Lyrics that make you grin (or frown...)

[cygnet]

I've been listening to the radio
Trying to find some self expression
I've been listening to the Women's Hour
I've been listening to Gardener's Question Time
But everything I try to grow - I can't even grow a dandelion

[fd3]

And, obviously, the way John Lydon makes "anarchist" and "antichrist" rhyme when he sings Anarchy in the UK.

Pretty VaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaCUNT!
(I'd actually never noticed it, sooper roode at the time and I reckon would still not get airtime to this day).

[fd3]

"Son, I am able," she said
"Though you scare me."
"Watch," said I "beloved,"
I said, "Watch me scare you though,"
Said she, "Able am I son."

Not an actual palindrome.

[Wobbly John]

Now some they do and some they don't
And some you just can't tell
And some they will and some they won't
With some it's just as well

Supertramp - Goodbye Stranger (a song about one-night-stands)

[ElyDave]

I can genuinely say most of The Moody Blues, introduced by my dad, but the thing that really hooked me was the lyrics

Nice to be Here as an example

Nice to be here hope you agree
Lying in the sun
Lovely weather, must climb a tree
The show has just begun

All the leaves start swaying
To the breeze that's playing
On a thousand violins
And the bees are humming
To a frog sat strumming
On a guitar with only one string

I can see them they can't see me
I feel out of sight
I can see them they can't see me
Much to my delight

And it seems worth noting
Water rats were boating
As a lark began to sing
The sounds kept coming
With Jack Rabbit loudly drumming
On the side of a biscuit tin

with solos at the end of each verse.  Justin Hayward said he tried to do his on only one string, but had to use two.

And then there's the lines

Blasting, billowing, bursting forth
With the power of ten billion butterfly sneezes
Man with his flaming pyre
Has conquered the wayward breezes

Climbing to tranquility
Far above the cloud
Conceiving the heavens
Clear of misty shroud

I'd love to work out the energy equivalent of a butterfly sneeze

Driftwood is another of my faves.
Do you get the impression I could go on here

[Ham]

most of The Moody Blues, introduced by my dad

Yeah, thanks Dave

[fd3]

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[CrazyEnglishTriathlete]

Well, I get up at seven, yeah
And I go to work at nine
I got no time for livin'
Yes, I'm workin' all the time

It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am
I guess that's why they call me
They call me the workin' man

They call me the workin' man
I guess that's what I am

'Cause I get home at five o'clock
And I take myself out an ice cold

Rush - Working Man - brilliant song but...

I wish....

[Mr Larrington]

He doesn't specify how long his commute is either.

[madcow]

Now some they do and some they don't
And some you just can't tell
And some they will and some they won't
With some it's just as well

Supertramp - Goodbye Stranger (a song about one-night-stands)

Some girls will, some girls won't
Some girls need a lot of lovin' and some girls don't
Well, I know I've got the fever but I don't know why
Some say they will and some girls lie

Some Girls-Racey

Same sentiment, different style.
Both released in 1979, when the charts had literally every type of record in them from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Supertramp vs Racey .

By far the best line on this theme is  Tiger Feet by Mud.

I've got a feeling in my knees
It's a feeling only you can please.

Usually emotions are heart, head or stomach. but for Les it was the knees. Classic.

[Peter]

Is it still over?
Are we still through?
Since my phone still ain't ringing
I assume it still ain't you

Bell/Henley for Randy Travis

[sg37409]

Lou Reed, from the excellent New York album. From 1989 !

"Well I know one thing that really is true
this here's a zoo and the keeper ain't you
And I'm sick of it
I'm Sick of You"

[Legs]

There's Basie, Miller, Satchmo, and the king of all, Sir Duke / And with a voice like Ella's ringing out, there's no way the band can lose.

Irks.

Freaky - I was just rereading this thread and Sir Duke comes on the radio (BBC R2).

[Ham]

Time, he's waiting in the wings
He speaks of senseless things
His script is you and me, boy

Time, he flexes like a whore
Falls wanking to the floor
His trick is you and me, boy

Thank you, Tom Robinson, for reminding me, even if you couldn't play it on your time themed show.

[rafletcher]

Well, I get up at seven, yeah
And I go to work at nine
I got no time for livin'
Yes, I'm workin' all the time

It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am
I guess that's why they call me
They call me the workin' man

They call me the workin' man
I guess that's what I am

'Cause I get home at five o'clock
And I take myself out an ice cold

Rush - Working Man - brilliant song but...

I wish....

“I get up around 7
Get outta bed around 9..”

Guns ‘n Roses Mr Brownstone.

[Steph]

Hey, hey, human gonna do The Strain
I'm gonna grip the seat I'm gonna pull your chain
Barbed-wire bum baby, be like me
We're gonna do the strain on the lavatory

We're gonna e-eeeeeeeeease it out
We're gonna squee-eeeeeeeeeeze it out
So get a grip on your seat. We're gonna get relief somehow

[guitar solo]

Nnnnnggggggh!
Nnnnnggggggh!

[talking]

Every time I settle down and try to read a book
The telephone starts ringing so I leave it off the hook
The Jehovah's Witness come knocking at my door
I try to tell them nicely but they still come back for more
Straining, complaining--No! I'm not complaining
I just got a lot of shit in me - gotta get it out!

Nnnnnggggggh!
Nnnnnggggggh!