Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 439211 times)

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1375 on: 03 April, 2019, 03:26:22 pm »
Wonderful stuff, but needs protective glasses. And it soaks through paper towels at relativistic speed, as I found out doing a wipe-up with a single thickness.

CW is that if you do get it in your eye, do not blink - it makes life much harder for the A&E people, and hence you.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1376 on: 03 April, 2019, 04:39:15 pm »
I had a tube of Loctite lurking perilously close to the Flixonase that lives on my desk for a while.  Somehow I managed to evict it downstairs before I made that mistake.
Adrian Mole.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
My mother's not a feckin div...
« Reply #1377 on: 04 April, 2019, 10:13:46 pm »
Had supper chez Ancient Parents.

Mum & I discussed itchy & dry skin; she showed me her E45 Itch Cream, which she recommended.

Mum was very careful to put Itch Cream back in the bathroom before supper as

her favoured mayonnaise comes out of rather similar squeezy tubes.

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1378 on: 04 April, 2019, 10:18:08 pm »
Yeahbut E45 probably tastes better.

Wowbagger

  • Stout dipper
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1379 on: 04 April, 2019, 10:32:31 pm »
Yeahbut E45 probably tastes better.

 ;D ;D ;D Indeed!
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1380 on: 04 April, 2019, 11:50:45 pm »
Yeahbut E45 probably tastes better.

 ;D ;D ;D Indeed!

 ;D

Possibly., but

This was E45 Itch Cream.

With added urea...

Our family are incurable mayo addicts...

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1381 on: 05 April, 2019, 07:28:00 am »
In the light of the above this probably constitutes a high risk strategy



No mishaps yet

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1382 on: 05 April, 2019, 08:41:02 am »
Might not be so disarsetrous - Assos bum cream contains menthol.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1383 on: 05 April, 2019, 09:22:26 am »
Might not be so disarsetrous - Assos bum cream contains menthol.

I'll leave it to you to test and report back

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1384 on: 05 April, 2019, 09:41:12 am »
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1385 on: 05 April, 2019, 10:01:45 am »
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.

Sorry to hear that. Hope it settles

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1386 on: 05 April, 2019, 10:40:11 am »
Might not be so disarsetrous - Assos bum cream contains menthol.

I'll leave it to you to test and report back

I'll stick with the Assos, ta. Literally.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1387 on: 05 April, 2019, 10:40:52 am »
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.

That's not dividity, that's bloody bad luck.  GWSharpish.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1388 on: 05 April, 2019, 11:18:42 am »
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.

BTDT, in my case shifting heavy plant pots the week before an indoor rowing race
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

essexian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1389 on: 08 April, 2019, 10:00:39 am »
I have two laptops on my desk. One to type on, and one to have on in the background for entertainment purposes (er...that sounds rude! I mean that I listen to music/watch baseball etc on it...honest!).

Well this morning I was listening to some music when one of the only two phone calls I receive per month arrived. So of course I turn off the volume control on the entertainment machine only for the sound to continue...... In a panic I turned the machine off but the music continued..... Er?

Quite embarrassing really as I was listening to "Loser" by Beck.....

Anyway, I said I would phone back and set about working out how music could be coming out of a turned off computer............

I bet you can guess the rest. It took me at least three songs to work it out!

D'oh!

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1390 on: 08 April, 2019, 11:13:51 am »
Heh. One place I worked, our boss had two black phones on his desk. Every so often we would swap the receivers over when he wasn't looking.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1391 on: 08 April, 2019, 11:44:24 am »
Heh. One place I worked, our boss had two black phones on his desk. Every so often we would swap the receivers over when he wasn't looking.

Try to explain to kids today that in the 80s your importance was measured by the number of phones on your desk and they won't believe you.  TBH, it didn't really make much sense at the time, either.

essexian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1392 on: 08 April, 2019, 12:12:58 pm »
I have three phones on my desk..... they never ring so I must be far too important to bother.....

Yeah, right!  :( :facepalm:

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1393 on: 08 April, 2019, 12:20:51 pm »
When I was assigned to the mothership one of the first things I tried to do was set up my desk phone (which needs a PIN etc.) Asking around it turned out no one had a clue what that magic number might be. Never used it, they opined. Eventually, I had to find an old person.

Two months later neither have I, nor has it ever rung. It does now say my name on the screen though in case I forget where I sit.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1394 on: 08 April, 2019, 12:48:23 pm »
When I was assigned to the mothership one of the first things I tried to do was set up my desk phone (which needs a PIN etc.) Asking around it turned out no one had a clue what that magic number might be. Never used it, they opined. Eventually, I had to find an old person.

Two months later neither have I, nor has it ever rung. It does now say my name on the screen though in case I forget where I sit.

I think I mentioned this elsewhere on the forum recently... I asked IT for the PIN for my phone and they were able to supply it without difficulty, which meant I was able to access my messages and thereby disable the annoying flashing orange light on the phone. Some of the messages were over a year old, ie dating from the time my predecessor's predecessor was here. I still haven't been able to update the phone to display my name because that requires access to the desktop app, but at least the recorded message now gives out my name rather than that of my predecessor's predecessor.

I have noticed that several of my colleagues have perpetually flashing orange lights on their phones, suggesting they don't know their PIN, though some of them have been here for many years.

One colleague has got round the problem by taping a piece of paper over the light.  :facepalm:
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1395 on: 08 April, 2019, 01:17:38 pm »
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off. Plus, like many of my colleagues, I'm a peripatetic worker, more easily reached with the other kids on Slack these days.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1396 on: 08 April, 2019, 01:23:33 pm »
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off. Plus, like many of my colleagues, I'm a peripatetic worker, more easily reached with the other kids on Slack these days.

My bold.
Don't talk to machines.
They learn.
It started with a red light in the 1930s - and the car stopped.
These days, you're in the supermarket and the machine says 'Unexpected item in the bagging area' and it hasn't finished talking before you've already gone Pavlovian and are jumping up to appease it.
It isn't going to end well.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1397 on: 08 April, 2019, 01:46:25 pm »
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off. Plus, like many of my colleagues, I'm a peripatetic worker, more easily reached with the other kids on Slack these days.

I've been here nearly 12 years, still have no idea what the PIN is for my desk phone.  I'm not even sure it's a real phone as one of our office based admin folks seems to get the calls to the number on my business card and sends me messages about three times a year.
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1398 on: 08 April, 2019, 01:49:00 pm »
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off.

I have a phone on my desk that I use on the rare occasion I have to make phone calls, simply because my ability to understand people on the phone is greatly improved by not having the GSM codec throwing away half the audio, and this way I can at least force g.711 on my leg.  (Still stuffed if the other party is on a mobile, or a lowest-bidder VOIP connection to Elbonia, of course.)  Life's too short to use a PC to make phone calls, and while Android's native implementation seems to work pretty well[1], it would involve streaming realtime bidirectional audio over The Devil's Radio, which is asking for trouble when you live somewhere where the WiFi band is so congested that it would give the Daily Mail cancer.

Voicemail exists so that the receiving telco can accumulate the call termination charges.  A few pence here and there soon covers the cost of recording messages instead of giving a busy signal or letting it ring out.  It's basically useless in the real world, as it's the least convenient way to give someone a message, even if people knew how to speak properly into answering machines (a skill which went out with waiting a decent amount of time for people to answer the phone).  Caller ID makes it mostly redundant anyway.

That said, I do have voicemail configured on Asterisk for automatically redirecting unknown callers who fail the Turing test to, just in case someone who doesn't have the sense to use email from a large bureaucratic organisation that doesn't present CID needs to get in touch.


[1] When not nobbled in the firmware, because mobiles tend to be sold wholesale to telecoms companies.

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1399 on: 08 April, 2019, 08:19:26 pm »
Quote from: Kim
Voicemail exists so that ...

...I can ignore the 'phone when it rings.  If whoever called did not leave a message and (or) withheld their number then I neither need to nor want to speak to this person.
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