The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[robgul]

I went swimming before work and forgot to take a bra.


Yes I know bras aren't compulsory and women shouldn't feel they have to wear them but I'm a big woman and I'm not comfortable in a work environment without

Duct tape is your friend 

[Ham]

Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?

[Beardy]

Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?

Age! It’s a sign. You’re getting old. 

[Basil]

Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?

Age! It’s a sign. You’re getting old. 

No, you don't have to be old.  My son once made macaroni cheese, but forgot the macaroni.

[T42]

Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?

Age! It’s a sign. You’re getting old. 

No, you don't have to be old.  My son once made macaroni cheese, but forgot the macaroni.

Not so forgettable afterwards thobut.

[T42]

Yes well.  Absolutely beautiful cycling day, 15°C with a max of 28° forecast and light wind.  But no, must get on with the barn door.  Went out after breakfast, got set up and drove screws for a solid hour, inside to out. Then MrsT comes home from shopping, looks at what I've done and says "but you already did those from the other side".

Closed everything up, came in, had an espresso. Have to go get some more screws now mañana. Nah, Wednesday. Or next week. Fuck it.

[matthew]

I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.

Hadn't appeared before it was time to leave on Monday afternoon so I suspect that it was being used by someone till the end of the festival. Unfortunately we left before they handed it in.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Took the top plate off the diesel stove last night; this involves jamming a screwdriver down a hole, wedging it, and lifting enough to get a hand under.

Slipped with the screwdriver and dropped it on my finger, didn't I?

Thought I'd broken it at first - the top is about 10kg.  Seems to just be bruised. Thank goodness I'd had the sense to put some gloves on first.

Div.

[hatler]

A full tube of tomato paste dropped out of the fridge as I opened the door. Instinctive reaction was to stop it hitting the deck with my (bare) foot. Ouch.

[citoyen]

A full tube of tomato paste dropped out of the fridge as I opened the door. Instinctive reaction was to stop it hitting the deck with my (bare) foot. Ouch.

At least it wasn't salad cream

[Cudzoziemiec]

I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.

Oh dear, ED, please tell us you had forgotten it at a wayside coffee stop, not that you were danglemugging. 

[hatler]

A full tube of tomato paste dropped out of the fridge as I opened the door. Instinctive reaction was to stop it hitting the deck with my (bare) foot. Ouch.

At least it wasn't salad cream

Owwwwww!

[ElyDave]

I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.

Oh dear, ED, please tell us you had forgotten it at a wayside coffee stop, not that you were danglemugging. 

I was on tour, of course I was danglemugging 

[T42]

Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.

Oh dear, ED, please tell us you had forgotten it at a wayside coffee stop, not that you were danglemugging. 

I was on tour, of course I was danglemugging 

Okay, totally serious question: Don't you find the mug gets muddy or dusty, depending on weather and terrain? Also, doesn't it "clink" as it dangles and comes into contact with luggage. bits of bike frame, or whatever?

[hatler]

Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

Is there a right bit ?

[Kim]

Okay, totally serious question: Don't you find the mug gets muddy or dusty, depending on weather and terrain? Also, doesn't it "clink" as it dangles and comes into contact with luggage. bits of bike frame, or whatever?

On the few occasions that I've been mugpacking^[1], I've found that dust accumulation was a minor issue, though that was on-road in dry weather.  Really needs a little draw-string bag that isn't the mesh one that Alpkit provided.


_{[1] Mug strapped to a random bit of bike frame, with brew-up kit inside.}

[rafletcher]

Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?

[Beardy]

Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?

Normally only the ‘right’ bit of his shorts apparently

[Tim Hall]

Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?

Normally only the ‘right’ bit of his shorts apparently

Laquer on the knackers is best avoided.

[Kim]

Just did that thing again where my spidey sense belatedly alerted me to a crime in progress ("Hang on - is that the sound of a power drill punctuating that car alarm?"), and proceeded to watch like an idiot without the aid of  a) my glasses  or  b) a camera.

From the conversation I overheard afterwards, it sounds like a passerby got a registration number, which is a lot more useful than the "They went thattaway" that I could contribute.

[robgul]

Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?

Normally only the ‘right’ bit of his shorts apparently

Laquer on the knackers is best avoided.

Ah - but it does add lustre to the cluster 

[Kim]

Just did that thing again where my spidey sense belatedly alerted me to a crime in progress ("Hang on - is that the sound of a power drill punctuating that car alarm?"), and proceeded to watch like an idiot without the aid of  a) my glasses  or  b) a camera.

From the conversation I overheard afterwards, it sounds like a passerby got a registration number, which is a lot more useful than the "They went thattaway" that I could contribute.

Owner of the car has returned, started it, noted the horrendous noise, stopped it, dawdled about on their phone for a few minutes, then started it again and driven off.  Given the state of the exhaust, I belatedly realise that I didn't mishear someone exclaiming "He's got the cat!", and all becomes clear.

[T42]

Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

Is there a right bit ?

No, but some are worse than others.

[SoreTween]

Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?

I forgot the egg in a bara brith once, couldn't figure out why it was taking so long for the skewer to come out clean. By the time I gave up it was roughly the same shade on top as good Welsh coal and could have been given as a prize at Paris Roubaix.
It got eaten, took some effort thobut.