... so...
chief and I were sitting in the S&C. It was a quiet, strangely misty night. We took to discussing the matters of the day, including the inexplicable absence of our chum, Oscar's dad. After all, the outing was to one of his favourite pubs, near Witham. How could the absence be explained?
We left the subject for a while and discussed unrelated things - Tomsk's "book club", our recent Xmas outing to Henham (and the "Henham Mum's Book Club") and other matters.
At this point a Gent, clad in a Deerstalker (a surprisingly common hat at the S&C - they do serve lots of game -- in fact, the only more common hat in there is the Veryverylocalpigeonstalker), moved across from the bar and joined us at our commodious
1 table. (To make the following easier to follow Oaky and chief are labelled as "cO" and the Strange Hombre is "SH").
SH: "You two are like all the rest - you SEE but you DO NOT OBSERVE!"
cO: "Um....?" (in Unison
1.)
SH: "It's obvious what has happened to your chum and companion." (stated more laconically than was strictly necessary)
cO: "Err...?" (both looking gormless)
SH: "You mentioned that OD
started the thread himself, so he was obviously aware of it as a communication method.
Furthermore he had
commented during the discussion of this outing, so he was aware you'd be here.
Also, he's
recently expressed awe for Tomsk's physical prowess."
Suddenly, it all became clear to us, and by applying the stranger's maxim, that he had impressed upon us earlier
3, "Once you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth", we both chanted in Unison
1(again)
He has obviously tried to emulate his cycling hero Tomsk and joined a book club to improve his stamina and work on his "lean and hungry look". It's also obvious that to keep this secret from his chums for a sufficient time to drop them like debris from the "bike what he built" on The Mighty North Hill, he couldn't join the Dunmow book for he would be discovered in short order by the Tomskinator no matter how good his disguise.
He has therefore (obviously) spent the night riding across to Henham for the Henham Mums Book Club evening.
Even now, as I write this, he's sat at home in Witham, with his MAGIC SACTM cooling in an ice bucket whilst he tries to remember where he left his helmet, underwear and sanity.
1. Regulars will know to which table this refers.
2. Having joined a Union specially for the occasion, mainly to please clarion.
3. Before buggering off without buying a round! (He was apparently in a hurry to go to the theatre or cinema or watch TV or something similar - his parting words were a rather urgent sounding "I have to leave - I need to find 'what's on'. I need to find 'what's on' this instant!". Then there was something about "Lemon Entry"
)
