A random thread for food things that don't really warrant a thread of their own

[SteveC]

The reason you can't get a rare burger in the UK is a food safety issue. Bacteria grow on the surface of meat, not inside. With mince, there's a lot of surface and most of it ends up inside the burger. So all the burger must be heated to a temperature to kill the bugs, not just the outside. With a steak, the bugs can't get into the interior, so just cooking the outside is OK.
I am told that in France it is much more common to mince the meat immediately before cooking it (or not cooking in the case of steak tartare) so there is less of an issue. Has anyone had tartare in this country in the past few years?

[ian]

Let's face it, burgers are a bit disappointing. I've not had a McDs for years (I think the last time was when we rolled up in a random Dutch town at quarter-past late and that was the choice). I don't remember them being half bad, a reasonable balance between bread and filling, though it's true that even if you eat five, you're still hungry five minutes later (trust me, I tested that theory). I'm not sure how that works. I once ate 12 of those little White Castle burgers in WV. Though everything in WV is a bit odd. Like someone gave the world a bit of a kick.

Gourmet burgers are the worst. Hamburgers shouldn't be gourmet food, they're things to be scoffed on the move, a cook's convenience. Random beef bits, mushed up and dropped on the grill. Add a slice of cheese (preferably food product), tomato, a pickle, and put it all to bed in a toasted sesame seed bun.

But no, they have to fuck with it. I don't want chorizo in my burger. I don't want a burger so big it has its own gravity. It's a patty, not a football. I don't want beetroot and fried eggs on it. If I want to push the boat out, I'll take the lettuce. I don't need to know the cow's name and star sign. I'm not planning to marry it, I'm planning on eating it. I don't want to use five napkins, that's not a burger, it's the fucking Exxon Valdez. And cook them properly. If you don't trust the damn meat unless it's been through a nuclear fire, I don't either.

Weirdly, I like gourmet sausage rolls, proper porky sausages and flaky pastry. Just don't put goat cheese in them as it's the curdled spunk of a demon.

[Mr Larrington]

I'm minded to go vegan myself and reckon I could live without meat, but vegan cheese substitutes are disgusting and that's a major hurdle for me.

The look on the face of TV's Christian Fraser when called upon to taste some vegan cheez-flavored food product during last night's "Beyond 100 Days" suggests you are far from the only one.  Even TV's Chris Packham's dog turned his nose up at it.

[Andrij]

O noes!  Seems the Gammonariat are up in arms about this: Greggs launches vegan sausage roll.

Needless to say, everyone's least-favourite colossal bellend had to get in on the act.

Apologies for going off-topic, but I'd love to know the identify of everyone's most-favourite colossal bellend.

[Kim]

Apologies for going off-topic, but I'd love to know the identify of everyone's most-favourite colossal bellend.

Put me down for Elon Musk.

[ian]

I'm minded to go vegan myself and reckon I could live without meat, but vegan cheese substitutes are disgusting and that's a major hurdle for me.

The look on the face of TV's Christian Fraser when called upon to taste some vegan cheez-flavored food product during last night's "Beyond 100 Days" suggests you are far from the only one.  Even TV's Chris Packham's dog turned his nose up at it.

The only vegan cheese I've tried recently tasted exactly like playdough. And like most boys, I have actually tasted playdough. OK, playdough was better. I once had some 'artisanal' cheese made with avocado. It was California, and they shit avocado there, and I think this case that was exactly what they had done. Then mixed it with plaster of paris and added a pint of vinegar. It was like guacamole gone so wrong that it had fled to Mexico to escape the authorities. When they finally caught up with it, they found it had been hiding in a damp cellar for a year. They should have simply bricked up the doorway and left it there. Less a cheese, more a crime against humanity.

I also couldn't be vegan for that very reason. Cheddar is the divine. They use it to build the palaces in Heaven. Edible palaces. You can take a bite, the angels don't even mind. They encourage it. It is, after all, Heaven. The worst thing about Hell. on the other hand, is the 'vegan cheeseboard.' You don't want to know how they make the stilton.

And speaking of cheesy awesome, I have just been handed a six pack of Cheddars. But wait, Red Leicester Cheddars. The way to my heart is (probably literally) paved with cheese.

[hellymedic]

Cholla is very common in Poland, where it's called chałka, but I've never come across one that wasn't vaguely sweet and I don't think I've ever heard of anyone eating it with meat either. Which isn't to say it wouldn't go.

Cholla or its sometimes sliced sister bulka, make excellent meat sandwiches. The bread contains flour with proper gluten and loads of egg, so it holds together well. As orthodox Jews won't combine dairy with meat, I'm used to lots of mayonnaise.

[hellymedic]

Let's face it, burgers are a bit disappointing. I've not had a McDs for years (I think the last time was when we rolled up in a random Dutch town at quarter-past late and that was the choice). I don't remember them being half bad, a reasonable balance between bread and filling, though it's true that even if you eat five, you're still hungry five minutes later (trust me, I tested that theory). I'm not sure how that works. I once ate 12 of those little White Castle burgers in WV. Though everything in WV is a bit odd. Like someone gave the world a bit of a kick.

I had a 'Classic' burger and 'skinny fries' last night at our Whitbread hostelry and enjoyed this, probably because it was many months since I'd had this kind of food and I was hungry.

I don't think I'd want a burger more than around four times per year.

[citoyen]

The reason you can't get a rare burger in the UK is a food safety issue.

You're hitting on precisely the reason why I highlighted the fact that you can get a steak tartare in a French fast food chain but you can't get a rare burger in a supposedly specialist burger restaurant in the UK.

I am told that in France it is much more common to mince the meat immediately before cooking it

This should be true of any reputable restaurant anywhere in the world. It's not rocket science. And the fact that UK burger restaurants don't trust their chefs enough to serve a rare burger is pretty damning.

Has anyone had tartare in this country in the past few years?

Yes. Amazingly, there are still some restaurants in this country that know how to prepare meat safely. Unsurprisngly, the 'gourmet' burger chains are not among them. But what would you expect of people who think it's a good idea to serve a burger in a fucking brioche?

[Ham]

.... what would you expect of people who think it's a good idea to serve a burger in a fucking brioche?

That one of Rogerz's toys?

Part of the reason you see so few tartares on the menu of even decent restaurants is that "raw stuff" has never been high on the wish list of restaurant clientele in the UK. Sushi started to change that, but I suspect (actually, know) that many don't realise they may be eating raw fish. When combined with poor appreciation of hygiene in cooking, the overall quality of meat in supermarkets and many restaurants and it is no real surprise we have Teh Fear of a rare steak, let alone à saignant.

[ian]

I don't especially want a raw burger, but equally I don't want it cooked so much that it's basically a grey chew-toy. Somewhere in the middle would be nice. I'd expect a generic burger chain or a basic pub to just nuke stuff, but if you are setting up your stand as a 'gourmet' burger restaurant and charging over a decade for a sandwich, well, I don't think it's a big ask that I can get the burger cooked to my liking.

ETA: reminds me, we ranted extensively (ok, I did) about burgers in the food rant thread. Also reminds me about the awful pub meal I had before Christmas which richly deserves a rant.

[lou boutin]

I'm not sure why people who chose not to eat meat, would eat something that looks and tastes like meat. 

People are vegan for lots of different reasons, sometimes in spite of enjoying the taste of meat.

I'm minded to go vegan myself and reckon I could live without meat, but vegan cheese substitutes are disgusting and that's a major hurdle for me.

Vegan cheese is also full of palm oil. 

[lou boutin]

I can understand pulled [insert meat of choice].

'Pulled soya'? WTF!!!

A vegan friend has been banging on about Vegan Pulled Pork? which is suspect is similar.    

[Cudzoziemiec]

Whereas vegan milks bear some sort of relationship to dairy milk, vegan cheese has nothing in common at all – not even colour – with the cow version. Admittedly I've only had it once, but I hope never to do so again.

[lou boutin]

Most vegans use a yeast product that has a cheesy taste to cook with.   I've had vegan cheese scones - they were lovely!!

[hulver]

I can understand pulled [insert meat of choice].

'Pulled soya'? WTF!!!

A vegan friend has been banging on about Vegan Pulled Pork? which is suspect is similar.   

Made from Jack fruit, I saw it on the TV last night. Supposed to actually be pretty good.

[essexian]

I can understand pulled [insert meat of choice].

'Pulled soya'? WTF!!!

A vegan friend has been banging on about Vegan Pulled Pork? which is suspect is similar.   

Made from Jack fruit, I saw it on the TV last night. Supposed to actually be pretty good.

The Linda McCartney pulled "pork" burgers are indeed very good.

https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/linda-mccartneys-2-vegetarian-pulled-pork-1-4lb-burgers/682337-493118-493119

Hummm....that's tonights tea decided!

[lou boutin]

I can understand pulled [insert meat of choice].

'Pulled soya'? WTF!!!

A vegan friend has been banging on about Vegan Pulled Pork? which is suspect is similar.   

Made from Jack fruit, I saw it on the TV last night. Supposed to actually be pretty good.

The Linda McCartney pulled "pork" burgers are indeed very good.

https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/linda-mccartneys-2-vegetarian-pulled-pork-1-4lb-burgers/682337-493118-493119

Hummm....that's tonights tea decided!

I am one of those vegetarians who doesn't like things that look like meat.  My idea of a sausages sandwich is with these https://groceries.asda.com/product/sausages-burgers-grills/asda-vegetarian-6-vegetable-sausages/910002630362

[Cudzoziemiec]

From the Graun:

There is nothing on the average tub of whey protein to suggest it ever came from cheese, let alone from a cow.

Where the hell else would it come from if not a cow? (Okay, it could be from a sheep, goat, buffalo or any other mammal, but cow is by far the most likely. Do people – at least in traditionally milk-drinking parts of the world – really not know that whey is a component of milk?) Also, it's not really from cheese, is it? It's a byproduct of the cheese-making process.

And on another note from the same article:

According to 2015 data from the UN Food and Agriculture Organization, the average person in the US and Canada gets a full 90g a day, nearly twice the recommended amount (based on a supposedly normal adult weight of 62kg).

I wonder where they get that 62kg from? Perhaps it's a theoretical worldwide figure, not making allowances for N.Americans being (even when not overweight) bigger than that global average?
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2019/jan/04/protein-mania-the-rich-worlds-new-diet-obsession

[ElyDave]

Teh Dutch are the largest (tallest) population on average, not sure about by weight.

Does the 62kg include the whole population i.e. children as well?  I'm not a big bloke and I'm above that at 65.7kg this morning

[Cudzoziemiec]

It says "normal adult weight" so not children. The Dutch might be bigger than Americans but I'd think the difference between them would be less than between Americans and eg Indians or Vietnamese.

[ian]

I doubt many people know what whey is. I just asked my wife and she looked puzzled and then ran out of the house (presumably to her exercise class, but who knows). I'm not sure many people could tell you how cheese is made. They probably think it just comes out of a cow ready sliced. Or they extract it from Cheddars.

If we understood food, I suspect we wouldn't be in such a mess. Consuming vast amount of protein is a bit bonkers if you're not, say, a tiger. I'm not picking a dietary argument with a tiger.

[Pickled Onion]

The reason you can't get a rare burger in the UK is a food safety issue. Bacteria grow on the surface of meat, not inside. With mince, there's a lot of surface and most of it ends up inside the burger. So all the burger must be heated to a temperature to kill the bugs, not just the outside. With a steak, the bugs can't get into the interior, so just cooking the outside is OK.
I am told that in France it is much more common to mince the meat immediately before cooking it (or not cooking in the case of steak tartare) so there is less of an issue. Has anyone had tartare in this country in the past few years?

There's a hipster burger place near my current place of work which sells "rare" burgers. It's got a hygiene rating of 1/5. 

[Quint]

The reason you can't get a rare burger in the UK is a food safety issue. Bacteria grow on the surface of meat, not inside. With mince, there's a lot of surface and most of it ends up inside the burger. So all the burger must be heated to a temperature to kill the bugs, not just the outside. With a steak, the bugs can't get into the interior, so just cooking the outside is OK.
I am told that in France it is much more common to mince the meat immediately before cooking it (or not cooking in the case of steak tartare) so there is less of an issue. Has anyone had tartare in this country in the past few years?

             Proper Steak Tartare is actually chopped fillet of Beef (and of course you are right) immediately before serving, possibly the egg might be more (shall we say) dodgy.

[Cudzoziemiec]

TBH whey is a bit unpleasant to eat (I'm talking about liquid whey, as in peasant food) but the curds are tasty.