Concentration gone to hell under lockdown

[DuncanM]

That's interesting - I sit here surrounded by notebooks (and the garage/loft is full of unfinished projects and I never completed my PhD, and the only way I could study was with music on)!
I guess it's time to put some music on and actually do some work!

[ScumOfTheRoad]

GeraldC, that is interesting about PhD writeups. I did finish mine, but it took years and I handed it in on the very last day it would be accepted (a time limit was applied).
I work best when I have a deadline, and in fact artificially create deadlines.

[Notsototalnewbie]

That's good to hear your GP is sympathetic, Gerald. I guess as with so many things it depends on the individual.

I do the notebook thing too. In fact some of them are now getting used because the husband can't raid the office stationery cupboard any more for his work projects and keeps asking me for another.

Both my careers to date have been deadline focused and if the deadline isn't close I really have to force myself to do the work.

[geraldc]

ADHD people tend to be front end perfectionists, we won't start anything unless everything is perfect, aka chronic procrastinators, we'll always find an excuse not to do something. Just call your gp and make an appointment. There's very little downside, round here it's all gone to phone consultations again, so at worst you'll have to chat with someone on the phone for a bit. If that doesn't work, go private, but at least try your gp.

[SteveC]

However the one trait that really rang the alarm bells for me, was when it asked in a book do you feel the need to buy a new notebook for every major project, and then abandon the notebook within a couple of pages.  I have a drawer full of nearly new notebooks.

One thing I've made myself do in lockdown is use up all those notebooks I've been collecting. Well, almost. I did end up buying a couple of shorthand/reporters pads as well. Though, to be fair, the driver was an attempt to fire up before the revamp of the home office space.

[barakta]

AD(H)D is also massively under recognised in women as it's seen as a "naughty boy" condition, or that it's hyperactive even when 'inattentiveness' is a significant component.

I have found it fascinating listening to ADHDers talking about the lived experience of having it rather than just the diagnostic criteria. And indeed the impacts on partners, families, relationships and so on.

[Sergeant Pluck]

ADHD people tend to be front end perfectionists, we won't start anything unless everything is perfect, aka chronic procrastinators, we'll always find an excuse not to do something.

New pen or I can’t start. Cue hours looking at Cult Pens. For tasks that are to be done mostly on the computer.

Geraldc, I would be extremely interested to read anything you are willing to share on any strategies that may be suggested to you.

[geraldc]

The big thing, is not replying to messages as you don't feel it at the moment, and then by the time you remember to reply, it's been such a long time, that it's frankly embarrassing that so much time has passed, so you just leave it. I had a colleague look at my draft emails folder once, he went white as a sheet.

[Notsototalnewbie]

ADHD people tend to be front end perfectionists, we won't start anything unless everything is perfect, aka chronic procrastinators, we'll always find an excuse not to do something. Just call your gp and make an appointment. There's very little downside, round here it's all gone to phone consultations again, so at worst you'll have to chat with someone on the phone for a bit. If that doesn't work, go private, but at least try your gp.

Yeah I know you're right. I feel frivolous taking their time for something like this when I already take their time for other stuff. Which I know isn't how it should work but it's how I feel.

I found an email yesterday that I should have replied to weeks ago but it had something in it I didn't like so it ceased to exist for a while 

I would also be interested in what you learn.

[Jurek]

I'm finding this to be a very interesting thread.
I work with people who leave everything until the last moment.
Which I totally, utterly  fail to understand.
Whereas I plan, plan, plan everything to within an inch of its life.
It is the only way I can maintain control.

[Gattopardo]

Control freak. 

[Jurek]

Control freak. 

Totally.

[citoyen]

I work with people who leave everything until the last moment.

Nothing sharpens the mind like an impending deadline.

I think John Finnemore must have had me in mind when he wrote this:
https://youtu.be/eb0TRa_F7GA

(First comment: "Anyone listening to this song when they're supposed to be doing work?" Er...  )

[Jurek]

I work with people who leave everything until the last moment.

Nothing sharpens the mind like an impending deadline.

I think John Finnemore must have had me in mind when he wrote this:
https://youtu.be/eb0TRa_F7GA

(First comment: "Anyone listening to this song when they're supposed to be doing work?" Er...  )

Good comment  .
I tend to work on a 'What if / All points covered' basis, and sure, occasionally it goes tits up but, for the most part, my client thinks that I can walk on water.

[geraldc]

Yeah I know you're right. I feel frivolous taking their time for something like this when I already take their time for other stuff. Which I know isn't how it should work but it's how I feel.

From first suspicions of ADHD, it's taken me 5 years to see my gp and seek formal help. I saw him just before lockdown, and the hospital sent a letter confirming my referral after a week, and then nothing for months. My other half was so stressed by me being me during lockdown, I had to chase the gp and hospital a few weeks ago. You don't realise it, but it affects every part of your life, not just work life. I'm used to my inconsistency, for others it's a nightmare. It's actually nice to be able to talk to other people who might have it. My mates from school and uni are high achievers/borderline aspergers, and I haven't found anyone else with ADHD in my peer group (we think my granddad had it, but that's due to him blowing the family fortunes due to impulse control issues) but talking about issues like the need for background noise podcast/music, notebooks, and failing to correspond in a timely manner is quite comforting, as now I know it's not just me.

[ian]

I have to be honest, but I find the need to pathologize everything a bit odd. Every parent I know will explain in great detail how their little ones are dyslexic, hyperactive, or allergic to x-y-and-z and even if they aren't actually diagnosed, they'll be in an active campaign to get that diagnosis that makes world war 2 look like a playground disagreement. Where did normal go? Is this just a middle-class thing to squeeze their kids into some kind of special?

I have skittish attention and always did, it wasn't great for education, but hey ho, but I've come to terms with it. This is how my brain works. I muddle words far worse than some people I know who'll never miss and opportunity to tell me about their dyslexia. I'm shy enough that I must be on some kind of spectrum, I'm just to timorous to sign up. I must have something wrong with me. Or probably, I'm just what I am, and I work with that. We are all, in fact, our own little snowflake.

Before someone rants, I'm not saying these things don't exist, or that there are no benefits in setting a diagnosis boundary where these things really are a problem, but sometimes it seems we try too hard to demonstrate that we've got something wrong.

[Mike J]

My attention has definitely got worse, the worst example is in work meetings, due to sitting at a desk instead of in a meeting room with other participants.  I stop paying attention quite a lot.

[geraldc]

If you ask me what needs to be done. I can tell you perfectly. If you tell me to execute the plan, it could go horribly wrong. I know what to do, but for some reason my gears seem stuck in neutral.
My brain has problems deciding on basic stuff, eg, should I spend 15 mins firing off a report that is overdue to a key client, or should I help a colleague on some minor but "interesting" problem, that could potentially take hours, and if solved wouldn't get me any credit anyway. Unless I put in effort focusing, I end up doing stuff that makes no sense. But while I'm doing this pointless task I kind of feel fulfilled/useful.

There are strange things, I like stuff in piles all over the place. It would look messy to 99% of people, but my brain sees it as my pile of stuff, therefore not a mess. If I make a mess, it's almost as if I literally can't see it.

[Kim]

I have to be honest, but I find the need to pathologize everything a bit odd.

It's what you have to do when accessing services (eg. education) from people who subscribe to (or have to work within a funding framework based on) the medical model of disability.

Yes, it would be brilliant if teaching was accessible to everyone by default, but that's a bit too social model, as it would mean doing things differently and possibly *gasp* spending money.

I blame Thatcher.

[rob]

I recall from school, and it wasn’t too far from where Ian grew up, that we had thick kids and bright kids and that was it.  There was no spectrum to be on, you were just good at school or bad at it.  In truth I suspect the system was just massively failing a tonne of kids.  I was lucky in that I was good at exams and it saw me through.

As a parent we were taken to one side and told at an early age that our child would not make it through the school system in tact.  We were incredibly fortunate to have the budget and time to get a full diagnosis and to get the school to put a plan in place.  I documented elsewhere how were really unsure about medicating him but we did and it made a huge difference.  He’s now flying along at his senior school.  He will still get distracted 4 times between his bedroom and the front door.

It has to be said that there is no longer a stigma here.  Some employers are now actively looking for employees that are on the spectrum, particularly in coding and analysis roles.  The consultant we dealt with said she had to deal with people who were begging for a positive diagnosis in order to get their dream job.

[Lightning Phil]

My attention has definitely got worse, the worst example is in work meetings, due to sitting at a desk instead of in a meeting room with other participants.  I stop paying attention quite a lot.

To be honest that’s nothing new. If you ever worked from home in the last twenty years and dialled into a conference call. About 99% of the time you didn’t really need to be there. They’d be in jokes if a group was in a meeting room that you wouldn’t quite pick up. You’d put yourself on mute whilst you did something more productive whilst kind of listening for anything relevant. Most meetings are badly run even before people are remote. It’s hard to concentrate when meetings aren’t focused and you’ve got a ton of stuff to do.

[FifeingEejit]

Sorry what?
I was to busy playing with my hair.


Although writing that did just help me find the Stig tub that contains my SD card which lives in the pile of stuff infront of my keyboard (recently cleaned, see WFH Rejig thread) that I was looking for 30 minutes ago to put the SD card out of the Dead Sansa Clip.

I maintain that a bike is the ultimate fidget spinner.

[Mike J]

My attention has definitely got worse, the worst example is in work meetings, due to sitting at a desk instead of in a meeting room with other participants.  I stop paying attention quite a lot.

To be honest that’s nothing new. If you ever worked from home in the last twenty years and dialled into a conference call. About 99% of the time you didn’t really need to be there. They’d be in jokes if a group was in a meeting room that you wouldn’t quite pick up. You’d put yourself on mute whilst you did something more productive whilst kind of listening for anything relevant. Most meetings are badly run even before people are remote. It’s hard to concentrate when meetings aren’t focused and you’ve got a ton of stuff to do.

Despite having had a laptop for 5 years plus, have never had the "approval" to wfh before now 

[ian]

I struggled at school, in part because I came from no great tradition of thinking and academic achievement, my parents left school at the first opportunity (in my father's case, a couple of years before it was legally advisable), but my brain doesn't work with a conventional lesson structure. I'm not going to pay attention for an hour. I work on a scale of minutes. I just assumed I was stupid and no one disagreed with my self-diagnosis. I also couldn't see anything because I needed jam-jar glasses but wasn't going to ask for them because it was better to be stupid than look stupid. So much of my childhood was blurry and dim in every which way.

I remember being grabbed by a teacher on the eve of comprehensive school. "You can't see, can you?" Sure, said I, used to bluffing it. "What's written on the board?" Normally, I'd have copied from someone else, but it was just me and I was so obviously caught. Anyway, that meant they dragged my parents to school (who also hadn't noticed) and earned me precisely the NHS specs of a telescopic prescription that anyone teetering on their teenage years feared more than anything else.

But anyway, I owe another teacher once at comprehensive school who took an interest in my apparent stupidity and knocked some sense of potential achievement into me. That and the fact I was always curious about stuff and spent my weekly paper round money on something called the Joy of Knowledge, a weekly encyclopaedia, each issue of which I consumed, and a library card that was perpetually maxed out. Anyway, I got a degree, a PhD, several years knocking out some top-notch molecular genetics. My younger sister got a couple of GCSEs and her daughter has all the intellectual curiosity of a rock and, currently, a career in the unemployment industry (not entirely her fault, she was doing some kind of childcare course that didn't survive its intersection with the current pandemic).

I'm not sure where we draw the line between people having individual needs and people having some form of pathology. Drawing the line sometimes seems wrong. I'm eternally thankful for the attentions of a few people and I understand how much of my life was luck (and honestly this is what royally fucks me off about the entitled, privately educated people, who never have to contemplate that so much of everything is circumstance).

[L CC]

I have to be honest, but I find the need to pathologize everything a bit odd.

It's what you have to do when accessing services (eg. education) from people who subscribe to (or have to work within a funding framework based on) the medical model of disability.

Yes, it would be brilliant if teaching was accessible to everyone by default, but that's a bit too social model, as it would mean doing things differently and possibly *gasp* spending money.

I blame Thatcher.

It's spending the same money, except spending it on medicalising personality traits instead of on educating people.

I find it loathsome and think it's probably unhelpful, long term, as it removes some personal responsibility in overcoming ones own limitations.