Two minutes. TWO MINUTES!
If I wanted my work PC all ready for action at 9am, I'd have to get up at 8.45 am, build a time machine, use that time machine to take my PC back to the late Cretaceous period and then, once there, press the 'on' button and leave it (importantly in the place that my office will occupy in about 65 million years' time) pausing only to punch a nosy triceratops before travelling back to the future. It should just about have just about booted to the Windows XP desktop when I get back. I ask our IT staff if they think it's right that I have to punch a triceratops every morning just to have a functional PC and they just mutter on about upgrade cycles and the fact that I should perhaps be due a new computer on the eve of the universe's entropic flatline. If Dell could make something powered by steam and running Windows 1888, that's probably what I would have.
I hibernate the bloody thing because I just don't have the patience for a full restart and building a time machine is actually harder than it looks, particularly first thing in the morning. I could have downloaded every byte of p0rn on the internet in the time it takes to cold start. If I hibernate it every night and schedule it to start at 8.30, it might be awake for 9 am, or it might simply have crashed because it's taken exception to something, like being woken up. Plus it sounds like a curling team on amphetamines are attacking the hard disk with industrial floor sanders when it tries to remember just what happened the day before. I pressed the 'hibernate' button. Remember that you piece of good for nothing silicon shit?
I only use the gone-wrong Kebabbage engine for Outlook which is an entire another source of pain, like having angry rats in my eyeballs.
