| G Imlach: | O hai! 2day we visit teh place where Bond James Bond blew up loads ov Stuff & killed loads ov baddies utterly 2 DETH! |
| T Astana: | O RLY! WE THOUGHT THAT WAS NEAR US! |
| G Imlach: | No, T Astana. No, it was not. TV’s C Boardmen, pundit us! |
| EC Boardman: | O hai! I, TV’s Evil C Boardman think that ur suggestion ov a henchman garrotting C Froome haz legs! |
| NC Boardman: | O hai! I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, say teh other GC contenders need 2 stop attacking each other and attack C Froome. |
| EC Boardman: | Yes, that’s what I said! |
| N Boulting: | Come on, C Prudhomme, do ur thing! |
| C Prudhomme: | Ur having a giraffe! It’s raining! I iz not sticking mi head-branes out ov teh motor until I absolutely haz 2! |
| SD Millar: | O hai! 2day’s word iz “hyperbole”. HY-PER-BO-LE. Hyperbole! Iz S Cummings biding hiz tiem? |
| N Boulting: | He may be. Or he may not. It iz important 2 keep ur hyperbole dry on a day liek this. |
| Bethany (7): | o hai y they not saev this stage 4 teh weekend or teh holibobz teh gits??!? mi mum sez if I bunk of skool agen shell rip mi nippulz of teh fukn old c-o-w whats a gril 2 do eh txt me if anyfink hapenz xXx bthny |
| C Prudhomme: | OK! Off u fck! |
| After a good deal ov pointless breaklets, catches, dicking about & W Barguil… |
| SD Millar: | Sunweb. WTF they playing at? W Barguil! |
| N Boulting: | On a day liek 2 day iz important not 2 let teh hyperbole out ov teh bag 2 soon! |
| M Kitteh: | CAT! It’s “let teh CAT out ov teh bag”, u gr8 tool! Also, miaow! |
| After sum blipverts… |
| N Boulting: | Break! w00t! S Cummings! TD Gendt! M Matthews! And M Kitteh! |
| M Matthews: | If CP Sagan can do it then so can I! |
| M Kitteh: | If M Matthews can do it then I, M Kitteh, can do it also. 4 sure and, moreover, miaow! |
| SD Millar: | w00t indeed, ***! Now 2 that London, where M Smith and P York will lay sum hyperbole on us woo yeah baby! |
| P York: | Just want 2 check, iz SD Millar behaving liek an adult 2day? |
| N Boulting: | Yes. Yes, he is. 4 now… |
| M Smith: | O hai! Aren’t Pyrenées brilliant! |
| P York: | Yes. Yes, they are. If they are b4 Alps. Alps iz teh suxx0r! Bah! |
| Rather l8r than might be optimal… |
| Bethany (7): | O hai! Wot’s teh score? |
| NC Boardman: | 0-0. Mite go 2 xtra tiem. |
| Bethany (7): | ta NC! Tiem 4 skool dinner bleurgh chips beanz not a kumquat in site ffs i blaem teh slithy gove! |
| N Farage: | Wash ur mouth out with soap, young lady! I bet ur one ov those remoaners! |
| Bethany (7): | Hope I die b4 I get as old & stupidz as u, u gr8 sexist jizzbadger! |
| N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
| M Matthews: | Yay! MOAR points 4 me! LOL @ M Kitteh! |
| M Kitteh: | Was it really worth all that effort, u silly Antipodean fule? Also, miaow! |
| N Boulting: | Cat 2 climb coming! Danger and excitement! We’re off 2 lunch! |
| SD Millar: | Got 2 feed ur inner hyperbole, innit! |
| After even yet MOAR shitverts… |
| N Boulting: | Let us pause a second, Super D, and listen 2 this sonically-challenged Frenchman and his punk rock electric guitar! |
| ML Maire: | (Ponders advisability ov playing punk rock electric guitar in pissing rain) |
| M Cavendish: | V Nibbles iz a good descender compared 2 people who are not good descenders1! |
| Omnes: | O RLY? |
| SD Millar: | w00t! First cat climb! |
| M Kitteh: | First kitteh on teh first cat lol! Tiem 4 me 2 disappear. Also, miaow! |
| S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
| Up teh Menté… |
| M Matthews: | C me sprint 4 teh spottypoints! I told u I was crazy! |
| TD Gendt: | U utter git, M Matthews! |
| W Barguil: | Thx, M Matthews! |
| Omnes: | Cheese it, M Matthews, ur not CP Sagan and that is teh end ov it! |
| M Matthews: | Where iz everyone? |
| Omnes: | Do a wheelie lol!! |
| Up teh Khyber… |
| N Boulting: | Tiem 4 Jackanory with Vsquared’s rnser 2 TV’s B Cribbins! M Rendall, gibberise teh view0rz! |
| M Rendall: | Makalu, ti brat moi! Peyragude gwan mashup ik pemë ati fiara zaridaina! Wake up, Millar! Her tistê ku hêriyan bû? C Froome? Te pene o toku whaea keke, MOAR liek! Ace ov suede! |
| N Boulting: | Very interesting. In parts. |
| M Rendall: | Erokeria, ***! Çox sevirem! |
| Bethany (7): | And N Farage haz teh nerve 2 call me a rudesby! |
| M Rendall: | U speke Basque & Azerbaijani  |
| Up teh Balés… |
| N Boulting: | V Kiryienka! Wearing a V Kiryienka mask2! |
| SD Millar: | Action, yes, conversation, no! GV Avermaet, E [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]ez, PT Voeckler! All fscked! |
| TD Gendt: | O hai! I haz had teh spottyjumper b4 & by God! I shall haz it agane! |
| S Cummings: | Tiem bided! O hai, TD Gendt! |
| TD Gendt: | Urk! |
| J Birdsong: | O bai! I pulled into Nazareth, was feeling ‘bout half past dead! |
| F Aru: | WTF? Y mi team fall 2 bitz? |
| S Cummings: | I iz out ov heah! Bai, TD Gendt! |
| TD Gendt: | Arse! |
| T $ky: | O hai, TD Gendt! |
| TD Gendt: | FFS! Y everyone picking on me? |
| W Barguil: | MOAR spottyjumper points 4 meeeeeeeeee! Yay! |
| Bethany (7): | w00t! Even tho ur not mi dad after all! |
| C Gautier: | Hello clouds hello sky hello mud! Oops! Back 2 teh pelican! |
| Up teh Peyresourde… |
| M Nieve: | WTF! Where did teh road go? |
| C Froome: | Never a dull moment, eh, readers! |
| Omnes: | U only had 2 ride yesterday’s stage, C Froome, not watch it! |
| N Quintana: | O hai! Mi naem iz I Montoya N Quintana! U killed mi father! And now u haz killed me. 2 DETH! Piss! |
| S Cummings: | Bum! L8rs! |
| Bethany (7): | I’m home! This iz MOAR liek it! Keep ur eye on that F Aru, C Froome! Tiem bonuses! |
| C Froome: | Ur nana & eggses, Bethany (7)! |
| Bethany (7): | Mi nana wouldn’t even recognise a eggs 2 tiems out ov 3! |
| Up teh Péragude… |
| A Contador: | O hai! How far iz it 2 Spaign-o from here? |
| F Aru: | Arooooooo! Ect. Oh. |
| R Bardet: | Yay! |
| C Froome: | WTF? |
| F Aru: | \o/ Shinyjumper 4 meeeeeeee! |
| Bethany (7): | That’s gonna liven things up a bit, innit! |
