Woohoo!
I found a piece of wood that's just the right length to prop up the waste pipe in the corner. Everything in it is flowing the right way, and staying inside the pipe so I haven't disturbed any joints too much. The outside of the washing machine has been cleaned, as well as the hole it goes into. It's back in the aforementioned hole and running a service wash (no we don't take laundry in - I mean a high temperature wash to clean the machine's innards and tubes).
I'm having a break while Mrs C sorts out the stuff that goes in the cupboard next to the washing machine - mainly an absurd number of tins of sweetcorn and a similarly absurd number of tins of chickpeas (because "they were cheap" according to Mrs C).
When she's done that I'll clean the hole for the dishwasher and refit that.
On the down-side I noticed the washing machine bearings were starting to rumble last week. We've been debating whether to buy new bearings and fit them myself, get someone in to fit new bearings, or just replace the machine. While it was out of its hole I noticed a the front panel (below the door) is showing signs of impending death due to corrosion. I think we've got our answer.
for the money we'll spend, but
for not having to replace a set of washing machine bearings.