Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Arts and Entertainment => Topic started by: rogerzilla on 21 December, 2018, 01:19:06 pm

Title: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 December, 2018, 01:19:06 pm
Have we done this yet?  Springsteen's "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" is on the radio at the moment and it's atrocious.  Bruce can't (or can't be arsed to) sing, which may suit some of his rougher numbers but certainly not a standard like this.  The production is a mess and it was a crap song to start with.

Special mention for the Ronan Keating cover of "Fairytale Of New York" which one Christmas compilation saw fit to include instead of the original.  I haven't made it my worst Christmas song simply because I've never listened to more than 10 seconds of it.  Apparently the infamous "faggot" line is changed to "you're cheap and you're haggard"  ::-)
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: mattc on 21 December, 2018, 05:56:28 pm
Quote from: rogerzilla on 21 December, 2018, 01:19:06 pm
Apparently the infamous "faggot" line is changed to "you're cheap and you're haggard"  ::-)
Somewhat OT, but:

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And even more OT:
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Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: mattc on 21 December, 2018, 06:39:01 pm
How do you rate the sausage roll song Rog. Is it worthy of your list? I haven't heard it yet.

"Worst result" for William Hill:
https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/music/1062472/Christmas-Number-One-2018-Ladbaby-Ava-Max-Ariana-Grande-Xmas-charts-no1-single-chart

Quote
However, UK bookies William Hill have already accepted defeat and revealed the winner.

A press release statement from spokesman Rupert Adams said: "Bookmakers William Hill can report that the LadBaby Christmas Number One result was their worst result is almost a decade.

“LadBaby has produced an early Christmas present for a bucket load of our customers and the industry will be paying out a six figure sum today. The last time we got done as badly was Rage Against The Machine in 2009.”
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 December, 2018, 09:07:07 pm
They keep playing bits of this year's Xmo #1 on the telly.  "Godawful caterwauling" doesn't even come close.

To return to the original theme: anything and everything on His Bobness' "Christmas In The Heart".  Even his unintentionally comedic groaning of "Adeste Fideles" in the original lat. cannot save it.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 December, 2018, 10:11:16 pm
I've heard most of the Sausage Roll song.  It's awful (face it, the original is actually used in an endurance-based drinking game), but Do They Know It's Christmas? is worse.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Ben T on 21 December, 2018, 11:02:01 pm
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AtNSfl0sxZVl9lilR1UlaeXrQnAf

(Listen to it all)

Might do the George Micheal one tomorrow but suddenly rather than gradual

 :)
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Wowbagger on 21 December, 2018, 11:28:54 pm
Anything by John Rutter.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 December, 2018, 11:47:08 am
Quote from: Wowbagger on 21 December, 2018, 11:28:54 pm
Anything by John Rutter.
I agree.  Atonal torture.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: T42 on 22 December, 2018, 01:24:51 pm
Oi! I've just had lunch. :sick:
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Peter on 22 December, 2018, 01:31:26 pm
Quote from: rogerzilla on 22 December, 2018, 11:47:08 am
Quote from: Wowbagger on 21 December, 2018, 11:28:54 pm
Anything by John Rutter.
I agree.  Atonal torture.

Sorry, definitely not atonal - everything totally predictable and as if he was writing carols for Disney films.  Suspended chords to death!  In his twenties at Clare College, he was much more traditional. 
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 December, 2018, 10:31:21 am
Quote from: Peter on 22 December, 2018, 01:31:26 pm
Sorry, definitely not atonal - everything totally predictable and as if he was writing carols for Disney films.  Suspended chords to death!  In his twenties at Clare College, he was much more traditional. 
That's an excellent description!

A couple of weeks ago I was in central Manchester listening to a Christmas concert performed by ChorusUK!, of which Jan's sister is a member. This guy (https://www.andybooth.co.uk/) is their musical director. He's a pretty good jazz pianist.

All the music in the concert was taken from films and the choir performed very well. I hated every minute of it.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: hellymedic on 23 December, 2018, 03:30:23 pm
Quote from: Peter on 22 December, 2018, 01:31:26 pm
Quote from: rogerzilla on 22 December, 2018, 11:47:08 am
Quote from: Wowbagger on 21 December, 2018, 11:28:54 pm
Anything by John Rutter.
I agree.  Atonal torture.

Sorry, definitely not atonal - everything totally predictable and as if he was writing carols for Disney films.  Suspended chords to death!  In his twenties at Clare College, he was much more traditional.

Christmas cake with too much icing, served in syrup...
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 December, 2022, 07:57:15 am
I heard the butchered version of Kirsty and The Pogues yesterday.  "Slut" is simply blanked out and she (or a soundalike, probably) does indeed sing "you're cheap and you're haggard".

Sainsbury's were playing what I think is the Ariana Grande cover of "Last Christmas".  Insipid crap.

Some compilations include, presumably for licensing reasons, Samantha Mumba's cover of That Mariah Carey Song.  To "Viz" readers, any mention of Samantha Mumba induces guilty sniggering.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 December, 2022, 09:50:30 am
Quote from: rogerzilla on 22 December, 2022, 07:57:15 am
Sainsbury's were playing what I think is the Ariana Grande cover of "Last Christmas".  Insipid crap.

That was probably the one I heard on Monday.  While it's not a crime on a par with covering “Seven Nation Army” with an acoustic guitar it’s still a WOMBAT.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 December, 2022, 06:30:12 pm
LadBaby, however noble the cause, have managed to make a shit song even shitter.

The charts are long dead anyway, killed by The X Factor, streaming and Ed Sheeran having the whole top 10 at once.
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: TheLurker on 23 December, 2022, 07:39:29 pm
There are times when being a decrepit old git and completely out of touch with what passes for popular "culture" has much to recommend it and I suggest that young Mr. Zilla seriously consider it as a strategy to avoid early and unwanted apoplexy. 

*Wanders off to look for a fresh box of gramophone needles.*
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 December, 2022, 09:04:34 pm
Quote from: rogerzilla on 23 December, 2022, 06:30:12 pm
LadBaby, however noble the cause, have managed to make a shit song even shitter.

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Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 25 December, 2022, 12:26:10 am
Quote from: rogerzilla on 22 December, 2022, 07:57:15 am
To "Viz" readers, any mention of Samantha Mumba induces guilty sniggering.

I'd snigger. If I had any left...
Title: Re: Christmas turkeys (worst Christmas songs)
Post by: hubner on 25 December, 2022, 10:18:19 am
Simple answer: all of them*.

Except:
David Bowie and Bing Crosby - Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy (actually I only really like the part that Bowie sings)

Jona Louie - Stop the Calvary

The Farm - All Together Now

The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping


*varies in atrociousness though, some are bearable but some are an instant turn off, eg Fairytales of New York.