Super-Twat

[Beardy]

HMRC. Situation in our family where the adage about death and taxes applies. Want Probate? We want our tax UPFRONT please. Cant pay it even tho' there is money in the estate to pay it? Get a bridging loan or pay HMRC 2.5% over base rate for 10 years (other time periods may be available). Oh and by the way the tax is due at the end of 6 months since the date of death, so you had better get a move on.

This happened to my mother when her parents died. To complicate matters my grandmother died 6 weeks after my grandfather thus rendering them 2 separated events which had to be dealt with sequentially, with probate on my g’father’s estate having to be completed before HMRC would deign to consider my g’mother to have died.

Quite by chance the amount of cash Jim the bank happened to equal that which the tax man wanted, but as you say, before they would release the estate the death duties had to be paid, and the bank would NOT consider the cash in their vaults as security for the loan. Talk about racketeering.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Novak Djokovic

[rogerzilla]

Novak Djokovic

Novaxx Djokovic

[citoyen]

Novaxx Djokovic

Ha! You beat me to it.

My wife watches a thing on one of the digital channels about Australian border control officers. They’re bastards. Only a complete idiot would try to pull the wool over their eyes.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Novaxx Djokovic

Ha! You beat me to it.

My wife watches a thing on one of the digital channels about Australian border control officers. They’re bastards. Only a complete idiot would try to pull the wool over their eyes.

They have less sense of humour than US border officers, and a sense of righteousness that is almost religious.

That said, internal biosecurity in Australia has helped save industries. WA used to have internal border checks for fruit (to prevent spread of fruit fly and other pests). They were very very serious; we'd be driving somewhere and the order came from my parents to "finish that apple and check under the seats for any fruit."

Add Johnny Depp and Amber Heard to the list of idiots.

[ElyDave]

Novaxx Djokovic

Ha! You beat me to it.

My wife watches a thing on one of the digital channels about Australian border control officers. They’re bastards. Only a complete idiot would try to pull the wool over their eyes.

They have less sense of humour than US border officers, and a sense of righteousness that is almost religious.

That said, internal biosecurity in Australia has helped save industries. WA used to have internal border checks for fruit (to prevent spread of fruit fly and other pests). They were very very serious; we'd be driving somewhere and the order came from my parents to "finish that apple and check under the seats for any fruit."

Add Johnny Depp and Amber Heard to the list of idiots.

Yep, I got snagged by that one, had an apple in my bag that I got on the flight and was saving for later.  Sniffer dog, very disapproving looks, explanation from me, more disapproving looks.

"Follow me"

I mentally prepared for the rubber glove treatment. Followed the guy about 50 yards.

"put it in there" he said pointing at a bin full of other contraband. Stamped my visa and off I went.

Very much seemed like an exercise designed to intimidate.  I won't make that mistake again.

Still, no worse than my mate arriving with me in Baku.  We were arriving on the Sunday to start work on the Monday.  Letter of invite giving the start date, he puts the Monday in his visa application.  They shepherd him (and a bunch of others) aside and make him wait at the border for the next 4 hours, meanwhile I'm off to the hotel for dinner.

[Mr Larrington]

Novaxx Djokovic

Ha! You beat me to it.

My wife watches a thing on one of the digital channels about Australian border control officers. They’re bastards. Only a complete idiot would try to pull the wool over their eyes.

They have less sense of humour than US border officers, and a sense of righteousness that is almost religious.

That said, internal biosecurity in Australia has helped save industries. WA used to have internal border checks for fruit (to prevent spread of fruit fly and other pests). They were very very serious; we'd be driving somewhere and the order came from my parents to "finish that apple and check under the seats for any fruit."

Add Johnny Depp and Amber Heard to the list of idiots.

They still do checks on the main road at the SA/WA border for various things, depending on which way one is travelling, and woe betide a truckie if the piece of machinery he's hauling bears traces of out-of-state dirt or any punter who has certain varieties of $TOOTHY_COMESTIBLE about their vehicle.  I've seen it on the telly an' evryfink

California does similar, though not at every crossing, while Washington just puts up signs requesting that you don’t bring your own apples into their apple-molishing areas.

[andrewc]

Tory MP Andrew Rotinhell,  who wants the national dirge played every day on the BBC. 

[TimC]

Novaxx Djokovic

Ha! You beat me to it.

My wife watches a thing on one of the digital channels about Australian border control officers. They’re bastards. Only a complete idiot would try to pull the wool over their eyes.

They have less sense of humour than US border officers, and a sense of righteousness that is almost religious.

That said, internal biosecurity in Australia has helped save industries. WA used to have internal border checks for fruit (to prevent spread of fruit fly and other pests). They were very very serious; we'd be driving somewhere and the order came from my parents to "finish that apple and check under the seats for any fruit."

Add Johnny Depp and Amber Heard to the list of idiots.

They still do checks on the main road at the SA/WA border for various things, depending on which way one is travelling, and woe betide a truckie if the piece of machinery he's hauling bears traces of out-of-state dirt or any punter who has certain varieties of $TOOTHY_COMESTIBLE about their vehicle.  I've seen it on the telly an' evryfink

California does similar, though not at every crossing, while Washington just puts up signs requesting that you don’t bring your own apples into their apple-molishing areas.

I’ve fallen foul of Australian Border Control. I made the mistake of carrying a travel guitar into the country. First, they gave me a very hard time for not having a certificate of renewable forestry sourcing. I got round that by directing them to the Traveler Guitar website. Then they made me surrender the truss rod Allen key. I asked why? ‘You might try to take the aircraft apart’ quoth they. ‘I’m the Captain’ said I, ‘the clue’s in the uniform’. Stony-faced silence. I gave up the tool.

[Mr Larrington]

Tory MP Andrew Rotinhell,  who wants the national dirge played every day on the BBC.

And presumably bugging devices in every home and workplace so we don’t switch off, change channel or engage in other unpotatriotic behaviours?  Last time this one surfaced those wacky japesters on “Newsnight” obliged the fleg-nonces by showing archive footage of a pre-Gammon J Rotten and his spiky-haired chums.  We mean it, maaaaaaan!

[chrisbainbridge]

We got caught in 1988 with an open packet of baby food.  We were allowed to take the unopened packet of identical food but had to dispose of the opened packet.

[Legs]

I’ve fallen foul of Australian Border Control. I made the mistake of carrying a travel guitar into the country. First, they gave me a very hard time for not having a certificate of renewable forestry sourcing. I got round that by directing them to the Traveler Guitar website. Then they made me surrender the truss rod Allen key. I asked why? ‘You might try to take the aircraft apart’ quoth they. ‘I’m the Captain’ said I, ‘the clue’s in the uniform’. Stony-faced silence. I gave up the tool.

Brilliant!

[Mr Larrington]

I’ve fallen foul of Australian Border Control. I made the mistake of carrying a travel guitar into the country. First, they gave me a very hard time for not having a certificate of renewable forestry sourcing. I got round that by directing them to the Traveler Guitar website. Then they made me surrender the truss rod Allen key. I asked why? ‘You might try to take the aircraft apart’ quoth they. ‘I’m the Captain’ said I, ‘the clue’s in the uniform’. Stony-faced silence. I gave up the tool.

You should’ve told 'em that you were the Flight Engineer* and therefore you might be in need of said tool in case you needed to mend an engine somewhere over the Great Bugger-all

* Yes, I do know that flight engineers are a relic of a bygone era and are on the WWF's Critically Endangered list…

[TimC]

I’ve fallen foul of Australian Border Control. I made the mistake of carrying a travel guitar into the country. First, they gave me a very hard time for not having a certificate of renewable forestry sourcing. I got round that by directing them to the Traveler Guitar website. Then they made me surrender the truss rod Allen key. I asked why? ‘You might try to take the aircraft apart’ quoth they. ‘I’m the Captain’ said I, ‘the clue’s in the uniform’. Stony-faced silence. I gave up the tool.

You should’ve told 'em that you were the Flight Engineer* and therefore you might be in need of said tool in case you needed to mend an engine somewhere over the Great Bugger-all

* Yes, I do know that flight engineers are a relic of a bygone era and are on the WWF's Critically Endangered list…

I spent the first 30-odd years of my career flying with flight engineers on the C130 and 747-200. I suspect that the reaction of most of them would have been to demonstrate how they could disassemble a Border Control officer without the use of tools.

[Tim Hall]

I had to stand in the queueueue of suspected biosecuruity villains when I arrived at Sydney airport, as I was bringing in some Bovril for my sister.

"Bovril?" asked the nice border person. "What is it?"

My jet lagged brain paused for a while.

"It's like Vegemite. But made from cows."

[Mr Larrington]

I had to stand in the queueueue of suspected biosecuruity villains when I arrived at Sydney airport, as I was bringing in some Bovril for my sister.

"Bovril?" asked the nice border person. "What is it?"

My jet lagged brain paused for a while.

"It's like Vegemite. But made from cows."

 

[hatler]

Tory MP Andrew Rotinhell,  who wants the national dirge played every day on the BBC. 

Well, he truly is a Super Twat, 'cos it is, every night, as R4 closes down at 1am.

[drgannet]

Every Tory MP who is saying that the jury verdict clearing the 4 accused of criminal damage to the Bristol Colsten statue is wrong, just because it gave an answer they don't like (and this government is a staunch upholder of the law, right?). Unusally, Jacob Ress-Mogg wins an exclusion from this category, accoring to the BBC https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-59893024.

Also, every Tory MP saying that people like the 4 acquited are trying to change history or re-write history. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HISTORY, BY DEFINITION. A particularly pernicious message. Especially from our illustrious leader, BSJ.

[Mr Larrington]

The gubbinsment is a staunch upholder of the law in a limited and specific way.

Note to Brandon Lewis: if even TV's G Imlach takes the piss out of your phraseology perhaps it’s time to consider shutting the fuck up?

[ElyDave]

Novaxx Djokovic

Ha! You beat me to it.

My wife watches a thing on one of the digital channels about Australian border control officers. They’re bastards. Only a complete idiot would try to pull the wool over their eyes.

They have less sense of humour than US border officers, and a sense of righteousness that is almost religious.

That said, internal biosecurity in Australia has helped save industries. WA used to have internal border checks for fruit (to prevent spread of fruit fly and other pests). They were very very serious; we'd be driving somewhere and the order came from my parents to "finish that apple and check under the seats for any fruit."

Add Johnny Depp and Amber Heard to the list of idiots.

They still do checks on the main road at the SA/WA border for various things, depending on which way one is travelling, and woe betide a truckie if the piece of machinery he's hauling bears traces of out-of-state dirt or any punter who has certain varieties of $TOOTHY_COMESTIBLE about their vehicle.  I've seen it on the telly an' evryfink

California does similar, though not at every crossing, while Washington just puts up signs requesting that you don’t bring your own apples into their apple-molishing areas.

I’ve fallen foul of Australian Border Control. I made the mistake of carrying a travel guitar into the country. First, they gave me a very hard time for not having a certificate of renewable forestry sourcing. I got round that by directing them to the Traveler Guitar website. Then they made me surrender the truss rod Allen key. I asked why? ‘You might try to take the aircraft apart’ quoth they. ‘I’m the Captain’ said I, ‘the clue’s in the uniform’. Stony-faced silence. I gave up the tool.

I lost a Swiss Army knife on the same basis (not in Aus, departing UK), but they let me post it back to myself, envelopes thoughtfully provided in a vending machine.

[citoyen]

Unusally, Jacob Ress-Mogg wins an exclusion from this category

You're being too generous. It comes down to motive, and I believe his motives to be the wrong ones. He's a classic right-wing libertarian.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE HISTORY, BY DEFINITION.

1984 was a documentary, you know.

[Beardy]

.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE HISTORY, BY DEFINITION.

1984 was a documentary, you know.

it certainly feels like it these days

[Mr Larrington]

On the first anniversary of the storming of the USAnian Congress, may I nominate wannabe Congresscritter and Super-Twat-in-waiting Joe Kent, who has described those arrested at the aforementioned assault as “political prisoners” rather than, say, “fruitcakes, conspiraloons and general wingnuts”.

[Polar Bear]

Piggy tries to rewrite history almost every time that he steps up to the dispatch box.  In fact, I hear a rumour that they are thinking of renaming it as the Dishonesty Box to appease the fascists.

[Mr Larrington]

Piggy tries to rewrite history almost every time that he steps up to the dispatch box.  In fact, I hear a rumour that they are thinking of renaming it as the Dishonesty Box to appease the fascists.

If they had to put a shiny BRITONS' pound in the Dishonesty Box every time one of them told a porkie the deficit would disappear within weeks.