Working with the terminally feebleminded

[Charlotte]

I know it's Monday morning, but I'm truly staggered.  One of our admin people has just come into my office to ask me where she can find a hole pinch that's big enough to do the half inch thick document she's just printed out.

I pointed her to the bloody great big industrial hole punch on the shelf outside and she said "yeah, but even that's not big enough."

"Try doing it in three or four goes, then", I said.

"Oh yeah.  I didn't think of that."

[mrcharly-YHT]

Insert ear into holepunch. Depress lever. Repeat

[Jurek]

Glenn, the utterly useless half - brother of the director of a company I once worked for, informed us that our other office had run out of A4 paper - but it was OK because he had just faxed them over a few blank sheets to see them through the day.

[clarion]

That's not feeble minded, that's...that's...that's just...situationist!

[Quisling]

I recently assisted a similarly feebleminded colleague who was searching all round the office for a hole punch that had the sizing bar on it as most of them have been lost.  This, in their mind was the only possible way of correctly locating the pages in the hole punch.

I suggested they fold the front page in half, or a sheet of scrap A4, and mark the halfway point, then insert so it was opposite the centre of the hole punch WHERE THERE WAS A CENTRE MARK.

It took two attempts to explain before I saw the clouds part.

[ScumOfTheRoad]

I once had a hole punch for specially thick documents. It looked something you would use as a thumbscrew - metal frame a few inches high, with a hollow metal rod the same diameter as a paper hole. Upper portion of the rod had an external thread, which threaded into the metal frame.
So you screwed this thing down into a stack of paper to punch out a hole.

[mrcharly-YHT]

I've used a mechanical machine version of that. Big victorian device, with a very precise bar that you set up like tabs on a manual typewriter. Then you dropped the ream of paper in place, and drilled the holes one at a time.

Steampunk stuff. 

[Wowbagger]

When I worked at HMRC, if we had especially thick documents to punch we would take them to the reprographics unit who had a massive 4-hole paper drill for the very purpose. It was quite a long all-indoors walk from where we worked, so used to make quite a nice trip out.

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[Manotea]

During my schooldays I helped out in a small instore bakery (I needed the dough, tish boom) where i witnessed one of the Saturday girl shop assistents bagging up 100 rolls for a customer and then asking her friend - this being an extraordinarily large & complex transaction and maths not being her strong suit - "what is four (p) times a hundred?"

[Wowbagger]

During my schooldays I helped out in a small instore bakery (I needed the dough, tish boom) where i witnessed one of the Saturday girl shop assistents bagging up 100 rolls for a customer and then asking her friend - this being an extraordinarily large & complex transaction and maths not being her strong suit - "what is four (p) times a hundred?"

Fairly recently, whilst on a tandem ride, Mrs. Wow and I went into a shop somewhere and bought 10 of a particular item of a few pence value. I've forgotten where and I've forgotten what, (Mrs. Wow thinks it was cereal bars in a supermarket somewhere) but we were most impressed when the middle-aged shop assistant used a calculator to find the total.

[Exit Stage Left]

During my schooldays I helped out in a small instore bakery (I needed the dough, tish boom) where i witnessed one of the Saturday girl shop assistents bagging up 100 rolls for a customer and then asking her friend - this being an extraordinarily large & complex transaction and maths not being her strong suit - "what is four (p) times a hundred?"

Fairly recently, whilst on a tandem ride, Mrs. Wow and I went into a shop somewhere and bought 10 of a particular item of a few pence value. I've forgotten where and I've forgotten what, (Mrs. Wow thinks it was cereal bars in a supermarket somewhere) but we were most impressed when the middle-aged shop assistant used a calculator to find the total.

I got chatting to a hire shop owner about this subject, he'd gone for three Eccles cakes at 60p each and the assistant asked for £3.80, the problem is that the young won't instantly know that 380 is not divisible by 3, some might even pay that amount.

[Rhys W]

I used to work in a place that had a profoundly-deaf engineer. Apart from having a vibrating pager connected to the fire alarm, it didn't affect his work in any way. He could speak in the manner of a deaf person, initially hard to understand, but once you got used to it, it was possible to have a conversation with him.

One day, one of the other engineers rang up Mad Jason the IT guy, and did a very good impression of the deaf guy, Roger's exaggerated and slowed-down speech, saying he had a problem with his PC. Now, between putting the phone down and walking across to the office, Mad Jason had realised he'd just been apparently speaking on the phone to somebody who'd been totally deaf from birth. Most people at this point would realise that they'd been had...

Mad Jason storms up to Roger's desk, fuming and shouting "You bastard, I knew you weren't really deaf!"

[clarion]

During my schooldays I helped out in a small instore bakery (I needed the dough, tish boom)

Breadhead.

[border-rider]

I got chatting to a hire shop owner about this subject, he'd gone for three Eccles cakes at 60p each and the assistant asked for £3.80, the problem is that the young won't instantly know that 380 is not divisible by 3, some might even pay that amount.

That's also showing a different set of skills many people seem to lack: estimating. If it comes out at more than £3 then you're paying over a pound each, and that should ring a bell. If you know they're just over half a quid apiece then you should be expecting a total somewhere between £150 and £2, and if it falls in that area you'd likely not bother worrying too much more.

[clarion]

I got chatting to a hire shop owner about this subject, he'd gone for three Eccles cakes at 60p each and the assistant asked for £3.80, the problem is that the young won't instantly know that 380 is not divisible by 3, some might even pay that amount.

That's also showing a different set of skills many people seem to lack: estimating. If it comes out at more than £3 then you're paying over a pound each, and that should ring a bell. If you know they're just over half a quid apiece then you should be expecting a total somewhere between £150 and £2, and if it falls in that area you'd likely not bother worrying too much more.

I think your parameters are rather wide.

[Exit Stage Left]

I got chatting to a hire shop owner about this subject, he'd gone for three Eccles cakes at 60p each and the assistant asked for £3.80, the problem is that the young won't instantly know that 380 is not divisible by 3, some might even pay that amount.

That's also showing a different set of skills many people seem to lack: estimating. If it comes out at more than £3 then you're paying over a pound each, and that should ring a bell. If you know they're just over half a quid apiece then you should be expecting a total somewhere between £150 and £2, and if it falls in that area you'd likely not bother worrying too much more.

I think your parameters are rather wide.

I've lived with a Yorkshire lass for 29 years, so I'd be negotiating a bulk discount.

[Wowbagger]

I have frequently bought 3 identical items for a total not divisible by 3. The last specific occasion I can think of was last June, the hottest afternoon of the summer (Germany 4 England 1). Charlotte and I took refuge and refreshment in the Stisted tea room. We had identical cans of drink - Charlotte 1 can and me 2 - total price £2.60.

[robgul]

I have frequently bought 3 identical items for a total not divisible by 3. The last specific occasion I can think of was last June, the hottest afternoon of the summer (Germany 4 England 1). Charlotte and I took refuge and refreshment in the Stisted tea room. We had identical cans of drink - Charlotte 1 can and me 2 - total price £2.60.

This whole area is a result of kids not being taught the times-tables ... we chanted them every morning at primary school for the first couple of years .. and also did a mental arithmetic text every morning too - sharpens the brain.   Don't get me started on spelling. . .

... and interestingly going bck to Wow's post about a calculator - in the pre-decimal era (i.e. < 1971) people in shops seemed able to count and tally sales as they went along (greengrocer, butcher etc with multiple items) BUT having spent lots of holidays in France in the mid/late 1950s I recall that they always had to write down the items and add them up on a bit of paper ....

Rob

[David Martin]

I got chatting to a hire shop owner about this subject, he'd gone for three Eccles cakes at 60p each and the assistant asked for £3.80, the problem is that the young won't instantly know that 380 is not divisible by 3, some might even pay that amount.

That's also showing a different set of skills many people seem to lack: estimating. If it comes out at more than £3 then you're paying over a pound each, and that should ring a bell. If you know they're just over half a quid apiece then you should be expecting a total somewhere between £150 and £2, and if it falls in that area you'd likely not bother worrying too much more.

I think your parameters are rather wide.

I got his point. Perhaps he wants it back...

Trying to get kids to just 'back of an envelope guess' is an uphill struggle. Fun questions like 'If all the houses were built of bricks, how many bricks would  there be in Dundee?'

..d

[robgul]

I've used a mechanical machine version of that. Big victorian device, with a very precise bar that you set up like tabs on a manual typewriter. Then you dropped the ream of paper in place, and drilled the holes one at a time.

Steampunk stuff. 

You'll be meaning one of these then [url=http://www.castlepress.co.uk/soag_paperdrill.htm]Soag Paper Drill. Used Printing Machinery for Sale[/url] 

It has a hollow "drill bit" that rotates and literally drills a hole in the pile of paper (when I worked in the print we used the drillings as great confetti!)

Rob

[mrcharly-YHT]

yeah, like that but with a bigger table and belt driven.

[Steve Kish]

The thing that really pi55es me off is the quality of staff at my local bank. 

I went in there a few weeks ago with a cheque for £100 petty cash.  Written on the back, I put '£50 in £10's  /  £30 in £5's  /  £20 in £1's.'

I couldn't believe my eyes when the retard counter clerk hunted around fo a calculator to add this up!

[hatler]

This whole area is a result of kids not being taught the times-tables ... we chanted them every morning at primary school for the first couple of years .. and also did a mental arithmetic text every morning too - sharpens the brain.   Don't get me started on spelling. . .

My 7 yo is doing precisely this in her state primary school right now. I don't imagine they'd be doing it if it wasn't part of the national curriculum.

[Jaded]

I got chatting to a hire shop owner about this subject, he'd gone for three Eccles cakes at 60p each and the assistant asked for £3.80, the problem is that the young won't instantly know that 380 is not divisible by 3, some might even pay that amount.

That's also showing a different set of skills many people seem to lack: estimating. If it comes out at more than £3 then you're paying over a pound each, and that should ring a bell. If you know they're just over half a quid apiece then you should be expecting a total somewhere between £150 and £2, and if it falls in that area you'd likely not bother worrying too much more.

I think your parameters are rather wide.

He's a consultant.

[Si_Co]

Co-worker who has been driving for more than ten years and drives everywhere including the 0.7 miles to work through a town centre accosted me this morning with "They should pass a law to make cyclists stop at red lights"