Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances  (Read 122062 times)

TJG

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #500 on: 21 March, 2019, 09:42:39 pm »
"Daddy. I have put these things on the stairs.  Some are uppers and some are downers."
This is a perfectly sensible sentence, we knew exactly what she meant, at 6 she clearly did not have a varied collection of recreational narcotics.  It only took about 5 minutes before my wife or I could breathe again!

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #501 on: 21 March, 2019, 09:46:35 pm »
Things to go upstairs and downstairs? Sorted! Literally...
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #502 on: 01 April, 2019, 08:52:19 am »
When kids tell jokes, part 193...

Andrew: What did one maths book say to another maths book?
Mummy: I don't know, Andrew, what did one maths book say to another maths book?
Andrew: "Tell me about your problems!  Haha!"
Mummy: Haha!  Andrew, do you know why that's funny?
Andrew: (sheepishly) Because maths books can't talk!

 ;D

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #503 on: 29 April, 2019, 06:54:25 pm »
Miss Dan the Younger was suggesting bunking off to protest Trump.
Miss Dan the Elder pointed out that getting photographed and recognised would get her into trouble.
“I’ll just wear a mask” says the younger.
So proud :D

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #504 on: 26 May, 2019, 04:52:39 pm »
"One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight, ten, eleven, twelve, hundred, nineteen, twenty, sixty. Coming, ready or not!"
It was interesting to see the different seeking styles of the two smalls, aged about three. The one whose counting is above made a great show of looking in all sorts of places she could see the other one wasn't and walking past the place she could easily see he was. When it was his turn, he counted quickly and went straight to where she was obviously hiding. They were both of the "crouch under a table and call it hiding" school.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #505 on: 03 December, 2019, 09:54:57 pm »
"I wish people at my school wouldn't call him Santa Claus! That's American. We're British. He's Father Christmas!"

So said my gd, aged 9 years and 5 months.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #506 on: 17 January, 2020, 11:46:59 am »
Now.......shall we discuss pudding - My 6 year old who would get thrashed for her impertinence if I want laughing so hard at her delivery of the aforementioned

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #507 on: 28 January, 2020, 09:30:24 pm »
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #508 on: 29 January, 2020, 08:28:55 am »
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

You too, huh?  Take courage, it doesn't stop at 30. Or 40.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #509 on: 29 January, 2020, 07:34:00 pm »
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

You too, huh?  Take courage, it doesn't stop at 30. Or 40.

That's seriously depressing! Ours is just 18, but I already can't wait for her to earn a living and stop asking for money!

A

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #510 on: 29 January, 2020, 07:43:53 pm »

That's seriously depressing! Ours is just 18, but I already can't wait for her to earn a living and stop asking for money!


*falls on the floor, laughing*
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #511 on: 09 March, 2020, 10:12:27 am »
On telling my 6yo that his 6yo cousin also plays chess:
"Is Toby a Grandmaster too?"

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #512 on: 29 April, 2020, 07:31:03 pm »
He's way too old for this thread really, but where else would I put this? Tells me his history teacher used to say "If you don't like the syllabus, don't blame me, blame Michael Gove."
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #513 on: 18 May, 2020, 10:30:20 pm »
'Yesterday, you were a square; today you're a prime number.'

Nephew (who can't write yet) dictating text of birthday card to his mother, for older sister to write out.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #514 on: 11 September, 2020, 10:44:09 am »
Youngest monkey on being told its time to get up

But beds warm and I don't want to waste it

Can't really argue with that. Thankfully we have new chickens she's excited about and with the darker mornings I'm not in such a rush to let them out so helping with that was mentioned and she was up

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #515 on: 08 November, 2020, 02:51:08 pm »
Granson-Ham, currently just over 2 and beginning to grapple with the intricacies of language likes to find the familiar in all things. "Daddy's ar" (car), "mummy's ar", "Ham's ar" when seeing similar vehicles (and his brand recognition of my merc is frightening). Which explains why, when hearing a certain name in the news a lot at the moment, he says "Donald Duck"  ;D ;D (checks the thread I've put this in. Yep)

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #516 on: 08 November, 2020, 07:29:31 pm »
'Yesterday, you were a square; today you're a prime number.'

Nephew (who can't write yet) dictating text of birthday card to his mother, for older sister to write out.
That is awesome! I will have to set that as an exercise for my students.
simplicity, truth, equality, peace

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #517 on: 30 December, 2020, 11:17:56 am »
The other Dr fd3: Missed a call from the Morissons Delivery Man
#1 son: Boris Johnson called???
Us: huh?
#1 son: You said you missed a call from Mr Nonsense.
simplicity, truth, equality, peace

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #518 on: 30 December, 2020, 11:16:17 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D

My kid brother was 11 when he tapped on a bus timetable.

'Hard-backed fiction'... said he

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #519 on: 07 January, 2021, 05:48:16 pm »
My step-grandson

Mother: Who do you play with at school?
R: I play with Helena...
Mother: who else do you play with?
R: Mario
Mother: do you have any other friends?
R: biscuits.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #520 on: 20 February, 2021, 12:16:23 pm »
Boris!
(In the style of Captain Kirk shouting “Khan!”)
simplicity, truth, equality, peace

slope

  • Inclined to distraction
    • Current pedalable joys
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #521 on: 04 March, 2021, 08:48:27 pm »
In a car around midday, driving along a country lane with lots and lots of sheep grazing in a field.

Step-granddaughter Lily aged 4: "Look Paul, those silly baa lambs are standing on their dinner, ha ha haa"

rower40

  • Not my boat. Now sold.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #522 on: 08 March, 2021, 02:03:06 pm »
Misses mini-rower #1 and #2, now aged 7 and 5, with this lyric-change:

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen,
A kingdom of isolation, caused by COVID-19.
Be Naughty; save Santa a trip

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #523 on: 08 March, 2021, 02:53:55 pm »
Misses mini-rower #1 and #2, now aged 7 and 5, with this lyric-change:

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen,
A kingdom of isolation, caused by COVID-19.

 :thumbsup: but careful they don't want a copyright strike from Disney.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #524 on: 09 June, 2021, 08:37:17 am »
Not quite an utterance, but...
On Saturday, my daughter was searching for the opening times of the Covered Market in Oxford (she wanted to go there on Sunday). She wasn't finding any hits for her search results, so showed her phone, and we discovered she'd been searching for "Cupboard Market".  ;D
It was intentional - she thought that was what it was called. :)