The computing stuff rant thread

[ian]

I did finally clear the crud from the parental laptop. Mostly perspiration, I threw every malware and security app at the problem until it worked. Something called Hitman Pro and the Trend online scanner seemed to do the final trick. It now comes up clean. Let's see how long it takes for that to change.

I did clear the browsing history because there's some things I don't want to know and I'm pretty sure there's only one place you can get that much malware delivered direct to your desktop. Sadly, I neglected to clear the bookmark bar on the basis he might have had something useful saved there. Now, I can't delete the cache in my head. Dad, really, at your age. Still, it was age-appropriate 'mature p0rn'.

[barakta]

I once had to clear off dadp0rn off a machine being given to his dad.  We had forgotten to delete some of it and had to concoct an excuse for me to distract him while my ex did porn deletion duty...  Dear parents, hide your pr0n better, no love, nerdy kids.

[hulver]

Windows 8.1. Oh dear.

I was expecting a bit of culture shock. I know it's going to be different from Windows 7. I expected that.

So, shiney new tablet running Windows 8.1.

First experience, setting up a user when you first turn the thing on. Nice screens guiding you through the process. You MUST create a microsoft account to create a new user. Grrr.
Put nice secure (PITA to type in) password onto account, as it's accessible online.

Wake machine up. Need to enter password. GRRRR! Everytime! WTSF!

Look online for way to turn off "Enter password on unlock" option. Can't find one. Only online solution that looks like it might work involves the command line (Come on MS, are you taking the piss now). I run the command, which shows a standard windows user management screen, which pops up a dialog box "This tool doesn't work in Windows 8.1, please use the user configuration screen in PC settings", which I looked at first and doesn't give anyway to turn off the requirement to enter a password on unlock.

Finally create another user account, and creating it this way allows me to do it without joining it to a MS online account, so I can unlock the thing without a password. Of course, most of the widgets on the "Start screen" require an MS account to work...

Still, a minor annoyance I think, just part of the setting up process and getting used to a whole new system.

Start using the thing. Nice screen. Install chrome on it, works well. Start typing something on a web site. On screen keyboard is shockingly bad. I'm so used to swype on Android, that a Keyboard so basic it doesn't even auto-capitilise the first letter of a new sentence seems so primitive. Absolutely no auto-correct at all.

See somewhere online that suggests Windows 8.1 does auto-suggest correct spelling. Can't find anywhere to change keyboard settings.

Manage to shutdown the thing by accident somehow, as a screen popped up saying "are you sure you want to shutdown? Swipe to continue". I swipe the opposite way to the way the arrow is pointing and the thing shuts down.

Start it up again and try and look for keyboard settings. Find the control panel (swipe in from the right hand side of the screen, of course!) but the only entries I can find are for the standard Windows keyboard controls (how long you press a key before it repeats) which requires a physical keyboard, or the accessability controls, which are nothing to do with the touch screen keyboard.

Try and look for anything, can't find it.

Very, very frustrating experience. Stuff isn't easy to find. Even googling and following screenshots often doesn't work, as stuff seems to move around and not be where it should be.

Having something so frustrating in such an easily lobable format is very dangerous.

I've used everything from Dos version 3 (different config.sys & autoexec.bat files for different programs to make the most of the available memory) through windows 3.0, 3.1, 95, 98, 2000, XP, 7. Linux versions from Slackware floppy sets, through redhat, debian, ubuntu, that one you compile from source that I can't remember the name of, many different versions. I found setting up a mixture of debian packages and compiled from source applications less frustrating than trying to use Windows 8.

[Mr Larrington]

And all this "Libraries" stuff.  Real operating systems have a file in one place, and one place only.  Come to that, real libraries have books in one place and one place only, unless they're in West Suffolk and file John Grisham novels under "Legal" instead of "Fiction".

[Zipperhead]

I did clear the browsing history because there's some things I don't want to know and I'm pretty sure there's only one place you can get that much malware delivered direct to your desktop. Sadly, I neglected to clear the bookmark bar on the basis he might have had something useful saved there. Now, I can't delete the cache in my head. Dad, really, at your age. Still, it was age-appropriate 'mature p0rn'.

http://amateurgilfs.com ?

[David Martin]

Virgin Media. Please to be replacing cheese straws with the fibre that used to be there.

Then I can gat a stabel connection rather than one which drops and times out.

[David Martin]

Ah, apparently it might be my not so super-hub because the phonedroid could not connect to it via the internot. So a real technician has an appointment to not turn up tomorrow.

[Mr Larrington]

Dear Babbage-Engine,

Here is what you are supposed to do when I click "Hibernate": go sleepy-byes.

Here is what you are not supposed to do when I click "Hibernate": start playing Back In Black.

I can only assume that Finestre, the Demon of Such Things, is a closet AC/DC fan.

Now, would you kindly restart?

kthxbai

[tonycollinet]

It doesn't help that my parents don't speak computer, so lots of conversations like this

"There's something on the screen."
"What's a something?"
"Java something?"
"A dialogue box?"
"?"
"A square box. It should have some text about Java and some buttons."
"Yes, it says Java."
"But what does it say?"
"Something about Java and some numbers."
"Could you just read what it says to me?"
"I just clicked the OK button."

ArrrrrggggggghHHHHHHHHH. This after I'd specifically told them to stop clicking OK and Next on everything that pops up.

Bin there, done that, bought the t-shirt....in triplicate....complete with the artfully torn jeans, white loafers, linen jacket and bowler hat.

Few activities put my phone and TV in such danger of mutual destruction.

[Mr Larrington]

Guess who's getting on my tits again?  That's right, the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia!  The Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia tell me an update is available for iTunes, so I ask the Babbage-Engine to install it.  Version 11.3.1.2, in case you're interested.

The install fails.  I try again.

The install fails.  I reboot and try again.

The install fails.  As suggested by the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia's wossname, I download the update and attempt to run manually.

Nothing happens at all.  It seems that the next option is to nuke the whole fucking installation from orbit and start from scratch.  This is utter bollocks.  If it wasn't a Saturday I'd be charging you for my time.  Arsewipes.

Edit: so I nuke the old installation as per the instructions buried somewhere deep in the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia's support fora.  Then download the setup program and run it.  Somewhat to my surprise, the install actually works, but just in case, I uncheck the "Check for updates automagically" wossname.  I would not like the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia to start getting complacent and thinking that I trust it to Do The Right Thing or anything.

Out of interest, I clicky "Help...Check for Updates", whereupon I am informed that "This version of iTunes (11.3.1) is the current version."

The only reason I will not be killing Steve-o utterly to DETH when I'm next in California is because he's already dead.  I will have further to research whether it is possible to arrange for the BEAR to have Steve-o's remains for his tea.

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

Windows 8.1. Oh dear.

I was expecting a bit of culture shock. I know it's going to be different from Windows 7. I expected that.

So, shiney new tablet running Windows 8.1.

First experience, setting up a user when you first turn the thing on. Nice screens guiding you through the process. You MUST create a microsoft account to create a new user. Grrr.
Put nice secure (PITA to type in) password onto account, as it's accessible online.

Wake machine up. Need to enter password. GRRRR! Everytime! WTSF!

Look online for way to turn off "Enter password on unlock" option. Can't find one. Only online solution that looks like it might work involves the command line (Come on MS, are you taking the piss now). I run the command, which shows a standard windows user management screen, which pops up a dialog box "This tool doesn't work in Windows 8.1, please use the user configuration screen in PC settings", which I looked at first and doesn't give anyway to turn off the requirement to enter a password on unlock.

Finally create another user account, and creating it this way allows me to do it without joining it to a MS online account, so I can unlock the thing without a password. Of course, most of the widgets on the "Start screen" require an MS account to work...

Still, a minor annoyance I think, just part of the setting up process and getting used to a whole new system.

Start using the thing. Nice screen. Install chrome on it, works well. Start typing something on a web site. On screen keyboard is shockingly bad. I'm so used to swype on Android, that a Keyboard so basic it doesn't even auto-capitilise the first letter of a new sentence seems so primitive. Absolutely no auto-correct at all.

See somewhere online that suggests Windows 8.1 does auto-suggest correct spelling. Can't find anywhere to change keyboard settings.

Manage to shutdown the thing by accident somehow, as a screen popped up saying "are you sure you want to shutdown? Swipe to continue". I swipe the opposite way to the way the arrow is pointing and the thing shuts down.

Start it up again and try and look for keyboard settings. Find the control panel (swipe in from the right hand side of the screen, of course!) but the only entries I can find are for the standard Windows keyboard controls (how long you press a key before it repeats) which requires a physical keyboard, or the accessability controls, which are nothing to do with the touch screen keyboard.

Try and look for anything, can't find it.

Very, very frustrating experience. Stuff isn't easy to find. Even googling and following screenshots often doesn't work, as stuff seems to move around and not be where it should be.

Having something so frustrating in such an easily lobable format is very dangerous.

I've used everything from Dos version 3 (different config.sys & autoexec.bat files for different programs to make the most of the available memory) through windows 3.0, 3.1, 95, 98, 2000, XP, 7. Linux versions from Slackware floppy sets, through redhat, debian, ubuntu, that one you compile from source that I can't remember the name of, many different versions. I found setting up a mixture of debian packages and compiled from source applications less frustrating than trying to use Windows 8.

The worst aspect would be finding that there are many 12 year olds, or maybe younger, who think Windows 8.1 is a doddle.  And for whom it was probably designed.

[Andrij]

The worst aspect would be finding that there are many 12 year olds, or maybe younger, who think Windows 8.1 is a doddle.  And for by whom it was probably designed.

 

[Mr Larrington]

My Patent Compare the Contents of My iPod With Those of My iTunes Library SCIENCE is reporting a discrepancy, in that one particular track is present on the iPod but not in iTunes.  And vice-versa.

For the same track

Which I had just removed from both, then re-imported.

The SCIENCE works quite happily for the other 9604 tracks which should be present in both locations, so I can only assume that the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia's own SCIENCE doesn't like the song title being ~.  It doesn't mind any other odd characters, such as might be found in the titles of Sigur Ròs tunes, so this is making me Cross.

[Aidan]

Windows 8.1. Oh dear.

I was expecting a bit of culture shock. I know it's going to be different from Windows 7. I expected that.

So, shiney new tablet running Windows 8.1.

First experience, setting up a user when you first turn the thing on. Nice screens guiding you through the process. You MUST create a microsoft account to create a new user. Grrr.
Put nice secure (PITA to type in) password onto account, as it's accessible online.

Wake machine up. Need to enter password. GRRRR! Everytime! WTSF!

Look online for way to turn off "Enter password on unlock" option. Can't find one. Only online solution that looks like it might work involves the command line (Come on MS, are you taking the piss now). I run the command, which shows a standard windows user management screen, which pops up a dialog box "This tool doesn't work in Windows 8.1, please use the user configuration screen in PC settings", which I looked at first and doesn't give anyway to turn off the requirement to enter a password on unlock.

Finally create another user account, and creating it this way allows me to do it without joining it to a MS online account, so I can unlock the thing without a password. Of course, most of the widgets on the "Start screen" require an MS account to work...

Still, a minor annoyance I think, just part of the setting up process and getting used to a whole new system.

Start using the thing. Nice screen. Install chrome on it, works well. Start typing something on a web site. On screen keyboard is shockingly bad. I'm so used to swype on Android, that a Keyboard so basic it doesn't even auto-capitilise the first letter of a new sentence seems so primitive. Absolutely no auto-correct at all.

See somewhere online that suggests Windows 8.1 does auto-suggest correct spelling. Can't find anywhere to change keyboard settings.

Manage to shutdown the thing by accident somehow, as a screen popped up saying "are you sure you want to shutdown? Swipe to continue". I swipe the opposite way to the way the arrow is pointing and the thing shuts down.

Start it up again and try and look for keyboard settings. Find the control panel (swipe in from the right hand side of the screen, of course!) but the only entries I can find are for the standard Windows keyboard controls (how long you press a key before it repeats) which requires a physical keyboard, or the accessability controls, which are nothing to do with the touch screen keyboard.

Try and look for anything, can't find it.

Very, very frustrating experience. Stuff isn't easy to find. Even googling and following screenshots often doesn't work, as stuff seems to move around and not be where it should be.

Having something so frustrating in such an easily lobable format is very dangerous.

I've used everything from Dos version 3 (different config.sys & autoexec.bat files for different programs to make the most of the available memory) through windows 3.0, 3.1, 95, 98, 2000, XP, 7. Linux versions from Slackware floppy sets, through redhat, debian, ubuntu, that one you compile from source that I can't remember the name of, many different versions. I found setting up a mixture of debian packages and compiled from source applications less frustrating than trying to use Windows 8.

I hate windows 8 almost as much as I hate Dell...

My Dell has an in built thing which only allows it to charge from a Dell ( read expensive) lead and charger. Of course now the thing has gone faulty , which from an Google is a very very common occurrence.  So it doesnt charge or recognise the proper charger so has to work only while plugged in. Great for a laptop.

Even worse it has now developed a fault where it intermittently just turns itself off.

So now I am left with a choice of buying a new laptop which is either Windows 8 ( which I hate with a passion) or going Apple and paying over the odds for a shiny that will need extra software to run my favourite programs Aaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh

[Afasoas]

I've had laptops/netbooks do that before.
Turning them off, taking the batteries out for a good while and then reinserting the battery/re-attching the charger solved it. Worth a shot?

Do you NEED windows or OS X?

There are some nice Chromebooks about. And there's always Linux as an option.

[Kim]

Today's xkcd as a rant by proxy:



"What, no RS232?"

[tiermat]

Missing the Nintendo DS ones (three different chargers for 3 different models, at last they have seen the light and 3ds is micro usb)

Another thing, token ring and ethernet are not connectors, they are protocols. Ditto fibre, multiple different ways of connecting it.

No SATA, either.

[Aidan]

I've had laptops/netbooks do that before.
Turning them off, taking the batteries out for a good while and then reinserting the battery/re-attching the charger solved it. Worth a shot?

Do you NEED windows or OS X?

There are some nice Chromebooks about. And there's always Linux as an option.

Thanks , but have tried that mad lots of other things.  I want windows, so will probably by a  new laptop and a copy of windows 7 , or I may go Apple and get  parallels

[Mr Larrington]

Nor does it have that strange USB one shaped like the end of a house which I have feeding data from an external hard drive.

[simonp]

Apple with Parallels for running the odd legacy app.

[Mr Larrington]

The diagram was useful inasmuch as I wasn't previously aware of the existence of Bluetooth dongles.  My new lapdancer is supposed to speak Bluetooth, but doesn't.  Hence getting a photo from my dumbphone to the intertubes involves the old lapdancer, Google Drive and prodigious swearing.

Bluetooth dongle now ordered.  Thanks, Kim

[rafletcher]

So now I am left with a choice of buying a new laptop which is either Windows 8 ( which I hate with a passion) or going Apple and paying over the odds for a shiny that will need extra software to run my favourite programs Aaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh

No, ypu can buy "professional" laptops (certainly from Dell) with Windows 7 Pro on them as standard, or with a "downgrade" licence from 8 to 7.

FWIW we use Dell at work - a large multinational - and have relatively few hardware problems.  The E6440 i7 with SSD I have is fast and quiet.

[Chris S]

I'm having a trip down memory lane here - trying to support a customer in India, with no English, who's buggered their database which is running on Windows NT/SQL Server 2000.

They sent a backup for me to diagnose. FFS you n00bs, you could at least have truncated the log before sending it - 268Gb!! 

[ian]

Apple with Parallels for running the odd legacy app.

Virtualbox works fine these days and is free.

Though, to be honest, unless it's very specialised, you can probably find the same software or something similar that runs natively on a Mac. I only fire up a Win7 VM out of morbid curiosity and because it's an easier way of satisfying Finestre, the Demon of Such Things, than sacrificing small mammals.

For some reason, the mothership decided to shave a few pennies off its budget by giving us laptops without Bluetooth. It took me ages to find out via the labyrinth of windows settings (seriously Microsoft, how deep do you have to get in the system before it fesses up and says I've not got a Bluetooth chip, rather than merely hint there might be a hidden variable several clicks into the future that will turn it on). Shitmonkeys, it's 2014, just put a chip in by default and develop a UI for it that doesn't feel like you've sustained a significant head injury.

[Ham]

It always strikes me that someone in M$ has a sense of humour. As you probably know, all the stuffs normally have command line alternatives for starting. The one for Local User Mangement? lusermgr.msc