Author Topic: TdeF 2017 (Read 96526 times)

Vince · « **Reply #425 on:** 12 July, 2017, 03:30:28 pm »

I've noticed the dedication of spectators. They make a tortuous journey through French traffic, wait for hours once the road is closed, then just as the action comes, they break off to chase a thrown water bottle.

ScumOfTheRoad · « **Reply #426 on:** 12 July, 2017, 03:39:28 pm »

T42 - Nowt wrong with a dog keeping its own bum clean. Its when he starts complaining about your brand of shampoo and using all the hot water up that you should start being concerned.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #427 on:** 12 July, 2017, 03:56:23 pm »

Quote from: spesh on 12 July, 2017, 03:13:21 pm

Well, this stage has been a load of arse... or was that the numerology segment we were just subjected to in an attempt to pass the time?

A load of old kabbalahs.

fd3 · « **Reply #428 on:** 12 July, 2017, 04:15:47 pm »

That was sooooo boring. I as thinking maybe we need to bring back split stages, maybe a short sprinter stage followed by a quick crit, or have two short sprint stages in the same day. Because this is so fcuking dull.

T42 · « **Reply #429 on:** 12 July, 2017, 04:29:43 pm »

Better now with Bodnar out in front

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #430 on:** 12 July, 2017, 05:03:08 pm »

Anyone would think flat transitional stages were a New Thing or something.

Also, miaow!

Samuel D · « **Reply #431 on:** 12 July, 2017, 05:18:01 pm »

The ending wasn’t dull. And flat stages do usually play out a certain way. But something might be done to encourage better breakaways even when riders are tired and the day is considered to be one for the sprinters. We’ve had some pathetic breakaways in this Tour. If you’re covering the whole stage on TV, you want to see an hour of racing before the breakaway forms (and, in fairness, that has happened too in this Tour).

Also, it was anticlimactic to see Movistar move to the front during the long crosswind section and then waste energy there in the futile hope of Froome getting caught behind a split or crash but doing nothing to provoke that. Meanwhile, Sky and Froome sat well back on the leeward side, calmly saving lots of energy.

The more I see of Team Sky, the more I admire their smart racing. Never mind having the money to buy the best cyclists; they drill more sense into them than the other teams do. It’s been impressive to watch Sky improve tactically. A few years ago they were pretty rubbish.

In a grand tour, saving small amounts of energy here, there, and everywhere matters a great deal.

Jaja was mentioned above. He often annoys me (not least when he talks about Froome). And he’s sometimes surprisingly off-target for a guy of his experience. For example, he has repeatedly said Kittel has won despite being badly placed, just because Kittel hasn’t gone into the final few hundred meters in second position. Sheesh. That’s one reason he has won! Maybe Jaja has forgotten what the wind feels like at 60 km/h.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #432 on:** 12 July, 2017, 05:23:40 pm »

Stage 11: Eymet->Pau

N Boulting:	O hai! I, TV’s *** Boulting, haz a headache…
Bethany (7):	Poor *** lol!! Here iz how much sympathy I haz: 0. Ur as bad as mi Mum!
Bethany’s Mum:	I ‘eard that, u little scrubber!
SD Millar:	Armagnac slammers FTW, roffle!
N Boulting:	I would kill u utterly 2 DETH, SD Millar, if I could see straight.
G Imlach:	Stop it, children! Or u will go 2 bed without any supper, liek N Bouhanni!
N Bouhanni:	One @ a time or all together, slags! Maeks no difference 2 me!
NC Boardman:	Don’t, guv, ‘e’s not worf it!
	Shortly…
C Prudhomme:	OK, off u fck!
SD Millar:	3 Charlies up teh road, FFS! I’m going back 2 bed!
N Boulting:	Nooooooo! Don’t leave me here with a) an overhang and b) code-talking oddball M Rendall!
M Rendall:	Spassibo! Wollastonite para lutefisk met mocha inout shakeitallabout! Autobahndreieck dué falange metalurgiquey boggler boggler beep? Big Vin Diesel Endjinn!
SD Millar:	- .... .- - ... / . .- ... -.-- / ....- / ..- / ..--- / ... .- -.--!
N Boulting:	I give up!
TP Fairy:	O hai! I, TP Fairy, Enemy ov teh Proletariat and general bastardo, am on teh prowl! O hai, A Contador! Stab stabbity stabEEEE!
A Contador:	Piss! Still, we approach teh Spaign-o, which will maek it much easier 4 me 2 sneak off home after C Froome kicks sand in mi face again!
C Froome:	Kick! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Just call me “Mr Apollo”!
N Boulting:	Right, tiem 4 fur ov teh dog! HAIR! M Smith and captive, maek with narrative!
B-Dog:	Woof, woof! Sausages!
M Smith:	O hai and o hai 2 JR Shand who. Iz mi slave today say hello JR Shand!
JR Shand:	O hai! Y do I have 2 wear these handcuffs? I’m riding l’Etape!
M Smith:	Right and now on teh electric telephone iz M Earley. Who iz a chiropractor in Staffordshire.
M Earley:	I am not a fukn chiropractor u git!
	FX: Anvil landing in skip full ov bottles
M Smith:	Oooooh tetchy those were teh days!
JR Shand:	I’m riding l’Etape¹! What’s teh car battery and crocogator clips 4?
M Smith:	Hahaha château EO Aquitaine those were teh days tomatoes!
JR Shand:	Sounds liek fun. I’m riding l’Etape! Nearly 200 km!
AUK:	Gosh, ur hard, roffle!
	Repeat, with variations…
JR Shand:	I’m riding l’Etape!
	Nine hundred million pine trees later…
N Boulting:	Les Landes! Napoléon III!
SD Millar:	Foie gras!
NC Boardman:	Bouhanni! Arsehole!
N Boulting:	(Incomprehensible bobbins about French A-level)
NC Boardman:	Insufficient châteaux! Money back, plz!
SD Millar:	EO Aquitaine!
	Nine hundred million pine trees later…
D Cataldo:	`O HAI! WHAT KIND OV FU-KN ID-I-OT LEAVES A BI-DET IN TEH ROAD?`²
JR Shand:	I’m riding l’Etape!
N Boulting:	M Rendall, ~~stultify~~ statistify us!
M Rendall:	Numerôlogo kabbalah došśardo! Nedwin hahahaha! Demi almirante didjit blong um septuagesima wildebeest! Leaf spring?
N Boulting:	Get! Out!
	Nine hundred million pine trees later…
N Boulting:	R Bardet… back in teh beak ov teh pelican…
SD Millar:	(Snoring…)
	Nine hundred million pine trees later…
M Bodnar:	O hai! Right, I iz off!
A Contador:	So iz I. And not in a good way.
JJ Jarlinsson:	Ph3@r not, A Contador! I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, will save u!
M Kitteh:	M Bodnar! Bring him! Bring him 2 me! Also, miaow!
T Quickstep:	Yeth, mathter!
M Bodnar:	Piss!
M Kitteh:	Mi! AOW! Iz liek playing Tetris!
Bethany (7):	What did he just say?
JR Shand:	I’m riding l’Etape!

For the avoidance of doubt, JR Shand was both interesting and eloquent, and I hope she has fun doing l’Etape
Doffs hat to T42

bobb · « **Reply #433 on:** 12 July, 2017, 06:15:13 pm »

FFS Greipel, you useless prick. That's another 3 quid you've cost me! I just hope you're being deliberately shit to keep your odds going out before finally winning a stage...

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #434 on:** 12 July, 2017, 06:16:40 pm »

200m.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #435 on:** 13 July, 2017, 02:18:57 am »

Greipel will probably get his act together on the Champs Elysée only for Bouhanni to nail him with a right cross 10 metres from the line.

T42 · « **Reply #436 on:** 13 July, 2017, 08:30:40 am »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 13 July, 2017, 02:18:57 am

Greipel will probably get his act together on the Champs Elysée only for Bouhanni to nail him with a right cross 10 metres from the line.

Any word on the back-story to Boo-Hoo's fisticuffs? In an interview with French TV he just said that it was merited, and all we saw was the end of it; but he wasn't going to say any more and get bogged down in recriminations.

Riggers · « **Reply #437 on:** 13 July, 2017, 09:06:34 am »

Blast. I was watching the highlights on Eurosport last night, and thought I was doing pretty well (not the riders – me!) inasmuch as I'd eaten the left-over homemade curry and rice, and lay down on the sofa. Saw Bidnor was still ahead with 3km to go, then woke up with some chap shouting "That's five for von Kittel!!" Oh well.

Actually, I realise NOW, I could have rewound it!!! Fool!!!

I'll try harder this evening.

Exit Stage Left · « **Reply #438 on:** 13 July, 2017, 10:00:29 am »

An interesting video of Froome talking to Belgian TV. https://www.facebook.com/TeamSky/videos/10155679527294873/

He lived in Belgium for six months, and he modifies his speech patterns to fit in with the interviewer. That must make him popular with the media and the organisation.

T42 · « **Reply #439 on:** 13 July, 2017, 10:13:52 am »

Quote from: Riggers on 13 July, 2017, 09:06:34 am

"That's five for von Kittel!!"

He's doubtless a nice bloke but he's not that noble.

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #440 on:** 13 July, 2017, 10:42:17 am »

Today's stage should be a ripper....and if it isn't Froome wins. Aru has today and next Thursday to make up the 18 second deficit and get more time in hand to account for Froome's superior time trialling.

It isn't the final climb that offers the opportunities, it is the preceding two. The Col Dr Menté looks bastard hard and with, as far as I can tell from the map, a tricky descent. Possible scope for Aru as he likes to attack on steep slopes. Alternatively, Col Dr Balés is also hard, and goes pretty much straight from the descent to the final climb and finish of the Peyresourde.

Froome has lost Thomas, but not only has Aru lost Cataldo but Fulsgang has fucked his hand in a crash yesterday.

Apart from the two main contenders Im hoping Bardet will light the blue touch paper.

Vince · « **Reply #441 on:** 13 July, 2017, 10:54:14 am »

Steve Cummings is in the break.

fd3 · « **Reply #442 on:** 13 July, 2017, 11:13:46 am »

Can Aru et all really expect to get 2 mins on Froome in the next two mountain stages? I think they need to isolate/force a crash/form a breakaway of leaders with Froome left out. Unless they rig it as a group, it won't happen without a crash.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #443 on:** 13 July, 2017, 11:25:05 am »

TV's P York reckons it's more likely to really kick off tomorrow and today's descents aren't rad and gnarly enough for R Bardet.

spesh · « **Reply #444 on:** 13 July, 2017, 11:43:14 am »

Shamelessly stolen from the BikeRadar thread for today's stage:

"Apparently the finish is where they filmed a James Bond film. After two dull days hope for a lot of action tomorrow never dies. Froome will want his team to beat the living daylights out of his opponents with a view to kill them off before the weekend. The spectre of Aru looms though ready to take yellow should Sky fall. With good weather, no rain or thunder, ball to the wall descending from Bardet could take him from bronze position to gold. Finger and wrist problems for Fuglsang after his crash - we await the update from the team doctor. No such problems for Uran and Martin will want a win as having the best sprinter in the world is not enough for Quick Step. Contador will want a good performance to provide a quantum of solace to his dejected fans. Or maybe the break will live and let Di Data's Cummings have a chance."

T42 · « **Reply #445 on:** 13 July, 2017, 12:03:14 pm »

Only one intermediate sprint. Kütteln to rejoin peloton after?

Samuel D · « **Reply #446 on:** 13 July, 2017, 12:10:41 pm »

There is always only one intermediate sprint these days, more’s the pity.

Damp weather may make the descent more difficult than expected.

Toss-up between Cummings and Froome for the stage?

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #447 on:** 13 July, 2017, 12:44:00 pm »

Say after me, TV's M Smith, I must learn the difference between "climatic" and "climactic". Fortunately P York went with what you meant and not what you said

M Kitteh still in the lead froup!

Riggers · « **Reply #448 on:** 13 July, 2017, 02:31:10 pm »

Hey! I've only just noticed the 'Live map' on Eurosport, following the TdF, and it follows one rider, but you can click on 'add more riders' (bottom-right) and scroll through who you'd like to add! Just click on 'Live map' to open it up. Excellent stuff.

Riggers · « **Reply #449 on:** 13 July, 2017, 02:46:42 pm »

If you mouse-click the centre of each white 'pointer', as it trundles along the road, it'll bring up the individual rider and his speed (bottom-right)

Author Topic: TdeF 2017 (Read 96526 times)

Samuel D

Samuel D