[LEL] Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route

[Phil W]

Somewhere in the middle of the route - it's all running together a bit already - I turned a corner and saw three folk on the roadside.  They gave me a cheer, which was nice but not all that unusual, and then one of them held something up for me to take as I passed.  It turned out to be a caramel waffle biscuit.  I think they might have been friends of the Dutch rider I'd been chatting to earlier, who by that time was probably about 5 mins ahead of me.  Gave me a real lift, it did.

This was turning left by the pub (on the right) heading south to Thirsk. Did same for us as well.

[Tynan]

yes, a nice thing

ditto the small children although they were on the wrong side of the road, although I can see that their parents wouldn't want to let them operate from the right side

the very odd time someone knew what we were all doing and called out good luck etc was very heartening

[Tomsk]

Grumpy German Lady wants Coke. 'Sorry, no Coke. Shop just up the road'. 'Why no Coke? I pay for Coke'. Now much  grumpier.
Ice-cream van appears. Brainwave - 'Don't let him leave until I've found the G.G.L. and alerted the fried inhabitants of the Starship Gt Easton'
G.G.L. now has ice cold Coke and is happy. Hugs me.

[Chris S]

the very odd time someone knew what we were all doing and called out good luck etc was very heartening

Very much this!

Boab loved it too. "Ooh Ooh, it's like PBP!"

[MAC]

Anybody else stop and buy a glass of fanta and a biscuit  off the little stall run by three children between Kingston and Bourn ?

I paid my 10p for a glass of lemonade and it made me smile for the rest of the day. Very sad they they were not still there for the return. No wonder the country is going downhill. No work ethic these youngsters. Just make a fast buck and then retire. I blame the investment bankers 

[CrinklyLion]

I rather enjoyed the.perplexed double and triple takes as various riders realised that yes, ir was me again.

And found it highly amusing that a few french riders briefly thought I actually was french. That hasn't happened to me since I actually lived there many years ago. And even then.people assumed I was from.the Alsace or summat! They must have been tired

[L CC]

Hey, I know you're not french and still did a double take as you discussed risotto and rice pudding options.

[Salvatore]

I rather enjoyed the.perplexed double and triple takes as various riders realised that yes, ir was me again.

It was worse than that. You had a spell as my imaginary friend on the St. Ives - Great Easton leg, calculating average speeds required to get to GE before the cutoff. I think chillmoister may have put in a cameo appearance as well.

[Fidgetbuzz]

German tandem fracas on Friday.

Given what happened later - I am fairly sure that it was a row about

 - well you packed my stuff - so where the F*ck is it now?
 No I didnt - you didnt take it on the ride.
Of course I bloody did - i always take it ....  unpack your bags and find it
Why dont you unpack your bags and look properly - and while you are at it - just leave the bag over your head - not only would I not be able to hear you but looks wise it would be a great improvement too.

For Fucks sake - i have looked at your fat arse for 1400kms - and you have lost my xxxx - just get stuffed and sod off back to your wife too - while you are at it . You really are a useless tosser

Repeat 6 times - louder each time..

Ok so what was it that was lost -- well she came up to me 15 minutes later - when i was pretty busy trying to get japanese who spoke no English a taxi to bayswater - and she fairly politely asked about lost property at Loughton. Went on to explain - now almost in tears that she had lost a very special , very old , irreplaceable cycling skirt -- I momentarily wondered whether she rode side -saddle - but as i failed to jump to her command - and she was beginning to look ready for another MAJOR yelling row - I pointed her towards the lost property boxes - unfortunately they did not contain the missing garment -- and I am fairly sure that I was now classified as a brain dead toss pot - and the whole effing organisation of LEL was worse than useless.

She then departed.

[mmmmartin]

Perhaps the funniest row, in an endless series of rows, was when they finally tried to get the tandem out of the door at Loughton. There was a minor difficulty, as you would expect, in getting a long tandem with a couple of panniers thr ough a door. Leaving aside the issue of loading a tandem AFTER taking it through the doors, there was yet another slanging match.
I think they should be offered free entry to 2017 because of the great entertainment provided in 2013.

[Chuffy]

Perhaps the funniest row, in an endless series of rows, was when they finally tried to get the tandem out of the door at Loughton. There was a minor difficulty, as you would expect, in getting a long tandem with a couple of panniers thr ough a door. Leaving aside the issue of loading a tandem AFTER taking it through the doors, there was yet another slanging match.
I think they should be offered free entry to 2017 because of the great entertainment provided in 2013.

I thought they were arguing about who should hold it up while he tried to pump up the tyres. I'm sure they are both lovely people.

[Fidgetbuzz]

Are they actually a married couple and their whole day to day existence is like that?

i was impressed - I would not get away with treating Mrs FB in such a way in private - never mind in public, in front of 100 curious audaxers. We should have asked a German to translate, or Damon to film.

Now if they were the German couple who thought their tandem had been stolen - the row then must have been spectacularly explosive ( for those who are unaware - huge effort was put into finding a replacement tandem and then it turned out that the hotel had moved it somewhere else for security reasons)

[Bobby]

In Edinburgh I queued for one of the working toilets. After 20 mins we agreed to check progress,

guy in queue: knocked and asked if they were ok/going to be long?
Guy in loo: pardon?
Guy in queue: are you ok, and will you be long?
Guy in loo: I'm ok, thanks for checking - I'd fallen asleep

2 mins later guy in loo says, oh shit - there is no paper     

[Pip]

I thought this was funny on the return leg:

SO Ramsey St.Mary, Ramsey Heights


You had to be there!

[hellymedic]

I take it Ramsey Heights is around the 10 metre contour line? (Can you find a contour line in that part of the world?)

[Kim]

IIRC Ramsey height is about 3 metres.  Just enough to get a boyracermobile nicely stuck when it veers off the road into the ditch.  I assume the bulk of the many potholes are subsidence caused by the use of hefty tow trucks.

[mattc]

In Edinburgh I queued for one of the working toilets. After 20 mins we agreed to check progress,

guy in queue: knocked and asked if they were ok/going to be long?
Guy in loo: pardon?
Guy in queue: are you ok, and will you be long?
Guy in loo: I'm ok, thanks for checking - I'd fallen asleep

2 mins later guy in loo says, oh shit - there is no paper     

:like:

[mattc]

Perhaps the funniest row, in an endless series of rows, was when they finally tried to get the tandem out of the door at Loughton. There was a minor difficulty, as you would expect, in getting a long tandem with a couple of panniers thr ough a door. Leaving aside the issue of loading a tandem AFTER taking it through the doors, there was yet another slanging match.
I think they should be offered free entry to 2017 because of the great entertainment provided in 2013.

I thought they were arguing about who should hold it up while he tried to pump up the tyres. I'm sure they are both lovely people.

Don't worry, they are And they've ridden numerous long rides together, including the 1200 at the start of July. Their specialism is losing each other in controls (not usually by accident). I'm actually impressed when they arrive at any control together.

Definitely a positive contribution to a ride, far better than silent happy people.

[trickedem]

On the return leg back to Brampton I was struggling to stay awake. Banksy had been ahead of me drawing some fantastic cartoons on the road, on the other hand it may have been the damp patches from the rain. However the most amazing thing was the small shoebox sized recumbent with green rear lights that undertook me, then disappeared. I suspect you could pay good money for drugs that would give a similar hallucinogenic experience.

[Bobby]

A classic car towing a caravan was dangerously overtaking cyclists in the hills near coxwold - he tried to pass me near the top of one blind summit just as a car crested the other way and they both hit the brakes and (luckily) stopped.

After that he could not get going again, revved hard, lots of smoke, a crunch of gears, and he rolled backwards. After a while I decided it was safe to pass, and politely shook my head at the driver who was getting redder and redder. No idea how he got going again...

[Pip]

I take it Ramsey Heights is around the 10 metre contour line? (Can you find a contour line in that part of the world?)

Let's just say it was a big ring climb 

[Revellinho]

I liked the bit, not too far into the ride, when the lady was shouting to riders... "Cambridge that way, Edinburgh this way".

[Chris S]

I liked the bit, not too far into the ride, when the lady was shouting to riders... "Cambridge that way, Edinburgh this way".

That was so the LEL riders didn't get mixed up with the London to Cambridge charity ride that was using the same section of road. We chuckled too 

[lantern rouge]

In no particular order,
Getting an unexpected 4am face wash from that disabled bog where I did not put the seat down. Then finding myself having a Basil Faultyesque rant at said bog.

Being woken by a massively loud fart by a neighbour in the Brampton dorm, eventually leaving my pit early rather than face death by farts.

Eating the bestest porridge ever at Moffat. I had to have three bowls full just to be sure.

In the toilets at Traquair after consuming a couple of drams, waving my hands furiously about to start the hand drier only to realise after some considerable time, it was a paper towel machine.

Approaching Thirsk and finding a rider (Calvin McKensie ? )having trouble with his bottom bracket which was in  mechanic speak 'shagged'. Being able to use local knowledge to direct him to Cowleys Cycles in Northallerton where the b/bkt was replaced in the time it took him to drink a coffee. Nice one Cowleys.

Pub staff allowing me to eat my chippy bought fish and chips in the pub whilst having a pint at Stamford Bridge. The locals were very interested in LEL, having seen the coming and going of riders over the previous few days. Loads of praise and admiration from the pub punters subsequently leading to difficulty in donning casque.

Northbound at Kirton I complained to Gerry B that the dehydration notices had been placed far too high up. Gerry said he was still able to read them despite his limited stature. I said I could read them okay but couldn't piss high enough to compare the colour to the chart. A lady sat beside him was eating soup and did the food /nose snorting thing. I'd call that a result!

[L CC]

 
You had far too much fun- clearly not trying!