Bethany (7): | mum mum wots orl dis bout u &… [FX: Slap (fortissimo)] |
Bethany (7): | (Starts crying) |
Bethany’s Mum: | I tole u! I fukn tole u abaht torkin’ 2 strangerz! I’ll give u sumfing 2 cry abaht, u nosy little ho! I wish I’d never’ad u! Nah fck off 2 skool! |
Bethany (7): | It’s teh holibobz! Going 2 5’s… (Aside…) Fukn c-o-w! |
| […] |
G Imlach: | O hai! It iz I, TV’s G Imlach, quipster par excellence! Spare a thort 4 teh 3 rubbish climbs on 2da’s stage, rendered non-elephant by W Barguil, may his House be Free from Tigers! Knicker-gripping stuff yesterday, right kids? |
C Froome: | Blah blah M Landa blah R Urán blah blah R Bardet blah time trial. Blah. |
G Imlach: | T Sunweb! |
M Matthews: | Yay! Snottyjumper! |
CP Sagan: | Gertcha! |
G Imlach: | Break? Sprint? Loonie? |
NC Boardman: | T Sunweb. M Matthews. |
G Imlach: | B-Dog. A Greipel? |
Omnes: | MUNKEH!!1! |
| […] |
N Boulting: | O hai! Guess it’s going 2 be MOAR châteaux, churches and lunch 2da! |
SD Millar: | O hai! Shall I talk about hydro-electrickery? |
N Boulting: | Not if u want 2 live! |
SD Millar: | Today’s word iz “opportunity”. OPP-OT-TU-NI-TY! Game theory! |
N Boulting: | Who would begrudge B-Dog a win 2da? |
M Matthews: | Me 4 starters! |
A Greipel: | Me 2! |
Omnes: | MUNKEH!!1! |
| […] |
N Boulting: | Ur l8 agane, C Prudhomme! |
C Prudhomme: | OK! Off u fck! PT Voeckler, la France expects ect ect! |
PT Voeckler: | Nah! |
S Cummings: | Bide, bide, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! |
N Boulting: | Bridge! |
C Lion: | w00t! |
| […] |
5’s Mummy: | Air hellay, Bethany! Good heavens, what on earth happened 2 u? |
Bethany (7): | Walktinnaradormissispoulidorfanshaw… |
5’s Mummy: | Syrah! |
5: | Air hellay Mummy o hai bef’ny! Mai poney haz swallowed hiz bit, Mummy, and Ai cannot find teh spanner! |
5’s Mummy: | Not agane, dahling! Ai suppose Ai’ll have 2 Get A Man In! |
5: | Soooooper! OK, bef’ny, lessgo watch teh Tour! Can we take some kumquats, Mummy? |
| […] |
N Boulting: | Dam! Very big! SCIENCE figures concrete and clay! |
SD Millar: | Ur numbers, ***, they mean nothing 2 me! |
Omnes: | Oh Vienna LOL! |
SD Millar: | (Sulks) |
N Blackwell: | (Sings) Midge Ure, looks liek a milk thief! |
SD Millar: | Team classification! T $ky! |
N Boulting: | Break. Broken. PT Voeckler? TD Gendt? |
| […] |
N Boulting: | Big break! Usual suspects! w00t! |
SD Millar: | Teh winner iz in teh break because I, TV’s Super D Millar, say so! Snottyjumper Australia E Zabel! |
| [An awful lot l8r…] |
N Boulting: | Salade Niçoise! What did u have 4 lunch, TV’s Nice C Boardman? |
NC Boardman: | Can’t remember! |
N Boulting: | Last climb. Launchpaddy1! |
Omnes: | R Porte on D Martin? Irish space programme roffle? |
Bethany (7): | That was rubbish! |
N Boulting: | Shut! Up! Wind! |
NC Boardman: | Thunderstorm? |
N Boulting: | B-Dog! La Thing? |
NC Boardman: | Yes. No. Bugadifino! |
T Things: | Oi! |
| […] |
N Boulting: | Provence! Très Provençy2! And now TV’s M Rendall will baffle us with cabbages and rhinoceroses in teh kitchen and incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through teh mouthpiece ov Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head! 4 all teh sense anyone can make ov it. |
M Rendall: | O hai! Frecce Tricolore Pavarotti! Whoooosh! |
N Boulting: | Not in 1903 though! |
M Rendall: | Nyet! Caramba son Frank Whittle der Futuroscope! Bagot-Mazurie! Fandabbidozi, Fandabbisneezy, Wünderschönigrumpy! Bashful Nostradamus B-Dog sieg aujour d’hui. Punque stein bouzouki elettro! Bai! |
SD Millar: | Has he gone yet? |
N Boulting: | Alliance in break? Break off break? Race within race. Wheels within wheels. B-Dog? |
GV Avermaet: | Don’t listen 2 those idiots, B-Dog! |
| [After an interminable amount ov sod-all…] |
TD Gendt: | White line fever! Snottypoints! |
N Boulting: | Rabies! |
SD Millar: | Puppy-dog! Back 2 slepe 4 me! |
| […] |
Omnes: | Oooh! Hullo clouds, hullo sky! Rain? C Boardmen! |
NC Boardman: | ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! |
EC Boardman: | Oh, I do hope so! |
| [After ML Maire’s afternoon nap…] |
SD Millar: | B Swift! |
N Boulting: | Everyone else in teh break! B-Dog! B Mollema long range! |
SD Millar: | B-Dog. S Calamityjane? |
L Calamityjane: | Did he call me Len “Sue” again? U better kepe out ov dark alleys, SD Millar! |
T Moviestar: | Lights, camera, action! Tiem 4 our close-up! |
B-Dog: | O hai! I don’t think so. Woof woof! Sausages! |
SD Millar: | Look, see, teh break iz b0rked! TD Gendt! J Bakelite! |
Omnes: | Wnkr! |
Bethany (7): | Fukn wnkr! |
| (Dicking about…) |
N Arndt: | Ur turn, whoever iz behind m… oh! Piss! |
B-Dog: | \o/ Waiting 4 teh sprint iz 4 teh kittehs roffle! Sausages! |
M Kitteh (via Instabook): | I heard that! Also, miaow! |
N Arndt: | U utter GIT, EB Hagen! |
Bethany (7): | Swings & roundabouts LOL!!1! |