What would you want to teach her?

[CrinklyLion]

I recently went to a fund-raising evening of gossip and curry and drinks that a friend organised in aid of an overseas orphanage where another friend of hers works.  I found it funny that I was introduced to the rest of her guests as 'the one that does all the cycling  Apparently the money we raised will fund the education of three girls for a year.  

She made us play "The Sieve Game' -  which is all to do with writing things on bits of paper and putting them in her kitchen sieve and then having team guessing games to work out that they say.  Even though I don't 'do' party games (and I didn't, even when I was a kid!) I joined in, and it was quite good fun.  The thing you had to write on your three bits of paper was:

"What three things would you want to teach a girl growing up today?"

We got a really interesting mix of responses from the people there, which I'll maybe post later.

My three were to bake cake, to mend a puncture and how to say no, and mean it.

What three things would you pick?

[mrcharly-YHT]

How to use tools.
How to cook.
How to say no and mean it 

[ravenbait]

Critical thinking (I think everyone should learn this, but girls don't have it impressed upon them enough).

Baking bread (for the sense of achievement in being able to provide one of life's fundamentals without having to buy it from a shop).

Either adjusting the stops on a derailleur gear or truing wheels (because it's one of those esoteric skills most commonly considered to be a job for someone else, and if you can do either of these things the rest of your bike maintenance becomes accomplishable skills to learn rather than scary challenges).

Sam

[Arch]

How to find out how to do anything.
How to be happy with herself.
And for completeness, the no thing, ideally how not to get to needing to say it forcefully in the first place, if you see what I mean.

Those are a bit general, I realise...

[mike]

to have, and be confident in voicing, her own opinions
to be a great public speaker
to be good at yoga

but perhaps that's just a 'what I wish I had....'

[Ariadne]

That studying/working hard is worthwhile
How to be firm in what she wants and doesn't want
And I like Ravenbait's critical thinking suggestion

[Kim]

Off the top of my head, which I admit is mostly full of snot at the moment:

-Statistics 101, with an emphasis on when not to trust them and when not to trust their absence.
-That school is more akin to a prison environment than the real world, and it's not going to be like that forever unless you want it to.
-$bitty_microcontroller_of_choice assembly language, and a crash course in glue hardware and assorted useful algorithms.  Because any technology distinguishable from magic isn't sufficiently advanced, and a bottom-up understanding of such things gives an important perspective on the world.  If you're confident that you can make a 6502 do something genuinely useful, then you can probably achieve most things in life if you really put your mind to it.

[David Martin]

That I am my own person and am different to others so they will think differently to me and I to them. This means that I can do my own thing even if they don't want to, and they may not want what I want and I should respect that.

That I can do it myself, whether it be baking bread or baking microchips. I can learn how to do stuff and take pride in what I do.

That a smile and a kind word is more beautiful than make up and the most fashionable clothes and happiness is about who I am not what I have or what people say about me.

This is not restricted to girls either..

Edit: minor change..

[Woofage]

That I am my own person and am different to others so they will think differently to me and I to them. This means that I can do my own thing even if they don't want to, and they may not want what I want

That I can do it myself, whether it be baking bread or baking microchips. I can learn how to do stuff and take pride in what I do.

That a smile and a kind word is more beautiful than make up and the most fashionable clothes and happiness is about who I am not what I have or what people say about me.

This is not restricted to girls either..

Excellent

[urban_biker]

  If you're confident that you can make a 6502 do something genuinely useful, then you can probably achieve most things in life if you really put your mind to it.

Kim - you really are a very cool person.

When I did 6502 assembly it was the main processor in my home computer (guess which).  Ended up using a 68000 for doing actual embedded controller stuff when I was at uni.

[CrinklyLion]

I saw that one and thought "Gosh, I bet that would be a really cool .sig, if I only knew what a 6502 was".

[Wowbagger]

I saw that one and thought "Gosh, I bet that would be a really cool .sig, if I only knew what a 6502 was".

I assumed it was a steam train.

[Kim]

I assumed it was a steam train.

Not far off 

[Wowbagger]

I assumed it was a steam train.

Not far off  

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZN8zr9_P3QU&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/ZN8zr9_P3QU&rel=1</a>

Except it's diesel. Bugger.

[mrcharly-YHT]

-That school is more akin to a prison environment than the real world, and it's not going to be like that forever unless you want it to.

Gosh, Kim, I think you were unlucky with schools. My girls loved their junior school so much, they recently held a party back there, and invited their old teacher.

I wouldn't say they *love* high-school, but they certainly like a lot of their teachers.

[Kim]

Gosh, Kim, I think you were unlucky with schools. My girls loved their junior school so much, they recently held a party back there, and invited their old teacher

I wouldn't say they *love* high-school, but they certainly like a lot of their teachers.

Oh, the teachers were great.  Apart from the useless and evil ones, of course.  It's the other kids that make it hell.  My point is that school is inherently an artificial social environment, and the skills and opportunities needed to achieve the sufficiently high-status position required for an easy life in such an environment aren't necessarily the ones that map to success or indeed happiness in the real world.

I was the nerdy queer.  Any school was going to unpleasant.  I think I was lucky to go to a grammar school where such things were relatively tolerated.

[Cudzoziemiec]

As a complement to the "how to say no and mean it" I would have "how to say yes only if you really mean it".

[The Seldom Killer]

A strong work ethic
Social responsibility
The value of diversity

Same would apply to a boy as well.

[CrinklyLion]

I'm trying to remember what some of the ones in the sieve were.  They were, like the ones above, an interesting mix.  Lots of practical skills - to read, to wire a plug, to sew, to use power tools, carpentry.  Several related to self worth and how to treat others - to love oneself, to show respect for others.  There was riding a bike and driving a car - I guess we thought independance of movement was something to aspire to.  3 separate people wrote 'to say no'.  And I remember cooking a curry, making soup, baking bread, baking cakes, and drinking a pint were all in there - we'd all just been very well fed and watered, so I think that food and drink was at the forefront of everyone's mind.

Probably my favourite was one written the our host, that had been her dad's lesson for life - 'make sure you earn and control your own money'.  Although I quite liked 'to climb a tree' too.  

I think they were divided between the things that we had been taught and appreciated  having been taught, the things that we had learnt later in life and wished we had known or known how to do earlier, and the things we wished we had been taught.  There were also a few things that we had never learnt, and probably never would, but thought sounded like fun.  Like driving a train.

This is not restricted to girls either..

Same would apply to a boy as well.

Indeed - one of the things that came up in discussion was that many or all of the things that people had chosen they would equally want boys to learn.

[Tourist Tony]

Be yourself

Be true to yourself

Be excellent to everyone else---but sceptically so.

[tiermat]

The basics:

How to be able to converse with others (peers and seniors) and make sure you are understood.

How to be yourself, and NOT be sorry for it, if others have a problem with how you are, that's their problem, not yours.

No-one, and I mean no-one, has the right to demean you.

Obv. the just say no and mean it thing is important, and it has been covered here so these are 3 that I try to make sure TLD is learning/has learnt.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

how,to,cook.
how,to,say,no,and,mean,it.
how,to,swim.

[rogerzilla]

How to read, how to stay healthy and to understand that there are some things you should do today because one day, you won't be able to.

[barakta]

No-one, and I mean no-one, has the right to demean you.

This in spades.  I have just seen a friend feel bad for being upset that elderly relatives made unkind (and untrue) comments about her being too fat and ugly.  *RAGE*

She's EXPECTED to put up with it, hell her own parents do it too.  Mine know full well I won't stand for that kind of shit and if the shit keeps coming I won't tolerate being around it. 

I think everyone else has covered the other ones about Yes/No and useful practical skills or at least being able to be independent. 

[Kim]

How to be able to converse with others (peers and seniors) and make sure you are understood.

How to be yourself, and NOT be sorry for it, if others have a problem with how you are, that's their problem, not yours.

No-one, and I mean no-one, has the right to demean you.

how,to,cook.
how,to,say,no,and,mean,it.
how,to,swim.

Actually, these reminded me: how much emphasis are people putting on the 'you' in the original question?

I mean, the above are all excellent suggestions that I have a poor track record on and wouldn't be the slightest bit qualified to teach.  Especially the one about saying 'no'.

When I made my original suggestions, it was from the perspective of things I could usefully teach about, and (and this is in many ways the important bit) that I reckon they would be unlikely to be taught by someone else already.  There's no shortage of people willing to teach young girls how to cook or conform, relatively few willing to teach them assembly programming and that it gets better.