Weird/funny dreams you've had

[Kim]

I had a dream the other night that featured baby vomit.

This was notable because it's the first time I've ever remembered a dream involving a smell.

Was any cheese involved earlier that evening?  If so, what sort? (so it can be avoided)

No, but I was sharing a small tent with a pair of 3-day-old Sealskinz socks...

[Andrij]

Sealskinz, at this time of year?!  It's still sandal weather, even on night rides!

[Kim]

Sealskinz, at this time of year?!  It's still sandal weather, even on night rides!

a) Sandals for riding, but Sealskinz are handy all year round for wet grass on campsites.  I think they got smelly from exposure to the sandals on the outside, rather than from feet on the inside.

b) Wales.

[Andrij]

b) Wales.

'nuf sed.

[Vince]

I was waiting to have an operation and the nurse wanted to remove my pubic hair...

(click to show/hide)

with a blow torch

[Ruthie]

I was in Charlotte and Julian's back garden.  Their pet cow blew all the foam off their garden water feature before having a good drink out of it.  They had a dog with one eye in the middle of its head, like an English bull terrier, that was running round the garden.  And they had another dog, like a shaggy jack russell, with only three legs.

[woollypigs]

Last night dream was a really good action dream. Small aliens (out of Aliens) the size of a cocker spaniel, that laid eggs inside living cows with the side open. They attacked in packs like wolves. You could train dogs with rabies to be look outs for the aliens. Three blows by a whistle and the dogs relaxed and you go and feed/pet them. Three other blows with the whistle and they were back into attack/guard mode. Guns, C4, home made bows and arrows, zombie style axes, trap doors with spikes were used in the fight against these xenomorphs. Could be a great movie, in the style of 28 days later/48 hours later. Sadly I woke up and had to go to the toilet mid dream. When I got back to bed, my stomach was making noises like when the alien - chestburster - was just about to pop out of a human in the movie(s).

[Torslanda]

Ruthie - You need to take more water with it.
Woolly - Whatever your drinking I'll have a bottle!

[woollypigs]

Woolly - Whatever your drinking I'll have a bottle!

If I remember I'll bring one of my moonshinehomebrewed IPAs the next time we meet.

[L CC]

I dreamt I was at the arrivee of an audax that I'd just completed (a rarity these days) with Mr Smith and LittleWheelsAndBig. It was a pub LW&B was explaining, in his inimitable style, to a group of n00b riders from t'North that they had completely messed up their ride plan, and were now irrevocably out of time.
As we were packing our bikes in to cars,  LW&B said how sorry he was that he'd had to cheer me up on the ride - I am not really enjoying my riding much at the moment. He went on to say that when he felt like that...

And then my alarm went off. I was on the verge of an enormous breakthrough, a really useful revelation and it was taken away by the alarm. I was quite put out.

[Kim]

Almost but not quite predicted by this post, this one featured (amongst more sensible things) Julian OTP using git to develop new sandwich fillings.

[Cudzoziemiec]

A few days, or rather nights, ago. I was riding up a steep, narrow country lane with a group of other cyclists and, strangely, walkers. The very narrowest part of the lane was the top of the hill, and just as I was approaching this point, a farmer led a huge bull with gigantic, straight, sharply pointed horns, out of a gate on the left, followed by other men with more normal looking cows, forcing us all to stop.

It all makes perfect sense: the ginaggerous bull was an aurochs, or its Nazi-recreation, and the hill was a much smaller version of Harptree Hill on the northern slope of the Mendips, where on last year's Ball Buster,[url] I was forced to walk a while by another rider who had dismounted in front of me at the narrowest part (which is not the top), blocking the whole hill (no shame in walking Harptree Hill, but please, do so in a way that allows others to get past you).

[delthebike]

Parked bike outside of a pub, stands provided, bought a pint of IPA and was charged £6.50 which I didn't think anything of (this must be one of those deja vu dreams set in the future). Gave the barman a ten pound note and he gave me Indian Rupees as change.
After a bit of a row I said give me my tenner and I'll pay with a debit card. I went to my bag, which was on a nearby table, and explained to Dez what had happened, he was busy sitting at the bar pushing the Fosters tap from its mount on the bar and causing the tap to leak over the bar.

[Kim]

I dreamt that I was playing Wombles.  A computer game from the early 90s, where you use a clunky ball-mouse to control dozens of ten-pixel-high eponymous sprites by instructing them to manipulate discarded items that they collect as they wander around the park and burrow-based levels, stigmergically directing the colony towards achieving some objective.

Not exactly original, but a good enough idea that I'm disappointed it isn't real.

[Mrs Pingu]

Last night I had a whole pile of weird dreams. The 1st an anxiety dream that our plasterer (who is supposed to be making our living room all nice while we're on hols) has left loads of big holes in the walls and then gone incommunicado.
The next one I was in some sort of cat rescue centre with somebody I work with, her kids and our vet, and we were spoffling kitties (hmm... I wonder what that could mean).
The others I can't remember now, but they were weird as well.

[Vince]

I dreamt that I had to register with the council before I was allowed to use pelican crossings.

[graculus]

I dreamt that I had to register with the council before I was allowed to use pelican crossings.

Shh! That'll be UKIP policy next week if we're not careful.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

I'm on the Nightnurse this week which always gives me weird dreams and waking hallucinations. I can't remember much of it though.

[Mr Larrington]

Myself, Miss von Brandenburg and overheight Dutch HPV loonhouse Thomas van Schaik had to deal with someone attempting to burgle Larrington Towers in broad daylight.  It ended with Thomas carrying him down the street while Miss von B kicked him repeatedly in the 'nads   I think I stamped on his glasses at one point.

[fuzzy]

Paolo Di Canio and I were in the pubbe having an pint (Old Speckled Hen) discussing the merits of that well known striker Balakki (The spawn of an unholy union between Mario Baloteli and Michael Ballack) whom Paolo had tried to buy when he was the manager of my team.

Having decided that, had things gone the way he wanted, we would be Premier League by now, he then started to wax lyrical about his manicurist, showing me his damn fine scarlet nail varnish with bas relief gold detailing.

[tiermat]

Not weird, or funny in the slightest.  However I need to tell someone.

Last night I woke, at about 4AM, in a cold sweat, as I had a VERY vivid dream that TLD had died, and the overarching thing I remember from it is that I felt NOTHING, not sadness, not grief, not a sense of being put out having to arrange the funeral etc etc.

This makes me Am I such a bad father that I would feel like that?

[mrcharly-YHT]

Not nice dream at all phil

Being utterly empty of feeling isn't actually unusual.  I think it is protection.

[Ruthie]

No of course you wouldn't feel like that you silly sod. 

IT WAS JUST A DREAM.

[Ruthie]

I dreamed I'd been to an interview for a promotion. And I was doing a university module and had submitted an essay. I found out I had got the job, and passed the module, and Charlotte had marked my essay which was something to do with the role of women.

[Wowbagger]

I had a very strange dream in which I "did a Goldilocks" - marching into someone else's house in their absence and slept in their bed. When I woke up there was still no-one around and when it was time for me to leave I borrowed one of their bicycles. Later on I tried to return it but couldn't find the house again.

Fast forward, and I was in a school, asleep in the staff room. It was lunch time and when I woke up the food had finished being served and I was in danger of getting no lunch. Then Woollypigs arrived in the nick of time and, in Danish, managed to negotiate some food for me.

Good chap, that Woollypigs...