Author Topic: Overheard today  (Read 120723 times)

pdm

  • Sheffield hills? Nah... Just potholes.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #125 on: 16 November, 2014, 02:04:58 pm »
People in Edale are round the bend and beyond Hope.

Ah - but they are at the foot of the stairway to heaven (Jacob's Ladder)!

Guy

  • Retired
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #126 on: 17 November, 2014, 11:31:43 am »
Small boy skipping along beside his Dad

"Aww. Is the chip shop not open?"

At half past nine on Sunday morning ;D
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #127 on: 12 December, 2014, 07:33:09 pm »
Chap on the train sat across the carriage from me talking about his experience on a recent organised bike ride, presumably a mass start event:

"I clipped my left foot in, tried to clip my right foot in, couldn't manage it, and fell over talking about 15 people with me like dominoes. ...."  :facepalm:
not so much a gravel grinder.... more of a gravel groveller


Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #128 on: 08 January, 2015, 10:54:14 pm »
Wearing my Foska Marmite jacket I overheard this from behind:

Quote from: Joe Public
I thought that said 'Hate Jews'.

 :-[

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #129 on: 27 February, 2015, 03:18:50 pm »
"...and when I got to the airport, I realised I'd left my passport in the toilet. But it was in the other toilet."
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #130 on: 27 February, 2015, 03:32:17 pm »
I'm not sure this one really counts as overheard, seeing as I took part in it, but it wasn't initially directed towards me.

Son, to his mother: "That's too much kanapki."

Me, interrupting: "You mean 'Too many kanapek'!"

I know all the kids use much for countables nowadays, but in some languages at least, you should still distinguish between nominative and genitive.  ::-)
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #131 on: 27 February, 2015, 03:43:47 pm »
I'm not sure this one really counts as overheard, seeing as I took part in it, but it wasn't initially directed towards me.

Son, to his mother: "That's too much kanapki."

Me, interrupting: "You mean 'Too many kanapek'!"

I know all the kids use much for countables nowadays, but in some languages at least, you should still distinguish between nominative and genitive.  ::-)

 :thumbsup:
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #132 on: 04 March, 2015, 10:51:25 pm »
Voice outside just now:  "WHYY??  It's so COLD!"

(Sensor currently reads 3.4C, so I can't disagree.)

essexian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #133 on: 05 March, 2015, 02:31:40 pm »
Overheard at the bus stop yesterday…. Picture the scene… female aged 17 to 21 talking loudly on her mobile phone:

Female: “Yes, like it was so unfair…. Okay I did phone her and leave a voicemail on her phone saying that I would stamp on her head until she was dead and then do the same to her boyfriend but did she need to phone the police and get me arrested??!!!! It’s so unfair.”

Got to say I had to walk away as I was laughing so much…… I supposed you had to be there but it sounded so funny to me!

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #134 on: 06 March, 2015, 05:12:43 pm »
Old bloke at the allotment today: "I've got a new phone, too bloody complicated for its own good, mind you the battery's good on it now I'm not using it so much"
Uh?
Too many angry people - breathe & relax.

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #135 on: 06 March, 2015, 05:34:40 pm »
Old bloke at the allotment today: "I've got a new phone, too bloody complicated for its own good, mind you the battery's good on it now I'm not using it so much"
Uh?

Handed in a leash at retirement?

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #136 on: 16 March, 2015, 05:48:46 pm »
"Hello?  I'm in Sainsbury's.  Yeah, I'm just waiting for him to decide which type of balsamic vinegar he wants."

They don't make students like they used to.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #137 on: 19 March, 2015, 12:48:17 pm »
'Michael Faraday? he did the Riverdance thing?'

Marco Stefano

  • Apply some pressure, you lose some pressure...
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #138 on: 23 March, 2015, 08:22:19 am »
Driving with pair of Useless Colleagues across Norfolk last week, on road past Marham:

UC1: I don't like this road.

UC2: Yeah, it's a bit of a roller-coaster, isn't it?

UC1: I don't like it; it's too long.

Perhaps she would prefer it to end in the middle of a field in a few hundred metres? Wouldn't get her to where she was going, but at least it wouldn't be too long...  ::-)

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #139 on: 23 March, 2015, 05:17:26 pm »
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage

"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."

I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."
not so much a gravel grinder.... more of a gravel groveller


Re: Overheard today
« Reply #140 on: 23 March, 2015, 06:25:19 pm »
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage

"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."

I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."

Easy for him to say. The client's going down, and he still gets paid.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #141 on: 23 March, 2015, 07:44:54 pm »
Whatever happened to confidentiality?
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #142 on: 23 March, 2015, 10:01:59 pm »
Whatever happened to confidentiality?

That only applies when you try to access your own case notes.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #143 on: 23 March, 2015, 10:11:19 pm »
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage

"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."

I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."

Easy for him to say. The client's going down, and he still gets paid.

Yebbut it sounds like he didn't have a leg on which to stand. It can't be easy defending someone who is, by all accounts, guilty.

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #144 on: 03 April, 2015, 05:16:48 pm »
Nurse: "Do you want the blue [needle] or the orange one?"

Doc: "I can't tell the difference. Which one's cheaper?"

Nurse: "I don't know. [Struggling to remove needle from packaging] I really should have glasses!"

Me (sitting inches away, waiting for the doc to cut a mole off my neck): "I find your pre-op banter slightly unnerving."

(It all went fine)
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #145 on: 03 April, 2015, 05:56:31 pm »
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage

"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."

I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."

I've been in one on the other end of false documents.   I spotted the forgery, the judge chewed up the other side and spat them out unceremoniously.

There was no prison sentence involved...

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #146 on: 12 April, 2015, 11:46:40 pm »
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage

"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."

I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."

Easy for him to say. The client's going down, and he still gets paid.

Yebbut it sounds like he didn't have a leg on which to stand. It can't be easy defending someone who is, by all accounts, guilty.
I was once a witness in a trial for assault. The first defence lawyer rattled me a bit, being better than me at it, but he still didn't look happy. Then the other one started - & I almost laughed, because it was obvious that the two defendants had told different stories. This lawyer looked even more unhappy.

The prosecution barrister (a very young-looking, fresh-faced bloke) was very cheerful, though. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, as he simply took me through the significant parts of my statement, & had me show where I was coming from (a pub) & going to (my home) on a map (thus, apparently, showing up inconsistencies & nonsenses in their statements). He had a couple more witnesses telling the same story as mine, as well - or so I believe, because it was true, & they had no more reason to lie than I did.

The defendants were guilty as hell, & everyone knew it, including their lawyers, who knew they didn't have a chance. I reckon one was pretty pleased that his client walked out, his time inside waiting for trial (because he'd been caught red-handed driving a stolen car or something while out on bail) having been offset against all of his sentence.

I expect that barristers are used to undefendable (because it's obvious they're guilty) clients.
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

ian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #147 on: 14 April, 2015, 09:38:54 am »
Sitting in a pub in deepest, darkest Surrey waiting for someone, there's a table of OAPs next to mine. They were wondering amongst themselves what to call people of non-white skin persuasions in our brave new world, and how unfair it was those delightful terms of yore had been pushed out of usage, after all, it's 'our' country and 'we should be able to call them what we like'. It's not all bad though, they wouldn't use those terms in 'their' country. That's 'polite', apparently.

It goes without saying there was a copy of the Daily Mail on their table.

Tigerrr

  • That England that was wont to conquer others Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.
  • Not really a Tiger.
    • Humanist Celebrant.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #148 on: 14 April, 2015, 10:09:54 am »
Thornbury near Bristol.
"she's on antibitotics now".
Humanists UK Funeral and Wedding Celebrant. Trying for godless goodness.
http://humanist.org.uk/michaellaird

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #149 on: 27 April, 2015, 05:31:55 pm »
Phone conversation on today's train.

"It's like signing your own death bed."
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.