Author Topic: The computing stuff rant thread  (Read 403997 times)

Afasoas

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #750 on: 29 June, 2015, 03:00:42 pm »
Oh Microsoft.

Code: [Select]
        $windowsOSVersion=([string][System.Environment]::OSVersion.Version).Substring(0,3)
        Switch ($windowsOSVersion) {
            "6.0" {return "2008"}
            "6.3" {return "2012r2"}
        }

Returns OS version 6.2.92 on a clean unpatched install of Win Server 2k12 r2. Which everyone knows is 6.3x.
I'm tired of dealing with your shaftware that does work but not quite. Please get your shiz together.

PS. Workaround, use WMI:

Code: [Select]
$windowsOSVersion=((Get-WmiObject -Class Win32_OperatingSystem).Version).Substring(0,3)


Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #751 on: 01 July, 2015, 12:27:31 pm »
Dear The AA,

It is 2015 and yet not only can I not renew my membership online, I cannot even check my membership status on your crappy goes-round-in-circles webshite.

Get with the program, cavemen!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Wombat

  • Is it supposed to hurt this much?
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #752 on: 02 July, 2015, 08:07:41 am »
Its easy to work out what your renewal premium is with the AA, its at least twice what it was last year....

I've never actually renewed with them due to this problem, so I've never actually tested if it works....

Not a lot of help, I know.

It can't be as hopeless as ATMB (the French motorway toll folk) are with their online systems.  I subscribed, had an illegal French transactino within seconds, the bank stopped my card, I told them their website was insecure,and I'd had to get a new card, and I'd give themthe details as soons I got it.  They tried totake payment while I had no card, and applied a "penalty charge" for non-payment, and told me this several weeks later, by real old fashioned paper letter (in French contractual language).  I wrote back and told them that the only reason the payment was not made was that their website was insecure, and that I had now changed my card details and had an email form them acknowledging that fact. I then got another letter saying I had to pay a penalty charge, completely ignoring the contents of the previous letter. 

I then got my French mate Pascal to phone them up and have a French contractual argument with them in French, the upshot of which is that he had to send them a cheque for the subscription as their system is totally incapable of making a second attempt at taking the payment froma different card number....  So I still don't know if the toll barriers will open for us next Friday afternoon...  (and no, we're not going via Calais!)  Oh, and anyone else fancying getting an electronic tag, don't be fooled by their apparently English speaking website.  As soon as you get to making a payment, it reverts to French!  I can manage food, drink and accomodation in France, but contractual stuff is way beyond me. 
Wombat

ian

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #753 on: 03 July, 2015, 09:42:08 am »
Dear Mothership IT subdecks

If we have a ongoing problem with the VPN, why not fucking put up an announcement on, you know, the system you have for such announcements?

Oh yes, you're IBM.

Fuckchucklers.

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #754 on: 03 July, 2015, 12:39:10 pm »
Dear Mothership IT subdecks

If we have a ongoing problem with the VPN, why not fucking put up an announcement on, you know, the system you have for such announcements?

Oh yes, you're IBM.

Fuckchucklers.

Chances are that under the covers that's AT&T - they're just like IBM but without the smooth and speedy processes.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #755 on: 03 July, 2015, 06:08:34 pm »
IBM is short for "It's b0rked, mate" as any fule kno.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #756 on: 03 July, 2015, 06:41:52 pm »
(Inferior | Inadequate) But Marketable

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #757 on: 03 July, 2015, 07:21:30 pm »
"I Bought Macintosh"
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #758 on: 03 July, 2015, 10:33:53 pm »
International Biscuit Maker

(IBM have a bot on their chat system that expands acronyms, this was actually one of the options given for IBM, at some stage over recent years that has been removed)

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #759 on: 06 July, 2015, 12:40:53 pm »
Took my laptop to computer hospital this morning and it needs a new hard drive. Shitandfuckanddamnandblast.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


ian

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #760 on: 08 July, 2015, 08:38:13 am »
Posture Assessment Failed: Hostscan CSD prelogin verification failed.

That's helpful, Cisco.

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #761 on: 08 July, 2015, 08:45:24 am »
Posture Assessment Failed: Hostscan CSD prelogin verification failed.

That's helpful, Cisco.

Posture Assesssment Failed means that something on your PC didn't comply with the standards set by your IT department for secure access to the mothership.
Possibly out of date anti virus or firewall off or missing etc. It can even tell what patch levels you are running dependant on how they set it up. Basically it scans your PC to make sure it meets a set of standards before letting you logon.

They should have documented your companies re-mediation system for when this happens. Usually you have to either get connected to a sandpit area that lets you get updated or take your laptop in and get them to manually update it.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

ian

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #762 on: 08 July, 2015, 09:03:36 am »
It's the ongoing problem that's plagued us for a week now – the one our IBM support minions classed as an 'email issue' despite the fact I can read my bloody email on an iPad. It comes and goes. You have no idea how many times I've typed my password over the last week.

Anyway, it's not a helpful error message for an end user. It's 2015, perhaps they could encode some wisdom in such message. Like 'it's fucked, probably will be for a week and then we'll say we've fixed it, but we won't have.'

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #763 on: 08 July, 2015, 09:16:02 am »
I don't do much with Cisco client VPN stuff these days but I am pretty sure you can customise the whole thing with whatever messages you want and your own corporate logo etc. Its all XML.

I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #764 on: 08 July, 2015, 08:02:57 pm »
Workmate accidentally deleted all his emails :facepalm:

Emails to the helldesk ensured, and after some investigation, the reply was that backups aren't available for June.

Workmate whinged to TL, who said "well, it's a learning experience, isn't it". Further whinging emails elicited the following reply:

"We know that backups are 100% full proof".

I'm not sure if it was the uselessness of the reply which annoyed him most, or the illiteracy.

(Remind me to back up my emails tomorrow).

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #765 on: 08 July, 2015, 09:55:04 pm »
"We know that backups are 100% full proof".

I'm not sure if it was the uselessness of the reply which annoyed him most, or the illiteracy.

It's not illiteracy.  It means the backups are being made to /dev/null (a well-known technique for making them run faster).

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #766 on: 08 July, 2015, 10:34:07 pm »
:)

There's no accounting for someone deleting everything, really. And I'm not that surprised, since this is the same lot that had to scour ebay for replacement parts for their antique servers. One of the senior IT bods was cooing over the bits in the basement, which took him right back to his 70s youth.

Afasoas

Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #767 on: 09 July, 2015, 08:43:49 am »
70s?

You running a mainframe? :o

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #768 on: 10 July, 2015, 11:20:47 am »
Posture Assessment Failed: Hostscan CSD prelogin verification failed.

That's helpful, Cisco.

Translation: Sit up straight, man!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #769 on: 12 July, 2015, 12:22:37 pm »
Excel, yea and verily thou art the Spawn of Stan!

Select a bunch of cells all in the same column.  I just want to sort them into alphabetical order but because there is data in a cell in the same postcode the Babbage-Engine emits a vulgar noise and asks me whether I want to expand the current selection (the default) or continue with what I've got.  If I had wanted to include column A in the sort of Stuffs in column B I would have selected column A as well, but if there's an option to "Turn off sort-based nagging for non-terminally-feebleminded users" I can't find it.

Still, because I want to apply the same sort to bits of column D I can use <CONTROL-Y> to repeat the process, right?

Can I fuck!

It's bad enough that current Microsith software has a look and feel borrowed from the Early Learning Centre but when they start throwing away keyboard shortcuts which have been engrained in my memory-branes for a quarter of a century it's time to send the BEAR round for lunch.  I shall be passing through Sea-Tac in September and may have to initiate some ursine ultra-violence.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #770 on: 23 July, 2015, 11:03:33 am »
Arrggh after two years and many restarts of the router, it figured out that it was time to give all my connected items new IPs.

Not a big problem but I got used to the old numbers for the connected items. Time to change the DHCP setting...
Current mood: AARRRGGGGHHHHH !!! #bollockstobrexit

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #771 on: 23 July, 2015, 04:32:27 pm »
Not a big problem but I got used to the old numbers for the connected items.

This is what DNS is for.

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #772 on: 23 July, 2015, 04:34:33 pm »
Not a big problem but I got used to the old numbers for the connected items.

This is what DNS is for.
Yeah I know, but I'm lazy and it kept the IP's happy since I plugged it in the first time until now :)
Current mood: AARRRGGGGHHHHH !!! #bollockstobrexit

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #773 on: 08 August, 2015, 11:59:49 am »
To the DVSA1

Your "The Official DVSA Guide To Hazard Perception" is this: shit.
  • You cannot maximise the window in which it runs, meaning that the video clips are not only piss-poor in quality but also too fucking small.  You can't tell whether a white blur is a sign warning of Impending Doom or just estate agency propaganda until you're on top of it.
  • The "Click the screen when you spot a developing hazard" exercises are very hit and miss.  Mostly miss.  "You did not spot the bus indicating right" it bleats.  Yes I fucking did, you electronic sillybollocks.  "See there," I said to myself, sotto voce, "that bus is indicating right and therefore constitutes a developing hazard.  I will click the screen to indicate that I have spotted it".  There is no right of appeal, and it doesn't listen to what you may be saying anyway.
  • It won't accept the existence of a mounted ISO image so I have to cart the physical DVD around Larrington Towers if I want to use it on another machine. And then forget where I left it.
If the test itself is down to this standard then I am fuck-ed.

1: I originally mistyped this as "DVDA", which you should probably not Google if others are present, however appropriate the typo was.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The computing stuff rant thread
« Reply #774 on: 08 August, 2015, 02:47:58 pm »
When I did it the babbage-engines were at least somebody else's problem, and the test was easily passed by guessing the frequency of clicks that would constitute cheating, and making sure that you stayed somewhat under it, while not being completely oblivious to the road scene being presented.  TBH, anyone who's been successfully using the roads for a while ought to be able to pass it easily, either through a rudimentary ability to anticipate hazards, or a sufficiently high level of luck.

The practice test was a VHS tape, so the level of feedback was broadly similar to the current arrangement.