The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[barakta]

Yikes!

[Regulator]

Got to the gym this morning to find the shutter up and the keys in the door.  But no PT.

It looks like Luke forgot to lock up last night… he had remembered to turn the alarm on though. 

[T42]

Check the PDM and see that I've given myself 23 units instead of 2.3! And peak insulin effect occurs after after 2 hours which hasn't even elapsed yet.

Crikey!

[Mrs Pingu]

Well we've got a lovely new (to us) refurbed oak wardrobe.
Unfortunately I wasn't conservative enough in my measurements and it didn't fit through the tight turn at the top of the stairs into the bedroom. (Despite taking both stair rails off and chopping a bit off the windowsill at the top).
So it's sitting in the garage waiting for Pingu to recover enough from humphing it about so we can dismantle it.

Wife points, I has none.

[T42]

Send for Fred.  https://youtu.be/UTS8MMqhMxY?si=m_erAu-b4PNpbApP

---o0o---

Meanwhile, I bought a cheap pair of supermarket jeans today, size 46 as my current girth demands.  Once home (25k drive) MrsT says ahem and points at the label: 46 is the Italian size, here they're a 38. 

[SteveC]

When buying tickets for a day trip to that London, it is better to select day return as opposed to single.

[rafletcher]

At my desk at work, couldn't find my 'phone. Usual slight panic, last memory id putting it down beside the sink.  Just about to do a global email.... and found it. In mt left hand back pocket, where i never put anything. 

[Basil]

At my desk at work, couldn't find my 'phone. Usual slight panic, last memory id putting it down beside the sink.  Just about to do a global email.... and found it. In mt left hand back pocket, where i never put anything. 

Mrs B once couldn't find her phone, albeit for only a moment.  It was in her hand.

[robgul]

At my desk at work, couldn't find my 'phone. Usual slight panic, last memory id putting it down beside the sink.  Just about to do a global email.... and found it. In mt left hand back pocket, where i never put anything. 

Mrs B once couldn't find her phone, albeit for only a moment.  It was in her hand.

A bit like my wife with "lost glasses" that are on her head.

[Kim]

The YACF massive spent about an hour searching for barakta's phone on a campsite, which was lost and deprived of signal.

Eventually she realised it was in her bra.

[MattH]

A while ago I was on a site with a customer doing some testing. He lost his phone, could have been anywhere (we had stuff laid out over about half a mile of road), and was panicking.
After a few of us looked for it, it turned out it was in my back pocket. I'd erroneously picked it up from our test bench thinking it was mine, which was in my jacket pocket 

[Cudzoziemiec]

I started to patch a puncture but discovered my last tube of vulcanizing solution contained the merest smidge, not enough for a decent patch. "Aha!" thought I, "I can use this handy tube of Super Glue instead." Let me tell you now, Super Glue does not stick patches to a butyl tube. It does, however, do something rather odd to said tube and stick the other side of it to a vinyl floor. Fortunately, as it was a landlord-choice vinyl floor, although new, the aesthetic damage is nil. My tube is also nil.

[Kim]

Pratfalled while dodging the proximity-triggered pool-area-entry showers^[1] at the swimming pool and wrenched my shoulder.  The lifeguard said it looked like a fairly hard fall, and my glasses went flying in the process.


_{[1] I was playing wheelchair Sokoban, and apart from shoes and socks, fully clothed.}

[Cudzoziemiec]

wheelchair Sokoban

Having seen you use this phrase many times, I've finally looked it up. I'm slightly disappointed, I'd expected something more like jenga or tetris.

[andrewc]

Ouch.  Hope you are not too sore tomorrow. 

[Kim]

That my left elbow, which is the one with all the mountain bicycling injuries, remains ungrazed is testament to the smoothness of the tiles.  It's objecting to me leaning on it to sit upright in my chair more strenuously than usual, thobut.

[andrewc]

Dr Andrew prescribes your preferred painkiller washed down with lashings of hot chocolate.


Better than the supermarket offerings.  Not as good as Abyss, but a lot cheaper.  https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0051M3AEK

[Kim]

It's not as bad as last time I bashed it, where I resorted to removing the arm from my chair until it had healed.

Hoping the shoulder will sort itself out if I refrain from doing anything stupid for a couple of days.  I don't need to do any more wheelchair-pushing until Wednesday.

[Mr Larrington]

I have a Navajo arrowhead pendant thingy.  At Christmas the thong suspending it around my neck b0rked and it fell onto the tiled floor of the kitchen at Fort Larrington and also b0rked, into a Several of pieces.  So I glued it back together and obtained a replacement thong.

The other day the tip b0rked off.  I knew not where until this morning, when it fell out of the gap 'twixt mattress and bed frame and landed with a noise on the wood floor of the Grand Bedchamber.  “Hurrah!” I exclaimed, and subsequently took it downstairs and offered it up to the rest of the piece…

…and dropped it, whereupon it bounced off the coffee table and disappeared from view.  It's somewhere over there ==> among the carpet fluff, crates of unsorted books and nest of USB cables that connect keyboard and trackball to the Babbage-Engine on the other side of the Great Hall.  Bah!

[phantasmagoriana]

Decided I may as well dust off a bike in some sort of vague attempt to try cycling again.
Went to the car park (communal gated thing) to unlock it.
Oh - the key I thought opens this lock doesn't (I own too many bike locks. This is the only one for which there is only one key, on account of it coming free with the bike when I bought it second-hand).
Looked everywhere - nope.
I vaguely recall, before going away for a weekend about 6 weeks ago, taking said key off my main keyring because I wouldn't need it. I also remember thinking "this is the only key I have for this lock, so I'll make sure I keep it somewhere safe".
Of course, I now have no idea where "somewhere safe" was. I'm sure it's around, but I've checked all the usual places and found nothing.

Anyone know anyone with an angle grinder in Edinburgh?

[Pingu]

Feanor has form for that sort of thing.

[phantasmagoriana]

Fortunately, it seems I may not need to resort to destruction: checking back through thousands of cat photos on my phone, I realised that I had the sense to take a photo of the key when I first got it, so a replacement is now on order from Kryptonite.

[Feanor]

Yes, but alas I am not in Edinburgh at the moment.

I'm in Elgin, for an oddox tomorrow...

[Tim Hall]

Fortunately, it seems I may not need to resort to destruction: checking back through thousands of cat photos on my phone, I realised that I had the sense to take a photo of the key when I first got it, so a replacement is now on order from Kryptonite.

I thought the punchline was going to be "the photo was of the key where I last put it, so I've now found it".

[Kim]

I have a solution to that: Bike lock keys not attached to keyrings all go in a compartment of the Misc Bike-Related Pingfuckits^[1] box.

Or at least they did until I <ob-div> broke the body-bit of my main bike lock key in half by letting the front door slam with my keys in the lock </>.  Barakta, who is cleverer than I am, suggested that I swap it with the spare key, so it doesn't disintegrate at some future point and leave me keyless with my bike locked somewhere inconvenient.  So now the keys don't all fit in the box properly, and it's just a matter of time before something divvy happens.


_{[1] Valve caps, cable ferrules, those little rubber gaiters from BB7s, that sort of thing.}