Mayo has its place, but it's sloppy ubiquity on every sandwich is criminal. More so, since it's never good mayonnaise, which should feature good oil, egg yolk, a splash of vinegar and not an ingredient list of twenty items. Why does mayo need to contain sugar? Who ever made mayonnaise and thought, you know, if only this were sweeter. Like most things it's worse in America. The miracle in Miracle Whip is that a single spoon of the stuff is enough to make your pancreas lament. It's basically like they fused mayonnaise and icing. I remember because I can't forget the first time I was served a sandwich with tuna and Miracle Whip. Ever wanted an iced tuna cake? Me neither. Deep trauma. I think I genuinely have PTSD.
This brings me on to more significant food crime: 'lite' versions of food. Firstly that taste horrible, ersatz simulacra of the real thing, as enticing as a thrice photocopied and then faxed naked lady picture. Secondly, they're basically sugar with added sugar and concoction of other ingredients that read like the Sigma Aldrich chemical catalogue.
I may as well round out with a triumvirate of food crime, ones that will be rightly punished in their time. That's Asian food without MSG. That's not even a facsimile of Asian food. You are offending an entire continent and they are frankly not going to take it.
