Cycling Room 101: Cycling Technology That Should Never Have Been Invented

[Afasoas]

What cycling technology causes more problems than it solves? What is all hype and no substance?
What cycling technology belongs in room 101?

My first nomination - solid tyres. You'd have to be a extreme massochist to keep these on your bike, even if going fast doesn't matter to you.

What would you nominate?

[sam]

Gears.

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Not really, but it's the first thing that came to mind, masochist that I am. What I meant to say was FIXED GEAR.

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A lot of hype there! But of course, horses for courses, etc.

[Kim]

Drop handlebars:  Let's replace controls that do one thing well with integrated units with all the serviceability of a Swiss watch, and that require the hands of a gorilla to apply the brakes properly from the normal riding position.  And then, because they're too awkward to fit proper moulded grips to, bodge it up with grubby-after-5-minutes tape like they're some sort of tennis bat.  Ostensibly for a meagre gain in aerodynamics and even less in comfort, but more likely because it means your bike can look a bit like those of your mid-20th-century sportsing heroes if you don't look at it too carefully.

[citoyen]

Saddles

[Tim Hall]

Magic Hats
The unrelenting march of New! Improved! bottom bracket "standards".

[T42]

Internally-routed cables, not just the abjectly daft through-the-headset variety but the ones that go under the bar tape as well.  One thing I used to love on my old 3x9 setup was that the gear cables sprang out of the sides of the shifters and I could rest my thumbs on them as an alternative to wrapping them round the bars. Now there's no thumb relief and I've got to unwrap the bars to put in a new outer: what rubbish!

Ditto profiled "aero" seatposts that you can't clamp anything onto.  Seatposts should be cylindrical and 27.2 mm in diameter, as God designed them.

You can sell an arsehole anything if you call it aero.

And not aero, but let's include sloping crossbars that make the frame too tight to take 2 x 1-litre bottles.  Call it stiffer if you like but the change was really made so that manufacturers could save money by making bikes in 4 or 5 sizes labelled S, M,L, XL etc rather than to real measurements with 1-cm increments between sizes. And with that that great long seatpost, is the setup really any stiffer?

[mzjo]

Drop handlebars:  Let's replace controls that do one thing well with integrated units with all the serviceability of a Swiss watch, and that require the hands of a gorilla to apply the brakes properly from the normal riding position.  And then, because they're too awkward to fit proper moulded grips to, bodge it up with grubby-after-5-minutes tape like they're some sort of tennis bat.  Ostensibly for a meagre gain in aerodynamics and even less in comfort, but more likely because it means your bike can look a bit like those of your mid-20th-century sportsing heroes if you don't look at it too carefully.

Do you mean integrated controls or drop bars? I am with you on integrated controls, less so on drop bars (there I speak as one who started on flat bars 55 years ago - before that it was roadster bars with rod and stirrup brakes_ went to drops, changed after several decades to flat bars and ended up going back to drops on the same bike). I have a mixture of drop, flat and USS. If you want an honest opinion, if it weren't for the frequent complications in fitting mirrors and bar-mounted accessories I would say the only bar worth having passes under your seat! (BTJM)

[Kim]

Saddles

I'd like to say that, but that would rule out mountain bicycles (which are great fun if you're at least 20 years younger and have any triceps worth speaking of) and a lot of pragmatic choices that make cycling a practical form of transport.

Saddles are fine on appropriate bikes.

[citoyen]

Saddles

I'd like to say that, but that would rule out mountain bicycles (which are great fun if you're at least 20 years younger and have any triceps worth speaking of) and a lot of pragmatic choices that make cycling a practical form of transport.

Saddles are fine on appropriate bikes.

But if only they'd spent a bit more time thinking about seating arrangements when they first invented the safety bicycle, we wouldn't have had to spend the next 150 years constantly reinventing saddles in a vain bid to make them comfortable.

[Kim]

And not aero, but let's include sloping crossbars that make the frame too tight to take 2 x 1-litre bottles.  Call it stiffer if you like but the change was really made so that manufacturers could save money by making bikes in 4 or 5 sizes labelled S, M,L, XL etc rather than to real measurements with 1-cm increments between sizes. And with that that great long seatpost, is the setup really any stiffer?

I'm too young to remember bicycles that fit properly, but assuming that there's stand-over height for a normal-sized person, is it actually possible to have a level top tube and a decent amount of space inside the triangle?

While we're on the subject of one-size-fits-none designs, I'm going to nominate "you can have any size you like, as long as it's 170mm" cranks (especially when combined with Exciting! New! bottom bracket standards, or clever things like e-motors or gearboxes which leave you stuffed for alternatives), and pretty much every item of women's cycle clothing that's designed for someone with the proportions of a Second Life avatar.

[sam]

I'm almost but not quite ashamed to admit that curvy bars were a fashion choice for me, after many miles on straights.



Can't abide brake levers that are anything other than brake levers though.

[T42]

And not aero, but let's include sloping crossbars that make the frame too tight to take 2 x 1-litre bottles.  Call it stiffer if you like but the change was really made so that manufacturers could save money by making bikes in 4 or 5 sizes labelled S, M,L, XL etc rather than to real measurements with 1-cm increments between sizes. And with that that great long seatpost, is the setup really any stiffer?

I'm too young to remember bicycles that fit properly, but assuming that there's stand-over height for a normal-sized person, is it actually possible to have a level top tube and a decent amount of space inside the triangle?

Decent amount of space? Those are 950 ml bottles.



Re stand-over, I'll admit that there's a good polish on my top tube. I'm a low-down bum, though.

[Hot Flatus]

recumbents

[rogerzilla]

All bottom bracket standards after square taper.

[Hot Flatus]

All bottom bracket standards after square taper.

Which square taper standard?

 

[Pingu]

Rat trap pedals.









Waits...

[Afasoas]

single pivot calliper brakes.

[zigzag]

cottered cranks and canti brakes

[Cudzoziemiec]

There probably aren't any that shouldn't have been invented but there are plenty that are inappropriately used. Even cables through the headset are probably fine on an aero-is-all pro TT stage with a pro mechanic to fettle everything every time.

Okay, I've thought of one that is plain daft because it offers no advantages to anyone, whether racing, touring, commuting, faux-racing or whatever: L-shaped cranks.

[Afasoas]

One piece cranks ... like those seen on bike shaped objects.

Gel saddle covers.

[Canardly]

Tubs.

[Kim]

Gel saddle covers.

These are actually useful:

1) For identifying bikes belonging to people who've kept the nasty stock saddle but don't cycle far enough to consider replacing it as a matter of course.

and subsequently:

b) For disguising Brooks saddles in a way that doesn't scream "There's an expensive leather saddle under this plastic bag!"

[Lightning Phil]

Does cycling cupboards with hooks on trains count?  They should not only be moved into room 101, but should be buried with instructions not to excavate for 1,000,000 years.

[Kim]

Does cycling cupboards with hooks on trains count?  They should not only be moved into room 101, but should be buried with instructions not to excavate for 1,000,000 years.

This Unit hereby endorses the product, service or sentiment.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Very much so.