The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[Basil]

Bloody Birmingham pubs.  Chalk board with millions of beers listed.  All you have to go on is just the increasingly stupid names.  Ask PSO behind the bar.  I prefer a malty beer to a hoppy beers.  SPO panics and runs away.
OK I'll have a pint of stupid name please.  Turned out to be a very hoppy IPA.  Shit. I hate IPAs.
I manage just over half of it but realise that my taste buds aren't going to tune in and give up.  #1 son seems happy with his cider, so back to the bar.  PSO sees me coming and runs away again, bless her.
OK, I'll try a pint of even more stupid name.
Wierd colour.   
OFFS. It tastes of blackcurrant!   What is the matter with you people?

[Pickled Onion]

There was a time when weird beers were a new thing and if you asked they would give you a small taster glass before you ordered a pint. In some places the tasters were so generous you could have well over a pint before you ordered the one you actually paid for.

[Beardy]

I’ll always ask for a taster if I don’t know the beers; in my local, they’ll usually offer up the taster to me before I ask when they’ve got a new beer on.

Also, they never argue with me if I say a beer is off, they just offer me another beer and take the one I’ve rejected off sale.

[Mrs Pingu]

Alternatively pick the one that doesn't have a stupid name. Basil's mild or Ruby Red or some such. (This is what smart phones and Google were invented for).
OTOH if the pub can't find room on the board to write a tiny word like IPA, malty, porter, lager that's a bit crap.

[mrcharly-YHT]

When I worked as a barman, it was normal to offer someone a taste of a beer if they weren't familiar with the offerings "What do you normally drink? Try this then."

However, I'm with Basil. Making a beer hoppy doesn't make it good (I enjoy a nice cold hoppy beer on a hot day, or when I'm eating fish). Generally prefer stouts or malty beers, but increasingly go into pubs that only have something that tastes like cat's piss mixed with flowers.

I blame Brewdog. They make over-hopped beers their brand, people bought into the hype, now all breweries are desperately trying to prove they are 'hip' and 'new' by making beers from hops and stupid flavourings.

[robgul]

Bloody Birmingham pubs.  Chalk board with millions of beers listed.  All you have to go on is just the increasingly stupid names.  Ask PSO behind the bar.  I prefer a malty beer to a hoppy beers.  SPO panics and runs away.
OK I'll have a pint of stupid name please.  Turned out to be a very hoppy IPA.  Shit. I hate IPAs.
I manage just over half of it but realise that my taste buds aren't going to tune in and give up.  #1 son seems happy with his cider, so back to the bar.  PSO sees me coming and runs away again, bless her.
OK, I'll try a pint of even more stupid name.
Wierd colour.   
OFFS. It tastes of blackcurrant!   What is the matter with you people?

Blackcurrent! - that's got to be slightly better than the "pure grapefruit juice" beer I had the other day (in a pub just south of Birmingham)

[Mr Larrington]

The day after I lead the Panzers down Whitehall hipster brewers offering fruit-flavoured ”BEER” will themselves be offered the choice of a Reëducation Camp or deportation to Belgium.  Harsh on the Belgians, I'll admit, but needs must.

[ian]

When I worked as a barman, it was normal to offer someone a taste of a beer if they weren't familiar with the offerings "What do you normally drink? Try this then."

However, I'm with Basil. Making a beer hoppy doesn't make it good (I enjoy a nice cold hoppy beer on a hot day, or when I'm eating fish). Generally prefer stouts or malty beers, but increasingly go into pubs that only have something that tastes like cat's piss mixed with flowers.

I blame Brewdog. They make over-hopped beers their brand, people bought into the hype, now all breweries are desperately trying to prove they are 'hip' and 'new' by making beers from hops and stupid flavourings.

I think the Americans were making very hoppy beer long before Brewdog – making use of the new world hop varieties that grow so well in the Pacific north-west. I was supping murky craft beers in the US long before Brewdog existed.

I'm a big fan of hoppy monster beers, though occasionally I like to take a step back, or go with some old-school British hops. Five Points do a nice bitter. Not a super-fan of fruit-flavoured beers unless they're a sour.

Personally, it's great that many pubs now feature a range of beers beyond the traditional grim firing squad of pumps for Fosters, Carling, and Guinness. And yes, a taster should be expected if you want one.

[Basil]

Of course, I realise why these pubs don't offer a standard 'Best Bitter' alongside all the hipster crap.  If they did, they'd get loads of grumpy old gits like me who stay for ages but only buy 1 or sometimes 2.

[CAMRAMan]

Of course, I realise why these pubs don't offer a standard 'Best Bitter' alongside all the hipster crap.  If they did, they'd get loads of grumpy old gits like me who stay for ages but only buy 1 or sometimes 2.

Batham's and Holden's breweries in the Black Country are two examples of how good, honest & delicious beer - with limited choice - can be sold to a wide variety of customers in fairly basic surroundings. (With the exception of the Holden's pub in West Bromwich that has been 'transformed' by a modern refurb.)

[robgul]

Went to buy another couple of solar security lights from Amazon - the ones I bought back in May are now listed as "Prime only" - i.e. you have to be a Prime member . . . or pay nearly 25% more for them.  Bastards.

Whenever they have a "free to join for nn time" offers on Prime I've joined and then cancelled at the last minute, but there seem to be fewer offers/opportunities.

[SoreTween]

I've just filled out a form in which I had 7 fields to fill out.  It's a Terd .docx.  6 different text formats set for the 7 table cells.  Another party had filled out 2 fields prior to sending to me, 2 more formats. 
No marching ants, surprisingly.

(Some people need a slap upside the head sooo badly)

[Mrs Pingu]

After the Pissy Landlord Electric Shower dying a couple of weeks back, tonight, in an unusual fit of tidy I decided to shove the Dyson round the carpets. Except it made a farting noise and emitted that funny smell of burning electrics.
 

[Jurek]

After the Pissy Landlord Electric Shower dying a couple of weeks back, tonight, in an unusual fit of tidy I decided to shove the Dyson round the carpets. Except it made a farting noise and emitted that funny smell of burning electrics.
 

Nilfisk is your friend.

[Mrs Pingu]

Spoke to a local repair place on FB who reckon they can replace the motor for 30 squids (which seems like a bargain having googled how to), if that's what it is, so going to give them a try. I wouldn't buy another one new cos Brexshit etc but I like my Dyson. It must be about 16 or 17 yrs old so it doesn't owe me anything.

[Beardy]

It’s the majic smoke that’s escaped. If,you ask Kim, she might have a sachet of it lying around 

[spesh]

It’s the majic smoke that’s escaped. If,you ask Kim, she might have a sachet of it lying around 

I think you'll find that it comes in jars: https://www.mez.co.uk/smoke2.jpg 

NB: You need to specify which type of magic smoke, depending on earthing arrangements: https://www.ntnoa.org/photos/2016/smoke.jpg

[jsabine]

Your links make it appear as though the only supplier of said majic smoke is the Prince of Darkness - that seems a little anti-competitive. What if we do not wish to support his monopolistic practices?

[Mr Larrington]

Magic smoke is available from Chinese suppliers.  Trouble is, you can never be sure whether it’s spying on you and reporting back to the Central Policy Research Office.

[Kim]

You've also got to make sure you're not using N-type smoke when you need P-type, otherwise the electrons go backwards.

[Clare]

My mug has developed a crack and my brown drink has escaped.

 

It was my tea mug
It had power to restore
No more mighty mug.

[Cudzoziemiec]

That is a tragic happening. You have my sympathy. If you knocked on my door, you'd have my tea. But you cannot have my mug!

[phantasmagoriana]

Waitrose are bringing back their free coffee! Which would be great, if I still lived within half a mile of a Waitrose...

[Mr Larrington]

Well, if you insist on putting brown drink inna TEA mug you shouldn’t be surprised that it commits suicide

[Canardly]

My mug has developed a crack and my brown drink has escaped.

 

It was my tea mug
It had power to restore
No more mighty mug.

Thats what happens when you use them upside down.