Author Topic: Ladies, check your tights!!!  (Read 24538 times)

Kim

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    • Fediverse
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #50 on: 14 April, 2011, 10:41:57 pm »
I guess that's because women don't (IME) tend to compare notes about men where those men can read it!

I think there's a lot of truth in that.  Men seem to be less sensitive about it, and will happily have most (though I believe not all) blokey discussions where a minority of females are present.

Being bi, and having spent enough time in the sort of inclusive LGBT spaces where those sort of rules don't apply in quite the same way, it tends to be something that I don't really care about, but am vaguely aware that other people do.  I also tend to gravitate to the sort of environments that are dominated by geeky men, so my social norms aren't especially typical anyway.

Kim

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    • Fediverse
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #51 on: 14 April, 2011, 10:43:21 pm »
And discussions about things like Mooncups sends the guys running from threads in horror  ;D

To be fair, Mooncups send me running in horror.  Those things can have your eye out!

(I think the humour level around here is such that a mooncup thread *without* that sort of comment would just seem wrong.)

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #52 on: 14 April, 2011, 10:46:25 pm »
Some of the female yacfers are not into men anyway.

True, and not all of the men are into women either. I've had a few chuckles over some of Regulator's comments.

Quote
It is also generally considered bad form amongst females to make comments about guys who are married or taken. I think as a sex we also tend towards being tactful, and wouldn't want to say things that might make some of the guys here feel insulted (hairy backs notwithstanding).


 ???
Some men prefer blonds, others prefer brunettes, or redheads and so on. I can't see why women wouldn't prefer different traits in different men and dislike others that other women may prefer.
Still, I know pretty well nothing about how women think, so I'll take yourword for it.

Quote
Personally I don't think there is anything at all wrong in simply admiring things and people that are nice to look at :)

Same here. Just like with Regulator's comments, I like yours for the same reason. If you get yourself fit enough, you might be quick enough to have a perv at my rear end. :-* :P

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #53 on: 14 April, 2011, 10:50:34 pm »
I have noticed that there don't seem to be any threads from women about men that they might fancy and have thought it a bit odd.

I have occasionally felt like starting one, just to even the balance.

But then I realise that I'm basically rubbish at fancying men, and don't really know where to start.  I'm not all that much better at fancying women, tbh.   :-\

Why not start one? It'd get the ball rolling.
Start a thread about whatever floats your boat. Diversity is one of the best things about this forum.  It's more interesting for me to read about things I don't or maybe never will know about or experience for myself, even if I can't contribute.

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #54 on: 14 April, 2011, 10:58:30 pm »
So really, does this thread label me a pervert, or is it percieved as observational humour - which is the way it was intended?

It was more about questioning how someone can have so little awareness of their appearance. I guess I could have written about  "bats in the cave" as a parallel!

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #55 on: 14 April, 2011, 11:00:34 pm »
It was more about questioning how someone can have so little awareness of their appearance.

To be fair, in the absence of a Spaceballs-esque transporter malfunction, contrived use of mirrors, or someone willing to admit to looking, it's quite hard to know what your own arse looks like.


ETA: Or pooh sticks, of course.  That was surprisingly educational.

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #56 on: 14 April, 2011, 11:01:39 pm »
It is also generally considered bad form amongst females to make comments about guys who are married or taken. I think as a sex we also tend towards being tactful, and wouldn't want to say things that might make some of the guys here feel insulted (hairy backs notwithstanding).


 ???
Some men prefer blonds, others prefer brunettes, or redheads and so on. I can't see why women wouldn't prefer different traits in different men and dislike others that other women may prefer.
Still, I know pretty well nothing about how women think, so I'll take yourword for it.

Yeah I think we all have different preferences and tastes, however there are all kinds of reasons why I wouldn't come out with something like 'wow have you seen the size of XXXXyafer's packet' on the forum. Mainly because you never know, xxxx might be offended, their wife might read it and go ballistic, or even worse the other guys might then feel inadequate, and I don't think women really like to make anyone feel bad about themselves, however innocently a comment was meant. Some of us were also raised not to say 'unladylike' things. I don't suffer from such hangups myself and am more likely to fit into the TMI category. Some of the guys I ride with have taken a while to get used to the fact they cannot offend me and they can still talk about blokey things within earshot because I am an honorary bloke  :D

Personally I don't think there is anything at all wrong in simply admiring things and people that are nice to look at :)

Same here. Just like with Regulator's comments, I like yours for the same reason. If you get yourself fit enough, you might be quick enough to have a perv at my rear end. :-* :P


I think I will be very lucky to catch a glimpse of your red Lusso-clad rear as you disappear over the horizon  ;D

iakobski

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #57 on: 14 April, 2011, 11:13:48 pm »
Lycra is amazing stuff, like neoprene it can stretch a huge amount.

But the more you stretch it the thinner it gets, that's common sense.

So if you stretch it over your arse, then get on a bike and bend forwards, you stretch it again, it just gets thinner and more transparent. If you don't want to show your pants/bum to the world, buy the right size in the first place.

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #58 on: 14 April, 2011, 11:26:19 pm »
Yeah I think we all have different preferences and tastes, however there are all kinds of reasons why I wouldn't come out with something like 'wow have you seen the size of XXXXyafer's packet' on the forum. Mainly because you never know, xxxx might be offended,

I think that most men are the same. I wouldn't comment about a lady in front of women, but would to other men. I certainly wouldn't comment on the internet about it, unless I was sure that it wouldn't offend. It's a bit different when it's someone famous though and in the public domain, such as V Pendleton. I also tend not to swear in front of women, unless I know it won't offend them. Most men seem the same and do tend to "behave themselves," or at least think they do in front of women , but you always get the "Wa-hey missus" type. Even so, you get a few women like that too, allthough probably much less so.
I think that women do tend to be more tactfull than men, but most men are still probably more tactfull than women give us credit for because of the few that aren't. I think a lot of it is cultural. A hangover from the past when women were seen but not heard.

In general, people don't intend to offend, whether they are male or female.

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #59 on: 14 April, 2011, 11:28:06 pm »
Lycra is amazing stuff, like neoprene it can stretch a huge amount.

But the more you stretch it the thinner it gets, that's common sense.

So if you stretch it over your arse, then get on a bike and bend forwards, you stretch it again, it just gets thinner and more transparent. If you don't want to show your pants/bum to the world, buy the right size in the first place.

Reminds me of the man who went to the doctor wearing only underpants made of cling film. The doctor takes a look at him and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #60 on: 14 April, 2011, 11:39:18 pm »
It was more about questioning how someone can have so little awareness of their appearance.

To be fair, in the absence of a Spaceballs-esque transporter malfunction, contrived use of mirrors, or someone willing to admit to looking, it's quite hard to know what your own arse looks like.


ETA: Or pooh sticks, of course.  That was surprisingly educational.

Two lovely ladies in frame and I take a photo that flatters Rowan's arse  :facepalm:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #61 on: 14 April, 2011, 11:44:27 pm »
Lycra is amazing stuff, like neoprene it can stretch a huge amount.

But the more you stretch it the thinner it gets, that's common sense.

So if you stretch it over your arse, then get on a bike and bend forwards, you stretch it again, it just gets thinner and more transparent. If you don't want to show your pants/bum to the world, buy the right size in the first place.

Reminds me of the man who went to the doctor wearing only underpants made of cling film. The doctor takes a look at him and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

Taxi for Mr teethgrinder .....

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #62 on: 15 April, 2011, 08:22:36 am »
It's a bit different when it's someone famous though and in the public domain, such as V Pendleton.
necause,once,a,woman,necomes,known,to,the,punlic,her,appearance,necomes,punlic,property,to,ne,discussed,and,judged/,necause,no,matter,how,successful,a,woman,is,the,
only,thing,that,really,matters,is,how,she,looks/

my,question,marks,are,currently,coming,out,as,/
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #63 on: 15 April, 2011, 09:25:36 am »
Practical question:  How can you know if you stand a chance of offending public decency?  Does one need a brutally honest partner every time I one gets dressed?
Getting there...

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #64 on: 15 April, 2011, 10:37:32 am »
Practical question:  How can you know if you stand a chance of offending public decency?  Does one need a brutally honest partner every time I one gets dressed?

I have one. She  looks at me, laughs, and I go out anyway.  Sometimes in cycling gear.
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #65 on: 15 April, 2011, 10:54:04 am »

I have noticed that there don't seem to be any threads from women about men that they might fancy and have thought it a bit odd.


...
Though the geek totty borderline boilers (what does that even mean?) thread's been fairly universal - even if most of the contributions have been from men, I reckon that's just reflecting the demographic.


For the record, I don't think this place excludes women.  There have been all manner of women-specific threads, and plenty of positive contributions to them from women and men alike.  Indeed, it was a rather frank discussion about shorts and sore labia that endeared me to YACF in the first place.  It's just that there are rather a lot of men, and as such it gets a bit blokey at times.
What a jolly sensible post  :thumbsup:

For a girl, anyway
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #66 on: 15 April, 2011, 05:04:38 pm »
It's a bit different when it's someone famous though and in the public domain, such as V Pendleton.
necause,once,a,woman,necomes,known,to,the,punlic,her,appearance,necomes,punlic,property,to,ne,discussed,and,judged/,necause,no,matter,how,successful,a,woman,is,the,
only,thing,that,really,matters,is,how,she,looks/

my,question,marks,are,currently,coming,out,as,/

Not quite how I see it. I like to see pretty ladies as much as the next straight man does. From what I've read from Regulator, I reckon he likes to see nice men too.
I personally would be wary of complimenting a stranger, because I don't want to offend or have them living in fear of a potential local perv.
Those in the public eye are noticed by all. If I talk about them in private, just as I might comment on how a lady looks with my friends, then I'm unlikely to offend or upset anyone. If I knew that complementing a pretty lady would make them happy instead of offending or upsetting them, then I'd do it. I don't care if they are single or not, it's a compliment on the way they look because I like it and intended to spread good cheer. Just as I'd compliment anyone for anything else.
Also, for the famous, it goes with the territory that they are talked about. Talking about the way they look seems a bit shallow to me when it's media headlines, unless they are famous for the way they look. I guess a lot of it is padding when there's not much going on. I never bother reading that garbage myself, I know what I like. Victoria Pendleton is an attractive woman, is it wrong for me to notice? I certainly don't think it's the only thing that matters though. I think much more of her as a cyclist than a centrefold. Beryl Burton has to be one of my all time favourite cyclists and I don't rate the way she looked at all, so yes, I've noticed the way she looked too, am I a bad man? Bloody amazing cyclist though and I rate her much more highly than Victoria Pendleton. It's just that people do notice the way that other people look. I judge people by much more than the way they look. After all, if I judged people by looks, I'd have a very low opinion of myself.
I've heard many women swooning over George Michael, Russel Crowe and Brad Pitt. I can't find fault with women finding men (or women) attractive and talking about that either. Linford Christie was popular when he won Olympic Gold and it was reputed that many women requested a playback of him in action, winning gold. Little Linford swinging in his shorts and all.

ravenbait

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #67 on: 15 April, 2011, 05:17:41 pm »
The blokishness of fora is something I've felt obliged to blog about recently I became so annoyed about it.

I understand the point of the OP and haven't felt any particular desire to contribute until I read Kirst's posts. I have reached such a point of over-exposure to "Hur hur hur" type threads (not here, haven't been here long enough) that I can't actually read them with feeling TEH RAGE coming on.

I have no issue with people finding other people attractive, no matter what sex or gender any of the various parties happens to be. I just get tired and bored of the tendency for threads about women (again somewhere else, although I'm doing my best to stop it, with some success) to devolve to tits and bums.

Sam

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #68 on: 15 April, 2011, 07:04:28 pm »
Re: La Pendleton

She has chosen to make money out of how she looks in her undies. This puts her in a completely different category to just being a woman who makes a living in a public sphere.

That does not, of course, justify anything one might say about her, but it makes some comments about her appearance fair game.

(I'd say the same about geezers - although I tend not to notice them as much. It's not very nice to comment that John RandomActor/Sportsman/Politician has a fat arse unless he has chosen to make a big thing about his appearance already.)
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #69 on: 15 April, 2011, 07:57:44 pm »
of,course,there.s,nothing,wrong,with,people,finding,other,people,attractife.,if,that,didn.t,happen,the,human,race,would,die,out.,
and,if,anyone,might,suggest,that,that.s,what,i.m,saying,rather,than,paying,attention,to,what,i,actually,am,saying,then,that
could,ne,taken,as,another,example,of,a,woman.s,complaint,anout,men.s,nehafiour,neing,trifialised,ignored,and,represented,as,neing
more,extreme,than,it,really,is,for,purposes,of,ridiculing,it.,look,there.s,a,woman,complaining,anout,umpteen,threads,onjectifying,
women.,ofiously,that,means,she,thinks,nonody,should,efer,find,anyone,attractife., ::-)

nonody,has,said,nonody,should,find,anyone,else,attractife.,what,i,hafe,said,is,that,this,forum,has,already,had,a,couple,of,discussions
anout,laddishishness,creating,uncomfortanle,online,enfironments,for,many,women,and,yet,it,continues,in,the,only-efer-onjectifying-
women,threads,like,the,mark,cafendish,girlfried,one,and,the,numerous,other,ones,which,end,up,that,way.,
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #70 on: 15 April, 2011, 08:20:10 pm »
Can I just say, Kirst, that it astonishes me slightly that you manage to make your point so well even when you don't have the entire alphabet at your disposal?

I find this place, on the whole, less 'laddish' and so on than many other places.  Occasionally there are threads that make me   :-\ or >:( 

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #71 on: 15 April, 2011, 10:18:02 pm »
Sorry Kirst.
But laddish comments such as, "Cor blimey, I'd give 'er one" are born of attraction, are they not? I've yet to hear similar comments with regards to a woman considered to be unnatractive by the individual, unless said in irony. Laddishness, IMO, is a vulgar way of expressing attraction. This is why I wrote about physical attraction. More sophisticated folk express their feelings more eloquently and without causing offence. So I conclude that you're unhappy with the manner in which some express their attraction to women. Or am I wrong about that?
 
Nonetheless, it's the way some folk behave. If it is offensive, which I can understand, then isn't it a failing of our moderators that we have offensive material on this fine forum? I haven't read most (Don't think I've read any actually) of the laddish threads you've referred to, ICBA with that, I'm not interested. But hey, some folk seem to like it.YMMV It's not unlikely that you are much better informed about laddishness on this forum than I am, given that I never bother to read it. So perhaps what I say above will be irrelevent?

I haven't read the discussions about laddish behavior either, so I suppose I could go on about it, but I doubt I'd say anything original.

As Kim suggested earlier, why not start a female equivolent of a laddish thread? Perhaps it's as Feline said, that women are much less that way inclined, if at all.
YACF is a broad church and it takes allsorts. The trick is to keep it inclusive, but to keep it inclusive there's a fine balance between what will attract more people than it repels. I think it'd be a shame to exclude people for being laddish. On the other hand, it'd be a great shame to lose or discourage those that find it offensive.
Judging by this thread, laddishness seems to me, to be a substantial issue and rather repulsive to some.


I was merely asking why men are more likely to be percieved to be pervy if they inform a lady of her threadbare attire.
NSTN pointed out that she noticed many more pervy remaks from men than from women. Those pervy remarks were then said to be in the (vulgar) form of laddishness and was substantiated by a case load of evidence. I did point out that this is a male dominated forum, which may account for this, but this was pretty well ignored, Fair enough, I'd guess not anyway, but I think it would magnify it.
So, am I to take it that because of laddish behavior, some (not all O:-))women tend to stereotype men as pervy?
It seems logical. I'm very wary of people driving their cars because of the few bad apples and tend to regard them all as a threat. Men can be evil to women, so it's unsurprising that some women see all men as a potential threat too.
Not experiencing life as a female myself, I reckon that females are far better placed to answer that question than I am.

What is alexb to do?
If he tells a lady about her waffer theen clothing, will he be branded a villainous perv because of the laddish behavior of others or hailed as a hero for helping a lady to maintain her dignity?

Personally, I'd keep shtum and laugh at someone bearing their bum.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #72 on: 16 April, 2011, 10:49:29 am »

As Kim suggested earlier, why not start a female equivolent of a laddish thread?
i,can.t,ne,nothered,to,respond,to,your,whole,post,while,my,keynoard,is,still,fuckered,so,i.ll,just,respond,to,this,nit,for,now.,


i,can.t,speak,for,the,other,women,nut,it,would,nefer,occur,to,me,to,start,a,thread,for,the,purposes,of,judging,men.s,appearances.,i,find,lots,of,men,attractife,-,and,one,woman,-,nut,i,hafe,ansolutely,no,desire,to,discuss,the,sixe,of,their,chests,or,the,set,of,their,eyes,or,how,dirty,they,might,ne
in,ned.,and,i,certainly,wouldn.t,do,it,on,a,forum,dedicated,to,a,predominantly,female,pasttime,where,it,was,widely,acknowledged,that,more,men,
would,ne,a,good,thing,for,the,pasttime,and,that,the,attitudes,of,some,women,was,a,deterrent,to,men,joining,in.,
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


redshift

  • High Priestess of wires
    • redshift home
Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #73 on: 16 April, 2011, 11:36:39 am »
Long ago, when Becky (of this parish) and I were having an IM chat, the subject came up, and I said something like "I'ts not that I find it offensive, it's just dull." That's still largely true.  By the time I've read a thread and it's gone from 'making a few good points' to 'dull bloke-jokes about tits and arses' I usually can't be bothered reading it much further.  It's not very interesting to hear, yet again, that blokes like looking at women's backsides, or that such-and-such a woman is fit/gives you the heaves.  FFS, why not have the originality to find something worth talking about? 

Not that P&OBI is any better, mind...  ::-)
L
:)
Windcheetah No. 176
The all-round entertainer gets quite arsey,
They won't translate his lame shit into Farsi
Somehow to let it go would be more classy…

Re: Ladies, check your tights!!!
« Reply #74 on: 16 April, 2011, 11:58:50 am »

So, am I to take it that because of laddish behavior, some (not all O:-))women tend to stereotype men as pervy?
It seems logical. I'm very wary of people driving their cars because of the few bad apples and tend to regard them all as a threat. Men can be evil to women, so it's unsurprising that some women see all men as a potential threat too.
Not experiencing life as a female myself, I reckon that females are far better placed to answer that question than I am.

What is alexb to do?
If he tells a lady about her waffer theen clothing, will he be branded a villainous perv because of the laddish behavior of others or hailed as a hero for helping a lady to maintain her dignity?

Personally, I'd keep shtum and laugh at someone bearing their bum.

I don't think it's a simple 2 way division of male v female opinions and attitudes. I reckon there are a good few men on this forum who stop reading and posting in threads that descend into laddish chit chat. And there is at least one female here that isn't really bothered at all by those discussions and doesn't take any offence. If I get bored of a thread I just stop reading it. There are many threads here I chose not to read because I know the topic is of no interest to me or is likely to piss me off.

This forum has a really wide range of topics only a fraction of which include cycling and I think that is one of the good things about it. If the only boards were The Knowledge and Audax ones then I would probably visit the forum maybe once a week rather than every day. I find it interesting reading other people's views on things, and often informative. You get an insight into other people's lives here rather like a real life soap opera. When threads descend into slanging matches occasionally I sometimes find even that amusing to watch in a freak-show kind of way, and it reminds me to try and keep my temper out in the real world lest I end up sounding like I am a 9 year old arguing in the school playground too  ;D

I think alexb is in a no-win situation with regards to the OP. The messenger is often the one to get shot! When I see the stuff my daughter and her friends wear when they know exactly what their outfit looks like from all angles, I would be surprised if many of the female cyclists with hearts on their knickers actually care if anyone can see them. You would not necessarily be doing them a favour by pointing it out to them, ignorance is bliss and all that, if they did care then they would then be embarrassed. I reckon it would be a safer option just to admire the view and let their friends and work colleagues worry about telling them they can see their arse  ;D

Maybe it's just me, but life is short and sometimes tough, and if someone can get any enjoyment out of looking at my lycra clad arse then they are quite welcome to ride behind me .... but there are much better looking and faster moving arses out there to draft behind  ;D