The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[TheLurker]

The new Guardian website. Ugh.

Judging by the comments on their site I appear to be the only person in the world that thinks it's an improvement. The level of bile is quite astonishing. The level of stupidity is, however, unsurprising. I got accused of being in the pay of the Guardian (I wish) for daring to have a view opposed to the majority.

I've given up trying to use the Grauniad's website as unnavigable.  Black text on a white ground is what I want not a not a mess of arbitrarily sized coloured kiddy-bricks with _allegedly_ contrasting text in varying point sizes.  It's bad enough with middle-aged presbyopia but $DEITY help anyone with colour perception problems.  I've had to resort to the Torygraph and the Independent neither of which are really to my taste, but at least I can get a readable list of headlines from them.

[Biggsy]

Thanks to my coworker deciding to come in ill and spread it around during the week, I'm now suffering from some sort of flu (temperature, running nose, cough, irritated throat, headache feeling zonked out). I had planned a nice ride this afternoon after singing (or at least trying to sing) at a funeral, but I'm off to bed instead

Sounds like what I've got, in which case you're probably in for a week of it 

I appear to be over the fatigue part of it, but still have the sore throat.

I seem to have caught your lurgy over the internet!  My throat is so sore that I can't swallow my saliva.

[mcshroom]

Thanks to my coworker deciding to come in ill and spread it around during the week, I'm now suffering from some sort of flu (temperature, running nose, cough, irritated throat, headache feeling zonked out). I had planned a nice ride this afternoon after singing (or at least trying to sing) at a funeral, but I'm off to bed instead

Sounds like what I've got, in which case you're probably in for a week of it 

I appear to be over the fatigue part of it, but still have the sore throat.

I seem to have caught your lurgy over the internet!  My throat is so sore that I can't swallow my saliva.

My throat is just starting to feel normal again (though tender). Still running a temperature though. Of course it's been brilliant sunshine here all weekend with very little wind. I've been waiting for cycling weather like that for months

I've been treating with a regular dose of Lemsip or straight Paracetamol and Strepsils, along with plenty of tea and coffee. Plus lots of bed rest

[fuzzy]

<SNIP>

No contact from the garage yesterday so I phone them at 4:15 p.m. "Funny you should phone" says FAD, "Your car Babbage Engine has spoken with the Mother Ship Babbage Engine (MSBE) and the MSBE Minions (MSBEM) have sent us a request for further checks- 39 pages of system checks on BCU's, anbaric string connections, resistance etc."

"Am I building up a tab here?" I asks.

"Hang on a mo" says FAD. he returns a little while later to say "If the fault is linked to the work we have done, that will be free. If it isn't, it will be another £114."

"Now wait just one cotton picking moment Hoss" says I. "I have already spent over £600 to be in exactly the same position as I was before I dropped the car off for repair and you might want more money?"

The saga continues.

Dr John sez they've fucked up. They just don't want to admit it.

Dust off and nuke from orbit etc.

As the owner of a series of LR Discoverys, which have more ECUs than anything else in the universe, I feel the pain.

Garages can only do diagnostics to a certain level.
"Fault code says blah. We need to replace the XXX at a cost of £XXX".
OK.

But it doesn't fix the problem.
Back a week later with the same issue.
Replace something different.

Can you put back the expensive thing you swapped last week, and refund me?
"No."

There's no *real* fault finding.
Just guessing ( at your expense ).

Phoned the garage again on Friday- despite them promising to phone me. Having completed the 39 pages of tests suggested by Mazda central, they are no further forward in telling me what the problem is. Now waiting to speak to an Anbaric Systems Wizard at Mazda Central who won't be in till today

Just had ANOTHER call from the garage. Further guided investigation indicates a failure in another body control module type thing. replacement of this will be a further £558. Over a thousand pounds because some fucking blinking lights misbehave

I suggested that maybe the original module change was not required but no, Mazda Babbage Engine suggests that the two modules were fucking with each other and both need changing.

I fucking HATE cars.

So, the part needs to be paid for in advance- £464.85. Purchased.
2 days for part to arrive.
Part fitted and test driven.
All seems to be OK.
Bill settled over the phone. I'm expecting £557.82 minus £464.85 = £92.97. WRONG. Labour quote did not include VAT. Bastards

So, I've got the car back and so far the blinkenlights aren't. Result. I also have a little tin of complimentary sweets and this-







You couldn't make it up.

[Kim]

Someone's stuck a fiddypee to your car!

[Torslanda]

No mercy!

Time to unleash Mrs. Fuzzy . . .

[Biggsy]

"Extra Strength" Strepsils are doing bugger all for my throat. 

I'm feeling a right wally for not getting a flu jab now, though I've probably just got the start of man flu, not real flu.

[CAMRAMan]

Picasso was French, was he, quizmaster?

[ian]

The new Guardian website. Ugh.

Judging by the comments on their site I appear to be the only person in the world that thinks it's an improvement. The level of bile is quite astonishing. The level of stupidity is, however, unsurprising. I got accused of being in the pay of the Guardian (I wish) for daring to have a view opposed to the majority.

I like it and think it's a vast improvement. I expect the majority of people who view it probably like it. But like with any change, there's a small vociferous minority who don't like it. It's probably even worse for Guardian readers, after all a good proportion of them are inalienably and indubitably correct about everything.

[nicknack]

Good. Not just me then.
The air was thick with dummies being spat out and toys hurled out of prams.

[ian]

I wish any newspaper would drop the comments sections. As a single thing of significance ever been said below the line? No. Be nice if a newspaper had the balls to say it.

And while they're at it: Twitter is a not meaningful measure of anything. At best, about a fifth of population have an account, far fewer are active, and those who do Tweet are a completely unrepresentative demographic of anything other than other Twitter users. And oh, Twitter is an Insignificance Engine, designed to amplify a signal out of the babble. Trending is not fucking news.

I feel better now.

[mcshroom]

Still can't shake this bug. I thought I was feeling a bit better this afternoon and went out in the car to buy some bike cleaning stuff (yes I'm that bored). Between that and getting a few phone pics of the snow and a bridge I've upset my lungs with the cold air and have spent most of the evening feeling wiped out and crap. Grrr

[andrewc]

Stay warm,  get plenty of sleep & drink lots of tea.     I found that the occasional single malt helped raise my mood as well.....

It hit me on a Wednesday in work when I found I couldn't talk.  Thursday through Sunday were spent hibernating.    I went into work on Monday which was a mistake, as I still felt crap & spent the rest of that week trying to stay awake during the day & crashing out as soon as I got home.   It wasn't until the weekend that I felt up to doing anything like a short bike ride.

About 10 days of crappiness in total 

[mcshroom]

Yeah I've come to work this morning (by car) - not sure it was the best idea

Everyone's going to have to put up with all communication by email/ the rubbish Notes IM client. Phone calls just aren't going to be comfortable.

[Mr Larrington]

Shopping is a less tedious experience when you don't get 2/3 of the way round the horriblemarket before discovering that you have left your wallet at home

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

Applying for a savings product I got to the bit near the end where I was asked to download a form.  It then fell over, ending my logged on session.  My subsequent frantic efforts to log back on resulted in my being locked out and given a phone no to get new security number.  None of the options matched that need so just called the nearest one. 

After going through all the security questions ok they confirmed I needed to complete the form and I asked if they would send it.  They refused saying I hadn't got a valid security number.  They eventually arranged to send me a new number but I would have to phone when I'd got it and then I could have the form sent. 

Fortunately I have a mobile app that exempts me from 0845 number charges.

[Basil]

I'm in the pub, 'cos it's the end of the week (if you ignore a couple of hours tomorrow morning)
I just popped into the chippy next door.
"What time do you close?"
"10 o'clock"
"OK, can I order Haddock and chips for 10 o'clock?"
"Could you come in a bit earlier?"
" OK, what time do you actually close? "
"10 o'clock, will you pay now?"

[T42]

Back when closing time in Scotland was 10 pm the Edinburgh corporation, with malice aforethought, closed all the public loos in Princes St. at exactly 10 pm as well.

[T42]

Not my grumble, the missus's grumble:

She's a French-English translator. Yesterday she received a doc to proof-read. Client: "There's no French original, but the English is pretty good, shouldn't need many corrections".  Sample:

The control of level deburring tank into 3 thresholds is treated like described after :

·         The deburring level is situed between high level « NI_HA_CAT » and low level « NI_BA_CAT » of tank. So if level is insufficient ( below of low level) solenoid “EV_VID_CAT” will be closed for allows increase level. If the level is situed to low level of background cabin “NI_BA_LF”, Solenoid “EV_REMP_AUTO” opens for given fluid necessary.

·         The maintenance level « NI_MA_CAT » of tank by maintenance mode (Nozzle change mode) allows to reduce fluid level until a good level for change high pressure nozzle. This level is condition of safety feeding pump.

Doesn't need many corrections, just euthanasia.

[matthew]

Not my grumble, the missus's grumble:

She's a French-English translator. Yesterday she received a doc to proof-read. Client: "There's no French original, but the English is pretty good, shouldn't need many corrections".  Sample:

The control of level deburring tank into 3 thresholds is treated like described after :

·         The deburring level is situed between high level « NI_HA_CAT » and low level « NI_BA_CAT » of tank. So if level is insufficient ( below of low level) solenoid “EV_VID_CAT” will be closed for allows increase level. If the level is situed to low level of background cabin “NI_BA_LF”, Solenoid “EV_REMP_AUTO” opens for given fluid necessary.

·         The maintenance level « NI_MA_CAT » of tank by maintenance mode (Nozzle change mode) allows to reduce fluid level until a good level for change high pressure nozzle. This level is condition of safety feeding pump.

Doesn't need many corrections, just euthanasia.

I can think of some UK engineers who would try to pass that off, until a native English speaker on the project like me gets to it. 

[ian]

Is there some weird reason why English chippies close at some bastardly early hour to leave the late night desert of rat-chicken, kebabery, and other sundry grease-loaded takeaway options? I don't eat fish and chips often, but on the few times I've tried for a traditional fish and chips, they're always closed (the one near here does linger till 10pm). Not a problem I had in Edinburgh, but I swear when I lived in Sheffield they used to be closed up by 8pm.

[T42]

Not my grumble, the missus's grumble:

She's a French-English translator. Yesterday she received a doc to proof-read. Client: "There's no French original, but the English is pretty good, shouldn't need many corrections".  Sample:

The control of level deburring tank into 3 thresholds is treated like described after :

·         The deburring level is situed between high level « NI_HA_CAT » and low level « NI_BA_CAT » of tank. So if level is insufficient ( below of low level) solenoid “EV_VID_CAT” will be closed for allows increase level. If the level is situed to low level of background cabin “NI_BA_LF”, Solenoid “EV_REMP_AUTO” opens for given fluid necessary.

·         The maintenance level « NI_MA_CAT » of tank by maintenance mode (Nozzle change mode) allows to reduce fluid level until a good level for change high pressure nozzle. This level is condition of safety feeding pump.

Doesn't need many corrections, just euthanasia.

I can think of some UK engineers who would try to pass that off, until a native English speaker on the project like me gets to it. 

Trying to work out why "UK engineers" should not be "native English speakers".

FWIW it got worse later on. Missus was practically tearing her hair out by offknock time.

[barakta]

The nice chippy in Crookes always closed at sensible times, I only ever bought chips there once - leaving us at the mercy of the less-nice one with the creepy man who used to say stuff like "you like hot fish?" in a leery way...

[matthew]

Not my grumble, the missus's grumble:

She's a French-English translator. Yesterday she received a doc to proof-read. Client: "There's no French original, but the English is pretty good, shouldn't need many corrections".  Sample:

The control of level deburring tank into 3 thresholds is treated like described after :

·         The deburring level is situed between high level « NI_HA_CAT » and low level « NI_BA_CAT » of tank. So if level is insufficient ( below of low level) solenoid “EV_VID_CAT” will be closed for allows increase level. If the level is situed to low level of background cabin “NI_BA_LF”, Solenoid “EV_REMP_AUTO” opens for given fluid necessary.

·         The maintenance level « NI_MA_CAT » of tank by maintenance mode (Nozzle change mode) allows to reduce fluid level until a good level for change high pressure nozzle. This level is condition of safety feeding pump.

Doesn't need many corrections, just euthanasia.

I can think of some UK engineers who would try to pass that off, until a native English speaker on the project like me gets to it. 

Trying to work out why "UK engineers" should not be "native English speakers".

FWIW it got worse later on. Missus was practically tearing her hair out by offknock time.

Engineering is an international career, not all engineers based in and working from an office in the UK were either born here or have English as their first language. Most are not a problem, there are a few I have worked with in the past though where correcting the grammar was the first part of checking the report and the technical details came second.

I have worked with people from Europe, Africa, Russia, India, South America ... plus other countries that while not the UK would claim their first language to be 'English'

[Kim]

The nice chippy in Crookes always closed at sensible times, I only ever bought chips there once - leaving us at the mercy of the less-nice one with the creepy man who used to say stuff like "you like hot fish?" in a leery way...

The creepy hot fish man chipshop had fantastic chips though.  That's why we put up with his pervy comments^[1] and eccentric opening hours (chippy closing for lunch ffs!).  I expect they closed him down in the end for making false advertising claims about the effects of King Edwards in the treatment of erectile dysfunction.

You're thinking of the Broomhill Friery, which scored highly for opening hours and consistency, but the chips weren't anything special.

The less said about the Northern Soul the better...


_{[1] Which were genuinely entertaining up until he worked out who the couples were in our regular group of 4...}