Author Topic: it's friday, so back to that new topic business  (Read 4971 times)

ian

it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« on: 30 April, 2021, 02:28:05 pm »
Last week, I tried to start a new topic. It seems, faced with an audience, that I was struck by a case of performance anxiety, and not even a dose of figurative viagra could put the perk back in my topic starting.

Today, I'm feeling a bit more confident and optimistic that I might be able to start a topic later. I can't make any promises. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster here.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #1 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:03:35 pm »
You need a more clickbaity subject line. Here are a few suggestions...

"7 reasons you simply must read ian's new thread"

"ian started a new thread and you'll never guess what happened next"

"90% of yacf users don't know this neat trick to make you read ian's new thread"
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #2 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:05:41 pm »
You need a more clickbaity subject line. Here are a few suggestions...

"7 reasons you simply must read ian's new thread"

"ian started a new thread and you'll never guess what happened next"

"90% of yacf users don't know this neat trick to make you read ian's new thread"

Do you work for <INSERT COUNTY NAME> Live website?

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #3 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:05:46 pm »
"Thread postponed until 2022 because of COVID".
It is simpler than it looks.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #4 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:08:25 pm »
Do you work for <INSERT COUNTY NAME> Live website?

No, but I have recently done a course in SEO.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #5 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:19:52 pm »
Over 40s in Swindon are missing out on this unbelievable benefit
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #6 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:21:54 pm »
Well it's Friday so that explains many things.
Current mood: AARRRGGGGHHHHH !!! #bollockstobrexit

ravenbait

  • Someone's imaginary friend
  • Pudge controls the weather.
    • Someone's imaginary friend
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #7 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:22:22 pm »
"Learn the amazing transformation this housewife achieved by reading Ian's new thread."

Sam
https://ravenbait.com
"Created something? Hah! But that would be irresponsible! And unethical! I would never, ever make... more than one."

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #8 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:24:10 pm »
Over 40s in Swindon are missing out on this unbelievable benefit
Over 40s in a place nowhere near where you are but somebody's spammy computer thinks you are are missing out on this unbelieavable benefit.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

ian

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #9 on: 30 April, 2021, 03:24:58 pm »
You need a more clickbaity subject line. Here are a few suggestions...

"7 reasons you simply must read ian's new thread"

"ian started a new thread and you'll never guess what happened next"

"90% of yacf users don't know this neat trick to make you read ian's new thread"

Yes, but if I attracted too much attention, I'd wilt even more.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #10 on: 30 April, 2021, 04:11:05 pm »
Has Sir considered mind-expanding substances?  It worked for those De Quincey and Huxley chaps.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

SoreTween

  • Most of me survived the Pennine Bridleway.
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #11 on: 30 April, 2021, 04:27:58 pm »
Clearly this thread, when Ian gets around to starting it, is going to be on the subject of procrastination.
2023 targets: Survive. Maybe.
There is only one infinite resource in this universe; human stupidity.

robgul

  • Cycle:End-to-End webmaster
  • cyclist, Cytech accredited mechanic & woodworker
    • Cycle:End-to-End
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #12 on: 30 April, 2021, 04:31:43 pm »
Clearly this thread, when Ian gets around to starting it, is going to be on the subject of procrastination.

Hopefully infinite procrastination

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #13 on: 30 April, 2021, 05:22:53 pm »
"You'll never believe how old/young/terrible/amazing $forummember looks now!"
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #14 on: 30 April, 2021, 05:33:00 pm »
I have it on good authority that ian has grown a Tony Blair mullet in lockdown.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

ian

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #15 on: 30 April, 2021, 05:37:46 pm »
Clearly this thread, when Ian gets around to starting it, is going to be on the subject of procrastination.

Hopefully infinite procrastination

Man, this is a tough crowd. It's worse than stand-up. Or in my case, sit-down.

Chris S

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #16 on: 30 April, 2021, 05:50:21 pm »
"Fifteen reasons why Ian can't get it up1."

(You won't believe #5)

1 Nooooo, his thread, duh!

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #17 on: 30 April, 2021, 06:11:24 pm »
"You'll be amazed at what Rogerzilla looks like now"

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #18 on: 30 April, 2021, 06:11:40 pm »
“ian's new thread IS TAKING THE INTERNET BY STORM!”

“UK SENIORS CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IAN'S NEW THREAD!”

“Why ian's new thread could cure cancer of the house price!”
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #19 on: 30 April, 2021, 06:44:11 pm »
Ian was amazed when he learnt this one simple trick to starting a new topic.

What science can't explain about Ian starting a new topic.

<i>Marmite slave</i>

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #20 on: 30 April, 2021, 07:14:27 pm »
“ian's new topic can burn belly fat while you sleep!”
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #21 on: 30 April, 2021, 07:51:17 pm »
Is starting a new topic about not having started a new topic a new topic?

Chris S

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #22 on: 30 April, 2021, 08:30:19 pm »
Is starting a new topic about not having started a new topic a new topic?

Why not start a new topic about that, and see?

I guess this is what happens when we finally run out of bike topics to talk about. Surely we haven't done the points for 100s topic enough yet?

ian

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #23 on: 30 April, 2021, 09:31:57 pm »
I nearly created an anti-topic about the things that haven't and aren't.

Then I stopped myself, because if I had, everything in this group would have been sucked in. By 11.59 pm, the epitaph of this group would be nothing more than a slight increase in residual background radiation.

TimC

  • Old blerk sometimes onabike.
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #24 on: 30 April, 2021, 09:34:52 pm »
I have to say that, in the pantheon of meaningless and useless threads, this is right up there.