Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces (Read 377805 times)

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1275 on:** 11 October, 2016, 01:15:09 pm »

Apparently some of the clowns are tooled-up with hammers, baseball bats and similar Heavy Things. This may stack the odds in their favour. Shoot them and burn the bodies.

Kim · « **Reply #1276 on:** 11 October, 2016, 01:51:44 pm »

It's getting serious: Clowns hit out at 'creepy' pranksters

I thought that sort of thing was reserved for when a member of $ethnic_minority committed a terror offence.

mattc · « **Reply #1277 on:** 11 October, 2016, 01:57:22 pm »

Beginning to sound like something from Terry Pratchett.

[I can't remember which book had the bit about clown guilds, funerals etc - but it was bloody funny]

Kim · « **Reply #1278 on:** 12 October, 2016, 02:10:10 pm »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 10 October, 2016, 10:05:42 pm

I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-37630460

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1279 on:** 12 October, 2016, 03:09:53 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 12 October, 2016, 02:10:10 pm

Quote from: rogerzilla on 10 October, 2016, 10:05:42 pm
I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-37630460

Well, there had to be at least one good thing to come out of it

According to some prawn on Friendspace it is also deterring Small People from going out on the streets and Demanding ~~Money~~ Goods with Menaces (I believe it's also known as "Trick Or Treat"). If this is the case the butler will be relieved as he won't have to set up those automatically-trigged Spandaus I bought from the nice ex-Stasi officer at a car boot sale in Frankfurt an der Oder a few years back.

mattc · « **Reply #1280 on:** 12 October, 2016, 04:07:34 pm »

The headline writers at bbc.co.uk are treating clownageddon with a touch of tongue in their cheek. Here are the 3 "related" stories:

Creepy clown craze: How dangerous are clowns really?

Creepy clown craze: 'Nobody's laughing'

'Creepy clown' sorry for chainsaw stunt amid rise in sightings

rogerzilla · « **Reply #1281 on:** 12 October, 2016, 05:13:12 pm »

Tiger sausage rolls might bite back (or give you the shits a little)

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14797614.Recall_on_allergen_sausage_rolls/

Basil · « **Reply #1282 on:** 17 October, 2016, 04:30:50 pm »

Local man doesn't actually manage something

Vince · « **Reply #1283 on:** 18 October, 2016, 10:31:34 pm »

Model company aims for realism

spesh · « **Reply #1284 on:** 18 October, 2016, 11:13:02 pm »

Quote from: Vince on 18 October, 2016, 10:31:34 pm

Model company aims for realism

You do realise that it's a (mostly) fake news site, don't you?

Quote

You couldn’t make it up. Suffolk is full of strange and wonderful stories, and our tales explode across social media and get repeated by gullible mainstream media, including Sky News and national newspapers.

Join our vibrant Facebook page for updates and ensuing hilarity whenever someone comments after believing something we have written.

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/about/

Vince · « **Reply #1285 on:** 19 October, 2016, 04:12:40 am »

Yes, I was assuming it was the Suffolk equìvelent of Southend News Network.

PeteB99 · « **Reply #1286 on:** 20 October, 2016, 11:30:20 am »

Man steals Venetian blind

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-37695164

Looking at the picture I'm amazed anyone spotted him.

Wombat · « **Reply #1287 on:** 20 October, 2016, 01:51:37 pm »

Quote from: spesh on 18 October, 2016, 11:13:02 pm

Quote from: Vince on 18 October, 2016, 10:31:34 pm
Model company aims for realism

You do realise that it's a (mostly) fake news site, don't you?

Quote
You couldn’t make it up. Suffolk is full of strange and wonderful stories, and our tales explode across social media and get repeated by gullible mainstream media, including Sky News and national newspapers.

Join our vibrant Facebook page for updates and ensuing hilarity whenever someone comments after believing something we have written.

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/about/

Tim Dunn has been tweeting about his bloody rail replacement bus set for at least a couple of years now. I always thought he was an amusing colleague, but since that Trainspotting Live programme, I pretend I don't know him!

rogerzilla · « **Reply #1288 on:** 21 October, 2016, 01:18:59 pm »

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14816337.Bizarre_incident_in_which_a_line_of_chalk_appeared_on_garden_gate_investigated_by_police/

hellymedic · « **Reply #1289 on:** 25 October, 2016, 04:43:24 pm »

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668

Kim · « **Reply #1290 on:** 25 October, 2016, 04:52:19 pm »

Quote from: hellymedic on 25 October, 2016, 04:43:24 pm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668

Quote

It is a phrase synonymous with 1990s ladette culture, used to define brash party girls in one part of England.

They appear to have misspelled "1970s sexist jokes".

mattc · « **Reply #1291 on:** 26 October, 2016, 02:48:24 pm »

<Bzzzzt!>

The BBC is not a provincial news source.

The OED is not a provincial publication.

TOWIE was broadcast UK-wide (and beyond, no doubt!).

It's probably a serious issue, better discussed elsewhere. IMHO

Legs · « **Reply #1292 on:** 28 October, 2016, 02:24:47 pm »

"It's our Keith!"

Kim · « **Reply #1293 on:** 29 October, 2016, 12:19:38 am »

Man suspected of supergluing doors shut

rogerzilla · « **Reply #1294 on:** 29 October, 2016, 07:38:29 am »

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14830769.Mysterious_unicycle_path_causes_confusion_in_Old_Town/#comments-anchor

Wowbagger · « **Reply #1295 on:** 29 October, 2016, 10:13:11 am »

I haven't put anything from our paper for a while. There hasn't been anything funny, and mostly the headlines seem to be associated with stabbings.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #1296 on:** 30 October, 2016, 07:40:34 pm »

Unless it is an arsonist burning out a mobile police station set up in association with the stabbings.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14832371.Arsonists_destroy_police_van_sent_to_reassure_residents_after_double_stabbing/

It could only happen in Southend.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1297 on:** 30 October, 2016, 10:23:24 pm »

I sure it happens so often in ["The Death of the Soul" - Mr Sunshine] it no is longer deemed newsworthy.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #1298 on:** 31 October, 2016, 11:16:14 pm »

Meanwhile, Southend News Network have put in their bid for this year's Christmas no 1.

https://www.facebook.com/southendnewsnetwork/videos/1159893347423470/

billplumtree · « **Reply #1299 on:** 01 November, 2016, 12:24:32 pm »

http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/14833308.Carnforth_Civic_Hall_gets_new_vacuum_cleaner/

Welcome to my world...