If you could remove sports from the Olympics...

[librarian]

From the list on the 2008 Olympics site, and obviously to be taken with a great deal of sober seriousness and gravitas:

Archery [abstracted violence left in for the sake of inconsistency; see below]
Athletics [everything except race-walking, just because it looks really painful]
Badminton [silly; therefore stays]
Baseball [boring team sport]
Basketball [boring team sport]
Beach Volleyball [boring team sport]
Boxing [pointless violence]
Canoe/Kayak Flatwater
Canoe/Kayak Slalom [real rivers only]
Cycling BMX
Cycling Mountain Bike
Cycling Road
Cycling Track
Diving [subjective]
Equestrian [subjective]
Fencing [poncy violence]
Football [boring team sport]
Gymnastics Artistic [subjective]
Gymnastics Rhythmic [do you really need to ask?]
Trampoline [I had no idea this was an Olympic sport]
Handball [see previous]
Hockey [boring team sport]
Judo [see Taekwando; must achieve Japan-Korea parity]
Modern Pentathlon [neigh]
Rowing
Sailing
Shooting
Softball
Swimming
Synchronized Swimming [see Gymnastics Rhythmic]
Table Tennis [what’s next, pinball?]
Taekwondo [probably subjective]
Tennis [boring, but must have one terrestrial ball-hitting sport]
Triathlon
Volleyball [boring team sport]
Water Polo [insert horse joke here]
Weightlifting [yawn]
Wrestling [pointless violence]


FWIW, I once told Robyn that I only like sports that require a map.