Author Topic: B@st@rd squirrel!  (Read 17559 times)

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #25 on: 28 May, 2013, 07:01:38 am »
 ;D

LindaG

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #26 on: 28 May, 2013, 11:55:25 am »
What's a compact cassette?
Srsly?
Or are you being wag-like?

Well you were the one who brought it up   ???

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #27 on: 28 May, 2013, 12:23:24 pm »
What's a compact cassette?
Srsly?
Or are you being wag-like?

Surely it is one of those mini cassettes that you used to find in answer phones and dictaphones  :demon:

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
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Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #28 on: 28 May, 2013, 12:38:50 pm »
You should count yourself luck that it wasn't this guy:


Wowbagger

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Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #29 on: 28 May, 2013, 02:04:56 pm »
What's a compact cassette?
Srsly?
Or are you being wag-like?

Well you were the one who brought it up   ???

I had never heard it referred to as a "Compact Cassette" before. I thought they were just "Cassettes", or "Cassette tapes" but a google enlightened me.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #30 on: 28 May, 2013, 02:10:45 pm »
Wowbagger uses 8-track Lear jets.
Getting there...

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #31 on: 28 May, 2013, 05:58:57 pm »
...
I couldn't see him because he'd gone down the centre of a Persian rug I have rolled up under there.
Had I been smart, I would've closed off both ends of the rug, carried said rug to the outdoors, and released him back into the wild (wild in a South London kinda way)....

For which you could have been fined. It is illegal to release a captured grey squirrel into the wild. They must be humanely killed, or handed over to someone (e.g. the RSPCA) who can do it for you.

Shooting with a .22 air rifle with suitable ammunition is generally considered humane, if you have a steady hand, & guidance on other legal methods can be found on the web.

You can probably argue that you never had the squirrel trapped, so you didn't break the law by chasing it out of your flat.  ;D
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #32 on: 29 May, 2013, 06:51:28 am »

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #33 on: 29 May, 2013, 09:36:31 pm »
Jurek, you paint a hilarious picture. The thought of you running around jabbing at an increasingly pissed off/terrified squirrel with a pair of carbon forks is tear-inducing. Thank you.

Cam would have got rid of it sharpish. No squirrels grace our garden with their presence these days. They Remember.

Wowbagger

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Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #34 on: 30 May, 2013, 09:15:29 am »
I would be worried that the squirrel would hurt Morphy. This is the dog whose response to coming face to face with a badger a few weeks ago was to wag in a friendly fashion.

Many moons ago, when my dad kept hens, we had a rat problem. The hen houses, which measured 48' by 24' and each house 100 hens, had sliding doors that were often difficult to close tightly because of chicken dung and straw debris getting in the way. Where a gap of about half an inch existed, the rats widened it and obtained access to the hens' food. We would operate a pincer movement, my brother and I. Late at night, when the hens were roosting on their perches, we'd block the rats' exit with a rolled up newspaper, go in the door at the other end of the house, corner them whilst dazzling them with bright torches and I would then wade in with the cricket bat.

Only once did we make the mistake of sending the dog in after them. The black bit of his nose was virtually bisected by a rat.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #35 on: 30 May, 2013, 09:32:39 am »
On the other hand a jack russell would have had a happy half hour dispatching the rats.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Wowbagger

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Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #36 on: 30 May, 2013, 10:01:08 am »
On the other hand a jack russell would have had a happy half hour dispatching the rats.

Probably but I think much of it was an eyesight thing. That particular dog wasn't too bad at killing stuff, not like our current ridiculous pooch.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #37 on: 30 May, 2013, 10:04:32 am »
Probably. The scruffy little black mongrel terrier whose kingdom is the barns next to our house is no longer the rat killing machine he was in his younger days now his eyesight is fading.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

mcshroom

  • Mushroom
Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #38 on: 13 November, 2018, 08:19:52 pm »
I can't believe this thread is five years old! I saw this and thought of you Jurek ;D

Climbs like a sprinter, sprints like a climber!

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #39 on: 13 November, 2018, 08:21:23 pm »
I can't believe this thread is five years old! I saw this and thought of you Jurek ;D


Hah!

Wowbagger

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Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #40 on: 02 January, 2019, 09:36:46 pm »
There are some little corners of this forum which make you realise what a wonderful place it is.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

woollypigs

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Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #41 on: 23 September, 2022, 07:45:19 am »
Looks like the US have found the leaked footage of the encounter, though some wires were crossed or do we now know the real name of Jurek and place of living.

https://youtu.be/V_a0XryYjsg?t=649 (The Late Show with Stephen Colbert from yesterday look from about 10m49s, if link didn't work)
Current mood: AARRRGGGGHHHHH !!! #bollockstobrexit

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #42 on: 23 September, 2022, 08:02:44 am »
Looks like the US have found the leaked footage of the encounter, though some wires were crossed or do we now know the real name of Jurek and place of living.

https://youtu.be/V_a0XryYjsg?t=649 (The Late Show with Stephen Colbert from yesterday look from about 10m49s, if link didn't work)
I have a chair identical to the one in that clip and, yes, my conduct was pretty similar to that of that individual.
You won't know what it is like unless you have been there.

Kim

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Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #43 on: 23 September, 2022, 02:21:56 pm »
Way back in the 1990s, when I was a PSO, I received a frantic internal[1] phone call from my Shite Bunker correspondent, who was experiencing the analogue audio version of the above.  In the absence of a baseball bat (which seems like a fairly suspicious thing to keep by your desk when you don't even have a printer), he opted for the running out of the room and closing the door approach, abandoning a perfectly innocent packet of chocolate digestives.

It took a while for the squirrel to decide to leave...


[1] Which, as anyone with experience of ACC telecom will tell you, was all it was good for.

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #44 on: 23 September, 2022, 04:52:58 pm »
Why did I think PSO meant Person Shaped Object?

Blodwyn Pig

  • what a nice chap
Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #45 on: 23 September, 2022, 08:00:24 pm »
This squirrel thing............all you need is a Red squirrel fancy dress outfit. When said grey squirrel appears, or hides in the rug etc, jump out of the closet, (coz you is a closet red squirrel ,innit) and beat the feck out of him, then let him go. He'll then tell ALL his mates that red squirrels is nasty vicious b@stards, and they is H  U  G  E!! So don't mess wiv dem, innit.


Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #47 on: 29 September, 2022, 10:55:41 pm »
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

sam

Re: B@st@rd squirrel!
« Reply #48 on: 27 October, 2023, 07:58:55 am »
The OP raised a smile this morning, only 10 years late.


A squirrel's life: not all fun and games

We've just had our fascia fixed (also a bit tardy). This was prompted by the near repurposing of our loft as a nursery.