Author Topic: Overheard today  (Read 120701 times)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #450 on: 19 March, 2019, 05:51:26 pm »
Requested to make an espresso martini for SWMBO at about [rugby o'clock] on Saturday after getting home from Audax, daughter number one asks "isn't it a bit early?

I responded "the sun's over the yardarm"

Reply "what's an aardvark got to do with it?"

So that has been adopted as "do you want a drink?"
"Well, the sun IS over the aardvark"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mrs Pingu

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Re: Overheard today
« Reply #451 on: 19 March, 2019, 06:08:47 pm »
 :thumbsup:
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #452 on: 19 March, 2019, 06:19:41 pm »
TBF, while neither aardvarks nor yardarms are everyday objects in 21st century Britain, only the first is a reasonably common word. I call it a reasonable mishearing and serendipitous for its phrase-creation.  :thumbsup:

Could aardvarks be the new narwhals?
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #453 on: 21 March, 2019, 07:41:33 pm »
One retired gent to another, exiting LBS as I entered: "And it's even lighter than my golf cart."
They seemed to have been looking at Bromptons, so I guess his golf cart isn't a Pinarello.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

ian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #454 on: 27 March, 2019, 09:10:37 pm »
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.

Bless.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #455 on: 28 March, 2019, 07:53:19 am »
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.

Bless.
Did she report how the poor boy responded? 😳
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #456 on: 28 March, 2019, 08:51:37 am »
She'll get the hang of it.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

ian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #457 on: 28 March, 2019, 09:22:39 am »
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.

Bless.
Did she report how the poor boy responded? 😳

Apparently not well judging by the number of WhatsApp messages it spawned and the tears of mirth coming out of my wife's eyes as she read them, he's about fourteen. I don't think this kind of thing is dinner time conversation in their house.

In mine, on the other hand, we once spent literally hours thinking up an adult version of Trivial Pursuit.

Guy

  • Retired
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #458 on: 28 March, 2019, 12:43:31 pm »
One feels the need to ask: What on Earth is "Teabagging"? And why does not-knowing generate such mirth?  ???
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

ian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #459 on: 28 March, 2019, 12:47:17 pm »
Ah, innocence.

Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #460 on: 28 March, 2019, 12:58:59 pm »
Ah, innocence.

Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.

I'm really sorry I googled that.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #461 on: 28 March, 2019, 01:11:12 pm »
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
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Re: Overheard today
« Reply #462 on: 28 March, 2019, 01:49:00 pm »
One feels the need to ask: What on Earth is "Teabagging"? And why does not-knowing generate such mirth?  ???
It's asking a fourteen-year-old that is mirthy.
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
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Mr Larrington

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Re: Overheard today
« Reply #463 on: 28 March, 2019, 03:13:57 pm »
Ah, innocence.

Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.

 I've seen them around Monterey.

["Those were sea otters!" - Ed.]
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ian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #464 on: 28 March, 2019, 04:30:40 pm »
Honestly, even I'm too scared to ask what a 'sea otter' is. It probably involves lubricated bowling balls, a swimming pool, a lot of misplaced enthusiasm, and an embarrassingly public court case.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #465 on: 29 March, 2019, 10:41:53 pm »
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #466 on: 24 April, 2019, 01:06:51 pm »
"...well it's your fault for wearing stupid shoes, isn't it?" - man walking past, to girl wearing stupid shoes, who had stopped to get a piggyback from (presumed) older sister.

(Didn't have my glasses on, but they looked like crocs in early-90s colours.)

ian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #467 on: 01 May, 2019, 10:02:14 pm »
Probably me again, but one of my colleagues was commenting on my conspicuous fruit consumption. You eat a lot of fruit, say she – gives it a moment's thought – like a bat.

Sometimes I eat moths too, I cheerily reply, just well, because.

At that moment, our CEO's lieutenant and chief executioner pops up from behind the desk partition, looks at us, shakes her head, says nothing and backs away.

For the record, I don't eat moths, I do eat a lot of fruit, and hanging upside down makes me dizzy.

essexian

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #468 on: 02 May, 2019, 10:29:25 am »
I got called "Odd" yesterday.  ;D

Funny thing is that the person who said it came up to me afterwards and said sorry. "No worries" I said, "I've been called a lot worse!"   ;D

Frankly, I don't mind being seen as being a bit "odd" as, er, well I am.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #469 on: 08 May, 2019, 09:14:07 pm »
Not heard directly by me, but reported by Ms Beardy the younger As overheard while visiting her cousins.
‘Leo William ~~~~~~, sit down on your bottom and eat your smoked Tofu’ shortly after his younger sibling was told ‘Geneva Rose ~~~~~~ fasten your gillet this minute’.

 Now, I’m not saying my nephew isn’t just a bit middle class, but the evidence would I feel support such an observation  ;D
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #470 on: 18 May, 2019, 04:49:22 pm »
Middle aged man and teenage girl waiting for the lift to arrive.

Man in resigned voice "You'll have to take them back, there's no point in having an expensive pair of netball shoes that you can't wear because they don't fit"

Girl in optimistic voice "They half fit"
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #471 on: 03 June, 2019, 10:23:58 pm »
"Functionally, do I need to be able to squat, unless I'm going into the French countryside?"

(From a discussion of the relevance of various tests in spinal muscular atrophy, so not actually a humorous topic... )
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #472 on: 05 June, 2019, 06:34:38 am »
On a crowded commuter train
"oi, you can't stand in first class, you're Australian"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #473 on: 11 June, 2019, 01:20:47 pm »
Quote
While we were on holiday I found out that my husband is useless.

He couldn't ride up the hills so I had to take the luggage off his bike and carry it for him.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #474 on: 14 July, 2019, 06:42:32 pm »
Passed on from my son today.

He's helping set up a marquee on the local village green for the annual fete.
His friend says,"what on earth is that thing", as I cycle past on my recumbent trike.
Son replies, "that's my dad".
Friend says, "that explains a lot".
I don't want to grow old gracefully. I want to grow old disgracefully.