Author Topic: Kit & Stuff  (Read 3318 times)


  • Quiet please
Kit & Stuff
« on: 05 November, 2016, 07:47:35 pm »
Seriously, the Brits complain about the weather so much, it never occurred to me that it might get uncomfortably hot and sunny.

You've evidently not been paying enough attention to Brits complaining about the weather.  Complaining about it being too hot is an important (but perhaps not entry-level) part of that[1], as well as complaining about all the knock-on effects that come from things going wrong due to unexpectedly non-mediocre weather[2].

The catch is that we have a quota of exactly 2 weeks of hot weather per year - traditionally this is scheduled around major sporting events such as Wimbledon[3] and international cricket, and timed to overlap with the mass exodus to ABROAD in search of warmer weather.  A day or two of freakishly warm weather may occasionally be deployed in early spring, as long as they don't coincide with the Easter holidays.

So there's a blink-and-you-missed-it-effect with British heatwaves.  Things to look out for include tabloid headlines along the lines of "Phew, what a scorcher!"; railway disruption due to warping rails and dehydrated passengers (rather than the more traditional excuses); any successful attempt at a barbecue; weather forecasters suddenly expressing an interest in the seaside; and sun-burnt Mancunians.

Brits venturing outdoors know to carry both factor-50 sunblock and arctic weather gear at all times.

[1] Useful phrase:  "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
[2] Designing infrastructure to cope with extreme weather conditions is considered un-patriotic.
[3] In 2009, a retractable roof was fitted to Centre Court in order to prevent Cliff Richard from singing.  Further research is needed on its precise effect on the climate.