Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces (Read 447536 times)

rogerzilla · « **on:** 18 November, 2011, 08:45:04 pm »

A thread for pointlessly amusing stories from the local press, not just the running joke that is the Swindon Advertiser.

I'll kick off with this one, which is notable both for the unimpressiveness of the photo and for the eminently sensible first reader comment.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/8683196.I___m_trapped_in_my_own_home_/?ref=mr

Maverick · « **Reply #1 on:** 19 November, 2011, 02:28:43 pm »

This is from the far distant (former) provinces

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/227721_10150189670889681_738479680_6991603_7524340_n.jpg

robbo6 · « **Reply #2 on:** 19 November, 2011, 03:50:32 pm »

Except it has been a trifle exaggerated
http://chronicle.augusta.com/news/crime-courts/2010-11-26/shoplifting-suspect-stabs-marine?page=3

noisycrank · « **Reply #3 on:** 19 November, 2011, 09:29:22 pm »

Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe

rogerzilla · « **Reply #4 on:** 19 November, 2011, 09:37:21 pm »

Quote from: pequod on 19 November, 2011, 09:29:22 pm

Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe

Quote

IT’s THAT time of year again. Weather forecasters promise the first flurries of Blue Toon snow in the coming weeks and Christmas is just around the corner.

But as children write their letters to Santa and mums begin to plan their fabulous festive feasts, a dark shadow looms over the town centre which threatens to dampen that community Christmas spirit.

That's almost Tony Parsons-esque.

rower40 · « **Reply #5 on:** 23 November, 2011, 09:42:23 pm »

My club getting its Warholesque 10 mins.
http://www.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/River-lights/story-13883950-detail/story.html

How bad is it going to look if someone drops the Olympic Flame in the water?

rogerzilla · « **Reply #6 on:** 11 February, 2012, 05:47:50 pm »

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment

Julian · « **Reply #7 on:** 11 February, 2012, 05:56:37 pm »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 11 February, 2012, 05:47:50 pm

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment

That's absolutely lovely. Okay, it's a total non-story, but WTF is wrong with people? Two comments, one making schoolboy jokes about the possible size of her vagina (vaginas are like concertinas, they can stretch and then return to normality) and the other one criticising a woman WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH FFS for being FAT. Jeez.

Julian · « **Reply #8 on:** 11 February, 2012, 06:15:08 pm »

Although for total non-stories, I think this one's got to be in the running:

http://www.ealinggazette.co.uk/ealing-news/local-ealing-news/2012/02/01/severe-delays-on-piccadilly-line-after-mystery-illness-at-north-ealing-64767-30246103/

rogerzilla · « **Reply #9 on:** 11 February, 2012, 06:23:52 pm »

Quote from: Julian on 11 February, 2012, 05:56:37 pm

Quote from: rogerzilla on 11 February, 2012, 05:47:50 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment

That's absolutely lovely. Okay, it's a total non-story, but WTF is wrong with people? Two comments, one making schoolboy jokes about the possible size of her vagina (vaginas are like concertinas, they can stretch and then return to normality) and the other one criticising a woman WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH FFS for being FAT. Jeez.

It sums up Swindon, though, in its sheer crassness. The story and the comments.

rower40 · « **Reply #10 on:** 11 February, 2012, 06:34:13 pm »

Quote from: Julian on 11 February, 2012, 06:15:08 pm

Although for total non-stories, I think this one's got to be in the running:

http://www.ealinggazette.co.uk/ealing-news/local-ealing-news/2012/02/01/severe-delays-on-piccadilly-line-after-mystery-illness-at-north-ealing-64767-30246103/

Bzzzt. Even in the most London-Centric view of the universe, Ealing doesn't count as provincial.

Even so, I hope the casualty Gets Well Soon.

Rig of Jarkness · « **Reply #11 on:** 21 February, 2012, 06:31:01 pm »

A nice story about the goings on on Lothian RT's no 30 bus

http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/mystery_youtube_bus_singing_sensation_revealed_1_2129382

rogerzilla · « **Reply #12 on:** 22 February, 2012, 07:13:57 pm »

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9544462.Row_erupts_over_naming_of_new_nightclub/?ref=mr

The actual story is boring, but scroll down for the marketing puff at the end

nicknack · « **Reply #13 on:** 22 February, 2012, 08:16:32 pm »

Wonderful!

What the hell were they on when they wrote that?

Having their very organ grasped?

Arch · « **Reply #14 on:** 21 March, 2012, 09:25:27 pm »

Spotted by me today, in a York Press from earlier in the week, quoted in full, as verbatim as I can remember.

"A child was locked in a car yesterday in X Street. The child's mother called the fire service at 7.52am. They attended, and persuaded the child to unlock the car from the inside, and left shortly after 8am".

I'm so glad I know where a fire engine was for those 8 minutes...

(there isn't an X Street, BTW, I can't remember which street it was.)

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #15 on:** 23 March, 2012, 04:36:54 pm »

I've never been to Whitby so I don't know how believable this is

http://www.scarborougheveningnews.co.uk/news/local/my-mother-is-a-9ft-green-alien-says-councillor-1-4377481?commentssort=1

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #16 on:** 23 March, 2012, 04:42:57 pm »

Extremely believable.

Especially during Goth weekend.

What's more terrifying, is that he looks like me, but with less hair.

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #17 on:** 23 March, 2012, 04:52:30 pm »

Maybe he's you from the future.

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #18 on:** 23 March, 2012, 05:01:47 pm »

Nah, my mum was purple, not green.

rogerzilla · « **Reply #19 on:** 21 April, 2012, 10:00:14 am »

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9661089.Naked_man_on_path_says_he_needed_toilet/?ref=mr

Poor bloke. I mean, who hasn't stopped their bike for a roadside slash and then decided to strip off completely?

rogerzilla · « **Reply #20 on:** 18 July, 2012, 08:09:35 pm »

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9821675.Bungling_council_workers_paint_wrong_road_sign/?ref=mr

Another frantic news day at the Swindon Advertiser.

rogerzilla · « **Reply #21 on:** 11 September, 2012, 06:54:29 pm »

http://www.hemeltoday.co.uk/news/local/hemel-hempstead-dog-poo-bin-set-on-fire-1-4096956

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #22 on:** 01 October, 2012, 01:00:38 pm »

http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/firefighters-rescue-man-with-head-stuck-in-bin-1-2556909

When I saw the headline I thought it might be an audaxer but it wasn't.

An update http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/bucket-heid-man-recalls-shocking-bin-ordeal-1-2556909

mcshroom · « **Reply #23 on:** 03 October, 2012, 04:41:33 pm »

Funny in that they believe this is actually newsworthy: -

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/pupils-walk-to-school-after-bus-crash-1.1000967?referrerPath=home

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #24 on:** 03 October, 2012, 05:16:29 pm »

That reminds me of a notice I saw outside a primary school somewhere in north Bristol: Please do not park here next Monday as we will be using this area to practice for our walking to school day.

Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces (Read 447536 times)

robbo6