Mid-Essex Mid-Week Nocturnal Series

[huggy]

Ok, sounds like a good Plan B, I'm up for missing COR'ing too seeing as I've just cleaned Vicky Vaya.
I reckon we'll either be in the Railway, somewhere between there and the station bike shed, or in/on the way to the Woolie by 9:30, definitely in the environs of Witham though.
 

[Carlosfandango]

It looks like I'll be out tonight, I'm looking forward to entering and leaving Braxted by every route possible. See you at the Spa.

[Tomsk]

Ok...so have I got this right: the peloton is omitting the Troy's Chase loop [about 7 miles] - so I'll need an intercept further out, assuming I set off at 19:30? I'll go for Colam Lane & North Hill - might get an extra ascent in if I'm lucky 

Otherwise gather at the 'Railway' to lock up at the station?

[Oaky]

Ok...so have I got this right: the peloton is omitting the Troy's Chase loop [about 7 miles] - so I'll need an intercept further out, assuming I set off at 19:30? I'll go for Colam Lane & North Hill - might get an extra ascent in if I'm lucky 

Just keep doing Norht Hill repeats until you see us.  If you get to 10, you'll know somebody in the Witham peloton must have had a puncture.

Otherwise gather at the 'Railway' to lock up at the station?

yep.  We can drink in sight of the bikes in/outside there until all have gathered

[huggy]

I think you've captured it, Tomsk.  No doubt Oaky and me will continue past the turn at Colam Lane to the General's Arms and return from there, just to get the OCD yacf TMNH ascent in.

You see how much confusion there has been over the route this evening - it's all due to OD's advance planning three pages back, it should be banned!!!

Let's shake things up a bit!  I have two suggestions ...

Firstly, each week, until we get bored with the following idea or someone comes up with a better one, or apathy drags us back to the status quo (not that the status quo isn't great fun), a member could produce a route that showcases their area and concludes with a visit to their local pub.  One of the benefits being that Chosen One ^TM for the week gets a nice short ride home.  I'm happy to go first this Wednesday if folks like the idea.

 

[The Retiree]

I think you've captured it, Tomsk.  No doubt Oaky and me will continue past the turn at Colam Lane to the General's Arms and return from there, just to get the OCD yacf TMNH ascent in.

You see how much confusion there has been over the route this evening - it's all due to OD's advance planning three pages back, it should be banned!!!

You always need to go up to the GA on a MNH ascent to insure the correct YACF strave segment has been notched up 


 

Let's shake things up a bit!  I have two suggestions ...

Firstly, each week, until we get bored with the following idea or someone comes up with a better one, or apathy drags us back to the status quo (not that the status quo isn't great fun), a member could produce a route that showcases their area and concludes with a visit to their local pub.  One of the benefits being that Chosen One ^TM for the week gets a nice short ride home.  I'm happy to go first this Wednesday if folks like the idea.

 

     

[Oscar's dad]

I think you've captured it, Tomsk.  No doubt Oaky and me will continue past the turn at Colam Lane to the General's Arms and return from there, just to get the OCD yacf TMNH ascent in.

You see how much confusion there has been over the route this evening - it's all due to OD's advance planning three pages back, it should be banned!!!

Let's shake things up a bit!  I have two suggestions ...

Firstly, each week, until we get bored with the following idea or someone comes up with a better one, or apathy drags us back to the status quo (not that the status quo isn't great fun), a member could produce a route that showcases their area and concludes with a visit to their local pub.  One of the benefits being that Chosen One ^TM for the week gets a nice short ride home.  I'm happy to go first this Wednesday if folks like the idea.

 

I hope you all have fun this evening - sorry I won't be joining you. I'm on the train waiting to leave L'pool St feeling mildly better after getting on the outside of a pint bought for me by a colleague. It was a pint of larger but still hit the spot.

[Oaky]

Personally, I think OD's illness was just a ploy and by replanning the route slightly we have now ruined his fun for the night - I bet he was planning to hide in the bushes on the COR section wearing nothing but his last year's epiphany costume and jump out at us when we went past.

OTOH,  instead of the COR section, he could always hide near Hurrell's Lane wearing the outfit.  Nothing could go wrong with that plan, surely!

Here's an artist's impression or OD near Hurrell'sDogger's Lane (not for the faint of heart):-

(click to show/hide)

[The Retiree]

I think you've captured it, Tomsk.  No doubt Oaky and me will continue past the turn at Colam Lane to the General's Arms and return from there, just to get the OCD yacf TMNH ascent in.

You see how much confusion there has been over the route this evening - it's all due to OD's advance planning three pages back, it should be banned!!!

Let's shake things up a bit!  I have two suggestions ...

Firstly, each week, until we get bored with the following idea or someone comes up with a better one, or apathy drags us back to the status quo (not that the status quo isn't great fun), a member could produce a route that showcases their area and concludes with a visit to their local pub.  One of the benefits being that Chosen One ^TM for the week gets a nice short ride home.  I'm happy to go first this Wednesday if folks like the idea.

 

I hope you all have fun this evening - sorry I won't be joining you. I'm on the train waiting to leave L'pool St feeling mildly better after getting on the outside of a pint bought for me by a colleague. It was a pint of larger but still hit the

Surely if you can manage a pint of kitten killer we should be seeing you at Spa Rd roundabout for 7.30! 

[huggy]

Surely if you can manage a pint of kitten killer we should be seeing you at Spa Rd roundabout for 7.30! 

Or in the Railway/Woolie at 9:30!!

[tedshred]

Yet again DL fails to come up with a ride report despite scurrying off after 1 pint with vague promises about catching the five am train to London and writing his report on the journey 

So I have no choice but to fill in the bits I missed.

A decent sized peloton comprising DL, AndyQuaffer, Tomsk, Huggy, GavinSSN, Sister Carol, the Beer Fuelled Commuter ("the BFN") and Oaky assembled at Spa and began an easy paced trundle circling various places east of Witham.  Under DL's expert stewardship it didn't take long for the group to lose GavinSSN at the top of TMNH.  The remainder pressed on with DL eager to reach Hurrells, missing GavinSSN by a matter of metres a couple of times as he forlornly searched for his riding mates.  When the group had dragged DL away from his favourite hobby area, they continued without GavinSSN based on DL's new "every man for himself" approach to group riding.

Huggy and Tomsk attempted the Ted duathlon at wedding ring ford but failed to record a swim.

Meanwhile Oaky and DL continued their tradition of time trialling the last section to the pub. Remarkably DL in his luminous Castelli skin suit managed to hold onto Oaky's (fixed) wheel.  On arrival at the Railway Tavern they were soon joined by the ever intrepid Ted who had managed without the CP shuttle and ridden all the way from home for once. 

The peloton moved swiftly on to the Woolpack to be greeted by the resident comedian asking "is it gay night ?".  Hey, welcome to the '70s everyone.

Once that rib tickling moment was over, we realised that the shadowy figure nursing a pint in the corner was none other than GavinSSN who had taken the sensible decision to bail and head for the pub.

No Name (awarded Quaffers Choice), Oscar Wilde Mild and Bishop Nick's 1505 (or something) were consumed and more brave plans were hatched for 2016.

It is my solemn duty to report that at this stage OD's, so far impeccable (  ) planning went awry.  By holding the more miles, local pub event in Witham first time around, the majority of the peloton were only minutes from home.  As the night wore on it gradually dawned on those of us that don't live in Witham that it was nearly midnight and we hadn't even left the pub.  I left Sister Carol in Tiptree just after 12.30 and we both made our way home along deserted roads arriving after 1am, which seemed late for a school night.  Now we know how Tomsk feels.

Sister Carol and I have no doubt that when the wheel turns and the venue is in Colchester or West Mersea, the Witham massive will continue this proud tradition...

All in all, another great night and let's keep hold of this mild weather for as long as we can.

[The Retiree]

Yet again DL fails to come up with a ride report despite scurrying off after 1 pint with vague promises about catching the five am train to London and writing his report on the journey 

So I have no choice but to fill in the bits I missed.

A decent sized peloton comprising DL, AndyQuaffer, Tomsk, Huggy, GavinSSN, Sister Carol, the Beer Fuelled Commuter ("the BFN") and Oaky assembled at Spa and began an easy paced trundle circling various places east of Witham.  Under DL's expert stewardship it didn't take long for the group to lose GavinSSN at the top of TMNH.  The remainder pressed on with DL eager to reach Hurrells, missing GavinSSN by a matter of metres a couple of times as he forlornly searched for his riding mates.  When the group had dragged DL away from his favourite hobby area, they continued without GavinSSN based on DL's new "every man for himself" approach to group riding.

Huggy and Tomsk attempted the Ted duathlon at wedding ring ford but failed to record a swim.

Meanwhile Oaky and DL continued their tradition of time trialling the last section to the pub. Remarkably DL in his luminous Castelli skin suit managed to hold onto Oaky's (fixed) wheel.  On arrival at the Railway Tavern they were soon joined by the ever intrepid Ted who had managed without the CP shuttle and ridden all the way from home for once. 

Apologies for the late submission on the ride report I thought this was now Ted's dpt seeing as he has MEMWNS branded attire these days (potential brown noser in the offing....) but seriously some of us do have work to partake in unlike Ted's off site (meaning pub) or courses (meaning golf course) daily meetings, how the other half live 

Also I see the prosecution has put their case forward so now it's time for the defence to have their say! Just to clear a few inaccuracies up from Ted's above report I believe the stewardship of last nights ride fell to Oaky and Huggy who both had the spaghetti route plugged into their Garmin devices and both myself and Huggy attempted to find SSN Giles Gavin once we realised he was no longer part of the peloton (little did we know he was partaking in MNH repeats with a new bunch of buddies he latched on to.....)
It seems Ted is more obessed with Hurrells than me (very worrying after yesterdays Cheryl Baker admissions!). Maybe speak to your bus shelter and drinking buddy about 'every man for himself' approach to MEMWNS riding as I am 'not guilty' ma lord 

Indeed myself and Oaky do enjoy a little Weds evening chaingang to stretch the legs before arriving at the chosen refreshment establishment 

Anyhow a healthy peloton of myself, Huggy, Oaky, SSN, BFC, Sister Carol and Andy C33 assembled at Spa without OD who had of course suggested this weeks new format and spaghetti route having cut out the unnecessary COR'ing through Fairstead we ploughed on towards TMNH whereby having made our ascent we lost SSN who had latched on to another group of Castelli clad riders doing hill repeats! 

As we came back into Church Lane we stumbled across the lights of Tomsk who joined the peloton so one lost but another gained, as we departed NH Oaky decided to make a break away from the main group which I managed to bridge resulting in us having a little chaingang on our way to The Woolpack.
Having arrived at The Railway Ted appeared after his motorpacing behind the CP shuttle pretending he was an expert on fixed a la Tomsk and Oaky 

The rest Ted has already covered so I won't bore you by repeating it all.......

An enjoyable evening all told even though my pub appearance was sadly very brief and the No Name home brew was very nice 

[Oaky]

 

ETA:  As I mentioned to a few last night,  I caught sight of a bunch of lights behind me and thought my solo breakaway had failed and I'd been caught by the entire group.  It was only a few minutes later that I realised it was only DL and his disco oil rig lighting setup.

[The Retiree]

ETA:  As I mentioned to a few last night,  I caught sight of a bunch of lights behind me and thought my solo breakaway had failed and I'd been caught by the entire group.  It was only a few minutes later that I realised it was only DL and his disco oil rig lighting setup.

I would be extremely concerned if I was ever knocked off during the hours of darkness as I believe it is fairly hard to miss me 

[Oscar's dad]

ETA:  As I mentioned to a few last night,  I caught sight of a bunch of lights behind me and thought my solo breakaway had failed and I'd been caught by the entire group.  It was only a few minutes later that I realised it was only DL and his disco oil rig lighting setup.

I would be extremely concerned if I was ever knocked off during the hours of darkness as I believe it is fairly hard to miss me 

If you do ever meet an unhappy end whilst riding at night it will more likely be an easyJet mistaking you for Stansted.

[tedshred]

It's like a Jean-Michel Jarre spectacular on wheels.

[Oscar's dad]

It's like a Jean-Michel Jarre spectacular on wheels.

I used to like him ... back in the late 70s / early 80s.

[huggy]

ETA:  As I mentioned to a few last night,  I caught sight of a bunch of lights behind me and thought my solo breakaway had failed and I'd been caught by the entire group.  It was only a few minutes later that I realised it was only DL and his disco oil rig lighting setup.

I would be extremely concerned if I was ever knocked off during the hours of darkness as I believe it is fairly hard to miss me 

If you do ever meet an unhappy end whilst riding at night it will more likely be an easyJet mistaking you for Stansted.

You can just see the rewritten headline of Helicopter crew suspension for landing on a cyclist in Essex overturned with the mistake being considered entirely understandable

[Oscar's dad]

 

I've said it before but we're fucking funny!

[The Retiree]

I used to like him ... back in the late 70s / early 80s.

I used to like Ted..... last year 

I've said it before but we're fucking funny!

Juries out on Ted though, some of his material is very dated!

[Oscar's dad]

Oh by the way, I'm making a bid to write the next Bond movie (an X-rated version in which bus shelters don't feature so no need to get excited Tomsk).  I have to say I'm quite pleased with myself  CLICKY

[The Retiree]

Oh by the way, I'm making a bid to write the next Bond movie (an X-rated version in which bus shelters don't feature so no need to get excited Tomsk).  I have to say I'm quite pleased with myself  CLICKY

An enthralling read OD I never knew you had it in you! Who would you cast as your Bond?

[tedshred]

You would be Oddjob from the Man with the Golden Gun.

[The Retiree]

You would be Oddjob from the Man with the Golden Gun.

Who are you talking to me or OD?

[Oscar's dad]

Oh by the way, I'm making a bid to write the next Bond movie (an X-rated version in which bus shelters don't feature so no need to get excited Tomsk).  I have to say I'm quite pleased with myself  CLICKY

An enthralling read OD I never knew you had it in you! Who would you cast as your Bond?

Riggers of course.  Never met the chap but he's a yacf legend after going through a phase of Photoshoping pipes onto people's photos.  He once Photoshoped a fist full of gentlemen's magazines onto a photo of me.

I'm no Bond expert but in our little world I'd cast as follows ...

M - Tomsk
Moneypenny - Sister Carol
Q - Oaky supported by huggy

I think the rest of you lot will be villains of some description.
 


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