Once upon a time in a far away frozen kingdom there lived a young princeling with a dream. He dreamt of living in a place of sunshine, full of new creatures and men who kept their tops on when the temperature got above freezing, a land where eating a parmo with a fork was not considered snobbish - either that or he wanted to be a wizard.
Forty summers have passed since he dreamt those dreams and the princeling is now a proper grown up with a beard and everything. Hogwarts never did send that owl but he clung onto his dreams.
Now, as he travels through the lanes of Essex on one of his increasingly expensive stable of bikes with the perpetual sunshine warming his back, his mind is never far away from his one true love. When he met Annette he was smitten, he couldn't imagine living a second more without her. The fact that Annette was an Alpaca just made it all the more thrilling.
Jiber's new love was not the only exciting news at the Monkey last night however.
I arrived on time just behind George V to find that everyone else was already in situ and suspiciously far into their pints for people who were supposed to be arriving at 9. It seems that more miles less beer may have been misread by OD. As well as OD we had Tippers, Hotblack, Huggy, the Lord Jiber, the Anarchist, Slipgate, psyclist and Oros. The other exciting news was that it was Slipgate's 40th birthday. OD did try to buy him a pickled egg with a candle in it but the Monkey has gone posh so the best they could probably have done was a truffle with some foie gras shaped into a 40.
Before the talk descended into what Jiber and Annette get up to, we covered Alpine adventures, the Fridays' ride and luggage combinations. We then had a heated debate about forward planning
As we stuck to one beer again all night, the Quaffers' Choice was another walkover, this one in favour of Mighty Oak's Maldon Gold. Slipgate went off piste with a Birra Moretti and Hotblack and the Kaiser went rogue at the end with cocktails (probably, they were huddled at the bar and we couldn't see what they were up to).
It was noticeably colder arriving and leaving. That long mile home almost made us feel bad for pscylist as he trudged back across the county.
Another big night for the fixed wheel chapter. If Jiber hadn't been so keen to show of his very smart new steed, it would have been only two riders with gears.
Chelmsford beer festival next week.