Scott, thank Anders for his numerous contributions.
Oh go on - we look forward to his pronouncements. :-*Scott, thank Anders for his numerous contributions.
:) He does keep things interesting. Although a few of the recent ones have been so bizarre that I hesitate to post them. :-\
Oh go on - we look forward to his pronouncements. :-*
Anders and I were out for a walk. Ahead, he saw a cat. He called to it, and it stopped for a moment, looked at him, and then went on.
A: "Well, one time it recognized me. Maybe it has indonesia."
Anders should have column in the Guardian!
Anders's question of the day:
"Dad--how did everything happen in the past?"
Ummm....where do I start?!?
Anders's question of the day:
"Dad--how did everything happen in the past?"
Ummm....where do I start?!?
You did explain, I hope...
I have no idea where this came from:
Anders: "Dad--when poor people and rich people meet, and poor people go where rich people roam, then if the poor people pick a dandelion, the rich people get mad at them. It's just a dandelion! Or a cool rock."
When commuting by bike yesterday...
"Daddy, why has your bike got pedals?"
"Daddy, why has your bike not got stabalisers?"
"Daddy, why has your bike got brakes?"
Anders was in the bath. As I went by, I heard him whispering to himself, "goooold...preeeeeecious...."
I swear I haven't read the Hobbit to him yet! ???
I love hearing about Anders and the things he says. They always make me smile.
We were talking about the changing seasons and what berries were ripe.Mmmmmulberries! Where in the world has it just been mulberry season? There's about two months to go in southern England.
Robyn: “The mulberries are all gone now.”
Anders: “Yeah, Barack Obama ate them all.”
(neither of us has ever discussed politics or the candidates in front of Anders.)
Mmmmmulberries! Where in the world has it just been mulberry season? There's about two months to go in southern England.
Not a child befuddled utterance, but a befuddled utterance made by my mother.
Yesterday while swimming:
Anders: "Hey, want to see me do something unforgivable?"
Turns out he meant "unforgettable."
They have nets on very long poles for that kind of thing over here.
Yesterday while swimming:Unforgettable is one quality I would definitely associate with Anders. :)
Anders: "Hey, want to see me do something unforgivable?"
Turns out he meant "unforgettable."
Unforgettable is one quality I would definitely associate with Anders. :)
;D
Eggs Jamaican sounds much better than my breakfast this morning.
Last night, whilst I was eating a beef and horseradish sandwich:
"Daddy, how do horses make horseradish?"
Last night, whilst I was eating a beef and horseradish sandwich:
"Daddy, how do horses make horseradish?"
Well?
How do they? ;D
Zoe (age 9): "Is John Barrowman married?"
Mrs Chris (hoping the conversation would end at this point): "Well... yes."
Zoe: "Who to?"
Mrs Chris: "Another man.", (she then explains about civil partnerships.)
Zoe: "Did John Barrowman wear the dress?"
Anders, who had a snow day today and doesn't want to go to school tomorrow either:
"I'm going to wear my pajama pants inside out and put a spoon under my pillow. That'll make it snow."
Later, while putting his pajama pants on inside-out:
"....and I'm not being weird!"
Did it work?
I've got a good idea" from my son (41/2) I know that there's trouble ahead.
Although my son (4) is very affectionate towards me and often tells me that he "still loves me", he's recently started announcing that he "wants a daddy with brown skin"...
Blimey, Bud Lite exists? US Bud is next to piss already. What on earth do they do to make even more tasteless?
Although my son (4) is very affectionate towards me and often tells me that he "still loves me", he's recently started announcing that he "wants a daddy with brown skin"...
Woolly insisted on reading this one out to me this morning,. It gave us a good morning giggle... Welcome back, Anders! ;)
Anders: "Hey, dad--guess what's one of the joys of life!"
Scott: "Ummm...I dunno. What?"
A: "Frequent aging!"
S: "Ummm...frequent aging?"
A: "Yeah!" <pause> "Lots of birthday parties! Cake. Mmmmm......"
Is that a real thing?
Cake. Mmmmm.....We also got a future cyclist in him :)
Cake. Mmmmm.....We also got a future cyclist in him :)
We took the HH'lets to Islabikes to get them fitted for their new bikes and Isla told them that ideally, they should have the balls of their feet touching the floor.
Some time later, we were discussing which bike was best and HH'let 2 said, "Daddy, it's very important that my balls can touch the floor when I'm on my bike."
We took the HH'lets to Islabikes to get them fitted for their new bikes and Isla told them that ideally, they should have the balls of their feet touching the floor.
Some time later, we were discussing which bike was best and HH'let 2 said, "Daddy, it's very important that my balls can touch the floor when I'm on my bike."
The kid needs a recumbent! ;D
Need a hat... ;D
Need a hat... ;D
If you're still confused: weddings used to involve the ladies wearing hats - big, pretty hats. Indeed, some people still wear them. And the comment 'I'll be needing a hat' is used cheekily whenever a couple do anything that vaguely suggests they're getting on well. And it's a regular Regulator joke around here...
Sorry if that's overly explained!
It was re-popularised by Cilla Black a few years back on Blind Date, and I think that was the reference that Regulator was making.
Some gems from 27b/6 (http://www.27bslash6.com/slyseb.html)
Little Cudzo was asking for some chocolate. I told him he had to finish his yoghurt first. He said he was full, which he probably was, as he'd already had a bowl of bigos (cabbage and bean stew, basically), an orange and a few other things.I have spaces like that in my tummy ;D.
"If your tummy's so full how come you've got room for chocolate?"
"Because there's a space where a carrot didn't fall and it's just the right shape for a piece of chocolate."
Surely everyone knows that pudding goes in a different tummy?
Can you guess what the smallest cub was watching?
"Is it the tower one? It's Danny Casgil. Is it Danny? He's doing tricks on his bike. Oh no, he's moving the post. The wheels is stuck! Try again. Oh no, he fell off! Up. One wheel, two wheel. 1, 2, 3, off we go! He did it! Boing. A bike up a tree?! That's no sense. Round and round, his bike flying. His bike spinning. Over the fence. On one wheel! Wheeeeeee! He's flying! Down the stairs. His new bike. Up a tree - upside down! Up, down - going backwards. He went up the gate. Shut the gate. Down in the tunnel - everyone has to come see. Dark. On a shop? A bike on a shop? THat's silly! Blue bike. Off the bridge. Again?"
Bless.
That sounds like my Pudding HoleTM. ::-)Surely everyone knows that pudding goes in a different tummy?
I'm sure you're right. A former boyfriend told me how there was room in his 'sweet stomach' even though his 'savoury stomach' was full. He had known this since he was six.
That sounds like my Pudding HoleTM. ::-)Surely everyone knows that pudding goes in a different tummy?
I'm sure you're right. A former boyfriend told me how there was room in his 'sweet stomach' even though his 'savoury stomach' was full. He had known this since he was six.
Whilst watching his favourite betime youtube clip
Talking of money... Little Cudzo has told me that he goes to work everyday. What does he do? He has a computer, he presses a button and... money comes out!
Later I asked him "What does a parrot do?"
"what does a parrot do" he replied
I suppose you might have had to be there for that one :D
I was at home the other day, when TLD found some money on the hall table. "Daddy, this must be your money, it has the queen's head on it!"
My work there is done :)
Half of them are really really bad, and the other half are even worse. (Zoe aged 10 whilst watching the Eurovision Song Contest semi-final).
Nowt befuddling about that...
Nowt befuddling about that...
I'm a bit befuddled as to why she was watching it!
Driving back from my parent's house yesterday, TLD sat in the back of the car, "Mummy, how do you spell collosal?" "C-o-l-l-o-s-a-l" Mrs T says. "Do you know what it means?" "Yes" says TLD "bigger than gigantic!!!" How on earth does a 6 yr old come out with knowing such words?Ginaggerous!
Talking of money... Little Cudzo has told me that he goes to work everyday. What does he do? He has a computer, he presses a button and... money comes out!
My friend's two and a half year old daughter, after a telling-off - "You don't love me mummy. Only daddy loves me." ;D
Little M (just 3): can I have a biscuit?
Me: No, you've just had one and that's enough
Little M: but I like biscuits
Me: Too many biscuits are bad for you
Little M: But I like biscuits
Me: Sometimes it's not a good idea to have too much of something just because you like it
Little M (accusingly): But you like wine Daddy.
My friend's two and a half year old daughter, after a telling-off - "You don't love me mummy. Only daddy loves me." ;D
Like lemon cheese?
Anders: "I'm gonna grow a beard, and then I'm gonna light it!"
;D
"It's not the best dinosaur mask in the world daddy, but I know you did your best"
:demon:
He doesn't like mushrooms either! I don't think he's ever had kidneys, but he loves peaches. How can peaches feel bad? ???
Ah, I see. So she presumably doesn't like chunky jams with bits of skin in (at least if it's peach)?I don't know if we have peach jam, do we? Whenever I'm at hers, she usually has blackcurrant jam.
I don't think you can detect that furriness in a jam, so I reckon it would be OK. Do apricots upset?Mum and apricots is like hobbits and mushrooms.
Maybe you don't have peach jam, but we certainly do! I'd probably swap it for a fresh peach and blackcurrant jam on a scone, though :)Ah, I see. So she presumably doesn't like chunky jams with bits of skin in (at least if it's peach)?I don't know if we have peach jam, do we? Whenever I'm at hers, she usually has blackcurrant jam.
Following a demonstration of his elder brother's latest purchase....
"I like sporks!"
Indeed. He's now the proud owner of a pair of mess tins, a tin mug and a folding spork. Just need a camping trip to go test them out on now....
My nieces were reaching for the olives and garlic bread before they could talk. And oysters kilpatrick. And avocado and prawns. We bring it on ourselves.
My kids are sooo middle class.
Conversation yesterday with 12-year-old.
Mum "***, go and have take a shower"
*** "No"
Mum "***, go and have take a shower"
*** "Why, I don't need one, I had one two days ago on Saturday."
On Tuesday he was in tears, complaining that he has been tricked because it isn't really a dinosaur, it is a toy, and it doesn't look like the example shown on the box (it is a Triceratops, not a Tyrannosaurus).
My nephew (11) has written his Christmas list. He wants stuff for the model railway he is building in the attic. A cottage, a signal box, a cow, a car and a tortoise !
Anyone know where you can get OO scale tortoises :)
It would be a very small quantity of paint and a very small brush to do one in 00 scale. the whole tortoise (if it was a particularly big one) would be the size of a lentil or split pea. There's an idea a split pea would even be the right shape and colour.
You can rest (or glue) the feet of the low bridges to some jenga or similar to raise them. I usually rest them on stray stickle bricks at the moment, due to lack of jenga bricks. :)
I believe his information to have come from the 'how to cross the pirahna infested water in order to get to the PIES' section of the Science Museum's 'Don't try this at home' DVD, which came with his Science Museum 'Do try this at home' book purchased on a recent-ish trip to the big smoke.
No idea about piranhas, but Dangermouse fans know that hamsters can eat hundreds of times their own bodyweight in custard in order to save themselves and their secret agent companion from drowning."Crumbs, DM!!"
Biggun (who is in the middle of cooking lunch for himself, his dad and his brother - only pasta and sauce, but we all start somewhere) got into a conversation with his dad about evaporation and states of matter and just explained to us that a non-newtonian liquid behaves like a solid under pressure. And that custard is an example of this.
My favourite of this weekend's EldestCub-isms:
(slightly wistfully)
"I wish I had a single-speed mountain bike...."
As someone who spent two years post-grad working with non-newtonian fluids his example is good but his definition is too tight.
Mini (9) "You're mean, you're Margaret Thatcher"
Got to get the politics right early.
Non-newtonian fluids simply do not behave newton equation that sheer rate is proportional to Sheer stress at a constant temperature independent of time. i.e. take two flat plates with a layer of liquid between them and holding the bottom one still rotate or slide the top.
Non-newtonian fluids simply do not behave newton equation that sheer rate is proportional to Sheer stress at a constant temperature independent of time. i.e. take two flat plates with a layer of liquid between them and holding the bottom one still rotate or slide the top.
YYou missed out the other fluids - the one's who's viscosity drops with shear stress (quicksand, salad dressing, drilling mud, etc). Or do they have a different name?
Non-newtonian fluids simply do not behave newton equation that sheer rate is proportional to Sheer stress at a constant temperature independent of time. i.e. take two flat plates with a layer of liquid between them and holding the bottom one still rotate or slide the top.
YYou missed out the other fluids - the one's who's viscosity drops with shear stress (quicksand, salad dressing, drilling mud, etc). Or do they have a different name?
Thixotropic fluids
My kids are sooo middle class.
The other nights there was a collective cry of "but mum you know I hate smoked salmon!!!!" (a complete lie, they love it)
My wife and I were then trying to work out how old we were when we first got offered smoked salmon (kids of the 70's...)
Then last night, "can you pass me some more black forest ham?"....
'now that he's too big for Brio'Brio has got infinitely better with battery-powered locomotives. I don't think I'm too big for Brio yet. (HTFB, age 36 1/12)
Brio (and cheapie lookalikes) beat the real thing: don't have to get up at dawn, don't have to shower after playing, don;t have to wash clothes after playing, don't have to clean up afterwards. The "Romance of Steam" is over-hyped. A day on an open footpate on a drizzley winter's day will cure any lingering romantics.Ooooo. I don't know. I had a day's instruction on driving a steam engine. It was fab.
Ooooo. I don't know. I had a day's instruction on driving a steam engine. It was fab.
Son number 1, when asked whether he wanted to go and see the fireworks on Blackheath last month:
"Hmmm, not sure. I think fireworks are a very inflexible medium."
This led to a vague ramble by them onto other topics of royalty. One girl was aware that our next king will be Charles the Third (I have a vague notion that he's taking another name but I can't remember what)
I just read Arch's signature to Mrs Torslanda - she of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate - 'If I had a baby elephant, it could help me wash the car.'
Our youngest responded 'And if I had a crocodile it would help me to tidy my bedroom!'
Nicholas is 4.
CrinklyCub the younger:
"Abracadabra......... Porridge!"
I remember giraffes were going to help me reach high cupboards, and numbats, which have nimble paws, were going to put cutlery away.I have long hankered after a washin guppy to swim in the kitchen sink and do the washin gup.
Daughter 2 to Daughter 1 "You spat on my breasts"
Mother to Daughter 2 "When did you have your breasts out."
Daughter 2 "Oh, it was in science."
"Can I do programming too? What's programming?"
(CrinklyCub, this afternoon)
"Dad, when [Smallest_Cub] is in bed, can we do some programming?"
to which the smaller cub said,
"Can I do programming too? What's programming?"
EldestCub (whilst eating spaghetti and listening to Danse Macabre, so I really don't know what triggered it....):
"It'd be cool if we could go into the internet".
Quite.
EldestCub (whilst eating spaghetti and listening to Danse Macabre, so I really don't know what triggered it....):
"It'd be cool if we could go into the internet".
Quite.
Me: Its a joke book, it isn't really written by a meercat.
Miss Dan the Elder: Imagine if it was, the handwriting would be atrocious.
Don't they have a Coop? ???
Best of all, and not remotely befuddling, he hugged his new Brio Mallard loco (from me) and said "This is my favourite engine!". My heart melted....Wonderful! We have one of those too.
30 years ago,travelling thru' the countryside & keeping very young son amused.......
Me:where does milk come from?
Simon:cows
Me : where does lamb come from?
Simon:sheep
Me:Where does bacon come from?
Simon,after slight pause: the fridge.
;D
That reminds me of the "get well soon" cards I got from my class when I was in traction aged 7.
At the time I was extremely unpopular and subject to more than a little bullying, so the idea of them all being forced to spend the morning's lesson on being nice to me amused me. Almost as much as some of the drawings of what they assumed being in traction involved, based on (presumably) a less than thorough explanation by the teacher and a recent trip to the Tower Of London. :o
I'm fairly sure the sun does conduct electricity, though...
I saw a selection of letters up on the wall once, at the Bannockburn visitor centre. One read "Thank you for letting us come to the battlefield, it was very good, when we arrived on the coach we ate our sandwiches"
But one read (more or less verbatim):Obviously they'd been learning about metamorphosis.
"Seeing you I was like a catarpilar (sic). When you told us about recycling it was like a whole new life. I knew in my brain Rachel that you could do it, but you did!"
My turn to get kids out to school, as MrsCharly is away.
"Oli, what do you want on your wrap for packup?"
"I don't have a wrap in my packup!"
(he's had a wrap in his packup for the last 18months)
This was followed by:
"Where's mum?"
"Erm, she'll be getting into Kings Cross Station about now.".
"Helpful. Where's mum?".
But one read (more or less verbatim):Obviously they'd been learning about metamorphosis.
"Seeing you I was like a catarpilar (sic). When you told us about recycling it was like a whole new life. I knew in my brain Rachel that you could do it, but you did!"
I like the implication in the last sentence that knowing something "in your brain" isn't quite the same as knowing it through experience.
"favourite person in the whole world apart from perhaps Daddy." ;D ;D
It's about 1oC outside. Small child done up in coats, scarves, multilayered knitted things. Next to a pond that still has a thin layer of crackly ice on the top.
"I waaannnnnaaaaaaa ICE CREAM!!"
Not technically a child utterance, as the child didn't do any more than confirm the story, but I overheard the presumed parent of said child explaining to their companion on the train about how they'd been found reading in the dark yesterday. They'd become so absorbed in whatever they were reading that they'd not really noticed the daylight fading, until the parent walked in and questioned them.I used to read on the windowsill after dark. In summer there was still enough light to read by without turning on the leccy.
An important part of a fully-rounded childhood, this (along with reading by torchlight under the covers after bedtime). That it still happens fills me with hope for the continued survival of the human race. :thumbsup:
Not technically a child utterance, as the child didn't do any more than confirm the story, but I overheard the presumed parent of said child explaining to their companion on the train about how they'd been found reading in the dark yesterday. They'd become so absorbed in whatever they were reading that they'd not really noticed the daylight fading, until the parent walked in and questioned them.I used to read on the windowsill after dark. In summer there was still enough light to read by without turning on the leccy.
An important part of a fully-rounded childhood, this (along with reading by torchlight under the covers after bedtime). That it still happens fills me with hope for the continued survival of the human race. :thumbsup:
"It's an invertebrate!" he exclaims. I think I must have taught him this word, but I's impressed by the technical vocabulary of a six year old nevertheless.
I'm suspicious that the bit of the brain concerned with technical vocabulary undergoes a massive growth spurt
If you want to know the answer to anything,ask a teenager ;)
"It's an invertebrate!" he exclaims. I think I must have taught him this word, but I's impressed by the technical vocabulary of a six year old nevertheless.
I'm suspicious that the bit of the brain concerned with technical vocabulary undergoes a massive growth spurt between the ages of 6 and 7, often correlated with an encyclopaedic knowledge of dinosaurs, space craft, pokemon or similar.
Random conversation, prompted by lord alone knows what, whilst eating toast and jam.
SmallestCub: Where's Alan's van?
Me: Sorry?
SmallestCub: Alan'n'Marj's van. Where's Alan'n'Marj's van?
Me: Oh, their caravan?
(SmallestCub nods, whilst seriously chomping more toast)
Me: Well, I imagine it's at their house.
SmallestCub: Is it in their house?
Me: Well, I expect it will be on a driveway or something. I don't think you could keep a caravan in the house, could you?
SmallestCub: If a van would fit in a house the door would be (demonstrating with arms) giant!
(SmallestCub returns to the serious business of toast eating)
he was of the opinion that it was erected so that you could see where the aquarium was ;D.
Only one solution to that...
...a trip to the Science Museum. :thumbsup:
Oh yes! One of my friend's charges ate one of the exhibits at a butterfly house when it landed on her hand ;D.
He approaches with a football under his t shirt and says 'I didn't', I reply 'you didn't what'...'I didn't eat all the pies'. Your youngest is a comedy genius!!!
Through sobs, he said "I knew that would happen!". When sis enquired, then why did you carry on doing it?, he said "But <sob> I'm <sob> an expert!".
What my son thought might be in the dark dark box in the dark dark house in the dark dark wood. Twitpic - Share photos and videos on Twitter (http://t.co/j14rAfn)
Tweeted (http://twitter.com/lith_irc/status/42994226602049536)by Dearly_Beloved.QuoteWhat my son thought might be in the dark dark box in the dark dark house in the dark dark wood. Twitpic - Share photos and videos on Twitter (http://t.co/j14rAfn)
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitpic/photos/large/250911500.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0ZRYP5X5F6FSMBCCSE82&Expires=1299099702&Signature=PV71obvlt8iJdfdIcMq%2BY8c8J5w%3D)
Apparently most of his nursery friends were more in the mosters/dinosaurs etc camp, but our son thought that it seemed like a likely place to find luggage and accessories.
SmallestCub, yesterday, whilst eating lunch at the pub, had a lengthy conversation about stuff on the moon with Kim and Arch.
SmallestCub, yesterday, whilst eating lunch at the pub, had a lengthy conversation about stuff on the moon with Kim and Arch.
He did, at one point, express a desire for the moon on a stick, though. :thumbsup:
T: What's that noise?
I: An aeroplane Teddy. [venturing] Do you know where its going?
T: An Airport?
T: What's that noise?
I: An aeroplane Teddy. [venturing] Do you know where its going?
T: An Airport?
;D
Everyone can relax - the problem of who should be in charge of everything has finally been solved.
"The country ought to be run by small children, they have huge minds full of facts" - mainly about dinosaurs. Imagine - a government funded dinsoaur theme park in every town.Got my vote
"The country ought to be run by small children, they have huge minds full of facts" - mainly about dinosaurs. Imagine - a government funded dinsoaur theme park in every town.
I sent Oli a Doring Kindersley book for his 'unbirthday': Things That Go. On the 'At the Race Track' page, among the F1 car and the motorbikes, was a pic of the monococque Lotus bike. I told Sis to tell Oli, I know the man who designed that bike.
Oli wanted to know his name, but she didn't know. He kept asking at bedtime, and she said she'd ring me and ask. "Yes," he said "You ask Auntie Sue, and get back to me in the morning..."
I suggested she send him a memo...
One of FirstBorn's teachers is making a "Seville partnership" over the holidays ...Is that one with marmalade sandwiches? ;D
It's a rind up: he's taking the pith.One of FirstBorn's teachers is making a "Seville partnership" over the holidays ...Is that one with marmalade sandwiches? ;D
I've never touched a buoy before!
SmallestCub: Yes - with her daddy. She's small, but bigger than me. She's smaller than her grownups. But her grownups are bigger than ours.
SmallestCub was somewhat disappointed to discover that 'his friend' - boab - had called to see us when he wasn't here, but the discovery that boab and the boablets had brought him an Easter egg did help him come to terms with the disappointment a little. So he decided that we had to send a message 'on mummy's computer' to say thank you. As well as the usual pleasantries, he wanted to say
"I wil go to her house and give her some food. I'll give her some cabbage and take it to her house because she would like it."
But then he changed his mind.
My Nephew who is four "When I grow up I am going to be a a marine biologist or maybe a womble" ...
O yeah, Granpa's got a big squirty thing! I can play with that!
Outside my window a moment ago:
Teenage boy: Yeah, I'm a lesbian
Teenage girl: Right, see you later then, right?
???
"We met Santa, didn't we. At the campsite!"
I think he meant complicated.
Children definitely complicate things!
My daughter showing disapproval on her face:
"Daddy, is it true that you need a man to make a baby?"
Lady in shop to Mini-Redlight: How old are you?
MR : I'm 3
Lady: And when will you you be 4?
MR: On my birthday
Its not the first time he's given us cause to worry that we are raising an Evil Genius.
Just make sure to teach him about the optimal diameter for air ducts...
"How fast do you think the Space Shuttle goes, Miss Z?"
"Er...20mph?"
"20,000mph, actually."
"That'll stop the pikeys nicking the cabling then."
"Look, mum, not doing anything productive, is not the same as doing nothing.Ah, so he's just playing computer games and browsing porn all day then?
"Look, mum, not doing anything productive, is not the same as doing nothing.Ah, so he's just playing computer games and browsing porn all day then?
I had one of those at home for a few years.
(he has a point tho' - going cycling isn't doing anything productive)
Too late for a camping 'n fishing trip with m'boy, by about 12 years. Ah well.
If somebody does eat your brains, then you can't think!
Scott! Just spotted you in the riot thread - nice to see you around. Apart from anything else, all these other child utterances are fine but they'll never match the wonder that is Anders...
Well, it's been ages since I stopped by (wanted to say hello and check on the Londonites), so here are two recent ones from Anders, now 8 3/4 (!):
* Anders, washing his hair with too much shampoo: "People think you're a normal person until you unleash the EVIL OF ALL BUBBLES!!!!"
* "I can read my own thoughts, even when I'm not thinking them."
SmallestCub started full time school today. Well, yesterday now. He came home and announced that the new teacher is called Mrs Spatula.
I assume Mrs Bachelor.
But I think his is better :)
SmallestCub started full time school today. Well, yesterday now. He came home and announced that the new teacher is called Mrs Spatula.
fook
fruyty rhtytthhy ttty
fook
!
and (switch on mild dyslexia for best effect):fruyty rhtytthhy ttty
:)
He's at school today for the first time. I don't half miss him.and (switch on mild dyslexia for best effect):fruyty rhtytthhy ttty
:)
I'm squinting hard, but all I get is 'fruity something totty*'
(*or another vowel, making something even less appropriate for this board)
Louis' alphabet:
a b c d e f g
h i jake a ello menno p
q r s (etc).
I blame the metre of that awful song.
He's at school today for the first time. I don't half miss him.
Louis' alphabet:
a b c d e f g
h i jake a ello menno p
q r s (etc).
I blame the metre of that awful song.
He's at school today for the first time. I don't half miss him.
It's only 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' shoe-horned for the alphabet innit? Mozart liked that toon...
I'm sure I sing twinkle twinkle to a different tune. Maybe that's why the kids find my version odd. That and the fact that I can never get the right thing the star looks like and whether its in the sky, night, dark etc.
I've nothing against the tune; it's the shoe-horning of the alphabet into it that seems to be the problem.
Who he?
Who he?
Children's entertainer of 1950s.
Who he?
Children's entertainer of 1950s.
"Do you want a snack?"
"Yes."
"What's the magic word?"
"Abracadabra!" (runs off)
It's been a day of questions that aren't questions from him. Walking home from school with his friend, friend asks "If I run down the hill and jump, why don't I stay in the air?" He's a bright boy, he knows about gravity...
Mind you, he also thinks Vikings fight Dragons.Thinks! naa tell him that we do !
Mind you, he also thinks Vikings fight Dragons.Thinks! naa tell him that we do !
That's because the Vikings fought them all off, innit.yup, I was there only a year ago, cleaning up some of the left overs :)
Battle of Legnica, near the town of that name, SE Poland 1241; the Mongol Hordes used fiery kites in their conquest of Eastern Europe, giving dragon legends a timely boost. It is said that one of the kites was also rigged up to fire arrows. The Mongols won, obviously.Mind you, he also thinks Vikings fight Dragons.Thinks! naa tell him that we do !
That's all very well, but then if he comes up to visit me in York, he'll be disappointed by the lack of Dragons. (I've already told him we sometimes have Vikings wandering the streets).
That's because the Vikings fought them all off, innit.
That's because the Vikings fought them all off, innit.
This is true, we are in Copenhagen and there are no live dragons here, a couple of brass ones and one that is petrified but no live ones.
That's because the Vikings fought them all off, innit.
This is true, we are in Copenhagen and there are no live dragons here, a couple of brass ones and one that is petrified but no live ones.
That's because the Vikings fought them all off, innit.
This is true, we are in Copenhagen and there are no live dragons here, a couple of brass ones and one that is petrified but no live ones.
That's because the Vikings fought them all off, innit.
This is true, we are in Copenhagen and there are no live dragons here, a couple of brass ones and one that is petrified but no live ones.
I found them for Clare, the were hiding in the top of some lampposts, i think Vernon got a few pictures of them before the fled.
I'd like to go one better than a turnip and suggest a box containing beetroots, onions, lemon, water, spices to be strapped to the space shuttle. Can we make re-entry barszcz? It's got to be worth trying!
I'd like to go one better than a turnip and suggest a box containing beetroots, onions, lemon, water, spices to be strapped to the space shuttle. Can we make re-entry barszcz? It's got to be worth trying!
Nice idea, but but you'll never get to people to agree on a recipe!
A trifling detail.Wasn't that where the Skylab came down?
That's a point - trifle! If the space shuttle isn't flying any more, perhaps we could strap the ingrdients of a trifle to the underside and it *might* produce a tasty dessert.
A trifling detail.
That's a point - trifle! If the space shuttle isn't flying any more, perhaps we could strap the ingrdients of a trifle to the underside and it *might* produce a tasty dessert.
Alex (8): I've made a new security system for your house. Here is a drawing.
Me: Great! Let's have a look then.
Alex: First you have to put in your fingerprint. Then the panel turns round and you have to put in a code. Then the panel closes and another one opens. It has a rack for your coat. Then that panel turns round and you have another rack for your key. Then there's another panel with bum recognition and you show it your bum and if it recognises your bum it lets you in the house.
Running: "First one there's a boiled egg!"
While running: "First one there's a boiled egg."
Running: "First one there's a boiled egg!"While running: "First one there's a boiled egg."
How can you tell?
You owe me five pints from the last Bristol Pub Meet I was at.Who are you? Have I ever been to Bristol?
You owe me five pints from the last Bristol Pub Meet I was at.Who are you? Have I ever been to Bristol?
Not quite. Spin egg. Stop it briefly and let go. not-boiled egg will start spinning again.Running: "First one there's a boiled egg!"While running: "First one there's a boiled egg."
How can you tell?
Spin it.
Boiled eggs spin fast
Raw eggs spin slowly
Empty eggshells get blown in the wind.
Out on a hike with some Scouts at the weekend. We see a sign:
"Keep dogs on a lead. Sheep in Lamb"
One of the little treasures, too clever by half, asks what it means.
I explain it means the sheep in the field are pregnant.
"Shouldn't it be Lamb in Sheep then?"
Good point. Well made.
Doesn't this show that adult utterances are the befuddling ones?
I'm not sure I'm befuddled - more gobsmacked - but the other night over dinner, Our Kid said, a propos of nothing in particular:You mean they're both developing excessive county-patriotism and becoming overly interested in vintage steel? :)
'<mumble> a good role model'
Startled up from the newspaper I'd been reading (yes, mother, at the table. I also put my elbows on the table, in case you were concerned), I asked:
'Who is?'
'You are' said TGL
'Yes, cloth ears' (he loves me really) 'You're a really good role model' said Our Kid
:D It's taken many years, but they both understand now (most of the time).
"I can't find my pencil"
"Your pencilcase is downstairs"
"No, not that sort of pencil, a drawing pencil I was using a couple of minutes ago."
We search desk, floor, under desk.
"Oh, it's ok, I've found it."
"Where was it?"
"In my other hand."
You are the goodest person I know!
Amy at the Ulster Museum today. Where is the Dodo? Mummy - there.Puzzled - It doesn't smell. Why? Daddy said it stinks.
My mum has been doing sterling emergency childcare service for the last couple of weeks. Today's ultimate unanswerable question for granny, from minimac now aged 4 (yes really!): "WHY is an o ?"
I'm hoping he's not planning on working his way through the alphabet.
Junior's cousin has a neoprene i-Thing protector, printed in the likeness of a TDK SA-90 cassette tape.ROFL!
Junior: "What's that meant to be?"
Junior's cousin has a neoprene i-Thing protector, printed in the likeness of a TDK SA-90 cassette tape.ROFL!
Junior: "What's that meant to be?"
Well? Can you?
I think we need to see the result...
Further on, it mentions Abba, and then "The Beges", who wrote Saturday Night Fever.I think of them more as "The Magnolias".
"I thought my penis was going to explode!"
L, 5, cycling all the way to the park, on the road, yesterday for the first time.
"I love you in all my heart and brains."
Him again, just being wonderful.
"I wish muffins could talk" said Daughter number 2 around the dinner table tonight.
"I wish muffins could talk" said Daughter number 2 around the dinner table tonight.
Clarification needed: Is this American muffins, in which case I might be interested in what they have to say, though they are likely to be more garrulous than fairy cakes? Or is it oven-bottom muffins, in which case, I'd really rather they didn't. Any displays of sentience from my dietary items tends to spoil my appetite.
"I wish muffins could talk" said Daughter number 2 around the dinner table tonight.
Clarification needed: Is this American muffins, in which case I might be interested in what they have to say, though they are likely to be more garrulous than fairy cakes? Or is it oven-bottom muffins, in which case, I'd really rather they didn't. Any displays of sentience from my dietary items tends to spoil my appetite.
It was American muffins. By the end of the conversation she had a whole world planned out where you could feed your muffin chocolate chips or blueberries. And if you left two muffins in a box together overnight you'd find it full of cupcakes in the morning. ;D
I knew someone who used muffin as a euphemism for her genitalia.
I knew someone who used muffin as a euphemism for her genitalia. This post has me in stitches.
Back on topic...
-...blah blah made of copper. You know what copper is?
-Yes, it's a herb.
In fact this isn't befuddling in context. The thing made of copper contained a hot drink, and you can indeed make a hot drink out of koper, which is dill.
Family is watching 'Fly Away Home' (which, if you didn't know, is the greatest family film ever made).
there are new French pupils at my daughter school and she is sometimes used as a translator.That's fabulous. ;D
The French kids were chuffed to see at least another one speak like Dad and mum so went back home and said to mum:
"Maman, maman, il y a quelqu'un a l'ecole qui parle "Bonjour" "
(Mummy, there is somebody at school who speaks "Bonjour")
Pictures of bare bottoms are the funniest thing ever on the planet apparently when you are a small boy.
"I've got a beetle."
(Louis isn't very well. He meant 'bug'.)
"I've got a beetle."
(Louis isn't very well. He meant 'bug'.)
That made me laugh, but I hope Louis is feeling better now.
That's nice! :D And I can sympathise with her, I used to try to use English place names in their English version in Polish sentences but it's really difficult - "London" for "Londyn" in Polish context just doesn't flow!
A..., amazed: 'How did you know it was a fib :o'
I'd like to nominate this morning's "nativity play" which had a plot that I couldn't really fathom involving bees, butterflies, crickets, beatles, flowers and spiders with a bit of mary and jospeh at the end. At the end Miss Dan the Younger legged it rather than allow me to be proud of her.
Apparently the EldestCub was break-dancing in their school Christmas play. I have no idea why - unfortunately both performances of both boys' shows are at times I just can't go this year. But blimey - EC _dancing_ in public? That's possibly even more shocking than him singing a solo in assembly last year. Really quite shocking. Several people have commented to me that he was actually very good as well :D
I'd like to nominate this morning's "nativity play" which had a plot that I couldn't really fathom involving bees, butterflies, crickets, beatles, flowers and spiders with a bit of mary and jospeh at the end. At the end Miss Dan the Younger legged it rather than allow me to be proud of her.
All of them, or just the ones still alive? ;)
So why don't the deer in Richmond Park fly? ???
mini ao (11) to me this am. " Did you hear Neil Armstrong has been stripped of all his cycling titles?"...
Cool kind of uncles are A Good Thing :)
Citoyen nephew got a point :)
Me: in car with kids, approaching busy junction, trying to concentrate.
6 year old son: I know one divided by one is one, but which one is it?
Me: ???
"There can be only one"Me: in car with kids, approaching busy junction, trying to concentrate.
6 year old son: I know one divided by one is one, but which one is it?
Me: ???
The one on the top of course! ::-)
(This question makes perfect sense to me).
Another Girl Another Planet.Good to be reminded of that one (not sure what it's doing in this thread though?)
Me: in car with kids, approaching busy junction, trying to concentrate.
6 year old son: I know one divided by one is one, but which one is it?
Me: ???
It's by The Only Ones.Of course! :facepalm: :)
Me: in car with kids, approaching busy junction, trying to concentrate.
6 year old son: I know one divided by one is one, but which one is it?
Me: ???
That's a perfectly sensible question, if your understanding of mathematics is almost entirely arithmetic based.
The revelation comes in realising that all ones are *literally* the same thing (as with all twos, all zeros, all πs and (in a given scope) all xes), which is probably an integral part of grokking algebra.
Me: in car with kids, approaching busy junction, trying to concentrate.
6 year old son: I know one divided by one is one, but which one is it?
Me: ???
That's a perfectly sensible question, if your understanding of mathematics is almost entirely arithmetic based.
The revelation comes in realising that all ones are *literally* the same thing (as with all twos, all zeros, all πs and (in a given scope) all xes), which is probably an integral part of grokking algebra.
Amazingstoke!
"I need some new friends. It's the middle of the fucking night."
So they've both worked out that all the fun stuff happens at night. Good stuff. :thumbsup:
and are needing to get up at 6am.So they've both worked out that all the fun stuff happens at night. Good stuff. :thumbsup:
Yeah, when all the folk that have done the doing the fun stuff at night to death in the past are trying to get to sleep ::-)
and are needing to get up at 6am.So they've both worked out that all the fun stuff happens at night. Good stuff. :thumbsup:
Yeah, when all the folk that have done the doing the fun stuff at night to death in the past are trying to get to sleep ::-)
Your house too, huh?
and are needing to get up at 6am.So they've both worked out that all the fun stuff happens at night. Good stuff. :thumbsup:
Yeah, when all the folk that have done the doing the fun stuff at night to death in the past are trying to get to sleep ::-)
Your house too, huh?
Yup, since forever it seems.
Our young niece asked us: 'Which church do you go to?'"The church of Tetleys"
Wasn't sure how to answer that.
There is a particularly tasty type of especially chocolatey biscuit made by a manufacturer called Leibnitz.
"I do like these lesbian biscuits."
Yesterday I was asked, after a discussion on human evolution, "Did dinosaurs have bumcracks?". Had me stumped. The conversation about willies and cloaca was a bit easier to handle.
Yesterday I was asked, after a discussion on human evolution, "Did dinosaurs have bumcracks?". Had me stumped. The conversation about willies and cloaca was a bit easier to handle.
Well, that's a word I've not heard before in 59 years 10 months and 13 days on this planet.
*tries to think of an opportunity to use it*
Yesterday I was asked, after a discussion on human evolution, "Did dinosaurs have bumcracks?". Had me stumped. The conversation about willies and cloaca was a bit easier to handle.
Well, that's a word I've not heard before in 59 years 10 months and 13 days on this planet.
*tries to think of an opportunity to use it*
Yesterday I was asked, after a discussion on human evolution, "Did dinosaurs have bumcracks?". Had me stumped. The conversation about willies and cloaca was a bit easier to handle.
Well, that's a word I've not heard before in 59 years 10 months and 13 days on this planet.
*tries to think of an opportunity to use it*
"What is Memphis?" (He's thinking of Memphis Depay, the footballer.)
"It's a place. [Old Kingdom of Egypt, Nile, Mississippi, Amenhotep the King of Rock 'n Roll, etc]"
"Oh. I thought it was a fish."
Could you drive us to Birmingham on Saturday?(we live in York, 130miles away)
QuoteCould you drive us to Birmingham on Saturday?(we live in York, 130miles away)
Yeah I got friends down under that would drive the double/tribble just popping out for a pint milk.QuoteCould you drive us to Birmingham on Saturday?(we live in York, 130miles away)
Perfectly sensible. One does not simply walk into Mordor. ;D
Or send powerful magical artifacts via Eagle.QuoteCould you drive us to Birmingham on Saturday?(we live in York, 130miles away)
Perfectly sensible. One does not simply walk into Mordor. ;D
I think Pacman has had some sort of relaunch. He's been featured in conversation here too. Not sure of the details.
My nephew aged four to the nurse at hospital where he was visiting prior to having grommets fitted:
"I have two brains, the normall one and one controlled by a crociodile. When the crocodile is in charge I cant control what I do."
Of some perfume or deodorant: "It smells like a tiger being strangled."
"In the supermarket they have the perfect bike for me"
Further everyone knows that a bike sold in a supermarket is going to be cheap, heavy, and turn to rust so quickly when it so much as sees a dark cloud.
Perhaps I'm weird then, I have a perfect bike. I also have a cheap bike for the station that if it gets nicked I'm not going to be devastated. Other bikes I look at to buy are measured against he first bike.
Snotrils and Jumpolines: Kids' Invented Words
Word of Mouth
Michael Rosen and Dr Laura Wright explore the words that children invent and reimagine, from snotrils and jumpolines, to Farmer Christmas and the hippyhoppymus. What do these linguistic leaps of imagination tell us about how children learn language? With writer Nicola Skinner and linguist Dr Kriszta Szendroi, who explains what's going on in the brain when children reach for the right word.
Recent utterance from NanoQ (age 3 and 3/4)
[In toilet] I can see the sun. The sun is hot. Like poo.
I presume hedge is the eighth letter in the alphabet. Sensible, not befuddling IMO.Good Lord, no! We may live in Staffordshire, but I am Home Counties through and through, and my wife was raised in imperial seclusion in Kenya, so he would not have picked up on the 'haitch' shibboleth from us. Even at nursery, embryonic phonics begins with 'a', 'buh', 'cuh', 'duh'... so the eighth letter would be 'huh' for horse... :thumbsup:
Proves adult logic is befuddled...
I presume hedge is the eighth letter in the alphabet. Sensible, not befuddling IMO.Good Lord, no! We may live in Staffordshire, but I am Home Counties through and through, and my wife was raised in imperial seclusion in Kenya, so he would not have picked up on the 'haitch' shibboleth from us. Even at nursery, embryonic phonics begins with 'a', 'buh', 'cuh', 'duh'... so the eighth letter would be 'huh' for horse... :thumbsup:
Proves adult logic is befuddled...
every other person round here says "haitch" :-\
I presume hedge is the eighth letter in the alphabet. Sensible, not befuddling IMO.Good Lord, no! We may live in Staffordshire, but I am Home Counties through and through, and my wife was raised in imperial seclusion in Kenya, so he would not have picked up on the 'haitch' shibboleth from us. Even at nursery, embryonic phonics begins with 'a', 'buh', 'cuh', 'duh'... so the eighth letter would be 'huh' for horse... :thumbsup:
Proves adult logic is befuddled...
I was watching a video about ancient computer hardware...
Last night one of the adults asked if there were filters that could enable folk to see through the clouds...
Washing-up liquidy?Possibly, since it lives on the windowsill above the sink. He might think that.
At this point, I'd like to assure that I had no involvement in the above.
8) ;D;D
Two from my Sister in Law, who is a teacher of 14 year olds at a girl's schoolThat is what is know in the profession as a 'teaching point'. Sweetcorn needs chewing to get the pulp out. Chewing mixed starches with saliva which contains enzymes etc, Swallow sweetcorn whole and lookforward to saying hello to it later on, virtually unchanged.
She was explaining how in the gut food is digested and undergoes both chemical and mechanical changes.............
One smart Alec pointed out - "SweetCorn doesn't Miss!"
[5yo lines dolls up on blanket]https://twitter.com/manjusrii/status/941482799831310336?s=17
5yo: This is Elly. She's on school holidays too.
Me: Great. Is Elly hungry for lunch?
6yo: No she's full. She eats the dreams of children at night time.
Me:
Oldest (4y 8m old): "Antarctica is pitch-white".
Running about half-nekkid making his mother feel cold(er) :D
Running about half-nekkid making his mother feel cold(er) :D
A tradition, an old charter or something.
“Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”Ambrose Bierce, the Unabridged Devil's Dictionary (which I have in dead tree form but my e-version appears to be abridged)
That sounds pretty odd! Could be a pre teen determined to shock or make you feel awkward.Well she certainly succeeded on both counts... is this 'normal' (FSVO normal) behaviour for a pre teen?
Wilf, sitting on the sofa watching TV: 'I can feel the planet move'. ;D
Anders and I were out for a walk. Ahead, he saw a cat. He called to it, and it stopped for a moment, looked at him, and then went on.
A: "Well, one time it recognized me. Maybe it has indonesia."
Youngest monkey was arguing with me this morning about a shopping village being near our allotment and saying its just down the road...it's not basically involves driving back through the town we live in. She drew a map which didn't help so I walked off to get a proper map. "Where she you going, we're not finished" she called to me. "To get a map" I replied "well that' won't help" was her response. I think it would be she wasn't admitting defeat.
Youngest monkey was arguing with me this morning about a shopping village being near our allotment and saying its just down the road...it's not basically involves driving back through the town we live in. She drew a map which didn't help so I walked off to get a proper map. "Where she you going, we're not finished" she called to me. "To get a map" I replied "well that' won't help" was her response. I think it would be she wasn't admitting defeat.
Sounds like she's got a bright future in politics.