The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[Regulator]

The NHS Standard Contract is only legally binding and enforceable in a court of law when the contract is with a non-NHS provider. Contracts between NHS bodies (i.e. between CCGs and NHS Trust and NHS Foudation Trusts) are not legally binding and not enforceable in a court of law.

I know the Department of Health have said the new food quality standards will be implemented through the NHS Standard Contract and will be legally enforceable. The Department of Health, and the Minister, are talking out of their arses (as per usual).

BBC - please stop repeating this 'legally enforceable' bol10cks..

[mrcharly-YHT]

Fecking car insurance companies.

Renew insurance - online. Original purchase - online. Documents are PDFS.

So when I renew, why do you fucking cockwombles insist on a *paper* proof of NCD? I insured with you last year, I haven't made a claim.

[Pickled Onion]

Fecking car insurance companies.

Renew insurance - online. Original purchase - online. Documents are PDFS.

So when I renew, why do you fucking cockwombles insist on a *paper* proof of NCD? I insured with you last year, I haven't made a claim.

The wonders of technology eh? I phoned my ins co on renewal this year:
- Do you really need me to send proof on NCD for a renewal?
- Yes sir, it's a requirement of the policy.
- Ok, can you send me a proof of NCD and a return envelope?
- Oh, were you insured with us?
- Err, yes that's what renewal means   

[spesh]

Re: chuggers. What really annoys me about the ones who've come to my door - and I think most, if not all, of the ones I've failed to avoid on the street as well - is that they don't want a donation, they want you to sign up to some kind of direct debit subscription thing.

My theory is that by getting the mark donor - to sign up to a few quid a month, the charities are reckoning that the direct debit gets lost in the background noise of the donor's finances, and the donor will forget to cancel after say, a year. So they get a hell of a lot more out of a donor than if they accepted a one-off cheque. And of course, after your direct debit donation has been running for a month or so, they start phoning you or sending letters, trying to get you to increase the amount taken from your bank account each month...

[Cudzoziemiec]

Yeah, I think that goes without saying!

[mrcharly-YHT]

Fecking car insurance companies.

Renew insurance - online. Original purchase - online. Documents are PDFS.

So when I renew, why do you fucking cockwombles insist on a *paper* proof of NCD? I insured with you last year, I haven't made a claim.

Reply from insurance company:

Dear Mr Dent,

Thank you for your e-mail.

We apologise for the delay in our response.

I can confirm that AXA Insurance.com is a new internet based company. Unfortunately we do not have access to other AXA policies within the new system.

Please contact your previous insurer as they will send you the correct documents, which you will need to forward to us as soon as possible.

[tatanab]

Fecking car insurance companies.

Renew insurance - online. Original purchase - online. Documents are PDFS.

So when I renew, why do you fucking cockwombles insist on a *paper* proof of NCD? I insured with you last year, I haven't made a claim.

Reply from insurance company:

Dear Mr Dent,

Thank you for your e-mail.

We apologise for the delay in our response.

I can confirm that AXA Insurance.com is a new internet based company. Unfortunately we do not have access to other AXA policies within the new system.

Please contact your previous insurer as they will send you the correct documents, which you will need to forward to us as soon as possible.

I had an issue with AXA about 18 months ago.  I had a simple question that I could not find an answer to on their website, so I phoned them.  They would not deal with me because I had not bought my insurance on the phone or internet but with a broker.  I was instructed to speak to the broker, then if necessary the broker could ask the question --- but not me.

[phantasmagoriana]

I think I've managed to lose my waterproof jacket. Fairly sure I had it on a ride on Tuesday, but now it's nowhere to be found...probably dropped it on the road somewhere.

[Si_Co]

Bikeroutetoaster, what the feck have you done??? Why can I no longer use the A523?

yes I've checked I haven't got the avoid highways box checked.

Its taken me 2 hours to figure out that to produce the ruddy cue sheets to use this road I have to tell you I'm using a car? ?

The clue is in the name of your website, its my ruddy ride i don't need your safety elves telling me which roads I can / can't use.

Just bloody route where I click.   I do not want a 15 mile detour to avoid 1 mile of road, I just want to climb The Cloud

[barakta]

You're all Masters degree qualified you should be able to read and manage a not-that-busy JISC academic mailing list.

Firstly you don't read so you third-person the OP assuming she's describing a third-person, when she IS the subject of the enquiry that she's making.  Then you reply to a random replyee to the OP demanding that she provides the full name of the person the enquiry is about. So someone else rightly replies and says "NO! Don't breach privacy on this list!".

You don't get to have a total pissy fit and whine about how hard it is to understand the list and waily.  You fucked up, repeatedly, someone stopped your fuckup from crossing from annoying to unethical and unlawful.  Grow the fuck up. Get the fuck over yourself. LEARN TO READ.

Can I shoot the minority of idiots on my professional mailing lists who have no netiquette whatsoever?  Please?  Put them out of their misery as they shouldn't be allowed out on the Internet on their own. 

[Chris S]

FRONT LIGHTING.

OK - I'm going to link to this from all over the place, because this is my Definitive Guide to Front Lights.

USE A DYNO-WHEEL AND SOME KIND OF GERMAN LED LIGHT.

Er... Just that, really.

I don't want to hear anyone saying "What about Battery lights?" or some such bollocks. They are SHIT!!! OK? Fucking SHIT!

I have (*counts*) Two Hope One front lights, (even more counting) One hundred and thirteen thousand AA batteries (or 24 - still quite a lot), and four (yes FUCKING FOUR) battery chargers.

Now.

Chris. How many times, in the last five years, and (counts some more) 78,453km of cycling, have you had a problem with the dynohub/LED combo? Erm... none. Not once. Never. Nada. Turn it on - there it is.
Even in the rain, Chris? Yep - rain, fog, snow, freezing fog or just because I forgot to turn 'em off. They're ON.

I see.

Chris. How many times have you had a problem with your battery lights?

Erm. Pretty much every time. They last about 15 minutes, then I have to change the batteries and they last for another 20 minutes or so before cutting out.

Now folks. I'm prepared to accept that when it gets dark around here, it gets Properly Fucking Dark. None of that Orange Sodium Glow shit. It's Dark. You get it? There could be a 6 foot deep chasm in the road - you wouldn't see it - you'd ride into it and die. It's fucking dark. So you need decent lights. But my battery lights just don't seem to last more than about 20 minutes.

So. Now that it's Autumn, do yourself a favour. Unless you live in (a) London, (3) Manchester, (vii) Leeds or (finally) Birmingham, forget that family meal at Bargain Burgers & Grill - buy yourself a dyno-hub wheel and light, and throw your Hope Ones in the bin. They are Complete Shit.

[Basil]

Excellent ranting Chris.   

[hellymedic]

You made me feel much better about the dynowheel + German lights that David has two (or is it three?) of his bikes, for which muggins has paid. Thanks Chris!

[madcow]

Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck.
Took my sunglasses case out with me in the car so that I could use said sunglasses when driving.
Opened up case to find-no fucking sunglasses.
Somewhere in France or on a P+O ferry  there is a pair of prescription Oakleys, but fuck knows where.
I can't ever remember taking them off to put my normal glasses on  and driving home it was so damp and miserable that I didn't need them for 4 days.
You know that feeling?
Yep, got my shades , they are in the case, no worries. Except they ain't anymore and never were. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Anyway they were too dark to be safe except in the brightest conditions-like you get in France on holiday.

[Templogin]

Dynohubs?  No.  They are fine for downhill, but it's like having a fat bloke sat on the back of the bike as soon as you go uphill.  Get some decent lights!

[Chris S]

Dynohubs?  No.  They are fine for downhill, but it's like having a fat bloke sat on the back of the bike as soon as you go uphill.  Get some decent lights!

There's already a fat bloke sitting on the back of my bike. Me! So it doesn't matter so much 

[Templogin]

And mine, so that makes two fat blokes that I am trying to get up the hill.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Curiously, I was reading on Copenhagenize (from a photo Bledlow posted) that in Denmark at least, the dynamo is almost extinct. Seems everyone uses Reelights there. According to that blog, at least. Number 4 in this list.

[jsabine]

Dynohubs?  No.  They are fine for downhill, but it's like having a fat bloke sat on the back of the bike as soon as you go uphill.  Get some decent lights!

I'm with Chris. Dynohubs and German lights are decent, just work, and don't add any resistance I'm competent enough to notice or fast enough to worry about.

[Jaded]

Surely the dynohubs slow down the front wheel, that's why you need a fat bloke on the back, to slow the back one down.

[davelodwig]

Dynohubs?  No.  They are fine for downhill, but it's like having a fat bloke sat on the back of the bike as soon as you go uphill.  Get some decent lights!

Maybe you've just got a crap dynohub! mine are all great.

A good workman cyclist never blames his tools bicycle, etc.

[Templogin]

Dynohubs?  No.  They are fine for downhill, but it's like having a fat bloke sat on the back of the bike as soon as you go uphill.  Get some decent lights!

Maybe you've just got a crap dynohub! mine are all great.

A good workman cyclist never blames his tools bicycle, etc.

What!!!  Only the finest German manufactured thing.  Feels like the front wheel has gone square when I switch it on, but then again I am a sensitive soul! 

I think that it is a Son 28.

[mcshroom]

I'd suggest it's mainly in the mind

I have an N72 and would struggle to notice the difference between that and the Deore LX hub on the non dynohub wheel it replaced. The LX runs far longer when spun on a stand, but it really isn't noticalbe on the road IME.

[davelodwig]

Given that it should make no difference if the light is on or off, yep I'd say it's all in your brain.

I have a SON28 and couldn't tell the difference, but then I am a 100 kilo pie hoover maybe if you are a racing whippet these things matter.

[Butterfly]

As a lardy lump who notices and is hampered by hills and headwinds that are indiscernible to everyone else, I think you are imagining it or yours has a fault. I have them on all but my ti bike (and that one is only a matter of time) and don't notice them at all.