In fact, a TA.
K, in Y6, was given some cash to get himself some breakfast on the way to school. He got a Subway and some cookies for £7.50, apparently. He put it with all the other lunch boxes and the morning passed as usual. Come lunchtime, he found that a girl in Y3 was eating his Sub! There was no possibility that she'd mistaken it for her own, as she had nothing similar. Not only that, but she'd taken his 50p change. K was, understandably, pretty upset. The fuss was smoothed over by the head getting K an identical Sub out of his own money. But the befuddling statement — in fact, not befuddling but laughably, transparently, untrue and (as the kids say) inappropriate — was the TA trying to calm things down with "It's just the same as if your brother had taken it." No. No, it's not. Because "If it was my brother, I'd share it with him because he's my brother." Bullshitting to kids, even with good intentions, just makes TA look like shit.