Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 26 January, 2016, 05:47:59 pm

Title: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 26 January, 2016, 05:47:59 pm
Today was my colleague's citizenship ceremony and I had suggested we go out for a celebratory lunch afterwards. Another friend and I had agreed it was our treat.











I forgot my purse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 26 January, 2016, 05:51:40 pm
Ooh!
You div!  :P
I can almost certainly contribute to this thread!  :D 
And I nominate this for the Thread Title of the Year award  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: bumper on 26 January, 2016, 05:57:04 pm
I forgot my purse.

That old chesnut  ;D

You're not alone.....
I went to the post office (5mile trip) last week to post a 2ft cardboard tube. Pulled up outside the post office, couldn't find the parcel. It was still at home standing to attention by my front door, I stood it there so I could lock the door.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 January, 2016, 06:05:23 pm
I spent all afternoon trying to debug something. Combing through log file, painstakingly checking syntax.

I'd forgotten to do a #include for the relevant xsl file.

All Sodding Afternoon.

you div
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 26 January, 2016, 06:16:38 pm
Your colleague has just had another lesson in Englishness.  :smug:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 26 January, 2016, 06:25:05 pm
Your colleague has just had another lesson in Englishness.  :smug:

Eeek!!!!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 26 January, 2016, 06:32:18 pm

I forgot my purse.

I did that to Mrs. B (before she was Mrs. B). An expensive restaurant in Bristol. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 26 January, 2016, 09:03:03 pm
Well in the last half year I have gone down to Aldi twice, filled up the trolley, gone to the till, counted it all up, packed it into bags, to find that the money is at home, DOH! What a div!

Good news they will take the trolley out back so you can come and pay and collect later :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2016, 10:14:27 pm
I think most supermarkets will do that.  Must happen fairly often.  I was in Sainsbury's recently where the old lady ahead of me had made that mistake, and got herself quite worked up before the checkout operator explained that they had a cunning mode on the till that could add everything up and present it as a bill for her to pay at customer services when she came back later.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 26 January, 2016, 11:15:48 pm
Nothing immediately springs to mind from the recent past, but one of my more spectacular ones was to fill up our previous car with petrol, queue for quite some time to pay for it, and the checkout person looking at me puzzled because there was nothing to pay on that particular pump. After some confusion on both sides of the till they managed to convince me that I had already paid at the pump, much to the amusement of the people queuing behind me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2016, 11:16:29 pm
Come back when you've filled your current car with petrol...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 January, 2016, 11:38:16 am
Getting 3/4 of the way through dinner before noting that my wallet was in my motel room on the other side of town.  I offered to leave my watch and kindle as security while I went to fetch it but they instead gave me a free meal :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 27 January, 2016, 12:02:51 pm
I 'lost' a mobile phone in a hotel in Manila at the end of a three month stay. I reported it to the management just so if it turned up they'd know where to send it. I had no reason to suspect it had been stolen. The police were called, statements demanded and given. After the police had left I found it behind the room safe - which had a gap behind it just the right size for a mobile phone. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: bumper on 27 January, 2016, 12:21:17 pm
looks like most of us on here are fuckwits  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 27 January, 2016, 12:27:38 pm
 
looks like most of us on here are fuckwits  ;D
Only just noticed?   ;D :D ;) :P :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: bumper on 27 January, 2016, 12:28:12 pm
looks like most of us on here are fuckwits  ;D
Only just noticed?   ;D :D ;) :P :)

didn't like to mention it  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Riggers on 27 January, 2016, 12:30:27 pm
Popped in to Komedia Brighton on Friday to renew our joint membership to Picture House cinema. Renewed. I used two out of the six free tickets that evening to see The Revenant. Bought a pint of Dark Star and white wine to take in with us, and received a discount as well, using the card. Fine.

After Saturday, I couldn't … er, remember where I'd put the card. Lost.

Komedia have since given me a replacement.

Note to self: just hand everything over to my wife for safety. She's got the new membership card thank goodness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 27 January, 2016, 01:00:44 pm
I never put anything away. I work on the theory that if I trip over it at least 5 times a day I won't lose it. If I put it safely away somewhere it'll take me forever to find where 'somewhere' is.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Pancho on 27 January, 2016, 01:39:25 pm
After years of walking 4 miles e/w to uni and back, I bought a car which I drove into college the next day. Had the usual full day of lectures and labs. And, also as usual, walked home!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 January, 2016, 01:54:27 pm
Monday I drove off to an appointment in the afternoon, and ten minutes down the road realized I didn't have my phone.  Surge of adrenalin, instant feelings of isolation and imminent doom set in.  Ten minutes later I checked that my papers were in my pocket and found the phone.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 27 January, 2016, 02:12:44 pm
Your colleague has just had another lesson in Englishness.  :smug:

It's not, but your statement is definitely a lesson in Englishness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 January, 2016, 02:52:55 pm
Further old foolery: I just went into our bank account to do the usual month-end transfer from company to our main private account and found that a subsidiary private account was 1000€ richer than it should have been.  It would seem that at the beginning of January I transferred a top-up from the company and hit the wrong account.

Now wondering whether to tell Mrs. T or spend an extra thou.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 27 January, 2016, 02:57:59 pm
Further old foolery: I just went into our bank account to do the usual month-end transfer from company to our main private account and found that a subsidiary private account was 1000€ richer than it should have been.  It would seem that at the beginning of January I transferred a top-up from the company and hit the wrong account.

Now wondering whether to tell Mrs. T or spend an extra thou.

New bike time?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 January, 2016, 03:22:04 pm
That way lies DETH, as Mr. L might put it.  Got a new one last year.

I shall drink tea and contemplate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 27 January, 2016, 03:41:39 pm
That way lies DETH, as Mr. L might put it.  Got a new one last year.

I shall drink tea and contemplate.

You'll drink a lot of tea with £1000.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 27 January, 2016, 04:41:25 pm
That way lies DETH, as Mr. L might put it.  Got a new one last year.

I shall drink tea and contemplate.

You'll drink a lot of tea with £1000.

Or maybe not. (http://www.top10zen.com/top-5-most-expensive-teas-in-the-world-574)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 January, 2016, 04:50:20 pm
Not force-fed to civets, then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 27 January, 2016, 05:46:41 pm
Extra insulation/draught proofing/roofing/double glazing?

You did say your house was cold and expensive to heat . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 27 January, 2016, 08:16:29 pm
Your colleague has just had another lesson in Englishness.  :smug:

It's not, but your statement is definitely a lesson in Englishness.
:) :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 29 January, 2016, 06:42:30 pm
Pub.  Because its Friday.
I'm standing at the bar tapping my ten pound note on the card machine.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: caerau on 29 January, 2016, 06:49:16 pm
Pub.  Because its Friday.
I'm standing at the bar tapping my ten pound note on the card machine.  :facepalm:


After how many?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 January, 2016, 06:59:53 pm
on a long haul flight from Jakarta to LHR in biz class, on arrival I started packing bits and pieces from the various cubby holes into my laptop bag. went to dig out passport for border control. 

Nowhere to be seen. Research, research, research, still no sign, slight panic now setting in.

Up the aisle walks the very lovely attendant (Singapore  ;) ) with my blazer.

Passport safely stored in the one pocket I never use for anything, probably just so it didn't get lost in my befuddled mind
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 29 January, 2016, 07:01:09 pm
Pub.  Because its Friday.
I'm standing at the bar tapping my ten pound note on the card machine.  :facepalm:


After how many?

I was only buying my second.  Honest.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 29 January, 2016, 07:02:50 pm
Pub.  Because its Friday.
I'm standing at the bar tapping my ten pound note on the card machine.  :facepalm:


After how many?

I was only buying my second.  Honest.

And a tenner wasn't enough?!?  :o

Are you drinking in a London nightclub this evening?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 29 January, 2016, 07:48:23 pm
Triple brandy ? :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 29 January, 2016, 08:35:32 pm
Unlocked my bike and rode home. 

Reached home, no keys.

Rode back to where I'd unlocked my bike and,phew!, keys still lying on the ground nearly an hour after I'd dropped them there.

It wasn't raining but cycling against hurricane Gertrude was no fun.   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 30 January, 2016, 07:05:46 am
^^ Done that, in my case they were still in the bike lock  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 30 January, 2016, 12:32:44 pm
Arrived at cinema.
Showed my booked on the phone to the man. Linky no worky.
Booked for the previous evening. :facepalm:

Not alone though. Went to desk "The Big Short please"
Went to screen. Found seat. Recognised film. This isn't the Big Short, this is Room. I saw this on Tuesday.  :facepalm:

Returned to desk. The manager called to refund my (free) ticket. Arrived in screen as the certification plate showed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 30 January, 2016, 01:38:52 pm
Attended a mid-week football match at Chelsea.  As I didn't want to leave my bike locked up near the stadium or have to deal with my pannier I left both at the office (near Bank) and grabbed a hire bike.  The trip out was fine, as was the trip back.  While gathering my things and preparing to leave the office I went to place my keys in a more convenient pocket.  Keys?  What keys?  The house keys to which is attached the hire bike key, the key I used to grab the hire bike from the docking station on Limerston Street just off Fulham Road.  Yep, I left my keys in the backing station. ::-)  Got on my own bike, retraced my steps, and thankfully my keys were still there.  That is not my preferred way to add an extra 17km to my commute.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 31 January, 2016, 12:12:50 am
OMG.  In fact, OMFG.
I've just spun away from my group to get to the bar for a last pint, just as someone spun away from the group next to us.  We slightly collided as I passed them.
" Sorry mate", I exclaim, half turning behind me and doing that blokey tap on the upper arm you do.
Then
It wasn't a bloke.  And I'd missed.  I'd tapped her square on the tit.

I think it was the utter look of horror on my face and the 43 apologies in 3 seconds that convinced her that she should just laugh at me.

 :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 31 January, 2016, 12:41:39 pm
Laughs at Basil!  Ooops.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Pancho on 31 January, 2016, 04:32:53 pm
Oh man, I think I've just won the thread.

A few months ago, ahead of the game and getting a gold star, I did my tax return and paid the bill early. Except there was some payment glitch so I clicked again. Of course, I later found out I'd paid twice - and made a note to write them a letter or something. And forgot about it.

This weekend, I got in a terrible panic about tax - I knew I'd done the return and that I'd made a note of what I owed. So I'd better get on and pay it, hadn't I?

Not much later it all came back me. Yup. I'm the only person in the country who's paid 3 x his tax. Wonder how I'm going to sort this out.

Being stupid ought to be tax deductible or something.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: madcow on 31 January, 2016, 04:51:37 pm
Everytime that I go out on my bike ,I put my debit card,credit card,Driving licence ,E111 and mobile into a waterproof pouch.
 This goes in my jersey pocket. It's just a habit now.
Went out this morning for a short ride , got back and had lunch and got changed into jeans etc for washing the car and  tidying up.
As I have an early start tomorrow ,I decided to nip down to the local supermarket and fill up with diesel. Asked Mrs. M to throw my wallet downstairs  which she did ,then I set off to the supermarket where I  filled up the tank.
Got inside to pay, opened wallet and found myself looking at an empty space where my credit and debit cards should be. :facepalm:

Thankfully bloke on counter was kind and let me use the store phone to call Mrs. M , who came down in the other car to bail me out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 31 January, 2016, 04:52:25 pm
Got home the other day, went for my keys in my coat pocket. Pocket open. No keys. Cue panic that I'd dropped on the walk down the hill and the usual helpful reminder from my brain that I ought to hide a set of keys somewhere in the garden, because the nearest spare key is in Maida Vale. Got to the end of the driveway before I realised that I was the holding the keys in my hand.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 31 January, 2016, 05:07:02 pm
Got home the other day, went for my keys in my coat pocket. Pocket open. No keys. Cue panic that I'd dropped on the walk down the hill and the usual helpful reminder from my brain that I ought to hide a set of keys somewhere in the garden, because the nearest spare key is in Maida Vale. Got to the end of the driveway before I realised that I was the holding the keys in my hand.
Ohhhh..... No driving or operating of heavy machinery for you. I think. :P

On which subject...
I have twice, to date, managed to unlock the (combination padlocked) shed door in the pitch black in order to retrieve the spare keys secreted within.
A manoeuvre conducted entirely in braille.
Spare keys now reside with a close neighbour.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 31 January, 2016, 05:39:54 pm
To be honest, I do a lot of things with no conscious knowledge of doing them, the problem comes when external reality interrupts those processes. My unconscious and conscious aren't on speaking terms, so if my autopilot has the keys in hand and then something interrupts, conscious me steps in without knowing. I think on this occasion I'd stopped to say hello to a cat in the alley by the side of my house (I use the back door, there's too much key jiggling to get through front door and porch).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 31 January, 2016, 06:55:37 pm
I once went to Northampton for a meeting which was not only in Swindon, it was on a different day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 31 January, 2016, 08:41:40 pm
I just turned up at a cycling bunk barn weekend without any cycling shoes. :facepalm:

PS: Can we make the title of this thread a bit more SFW please?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 31 January, 2016, 09:13:17 pm
PS: Can we make the title of this thread a bit more SFW please?

+1
Great thread, but a bit awkward even in steath mode at work.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Pancho on 31 January, 2016, 09:21:19 pm
Do you lot all work in monasteries or something?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a <div>" Thread
Post by: Kim on 31 January, 2016, 09:26:59 pm
I thought there was a rule (possibly an unwritten one, or simply best practice) that subject lines be SFW everywhere outside the NSFW board?

Nobody wants to trip the Scunthorpe alarm simply by loading the unread posts page.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 31 January, 2016, 09:30:48 pm
I thought there was a rule (possibly an unwritten one, or simply best practice) that subject lines be SFW everywhere outside the NSFW board?

Nobody wants to trip the Scunthorpe alarm simply by loading the unread posts page.

That would be this one: -
Quote
4. Please don't do anything that will get the admins into trouble.  Specifically, this means

- No inline images or avatars containing porn, goatse, anything you might see on rotten.com or anything likely to upset or seriously offend.  If in doubt, leave it as a URL with an appropriate warning or don't post it.  We are a family forum.
- Keep thread titles clean, even in NSFW.
- No selling of anything illegal, nicked or copyright-infringing.  We don't strongly object to eBay links, but they get rather tedious and defeat the advantage of trading among your friends.
http://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=232.0
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 31 January, 2016, 09:32:33 pm
The name would raise no eyebrows where I work, nearly everyone will have committed one of these forms of fuckwittery
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 31 January, 2016, 09:37:16 pm
I thought there was a rule (possibly an unwritten one, or simply best practice) that subject lines be SFW everywhere outside the NSFW board?

Nobody wants to trip the Scunthorpe alarm simply by loading the unread posts page.

That would be this one: -
Quote
4. Please don't do anything that will get the admins into trouble.  Specifically, this means

- No inline images or avatars containing porn, goatse, anything you might see on rotten.com or anything likely to upset or seriously offend.  If in doubt, leave it as a URL with an appropriate warning or don't post it.  We are a family forum.
- Keep thread titles clean, even in NSFW.
- No selling of anything illegal, nicked or copyright-infringing.  We don't strongly object to eBay links, but they get rather tedious and defeat the advantage of trading among your friends.
http://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=232.0

Given that the "Super Twat" thread has been left in publicly searchable boards, rather than being deposited in NSFW or P&OBI (which is where it really belongs, seeing as it's mainly a Two Minutes Hate most of the time), it can be safely assumed that Suggestion 4 isn't even a guideline, never mind a rule.  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 31 January, 2016, 09:58:19 pm
Thanks all for being so unhelpful.  It would raise eyebrows where I work.  But that's not a problem for you, so that's OK then, isn't it?

Spesh, are you the new arbitrator then?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: David Martin on 31 January, 2016, 10:27:30 pm
I'll add a 'please change the title' request. We have plenty of discussion elsewhere on behaviour that is unwittingly exclusionary to certain sections of society.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 31 January, 2016, 10:42:03 pm
PS: Can we make the title of this thread a bit more SFW please?

+1
Great thread, but a bit awkward even in steath mode at work.

This seems a bit understated to me, if this would raise eyebrows. Perhaps you're being a bit too British?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 31 January, 2016, 10:42:50 pm
The title has changed...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 31 January, 2016, 10:46:46 pm
I once went to Northampton for a meeting which was not only in Swindon, it was on a different day.

Being away from Swindon is very sensible, thobut?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 31 January, 2016, 10:49:16 pm
The title has changed...

To be honest, I was half-expecting someone to pass comment on the use of "div", never mind the f-word. If you check out the thread that arose from Ricky Gervais copping flak for using the word "mong", the discussion encompasses whether words like "idiot" or "fool" are ablist...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 31 January, 2016, 11:00:14 pm
Fecking is still probably a bit dodgy but not sure what's better, effing maybe.

Div I always assume came from divot and doesn't have specifically disablist meanings as far as I can find. Numpty is also a good word, again, Scottish. They have all the BEST words.

Mong is disablist cos it comes from Mongolism meaning Down's syndrome.  Idiot and fool are less obviously disablist as in most people don't know their history of classification of "learning difficulties" but are probably as bad as mong really...  I think one uses idiot/fool about people who don't have down's syndrome whereas mong means "you're thick/stupid/slow LIKE someone with Down's syndrome" with the intended negative meaning around that... I am however trying to train myself out of using idiot and fool... 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 01 February, 2016, 12:04:41 am
Perhaps you're being a bit too British?

For heaven's sake!  Do try and understand.  It's not about me.
It's not my attitude.  It's my employer's attitude.  Over which I have no control.
Read any of my posts to see my enjoyment of fruity language. 

Sadly, barakta's examples of disableist words would always pass the Scunthorpe test of my employer's net nanny, whereas a perfectly healthy fuck wouldn't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 01 February, 2016, 12:47:24 am

For heaven's sake!  Do try and understand.  It's not about me.
It's not my attitude.  It's my employer's attitude.  Over which I have no control.
Read any of my posts to see my enjoyment of fruity language. 

Sadly, barakta's examples of disableist words would always pass the Scunthorpe test of my employer's net nanny, whereas a perfectly healthy fuck wouldn't.

What are they going to do? Sack you?  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 01 February, 2016, 07:03:43 am
Perhaps you're being a bit too British?

For heaven's sake!  Do try and understand.  It's not about me.
It's not my attitude.  It's my employer's attitude.  Over which I have no control.
Read any of my posts to see my enjoyment of fruity language. 

Sadly, barakta's examples of disableist words would always pass the Scunthorpe test of my employer's net nanny, whereas a perfectly healthy fuck wouldn't.

I understand, I meant you were being too British in your understatement of your opposition, not in your acceptance of naughty words :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 01 February, 2016, 07:30:37 am
When I went to the kitchen cupboard for a sauce pan I remembered I had only completed part of my plan to take to good, copper bottomed pans to the UK and bring back the cheap ikea pans. :facepalm:
Currently using a pan borrowed from a friend! 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Wombat on 01 February, 2016, 08:20:31 am

For heaven's sake!  Do try and understand.  It's not about me.
It's not my attitude.  It's my employer's attitude.  Over which I have no control.
Read any of my posts to see my enjoyment of fruity language. 

Sadly, barakta's examples of disableist words would always pass the Scunthorpe test of my employer's net nanny, whereas a perfectly healthy fuck wouldn't.

What are they going to do? Sack you?  ;D

No, but repeated triggerings of the "bad word alarm" will be recorded on his employment record, just like it is for me, and thousands of other local government and other "establishment" employers.  I am currently YACF'ing outside work time (I'll clock on in a few mins) but my internet use is still being monitored.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 February, 2016, 09:42:36 am
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

Anyway, my latest.  No, Mr Larrington, that rather-poor-quality-but-still-officially-sanctioned release of "The Fantastic Trimmer & Jenkins Live From London's Fabulous Comic Strip" was not recorded using antique monaural SCIENCE, no.  It just looked that way after you knocked a cassette off the desk and dislodged the right channel's piece of anbaric string, and now you have to digificate the bloody thing again >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 February, 2016, 10:41:05 am
Attended a mid-week football match at Chelsea.
I just wait for the highlights on the Non-League Show.  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 01 February, 2016, 11:12:11 am
Pancho; paying tax so google don't have to.


In my world; 'div' means a crappy bit of markup that never works as expected.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 February, 2016, 12:17:42 pm
In my world; 'div' means a crappy bit of markup that never works as expected.

 :D   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 01 February, 2016, 12:57:11 pm
I know we're all grown-ups here but it doesn't hurt anyone to exercise a bit of self-moderation when composing thread titles. Be sensible, folks.

Fecking is still probably a bit dodgy but not sure what's better, effing maybe.

Or just no modifier at all? "I'm such a div" works fine. "I've been a bit of a wally" would also do the job nicely.

Fwiw, Collins speculates that 'div' probably derives from 'deviant'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 01 February, 2016, 02:10:06 pm
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

A Benny
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 01 February, 2016, 02:20:02 pm
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

A Benny

A Still (apocryphal)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 February, 2016, 02:31:25 pm
I know we're all grown-ups here but it doesn't hurt anyone to exercise a bit of self-moderation when composing thread titles. Be sensible, folks.

Fecking is still probably a bit dodgy but not sure what's better, effing maybe.

Or just no modifier at all? "I'm such a div" works fine. "I've been a bit of a wally" would also do the job nicely.

Fwiw, Collins speculates that 'div' probably derives from 'deviant'.
A modifier! What's a modifier? They called it an adjective in my day!
I think you'll find it's a present participle. Ends in -ing.
You mean a gerund. That's a verbal noun.
We called all those 'describing words' when I was at school.
Surely it doesn't matter what you call it as long as you know how to use it?
That's all very well, but it's impossible to truly understand without the appropriate terminology.

Oh, sorry, wrong thread.  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: geraldc on 01 February, 2016, 05:22:22 pm
Feck is not a swear word.

http://metro.co.uk/2008/12/09/official-its-okay-to-say-feck-224531/
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 February, 2016, 06:16:04 pm
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

A Benny

Tied to a tree?

One version has it than "benny" derives from "bender" so is probably offensive to gayers.  If it's him out of "Crossroads" then it's probably OK.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 01 February, 2016, 06:19:50 pm
Feck is not a swear word.

http://metro.co.uk/2008/12/09/official-its-okay-to-say-feck-224531/

What's acceptable in advertising isn't always acceptable in the office. Totally different contexts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 01 February, 2016, 06:24:51 pm
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

A Benny

Tied to a tree?

One version has it than "benny" derives from "bender" so is probably offensive to gayers.  If it's him out of "Crossroads" then it's probably OK.

IIRC, "Benny" was (and probably still is) used as army slang for a resident of the Falkland Islands, and was derived from the aforementioned soap character.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 01 February, 2016, 06:39:11 pm
Tied to a tree?

I'm not falling for that one!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: red marley on 01 February, 2016, 06:42:09 pm
Div and divvy were common at school in Bristol when I grew up. I had always assumed is was a Bristolian phrase. Helped by the wonderful Moonflowers who used to run 'Divvy Days' of suitably chaotic hippy Moonflowers fun.

Somewhat comically for a Brit, the Chicago equivalent of Boris Bikes are called Divvy Bikes.

Given the examples of divvyness mentioned so far, perhaps a better name for this thread would be 'I'm older now than I once was'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 01 February, 2016, 10:02:38 pm
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

A Benny

Tied to a tree?

One version has it than "benny" derives from "bender" so is probably offensive to gayers.  If it's him out of "Crossroads" then it's probably OK.

IIRC, "Benny" was (and probably still is) used as army slang for a resident of the Falkland Islands, and was derived from the aforementioned soap character.

Hence my reference to "Still" upthread.  It goes something like this:

Hofficer: "Soldier, stop calling the residents of the Falklands Bennies. I understand it is a derogatory term, derived from a character in Crossroads."
Soldier:"But Sir"
Hofficer:"Or I shall put you on a charge"
Soldier:"Yes Sah!"
<time passes>
Hofficer:"Soldier, why are you calling the residents of the Falklands 'Stills'?"
Soldier:"Because they're still Bennies, Sah!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 24 March, 2016, 12:12:51 am
I got my legs waxed before I went to Scotland (one less thing to think about), only the girl didn't do it very well, and left loads of the wax on my legs.

So I went for a wee in the public toilet in the shopping centre, and managed to glue myself to the toilet seat.  The pain on unpeeling myself from the seat was utterly excruciating, to the extent I was making little "ow, ow, ow, oh god, ow,"  noises.  And the backs of my legs had a red toilet seat mark for days.

And tonight, I wore a nice smart tweed skirt, heeled boots, a sweater and hold-up stockings to go to the theatre, along with a fair amount of lippy etc.

Realised when riding my bike to the theatre through the centre of town that my skirt rides up on the bike, exposing my stocking-tops to the mutated denizens of Darlo, and causing a hell of a draught where there isn't supposed to be one.

I'm often amazed they let me vote.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 24 March, 2016, 07:01:29 am
I would have thought you'd have wanted the insulation for Scotland?

I let my beard expand for the winters in Aberdeen and offshore.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 24 March, 2016, 07:10:07 am
Happy to freeze in the cause of beauty ED.  Also spiky legs in a sleeping bag are really annoying.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 March, 2016, 08:16:39 am
And tonight, I wore a nice smart tweed skirt, heeled boots, a sweater and hold-up stockings to go to the theatre, along with a fair amount of lippy etc.
You realise there is only one sensible response to that post?

TTIUWP
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 March, 2016, 08:26:28 am
Ha! Your description of the pain of sticking to the toilet seat reminds me of sitting on the vinyl seats of my grandpa's Austin Allegro wearing shorts in the summer back when I was a very small Cudzo. Sweaty child legs sticking to the plastic when you get up, very painful. I'd expect the addition of wax makes it objectively more painful and of course the toilet factor, but hey, you're meant to be a grown up!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 24 March, 2016, 09:20:01 am
Happy to freeze in the cause of beauty ED.  Also spiky legs in a sleeping bag are really annoying.
My gran used to say "Dress like the French, frezze like a Dane*"

*this was back when the French, in Denmark, was know to wear very little. Though since I have lived in France I know it is totally opposite. The look of horror I got from the French when I walked around in shorts and t-shirts when it was a balmy 18c in May. Boy can the French wrap up warm, jackets and scarf's, way into June and the 20c+. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 24 March, 2016, 09:39:16 am
my honeymoon was in Sicily in March, I was walking around in a pair of chinos and light open necked shirt with those horrified looks from locals in duffel coats and scarves
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 24 March, 2016, 12:50:25 pm
I was born in Singapore and my mum says locals were very disapproving of the light clothes my parents dressed me in, and all the Singaporean babies were wrapped up in woolly jumpers and scarves. They must have been poached alive.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: rr on 24 March, 2016, 01:11:15 pm
Mali in December, 30° at dawn, me in shorts, t shirt and sweat, locals duvet jackets and shivering.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 24 March, 2016, 01:41:36 pm
And tonight, I wore a nice smart tweed skirt, heeled boots, a sweater and hold-up stockings to go to the theatre, along with a fair amount of lippy etc.

Realised when riding my bike to the theatre through the centre of town that my skirt rides up on the bike, exposing my stocking-tops to the mutated denizens of Darlo, and causing a hell of a draught where there isn't supposed to be one.

Knickers may have helped.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 March, 2016, 02:39:49 pm
And tonight, I wore a nice smart tweed skirt, heeled boots, a sweater and hold-up stockings to go to the theatre, along with a fair amount of lippy etc.

Realised when riding my bike to the theatre through the centre of town that my skirt rides up on the bike, exposing my stocking-tops to the mutated denizens of Darlo, and causing a hell of a draught where there isn't supposed to be one.

Knickers may have helped.

You are VERY NORTY MAN!

...anyone know how to get coffee out of a laptop keyboard?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 24 March, 2016, 06:23:38 pm
Ha! Your description of the pain of sticking to the toilet seat reminds me of sitting on the vinyl seats of my grandpa's Austin Allegro wearing shorts in the summer back when I was a very small Cudzo. Sweaty child legs sticking to the plastic when you get up, very painful. I'd expect the addition of wax makes it objectively more painful and of course the toilet factor, but hey, you're meant to be a grown up!

I remember those plastic seats in the summer, the smell used to make me gag.  And oh, did it burn.

Cooled leg wax is a whole other dimension of Sticky, trust me.

eta:  Andrij, I (nearly) always wear knickers, in fact, due to going out Proper last night I was wearing matching underwear, in case of ambulances.  So there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 March, 2016, 10:53:39 pm
In case of ambulances? Is that Northern for coffee?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: madcow on 24 March, 2016, 11:06:53 pm
Always have a clean hankie, a shilling for the bus and wear your best underwear in case you are run over and the medical staff see your shoddy knickers.
The sort of advice that I can hear coming from my grandma who was Darlo born and bred.
One can't have these people thinking that you come from a poor house now, can you?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 24 March, 2016, 11:17:49 pm
A colleague once treated a High Up Man from a Financial Institution and noted he had shoddy undies...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 24 March, 2016, 11:31:47 pm
Well, if he didn't beforehand I'm not surprised he did afterwards
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 26 March, 2016, 07:24:01 pm
I wonder what happened to those knickers that were issued to middle-aged women as standard uniform on your fiftieth birthday.  You never see them any more.  They were made of this kind of aertex stuff, and they were proper knickers that go up to your waist and cover your bum properly.  They came only in white.

Like this. (http://www.classicclothingshop.co.uk/elderly-clothing/Ladies-Plain-White-Eyelet-Full-Briefs-Pantie1064.html#SID=16)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 26 March, 2016, 07:38:21 pm
Good! I have no problem with sturdy knickers, but they are hideous!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 26 March, 2016, 07:39:58 pm
Good! I have no problem with sturdy knickers, but they are hideous!

Back in the day when I was a wee student nurse ALL the female patients wore those.  Supposedly they were extremely comfortable.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 March, 2016, 07:40:16 pm
I don't think I've seen a pair of those since the 80s, unless you count the paper ones they give you in hospitals.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tigerrr on 26 March, 2016, 07:40:30 pm
They are all on sale in Benidorm. Ranks of stalls selling mums/grandmas pants and string vests. I think they must be required if you use a mobility scooter tot get from pub to pub. As one does here.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 March, 2016, 07:41:56 pm
Mystery solved.  Isn't YACF brilliant?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: arabella on 26 March, 2016, 07:58:30 pm
Thinking of which, why is it that ladies undies (in shapes I want to buy ie full brief at my age, keeps the lower back nice'n'cosy) only come in (i) pastel (ii) stupid patterns, usually also floral or (iii) plain black.  What about a nice darkish grey that is forgiving of many washes?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 26 March, 2016, 08:00:00 pm
Thinking of which, why is it that ladies undies (in shapes I want to buy ie full brief at my age, keeps the lower back nice'n'cosy) only come in (i) pastel (ii) stupid patterns, usually also floral or (iii) plain black.  What about a nice darkish grey that is forgiving of many washes?

Amateur.  A single washload of pastel pants with a black sock gives a one-stop answer to your problem. 

You're welcome.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 26 March, 2016, 08:28:44 pm
No2 Daughter sent me this the other day Ruthie- you should take it on board.

https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/7107311888486259/
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 26 March, 2016, 08:30:29 pm
Oh, shit.  Well, I suppose the upside is that nobody's going to murder me at work.  And I don't go out very often.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 March, 2016, 09:01:12 pm
Thinking of which, why is it that ladies undies (in shapes I want to buy ie full brief at my age, keeps the lower back nice'n'cosy) only come in (i) pastel (ii) stupid patterns, usually also floral or (iii) plain black.  What about a nice darkish grey that is forgiving of many washes?

Surely that's how plain black end up after a while?

Black socks, of course, do that 50 shades of grey thing.


The real question is why sensible non-frilly black bras are so often only available in pairs with a white-until-you-wash-it one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 March, 2016, 10:01:32 am
No2 Daughter sent me this the other day Ruthie- you should take it on board.

https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/7107311888486259/

Seems to require a login, the lack of which may turn out to be a Good Thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 April, 2016, 02:29:52 pm
I wonder what happened to those knickers that were issued to middle-aged women as standard uniform on your fiftieth birthday.  You never see them any more.  They were made of this kind of aertex stuff, and they were proper knickers that go up to your waist and cover your bum properly.  They came only in white.

Like this. (http://www.classicclothingshop.co.uk/elderly-clothing/Ladies-Plain-White-Eyelet-Full-Briefs-Pantie1064.html#SID=16)
A friend is currently in Lesbos, sorting clothes for refugees. She was rummaging through vast piles of donated stuff, new and second hand, trying to find knickers.

After fruitless hours, the only knickers she found were bloomers. Real bloomers.

(for those who are curious, the knicker shortage seems to sorted for now. Seems when people nick one pair out of a box in a supermarket, the supermarket throws the box away. A contact has arranged for the boxes to be donated instead and it is a LOT)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 April, 2016, 08:48:49 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-36150328

Brilliant.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 28 April, 2016, 09:14:59 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-36150328

Brilliant.

At my former work, we had a facility in Odessa, TX, USA.
I had to go there fairly often.

Then we out-sourced our corporate travel to Amex Corporate Travel.
Next time I had to go, they had arranged flights to Odessa, Ukraine.

It did get spotted in time!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 April, 2016, 09:32:56 pm
Particularly cunning of Birmingham AL to use Mordor Central's station code as its airport code, I thought...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 April, 2016, 10:07:33 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-36150328

Brilliant.

At my former work, we had a facility in Odessa, TX, USA.
I had to go there fairly often.

Then we out-sourced our corporate travel to Amex Corporate Travel.
Next time I had to go, they had arranged flights to Odessa, Ukraine.

It did get spotted in time!

I've been to Odessa texas. Ukraine may have been better.

There was also the story of those who went to Albertville in the USA instead of France for the winter games. It never snows there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 April, 2016, 10:32:27 pm
Or you could fly to Paris, Texas when you really wanted to go to Paris, Denmark. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris,_Denmark)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 28 April, 2016, 10:36:25 pm
We went to Athens, Ohio.  But that's OK.  We meant to.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 29 April, 2016, 07:08:07 am
I used to live in Athens, Georgia. And I've been to Memphis Tennessee (I'm sitting in Nashville right now).

I'm convinced there's no good reason to go to Texas ever.

Ok, Austin and San Antonio aren't so bad. Dallas and Houston? Hell can only disappoint. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 April, 2016, 10:26:19 am
I used to live in Athens, Georgia. And I've been to Memphis Tennessee (I'm sitting in Nashville right now).

I'm convinced there's no good reason to go to Texas ever.

Ok, Austin and San Antonio aren't so bad. Dallas and Houston? Hell can only disappoint.

Have you tried Port Arthur yet?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 April, 2016, 10:50:12 am
TX's Big Bend National Park is jolly nice as long as you avoid:
I quite liked Amarillo too, until my right foot decided to stop working while staying there.  The Road to Amarillo sucked though, coz I got stopped for speeding :(

I shall be returning to TX on this year's expedition to the west pole[/i] USAnia.  Route 66 beckons.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 29 April, 2016, 10:51:51 am
I used to live in Athens, Georgia.

Ah, the Edinburgh of the Deep South!

Out of interest, which of the B-52s were you?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 April, 2016, 10:58:06 am
I used to live in Athens, Georgia.

Ah, the Edinburgh of the Deep South!

Out of interest, which of the B-52s were you?

Thought Leadership requires Tidy Hair, remember, so more likely to have been in REM :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 29 April, 2016, 10:59:30 am
I am so sorry!  That was an egregious error.

I'm such a fecking div  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 April, 2016, 11:01:18 am
;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 April, 2016, 11:02:35 am
I met a chap called Sean at a gig the other day, who:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 29 April, 2016, 04:50:12 pm
I do occasionally get mistaken for Michael Stipe.

Despite laying out several peanut butter bacon traps this year's Elvis hunt was a wash out.  The south ain't what she used to be.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 May, 2016, 12:04:36 pm
I knew I'd done about 800km in April already and yesterday's ride was around 150km. So I thought to myself I could just pop out for a quick 50km on Sunday to make it 1000km for the month.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 03 May, 2016, 03:46:35 pm
And some rotten swine had nicked the last day of the month?


30 days hath September, APRIL June and November... ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 May, 2016, 04:02:25 pm
Not quite, no. It was one of the previous days they'd nicked. On Saturday I was convinced it was the 29th not the 30th.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 May, 2016, 10:00:52 am
Forgot to check that MrsC had paid the car VED when she got the mot done. No reminder letter arrived.

Perils of electronic only

She got pulled over for no VED. fine of £260.  Vehicle address is still our old address which is odd seeing as we got reminder letter and paid last year from new address. Not sure how that has worked out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 06 May, 2016, 12:18:58 am
Met a friend in South London for a bit of theatre this evening.  Locked up my bike outside Clapham North Station and ... left my Garmin on the handlebars.  :facepalm:  Thankfully still there upon my return.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 06 May, 2016, 01:13:06 am
Not something you would bet on in Manchester...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 15 May, 2016, 11:08:41 pm
Rode the 9Km to my parents for Sunday dinner.  A large meal with copious vino.   

Had a snooze then rode home.    Carried the bike up 8 flights of stairs then realised I'd left my rackpack with phone, wallet & keys at theirs.....How they laughed & jeered when I turned up again.  :facepalm:

Last week I walked home from work without my jacket (it was warm).  Luckily all the important stuff was in my manbag. 

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 May, 2016, 09:23:34 pm
Wondering where my commuting mitts are.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 16 May, 2016, 10:58:29 pm
Mr Smith asked if I'd had any shimmys or wobbles descending at the weekend.
Because the headset was really loose.

When I fitted this  (http://www.sjscycles.co.uk/additive-spacer-one-light-holder-prod37276/)I hadn't tightened it up properly.
Fecking div.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: menthel on 17 May, 2016, 11:11:17 am
Met a friend in South London for a bit of theatre this evening.  Locked up my bike outside Clapham North Station and ... left my Garmin on the handlebars.  :facepalm:  Thankfully still there upon my return.

I have had less luck than that nipping inside with my bike on the street outside my house on a quiet suburban street!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Oaky on 17 May, 2016, 07:20:52 pm
I am on a train. There are no seats, standing in the vestibule so I decide that since I am standing anyway I may as well so some exercise,  so adopted a 90 degree leg angle against the wall to "feel the burn in my quads..."

Cue the entire carriage witnessing me land on my arse as my feet slipped out forwards... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 17 May, 2016, 07:37:23 pm
^am on tenterhooks....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 17 May, 2016, 07:37:55 pm
Wondering where my commuting mitts are.

Looked properly,  found them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 May, 2016, 09:56:30 pm
I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge.  Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one.  Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 17 May, 2016, 10:08:24 pm
I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge.  Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one.  Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.

Getting towards the end of a 4 week tour I'd neglected to check the S&S couplings on the Thorn.....  having your downtube separate mid ride is interesting....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 18 May, 2016, 01:25:09 pm
I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge.  Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one.  Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.

That happened to someone on a FNRttC last year.  They thought something was seriously wrong with the front wheel, and stopped to look at it and started up again a couple of times before I spotted the loose hinge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 18 May, 2016, 02:29:31 pm
I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge.  Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one.  Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.

Getting towards the end of a 4 week tour I'd neglected to check the S&S couplings on the Thorn.....  having your downtube separate mid ride is interesting....

McNasty in Germany comes to mind...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TimC on 18 May, 2016, 04:29:40 pm
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

A Benny

Tied to a tree?

One version has it than "benny" derives from "bender" so is probably offensive to gayers.  If it's him out of "Crossroads" then it's probably OK.

IIRC, "Benny" was (and probably still is) used as army slang for a resident of the Falkland Islands, and was derived from the aforementioned soap character.

Hence my reference to "Still" upthread.  It goes something like this:

Hofficer: "Soldier, stop calling the residents of the Falklands Bennies. I understand it is a derogatory term, derived from a character in Crossroads."
Soldier:"But Sir"
Hofficer:"Or I shall put you on a charge"
Soldier:"Yes Sah!"
<time passes>
Hofficer:"Soldier, why are you calling the residents of the Falklands 'Stills'?"
Soldier:"Because they're still Bennies, Sah!"

Said story is true, and was compounded by it actually being put in print by the authorities that the locals were not to be referred to as 'Bennys'. Hence 'Stills' became the unofficial term. Someone in power managed to resist banning 'Stills', though the troops were ready for that eventuality with the pre-prepared term 'Andys', i.e. 'and he's still a fecking Benny'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 18 May, 2016, 10:57:23 pm
I've been left with the task of fettling Mrs. Fs lapdog whilst she is away.

Fettling done, I decided to take an image of it, onto an external USB drive which was otherwise spare.
So I plugged it in and decided to format it before using it.

Half way through the format, I noticed I was formatting the SD card ( for there is such a slot on the lapdog ), and not the external HDD.
The SD card with our holliberry photos.
AAARG!

Fortunately, I had copied all those photos onto my PC a few weeks ago, so I was able to hastily restore the SD card and say nowt.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 30 May, 2016, 12:48:25 pm
I bought slim-line tonic water instead of 'full-fat'.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 May, 2016, 01:06:06 pm
I bought slim-line tonic water instead of 'full-fat'.  :facepalm:

Same hear, except it was milk.  Familiarity problem, reached for the normal shelf, checked the date, product in the wrong place.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 30 May, 2016, 01:21:44 pm
At least they've mostly standardised the lid colours now, though I appreciate this does not help the colour-blind.
Skimmed is RED
Semi-skimmed is GREEN
Full fat is BLUE.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 30 May, 2016, 01:24:20 pm
I bought slim-line tonic water instead of 'full-fat'.  :facepalm:

Same hear, except it was milk.  Familiarity problem, reached for the normal shelf, checked the date, product in the wrong place.

Horrible.  I can't imagine gin going well with any type of milk!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 May, 2016, 01:27:47 pm
Primary colours are about as colour-blind friendly as they get, thobut.

Anyway, if you can't discriminate the colour, you'll be used to reading the label (and probably think of people picking milk without checking as silly).

Unless it's something where you aren't aware of there being a choice, like when you accidentally buy a low-fat version of something.  I once came home with a bottle of lime juice (pancakes, for the sprinkling of) because it was in a continuous shelf next to the lemon juice.  I couldn't see the colour difference, and didn't think to read the label because what else was it going to be?   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 30 May, 2016, 01:31:10 pm
Thanks for reminding me Kim that buying milk in France can be amusing.   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 30 May, 2016, 01:37:27 pm
Unless it's something where you aren't aware of there being a choice, like when you accidentally buy a low-fat version of something.  I once came home with a bottle of lime juice (pancakes, for the sprinkling of) because it was in a continuous shelf next to the lemon juice.  I couldn't see the colour difference, and didn't think to read the label because what else was it going to be?   :facepalm:

Buy limes rather than bottled juice.  Tastes better and no risk of buying low-fat.1


1. Codeword for 'no taste'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 30 May, 2016, 02:11:58 pm
My lemon juice and lime juice (Sainsbury's) are unsweetened and naturally low-calorie.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 30 May, 2016, 02:29:59 pm
Thanks for reminding me Kim that buying milk in France can be amusing.

Typical minefield for those of us who 'point & grunt'. I have at last got it 95% consistent and have learnt the hard way the difference between 'lait frais' and 'fraiche'. (I wouldn't advise adding the latter to your coffee!) Also the distinction between 'demi-ecreme' and 'entier'.

The easy bit is avoiding UHT cos that's never in a fridge . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 May, 2016, 04:17:41 pm
Unless it's something where you aren't aware of there being a choice, like when you accidentally buy a low-fat version of something.  I once came home with a bottle of lime juice (pancakes, for the sprinkling of) because it was in a continuous shelf next to the lemon juice.  I couldn't see the colour difference, and didn't think to read the label because what else was it going to be?   :facepalm:

Buy limes rather than bottled juice.  Tastes better and no risk of buying low-fat.1


1. Codeword for 'no taste'.

PLJ, do both lemon and lime in bottles, good for cocktails as well
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 May, 2016, 04:20:28 pm
At least they've mostly standardised the lid colours now, though I appreciate this does not help the colour-blind.
Skimmed is RED
Semi-skimmed is GREEN
Full fat is BLUE.

Not colour blind, but attention deficient in this case and not looking at the lid. Son in pushchair, basket in one hand, didn't take time to check the lid
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 30 May, 2016, 10:05:59 pm
Thanks for reminding me Kim that buying milk in France can be amusing.

Typical minefield for those of us who 'point & grunt'. I have at last got it 95% consistent and have learnt the hard way the difference between 'lait frais' and 'fraiche'. (I wouldn't advise adding the latter to your coffee!) Also the distinction between 'demi-ecreme' and 'entier'.

The easy bit is avoiding UHT cos that's never in a fridge . . .

Mmmm, lait cru.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pedaldog. on 31 May, 2016, 01:01:01 am
I took the lid off the coffee tin to make a (Instant) coffee. Realised the tin was nearly empty so, after spooning a bit into the cup, I got the fresh jar of coffee out of the cupboard. I boiled the kettle and promptly poured hot water straight into the coffee tin, missing the cup totally and wasting 200g of Maxwell house coffee granules.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 May, 2016, 09:14:36 am
I've done similar with a full tea caddy  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: red marley on 31 May, 2016, 09:15:14 am
...wasting 200g of Maxwell house coffee granules.

Oh, at least there was some good news then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pedaldog. on 31 May, 2016, 11:36:55 pm
It was a pretty strong brew but I put a lot of milk in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 05 June, 2016, 12:09:42 pm
I spent a lovely half hour in Redcar Minor Injuries Unit (they were all lovely) ascertaining that yes, I've probably cracked a rib, and getting some drugs.

A moment's inattention, touched wheels with the rider in front, all over the road. Luckily my (not insubstantial) right boob bore the brunt of the impact.

Ouch.

Pictures: clicky (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19419.msg2037895#msg2037895)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 June, 2016, 12:14:27 pm
Oh dear, could have been a lot worse though. Yes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 June, 2016, 01:47:08 pm
I spent a lovely half hour in Redcar Minor Injuries Unit (they were all lovely) ascertaining that yes, I've probably cracked a rib, and getting some drugs.

A moment's inattention, touched wheels with the rider in front, all over the road. Luckily my (not insubstantial) right boob bore the brunt of the impact.

Ouch.

Pictures: clicky (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19419.msg2037895#msg2037895)
A half hour! You got seen in a half hour!
Flipping heck, next time I hurt myself I'll get someone to drive me to Redcar, it will be quicker than waiting to be seen at York.
I've heard cracked ribs are a bit relentlessly painful. There be colourful bruises?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 06 June, 2016, 05:29:33 pm
Sorry, I should have been clearer. I was seen in about 5 minutes and out within half an hour.

A disappointing absence of bruising, too. Not that I'd be sharing pictures of my right boob with many people  mind.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 June, 2016, 06:09:44 pm
In that case never mind York, driving from Bristol would be quicker than waiting at the BRI!

Heal well, fboab. Although IME ribs don't.  :(
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Andrij on 06 June, 2016, 06:19:58 pm
... Not that I'd be sharing pictures of my right boob with many people  mind.


[ barely manages to resist the temptation to post the obvious follow-up question ]
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 June, 2016, 07:56:33 am
Sorry, I should have been clearer. I was seen in about 5 minutes and out within half an hour.

That is incredible.
When I went into York at 7am with a very obviously, very z-shaped broken arm, it was 2.5 hours before I was seen.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Chris S on 07 June, 2016, 10:06:59 am
It's an excellent facility.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-24442608

A guy in the waiting room (actually, the ONLY other person in the waiting room when we got there - WTF?!) reckoned they were going to close it down, despite it being only six years old; but having looked into it, I think he was a little confused. Building the Redcar Minor Injuries unit allowed them to close the units at Brotton and Guisborough.

It was unlike any hospital visit I've ever had. Not only was it brief, and excellent - the car park was free!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 01 August, 2016, 02:07:16 pm
I've only just realised that Strava shows you your speed in minutes per km.

I thought it was kph and could not work out why I was getting slower and slower when out jogging. I felt I was going faster and I was trying hard. It just didn't make sense.

I'm such a fecking div
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 01 August, 2016, 03:38:33 pm
I have never had Strava but was taught to think of speed/velocity as distance/time. Time/distance would turn me upside-down so I don't think you're a div.

There again my Audax mind sometimes worked on 2-4 minutes per kilometre...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 01 August, 2016, 04:14:02 pm
Runners usually count minutes per distance - but I'm used to minutes per mile. Strava was showing it per km as 6.21/km but my poor reading eyesight meant I missed the /

However I am really a div because I should have worked out that taking less time to do the same route meant I was going faster . . .

A reasonable pace for a slow runner like me is 8min per mile - which happens to be 5min per km. I'm nearly managing that, down to 5:25, which is a lot better than 6:31. I'm trying to bank some fitness before op in Sept.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 03 August, 2016, 09:37:21 am
Put a pizza in the oven last night for tea. Got it out and realised I had forgotten to take the polystyrene disc of the bottom first.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 03 August, 2016, 10:36:29 am
Put a pizza in the oven last night for tea. Got it out and realised I had forgotten to take the polystyrene disc of the bottom first.

They don't taste the same like that, do they. :sick:


DAHIKT :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 August, 2016, 10:49:30 am
Put a pizza in the oven last night for tea. Got it out and realised I had forgotten to take the polystyrene disc of the bottom first.

my sister once did that with a chicken, forgot to take the elastic off the legs  :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 03 August, 2016, 05:55:26 pm
Pizza was surprisingly OK.  The disk hadn't stuck to the pizza at all but had formed a 1 micron thick layer over the silicon pizza rack I was cooking it on. New rack needed I thought but a quick flex of the rack and it all peeled off in one go like sunburnt skin.
I'm going to die painfully in the near future for eating that pizza aren't I ....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 August, 2016, 05:58:48 pm
Put a pizza in the oven last night for tea. Got it out and realised I had forgotten to take the polystyrene disc of the bottom first.

my sister once did that with a chicken, forgot to take the elastic off the legs  :sick:

I never take the elastic off the legs prior to roasting.

Elastic is removed during carving.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 August, 2016, 07:55:58 pm
Put a pizza in the oven last night for tea. Got it out and realised I had forgotten to take the polystyrene disc of the bottom first.

my sister once did that with a chicken, forgot to take the elastic off the legs  :sick:

I never take the elastic off the legs prior to roasting.

Elastic is removed during carving.

This chicken tasted rubbery, and that's not a reference to the old joke.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 03 August, 2016, 08:12:28 pm
Pizza was surprisingly OK.  The disk hadn't stuck to the pizza at all but had formed a 1 micron thick layer over the silicon pizza rack I was cooking it on. New rack needed I thought but a quick flex of the rack and it all peeled off in one go like sunburnt skin.
I'm going to die painfully in the near future for eating that pizza aren't I ....

Nah.  Crusty did that once, except he ate the pizza with the polystyrene disc intact.  He's still alive as far as I know.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 03 August, 2016, 08:17:14 pm
Pizza was surprisingly OK.  The disk hadn't stuck to the pizza at all but had formed a 1 micron thick layer over the silicon pizza rack I was cooking it on. New rack needed I thought but a quick flex of the rack and it all peeled off in one go like sunburnt skin.
I'm going to die painfully in the near future for eating that pizza aren't I ....

Naaah, I've done that, it didn't do me aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 03 August, 2016, 08:22:07 pm
Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 03 August, 2016, 08:32:26 pm
Muhahahhahahaha, points and laugh even more. That is something to tell random grand children at family get-together for years to come ... sorry :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 03 August, 2016, 08:45:23 pm
Muhahahhahahaha, points and laugh even more. That is something to tell random grand children at family get-together for years to come ... sorry :)

[U-Boat Captain] 'Your name vill alzo go on Ze List... [/U-Boat Captain]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 03 August, 2016, 08:51:42 pm
:)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 August, 2016, 09:48:26 pm
Muhahahhahahaha, points and laugh even more. That is something to tell random grand children at family get-together for years to come ... sorry :)

That's now got me thinking of the "invasion of the body snatchers" bit where the last one gets caught
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 04 August, 2016, 09:07:13 am
Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

Showing solidarity with your cross channel brethren by bolstering their economy?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Dibdib on 04 August, 2016, 10:24:14 am
What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

On one of the early rides with the "club" (in the loosest sense of the term) I help run, one of the guys came out on a lovely old steel road bike. While was fine, until his crank fell off in the middle of nowhere and he didn't have the requisite spanners. Thankfully we found a nearby old-man-in-a-Defender, who was able to help.

Guess where he works... one of the nearby LBSes.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 04 August, 2016, 10:43:20 am
Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

You give us all hope, John!  (I was once 50 miles down the road on the way to a gig when I realise I'd left my guitar at home.....)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 04 August, 2016, 04:40:56 pm
^^^ Made Oi LARF!!!!! ^^^
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 06 August, 2016, 07:55:53 am
Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 06 August, 2016, 08:04:51 am
Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.

POTD! Hug!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TimC on 06 August, 2016, 06:56:28 pm
Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.

Tall, leggy, great eyelashes, very elegant? Can't see the snag, personally! ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 07 August, 2016, 11:19:26 am
Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.

Tall, leggy, great eyelashes, very elegant? Can't see the snag, personally! ;)

Oo! Don't forget the horns . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 07 August, 2016, 11:24:39 am
Guess we're not helping much!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 August, 2016, 08:32:43 am
I'm going out for a few drinks with a friend straight from work, so left my bag at home. Carefully transferred essentials (work entry card, wallet, phone, etc) to jacket. Get to work, go to take computer glasses out of  . . .

You fecking div, it's going to be a long day's work without reading/computer glasses.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 12 August, 2016, 02:16:43 pm
Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

You give us all hope, John!  (I was once 50 miles down the road on the way to a gig when I realise I'd left my guitar at home.....)
Would that some of the 'musicians' I have worked with had done the same... :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 August, 2016, 10:13:28 pm
From a review of a steam cleaner on t'Internet:

Quote
Poor explanation of what this product does - it produces steam but where does the waste water end up? Does it have to emptied? Does it vacuum?

I assume the reviewer thinks steam is some kind of magical essence, rather like phlogiston, that is evaporated from water leaving a kind of debased waste water behind.  I wonder what they do with all the waste water the Flying Scotsman must generate?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 August, 2016, 10:23:39 pm
That's easy: it's Scotch Mist!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 24 August, 2016, 12:38:15 pm
Don't some steam cleaners squirt steam out and then suck up the dirty condensate?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 28 August, 2016, 04:18:16 pm
I sent the V5 document for my car to DVLA in a envelope that already contained an old photo of my son's confirmation.

I became aware of this when it was sent back with a DVLA complement slip!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 29 August, 2016, 06:53:30 pm
Shimano sandals without socks are great cycling wear.  Except when you push your fully loaded bike over your own toes.....  :jurek:    :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 August, 2016, 06:56:16 pm
Shimano sandals without socks are great cycling wear.  Except when you push your fully loaded bike over your own toes.....  :jurek:    :facepalm:

Or worse: Propstand.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 29 August, 2016, 11:41:31 pm
Shimano sandals without socks are great cycling wear.  Except when you push your fully loaded bike over your own toes.....  :jurek:    :facepalm:

Or worse: Propstand.

I'm not entirely convinced socks would help in either instance.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wombat on 30 August, 2016, 08:08:43 am
They'd soak up the blood from a propstand incident!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mike on 30 August, 2016, 08:22:21 am
I spent 4 hours of a sunny bank holiday afternoon writing a presentation for a meeting at 10.00 this morning. 

It's next tuesday.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: benborp on 30 August, 2016, 08:54:06 am
They'd soak up the blood from a propstand incident!

If it's a really bad propstand incident then socks help keep everything together until you get hold of some Tupperware.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 August, 2016, 09:21:21 am
They'd soak up the blood from a propstand incident!

If it's a really bad propstand incident then socks help keep everything together until you get hold of some Tupperware.

or ducktape, the 102nd use.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 August, 2016, 09:54:14 am
Yesterday:  Too complex to describe in full but involved carrying a bike minus front wheel by means of two short loops of nylon cord through saddle & round bars while tottering through a narrow space between two other bikes, over two comatose Labradors and past a broadside-on pair of trestles to get at the aforementioned front wheel and then trying to slot bike over wheel while still holding it by the cords.

Why: hands filthy, didn't want to touch nice clean bike but needed to force home new snap link on chain, hands too oily to touch bars and cord too floppy to go back over ceiling hooks once I realized the wheel was still missing.

Wish someone had been there to film it.

Wish our DIY shops stocked Swarfega.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 August, 2016, 03:46:28 pm
Shimano sandals without socks are great cycling wear.  Except when you push your fully loaded bike over your own toes.....  :jurek:    :facepalm:

Or worse: Propstand.

I'm not entirely convinced socks would help in either instance.

Related:  There's a lesser form of sandals vs propstand incident, where instead of crushing your toes with the weight of the bike, you cut them on sharp edges while kicking the stand into position.  I recommend tactical application of Sugru or equivalent (to either the stand or the toes) to avoid this.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CarlF on 30 August, 2016, 06:17:21 pm
Shimano sandals without socks are great cycling wear.  Except when you push your fully loaded bike over your own toes.....  :jurek:    :facepalm:

On the bright side, I assume you didn't have Marathon Winters fitted at this time of year
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 31 August, 2016, 08:27:52 am
OK. Packing for an overnight stay (at MiL) and customer presentation.

Suit? check
Shirt? check
Tie? check
all the other bits? check

<voices off from Mrs Ham> Are you sure you have everything?

Me: Of course (with slight note of irritation, obv. I think Mrs Ham thinks I'm sometimes a bit of a div)

It turns out I do have everything. In fact slightly more than everything as my two shoes are from two pairs. One brogue, one plain. They are both black - does that make it better?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 31 August, 2016, 11:15:58 am
Two left feet?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 31 August, 2016, 02:09:17 pm
Remarkably, no. And thankfully this table has a cloth right down to the ground (and I've done my bit now)

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 31 August, 2016, 03:42:36 pm
Two left feet?

I knew someone who DNS an Audax because two left SPD shoes reasons.

Doesn't happen to those who cycle there...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Morat on 05 September, 2016, 08:51:58 pm
I just drilled two nice precise holes in my brand new Radial mudguard to attach my RAW flap. Imagine my joy when I realised I'd drilled it through the wrong end of the guard :(

However, it turns out that I won't actually be bothered by the two holes shining at me every time I glance down, because the guards are too narrow (35mm guards, 30C tyres) and the little clips for the stays won't clear the tyre at all. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 September, 2016, 03:13:26 pm
Alarm goes off.  Mr Larrington stumble bleary-eyed about his room, falling over things and mumbling.  Mr Larrington switches on his laptop.  Mr Larrington notices dearth of e-mail.  Mr Larrington, forgetting he is wearing a gert big watch, squints at bottom right corner of screen and notices it has just gone midnight.  Mr Larrington prods the alarm clock and finds it can be programmed with two alarm-going-off-time.

Mr Larrington utters foul curses in a Several of languages and goes back to bed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 September, 2016, 05:12:18 pm
Alarm goes off.  Mr Larrington stumble bleary-eyed about his room, falling over things and mumbling.  Mr Larrington switches on his laptop.  Mr Larrington notices dearth of e-mail.  Mr Larrington, forgetting he is wearing a gert big watch, squints at bottom right corner of screen and notices it has just gone midnight.  Mr Larrington prods the alarm clock and finds it can be programmed with two alarm-going-off-time.

Mr Larrington utters foul curses in a Several of languages and goes back to bed.

BTDT

last night I forgot to set my alarm back to terra firma rather than North Sea.  North Sea involves such delights as daily briefings at 0630
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 September, 2016, 03:06:50 pm
I bought a piezo igniter, to set fire to gas cannisters while camping, off ebay. It didn't arrive. Turned out the fault was mine; I'd left a line off my address.  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

By great coincidence, today a DHL man arrived with a parcel. Not for me though. It's for a neighbour, whose name I don't recognise, and the address also had a line missing; but he said they checked it on the electoral register. Which I suppose they can do.  :-\
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 September, 2016, 08:07:49 am
Alarm goes off.  Mr Larrington stumble bleary-eyed about his room, falling over things and mumbling.  Mr Larrington switches on his laptop.  Mr Larrington notices dearth of e-mail.  Mr Larrington, forgetting he is wearing a gert big watch, squints at bottom right corner of screen and notices it has just gone midnight.  Mr Larrington prods the alarm clock and finds it can be programmed with two alarm-going-off-time.

Mr Larrington utters foul curses in a Several of languages and goes back to bed.

BTDT

last night I forgot to set my alarm back to terra firma rather than North Sea.  North Sea involves such delights as daily briefings at 0630

I just did the same. Double-freak out caused by the fact my alarm music is a bit of the Interstellar soundtrack that goes quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly quietly NOT SO QUIETLY! Thuswise sneaks into my head and goes BAHBAHBAH when I least expect it.

And then the fact my wife was there when she's normally gone. I told you I was flying to Madrid at 10am, she mumbles through her slumber in a way that says I'll pay for waking her up. I evidently wasn't listening.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 14 September, 2016, 01:17:00 pm
I did an accidental norty on the bike today.

came up behind a motorbike at a set of lights in Cambridge. Off he toddled and I followed, except he went left and I went straight on.  It wan't until a car hooted at me that I realised nothing else was following me and he had a left filter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 September, 2016, 03:39:05 pm
I drove through a red light last evening. Mrs. Wow was trying to alert me to the fact that it was red, but I was in a world of my own. I have been through those lights (legally) many times, but yesterday I couldn't see the colours as a result of the sun shining from behind them, and totally forgot that they were there. It was on a roundabout and I did all the other stuff correctly for a round about without lights.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 15 September, 2016, 08:10:57 am
I've been fiddling with right cleat lately and trying to figure out if it feels right managed to stick my foot in the wheel  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 15 September, 2016, 10:23:58 pm
Can I get a special award? I took in a parcel for a neighbour today, put it by the door for when they called. When they called, I wasn't there. Neither was the parcel. Which I had left where we leave recycling in transit. Which I (nobody else) had taken out and recycled - jumping up and down on it to make it fit in the recycling bin.

 :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 16 September, 2016, 02:09:36 pm
I think you've just won the thread.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 16 September, 2016, 02:15:20 pm
I think that Ham has just won the bloody internet!   :D  :D  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Oaky on 16 September, 2016, 02:39:38 pm
I don't think I've ever seen a more nailed-on candidate for POTD!  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 September, 2016, 06:28:17 pm
I did actually laugh out loud at that, thanks Ham!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 16 September, 2016, 07:48:48 pm
Re-commissioned the turbo trainer yesterday after a pretty dry summer and no real need to be indoors.  All started up OK and had a few software updates (TTS 4) but when I started the training, target 100rpm, the trainer was showing over 200.

I didn't think much of that as it was about double the target and I thought it might be a software thing i.e. count each leg.  But the weirdness continued when I dropped the cadence to 80, but the indicated value went up to 240.

Throughout this I was also using my Garmin Fenix 2, so I have a reasonable idea of the real cadence, plus the feel in my legs.

Anyone got any ideas or had a similar issue?


whilst nowhere in the league of Ham, I've just committed a fairly sizeable act of divinity/divness myself.

Having posted the above in another thread, I've just woked it out myself.

I'd set the taxc cadence sensor to pick up the wheel magnet, not the crank magnet, so when I upped the gear and dropped the cadence, the wheel speed still went up  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 18 September, 2016, 12:50:51 pm
Got up early this morning to makes some lovely canapes for our church's 80th birthday party today.  Feta cheese, sunsoaked tomato, palma ham parcel, and a black olive, speared on a cocktail stick.  Scores of them.  It wasn't cheap either, but it's a special day and it deserves a special effort for the bring-and-share lunch.

Got some slap on, high heels, brushed my hair and everything.

Arrived to a very depleted congregation, and no-one else had brought anything!

That party.  It's next week. 

It all got et, nevertheless  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 18 September, 2016, 12:58:41 pm
Ooops, well you gave people an unexpected treat!   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 September, 2016, 08:03:21 pm
Better than turning up a week late at least!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 October, 2016, 03:44:34 pm
"Time for a cup of tea," I thought. So I went into the kitchen, put the kettle on, opened the lid of the tea bag container, took out one of Mr Tetley's finest and dropped it accurately from a great height into... a soup bowl.

It seems I really needed that cup of tea.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MagnusOpus on 04 October, 2016, 04:04:27 pm
Saturday,

had to get some stuff from the boot of the car.....

Brain sends signal to arm to shut boot

Brain then thinks, I didn't leave the keys in the boot did I?

Sadly arm has followed the initial instruction and just isn't going to abort until it's mission is complete

Clunk....check pocket...look through boot window....oh bollocks

Never have this problem with a carradice

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 October, 2016, 05:00:00 pm
For extra divviness make sure your other set of car keys are hanging from a hook in the kitchen, three hundred miles from where your securely locked motorcar is currently parked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 October, 2016, 07:19:37 pm
"It's Tuesday night; bin night!" quoth the bot.
"We'd better put the bin out." remarks barakta.
"I've got the bin, you get the door.  There isn't anything festering in the fridge is there?"  says Kim, emptying the kitchen bin like a boss.
"Actually, pass me that recycling, I'll put it in the recycling bin while I'm at it.", going for extra credit.

And so it came to pass, and we hobble retire upstairs satisfied with a job well done.

*Time passes*

"What's that noise?" wonders Kim, "Ah, it's out neighbour and his idiotic collie putting their wheeliebin out.  Fair enough."
"Hang on, we didn't actually put the wheeliebin out, did we?" asks barakta.
"Yes, that thought also occurred to me.  Which is why I'm at this very moment instructing the computer to remind us when we next go downstairs."
"But we'll just ignore that because we already did the bins."
"I've also anticipated that problem, so I've told it to say 'actually put the bin out you idiot'."


(I'm reckoning there's a 50% chance of extra div points in the not too distant future...)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 October, 2016, 09:39:21 pm
For extra divviness make sure your other set of car keys are hanging from a hook in the kitchen, three hundred miles from where your securely locked motorcar is currently parked.


Last time I did that (many, many moons ago just after passing test) I was in front of the police station.  A very nice policeman showed me how easy it was to break into my car.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 October, 2016, 10:09:48 pm
I did it with my old Capri; the AA man got it open quicker with his metal thingummy than I could with the key.  Alas, modern motorcar locks are made of sterner stuff, but because I was too tight to shell out for electric rear windows he was able to wind one down enough to hook the keys (fortunately I had the rear seats down).  Only now, eight years on, have I realised he could probably have poked the lock override button with his stick instead.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 October, 2016, 10:17:12 pm
Update: Bin-related divvishness successfully averted through advanced technology.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 04 October, 2016, 11:35:46 pm
Update: Bin-related divvishness successfully averted through advanced technology.

Good oh.   :thumbsup:

I'm lucky here, inasmuch as the truck doesn't come through till about noon.  By that time I've generally noticed the neighbours bags out.
I also get a clue as to which week it is.  Here it is recycle bags every week and black bags once a fortnight, which is the opposite of what I was used to in Brum.  Certainly concentrates the mind when chucking stuff in bins.  Which is a good thing, I s'pose.
However, they do accept all the plastics, unlike Brum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 October, 2016, 12:55:02 am
Ours seem to have become a lot more random since the wheeliebins.  They now do an early morning recycling run along $perpendicular_road to maximise noise heard from the bedroom, but the normal bins can go at any point from early morning to mid afternoon.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 October, 2016, 07:29:59 am
Our bin men come round at about 5 a.m.  The bloke across the road leaves for work at ~4:30 so he trundles his bin out just before leaving.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 05 October, 2016, 10:24:19 am
For extra divviness make sure your other set of car keys are hanging from a hook in the kitchen, three hundred miles from where your securely locked motorcar is currently parked.


Last time I did that (many, many moons ago just after passing test) I was in front of the police station.  A very nice policeman showed me how easy it was to break into my car.

Back in the day of less than secure motor vehicles, any copper worth their salt had a length of plastic packing band coiled up in their helmet or handbag.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 October, 2016, 10:18:49 am
I once broke into our old Passat with a wire coat-hanger.

Meanwhile, my passing divviness arises from having chivalrously paid the speeding fine and accepted a point on my licence when it was the missus wot dun it. Now we're thinking of buying a new car and insuring it, and I'm not sure that a non-virgin licence won't incur an increased premium.  :-\
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MagnusOpus on 07 October, 2016, 09:46:39 am
Not the first time I've made the key mistake, we only have one set, and I'm loathe to spend the £200 we were quoted on a spare set!

Anyway, the RAC man got in easy enough using the big plastic spudgers and rubber balloon on the door frame technique
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 08 October, 2016, 12:21:35 pm
Not the first time I've made the key mistake, we only have one set, and I'm loathe to spend the £200 we were quoted on a spare set!

Anyway, the RAC man got in easy enough using the big plastic spudgers and rubber balloon on the door frame technique

If your car has a normal key slot you could get Timpson or whoever local to cut you a key which would unlock the car. It wouldn't work the immobiliser without the car being programmed to recognise it and opening the car would set the alarm off but that would quickly be sorted as soon as you put your hands on the real one.

You would, of course, have to have the foresight to have it with you...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: FatBloke on 08 October, 2016, 07:08:12 pm
I once broke into our old Passat with a wire coat-hanger.

Meanwhile, my passing divviness arises from having chivalrously paid the speeding fine and accepted a point on my licence when it was the missus wot dun it. Now we're thinking of buying a new car and insuring it, and I'm not sure that a non-virgin licence won't incur an increased premium.  :-\
Wouldn't worry about the premium. However, you should worry about a 12 month sentence for perverting the course of justice by putting your hand up for your wife's misdemeanors!!!   :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 10 October, 2016, 09:02:16 am
T42's in That France. They do things differently there
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 10 October, 2016, 02:53:35 pm
I once broke into our old Passat with a wire coat-hanger.

Meanwhile, my passing divviness arises from having chivalrously paid the speeding fine and accepted a point on my licence when it was the missus wot dun it. Now we're thinking of buying a new car and insuring it, and I'm not sure that a non-virgin licence won't incur an increased premium.  :-\
Wouldn't worry about the premium. However, you should worry about a 12 month sentence for perverting the course of justice by putting your hand up for your wife's misdemeanors!!!   :demon:

Don't tell me that you've never put your hand up your wife's misdemeanors?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pedaldog. on 10 October, 2016, 10:32:41 pm
i tried to charge a set of lights today. front light was easy, micro usb charged it fine. rear light had, what looked to me, like a flat but wide bit sticking up with circuitry painted on it. nowhere to plug the usb thingy into. Sprogs came over and I mentioned it to her. she looked at it and gave me a "Gibbs smack onna head!". it plugs directly into a usb output socket!
why, ffs, a different lead on front and rar lights?
HALFORDS innit!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 11 October, 2016, 10:58:54 am
'Cos there is a world wide conspiracy amongst electronics fu guys to make sure you have as little kitchen worktop as possible.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 17 October, 2016, 09:58:59 am
Coming to a full stop in a safe and timely manner is better effected if, after removing the front wheel to get a a dead leaf stuck inside the mud-guard and making annoying shSHHHHhshhhSHHHHsssHHHHHhhsssSSShhh-type noises, one remembers to re-hook the front brake :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 October, 2016, 10:22:07 am
I'm really distracted atm.

So distracted that when I went to supermarket (tescos) to buy breakfast and lunch this morning that halfway to work I couldn't remember if I'd paid or not (self-service checkout). I could remember packing food into my bag, but could not remember taking wallet out of jacket to pay.

So convinced I was that I hadn't paid, that when I got into work, I had to log into my bank account to see if there were any transactions. I'd even written down a list of what I'd bought, so I could take it back into the shop.

There, in my 'recent transactions list', payment to Tescos, this morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 October, 2016, 11:30:19 am
You have quite a conscience, mrcharly. I'm sure most of us in that situation would have maybe felt a bit guilty but at the same time decided well, the supermarket won't miss it, I'll just make sure I don't make the same mistake next time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 17 October, 2016, 01:04:49 pm
Coming to a full stop in a safe and timely manner is better effected if, after removing the front wheel to get a a dead leaf stuck inside the mud-guard and making annoying shSHHHHhshhhSHHHHsssHHHHHhhsssSSShhh-type noises, one remembers to re-hook the front brake :facepalm:

Did that Friday in Oxford, took the bike out of the car, put the front wheel back on, set off came to the first stop "bugger, no brakes", called myself names and sorted it out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 October, 2016, 01:06:36 pm
You have quite a conscience, mrcharly. I'm sure most of us in that situation would have maybe felt a bit guilty but at the same time decided well, the supermarket won't miss it, I'll just make sure I don't make the same mistake next time.
It was more the thought that the guy who monitors the self checkout would get into trouble that motivated my conscience, he's a nice bloke, always helpful and friendly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 October, 2016, 10:21:30 am
That sounds a far more understandable prompter of conscience. Pretty impressive (in a way) that they have a specific employee in charge of self-checkouts; the only ones I use, in the Co-op, don't seem to have anyone in charge of them at all, they frequently break down (or refuse to process my shopping in some way) and you end up at the normal till anyway.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 23 October, 2016, 11:20:59 am
You have quite a conscience, mrcharly. I'm sure most of us in that situation would have maybe felt a bit guilty but at the same time decided well, the supermarket won't miss it, I'll just make sure I don't make the same mistake next time.
It was more the thought that the guy who monitors the self checkout would get into trouble that motivated my conscience, he's a nice bloke, always helpful and friendly.

Just as a thought, there is more chance of getting him into trouble if you went back and 'fessed up as without that they would not have known anything untoward would have happened. (But I doubt any comeback to any employee)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pumpkin on 24 October, 2016, 10:19:12 am
wore a pair of Rapha winter gloves, took them off @ work and left them outside the room I got changed in. Later realised this and of course they weren't there. Ffwd a week and I left a pair of Defeet (prendas) fluo with assos liners in the same place/same time - What a div ??? ??? But a cleaner spotted them and returned them this am :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 24 October, 2016, 06:01:23 pm
Made an 'oopsie' when booking my flights: I have 1h20m at O'Hare to transfer from domestic to international flight.   :facepalm:

I have until Wednesday to study airport maps.  I'm pretty sure there's another flight that evening, but I'd rather catch my scheduled flight.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 November, 2016, 07:52:33 am
Get to station. Feck. cable lock isn't in bike basket. Must have dropped out. I'll have to go home. Could have fallen out anywhere. Need to get into work early. bugger bugger bugger.

Then look at bike hoop and see cable lock dangling loosely round it, like someone had left it there from the day before . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 03 November, 2016, 03:44:39 pm
No sound over the bluetoothy link to the radiogram. Computer volume OK? Restart bluetooth adaptor, no change. Stereo on-off. No change. Restart computer. No change. Curse the immaculately craven image of Finestre, the Demon of Such Things.

Then I notice iTunes (in common with such things) has it's own little separate volume control which the latest update had conveniently set to zero.

(Still, it's a parable of modern life that adjusting music volume requires three controls to be set - app, computer, and the bloody radiogram.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 November, 2016, 10:56:04 am
If you jibble the volume wossname in iTunes while using Airplay to propel musical tunes over the network to your oh-so-clever AV-o-Matic then the latter gets its volume jibbled too, but you can't see that it's done this because the AV-o-Matic is concealed from your vulgar gaze by a coffee table, and you only find out about it when you've juggled a mouse and two or three remotes and switched over to watch the news.

That Fiona Bruce is a dashed pretty gel but I don't need her to be SHOUTING AT ME.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 04 November, 2016, 01:49:47 pm
Last night, before bobo's I checked the weather for the area. Very light showers between 1500 and 1800.

I believed em. Didn't pack any wet weather gear. Rode to work in the dry. It then started to rain. Still waiting for it to stop.

Guess I will be getting moist on the ride home ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 November, 2016, 01:58:11 pm
I've resigned myself to the turbo this evening
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 05 November, 2016, 02:40:23 pm
It might have been a good idea to check whether I needed a top or bottom swing front mech for my hybrid before ordering the new part and trying to fit it. Then I wouldn't find out that a bottom swing mech would need to be fitted at exactly the same height as the bottom bottle cage boss :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 06 November, 2016, 05:22:40 pm
And the One Show.
I listened to the whole of the Now Show on iPlayer and there was nothing about the WMP initiative on close passes  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 November, 2016, 03:01:13 pm
Noticed that I had two Adobe accounts and was paying for two Photoshop CC licences instead of one, one for our company and one for me.  This was originally just mine but last year at some point I reckon that what I thought was an update to new features actually led me to purchase a new licence.  As far as I can see (scrabbling desperately for excuses here) I did this in the aftermath of a 600k when I was a bit more wawa than usual, which can be pretty wawa anyway when I have too much sugar on board.

That's Div Medal #1.

DM + bar is that instead of charging the extra licence to the company I charged it to my private VISA via my Paypal account.

DM + 2 bars: Since it was on the private account I never saw it the company account when I was doing our VAT returns and so I never claimed it back (a whole 1.8€/month).

I just cancelled the company licence, since we're closing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 November, 2016, 03:21:46 pm
When you accept work from an international source, always check what time zone they're using.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 November, 2016, 09:23:14 pm
I ordered all the parts from the supermarket to have burgers for tea.
Except the burgers.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 08 November, 2016, 11:07:13 pm
When you accept work from an international source, always check what time zone they're using.  :facepalm:

BTDT

but what to do when one party is in California, another in UK and the third in Japan?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 November, 2016, 11:30:59 pm
When you accept work from an international source, always check what time zone they're using.  :facepalm:

BTDT

but what to do when one party is in California, another in UK and the third in Japan?
With a party like that, who needs to look at the clock?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 November, 2016, 11:36:03 pm
Anyway, finished it 2h30 before deadline. At least, according to my calculation of UTC-6. Their's seemed to be an hour later sending me the stuff. Funny how that happens. FSVO funny.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 21 December, 2016, 09:54:52 pm
I thought this flat was too warm.....  left the storage heaters switched on all day  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 22 December, 2016, 01:26:50 am
This time of year I do a fair number of PDI builds. People come in to look for a bike, get a price then I pick them up off the floor and off they go to Smiths Toys, Argos or Sports Direct. Some just buy on line and wonder how the full size bike fits in that box that's a lot smaller.

Phone call late this aft, can I put a bike together? Yes. Can I drop it off today? Yes, before 6. Will it be ready for Friday? Yes.

Having run out of job cards I wrote the name & phone number on the box then unpacked the bike, adding the box to the pile of saved packaging I keep for the car breaker round the corner (cos getting big cartons for used panels & glass is expensive).

Five to six. 'Eyup, John'
'Eyup, Dave'
'Are you done with these boxes? I've got loads of stuff to get on the carrier tomorrow'
'No problem'
'Cheers, John'

Now I've finished the bike, just need to ring... Shit!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 December, 2016, 07:45:31 am
I thought this flat was too warm.....  left the storage heaters switched on all day  :facepalm:

Thanks for the reminder - I need a new heater for my workshop.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 22 December, 2016, 01:55:34 pm
I thought this flat was too warm.....  left the storage heaters switched on all day  :facepalm:

Thanks for the reminder - I need a new heater for my workshop.

Added to the list for my new gym.  Office can wait a while until I've assessed the contribution of the boiler to space heating
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cygnet on 22 December, 2016, 07:59:25 pm
Only noticed after I got to work. And with different fastening mechanisms!
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/12006263_10153705107995625_5411272030388277476_n.jpg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=be64785e1183daa4dad8e01b8a966209&oe=5D7D383E)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 23 December, 2016, 08:13:59 am
Are you a Div or does your sartorial elegance make you the new style icon?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 23 December, 2016, 08:40:35 am
Only noticed after I got to work. And with different fastening mechanisms!
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/12006263_10153705107995625_5411272030388277476_n.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=d07d91489f1df0182b35f8858ee5a63b&oe=58FBC931)
I think that gets you div-of-the-year award! Congratulations (or something). That is seriously some major distracted-thinking going on there.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 23 December, 2016, 03:59:46 pm
People's powers of observation are such that most of cygnet's colleagues are unlikely to have noticed unless told...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 December, 2016, 04:15:16 pm
Top divving, Cygnet! And just sufficiently non-matching colour schemes to enhance the effect without making it too obvious.  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 23 December, 2016, 05:07:15 pm
I forgot to lock the lateral adjustment on the router table...

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 23 December, 2016, 06:39:05 pm
^^^^ Oops! ^^^^
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 26 December, 2016, 11:15:47 am
I sharpened a penknife yesterday and tested it on the edge of a folded-up Shimano installation leaflet that was lying about the bench.  As I cut into edge A, edge B cut into my thumb.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 26 December, 2016, 12:11:23 pm
 You aren't the first to do this. Still funny though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 11 February, 2017, 11:51:34 pm
So i'm doing the washing up and working on a pyrex casserole dish lid on which there are spots of burnt deposits. I'm scrubbing away furiously on a spot which isn't shifting so wonder if it is on the other side of the lid. I turn it over and scrub away furiously and unsuccessfully. I then realise the spot is a blood blister on my fingertip......

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: De Sisti on 12 February, 2017, 09:00:23 am
Normally walk to work and carry a brolly (about 12 ins long). On Friday, as I'm leaving the building for home I notice spits
of rain. "Oh, where's my brolly?" I said. Probably on my desk. So back up 4 flights of stairs, check my desk area; brolly not there.
Get a colleague to help me look for it. Brolly not found. Go downstairs to an admin/security area and report it missing.


On arrival at home I find it where I'd put it the previous evening (next to the coat stand).


Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 14 March, 2017, 09:16:58 pm
Arrived at gym with little time to get changed before spin class due to a succession of minor div events.  I've had a real day of it.  Anyway opened bag to find I've packed a pair of undercrakers instead of gym shorts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 16 March, 2017, 07:32:06 am
There is a lay-by near us. Sometimes there is a trailer selling fast food. Sometimes there is a trailer promoting hot tubs.
The hot tub trailer is always parked in the direction of travel on that side of the road, the burger trailer is always parked against the direction of travel.
After months of passing I have finally realised that there is only one trailer with a serving hatch on one side and promotional posters on the back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 23 March, 2017, 09:07:44 pm
Bought some new cycling shoes (I'm finally going to give proper road pedals a try, after years of fearing them and resolving never to give up my SPDs...). Tried them on - they seemed too tight around the toes, which is weird as they're a Northwave 42, I've got several other pairs of Northwave shoes in a 42 and they fit just fine.

Was just about to pack them up for returning, when I tried them on again. This time, I discovered the cardboard bit inside the toe, which I'd forgotten to take out when I tried them on the first time. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 24 March, 2017, 01:54:58 pm
So, the wall bracket I had to repair has a plastic plug blanking then screw hole. Judicious application of a small flat bladed screw driver failed to extract the plug. Time to break out the bradawl. Slip- Ouch!!!! Claret........

Fecking div ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 24 March, 2017, 02:07:21 pm
My Parker fountain pen was empty.  I washed it out, then refilled it carefully, without a drop of ink going astray (which, I confess, is rare).

Buoyed by this, I decided to check my Pilot fountain pen.  Yeah, a bit low, so I went to fill it up. 

'Out, damned spot!' :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 24 March, 2017, 07:40:05 pm
Can anyone explain why, when hand spinning the crank, fast, after lubing, I decided to try to slow the rear wheel down with my hand? by clutching vaguely the bit near the (steel) mudguard? No? I just need to look at the thread title you say?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 March, 2017, 11:18:48 pm
This morning. Very first job of the day. Removing a brake disc. Now, this is usually done with a T25 in my trusty, ratchet bit driver. Nice chunky handle, pleasing ratchet action, easily reversible. This time the bolts were just too tight and I had to resort to the L-shaped key. Still too tight. Just give an extra tweek. OUCH! The bolt gave in and the knuckle on my middle finger was very neatly sliced by the disc edge. DICKHEAD!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 25 March, 2017, 11:12:51 pm
Only just getting it mobile now. This morning my finger looked like it was auditioning for 'the Elephant Man'. I've spent the day wearing vinyl gloves to keep it clean. Bloody sore thobut...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 March, 2017, 04:45:43 pm
It's taken until 15 minutes ago for me to be caught out by the GMT to BST switch – or rather by Transponders' failure to allow for it. Well, TBH it did clearly say GMT in the initial email, so I've only myself to blame. Still, that gives me an extra hour to finish tomorrow morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 01 April, 2017, 07:40:14 pm
MrsC and I were meeting a Facebook friend of hers at Stonehenge today. As usual the traffic was bad going west (it being a Saturday, the tidal flow reverses on Sunday afternoons), so the friend was rather late. We sat in the car for a while before deciding we'd go and have a look round the shop and café while waiting.
We then have a very pleasant lunch and an equally pleasant afternoon looking at the Stones and round the new museum.
It was the friend's birthday so we had brought some flowers. I was deputed to go and fetch these from our car. Can't find my keys. Borrow MrsC's, go get flowers. Then start the hunt for my keys. They are not in any of my pockets, which is where I would normally put them. They are not in the bag I was carrying. I can only assume I've dropped them somewhere. But Stonehenge is a big site and we've 'done' all of it! So I go to the information place, they get on the radios, no luck. They take details. I go to the café. Not their either.
For want of anything else, I go back to the car to search my bag again. Still no keys. Then I look in the front.
They they are. Still in the ignition. So the car had been sitting there for over three hours, open, with the keys all ready to be driven off.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Quisling on 03 April, 2017, 11:31:39 am
This is probably the right place to confess that a couple of years ago I was dagging our sheep and got to a particularly crusty bit which offered a lot of resistance to the shears. So I squeezed harder and nipped the end of the poor sheep's tail off.  It's surprising how far a startled ewe can jump, whilst squirting blood juice.  Expensive mistake :-(
(Sheep is fine, she's expecting lamb(s) any day.  Mrs Q does the dagging now...)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 03 April, 2017, 01:21:45 pm
Yesterday morning, I was sat happily outside with a cup of coffee as I applied black hammerite to a wrought iron gate.  The small tin of paint looked exactly the same diameter and colour as the coffee from above.

A dip of hammerite brush does little to improve the flavour of hot lava java.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 April, 2017, 01:40:24 pm
But the gate is now nicely awake?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: caerau on 03 April, 2017, 04:26:25 pm
Well it could have been worse.  You could have taken a swig from the hammerite tin!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LEE on 03 April, 2017, 04:40:32 pm
I once gave the kick-start of my FS1E moped a kick, whilst holding the HT lead and spark plug, to check for a spark.
It turned the engine over 4 times.  I know this because I still remember every one of the four "belts" I received.

I was 16 so it counts as experience.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: caerau on 03 April, 2017, 05:04:24 pm
That sounds like me wondering vaguely why I was able to still listen to the radio when I was rewiring a light socket in our old house in Birmingham a few years back, I had turned the electricity off.... hadn't I... err...?  :jurek:


I gingerly removed the screwdriver away from that there live wire in my hand.  :facepalm:


I was more like 36 then - so no excuse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 April, 2017, 05:33:22 pm
Changing the faceplate of a socket in our last house after having a new consumer unit and other stuff done by the local qualified electrician.  Having isolated it at the new board, for some reason I plugged a radio in to test it - STILL LIVE.  The boss of the firm of electricians was very contrite and sent out someone to rectify it immediately (not the original lad who'd just finished his apprenticeship).  He did tell us not to worry though as the RCD would have kicked in
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 17 April, 2017, 02:31:52 pm
We returned from the weekend in the Peaks in good time this morning, but with a poorly barakta.  I ceremonially unloaded the bike and camping stuff into the gangway, with instructions to clear enough space so I could get to the fridge, and went to make good use of the hour-and-a-bit remaining car hire by doing a milk and heavy things supermarket shop.

On returning, barakta had done as requested, and skulked off to bed.  I unloaded the shopping, fridged the fridgables, grabbed the Brompton and returned the car to the SEEKRIT cubbyhole in Bournville where it sucks up electrons and waits for the next user.  A quick ride back down the hill, and I hung up the wet tent and finished putting away the rest of the shopping.  At which point I found the parcel shelf for the car, which barakta had moved from the conspicuous place where I left it, presumably so we wouldn't be reminded of its presence by tripping over the bloody thing.

So, considering my options, a bit more tidying up in order to extract the bike trailer and a suitably hitched bike, then back up the hill to Bournville, discovered that fortunately the magic car computer would still unlock the doors for me (and proceed to moan about my reservation being over), so I was able to return the shelf without creating a new booking.  Then a CYCLIST appeared, stage right, upon a rather nice raw lacquer S-type.  He looked at me and my empty bike trailer quizzically, so I imparted the words of wisdom:

Top tip: Don't forget to put the parcel shelf back before returning a hire car.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 17 April, 2017, 08:10:48 pm

Spot the deliberate mistake....

Heat olive oil in a pan, add minced garlic, chopped red chilli, crushed dried chilli, prawns & the filthy velcro strap you use to keep the pump in place on the seat stay.....  :facepalm:



Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 April, 2017, 09:59:06 pm
It was the prawns, wasn't it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 17 April, 2017, 10:34:04 pm
Yeah, prawns are rubbish for keeping the pump in place on the seat stay.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 17 April, 2017, 10:50:51 pm
Yeah, prawns are rubbish for keeping the pump in place on the seat stay.

With that many legs?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 17 April, 2017, 10:58:37 pm
Never mix chillies and velcro. Or is it grape and grain?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 17 April, 2017, 11:04:12 pm
Velcro doesn't half stick to your teeth as well..... :-D


And pappardelle is crap at securing pumps
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 April, 2017, 03:34:23 pm
I swapped out a duff relay on our circuit-breaker board this morning. In accordance with the recommended procedure, I took 10 (!**) clear photos from every angle first so as to get the wiring right, then followed them and installed the thing with no problems.

I then noticed that the two relays adjoining the one I had replaced were exactly the same model with the exactly same wiring.  Glad we're not still in the days of Polaroid.

** currently humming Alice's Restaurant.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 20 April, 2017, 07:23:46 pm
I then noticed that the two relays adjoining the one I had replaced were exactly the same model with the exactly same wiring.
Yeah, but Sod's law would have the adjoining relays wired differently to the replaced unit if you _hadn't_ taken the photgraphs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 April, 2017, 07:33:57 pm
Indeed, I'm not sure excessive paranoia counts as divvish.

I had to determine the polarity of a battery last week by correlating the PCB-fished-out-of-the-bin orientation with a bit of stickytape residue on the battery.  I hadn't bothered marking the terminals because I was just going to probe it with a multimeter.  Then it turned out to be completely discharged...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 20 April, 2017, 07:38:37 pm
** currently humming Alice's Restaurant.
As am I now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vernon on 20 April, 2017, 09:38:25 pm
** currently humming Alice's Restaurant.
As am I now.
27 8 by 10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one saying what each one was.

Me too!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 20 April, 2017, 10:38:17 pm
I'd have soldered the original faulty relay back into the circuit board.

BTDTGTTS
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 20 April, 2017, 11:26:30 pm
He did tell us not to worry though as the RCD would have kicked in

I'm a big fan of RCDs.

See, I've been doing a fair bit of hedge trimming lately and... well, let's just say that the power cable for the hedge trimmer has been inadvertently shortened. Twice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 26 April, 2017, 11:09:38 pm
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 26 April, 2017, 11:14:38 pm
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:

Blimey, Basil, I didn't have you marked down as an icon of sartorial elegance!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 27 April, 2017, 08:21:30 am
Not really. 3 of them are Marks & Sparks
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 April, 2017, 10:17:40 am
The other 2 are Woolworths.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 27 April, 2017, 10:41:40 am
The other 2 are Woolworths.

No. Pound Shop.   ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 27 April, 2017, 10:50:59 am
I phoned a place in Stoke that does hire.
"Sorry sir.  Impossible today.  We normally ask for three weeks notice."

WTF  ???

Currently working my way  through young male rellies spare jackets and trousers.
Status improving to mildly eccentric uncle level.  (Normal)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 27 April, 2017, 10:58:00 am
Status improving to mildly eccentric uncle level.  (Normal)
Glad to hear, every family needs at least one :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 27 April, 2017, 11:03:41 am
The other 2 are Woolworths.

No. Pound Shop.   ;D

You're being unfair to yourself. I had you down as a Fifty Shilling Tailors man.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 27 April, 2017, 11:34:37 am
Thought I was being clever by booking a hotel stop on the DIY 600 I'm doing next month. It's about 420km into the route, so it will mean arriving in the middle of the night but after a shower and a few hours kip, that will leave a nice easy second day.

Discovered yesterday that check-in closes at 11.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 27 April, 2017, 12:02:34 pm
** currently humming Alice's Restaurant.
As am I now.
27 8 by 10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one saying what each one was.

Me too!
Ah, but do you know ALL the words?

Does ANYONE know ALL the words?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 27 April, 2017, 12:03:03 pm
The other 2 are Woolworths.

No. Pound Shop.   ;D

Demob suit?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 27 April, 2017, 12:17:24 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: 504steve on 27 April, 2017, 12:27:48 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!

Done that. I was only going to put a £10's worth in. But whilst filling I thought I'd treat the car a bit and bunged £40's worth of fuel in. Only to realise whilst putting the pump back it was unleaded not diesel. Expensively annoying .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 27 April, 2017, 12:35:14 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
How much?
Less than 1/4 of a tank, just top up with Diesel and don't be so stupid in future.

BTDTGTTS and got away with it.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 27 April, 2017, 12:37:13 pm
Cost me a fortune when I did that.  Filled up from fairly empty.  I got about half a mile.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 27 April, 2017, 02:19:51 pm
Including the £26-worth of unleaded I put in, it cost me £210! Hopefully a mistake you make once! Fortunately, no lasting damage to the car appears to have occurred.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 27 April, 2017, 02:36:36 pm
** currently humming Alice's Restaurant.
As am I now.
27 8 by 10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one saying what each one was.

Me too!
Ah, but do you know ALL the words?

Does ANYONE know ALL the words?
Yes.  Simon Harraghy, Lighting Designer par excellence, and general all-round Good Egg.

Though I haven't seen him in a while, so he may have forgotten it a bit :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Redlight on 27 April, 2017, 02:38:35 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!

Did that about 10 years ago when we were on our way to a wedding in our brand new (first ever) diesel car.  Let's just say there were two empty seats at the table and a very grovelling letter sent to our friends (who have since divorced, which is what nearly happened to us that day).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 27 April, 2017, 02:40:59 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 27 April, 2017, 06:57:58 pm
Came close once when I got a C1 as a courtesy car. Everything has been diesel for the last 15 years . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 28 April, 2017, 12:01:44 pm
Spent entire meeting wondering about reason for horrible medicinal smell in room. Eventually remembered had put savlon on crack in nostril.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 28 April, 2017, 12:20:07 pm
Spent entire meeting wondering about reason for horrible medicinal smell in room. Eventually remembered had put savlon on crack in nostril.
Agree that that's fairly div-like, but you're wrong about Savlon - the smell's amazing!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 April, 2017, 01:18:39 pm
I quite like medicinal smells.  I blame childhood memories of my parents on the rare occasions they didn't stink of smoking.   :sick:

Full divvishness cannot be achieved with tube-based substances unless you apply the wrong one...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 28 April, 2017, 04:53:53 pm
Yes, don't keep the Vick and Vaseline jars together..... :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 April, 2017, 07:35:24 pm
That could make for a stimulating evening.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 April, 2017, 09:14:10 pm
Did you hear the one about the builder who got his putty and his toothpaste mixed up?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 April, 2017, 09:30:07 am
Did you hear the one about the builder who got his putty and his toothpaste mixed up?
Nobody heard a word from him again?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 April, 2017, 10:39:39 am
All his windows fell out.

But his false teeth were OK

IGMC
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: De Sisti on 30 April, 2017, 11:31:47 am
Took out some clean pyjamas yesterday evening to wear for the night; had a momentary thought about the three
lots of washing I did earlier in the day. Went downstairs (for whatever reason I can't remember) and put the pyjamas into the washing machine. It was only upon waking this morning that I thought; "I'm sure I put these (the set I was wearing)  PJs in the washing machine yesterday evening".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 May, 2017, 01:41:02 pm
Ordered a plumbing adaptor - 15mm male plain-gauge tube - 1/2" male threaded. What I needed was 15mm male plain-gauge tube - 1/2"(12mm) male threaded.

Completely ignored the photograph that showed the threaded part being wider than the plain gauge bit. So of course it turned out to be 1/2" BSP (no, it wasn't shown as such on the website).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 03 May, 2017, 02:46:24 pm
I came out of Tesco and spent a while looking for my car, before remembering that I'd gone in my wife's car...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 03 May, 2017, 03:21:08 pm
I did similar in Biggleswade years ago, when Asda first opened. I went to see what it was like, came out with a bag of shopping and started hunting through my pockets and wallet for my return bus ticket, only for it to fianally dawn on me that I was standing by my bike ::-) :facepalm:

One reason was not wearing cycling-speffic clothes when doing errands by bike. The other is, of course, that I'm a feckin' div :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 03 May, 2017, 03:38:45 pm
My dearly departed Grandad took neighbours to Gatport Airwick a many of moons ag. 2 1/2 hour round trip for him. 5 hours later the family put the alarm out as he hadn't returned. He was found wandering the car park having lost it somewher in the concrete maze........
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 03 May, 2017, 04:01:19 pm
Many moons ago when I was about 10 yrs old my habit was to spend Saturday morning at the local swimming baths. One day I cycled down, had a couple of hours swimming with some friends and then followed them to the bus stop and got the bus home  ???

It was only when my brother asked where my bike was that I realised.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 May, 2017, 04:33:25 pm
That reminds me, the Country Girl sign has been removed by some men in hi-vis with a flatbed lorry.  Commissioned by Basil to deliver it to Waleslandshire?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 May, 2017, 06:42:06 pm
My wife remains convinced that the hire car she left at Brum airport many moons ago changed colour while she was in Italy.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 May, 2017, 06:50:14 pm
My wife remains convinced that the hire car she left at Brum airport many moons ago changed colour while she was in Italy.

Normal for Birmingham. (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/abandoned-mercedes-racks-up-14235-8115596)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 03 May, 2017, 06:52:39 pm
I've just sent a text message meant for one friend to another friend.  Luckily it was nothing rude !  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 04 May, 2017, 11:18:56 am
That reminds me, the Country Girl sign has been removed by some men in hi-vis with a flatbed lorry.  Commissioned by Basil to deliver it to Waleslandshire?
The Country Girl rusticated at last?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 04 May, 2017, 02:16:48 pm
Many moons ago when I was about 10 yrs old my habit was to spend Saturday morning at the local swimming baths. One day I cycled down, had a couple of hours swimming with some friends and then followed them to the bus stop and got the bus home  ???

It was only when my brother asked where my bike was that I realised.
;D

My prep school headmaster once did the 'driving into town and walking back home' thing, but followed it up the following morning with the panicked 'OMG Anne, our car's been stolen!' and phone call to the friendly constabulary.

Roger was lovely but he was a completely sieve-brained div.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 04 May, 2017, 02:35:31 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!  O:-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 04 May, 2017, 02:38:02 pm
But have you ever mixed up your AC with your DC? :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 May, 2017, 02:39:03 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!  O:-)
Have you ever put the electrons in the wrong way up?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 04 May, 2017, 02:45:20 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!  O:-)
Well, that would reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, so maybe you need to top up on neutrons.  There's be no additional charge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 May, 2017, 03:24:59 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!  O:-)
Well, that would reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, so maybe you need to top up on neutrons.  There's be no additional charge.

I don't think you can do that without a special screwdriver, thobut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 May, 2017, 03:28:47 pm
If you take your petrol or diesel car to the southern hemisphere, remember that the fuel will flow out of the tank the other way. This can cause problems crossing the equator.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 May, 2017, 05:40:46 pm
which direction does it go AT the equator?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 May, 2017, 06:22:52 pm
It doesn't.  You have to cross the equator on momentum and the fuel that's already in the manifold.  This can lead to embarrassment if done at an oblique angle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 May, 2017, 07:25:26 pm
This is why it's so much harder to go south to north; you've got to overcome gravity as well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 May, 2017, 09:45:07 pm
That explains why the flight up to Aberdeen is five minutes longer than on the way back
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 04 May, 2017, 09:48:37 pm
I posted a link to an article about portable vocal booths to a message group for an open gardens weekend where I had intended it to go to Boy Wunja.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 May, 2017, 02:27:23 pm
Got a letter from the Kent Police Driver Diversion Team this morning. I had my picture taken the other night while doing 38 in a 30 zone. It's a fair cop.

I'm annoyed with myself because I'm normally very good at abiding by the speed limit - no, seriously. I believe in speed limits and respect them.

All I can offer in my defence is that it was 1.15am on an empty dual carriageway. I'd been out to pick up my son and his mate from Canterbury West station but they had dozed off on the train and missed their stop so I'd had to drive on to Ramsgate to rescue them. I was tired and annoyed and let that cloud my better judgment.

FFS.

Oh well, I get to go on a speed awareness course, which should be fun.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 08 May, 2017, 11:37:18 am
Hope you help in the education of your fellow muppets! ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 08 May, 2017, 01:42:28 pm
Hope you help in the education of your fellow muppets! ;D

I'm seriously considering taking the points and fine rather than put myself through what I expect to be an ordeal.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 May, 2017, 02:01:00 pm
Hope you help in the education of your fellow muppets! ;D

I'm seriously considering taking the points and fine rather than put myself through what I expect to be an ordeal.
MrsC attended said course, due to circumstances nearly identical to yours.
It wasn't that much of an ideal and the police running it kept things relatively light hearted. I suspect for "speed fines are just a tax on honest motorists" brigade it wasn't so lighthearted.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 08 May, 2017, 02:32:31 pm
I found mine rather interesting, and learned a lot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 08 May, 2017, 02:35:41 pm
I suspect for "speed fines are just a tax on honest motorists" brigade it wasn't so lighthearted.

Being stuck in a room with such people is what I dread most. My opinion is perhaps somewhat clouded by having done jury service a few years ago - I'm imagining a similarly dispiriting kind of experience to that. But maybe I'm wrong...

We'll see!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Quisling on 08 May, 2017, 02:54:16 pm
Given that fines have just gone up you might consider the naughty driver course good value.  Instead of a fixed penalty you can now potentially face a fine of 50% of your (gross) weekly salary for a Band C offence
https://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/motoring/cars/using/the-uks-new-speeding-fines-explained.
I'm not sure how they'll deduce your weekly salary.  Will you be asked for your last P60 or current contract of employment, last payslip?  That will work in favour of company directors who pay themselves £11500 a year tax free salary and then pay the rest in dividends.  Even so, that's still potentially a £110 fine for a Band C offence.

Relevant weekly income is defined here https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/explanatory-material/item/fines-and-financial-orders/approach-to-the-assessment-of-fines-2/3-definition-of-relevant-weekly-income/
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 08 May, 2017, 05:38:04 pm
Given that fines have just gone up you might consider the naughty driver course good value.  Instead of a fixed penalty you can now potentially face a fine of 50% of your (gross) weekly salary for a Band C offence
https://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/motoring/cars/using/the-uks-new-speeding-fines-explained.

Interesting, I wasn't aware of that. Thanks for the info.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 11 May, 2017, 07:13:22 pm
Including the £26-worth of unleaded I put in, it cost me £210! Hopefully a mistake you make once! Fortunately, no lasting damage to the car appears to have occurred.
I have just replaced the fuel cap on my car. The old one was labelled 'Unleaded', which is why I was such a div. It now says 'Diesel'. Quite why the car had the wrong cap is a mystery only the former owner could answer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 13 May, 2017, 10:31:01 pm
Top Tip: When you do some work on your bike that includes unscrewing the nuts and removing the front wheel, make sure you tighten the nuts back up properly with your spanner before riding the bike down to the shops.

That made for a very tentative ride home when I discovered what the wobble was :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 14 May, 2017, 09:11:28 am
Ah, so its your fault that all bikes have been ruined by the addition of lawyers lips.  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 14 May, 2017, 11:03:35 am
Not actually me being a div, but I loved this story so much when I heard it last night, I thought I'd share it.

My local pub landlord grew up on a farm and, as a young man, would make extra pocket money by working evenings in a pub and by offering farm sitting services.
One day he was booked to cover the early morning milking on a farm a few miles away, and it was arranged that, as was normal because the farmer would be away, he would sleep in the house the night before.

He mentioned this to his boss in the pub, told him he needed to get away early that evening as he had to get up very early.  His concern was that he'd forgotten to bring a torch with him.  His boss told him not to worry as he could sort that out for him.  He then reappeared from the pub cellar with a candle on a saucer.

Undeterred, my friend set off late at night from the pub and cycled some miles to the farm.  When he got there however, he could not find the keys in the out-house as arranged.  He spent a long time searching other likely buildings with his candle, but to no avail.

By now it was well after midnight and he was desperate to get his head down for the few short hours before milking and eventually managed to force a small downstairs window.  He crept up the stairs with the remains of his candle, only for a door at the top to be flung open by a shotgun wielding farmer.

He was a day too early.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 14 May, 2017, 11:38:53 pm
I have suffered an astronomy injury :-[

After dismounting the scope I thought I would unlock the mount so that the counterweights didn't stress the mechanism. Scope in one hand, I reached back to turn one of the locking levers, completely filling to appreciate the effect horizontal counterweights would have on the mount once free- until the rotating mount topped my fingertip. The weight of 9kg of iron trapping a fingertip between two corners makes one bruise and swear and dance around a bit.........
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 15 May, 2017, 01:30:14 am
I have suffered an astronomy injury :-[

After dismounting the scope I thought I would unlock the mount so that the counterweights didn't stress the mechanism. Scope in one hand, I reached back to turn one of the locking levers, completely filling to appreciate the effect horizontal counterweights would have on the mount once free- until the rotating mount topped my fingertip. The weight of 9kg of iron trapping a fingertip between two corners makes one bruise and swear and dance around a bit.........

You are not alone...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 15 May, 2017, 09:41:03 am
Quote from: Gerard Hofnung
...and I met the barrel of bricks on its way down..
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 15 May, 2017, 09:42:45 am
I have, remarkably enough, a cycling related injury.

As we were putting the Dawes tandem away after fettling, we knocked over the Rennkompressor, and the handle struck my little toe.

Still hurts enough this morning to put me off riding in :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 15 May, 2017, 09:48:50 am
Firstly I re-installed and tightened the bottom bracket before I realised that I'd forgotten a spacer, then when I reattached the crank spindle to the I put it so the cranks were about 150o from each other
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 May, 2017, 02:21:50 pm
when I reattached the crank spindle to the I put it so the cranks were about 150o from each other

Chapeau. I've done that with square taper cranks before. Didn't think it was even possible with more modern types - don't they have splines and stuff to prevent such silliness?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 15 May, 2017, 02:27:30 pm
when I reattached the crank spindle to the I put it so the cranks were about 150o from each other

Chapeau. I've done that with square taper cranks before. Didn't think it was even possible with more modern types - don't they have splines and stuff to prevent such silliness?


It's a Surly crank. The non-drive side has one wider spline so that it can only be put on the right. That, of course, assumes that you have fitted the axle into the spider correctly. The drive end is also splined but allows about 16 possible orientations as the splines are identical...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 16 May, 2017, 12:20:09 pm
when I reattached the crank spindle to the I put it so the cranks were about 150o from each other

Chapeau. I've done that with square taper cranks before.

If you managed that with a square taper crank something was quite spectacularly wrong. With a square taper I thought that the only options were: completely right (180o), completely wrong (0o), and bang in between the two (90o).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 16 May, 2017, 04:11:13 pm
when I reattached the crank spindle to the I put it so the cranks were about 150o from each other

Chapeau. I've done that with square taper cranks before.

If you managed that with a square taper crank something was quite spectacularly wrong. With a square taper I thought that the only options were: completely right (180o), completely wrong (0o), and bang in between the two (90o).

I've almost done it. Bought (or nearly bought) a replacement LH crank.  The replacement had a square hole, the sides of which were parallel with the sides of the crank. The original had a square hole, the sides of which were at 45 degrees to the sides of the crank IYSWIM.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 16 May, 2017, 09:21:48 pm
I got chased by a goose today, while out running.  I failed to notice it's chicks until the bloody thing was flapping at my face and hissing like a cobra.  "fuck off goose" seemed to do the trick
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 May, 2017, 10:02:11 pm
when I reattached the crank spindle to the I put it so the cranks were about 150o from each other

Chapeau. I've done that with square taper cranks before.

If you managed that with a square taper crank something was quite spectacularly wrong. With a square taper I thought that the only options were: completely right (180o), completely wrong (0o), and bang in between the two (90o).

Ha! I was thinking general principles rather than specific angles.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 18 May, 2017, 10:21:05 am
when I reattached the crank spindle to the I put it so the cranks were about 150o from each other

Chapeau. I've done that with square taper cranks before.

If you managed that with a square taper crank something was quite spectacularly wrong. With a square taper I thought that the only options were: completely right (180o), completely wrong (0o), and bang in between the two (90o).

I've almost done it. Bought (or nearly bought) a replacement LH crank.  The replacement had a square hole, the sides of which were parallel with the sides of the crank. The original had a square hole, the sides of which were at 45 degrees to the sides of the crank IYSWIM.

I hadn't realised that the crank holes could be orientated differently. So that would give you 45o, 135o, 225o and 315o?

(Someone will check my working).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 May, 2017, 11:27:14 am
Adapted an old herb rack to take my collection of planes, adding a bar to the top back so that it would hook onto the edge of the sheet of chipboard on the workshop wall.  As I was putting in the screws to tie it back I realized that I hadn't left enough room to drop out the fluorescent tube above next time it fails. ???

Then realized that I could still drop it out at the far end and pull it out of the fitting. Not so dumb after all..?

Looking at it with the planes in, though, I decided it'll be more comfortable to use if I drop it 10-15 cm anyway. But then, the bar on the back will be in the wrong place, and it's glued & screwed. ??? twice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 May, 2017, 12:41:24 pm
Fixed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 22 May, 2017, 09:57:51 am
When I got back from the boat mooring yesterday (4 hours of lying on a metal grating pontoon angle-grinding, welding, painting and other assorting thingings), I didn't lock the car.

I also left the key in the car door.

Fortunately it was still there this morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 22 May, 2017, 10:54:55 am
redux

Repeat after me:
"I must not weld in a T shirt"

Guess who has a sunburnt arm?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 22 May, 2017, 04:55:58 pm
redux

Repeat after me:
"I must not weld in a T shirt"

Guess who has a sunburnt arm?

Similarly,  "I really ought to remember to put on  sleeved top rather than a polo shirt when starting up an twin glow engined rc model aeroplane on my test stand (so the aeroplane is at waist height)".

Think what it would have been like if you'd got a bit too close after the engine started rather than just spinning on the starter.  Only needed a plaster on the soft inner arm this time. Don't you remember that you've done this before?  Getting older sucks......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 22 May, 2017, 04:58:37 pm
Guess who has a sunburnt arm?

Me. Which is what you get if you spend all weekend out on your bike but don't remember to apply suncream often enough.

There's also a nice angry red patch on my thigh, because sometimes it doesn't occur to me to apply the cream all the way up to the hem of my shorts.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 22 May, 2017, 07:22:52 pm
I've got a black eye where the toilet lid fell on my face when I was cleaning the toilet.
That's pretty fecking divvy, but the true divvidom was not having a good convincing lie ready when my oppo asked how I did it and having to tell the truth.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 May, 2017, 07:24:07 pm
^ classic!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 May, 2017, 07:58:44 pm
I've got a black toe.  Regular readers will know that I haven't done anything remotely energetic for over a week now, so I'm at a bit of a loss to explain it.  Current theory is that either it happened a couple of days ago when I tripped over a fan heater, or (more likely) when a tin of soup fell out of the cupboard on Saturday, and in classic div style I dodged to protect my injured arm, and squarely headbutted it.  This resulted in much pain and foul language (barakta was very sensibly in Penge at the time), and a toe ricochet may have gone unnoticed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 22 May, 2017, 07:59:57 pm
I've got a black eye where the toilet lid fell on my face when I was cleaning the toilet.
That's pretty fecking divvy, but the true divvidom was not having a good convincing lie ready when my oppo asked how I did it and having to tell the truth.

fboab wins the internets.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 22 May, 2017, 08:17:13 pm
I managed to loose my car in a multi-storey carp ark in the US recently.

I parked it, and noted the level I was on, and made my way to the lifts noting how I got to the lifts so I could reverse the route.
Only I couldn't.
The car park seemed to have changed it's geometry like Hogwarts in the course of 2 hours.
I went to where I thought it was, and pressed the button on the key fob.  Nothing.
I walked around a bit, and close to the open edge of the building I heard a distant 'peep!'.
It was either one level up, or down.  I couldn't tell which.
So I walked round the ramps one level up, and one level down.
Nothing.  No 'peeps'.
Back to the middle level. 'Peep!'.
I couldn't determine where the peep was coming from.

Then I noticed a small opening in the concrete wall on the side of one of the ramps.
This led to another ramp going in the opposite direction ( indeed, another entire system of ramps! )
The car was on a hidden intermediate level, between the levels I was searching.

Turns out the car park is 2 separate interleaved systems, coiled together like strands of DNA!
And I was in the wrong 'strand'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 22 May, 2017, 08:48:16 pm
I started slicing an apple into discs tday, ready to slather with PB as a v tasty dessert.

I started by slicing the very bottom off, then picked it up with the same hand as holding the knife (too small for PB smearing) and put it in my mouth.  Thats when I noticed the blade of our sharpest knife, pointing at and now resting on the end of my nose.

Luckily not too hard and no excessive bloodshedding ocurred, but I have a distinct nick in the end of my nose.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jasmine on 22 May, 2017, 10:00:57 pm
I bought a different brand of muesli last week.  Quite early on, I decided I wasn't going to buy it again because it tastes too coconutty for me.  It ran out at the end of the week and I only had crunchy nut cornflakes left.  They tasted like coconut as well.  Then I looked at the milk - I'd bought coconut milk.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 22 May, 2017, 10:35:38 pm
LOL!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Salvatore on 31 May, 2017, 11:26:58 am
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:

I've taken note of this cautionary tale and posted my suit to Wales for my niece's wedding this weekend.

If it doesn't arrive in time I'll be nipping round to Basil's to see if I can borrow one of his.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 31 May, 2017, 11:46:24 am
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:

I've taken note of this cautionary tale and posted my suit to Wales for my niece's wedding this weekend.
Blimey.  That's a risky strategy, isn't it?   :o

Quote
If it doesn't arrive in time I'll be nipping round to Basil's to see if I can borrow one of his.
;D  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 31 May, 2017, 03:52:34 pm
So, I opt to mow the lawn as it's been looking a little wild (and lawn mowing falls under my wife's definition of 'boy stuff' too). Lug the mower and everything out front and issue the prescribed haircut. Fine.

Now, my driveway runs under the house and it's fronted by garage doors (it looks like a garage, but the real garage is at the bottom of the garden, though we park under the house to make room for my awesome collection of bicycles and old Ikea furniture in the actual garage). Anyway doors that are firmly locked because some idiot closed them.

Which would have been fine had my keys not been in the kitchen door at the rear of the house. The side gate is locked to keep out murderers and vagabonds. The front doors are locked. There's no other way into the back garden.

Sheesh. I had to clamber over the side gate in what, at my age, is a feat of advanced athleticism.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 31 May, 2017, 05:11:21 pm
I sent myself a Private Message on yacf...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 May, 2017, 05:12:11 pm
The correct option, surely, would have been to go to the pub until your wife got home. And if you had to take the lawn mower to the pub with you, well, that means you weren't drinking alone, doesn't it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 June, 2017, 09:11:23 am
I've got a black eye where the toilet lid fell on my face when I was cleaning the toilet.
That's pretty fecking divvy, but the true divvidom was not having a good convincing lie ready when my oppo asked how I did it and having to tell the truth.

Better than explaining that you wanted to put some eau de toilette behind your ears.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 01 June, 2017, 09:47:26 am
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:

I've taken note of this cautionary tale and posted my suit to Wales for my niece's wedding this weekend.

If it doesn't arrive in time I'll be nipping round to Basil's to see if I can borrow one of his.

Couldn't you just put a suit in your vehicle well in advance?

Or do something like putting a penknife in your shoe (my equivalent of tying knots in handkerchiefs)?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 01 June, 2017, 11:34:09 am
I've had stuff packed in a car "in advance" - unpacked by someone else before we left. Cos I was certain *I* had packed it, I didn't realise my stuff had been UNpacked till I needed it.  On that occasion it included my spare hearing aid when I broke my main one...  I was not very happy but somehow it was my fault for not checking that my Dad hadn't "unpacked" stuff mysteriously. 

I carried hearing aids in my "hand luggage" equivalent from then on and had to obsessively ask my dad "have you unpacked my stuff again" cos he has weird reasons for not putting everything he finds BACK.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 June, 2017, 01:22:16 pm
And this is how teenage barakta ended up knitting her own serial cable with clothes pegs...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 01 June, 2017, 02:09:46 pm
Yes, that was the second incident of Dad unpacking my stuff! >:(  He's lovely really but MADDENING!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Salvatore on 01 June, 2017, 08:16:00 pm
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:

I've taken note of this cautionary tale and posted my suit to Wales for my niece's wedding this weekend.

If it doesn't arrive in time I'll be nipping round to Basil's to see if I can borrow one of his.

Couldn't you just put a suit in your vehicle well in advance?
In my bicycle?

Quote

Or do something like putting a penknife in your shoe (my equivalent of tying knots in handkerchiefs)?

It would probably fall through the gaps between the straps of my SPD sandals.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 01 June, 2017, 08:19:52 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 01 June, 2017, 10:43:07 pm
I'm a slob as well as a div.    Reaching into the pile of unwashed cutlery in the sink for a paring knife I snagged a finger on the edge of my 12" Mora chefs knife  :facepalm:


Just a nick, thankfully..
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 01 June, 2017, 10:56:46 pm
I only put 'normal' cutlery in the washing up bowl. Sharp knives stay on the side where they aren't hidden by bubbles.

Alas my better half does not always follow the same policy - this has led to more than a couple swears over the years  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 01 June, 2017, 11:03:54 pm
I only put 'normal' cutlery in the washing up bowl. Sharp knives stay on the side where they aren't hidden by bubbles.

Alas my better half does not always follow the same policy - this has led to more than a couple swears over the years  :facepalm:

SNAP!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 02 June, 2017, 12:54:40 pm
I cut the ends off the (excessively long) bolts that attach the bike rack to the roof bars. I thought that the time it took to do so would be repaid in time saved when fitting/removing the racks. You know: by not having to screw the nut down over the unnecessary 10-15mm of bolt and back. Also, it was a satisfying thing to do.

Several years and a car or so later, the roof bars have been replaced by 'aero' bars. I discovered on the morning of our camping trip that the new bars are a deal deeper than the old ones, and the sawn-off brackets are now too short.

I spent about an hour looking for suitable replacements in my various "that'll come in handy one day" stashes before accepting that I didn't have adequate replacements. One trip to screwfix (and another 40 mins or so) later I have some bolts that will just about do, but not for all of the fitting points. So I finish the job off (suboptimally, but sufficiently) with toe clip (and other kinds of) straps - adding another 20 mins or so.

So:

Time saved over the years by 'trimming' the original bolts = (at very best) 60 mins.

Time spent trimming the original bolts = 12 mins

Time lost attempting to replace them = 120 mins.

Result? Misery.

And it's not over yet. I wasn't happy doing more than 50 mph with the frankenfixing, so I'll still have to find a better bracket solution.

 :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 02 June, 2017, 01:33:20 pm
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:

I've taken note of this cautionary tale and posted my suit to Wales for my niece's wedding this weekend.

If it doesn't arrive in time I'll be nipping round to Basil's to see if I can borrow one of his.

Couldn't you just put a suit in your vehicle well in advance?
In my bicycle?

Quote

Or do something like putting a penknife in your shoe (my equivalent of tying knots in handkerchiefs)?

It would probably fall through the gaps between the straps of my SPD sandals.
;D

Load into pannier bag in advance? [sigh]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 June, 2017, 05:20:01 pm
Much time and effort expended this afternoon hunting high and, indeed, low for a couple of ring binders containing paperwork related to Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.)'s financial affairs, but they appeared to be gorn, disparu like Mother's mink. "They'll turn up" we said, more in hope than expectation.

They did, about half an hour later, being exactly where I put them six months ago to raise the level of the monitor to a point where it wasn't half-hidden behind the opened lid of the laptop.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 June, 2017, 11:39:59 am
Most perplexed by absence of any driveway lights when I glanced outside on Saturday evening, I ventured out to the control timer and spent a while faffing with the settings. Why aren't they on? It took five minutes to realise that I was standing out there at just passed midnight and they're programmed to turn off at 11.55pm...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Nuncio on 07 June, 2017, 03:28:29 pm
Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 :facepalm:

I've taken note of this cautionary tale and posted my suit to Wales for my niece's wedding this weekend.
Blimey.  That's a risky strategy, isn't it?   :o

Quote
If it doesn't arrive in time I'll be nipping round to Basil's to see if I can borrow one of his.
;D  :thumbsup:

Suit arrived in time, though not without some drama. It was waiting at the post office from Thursday but I didn't know till Friday afternoon (the card wasn't in an obvious place). Then when I went to pick it up they brought a Wiggle box out from the back.  Given that it I'd ordered some parts from Wiggle my heart sank, but lifted again when I saw that it was addressed to Salvatore. He'd managed to include shoes, and rolled up jacket and trousers, but couldn't find the space for a bag of Haribo.

My div moment was to forget my wallet when getting intot the wedding car with soon-to-be-given-away daughter.  The free bar (free except for me) was dependent on it. But fortunately the route between chapel and venue was past my house so I was able to ask the driver to pull in for a minute while I retrieved it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 June, 2017, 02:02:07 pm
Just about to rout my truss-rod channel, I took a dummy pass with the router and found that it seemed to wander. Checking dimensions, I found that one end of my centre line was 2mm closer to the edge of the wood than the other. And the whole thing was marked up with 2H pencil and HB-filled scriber lines that'll be practically impossible to erase.

Bugger.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 11 June, 2017, 07:26:10 pm
It's me, I'm the div.

I'm well behind on my engineering project that's the final module I need for my engineering degree to the point where my tutor thinks I should strongly consider deferring the module to next year. Trying to do three modules at once was always going to be tough but I should have made more time or studied better.

Which is fine but the version of the degree I'm on isn't offered beyond this year so I'd have to transfer to the new one and not all my completed modules will carry over so I'll have to do a bunch more at triple the price (I'm on transitional pricing at the moment).

So with a lot to do and not much time I've wasted the whole day going round in circles rather than getting as much done as possible to ensure I've got at least a chance of completing the module this time around.

I feel sick.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 12 June, 2017, 10:31:44 pm
Standing in my kitchen wearing a lightweight dressing gown in a natty blue stripe.  I realise I haven't tidied away all the shopping.   Go to put the large pot of Yeo Valley yoghourt in the fridge & drop it.


The foil top ruptures & I get a directional spray of cool white organic yoghourt right up under my dressing gown  :jurek: Quite refreshing really.......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 15 June, 2017, 09:00:14 am
Walked out of work yesterday and O NOES! Front tyre was flat at the bottom. Having been a Cub Scout Guy knows all about Being Prepared. I'll just replace the tube with the new one I keep in my pannier. I'd got the spare tube all right...

Question: Why on earth would I want to lug tyre levers and pump around with me? :facepalm:

Ho-hum. Walked home yesterday, and walked in today with said non-essential items. ::-)

Bike all fixed now :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 15 June, 2017, 07:22:39 pm
Question: Why on earth would I want to lug tyre levers and pump around with me? :facepalm:
Better than lugging around a non-functional pump and trying to use it to inflate a newly patched tube by the roadside 15 miles into a 30 mile commute at double oh stupid o'clock.  DAHIKT.  See thread title for clue.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 16 June, 2017, 07:56:53 pm
Standing in my kitchen wearing a lightweight dressing gown in a natty blue stripe.  I realise I haven't tidied away all the shopping.   Go to put the large pot of Yeo Valley yoghourt in the fridge & drop it.


The foil top ruptures & I get a directional spray of cool white organic yoghourt right up under my dressing gown  :jurek: Quite refreshing really.......

One way of sorting out that irritating medical condition............
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Oaky on 17 June, 2017, 12:58:41 am
Playing 4 v 4 touch rugby earlier (I'm not a player) I suddenly found myself on the wing with space to run.   I made it all the way,  then stopped essentially dead to ground the ball,  and badly jarred both my ankles.

The left is probably going to be OK, but the right is still smarting, and currently wrapped in a bag of ice cubes and an old tee shirt.

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Oscar's dad on 17 June, 2017, 05:16:39 am
Playing 4 v 4 touch rugby earlier (I'm not a player) I suddenly found myself on the wing with space to run.   I made it all the way,  then stopped essentially dead to ground the ball,  and badly jarred both my ankles.

The left is probably going to be OK, but the right is still smarting, and currently wrapped in a bag of ice cubes and an old tee shirt.

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

Should I pop round over the course of the weekend with my Healing Hands?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: tippers_kiwi on 17 June, 2017, 10:52:01 am
Some of us simply are not built to play 'touch' rugby. I learnt this some time ago!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 19 June, 2017, 04:46:10 pm
Oh well, I get to go on a speed awareness course, which should be fun.

Did the course today. It was really interesting - I definitely learned a few things. Pretty much a wholly positive experience.

As many others who have done the course have said, I came away from it thinking it should be mandatory for all drivers, not just those who are caught speeding.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 20 June, 2017, 03:34:58 pm
Definitely!

Glad it was a good use of your time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 21 June, 2017, 03:02:04 pm
Not sure where the QR skewer is for my spare rear wheel. Never mind, I'll just borrow the one from my spare front wheel...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: iddu on 25 June, 2017, 09:44:13 pm
Yes, you may have been a fan of Tullio's stuff for decades...

...but when you rebuild your wheelset on Shimano hubs, don't go putting a Campagnolo cassette on the order.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 26 June, 2017, 04:23:49 pm
Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 26 June, 2017, 04:26:13 pm
 ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Oscar's dad on 26 June, 2017, 05:16:07 pm
Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!

I have done a similar thing.  You might not know this, and if you don't you can have this tip for nothing (no need to thank me  ;D ) but USB headsets only work when you plug them into your laptop.  There's no point doing the whole "Hello, can you hear me?  Oh FFS, this headset is useless, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" thing if you haven't plugged it in. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 26 June, 2017, 05:38:31 pm
Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!

I have done a similar thing.  You might not know this, and if you don't you can have this tip for nothing (no need to thank me  ;D ) but USB headsets only work when you plug them into your laptop.  There's no point doing the whole "Hello, can you hear me?  Oh FFS, this headset is useless, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" thing if you haven't plugged it in.

Or, speaking on a call for two minutes before realising you'd started the call on mute.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Oscar's dad on 26 June, 2017, 05:40:11 pm
^^^ I've never done that!  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 26 June, 2017, 08:34:45 pm
Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!

I have done a similar thing.  You might not know this, and if you don't you can have this tip for nothing (no need to thank me  ;D ) but USB headsets only work when you plug them into your laptop.  There's no point doing the whole "Hello, can you hear me?  Oh FFS, this headset is useless, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" thing if you haven't plugged it in.

Or, speaking on a call for two minutes before realising you'd started the call on mute.

That happens on every single call I'm on. Not just to me, but to everyone else. The truth, that no one can admit, is that 80% of the time people are actually updating FB/tweeting about their cat/writing an email [delete as appropriate] while they were on mute and are now forced to wing it since they obvious can't admit they weren't even listening. Yes, I gave a very thorough and considered answer but alas I was on mute so now I'll bumble like Boris.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 26 June, 2017, 08:42:05 pm
Has there *ever* been a VC session that hasn't started with 30 minutes of can-you-hear-me-can-you-see-me?
And that's the internal stuff where we're all using the same system.

Then try to VC with multiple clients in their offices, who have no admin rights on their PCs.
Cue hours of nonsense with browser plug-ins, webex / bluejeans / goto-meeting clients, and finally giving up and saying "I'll just send you a recording".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 26 June, 2017, 09:40:31 pm
Just the other day, I topped 40 minutes of a one hour call experiencing just that. Dithering, ditzy sales drone, confused clients. I made and ate a fruit salad while they sank into their own vortex of mutual confusion.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CrinklyLion on 26 June, 2017, 10:01:59 pm
Has there *ever* been a VC session that hasn't started with 30 minutes of can-you-hear-me-can-you-see-me?

Yes.  My observed lesson whilst on my first teaching practice in Consett, about 12 years ago.  Video-conferencing with a school in Ohio, one in New York, and a nice man called Joe from NASA and it all went like clockwork even with my classroom being filled with two entire classes of Y5 children, about a dozen teachers/tutors (because EVERYONE came to observe), the head, a couple of governors and the caretaker :D 

Sorry, I probably used all the good video-conferencing karma for an entire generation in that one afternoon.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CrinklyLion on 26 June, 2017, 10:03:37 pm
Anyway, back to being a complete dodo.

At the weekend I baked a load of cakes, most of which I few to the FNRttC but a few of which I saved.  Yesterday I want to the Rally and completely failed to take the four reserved st clements cakes with me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 June, 2017, 10:47:23 pm
Good thing I had a bit of room in that pannier...   :smug:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 June, 2017, 11:54:16 am
Leaning over to look at something I neglected to consider the mug of coffee I had just filled. Which promptly spilled all over my feet. I swear Little Monster Cat, who was observing from a safe distance, just raised her eyebrows as she watched me do.

The I came back to my office and for reasons unknown somehow manage to twist the inky filler barrel thing on my pen while scribbling. Which I only noticed by dint of the fact I now have bright purple fingers. Possibly I should just start the weekend already.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 04 July, 2017, 03:29:10 pm
Made myself a coffee with the Aeropress after lunch, using the inverted method, and forgot to put the filter on before turning it the right way up. Ouch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 07 July, 2017, 11:09:13 am
Got myself in a bit of trouble with CBH this morning......

My lovely wife has been away on holiday with her "Aged Mum" for the week, so this morning I got up early to clean the house...yes, I hadn't bothered all week but felt it best to do so on the hope that the cats would return and not tell her tales of grime and slime.

To this end, I got the new hoover out and gave the floor a quick going over. I was impressed how quiet and effective the new hoover is, this being the first time I have used it.  I said this to CBH when she called.... only to be told that the new hoover is over 2 years old ....  :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Oscar's dad on 07 July, 2017, 12:14:20 pm
Oops!  Funny story though  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 08 July, 2017, 07:37:24 am
..

To this end, I got the new hoover out and gave the floor a quick going over. I was impressed how quiet and effective the new hoover is, this being the first time I have used it.  I said this to CBH when she called.... only to be told that the new hoover is over 2 years old ....  :facepalm:

 ;D

I'm not allowed to use the hoover.  But when it goes wrong I must fix it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 11 July, 2017, 08:31:21 pm
This evening's plan was simply to complete the upper wing for the current build (port, centre and starboard sections); about 10 to 15 minutes work.  Got to the starboard upper and found that the root rib was *fractionally* off perpendicular to the leading/trailing edge so that wasn't ever going to work.  *Not* best pleased with myself.   

Of course it was the only dud rib alignment out of some 20 plus of them wasn't it? 

Cue 15 or 20 nerve wracking minutes with the 66TPI scalpel saw and a fine scalpel blade disconnecting the offending rib then a further 10 or so resetting and reglueing it.

Fortunately the fix seems to have worked, but, what with waiting for glue to set and other fettling, that was 2 hours gone rather than the planned quarter of an hour.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 12 July, 2017, 08:27:26 am
This evening's plan was simply to complete the upper wing for the current build (port, centre and starboard sections); about 10 to 15 minutes work.  Got to the starboard upper and found that the root rib was *fractionally* off perpendicular to the leading/trailing edge so that wasn't ever going to work.  *Not* best pleased with myself.   

Of course it was the only dud rib alignment out of some 20 plus of them wasn't it? 

Cue 15 or 20 nerve wracking minutes with the 66TPI scalpel saw and a fine scalpel blade disconnecting the offending rib then a further 10 or so resetting and reglueing it.

Fortunately the fix seems to have worked, but, what with waiting for glue to set and other fettling, that was 2 hours gone rather than the planned quarter of an hour.

Yup.  Been there.........  Usually after glueing up something critical late at night then going to bed.  Only to look at it next morning and....  At least it was rectifiable. I have a 'relaxed' approach to a build programme, in that I don't have one.  It'll be ready when its ready.   (Goes off to spray the witness coat on the underside of the Grumman GA-7 that didn't get done yesterday as once the paint on the top side had dried it started raining, and I don't spray paint indoors.  Then I can see where I need any filler in the glass/epoxy skin).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 12 July, 2017, 08:34:52 pm
Arrived at work this morning. Shower time. I took the 'old' towel home last night to be washed so will have b.r..o...u....g.....h......t

or not.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 13 July, 2017, 09:10:12 pm
Not me this time, but
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jul/13/texas-man-atm-bank-of-america-escape (https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jul/13/texas-man-atm-bank-of-america-escape)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Oscar's dad on 14 July, 2017, 06:17:30 am
Not me this time, but
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jul/13/texas-man-atm-bank-of-america-escape (https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jul/13/texas-man-atm-bank-of-america-escape)

I think the Texan ATM man has just won this thread!  Quick, get him on yacf, he's just the sort of fecking div we need!  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 14 July, 2017, 06:56:41 am

Quote
“Apparently he left his cellphone and the swipe card he needed to get out of the room outside in his truck,”

Good job the keys to his truck wouldn't fit through the slot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 14 July, 2017, 08:38:26 am
Unbelievable that the door could be kicked in. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 15 July, 2017, 08:31:08 am
There are times when, while not morally correct, it is right to tell a “little white lie” to ones partner.

As an example, a few weeks back after explaining that I could not afford  some gig tickets (£100 each!) as we had a vet bill to pay, I was confronted with a confused looking CBH who asked why, given this, I had just brought a new set of wheels. In reply I explained that the wheels were not new but an old set which I had sent away to have new rims, spokes and a hub fitted….much cheaper than new wheels I said.

Then, there was the following conversation on her birthday:

CBH (Very angry looking and a bit shouty). “So, once again you have mixed up my and your ex partners birthday!!!

Me: (thinking very quickly): “No Dear, I was going to try to break it to you gently but the item I ordered was out of stock at Tiffany’s so they are flying it in from New York. It should be here by Friday at the latest.

Quickly followed by…

Posh person at Tiffany’s: “Of course Sir, we can have that item with you tomorrow: we pride ourselves on our service. However Sir, I am unaware of this “free postage and a packet of Haribos” you mention.” (True story).

So, come this morning….CBH asks why I had the window open during the night: something I don’t do that often. Of course the correct answer it:

Me: “It was a bit warm and I thought some fresh air would do me good.”

And not:

Me: “As I hoped the traffic noise would drowned out the sound of your snoring.”

It seems that I am sleeping at a place called: “Goto Hell” tonight. I have checked the map but I can’t seem to find it. Perhaps one of our Audax chums knows where it is?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 15 July, 2017, 10:59:01 am
I am sure she will calm down.  So long as you don't make the suggestion :hand:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 July, 2017, 11:12:55 am
It's in Norway (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 20 July, 2017, 10:31:41 pm
I've made a small amount of noise at work about the sudden loss of our secure cycle parking.   Not noise about the loss of it, shit has to be done, noise about the loss of it at 4 days notice.  Not a lot of noise either, I'm a contractor on 1 weeks notice on a project that has outed a lot of contractors this year.  Still, more than zero noise has been made about having to leave my nice bikes on the street until I can make disposable bike or folding alternative arrangements.

At the weekend I removed the more valuable removables from the bike.  Monday I was off. Yesterday and today I carefully locked my bike to a Sheffield stand using a Gold rated D lock & cable plus a hefty cable lock.  I did not use the the temporary not bolted down Sheffield toast-rack stands.  I walked nervously away.  Today for some 'did I leave the oven on?' type reason I went back and checked I'd not done something stupid with either lock such as catch an adjacent bike or loop the cable lock so as its not actually doing anything.  I had not, I went to work.  I may have moaned to fellow cycling contractors a bit about having to use a sweaty back pack rather than my nice rack pack.  I may have mentioned not using the temporary stands as obviously sooner or later the whole lot will get lifted on a flatbed for the thieves to sort out the locks at their leisure resulting in 16 bikes to gumtree.  Bleedin tea leaves are everywhere, inevitable innit.

On the way down in the lift this evening I reached in my bag for my Garmin. I froze cold.  I checked the other pockets knowing damn well it was not there, it wasn't.  I walked to my bike thinking whale music and other calming thoughts trying not to think about how the hell I'm going to a ) afford and b) find time to sort another garmin before my cycling holiday in 8 days, 4 of which I'll be away on business.  Bike still there - good start.  Garmin still there and still running after 10.5 hours.

Muppet 'tween.  Lucky, lucky muppet  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 21 July, 2017, 09:44:39 am
So, last weekend I ordered some new fencing for the "lower paddock" and as I like doing things like this, I booked today off to fit it.

Anyway, no sign of the fencing at the time and date agreed so I phone the supplier....... I had ordered the delivery for next Friday and not today..... :facepalm:

CBH has just told me I am taking her to the garden centre as a punishment.  :facepalm: :sick: :(


EDIT next day to add... The trip to the garden centre cost me £120!!!!  :o   Yes, more hydrangeas  :-\ >:( :hand:   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 July, 2017, 09:51:23 am
It's in Norway (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway).
It's also where Poles, being good Catholics, go for their holidays.  (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hel,_Poland)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 21 July, 2017, 07:45:29 pm
I appear to have mislaid a stem. A new stem. A new Thomson stem.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 23 July, 2017, 05:27:34 pm
I am now a member of the got half way to the airport without passport club.

Not a good week
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 23 July, 2017, 08:23:31 pm
I didn't get back from London till 0900 today.

I let myself in the back gate at 2130 expecting No1 Son to let me in.  He wasn't in.  It dawned on me that ...

I might have locked myself out of the house.

My phone might have run out of charge.

I sat in the rain in the back yard waiting for my son to come home from the pub and turn the lights on.

The lights didn't come on.

Midnight arrived.  The church clock chimes first, then the one in town.

Tried to break in by bashing the window with some garden furniture.  Furniture bounced off the window.

Considered climbing onto the kitchen roof.  Rejected this idea as madness.  My body will not fit through that tiny bedroom window.  Not in one piece anyway.

Walked into town.  Got a taxi to the police station, hoping they'd break in for me.  PC Plod was not at home.  Nor was he answering his emergency phone outside the police station.

Swallowed my pride and went to my friend's house to crash.  My, how she laughed.  I'll never be allowed to forget this one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 July, 2017, 08:30:26 pm
Oops!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 July, 2017, 08:41:38 pm
Snork!   :D  And you were already damp & tired from the ride.   Hope you've managed a hot bath & relaxing cup of tea.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 23 July, 2017, 08:42:36 pm
Snork!   :D  And you were already damp & tired from the ride.   Hope you've managed a hot bath & relaxing cup of tea.

Yeah.  Then I went to work for eight hours.  Then walked home in the rain with no coat.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 July, 2017, 08:49:14 pm
Snork!   :D  And you were already damp & tired from the ride.   Hope you've managed a hot bath & relaxing cup of tea.

Yeah.  Then I went to work for eight hours.  Then walked home in the rain with no coat.


 :facepalm:   Sending virtual hugs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 23 July, 2017, 08:58:00 pm
Snork!   :D  And you were already damp & tired from the ride.   Hope you've managed a hot bath & relaxing cup of tea.

Yeah.  Then I went to work for eight hours.  Then walked home in the rain with no coat.


 :facepalm:   Sending virtual hugs.

Nah.  'S fine.  Strangely enough, when I said 'I can't believe I did that' to my colleagues, my friend, and my son, the reply every time was 'I can.'
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 July, 2017, 09:00:44 pm
You are the person who turned up to a bunkhouse weekend without a sleeping bag after all...... ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 23 July, 2017, 09:04:40 pm
You are the person who turned up to a bunkhouse weekend without a sleeping bag after all...... ;)

Oh!  Yes, I did didn't I  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 July, 2017, 09:07:07 pm
Ooh Ruthie, that's verging on type two fun by the sound of it. Hope you're more rested now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 July, 2017, 09:11:45 pm
That sounds like a meander too far to me, Ruthie! Glad your pal was OK with it. Couldn't you charge your phone on the train on the way back? And glad you can see the funny side.

You are not the only person I know who turned up to a weekend without a sleeping bag. One of Jane's pals did this to a Lewisham Cyclists camping weekend once. Fortunately it was a pretty warm weekend and I lent her a blanket. As it happened, there was a 24 hour Tesco next to the camp site and she was able to provide for herself on the second night.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 23 July, 2017, 09:17:53 pm
reminds me of returning from honeymoon in Sicily.

My parents had volunteered to drop off some wedding presents on their way home with only a small detour past us.  Gave them the house keys, pop them throuh the letter box when you're done, we'll take the spares.

Got back to Wife's parents, loaded up both cars and set off.  Arrive home very late, spare keys don't fit the lock. 

Fart around a bit in the dark, give up, move stuff between cars, sleep in my car sharing a bottle of grappa for sustenance.

Wake up in the morning and break into the house with my swiss army knife.

Visit the DIY store that afternoon and reinforce the locks
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 July, 2017, 08:00:24 am

Tried to break in by bashing the window with some garden furniture.  Furniture bounced off the window.

This story would only have been improved if you'd been arrested for trying to break into your house.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 24 July, 2017, 08:31:13 am
Having locked myself out a few months ago, I learned how insecure our house was.
If a 68 year old can use a drain pipe to get onto an outhouse then in through a window, anyone can. 
That security issue has now been addressed.

In further div news, when I got up this morning, the dog, although pleased to see me, didn't rush down to the basement for the back door as usual.  I went down anyway, calling her after me.  She didn't seem particularly interested, but dutifully followed.
And, of course, there was the back door standing wide open. (Again)
GN.  We weren't murdered in our sleep. (Again)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 24 July, 2017, 09:01:45 am
I didn't get back from London till 0900 today.
...
Swallowed my pride and went to my friend's house to crash.  My, how she laughed.  I'll never be allowed to forget this one.

 :o 

Well, you've certainly had some exciting times recently.  Is the friend you mentioned, by any chance, Jane?   ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 24 July, 2017, 09:07:47 am
I didn't get back from London till 0900 today.
...
Swallowed my pride and went to my friend's house to crash.  My, how she laughed.  I'll never be allowed to forget this one.

 :o 

Well, you've certainly had some exciting times recently.  Is the friend you mentioned, by any chance, Jane?   ;D

Might be  :-\
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 24 July, 2017, 09:58:23 am
You are the person who turned up to a bunkhouse weekend without a sleeping bag after all...... ;)

Oh!  Yes, I did didn't I  ;D
... and Long Itchington?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 24 July, 2017, 10:21:13 am
You are the person who turned up to a bunkhouse weekend without a sleeping bag after all...... ;)

Oh!  Yes, I did didn't I  ;D
... and Long Itchington?

Might have  :-\
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 July, 2017, 11:12:31 am

Tried to break in by bashing the window with some garden furniture.  Furniture bounced off the window.

This story would only have been improved if you'd been arrested for trying to break into your house.
After having smashed your own windows.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mike on 24 July, 2017, 11:08:07 pm
even if you are a bit pissed, take the extra time to find the lid to the dips before you put them in your pannier to cycle home from the picnic. 

Hummusageddon.


Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 25 July, 2017, 12:14:09 am
Well you'll certainly be able to spot Mike on a group ride, he'll be the one with the huge cloud of flies around his pannier...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 July, 2017, 07:48:13 am
even if you are a bit pissed, take the extra time to find the lid to the dips before you put them in your pannier to cycle home from the picnic. 

Hummusageddon.

Banana energy caramel (tested recipe)

Simple & delicious, this delightful confection will galvanize your long-distance escapades.


Ingredients:

1 banana
4 measures of energy-drink powder (maltodextrin, fructose, what-have-you)

Utensils:

1 saddlebag
1 bike lock with key sticking out (important)
1 well-aged freezer bag

Décor

1 box tyre patches
1 baseball cap
1 CO2 pump
1 roll of black tape


Procedure:

1. Put the drink powder in the well-aged freezer bag. Put this with the other ingredients, utensils & décor in the saddlebag.
2. Put the bag on the bike.
3. Ride.
4. Every 50k, leave the bike standing in the sun for 15 minutes
5. Every 100k, ditto for one hour.
6. Go home. Take bag off bike & toss in cupboard.

If this works as well for you as it did for me, the next time you open the bag you will find that:

1. The well-aged freezer bag has ruptured;
2. The key has penetrated the banana
3. The banana has been macerated by vibration & bumps
4. The resulting mousse has mixed intimately with the energy-drink powder
5. Heat and evaporation have hardened the mixture into caramel, but not before it covered every other article in proximity (the décor)
6. The well-aged freezer bag is stuck firmly to the bottom of the bag, and in wrenching it loose it tears wide open and powders everything else.

If you're lucky, you'll discover all this before your next ride. If not, at 100k from home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 25 July, 2017, 09:04:20 am
...or two weeks later.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 27 July, 2017, 06:25:36 pm
I appear to have mislaid a stem. A new stem. A new Thomson stem.  :facepalm:

So. What could be more divvy than mislaying an expensive, new, piece of bikedom? Yes, that's right. Never having received it in the first place. Yes I have been tearing the place apart, in a subdued manner.

Ruthie and I  may be related, who knew?

Through an odd series of alternative events, I now have it in my hot stickies.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 July, 2017, 06:55:45 pm
It's said that there are two hard problems in computer science:  Naming things, cache invalidation and off-by-one errors.

I've just managed to waste about an hour on account of combining both of them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 28 July, 2017, 05:22:37 pm
Having selected, cut an prepared the timber for my 2m long cupboard doors with great care and precision I now find the jig upon which they were laid for the glue to set was not quite as true as I though.  Thus I now have two beautiful but ever so slightly warped doors that are not fit for purpose.

Luckily they are only pine and I can use then for shelving.

Nevertheless, Mrs A will not be sympathetic. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 29 July, 2017, 04:18:24 pm
...a bit of hot water, a hot air gun mild persuasion and they are now unwarped.  I just need them to dry out to see if they stay like that. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 July, 2017, 05:17:23 pm
Sympathy.  I once built a dining table whose top developed a twist once the glue set.  Aggravating.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 July, 2017, 03:30:29 pm
I have burnt my face.  :(
Cooking a couple of lamb steaks on Friday.  I had put way too much oil in the pan.  When I turned one of them over it splashed full on hot oil onto my face. (Thank dog for spectacles)
"Ow", I thought, and carried on with the tasks in hand.

Should have cooled the affected areas immediately, but I didn't.  I now have a few very unsightly burn marks on various parts of the old beautiful fizzog.  And they hurt.  And they're getting worse.
Bugger
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 30 July, 2017, 06:15:15 pm
I have burnt my face.  :(
Cooking a couple of lamb steaks on Friday.  I had put way too much oil in the pan.  When I turned one of them over it splashed full on hot oil onto my face. (Thank dog for spectacles)
"Ow", I thought, and carried on with the tasks in hand.

Should have cooled the affected areas immediately, but I didn't.  I now have a few very unsightly burn marks on various parts of the old beautiful fizzog.  And they hurt.  And they're getting worse.
Bugger

Sympathy.  I did the same thing, but to my chest.  Balancing my hot chocolate on my chest while I was reading in bed I managed to spill it on my chest, right out the microwave.

I didn't realise it had made a huge blister till I scratched it the next morning and all the skin came off.

An attractive burn mark on my chest now.  It really does hurt doesn't it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 July, 2017, 06:30:16 pm
I have burnt my face.  :(
Cooking a couple of lamb steaks on Friday.  I had put way too much oil in the pan.  When I turned one of them over it splashed full on hot oil onto my face. (Thank dog for spectacles)
"Ow", I thought, and carried on with the tasks in hand.

Should have cooled the affected areas immediately, but I didn't.  I now have a few very unsightly burn marks on various parts of the old beautiful fizzog.  And they hurt.  And they're getting worse.
Bugger
IS THE MUSTACHE SAFE?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 July, 2017, 06:45:37 pm
Yes, but well oiled.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 06 August, 2017, 07:55:50 am
Model flying:
Start to rig glider in the Isle of Man and realise the tailplane is back in Hull..

Hand starting a reluctant model aero engine, flick, flick, flick (a few minutes of this..) flick, vrrrrrrrrrrrrm, flick, OW! Dagnabbit, after all that I've just stopped the thing with my finger  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 06 August, 2017, 09:01:57 am
Sanding a bridge to lower the action on my mandola. That top "looks" flat, I'll just sand it flat. There's about a 2mm curve :facepalm:  Much sanding later and it's fitted.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 06 August, 2017, 09:02:26 am
Model flying:
Hand starting a reluctant model aero engine, flick, flick, flick (a few minutes of this..) flick, vrrrrrrrrrrrrm, flick, OW! Dagnabbit, after all that I've just stopped the thing with my finger  >:(

Ah, that's OK then.  Not just me........
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 06 August, 2017, 09:43:51 am
...a bit of hot water, a hot air gun mild persuasion and they are now unwarped.  I just need them to dry out to see if they stay like that.

They didn't.  Have now taught them a lesson by making them into shelving.

And made new ones.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 06 August, 2017, 10:40:45 am
Model flying:
Hand starting a reluctant model aero engine, flick, flick, flick (a few minutes of this..) flick, vrrrrrrrrrrrrm, flick, OW! Dagnabbit, after all that I've just stopped the thing with my finger  >:(

Ah, that's OK then.  Not just me........
Rubber powered models.  It's the way forward I tell you. :)

On saving fingertips; last time I was across at Acle there was a chap starting his ICEs with a bench rigged Hucks Starter affair, sans Model T.  Seemed much safer to me.  I did wonder if it would be possible to jury-rig something similar from a cheapo battery drill.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 August, 2017, 01:35:29 pm
Stood waiting for a bus in Cyprus

Me: ooh, that looks like a prickly pear cactus, I bet they taste better than at home, they look ripe.
Wander over, wife follows
Two prickly pears later, alongside lots of "be careful" with daughter saying "why are you doing that?"
Spent most of the day since then pulling spines out of my fingers
Prickly pears tasted great though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 06 August, 2017, 04:45:29 pm
E.D. - Ouch!

Ok, sprayed myself with midge repellent from the little tin on the bookshelf. It didn't seem to smell as bad this time. Because it was shoe stretcher spray. Fortunately I did not develop bloodhound-like droopy features as a result. Something frightened the midges off, though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 August, 2017, 10:20:35 pm
On saving fingertips; last time I was across at Acle there was a chap starting his ICEs with a bench rigged Hucks Starter affair, sans Model T.  Seemed much safer to me.  I did wonder if it would be possible to jury-rig something similar from a cheapo battery drill.

Seen that done way back in the 1990s.  Cheapo battery drills are much improved since then...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 07 August, 2017, 08:15:42 am
On saving fingertips; last time I was across at Acle there was a chap starting his ICEs with a bench rigged Hucks Starter affair, sans Model T.  Seemed much safer to me.  I did wonder if it would be possible to jury-rig something similar from a cheapo battery drill.

Seen that done way back in the 1990s.  Cheapo battery drills are much improved since then...

We have electric starters now.  Motor with a big ali cup on the end, lined with a rubber insert.  Strap a 14V Lipo to it and it keeps your fingers out of the way.  I will confess, however, to restarting a dead but warm engine by hand occasionally......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 August, 2017, 10:56:46 am
Shortly after I fired up my PC this morning it made a noise like an 8" floppy drive hitting a bad sector - try saying awwwwwwwwk on a indrawn breath and you'll be close, if you don't swallow your tonsils. Whoops, I thought. Disk crash impending, I thought.  So I scheduled full checks on both my drives and restarted.  CHKDSK started on the D: drive (pictures, cycling routes & stats, web sites), and the Sound creaked out again immediately.

Half an hour later I happened to look down at the front of the machine and noticed that the illuminated fan-cum-dust-impeller, which hasn't worked for years and is superfluous anyway (dust gets in without it) was attempting to turn, and making the Sound as it did so. I could prompt it to do so by tapping it with my finger-tips: awwwwwwk every time.

You can't interrupt CHKDSK (well, you can switch off but doing that in the middle of a Process feels like sacrilege), so I sat there for the next 90 minutes watching the figures crawl round until I could dive in with a rigid digit and stop it doing C: as well.

How to waste a morning and end up feeling like a tw@.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 07 August, 2017, 02:17:32 pm
Better than losing data, thobut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 August, 2017, 03:01:15 pm
Ain't it the trooth?  I really should open the casing and disconnect the fan - it has to be doing something evil with juice flowing in the windings when the motor won't turn - but (a) it's got pretty blue lights in and (b) ICBA.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 07 August, 2017, 08:53:35 pm
We have electric starters now.  Motor with a big ali cup on the end, lined with a rubber insert...
That's the bunny.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 08 August, 2017, 09:24:19 pm
I have burnt my face.  :(
Cooking a couple of lamb steaks on Friday.  I had put way too much oil in the pan.  When I turned one of them over it splashed full on hot oil onto my face. (Thank dog for spectacles)
"Ow", I thought, and carried on with the tasks in hand.

Should have cooled the affected areas immediately, but I didn't.  I now have a few very unsightly burn marks on various parts of the old beautiful fizzog.  And they hurt.  And they're getting worse.
Bugger

Well, they did get pretty horrific looking,  but this evening the last scab came off and no scars.  :D
You'll all be pleased to hear that I am as beautiful as ever.   8)
Lopsided moustache more or less recovered too.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Morat on 11 August, 2017, 10:23:05 pm
Spent a couple of hours trying to add an iscsi NAS to our VMWare Hosts as a datastore. Just could not get it to work. After much self doubt and "But I've done this plenty of times" I eventually twigged that I had been connecting to the admin GUI on the NAS just fine but of course the target was being presented on the bonded interface on a different subnet. Which wasn't plugged in.
IDIOT!!

This is what happens when you have to take support calls while fettling stuff.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 14 August, 2017, 09:57:48 pm
Humm.

For various reasons, I've been swapping wheels between various bikes.
The wheel that came off my commuter bike was quite manky, and the cassette was very manky.
So before re-fitting the cassette to the replacement wheel, I decided to clean it up in the tray of diesel I use for such things.
The diesel is over-due for replacement, being dark black and totally opaque.

After finishing the fettling session, I go have a bath.
In the bath, I manage to convince myself I've missed the 10-spd spacer, and it's still sitting in the sludge at the bottom of the cleaning tray.
So I get dressed, go back down to the garage and guddle about in the diesel.
Nothing.

I'm now stinking of diesel again, and I've just had a bath :-(
Then I notice that a simple visual inspection of the clean wheel on the bike would have shown the spacer as present and correct, so my guddling about in dirty diesel was totally un-necessary.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 August, 2017, 10:40:18 pm
Fitting wall bracket for TV.

We want it to be able to fold away into corner, which means it needs to swing above window ledge. I bolt the bracket to the TV. Manage to hold in air one-handed so it is in 'folded' position over window ledge and mark bracket top against wall.

Unbolt TV from bracket, drill 4x10mm holes in wall, spraying dust all over room. Fit bracket to wall, bolt TV to bracket.

Then realise that bracket enables TV to swivel - and when I had it over the window ledge it wasn't horizontal. When horizontal it is now 12mm too low to fit over window ledge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 12 September, 2017, 06:19:39 pm
CBH is away again looking after her "Aged Mum" at her holiday home down in the West Country so I have been left alone with just the cats and myself to feed. The cats are easy to feed: three pieces of white fish for breakfast, a bag of frozen prawns (unfrozen of course) for lunch, three tins of cat food for whenever they are hungry and several pieces of boiled chicken for tea.

Me, well while I like cooking, frankly after a day at work, I can't be bothered to do anything complicated so I tend to live on salads, jacket potatoes and or the odd chippy supper. However, tonight I fancied a curry but rather than make it, or get a take away, I purchased some ready made stuff from Tescos which is ready to re-heat and eat. I am not a big fan of ready meal as they are expensive and normally full of salt/sugar, two things I try to avoid.

Well that was the plan.....Sadly it didn't turn out that way and my task now before I eat is to clean the Aloo Sag I dropped into the washing machine. Little did I know that the plastic container the foodstuff was held in would not take heating in the microwave, despite the fact that the cooking instructions suggested it would. I should have put the food in a bowl and used that but sadly, I wanted to avoid doing the washing up.

I think from now on until CBH returns on Friday, I will stick to salads... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 September, 2017, 06:31:45 pm
I failed to submit advance notice in writing to the Red Baron's front derailleur for use of the granny ring on a short but steep climb, jammed the chain, rolled to a stop and fell over sideways in slow motion.

One grazed elbow, no witnesses.   :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ruthie on 12 September, 2017, 06:38:05 pm
Div.   ;)

How's the Baron?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 September, 2017, 06:57:18 pm
Minor accumulation of mud on the rack bag.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 12 September, 2017, 07:59:39 pm
I was supposed to be accompanying my wife to the theatre next week. Except I appear to be doing so from seat 7A of an aeroplane. Slow painful death. It'll be worse than even BA can mete out.

I am sure I checked my calendar. Some idiot didn't account for flying out the evening before the meeting.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 12 September, 2017, 09:28:20 pm
I've just ground some fresh coffee ....... all over my kitchen floor.      I was standing there cranking away on the Porlex & wondered what I could feel landing on my bare feet....   


Top Tip , always check that you've put the receptacle cylinder thingy in place before you start grinding  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 13 September, 2017, 08:41:10 am
I failed to submit advance notice in writing to the Red Baron's front derailleur for use of the granny ring on a short but steep climb, jammed the chain, rolled to a stop and fell over sideways in slow motion.

One grazed elbow, no witnesses.   :-[

At least no witnesses.

Last time I had a heel/front wheel interface on a right hand T-juntion, it resulted in the stem slipping on the steerer and me wondering WTF? as I tried to go in a straight line.  Plenty of witnesses to the div on the funny bike
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 13 September, 2017, 10:55:56 am
Printed out a 40 page document to review on the way to work.

Font so small I couldn't read it!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 15 September, 2017, 11:23:46 am
I'm building a MIDI lighting controller. I did the prototyping with an Arduino Nano pushed into a breadboard kit and happily got the five faders and joystick working leaving one spare analogue channel.
Move on and create a smart aluminum panel with slots for the five faders and a hole for the joystick and then look at the Arduino controller that I will be using... It only has 6 analogue channels! BAH!!!!!1!!
(Note - I can't use the Nano as it doesn't allow re-programming the USB interface as a MIDI device)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 15 September, 2017, 12:23:51 pm
My Cateye Enduro computer has an auto start/stop function. I found that out this morning after changing the battery. I'v only had the thing 20 years and never noticed it before. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 19 September, 2017, 09:26:26 am
When dropping off your bicycle for a service, especially if you've had to go out of your way to do so, it is useful to leave behind the key for your PitLock skewers.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 22 September, 2017, 05:32:17 pm
I'm working on a large graphic that is overlaid on a faded out map of the world. Earlier I munched a pear. Noticing a little juice splatter mark on my screen I attempted to remove it. It wasn't coming off. So I dabbed some isopropyl alcohol on a cloth and gave it a little more vim. Still not coming off. Hmm, thinks I.

It was only then, after several seconds of hmm, that I realised I was trying to erase St Helena.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 22 September, 2017, 05:37:12 pm
I'm working on a large graphic that is overlaid on a faded out map of the world. Earlier I munched a pear. Noticing a little juice splatter mark on my screen I attempted to remove it. It wasn't coming off. So I dabbed some isopropyl alcohol on a cloth and gave it a little more vim. Still not coming off. Hmm, thinks I.

It was only then, after several seconds of hmm, that I realised I was trying to erase St Helena.
It was you, wasn't it?

Admit it, you erased Nambia from existence.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 October, 2017, 07:57:29 am
Last year I replaced my defunct cordless drill with one of Leroy Merlin's own-brand jobs that came with two batteries and cost < 60 euros. It does the job, although it has a tendency to slip into hammer mode a bit too easily.

Noticed last Thursday that the batteries seem to go flat rather quickly.  Had a closer look this morning: I thought they'd stopped making NiCads 20 years ago. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 02 October, 2017, 07:33:31 pm
Chop veggies, brown chicken bits, put in slow cooker with stock & go off to do something else.


Come back  & realise it was turned off at the wall socket.  :facepalm:       Eating late tonight then...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 03 October, 2017, 07:04:49 pm
When fettling a remote control for the TV wait until the conductive paint you have applied to the backs of the most frequently used buttons is _completely_ dry before reassembling.  Failure to do this will result in a bridged tracks on the PCB and the poor old TV* will sit there going bananas trying to respond to a high speed stream of button clicks.


*Which is a Panasonic and a piece of shit, but it doesn't deserve that kind of grief.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 05 October, 2017, 10:34:22 pm
The other day, I lost an SPD cleat. I'd not bothered stopping to sort it out, although it was obviously loose and getting more awkward to de-clip. And then, it was gone. Changed shoe the next day and found it very difficult to clip in. Odd. Oh well. Put a new cleat on the old shoe and it wasn't much better. Rode it a few days. Gave the bike into  LBS (who had built it) to sort out the brake issue (turned out to be contaminated pads #2. Apparently).

As I collected it, the mechanic handed me a bit of metal with two screws in "You lost a cleat? it was in the pedal"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 05 October, 2017, 10:44:25 pm
The other day, I lost an SPD cleat. I'd not bothered stopping to sort it out, although it was obviously loose and getting more awkward to de-clip. And then, it was gone. Changed shoe the next day and found it very difficult to clip in. Odd. Oh well. Put a new cleat on the old shoe and it wasn't much better. Rode it a few days. Gave the bike into  LBS (who had built it) to sort out the brake issue (turned out to be contaminated pads #2. Apparently).

As I collected it, the mechanic handed me a bit of metal with two screws in "You lost a cleat? it was in the pedal"
Choice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 October, 2017, 08:36:16 am
THB I felt a bit of a twit myself when I found out that the horrible rattle coming from my bike was due to a loose lock-ring on the cassette. Guess who fitted the thing in the first place.

On extenuation, I'm sure I read somewhere that you don't need to put a lot of force into tightening lock-rings because they tighten naturally as you ride. IMHO they don't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2017, 08:37:35 am
On extenuation, I'm sure I read somewhere that you don't need to put a lot of force into tightening lock-rings because they tighten naturally as you ride. IMHO they don't.

That's freewheels.  Different animal.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 October, 2017, 01:41:06 pm
Hum. 40 Nm it says on the box. Must've been freewheels I read that of, right enough.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 09 October, 2017, 03:57:09 pm
I recently bought a phone off a forum I frequent. Quite an expensive one.  It's not been delivered and the sender didn't insure it, so has been a bit stressed. Today he called and told me the problem. I'd given him the correct address (for work) and the correct postcode (for home)  ::-)

RM say it "may" be returned to him if it's not delivered by Friday.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 10 October, 2017, 10:24:34 pm
DO make sure, folks, to change at least one of the empty dual gas bottles before the Christmas dinner goes into the oven.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 10 October, 2017, 11:03:43 pm
DO make sure, folks, to change at least one of the empty dual gas bottles before the Christmas dinner goes into the oven.

Is it time to get the sprouts on already?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 11 October, 2017, 11:41:27 am
DO make sure, folks, to change at least one of the empty dual gas bottles before the Christmas dinner goes into the oven.

Is it time to get the sprouts on already?
April, traditionally.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 11 October, 2017, 11:46:34 am
I set off out the gate onto the little rural lane this morning, as dawn's rosy fingers were [enough!..Ed.]
I hadn't gone far before I hit a pothole.
"I wonder why I hadn't seen that?" I asked myself.

Aha!  Enlightenment came when I switched on my front light :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: RichForrest on 11 October, 2017, 12:51:30 pm
I set off out the gate onto the little rural lane this morning, as dawn's rosy fingers were [enough!..Ed.]

Blimey, she did well to get over that way. Strava says she only did 12km this morning  ???  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Oscar's dad on 12 October, 2017, 03:42:45 pm
Last week I realised that I had mislaid the light I attach to the top of my Magic Hat whilst riding at night.  I knew it was somewhere in the house and hunted high and low.  Today I succumbed and bought a new light at a cost of £43.  The new light requires USB charging directly from a PC but I was sure I had a charger that would work that could be plugged into the wall.  Last week I hand tidied the drawer that used to contain such items disposing of some chargers for devices long gone and putting the remainder in the bag.  I rummaged through the bag and guess what I found...?  ::-) :facepalm:

Had the new light not triggered the bag rummaging I wouldn't have found the light for a long time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 12 October, 2017, 10:33:58 pm
Worked late on Tuesday. Dark on leaving work and hadn't thought to bring light so sneaked home on quiet side roads, cycle and mixed use paths. Home safely. On parking up I remembered to grab a light for the following night.

Worked late Wednesday but luckily had light!

However, no bracket to fit it to.

 :facepalm:

Cycled home with light held in hand

 ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 13 October, 2017, 02:24:22 pm
The value of a dynamo...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 20 October, 2017, 11:24:30 pm
I've just found my tyre levers in the boot of the car, which means I've spent all week commuting with spare tubes, a patch kit and a pump, but no way of removing the tyres to use them :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 20 October, 2017, 11:58:49 pm
The value of a dynamo...
???
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 October, 2017, 12:04:27 am
The value of a dynamo...
???

That you don't have to think to bring lights (or their brackets), just switch them on.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 21 October, 2017, 12:57:23 am
Building a 2x10 29er, transmission, hmmm... Got a LH 2 speed SRAM X7 trigger, OK we'll get a matching RH. So far so good. Next, rear derailleur, need an X7. <click>

Assemble all the bits this evening, add cassette & chain, crank it up. Derailleur won't go all the way down to 1st. Got all the clicks on the shifter and the cable is correctly routed. Check **EVERYTHING**. Twice. Still won't. Scrabble in the bin for the packaging hoping to find the instructions in case I've done something dumb.

Yep, I've done something dumb. Bought a 10sp shifter and a 9sp derailleur. No, I didn't know either. Arse . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 21 October, 2017, 10:36:03 am
Fitted a X5 10sp rear mech this morning. Everything functions as it should.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 21 October, 2017, 12:04:26 pm
You need more sleep (and possibly scones).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 October, 2017, 04:59:30 pm
"Time for tea" said Mr Larrington.  He put the oven into pre-heat mode and went off to Do Things.  When the oven went "ping" (very quietly — see grumbles passim) he put a couple of the finest breaded fishy things that Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles has to offer into an oven dish, placed the said dish in the oven and went off to Do More Things.

Some time later, Mr Larrington's nostrils are assailed by a diabolical ronk, as of a garlic powder-fuelled explosion in a tyre factory.  He goes to investigate and finds a thick pall of smoke pouring from the oven.  On opening the door of same the Chips Room immediately resembles the Columbia River Gorge when Mr Larrington was there last month viz., invisible behind the choking miasma of particulates filling the atmostale.  He cannot actually reach the fridge without both breathing apparatus and a guide dog.

Investigation shews that Mr Larrington, fecking div that he be, has pressed the "Grill/Combi" button instead of the "Convection" one, thereby cremating his nosh beyond recognition and making the whole of Larrington Towers stink most vilely of fish.  Verily, 'tis now the piece of cod which passeth all understanding, and is awaiting disposal once I find the gear I normally wear when dumping radioactive waste in John Redwood's garden.

Hungry now :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 21 October, 2017, 05:04:27 pm
I did that once with our old oven and ended up with a half carbon/half raw calzone that I'd spent hours making.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 October, 2017, 05:09:56 pm
The radioactive codpiece sounds like a deadly device out of a Dan Brown novel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 21 October, 2017, 05:11:05 pm
The great advantage of being unable to exceed the pace of a snail is that I cannot abandon the oven.

Two minutes of extra time never really hurts. Oven is but two cubits from my seat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 21 October, 2017, 05:12:33 pm
Take away, it is then...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 October, 2017, 05:15:10 pm
This is similar to the process through which Mustard Gas Chicken was invented.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 October, 2017, 08:54:06 pm
Mrs ElyDave did that once, set oven to grill, inserted crumble, much burning later left top of crumble carbonised, middle of crumble raw.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 October, 2017, 10:35:44 am
Wondered why the slow puncture I patched yesterday was flat again today - pinched when remounting, second hole???

Nope. I had simply put the patch beside the hole instead of on it. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 23 October, 2017, 10:21:02 am
The value of a dynamo...
???
Sorry to confuse.  I am a bit absent-minded, but having a hub dynamo means that my light is permanently attached to the bike, ad even I can't lose it!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 23 October, 2017, 11:55:08 am
I did that once with our old oven and ended up with a half carbon/half raw calzone that I'd spent hours making.

I did the opposite (and not for the first time) which explains why my tea on Friday night took twice as long. The defrost setting isn't very good for getting the oven hot. I'm not, tbh, sure why my oven needs about dozen different settings (there's three for the bloody fan, for heaven's sake) other than to ensure I select the wrong one and wander off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 24 October, 2017, 12:33:19 pm
Building a 2x10 29er, transmission, hmmm... Got a LH 2 speed SRAM X7 trigger, OK we'll get a matching RH. So far so good. Next, rear derailleur, need an X7. <click>

Assemble all the bits this evening, add cassette & chain, crank it up. Derailleur won't go all the way down to 1st. Got all the clicks on the shifter and the cable is correctly routed. Check **EVERYTHING**. Twice. Still won't. Scrabble in the bin for the packaging hoping to find the instructions in case I've done something dumb.

Yep, I've done something dumb. Bought a 10sp shifter and a 9sp derailleur. No, I didn't know either. Arse . . .

Sorry Tors, I shouldn't be laffing but...........
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 October, 2017, 04:32:28 pm
Yes, you should. The trick is not to do it again . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Oaky on 24 October, 2017, 05:01:22 pm
The first bit of this tale sounds like it belongs in the grumble thread, but bear with it, the divviness will soon become clear.

Today I had to go for a blood test.  My appointment was at 10:50, and I duly cycle over to ${SURGERY}, ~5 minutes before time and check in.  The receptionist looks at me as if I'm mad (leading me to wonder if I've turned up a month early or something equally divvy).

'That's at ${OTHER_SURGERY}' said the receptionist, handing me a printout of the Google maps directions between ${SURGERY} and ${OTHER_SURGERY}.

This crucial fact hadn't been mentioned when I booked the appointment, or in the SMS confirmation (which stated ${SURGERY}), or in the systmonline listing of my appointments which also states Location: ${SURGERY}.

Anyhow,  I hop back on my bike and race round to ${OTHER_SURGERY} (just over a mile),  where I present my sweaty self to the phlebotomist, apologising profusely for being late for my appointment.

'Do you have your paperwork?', she asked...

'...errr... no, sorry,  its still on my noticeboard at home  :facepalm:', I replied, sheepishly.

There being only 30 minutes left of the phlebotomist session, I got back on the bike and sprinted the 3 mile round trip to home and back to ${OTHER_SURGERY}, making it back in a sweaty mess, clutching my all-important bloodwork form and finally managed to get bled.

Still,  my eleveated heart rate seemed to help in jetting the blood out into the containers.  And I got a bit of exercise in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 28 October, 2017, 10:35:51 am
Master fettler, me

(https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hnauBJxcZUw/WfRPMn0ifYI/AAAAAAABD2o/mn48IaQSZqw0-TqebK3Mifi0f1QJzQLGQCKgBGAs/s640/IMG_20171028_102326.jpg)

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 28 October, 2017, 10:37:47 am
Your bike appears to be up side down.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 October, 2017, 10:43:25 am
I've just realised I've paid £99.90 to NOW TV for a service I never used after the free 3 months.  I genuinely thought I'd cancelled it via the box itself (I'm pretty careful with these things and expect them to be scams) but they silently take money via debit card without notifying you, and the amounts are small enough that you don't spot them unless you're unusually rigorous (or still get paper bank statements).  This is their business model.  Avoid.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 October, 2017, 03:35:28 pm
We took out a subscription to Now TV so we could watch GoT (and other things). Then discovered that it only kept about 3 episodes available at a time. So the first few episodes of the season weren't available . . .
Must remind MrsC to terminate it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 31 October, 2017, 11:18:16 am
Oh hell I just remembered I put some very smelly cheese in the overflow fridge (contains only white wine and beer except at Christmas or if we are having a party) in the garage after Mrs Pcolbeck complained it was stinking the kitchen out - about six weeks ago. I may have to find a cloths peg for my nose before opening the fridge to deal with it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 31 October, 2017, 12:42:43 pm
Oh hell I just remembered I put some very smelly cheese in the overflow fridge (contains only white wine and beer except at Christmas or if we are having a party) in the garage after Mrs Pcolbeck complained it was stinking the kitchen out - about six weeks ago. I may have to find a cloths peg for my nose before opening the fridge to deal with it.

I can get you a gas mask and NBC suit if you think it might be necessary
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 October, 2017, 01:38:01 pm
Oh hell I just remembered I put some very smelly cheese in the overflow fridge (contains only white wine and beer except at Christmas or if we are having a party) in the garage after Mrs Pcolbeck complained it was stinking the kitchen out - about six weeks ago. I may have to find a cloths peg for my nose before opening the fridge to deal with it.

When I left one French company the development held a farewell piss-up, in course of which a chum passed me a packet of scampi "because you won't feel much like cooking afterwards".  It being a warm evening, I nipped into the boss's office, put it in his hospitality fridge, and promptly forgot about it.

I later heard that since the fridge's only function was to cool drinks down it was on a timer that switched it off over the weekend. Piss-up, of course, was on a Friday.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 31 October, 2017, 05:45:52 pm
Oh hell I just remembered I put some very smelly cheese in the overflow fridge (contains only white wine and beer except at Christmas or if we are having a party) in the garage after Mrs Pcolbeck complained it was stinking the kitchen out - about six weeks ago. I may have to find a cloths peg for my nose before opening the fridge to deal with it.

I can get you a gas mask and NBC suit if you think it might be necessary

NSFW thread for fetish stuff is THAT WAY ->
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 31 October, 2017, 07:01:05 pm
One of my school friends, having found a way to avoid a home economics lesson, left his ingredients (which included eggs) in a locker for an entire year. When that was discovered we all had to go stand in the playground for 30 minutes while the smell dissipated.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 02 November, 2017, 01:14:03 pm
Ops......

CBH has just phoned to inform me that her rich, cat loving uncle has just died.

Reflecting back: "I don't suppose he will leave us anything in his will" was not the right reply to this sad news  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 02 November, 2017, 01:36:24 pm
Ops......

CBH has just phoned to inform me that her rich, cat loving uncle has just died.

Reflecting back: "I don't suppose he will leave us anything in his will" was not the right reply to this sad news  :facepalm:

Pussy Galore?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 02 November, 2017, 02:07:38 pm
I have plenty of time to get to dentist. It takes 20min to get there, I have 40. Check bike tyres, front is very soft. Pump it up. Ride to dentist, get there 20min early. Front tyre is very soft again . . .
Oh bu&&er
It's my town bike, so of course I don't have pump, tube or patches with me.

Post dental poking and prodding, I walk to train station to go to work - it is 2miles.

Could have fixed that at home in 10min. I was waiting 20min for the dentist.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 07 November, 2017, 06:05:59 pm
If you are ordering a new quill stem for your bike with a 1" headset, make sure you check the diameter of the quill is 22.2mm, not 25.4 mm :facepalm:

Today's message is brought to you by your "buy stupid, buy twice" Cumbrian correspondant :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 November, 2017, 08:37:53 am
"Measure, measure, cut" springs to mind.  Or "measure... measure..???... CU*T ! ! !" in the present case.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 11 November, 2017, 08:56:51 pm
Today was the first outing for my Walz wool cap this winter...

...I've just found it in the load I removed from the washing machine.   :facepalm:


Watch this space to see whether we're going to have to line assorted forumites' children up for a cinderella who's-got-a-sufficiently-small-head competition again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 11 November, 2017, 09:05:39 pm
Today was the first outing for my Walz wool cap this winter...

...I've just found it in the load I removed from the washing machine.   :facepalm:


Watch this space to see whether we're going to have to line assorted forumites' children up for a cinderella who's-got-a-sufficiently-small-head competition again.


The solution is surely to wear it until it's dry, so it can't shrink too much....  (keep sharp scissors handy in case you hear your skull creaking)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 11 November, 2017, 11:39:14 pm
wondering why my brakes felt a bit spongy this morning, until I remembered I'd had both wheels out last weekend.  I'd only ridden 25km with the front calliper on the open position.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 14 November, 2017, 10:00:24 am
Hotplates that have had coffee pots on them for the las 45 minutes are bloody hot. The blister on the end of my right-hand forefinger is going to make life a bit difficult for a day or two :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: lahoski on 14 November, 2017, 01:58:07 pm
Hotplates that have had coffee pots on them for the las 45 minutes are bloody hot. The blister on the end of my right-hand forefinger is going to make life a bit difficult for a day or two :facepalm:

I nonchalantly put my hand behind me to lean on the counter top once at a party whilst engaged in a wholly inappropriate conversation with someone I really shouldn't have but really rather wanted to. Except it wasn't a counter top. It was the hot plate of an electric cooker.

It ruined the mood.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 14 November, 2017, 02:05:43 pm
A Delboy momemt!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 November, 2017, 07:28:17 pm
10/10 for dropping off my repeat prescription at the chemist's in Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles last week.

0/10 for forgetting to pick up my meds this week :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 14 November, 2017, 09:56:09 pm
Hotplates that have had coffee pots on them for the las 45 minutes are bloody hot. The blister on the end of my right-hand forefinger is going to make life a bit difficult for a day or two :facepalm:

I nonchalantly put my hand behind me to lean on the counter top once at a party whilst engaged in a wholly inappropriate conversation with someone I really shouldn't have but really rather wanted to. Except it wasn't a counter top. It was the hot plate of an electric cooker.

It ruined the mood.

I broke my little finger at a party, leaning back against the counter, feet slipped out under me on wet tiles, tried to stop myself and caught my hand on the cupboard handle on the way down.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2017, 10:05:02 pm
Today was the first outing for my Walz wool cap this winter...

...I've just found it in the load I removed from the washing machine.   :facepalm:


Watch this space to see whether we're going to have to line assorted forumites' children up for a cinderella who's-got-a-sufficiently-small-head competition again.

Bad news for the younger generation: It appears to still be Kim-sized.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 14 November, 2017, 10:44:49 pm
Today was the first outing for my Walz wool cap this winter...

...I've just found it in the load I removed from the washing machine.   :facepalm:


Watch this space to see whether we're going to have to line assorted forumites' children up for a cinderella who's-got-a-sufficiently-small-head competition again.

Bad news for the younger generation: It appears to still be Kim-sized.   :thumbsup:

 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Most kids' heads (not faces) aren't much smaller than adults anyway. The skull does much growing in infancy but little thereafter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2017, 10:48:09 pm
Most kids' heads (not faces) aren't much smaller than adults anyway. The skull does much growing in infancy but little thereafter.

This was demonstrated with the last one, where it got handed to younger and younger children until SmallestCub ended up with it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 14 November, 2017, 10:52:23 pm
Vague recall of  approximate head circumferences:
30cm birth
45cm 1 year
50cm 2 year

55 cm adult woman
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 November, 2017, 10:54:27 pm
I recently bought 2 new caps (tweed flat style).  The 59cm one is a little too snug, the 60cm is a tad too loose & has blown off in wind once already   :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2017, 11:01:13 pm
My steel tape measure suggests my head circumference is about 57cm.  Shrink a couple of inches off that and it sounds about right for a 3yo.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 15 November, 2017, 02:09:22 pm
60 cm is large, even for a man.

In the Good Old Days, hats, including school berets and caps, were supplied in ⅛ inch increments.

6⅜" fitted a 5 year old (approx) and 6⅞" an 11 year old... 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 November, 2017, 02:27:24 pm
ISTR that back when was a motorcyclist my helmet size was 56cm. I expect that varies from manufacturer to manufacturer though and with personal preference.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Greenbank on 16 November, 2017, 07:52:06 am
"Measure, measure, cut" springs to mind.  Or "measure... measure..???... CU*T ! ! !" in the present case.

"Measure once, buy twice"

Today's ISAFD moment: I looked and thought about posting in the Lift the Lid subforum.

What was I thinking!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 16 November, 2017, 04:00:45 pm
Just fitted a new front derailleur cable, set the indexing then reached under the BB to trim the excess cable. Snip. SPAAAANG! as the cage hit the inner stop.

Oh, well. it's only a cable...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 16 November, 2017, 04:21:30 pm
"Measure, measure, cut" springs to mind.  Or "measure... measure..???... CU*T ! ! !" in the present case.

"Measure once, buy twice"

Today's ISAFD moment: I looked and thought about posting in the Lift the Lid subforum.

What was I thinking!

From observation of previous home-owners' attempts at carpentry in my house:

"Measure once, use Birmingham screwdriver and/or bigger nails to fit."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 16 November, 2017, 04:37:11 pm
...but I measured it three times and it's still TOO FECKIN' SHORT!!!!!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 16 November, 2017, 06:59:09 pm
"Measure, measure, cut" springs to mind.  Or "measure... measure..???... CU*T ! ! !" in the present case.

"Measure once, buy twice"

Today's ISAFD moment: I looked and thought about posting in the Lift the Lid subforum.

What was I thinking!

From observation of previous home-owners' attempts at carpentry in my house:

"Measure once, use Birmingham screwdriver and/or bigger nails to fit."

As yesterday was the 18th anniversary of my acquiring the keys to this address, I will point out that the inch/centimetre markings on the spirit level I bought did not correspond to those on the tape measures...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 17 November, 2017, 08:32:27 am
They obviously went to Guy's School of DIY - If it don't fit 'it lt wiv a 'ammer
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 17 November, 2017, 05:17:43 pm
And if it still don't fit, find a bigger hammer
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 17 November, 2017, 07:59:17 pm
Thankfully, we realised the inaccuracy of the spit level's graduations before any Disaster occurred.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 November, 2017, 02:37:04 pm
Heigh ho.  The fluorescents in my office not having worked all morning, and having forked out 47€ on a new LED replacement yesterday, I decided to install the thing this afternoon. As a prelude to taking the old one down I undid the casing, took the tubes out and popped out the plate that carries the tube-holders.  As I did so, the live wire slid coyly out of the terminal block. It wasn't clamped in by the wee screw.

Fecking div moment #1.

I backed the screw out, tidied up the end of the wire and shoved it in again, tightened the screw down on it and gave it a tug to make sure it was anchored. Reassembled the unit, switched on and it worked. Yo! (But 47€ spent on nowt... well, it can go in the cellar.)  Put away tools & hop-up, got myself a cuppa and sat down at my machine.  The light went out.

Fecking div moment #2.

A while later it came on again, and so far it's stayed on.  Watch this space.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 November, 2017, 06:25:42 pm
Um - did you check how tight the screws were on the other wires?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 November, 2017, 08:44:08 am
Good thought, but yes.  But I think I might disconnect the lot anyway and tin the ends of the cable before I reconnect it - it's multistrand rather than the more usual single-strand used for domestic cabling.  Overhead soldering, though - fun & games, right over my desk. Don't worry, I'll put a bag over my head.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 November, 2017, 12:10:57 pm
Good thought, but yes.  But I think I might disconnect the lot anyway and tin the ends of the cable before I reconnect it - it's multistrand rather than the more usual single-strand used for domestic cabling.  Overhead soldering, though - fun & games, right over my desk. Don't worry, I'll put a bag over my head.

Bad idea.  Solder is great for stopping things fraying, but it makes the wires-working-loose-in-terminal-blocks problem worse, as it deforms plastically when clamped.

Twisting the strands together to make them manageable, and doing the screw up bastard tight ought to be sufficient.  If you want to be posh about it you can use crimp-on lugs, but probably not with standard choc-blocks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 November, 2017, 01:47:34 pm
Glad it's a bad idea, I was't looking forward to it.  Thinking back, I rather think the cable that comes out of the ceiling is single-strand, and that there's a length of 3-core multi connected to it via a block - i.e. 6 connexions to come loose.  Of course, it could just be that the ballast is going west.  The on/off behaviour smacks of heat problems.

I think I'll put up the new unit and muck about with this one on a bench, then either fix or junk it according to cost.  It'll be damn funny, though, if the new one starts to misbehave. If that happens I'll start looking for mice in the loft.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CrinklyLion on 19 November, 2017, 04:57:33 pm
Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 November, 2017, 05:01:27 pm
I saw the friendface thread.  That's a fairly spectacular injury for a minor incident, even by your standards.   :o

GWS, and well done to SmallestCub for being sensible in an emergency.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 19 November, 2017, 05:13:49 pm
Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.

Ouch! Heal quickly
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CrinklyLion on 19 November, 2017, 06:30:43 pm
Apparently I've managed, quite unusually, to get an injury that looks more impressive in a camera phone pic that real life so my next door neighbour was quite relieved when she returned the SmallestCub from his inpromptu day out with the SmallestSuperheroNextDoor, also bringing All The Painkillers, and I looked surprisingly human....

https://twitter.com/CrinklyLion/status/932267028282519552/photo/1 for gory pics!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 19 November, 2017, 07:01:49 pm
Thinking about this, yours is the kind of injury I saw rather more in toddlers than adults though I did sew up an adult cyclist who had made close contact with a handlebar...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CrinklyLion on 19 November, 2017, 07:50:00 pm
Toddlers - small friendly grumpy enthusiastic tired humans, fundamentally a bit incompetent at staying upright and walking in straight lines.  Yeah... that makes sense :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 19 November, 2017, 08:13:39 pm
I was supposed to cut the cake ...    :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 19 November, 2017, 09:20:50 pm
Ouch Kat !  I was just logging on to report my own minor bumpage & see you've well beaten me in the damage stakes.   Glad you are OK & GWS.


Riding up to my parents on the drop barred tourer I noticed my front brake was rubbing.  Thr brake lever was slightly out of alignment so I straightened it up with a tug & rode on.


On the return trip all was OK until I got to the steep downhill bit just before my flat.  The lever must have shifted again when I pulled it & the front brake locked up completely, luckily I was more or less stopped but still went headfirst over the bars  :facepalm:


Damage to bike,  I've lost a rear light, not checked properly yet.  Damage to self,  seems to be restricted to a bruised left knee.  I may have some more aches in the morning though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 November, 2017, 08:26:57 am
Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.
Has eldest cub made up for the not noticing anything yet? Maybe by cleaning up the claret from the floor?

mouth injuries bleed impressively but also heal very fast
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 November, 2017, 09:45:11 am
Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.

Arrgh! GWS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: De Sisti on 20 November, 2017, 10:03:55 am
Heigh ho.  The fluorescents in my office not having worked all morning,,,
Home office?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 21 November, 2017, 09:44:30 am
Good thought, but yes.  But I think I might disconnect the lot anyway and tin the ends of the cable before I reconnect it - it's multistrand rather than the more usual single-strand used for domestic cabling.  Overhead soldering, though - fun & games, right over my desk. Don't worry, I'll put a bag over my head.

That's OK, we only keep bags away from small children.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 22 November, 2017, 07:17:12 pm
I don't do DIY for a reason. A very good reason. It's a bad idea. It's bad ideas condensed into neutron stars of stupid. But sometimes, when there's no adults around, I try. Like the radiator in the bathroom. It's stopped getting hot. I think I saw a grown-up fix such a thing. I might have imagined it. Anyway, the little valve on the bottom was stuck. So I got my trusty spanner and gave it a twist. A bit more of twist.

Anyway, anyone want a bit of broken copper cheese? Because that's evidently what it was.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 22 November, 2017, 07:44:50 pm
Are you allowed out on your own...?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 22 November, 2017, 07:54:43 pm
To be fair, I don't think it's entirely my fault, it was a teeny spanner and I'm not exactly The Hulk. I suppose it'll need a proper grown-up to come fix it and make it go hot again so I don't have to warm the bathroom by leaving the door wide open.

But generally I'm only allowed out on my if I have my badge with name and if-found-please-return-to address on it. My wife made it for me. Hold on, that's not even our address.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 22 November, 2017, 07:59:54 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 23 November, 2017, 10:35:00 pm
Probably even more divvy, but I realised after I'd turned all the radiators off that it's on the magic bathroom circuit and hasn't been working when it's the only radiator that should be on (to dry the towels). Probably some kind of valvage.

May as well call out BG, god knows I pay them a small fortune every month. ("Yes, he does," said God, when asked about the matter earlier.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 25 November, 2017, 11:01:56 am
Last weekend Mrs Tween asked me to fettle the hot tap in the upstairs bathroom as it wouldn't turn on more than a dribble (again). Isolation valve off, remove guts of tap, clean, spot of red grease, reassemble, open isolation valve, sorted. Apart from, naturally, the multitudinous further fiddling with the isolation valve to get the damn thing to stop weeping.

Fast forward to midweek, I'm away at work & MT informs me all the downstairs lights have gone off. She heard a loud buzzing noise from downstairs before they went off.

Thursday night arriving home I reset the breaker, checked round the house and everthing seemed fine. SET watchful_mode = True.

02:30 today odd noises downstairs.  Remove mouse from cat & put outside (the mouse, putting the cat out would invite a repeat; cat flap is in only)
03:00 more odd noises downstairs. Check location of all cats - not guilty. Wander round and observe blue flashing & bzzzt noises from the off downstairs bathroom light.  Flick breaker off & retire.

Whilt utilising the lower comode at a time approaching civilised hour observe brown stain around the prevously flashy light fitting.  I don't recall that staining, I wonder wonder if theres pipes above that spot...


Loud clang heard across south Gloustershire as Ningi sized penny drops.


Not just pipes, a basin.  A basin with a known to be leaky isolation valve* recently disturbed by me.  Carefully remove glass shade from light fitting and pour away the water therein.
For added Div points I even keep some tissue wrapped around the pipe as a tell tale, I could have known what was going on within seconds of walking in the door Thursday night. I could have asked MT to check the tissue for dampness in the week. I could have checked it myself at oh my god o'clock Monday morning.  I could have checked & fiddled with the isolation valve the required number of times to complete the job properly or even GAMI to change it.  If i only had a brane.

* Is there any other kind?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 November, 2017, 01:23:00 pm
In another story of plumbery from long ago, the Inlaw Paw put a bucket under the U-bend from the kitchen sink, unscrewed the plug and let the accumulated gleh & foul water out.  He then handed the bucket to his ever-loving to dispose of.  When he was back in under preparing to put the plug in again she emptied it down the sink.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 25 November, 2017, 01:24:38 pm
In another story of plumbery from long ago, the Inlaw Paw put a bucket under the U-bend from the kitchen sink, unscrewed the plug and let the accumulated gleh & foul water out.  He then handed the bucket to his ever-loving to dispose of.  When he was back in under preparing to put the plug in again she emptied it down the sink.

This is an old plumbing tradition that doesn't usually require an assistant.  I've only done it about three times (usually the washing of hands in a trap-free sink, rather than actually emptying the bucket).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 30 November, 2017, 12:51:53 pm
Buying one item from M&S, using a self-service till with a temporary notice that only card payments could be used, no cash.

Opened my wallet to take out a payment card, another card fell out and disappeared down a narrow gap in the top of the machine. When I managed to lift the top of the scanner, an assistant rushed up to see what was going on. She opened up the machine and looked inside, but no sign of my card. Another assistant appeared, who managed to spot it by peering down from above, and lifted it using a plastic fork but couldn't get hold of it. I whipped out my penknife and managed to retrieve it.

Mutual congrats all round for teamwork  :)

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 December, 2017, 09:38:44 pm
Managed to coax myself out of the house this afternoon to go for a ride, despite it being flipping freezing out there. Stopped at my favourite café for a coffee and cake and was generally feeling pretty pleased with myself.

Nearly didn't make it home alive.

Basically, I failed to give way when crossing a lane. Rode straight across the path of a fast approaching van. If I'd been half a second later or he'd been half a second earlier....

Totally my own fault and a big lesson in the dangers of complacency - I've crossed that junction something in the region of a million times and that's quite possibly the very first time I've ever encountered another road user coming up the lane. Could easily have been the last too.  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 05 December, 2017, 09:58:15 pm
Phew. Eight lives to go.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 December, 2017, 11:47:37 pm
Phew. Eight lives to go.

I suspect I've used up a few more over the years. Not sure how many I've got left, but I don't think I can afford to take too many more chances.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 06 December, 2017, 08:36:41 am
Glad you're still with us, ya big daftie!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 December, 2017, 09:02:43 am
Oof. Glad you missed each other.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 06 December, 2017, 09:57:11 pm
Every year for many, many years I have managed our (OK, Mrs Ham's) christmas card list by computer. For the past many years, I print off the last year's list for checking and amending, before printing onto labels. Using Microsoft Word, and 2x7 labels in a laser printer.

I start the process. Go to print, out of paper. Open the tray, yes, out of paper. Fill up. Still error. Open doors look for paper. None. Power down printer. Power up printer. Nope. Hmmm. Low toner light is flashing. Go through procedure to reset, including rolled trouser legs and secret handshakes. Still offline. OK. Restart everything. Nope. Printer reset, prints test page. OK, Microsoft, I'm coming for you. PoKe around settings for a while. Delete drivers. Restart. Reinstall. No, still no go. Mind you, I can now print from other programs.

Remember then, that paper size is "A4 labels" with "manual feed". That's where it will never even try to suck up a piece of paper. Change and it bursts into life. Then remember doing the same last year.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 06 December, 2017, 10:33:54 pm
 ::-)  ;D
BTDT.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 10 December, 2017, 06:57:27 pm
Spend two hours clearing 4" of snow from communal drive.

Spread rock salt.

Ah. No.  That wasn't rock salt. That was (fence) post concrete. Oh well it'll improve the durability of the shared drive.

Moral:  When storing concrete and rock salt do not put the packs in identical poly sacks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 11 December, 2017, 08:59:24 am
Oops.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 11 December, 2017, 09:09:29 am
I very nearly did the same last winter but spotted my mistake in time. Easily done!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 December, 2017, 07:58:01 am
I have just one old client who depends on me to renew his web hosting every year.  This year I suggested trimming back his disk space to a smaller offer, saving him a whole 29€ for the year. He said sure. Then I went for a ride and totally forgot about it.  His site expired this morning and I had to renew it at the full price, then send him the invoice and offer to pay the difference myself. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 December, 2017, 01:43:33 pm
Long ago I put an extractor fan into the Inlaw Paw's private bog and wired it into the light circuit.  We already have a big extractor up in the roof with trunks coming in from the bathroom, downstairs loo & kitchen. The one from the downstairs loo ran up through casing in the corner of his loo, so it was simple to cut into this and plumb his extractor into it.

First time he used it, the effluvium poured down the extraction trunk and filled the downstairs loo. ??? :(  The main extractor only switches on from the kitchen so of course there was no updraught.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 04 January, 2018, 09:01:05 pm
I've just spent 10 minutes clearing a solder bridge between two adjacent pins on an integrated circuit before realising that they are connected together anyhow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 05 January, 2018, 06:12:03 am
BTDTGTTS  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 January, 2018, 12:51:12 pm
I did exactly this with a couple of NC pins the other day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 January, 2018, 01:27:05 pm
Its when you realise that you've just cleared the solder 'bridge' of the underlying track between two pins that you wonder if you should really be allowed so close to such a dangerous implement as a hot soldering iron  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 January, 2018, 01:53:02 pm
I looked out of the kitchen window this morning to see my bike staring back at me, left out in the back yard overnight after yesterday's ride.

good thing rural Cambridgeshire is fairly low on petty crime.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 January, 2018, 02:11:13 pm
Bike theft is not "petty" crime!  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 January, 2018, 03:52:28 pm
Bike theft is not "petty" crime!  :o

Nicking it while locked up in town, I agree. Taking advantage of my fuckwittery, I would have to share the blame

Perhaps opportunistic was a better word
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: thing1 on 07 January, 2018, 02:26:58 pm
Just very-nearly blew up my USA->UK mains transformer on first time of using it (in UK).  Plugged it in without first checking the input voltage selector which was of course still set to 110V rather than 240V.
Loud Bang and a release of magic smoke and one of the house breakers tripped. Thought it was a goner, but with a bit of poking around inside the case I realized it was only the (pointless) built-in 5V USB regulator that had melted down. I disconnected it completely and powered back up and it still seems to be working fine.  Now drinking my first UK latte made using my 110V espresso machine. Close one!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 07 January, 2018, 04:15:33 pm
Went to Aldi on the Sunday afternoon before the start of term.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 12 January, 2018, 01:30:48 pm
Text message exchange:
Husband to me: I've been offered a place in <blah> race (he was on the waiting list). It's the Sunday after next.
Me to him: We've got something on that day, haven't we? What is it?
Him: It's my Birthday...
 :facepalm:

Fortunately I have form in this area. He's probably quite impressed that I remembered we had "something" on.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 January, 2018, 02:31:33 pm
El Presidente's wife takes the opposite tack: he can't go for a ride on his birthday because she invites the family.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 16 January, 2018, 11:36:48 pm
After over a week of overcast, last night I got to play with my new eyepieces for my tellingscope. One of them is a 2" behemoth so I took the 1.25" adaptor out and inserted said behemoth. Lined up on the Orion Nebula and........ PANIC :o New EP won't focus.

Much cursing and adjusting and still nothing but a blur.  I start to remove the EP continuing to curse and fume but notice that, just as the EP leaves the scope, focus is achieved. After much head scratching I remember the 2" EP adaptor that came with the scope.....

 :facepalm: and verily   :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 23 January, 2018, 10:46:32 am
When adding all the ingredients to the bread maker one should really check to make sure that one has installed the mixer paddle first ...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 26 January, 2018, 01:09:23 pm
1)  I'm not new to this cycling lark.  I've ridden audaxen (even manged SR), I tour, and commute regularly.  One would expect me to be suitably equipped.  Hah!  Last night on the trip home my chain snapped.  No problem, will fix with a kwik-link, think I.  Except I had no such thing in my tool kit.  (This goes nicely with having the wrong sized tube when my rear tyre went flat last month.)

2) I walked the 2km back from whence I had come to leave my bike and hop on the Tube (closer than the closest station which would allow a bicycle).  I open up my wallet to get my Oyster card and ... no card.  I forgot to put it back into my wallet after its most recent usage.  A single ticket cost nearly double what I would have paid with the Oyster!

And that, I thought, would be it.

3) Looking at the busted chain I see it split at the kwik-link - one half of it is still there.  If I had taken a look and seen this last night I could have hunted around for the other half in hopes that it hadn't broken, but the link had somehow just come undone, thus allowing me to cycle home.

 :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2018, 01:13:44 pm
3) Looking at the busted chain I see it split at the kwik-link - one half of it is still there.  If I had taken a look and seen this last night I could have hunted around for the other half in hopes that it hadn't broken, but the link had somehow just come undone, thus allowing me to cycle home.

I've never had a chain 'break' anywhere else, and other than the most recent occasion (where it happened in the middle of a Big Scary Roundabout), I've always managed to retrieve the pingfuckit.  Obviously if you're *not* carrying a suitable replacement, your chances of finding it are greatly reduced.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 26 January, 2018, 01:58:37 pm
I carry a chain tool for this reason. In 20+ years of carrying it I've only used it once on the road, and that was for someone else.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2018, 02:17:30 pm
I carry a chain tool for this reason. In 20+ years of carrying it I've only used it once on the road, and that was for someone else.

There's a chain tool on my multi-tool.  Some genius designed it so it can only be used to break, rather than make a chain.   :facepalm:

I know that quicklinks are greatly preferred for modern chains, but bodgily joining a chain is certainly preferable to a long walk home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 26 January, 2018, 02:19:31 pm
Remembers The Tunnels Ride.......  curls up in a ball in the corner of his office & starts moaning .... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 26 January, 2018, 02:23:49 pm
Remembers The Tunnels Ride.......  curls up in a ball in the corner of his office & starts moaning .... :facepalm:

That was, erm, interesting.   :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2018, 02:34:22 pm
Took me a moment to remember which particular one you were referring to (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=75508.msg1584891#msg1584891).  Possibly because your repeated chain repairs (and associated loss of gear range) didn't actually impact the average speed of the ride significantly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 January, 2018, 03:22:58 pm
When adding all the ingredients to the bread maker one should really check to make sure that one has installed the mixer paddle first ...
I've done that. Results in an inedible mess. I've also on one occasion added all the ingredients except... the yeast. That resulted in something actually eatable but best described as a brick of flat bread!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2018, 03:25:51 pm
The mixer paddle's been stuck in our breadmaker since a few months after we bought it.  Takes a bit of ultra-violence to make the loaf come out, but it's fine.

Forgetting the yeast is how you make dwarf bread (https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Dwarf_Bread).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 26 January, 2018, 03:48:01 pm

2) I walked the 2km back from whence I had come to leave my bike and hop on the Tube (closer than the closest station which would allow a bicycle).  I open up my wallet to get my Oyster card and ... no card.  I forgot to put it back into my wallet after its most recent usage.  A single ticket cost nearly double what I would have paid with the Oyster!
 :(
At the risk of giving egg sucking lessons, a contactless bank card can be used in lieu of an Oyster card, getting Oyster style pricing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 26 January, 2018, 06:08:23 pm
Took me a moment to remember which particular one you were referring to (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=75508.msg1584891#msg1584891).  Possibly because your repeated chain repairs (and associated loss of gear range) didn't actually impact the average speed of the ride significantly.

That's because I was riding it  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 26 January, 2018, 10:22:22 pm

2) I walked the 2km back from whence I had come to leave my bike and hop on the Tube (closer than the closest station which would allow a bicycle).  I open up my wallet to get my Oyster card and ... no card.  I forgot to put it back into my wallet after its most recent usage.  A single ticket cost nearly double what I would have paid with the Oyster!
 :(
At the risk of giving egg sucking lessons, a contactless bank card can be used in lieu of an Oyster card, getting Oyster style pricing.

Should I add goof that as number 2.5, or 4?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 January, 2018, 08:14:27 am
I just learned what happens if you forget to put the filter basket in the coffee robot.

You come down to flooded kitchen, 8 mugs of coffee having run along the gaps between tiles, under units, behind units, until the entire kitchen floor is basically coffee. I'm not sure how 8 mugs of coffee substituted for the biblical flood, but it did. I don't have a small kitchen.

So one entire jumbo kitchen roll later, one quest for the mop, I think I got most of it. I'll be finding grounds for months, I'm sure. Whatever went under the units that I couldn't soak up with a bit of newspaper will be a curious stain to speculate upon the next time the kitchen is replaced (no time soon).

I'm such an idiot. There's the filter basket sitting on the drainer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: thing1 on 30 January, 2018, 08:53:19 am
Just very-nearly blew up my USA->UK mains transformer on first time of using it (in UK).  Plugged it in without first checking the input voltage selector which was of course still set to 110V rather than 240V.
[...]. Close one!

That USA to UK transformer will be the death of me. Hooked up the usain home theater kit to check if it works ok from a transformer. In my haste I managed to plug it all into the 220v rather than 110v outlet. (the 110v is a USA only socket but the 220v has one of those multiple style sockets that accept UK, European and, damn it, USA plugs)
Happily the AV receiver has a protection circuit and just didn't power on - no damage done. The sub however sat there for a few seconds before making a deep dull "thud" and will speak no more. Thankfully it was a relatively cheap one.
Large slab of gaffer tape requisitioned to cover up that 220v outlet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 30 January, 2018, 12:36:53 pm
I'm not sure how 8 mugs of coffee substituted for the biblical flood, but it did. I don't have a small kitchen.

It's a well known scientific fact that liquid in a container occupies considerably less physical space than spilt liquid.

Anyway, to put your eight cups into perspective, before Christmas, I had a trug containing approximately 40 litres of water* on the kitchen counter that I wanted to empty. So I tried to lift it to carry it over to the sink. And that's when I discovered that the handles weren't designed to support that kind of weight...


*actually a weak bleach solution that I'd been using to sterilise bottles for my home brew. The kitchen smelled like a swimming pool for several days afterwards.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 January, 2018, 12:57:04 pm
the 220v has one of those multiple style sockets that accept UK, European and, damn it, USA plugs

The type Big Clive has named "death-daptor"?  Those are good.  My favourite feature is the way they'll accept the earth pin of an appropriately rotated British plug in the live terminal.

Like many naughty things, they're sometimes useful, but best avoided first thing in the morning or without adult supervision.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 January, 2018, 02:03:43 pm
Driving back last night from funeral in northampton, googlemaps wanted to send me from M1 to M18. "No, i thought, I know better, I'm staying on the M1"

3miles further on, crawling through miles of roadworks, then a diversion that toook hours. what should have been a 2.5-3 hour drive took 5 hours.  Bloody idiot
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 30 January, 2018, 02:29:03 pm
Driving back last night from funeral in northampton, googlemaps wanted to send me from M1 to M18. "No, i thought, I know better, I'm staying on the M1"

3miles further on, crawling through miles of roadworks, then a diversion that toook hours. what should have been a 2.5-3 hour drive took 5 hours.  Bloody idiot
I've stopped questioning my satnav when it makes detour recommendations. I know i'm going to regret it one day, but it's done me proud over the last couple of years.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 30 January, 2018, 03:07:12 pm
Driving back last night from funeral in northampton, googlemaps wanted to send me from M1 to M18. "No, i thought, I know better, I'm staying on the M1"

3miles further on, crawling through miles of roadworks, then a diversion that toook hours. what should have been a 2.5-3 hour drive took 5 hours.  Bloody idiot
I've stopped questioning my satnav when it makes detour recommendations. I know i'm going to regret it one day, but it's done me proud over the last couple of years.

Lucky you, the last time I believed the sat nav it took me off the M25 at Leatherhead to go through Brooklands and West Byfleet back to S'dale.



Straight into the traffic that the BBC Surrey travel news had been broadcasting warnings about for the last hour.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 30 January, 2018, 04:14:24 pm
I was heading west on the M25 on Thursday afternoon, aiming for Wales. Instead of coming off the M25 to join the M4 by Heathrow, the satnav directed me onto the M3, then onto the A322 through Bracknell to join the M4 at J10. I was a bit dubious but followed its advice anyway. The A322 is a slower road, with a number of roundabouts and traffic lights to negotiate, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's genuinely quicker than dealing with the usual congestion around Heathrow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 30 January, 2018, 07:07:02 pm
I was heading west on the M25 on Thursday afternoon, aiming for Wales. Instead of coming off the M25 to join the M4 by Heathrow, the satnav directed me onto the M3, then onto the A322 through Bracknell to join the M4 at J10. I was a bit dubious but followed its advice anyway. The A322 is a slower road, with a number of roundabouts and traffic lights to negotiate, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's genuinely quicker than dealing with the usual congestion around Heathrow.
That's part of the route I've been using to / from Kent these 20+ years.  Every now and again you'll come a cropper with roadworks and Bracknell is best avoided at rush hour, but otherwise journey times over that leg are pretty predictable and avoiding the Heathrow corner has saved me no end of time over the years.

The other alternative when you can't even get to the M3 junction (when heading "west") is to come off at the A3 and go north about round Woking via Chobham back up to the A322.  Not fast, but still a bloody sight faster than sitting still on the outer London Orbital Car Park and you can always stop at a pub for lunch if the trip gets prolonged.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 30 January, 2018, 07:28:18 pm
Hmmm. Interesting, thanks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 31 January, 2018, 10:03:28 am
I was heading west on the M25 on Thursday afternoon, aiming for Wales. Instead of coming off the M25 to join the M4 by Heathrow, the satnav directed me onto the M3, then onto the A322 through Bracknell to join the M4 at J10. I was a bit dubious but followed its advice anyway. The A322 is a slower road, with a number of roundabouts and traffic lights to negotiate, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's genuinely quicker than dealing with the usual congestion around Heathrow.
That's part of the route I've been using to / from Kent these 20+ years.  Every now and again you'll come a cropper with roadworks and Bracknell is best avoided at rush hour, but otherwise journey times over that leg are pretty predictable and avoiding the Heathrow corner has saved me no end of time over the years.

The other alternative when you can't even get to the M3 junction (when heading "west") is to come off at the A3 and go north about round Woking via Chobham back up to the A322.  Not fast, but still a bloody sight faster than sitting still on the outer London Orbital Car Park and you can always stop at a pub for lunch if the trip gets prolonged.
Yup. Me too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 January, 2018, 10:44:47 am
With much grunting, straining, heaving and complaining and the nifty wee pushers & screwdrivers out of my watch maintenance kit (bought when I was given a Vostock Scuba, the Lada of watches) I removed a link from the Inlaw Paw's Seiko bracelet so that Mrs. T42 can wear it (she likes 'em practical).

Then realized that aforesaid kit includes a pin-driving gadget akin to a chainsplitter. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Thing2 on 31 January, 2018, 11:42:43 am
Just very-nearly blew up my USA->UK mains transformer on first time of using it (in UK).  Plugged it in without first checking the input voltage selector which was of course still set to 110V rather than 240V.
[...]. Close one!

That USA to UK transformer will be the death of me. Hooked up the usain home theater kit to check if it works ok from a transformer. In my haste I managed to plug it all into the 220v rather than 110v outlet. (the 110v is a USA only socket but the 220v has one of those multiple style sockets that accept UK, European and, damn it, USA plugs)
Happily the AV receiver has a protection circuit and just didn't power on - no damage done. The sub however sat there for a few seconds before making a deep dull "thud" and will speak no more. Thankfully it was a relatively cheap one.
Large slab of gaffer tape requisitioned to cover up that 220v outlet.

Yesterday, it was my turn. I thought that the Makita battery charger handled 240V. On closer inspection it says 110V 240W and we need a new one..........
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: thing1 on 01 February, 2018, 09:21:59 am
We've released enough magic smoke this week to summon a small army of genies.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 02 February, 2018, 08:32:06 am
When fettling cable disc brakes it does help if you actually look if there's any pad left as opposed to just twiddling all the movement out of the lever, otherwise you run out of stop a few days later  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 02 February, 2018, 04:09:25 pm
No backbone, some people.

You're not proper hardcore until you've gone thru the pad, backplate and the bike's stopping using the remains of the piston...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 02 February, 2018, 04:14:42 pm
...and then, of course, you go on to rant about how expensive it is to mend bikes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 03 February, 2018, 05:30:08 pm
About 30k from the end of today's ride, I decided it was time to turn the lights on.

Back lights - fine.
Front lights - no workee.

What's the problem?
The batteries are still in the charger at home...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 04 February, 2018, 07:28:15 am
...and then, of course, you go on to rant about how expensive it is to mend bikes.

 ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 February, 2018, 08:13:50 am
About 30k from the end of today's ride, I decided it was time to turn the lights on.

Back lights - fine.
Front lights - no workee.

What's the problem?
The batteries are still in the charger at home...

Hmm, had something similar happen to me just before Christmas, but in my case the freshly charged battery pack was duly strapped to the bike, but when I turned it on - kaput, nothing.  Small blinky light only, at least I had that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 February, 2018, 07:33:01 pm
There is a good reason why you should turn sossidges over at half-time when oven-cooking them.

Still, my jaw muscles got a good workout :-\
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 February, 2018, 09:27:39 am
There is a good reason why you should turn sossidges over at half-time when oven-cooking them.

Still, my jaw muscles got a good workout :-\
Was that 40 minutes a side or 45?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 February, 2018, 07:08:17 pm
Either I'm a TOTAL feckin' div or there's something wrong with the oven.  Because the mash on top of tonight's shepherd's pie came out resembling a terracotta roof tile >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 05 February, 2018, 07:23:26 pm
You forgot to use a fork to create the furrows before putting it in the oven?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 06 February, 2018, 10:38:23 am
Either I'm a TOTAL feckin' div or there's something wrong with the oven.  Because the mash on top of tonight's shepherd's pie came out resembling a terracotta roof tile >:(

Ah, you didn't turn it over at half-time..................
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 February, 2018, 10:59:52 am
Either I'm a TOTAL feckin' div or there's something wrong with the oven.  Because the mash on top of tonight's shepherd's pie came out resembling a terracotta roof tile >:(

Did you put it on the grill setting rather than the oven setting?

My wife did that last week when she was making pies. Tops were nicely cooked but the bottom was soggy raw pastry.  :sick:

Our oven is shite anyway - if you want to cook anything above 200ºC, you have to put it on at least an hour in advance for it to have any chance of getting up to temperature.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 February, 2018, 12:43:53 pm
I did once do "grill" rather than "convection" and the resultant choking clouds of fish-flavoured smoke were a thing to bring tears of joy to the eyes of the EPA's Scott Pruitt, but I'm pretty sure I didn't this time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 06 February, 2018, 01:02:16 pm
Not the former Indycar driver Scott Pruett, though?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 February, 2018, 01:57:28 pm
I expect the racing motor-ist wishes the other one would ["Go away" - Ed.] on a daily basis.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 09 February, 2018, 09:23:57 am
Dear Brane.

Plz to be remembering  that you have sharpened those scissors, kthxbai.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 09 February, 2018, 02:43:22 pm
Had an early flight to Southampton this morning so set off down the A34, at Newbury I took the exit to the M4 and headed for Heathrow....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 09 February, 2018, 04:33:14 pm
We have a new oven. I have attempted to cook jacket potatoes on defrost setting.
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 12 February, 2018, 04:20:40 pm
I just spent twenty minutes trying to figure out how manage to spend so much money in Jamaica earlier this year, since I have no recall of going there, yet seem to have three receipts in the expense machine that Amex says are from 'Jamaica.'

It only just hit me that it's Jamaica in Queens, NYC.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 February, 2018, 04:30:00 pm
We have a new oven. I have attempted to cook jacket potatoes on defrost setting.
(click to show/hide)
Keep trying. You are getting warmer
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 13 February, 2018, 12:41:23 pm
Had an early flight to Southampton this morning so set off down the A34, at Newbury I took the exit to the M4 and headed for Heathrow....

Do you mean from Southampton  ???
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 February, 2018, 09:50:01 pm
I wonder who could have gone to Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles today, corralled a herd of wild groceries and then discovered he'd left his wallet at home?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 13 February, 2018, 11:27:49 pm
I wonder who could have gone to Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles today, corralled a herd of wild groceries and then discovered he'd left his wallet at home?
that is why the have a portal on the inter web. It allows one to sit in ones Lycra undies with ones wallet in easy reach whilst young things scurry about the aisles corralling the wild groceries on ones behalf. It is wise to remember to be correctly attired when one of the young things arrives in a box van with said toothy comestibles intent on depositing them upon ones doorstep.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 13 February, 2018, 11:39:21 pm
I have received said comestibles from Mr Avocado dressed very scantily (shorts that have seen much better days, and are mostly hole) without so much as a raised eyebrow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 14 February, 2018, 08:27:51 am
I wonder who could have gone to Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles today, corralled a herd of wild groceries and then discovered he'd left his wallet at home?

Can also occur at Son of Morris' house of ingestible products :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 February, 2018, 09:19:37 am
My paterfamilias once met the son of Morris when he was working as a salesmen for Walls Ice Cream. Father's opinion of the son of Morris was not favourable, indeed he thought the man was a boorish oaf. Now given father's general intolerance of most things that had the temerity to disagree with him and given that the Son of Morris even then was the head of a supermarket chain, I suspect the truth lies somewhere between boorish oaf and dismissive busyman.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 February, 2018, 09:28:25 am
I wonder who could have gone to Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles today, corralled a herd of wild groceries and then discovered he'd left his wallet at home?

Can also occur at Son of Morris' house of ingestible products :facepalm:

Also at Mr Cohen's grocery superstore. More than once.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 14 February, 2018, 05:37:28 pm
Yep I did that at Mr Cohen's store this afternoon, but as it's 1 min from home I secreted my basket and was able to get home, payment method and back again before anyone moved my basket :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 February, 2018, 05:48:25 pm
Happens regularly enough that they're likely to be fine with basket-sitting for a short period.  I remember someone in front of the queue at Sainsbury's discovering they were walletless after a whole trolley full had gone through the checkout.  They were able to park the trolley out of the way, and fudge the transaction so they could come back and pay at the customer services desk without putting everything through the till again, which seemed eminently sensible.

There's a not-uncommon Aldi/Lidl variant where someone discovers they don't take credit cards, and has to duck out to the cash machine.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 14 February, 2018, 05:59:43 pm
Took Mrs B out for a meal before she was Mrs B (we were 'walking out' at the time).

At the end of the evening - No wallet!  :facepalm:   :-[

Luckily, she had her rent money in cash on her.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 February, 2018, 02:29:23 pm
My brother very kindly gave me tickets to Suggs' one-man show for Christmas. Great! I was really looking forward to it, and noticing the tickets stuck to the side of the fridge this afternoon, thought I'd better check the date and put it in my calendar so I don't forget...

Saturday 10th February

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 15 February, 2018, 02:35:09 pm
My brother very kindly gave me tickets to Suggs' one-man show for Christmas. Great! I was really looking forward to it, and noticing the tickets stuck to the side of the fridge this afternoon, thought I'd better check the date and put it in my calendar so I don't forget...

Saturday 10th February

 :facepalm:

A Gomez moment  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 February, 2018, 05:29:46 pm
Nobody would be so stupid as to pack there carry on case complete with day bag inside (and passport safely inside that) fasten up the zips and then click the zippers in the lock without first checking that it a) wasn’t locked and b) they could remember the code. Would they?  :facepalm:
Fortunately the lock was weak enough to jemey open with a house key, because none of us had our usual everyday carry multi tools with us as we were flying with caning baggage only.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 15 February, 2018, 06:22:47 pm
we were flying with caning baggage only.

I guess they've seen it all before, so no raised eyebrows at the security check.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 15 February, 2018, 07:38:04 pm
My brother very kindly gave me tickets to Suggs' one-man show for Christmas. Great! I was really looking forward to it, and noticing the tickets stuck to the side of the fridge this afternoon, thought I'd better check the date and put it in my calendar so I don't forget...

Saturday 10th February

 :facepalm:

A Gomez moment  :-[

I remember it well. Made the mistake of telling my grate mate Steve and he made me some fake ones as a piss take.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 February, 2018, 07:06:19 pm
Right, oven testing to determine the divviness of one or other of us.  Tonight's special is either cod in breadcrumbs or charcoal.

Edit:

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 February, 2018, 10:08:18 pm
Are you going to have to put a big sticker or a marker pen star next to the oven symbol?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 February, 2018, 12:59:14 pm
Better to put gaffer tape over the "Grill" button coz I've only ever used it by accident.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 17 February, 2018, 05:46:31 pm
Better to put gaffer tape over the "Grill" button coz I've only ever used it by accident.
:thumbsup: 8)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 18 February, 2018, 11:14:41 am
So nursed a coffee for half an hour and no one turned up for the ride.

The scheduled ride is next week....Doh, senility beckons.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 February, 2018, 11:47:54 am
Don't worry.  I once reserved lunch for 46 cyclists in an event that happened the week after, and forgot to warn the restaurant in time to cancel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 18 February, 2018, 10:45:40 pm
On the ride to the start of today's audax, I change up and the chain slips furiously.
WTF?

Inspection shows that the cassette has been incorrectly re-assembled after being taken off for cleaning.
2 of the sprockets are directly against each other, without the spacer between them.
The spacer has been put between 2 of the smaller sprockets which dont need one.

This rendered a bunch of my gears un-useable in one way or another, including all the ones I needed.

I suspect the bike mechanic may have enjoyed a glass or two of grog that day.
I shaĺl need to have words.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 18 February, 2018, 11:13:13 pm
That's what you get for cleaning stuff.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 18 February, 2018, 11:23:56 pm
A picture at the railway station at Eidsvoll, just one stop away from Oslo airport.

(https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4714/39312263335_2a6fcc7817_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/22TTCgH)
IMG_0388_01 (https://flic.kr/p/22TTCgH) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr

 In the wrong frikkin' direction :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 February, 2018, 07:47:48 am
So flip it in Photoshop and nobody will know.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 19 February, 2018, 08:50:09 am
That's what you get for cleaning stuff.

ITYM that’s what you get for letting other people clean your stuff.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Feanor on 19 February, 2018, 09:16:05 am
That's what you get for cleaning stuff.

ITYM that’s what you get for letting other people clean your stuff.

It was me wot dun it!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 19 February, 2018, 09:35:17 am
That's what you get for cleaning stuff.

ITYM that’s what you get for letting other people clean your stuff.

It was me wot dun it!

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 19 February, 2018, 09:59:09 am
Definitely a good idea to fire the mechanic then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 22 February, 2018, 01:33:33 pm
I will (one day) measure the chain before I clean it.

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 22 February, 2018, 01:58:26 pm
I will (one day) measure the chain before I clean it.

 :facepalm:

Did it shrink in the wash?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 04 March, 2018, 08:59:26 pm
Over the past month I've made new nacelles in GRP for a radio controlled twin engined model aeroplane I built a few years ago, and am now building a new wing for it.  The previous wing had nacelles made of balsa and ply and were now a bit tatty.

Making the nacelles, which are about 300mm long, 100 mm wide and 80mm deep, necessitated making a balsa wood plug to the exact shape that I needed the nacelles to be, then using the plug to make GRP moulds.  I then made the two nacelles, each one in upper and lower halves, in the moulds with a layer of gelcoat and two layers of glass cloth and epoxy resin.  They take a few days to harden sufficiently to retain their shape. 

Fitting them is difficult as they need to be cut and shaped to fit to the wing cross sectional shape, and accomodate the engine and the propeller driver boss at the front.  There are lots of lines and angles to get right.  Anyway, shaped and fitted three of the four halves over a period of a week or so, taking my time to avoid mistakes.  Then marked up the fourth and final half ready to cut. 

As usual, I measured several times, from various baselines, marked the line of the cut with 25mm wide masking tape and cut (once) the part along the edge of the tape with a cutting disc in my Dremel.

Along the wrong side of the tape.

I've just finished laminating up a new nacelle half.

Rats.

Bet TheLurker OTP wouldn't have made the same mistake.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 04 March, 2018, 09:04:34 pm
I've been away in That London for a week, and left the commuter bike a bit wet, dirty and sorry for itself.
So this evening, I gave it a quick clean-up for next week.

I managed to repeat my previous cassette fuck-up with 100% accuracy.
WFT is going on?

At least I spotted it this time as I was checking out the indexing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 March, 2018, 09:27:43 pm
I've been away in That London for a week, and left the commuter bike a bit wet, dirty and sorry for itself.
So this evening, I gave it a quick clean-up for next week.

I managed to repeat my previous cassette fuck-up with 100% accuracy.
WFT is going on?

At least I spotted it this time as I was checking out the indexing.


It's nature's way of telling you to stop cleaning your cassette so assiduously....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 March, 2018, 03:20:28 am
Or to go single-speed.
Title: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TigaSefi on 05 March, 2018, 08:45:32 am
I've been away in That London for a week, and left the commuter bike a bit wet, dirty and sorry for itself.
So this evening, I gave it a quick clean-up for next week.

I managed to repeat my previous cassette fuck-up with 100% accuracy.
WFT is going on?

At least I spotted it this time as I was checking out the indexing.


It's nature's way of telling you to stop cleaning your cassette so assiduously....

To be fair, salt, snow and brine demands that the chain and cassette should be cleaned ASAP.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 March, 2018, 09:46:34 am
all my bikes got cleaned at the weekend, once the hose had unfroze
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 05 March, 2018, 07:51:31 pm
Quote from: andytheflyer
....Along the wrong side of the tape.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.  On the bright side at least you hadn't fitted it and _then_ cut it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 05 March, 2018, 08:50:41 pm
Quote from: andytheflyer
....Along the wrong side of the tape.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.  On the bright side at least you hadn't fitted it and _then_ cut it.

Yup.  We live and learn.  Apparently.  I never do anything late in the day that can't easily be undone, nor after a GnT.  This was mid afternoon and I can only blame total incompetence.

The new cowling should be nicely cured by tomorrow am, so I can get on.

FWIW, I reckon the solution to your rubber band winding apparatus conundrum is an Irvine 25.............
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 05 March, 2018, 10:13:45 pm
When I was re-mantling the drivetrain after yesterday's modestly embarrassing clean-up,
I put some lube on each half of the quick link, and then attempted to make it up with frozen cold oily hands.
After some minutes of ineffectual adolescent fumbling, the chain sprung apart under the tension of the rear mech, and sent one half of the quick link into space, never to be seen again.

Just as well that I mis-understood the pack size when ordering, and have a shed-load of quick links...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 March, 2018, 10:25:57 pm
I thought I'd lost a quick link the other day when dismantling a bike, luckily found it on the floor of the bikeshed
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 07 March, 2018, 02:23:28 pm
I've got a little lump just inside my left ear which won't go away.    I've been meaning to get it looked at for ages....

Earlier today I noticed crusted blood on the outside of my ear.... oh shit, time to make an appointment with the GP.

An hour or so later I recalled nicking the edge of that ear with my razor, that's where the blood is from, phew.   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 07 March, 2018, 02:41:18 pm
I've got a little lump just inside my left ear which won't go away.    I've been meaning to get it looked at for ages....

Earlier today I noticed crusted blood on the outside of my ear.... oh shit, time to make an appointment with the GP.

An hour or so later I recalled nicking the edge of that ear with my razor, that's where the blood is from, phew.

Grow a beard, problem solved
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 March, 2018, 05:11:48 pm
Put a sheaf of papers through the photocopier the wrong way up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 08 March, 2018, 05:36:52 pm
Just got the remains of the bearings out of a Fulcrum freehub. The inner race was a bastard to shift.

Hate it when they do that

Until I discovered a very sorry and mangled circlip.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

oh
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 09 March, 2018, 11:23:37 pm
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 10 March, 2018, 08:01:10 pm
On Saturdays breakfast at my hotel is served late and the cafe over the road from work is shut so....
Remembered yesterday to nick a second breakfast and stash it in my room (fail count this year =3)
Remembered to ensure I had milk in the mini fridge for use with nicked breakfast (fail count =1)
Had breakfast today  :thumbsup:
Remembered yesterday to purchase a lunch and stash it in the mini fridge (fail count =2)
Remembered to get lunch out of fridge this morning (fail count =2)
Returned to hotel at lunch time to retrieve warm and dry cornered sandwiches  :facepalm:

I've managed to get the Friday / Saturday routine correct just twice of the 8 weekends I've been here this year. How can it be so hard?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 10 March, 2018, 08:10:20 pm
When picking up the yoghurt pot lid that you've been using as a "glue pot" for superglue make very sure you _don't_ put your thumb on a bit where there's still a tiny bit of CA. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: clarion on 12 March, 2018, 11:16:42 am
Related:  When mending crockery, stick the chip to the original item, not one's thumb. :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 12 March, 2018, 10:31:42 pm
Try not to kneel on the Araldite hardener tube. It takes quite a bit of getting out of one's jeans, and leaves one with an annoyingly useless tube of the adhesive.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 March, 2018, 10:52:51 pm
Probably marginally preferable to epoxying your knee to the floor, thobut...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 18 March, 2018, 09:30:49 am
Top of yesterday's shopping list: loo rolls. I remember putting them in the trolley, I remember not putting them in the car.
Snowpocalypse 2 may make that a much regretted moment of div.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 March, 2018, 10:43:11 am
Been putting off changing the gear cables on the wee MBK I use on the turbo because I detest re-taping handlebars. Anyway, I haven't got any new HB tape & it's not worth a trip into town or paying postage on just one item... excuses piled up.

It hit me last night: it's 3x9 Tiagra, Y2K vintage.  The gear cables don't go under the tape.

But it's damnably cold in the workshop...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 March, 2018, 07:48:31 am
I dropped Dr Beardy (Mrs) off at work and went on to work myself. Got to the gatehouse and couldn’t find my pass card in any of my pockets, and I couldn’t remember picking it up this morning. So after a bit of muttering I decided I’d come home and work from there today.

I got home and realised that I’ve not got my laptop in my bag, so I’m going to have have to go into the office after all.  More muttering ensues. It’s only 4 miles to work though, so not a major issues. I then spend the next 15 minutes looking for my pass card (and the key to the draw my laptop lives in), emptying my bag and generally creating chaos. I can’t find it there. I go through my pockets again, nope I wasn’t being stupid, it’s not there. I have another look in my work bag, nope not there either. Some muttering about Dr Beardy (Mrs)'s tidying habits may have been involved

By this time I’m getting a bit hot under the collar, so I unzip my hood. Oh, look what’s hanging around my neck.  :facepalm:

I’m having a cup of tea before I go anywhere!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 24 March, 2018, 07:38:49 pm
Guess who found their spare Garmin quarter-turn mount that they'd been looking for for a fortnight, two days after the replacement arrived  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 24 March, 2018, 08:08:54 pm
Guess who found their spare Garmin quarter-turn mount that they'd been looking for for a fortnight, two days after the replacement arrived  :facepalm:
Can't be me cause I found my polarised filter about two hours after the replacement arrived ... doh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 March, 2018, 09:18:33 am
Yebbut now you have two you can use them crossed with various stuff in between.  If the stuff - e.g. mineral crystals etc. - is itself polarizing you get kewl effects.

Unless, of course, you have circular polarizers.  And they mostly are for digital. Hum...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 26 March, 2018, 08:25:59 am
Going for a ride yesterday, found myself heading down the front steps with a bottle of milk in my hand instead of the bidon I left in the fridge a few days back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 March, 2018, 08:40:16 am
Last minute dash to Cambridge yesterday by train to view rooms-to-let.

Forgot to check the routing. Nose in a book studying. Change at Peterborough, check. Zoom through Ely. Should be getting to Cambridge soon. Hang on, Bury, why is this train stopping at Bury.
Oh, sh!t, this is one of the ones where I needed to change at Ely.

Bloody idiot. Bloody expensive taxi from Bury to Cambridge (actually relatively cheap for the distance).

On the plus side, I found somewhere, and they liked me enough that they knocked £50 per month off the asking price for the rent. Must be my boyish charm or good looks. Or maybe they just felt sorry for me, like you do for a battered stray cat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 26 March, 2018, 08:05:50 pm
Good news MrC.  New job and decent digs. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 28 March, 2018, 07:54:28 am
Puts hand up.... that would be me then.

On Sunday I went off to do the Cheshire Cat Sportive around the potholes of Crewe and East Cheshire promising to phone CBH at 11am to tell her how I was getting on and then at 1pm, my estimated finishing time. This I failed to do miserably as I left my mobile phone at home.  :facepalm: I received quite a stern telling off from her once I had found a working phone box.

Of course, having a brain the size of a planet, I wouldn't do that again now would I.....

Forward to yesterday....the car went in for its annual "lets remove some money from the sucker" test which resulted in me having to cycle into town during the end of the "rush hour" (No idea why they call it that as it took me 30 minutes to drive the same 2 mile route yesterday morning as I cycled in 8 minutes in the evening). Anyway, my passing words to CBH was: "the cars ready, so I would only be 30 minutes...."

I am getting there....honest. So, I turn up at the garage to find that the car is not ready despite them phoning me to say it was, meaning that I was hanging around in their waiting room for over 90 minutes  :facepalm:  No issues....just phone CBH to say you will be late.

I will leave you to work out the rest. When I did get home, CBH was in floods of tears as she thought something nasty had happened to me.

So, for making my wife cry, I nominate myself as a "Fecking Div" and are now looking to have a mobile phone implanted somewhere where I can't lose it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 28 March, 2018, 08:11:48 am
A mile into my cold, wet commute and I realised why I felt "wrong". I hadn't picked my bag up :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 March, 2018, 09:53:11 am
Completely sunburned my head making a snowwoman (I'm completely on top of diversity). In retrospect, some aspects of my sculpting might have looked suspect. I also made a snowcat.

Anyway, it all peeled off in a festival of unparalleledly flaky grossness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 March, 2018, 11:09:31 am
That sounds UNtidy.  How can you dispense Leading Thoughts if your head is coming apart?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 March, 2018, 11:24:28 am
That sounds UNtidy.  How can you dispense Leading Thoughts if your head is coming apart?

Indeed. Fortunately, I scrubbed all the peeling skin off in the bath last night and my head is tidy and ready to dispense leadership again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 31 March, 2018, 11:33:35 pm
That sounds UNtidy.  How can you dispense Leading Thoughts if your head is coming apart?

Indeed. Fortunately, I scrubbed all the peeling skin off in the bath last night and my head is tidy and ready to dispense leadership again.

Like Rab C Nesbitt in Spain?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 01 April, 2018, 11:34:23 am
Got up at 2am this morning for one of my many nighttime visits to the loo and discovered the front door open.... :o

So of course I turned on the security lights and had a look outside to ensure the garage was still locked and the car still there. I then wandered around the house to check that before going back to bed upon finding nothing wrong.

Two minutes later there was loud banging on the door and some rude words issuing forth from a female....well CBH.

It seems she had popped out to stop a cat fight and I had locked her out.... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 01 April, 2018, 01:22:15 pm
I cycled to church last night. Then immediately cycled home. Then cycled to church again, this time with my large messenger bag containing all the hymn sheets and the computer to play all the music for the mass.

At least I left enough time to go back for it (just).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 02 April, 2018, 05:14:10 pm
You'd think by now I'd be able to tell the time.
We are having tea an hour earlier than planned.
MrsC is not amused.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 06 April, 2018, 10:58:55 pm
I've just spent 10 minutes clearing a solder bridge between two adjacent pins on an integrated circuit before realising that they are connected together anyhow.
It could be that the writing of this previous post has slightly reduced my tendency to such divviness, by making me remember possible stupidity traps. I was about to start clearing a solder bridge today when I checked the layout and found that the two pins are connected, so I was able to leave well alone. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rower40 on 07 April, 2018, 06:30:01 pm
I've just spent 10 minutes clearing a solder bridge between two adjacent pins on an integrated circuit before realising that they are connected together anyhow.
It could be that the writing of this previous post has slightly reduced my tendency to such divviness, by making me remember possible stupidity traps. I was about to start clearing a solder bridge today when I checked the layout and found that the two pins are connected, so I was able to leave well alone.
Learning from your own mistakes is great.  Learning from other people's is much more fun.
Seeing a thread on here, learning from it, then realising "I wrote that!" is somewhere in between...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 07 April, 2018, 09:46:47 pm
I've just realised that in clearing my Mum's house we gave away my Dad's golf clubs. In itself not a problem as a set of 50-some year old irons & woods is no great loss.

But his Ping putter, one of the originals . . .

FUCK!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 April, 2018, 06:49:04 pm
Cough inhaling wheeze bark peanuts cough is not cough recommended  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 09 April, 2018, 07:28:58 pm
My medicule training tells me inhaled peanuts can be NARSTY cos Harmful Oils.

Hope you've coughed this bugger up properly!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 April, 2018, 08:04:42 am
Added a set of crosstop levers to the fixed. Before connecting up the cables, I took it for a test ride to check I was happy with the position of the levers.

When I later came to connect up the cables, I discovered that the cable clamp bolts, both front and rear, had worked themselves loose and fallen out somewhere during my test ride...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JonJo on 10 April, 2018, 03:42:27 pm
Phoned surgery to complain that the doctor has failed to keep a telephone appt for the third time. Receptionist suggests she phones back to check she can get through as I may have call blocking activated. I give her rather a dusty reply then huffily hang up. Seconds later my phone lights up with a call that's been diverted straight to voicemail. It is, of course, from the surgery.  :facepalm:

Call blocking eh? That's a handy feature I didn't even know existed (except I must have, otherwise how did it get turned on?).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 10 April, 2018, 03:46:42 pm
I think some phones have phone blocking as well as some telco 'features'.

Better check my 1572...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 13 April, 2018, 04:41:12 pm
I booked my car in for its MOT. 15 minutes after I get home, the garage calls.
"Your car isn't due to be MOT'd until the end of next month. Come and collect it please."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 April, 2018, 06:29:36 am
Last year I bought 3 travel padlocks for securing luggage. 4 digit combination locks.


Can’t remember what I set them to & the one on this overnight bag is shut  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 14 April, 2018, 08:44:13 am
Oh well. It's only 10,000 possibilities...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 April, 2018, 10:04:50 am
9998, assuming it's not 0000 or 1234.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 14 April, 2018, 10:07:17 am
1111?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 April, 2018, 10:15:26 am
Last year I bought 3 travel padlocks for securing luggage. 4 digit combination locks.


Can’t remember what I set them to & the one on this overnight bag is shut  :facepalm:

I bought a cheap combination bike lock a few years back and was randomly fiddling with it. I had unwittingly set it to a random number and locked it.

I was surprised how quickly I found the correct number - it was only about 20 minutes. Mind you, I had selected something beginning with 1. That cut it down a bit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 April, 2018, 10:18:45 am
None of the usual combinations of birthdays or phone numbers work. Of course it’s something so simple & unforgettable I’ve not written it down  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 14 April, 2018, 11:16:20 am
1984?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 14 April, 2018, 11:34:48 am
Have you tried the PIN for you ATM bank card?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 April, 2018, 02:36:33 pm
Ten point to Helly for not suggesting the PIN number for andrewc's ATM machine card :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 April, 2018, 07:53:32 pm
Ob-Spaceballs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KMNFNk_hvQ
https://youtu.be/3KMNFNk_hvQ?t=40s
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 April, 2018, 09:30:56 pm
As mentioned in other threads, I bought a pair of new calipers for my BB7 discs which arrived today so this evening I decided to swap over the rear one which is the knackered one.
So I hoofed off the old caliper, bunged on the new, only to find that once I'd got the thing bolted to the frame I couldn't do the other nuts up and the disc was jammed in the slot.

Fuuuuuck! I thought.  I've never gone and bought for the wrong disc size, have I? I was sure I'd done it all correct.
I sat for a bit comparing the size and design of the old caliper with the 2nd new one. Nope, they are exactly the same size, what the hell is going on?
Well, bugger, I'll just have to put the old one back on if I want to ride to work tomorrow.
I unbolt the new one and then finally realise my mistake. I've put the front caliper on the rear and I couldn't see why it was wrong because I was comparing the old caliper with the remaining new one, which was of course the correct one! Once I put it on...

What a nugget.  :facepalm:  :-[

Still, at least I got to do it all sitting in the sun.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 19 April, 2018, 09:39:08 pm
It's been a long day!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peat on 20 April, 2018, 11:12:56 am
Mending a door handle using box of old parts. I needed to cut the bar, that joins the two handles together, to fit.

Have it in the vice, attacking it with the junior hacksaw. It required a fair amount of welly, must have been hardened steel or something, getting about 80% through and thought "This'll give any second n........" BLAM! Final bit sheers, sending my ungloved thumb directly into the freshy cut, hot metal stub.

My testes receded into my body, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. i inspected the wound. Deep, grey wound. "Oh, it's not even bleedi........" Wave of pain, profuse bleeding ensues. I went through several dressings before it started to gum up giving me ample time to think "I'm such a fecking div!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 April, 2018, 07:59:54 pm
I managed to run myself over with the car.  I can attest to the perfect F/R weight distribution of an MX-5, since it definitely felt like 275kg on my (slippered) foot.  This isn't the first time, either.  I don't recomnend it but it doesn't seem to do any damage.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 21 April, 2018, 01:19:37 am
You've been auditioning for Monty Python's 'Upper Class Twit of the Year'!  :o :o :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 21 April, 2018, 09:23:19 am
You've been auditioning for Monty Python's 'Upper Class Twit of the Year'!  :o :o :o

Though now he could probably qualify for a job at the Ministry of Silly Walks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 21 April, 2018, 10:55:41 am
When packing to return home from Italy in a concious effort to distribute the weight as my hold bag was likely to be overweight I put 4 full size bottles of bathroom liquids in my carry on.  Two were unopened.  Cue looking like that idiot at the scanners.  It's not like I was even in a total trance or drunk, several other items I was careful to put in the hold bag mindful of exactly the same rule set.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 23 April, 2018, 08:30:45 am
Mending a door handle using box of old parts. I needed to cut the bar, that joins the two handles together, to fit.

Have it in the vice, attacking it with the junior hacksaw. It required a fair amount of welly, must have been hardened steel or something, getting about 80% through and thought "This'll give any second n........" BLAM! Final bit sheers, sending my ungloved thumb directly into the freshy cut, hot metal stub.

My testes receded into my body, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. i inspected the wound. Deep, grey wound. "Oh, it's not even bleedi........" Wave of pain, profuse bleeding ensues. I went through several dressings before it started to gum up giving me ample time to think "I'm such a fecking div!"

Ouch, mend soon!  I got that feeling when I had a contretemps with my hedge-cutters a while back...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 23 April, 2018, 09:54:12 am
I'd designed the steelwork for one of our major projects on the basis of the floors being precast hollowcore concrete 'plank' units.  Turns out I was wrong to assume that; the architect wanted a composite floor, which significantly changes the structure.  Oh well, it's only a couple of days' work down the swanny...  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 25 April, 2018, 08:35:03 am
On the way out the door this morning, glanced at the table and thought 'What's that pile of clothes?', figured it out when I got out the shower at work  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 25 April, 2018, 08:36:48 am
Sorry Si that is a brilliant bit of Div'ing :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Riggers on 25 April, 2018, 09:00:12 am
On the way out the door this morning, glanced at the table and thought 'What's that pile of clothes?', figured it out when I got out the shower at work  :facepalm:


Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 25 April, 2018, 09:24:42 am
In Brussels Monday. Computer running low. Reach in bag for adaptor, take out adaptor. Note the missing euro-noggin. Which is on my desk at home. Sigh. Decide to charge my phone instead. Reach in bag, take out adaptor. Note UK plug. Sigh. Decide to go to bed. Reach in bag for PJs. You know the story. At least I remembered pants. You have no idea how expensive pants are at the airport. I don't want designer pants, I tell them. They smile wistfully. It's that or commando and they know it. Honestly, I once spent over a hundred quid on a week's worth of underpants.

Good job it was just an overnighter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 April, 2018, 01:56:30 pm
Yeah. I spent an awkward week in Eindhoven once after finding out that the bayonet adaptor for my electric razor wouldn't fit Edison screw Dutch light sockets. One of the first Europeans to wear an Arafat stubble, I reckon.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 26 April, 2018, 07:38:13 am
In Brussels Monday. Computer running low. Reach in bag for adaptor, take out adaptor. Note the missing euro-noggin. Which is on my desk at home. Sigh. Decide to charge my phone instead. Reach in bag, take out adaptor. Note UK plug. Sigh. Decide to go to bed. Reach in bag for PJs. You know the story. At least I remembered pants. You have no idea how expensive pants are at the airport. I don't want designer pants, I tell them. They smile wistfully. It's that or commando and they know it. Honestly, I once spent over a hundred quid on a week's worth of underpants.

Good job it was just an overnighter.

Top tip: lots of stuff including i-thingies have hidden IEC C7 sockets (figure of 8 mains leads) requiring that you somehow slide out the UK plug to discover. Then, it is simply a matter of purloining one from the back of the TV or wherever. (note: in i-thingy case this works with the larger ones such as laptop adapters, not the basic built-into-the-plug iphone ones)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 26 April, 2018, 07:47:25 am
or ask the hotel staff, they've usually got a drawer full of adapters people have left behind, such as the one I left in Frankfurt a few years back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 26 April, 2018, 09:03:10 am
I couldn't be bothered going down to reception, I'm sure they had one, it was a big Marrioty place up by Parliament. It hadn't however occurred to me that the noggin-less Macbook power adaptor would lovingly couple with such a generic cable. It's like Lady Sanderstead doing it with Boggins the footman.

Only annoyed when I opened my computer on the train to do a bit of work to note the 23% I'd acquired during the meeting had conspired its way down to 2% as the machine slept. So I went and got a couple of bottles of Duvel instead.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 26 April, 2018, 03:11:53 pm
. So I went and got a couple of bottles of Duvel instead.
And a much better use of train traveling time if I do say so myself :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 26 April, 2018, 03:42:23 pm
I just learned, at 3.32pm, that today is not in fact Friday.

Which explained why there was no one on the conference call I'd dialled into, I suppose.

Now I'm all Friday-ed up with nowhere for it to go.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 26 April, 2018, 04:33:21 pm
'ere you might find this handy for this thread

(https://i1.wp.com/www.plymouthdevils.co/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/season-ticket-500x321.png?fit=500%2C321&ssl=1)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 26 April, 2018, 05:13:13 pm
I'd just forget it.

As a plus, it means I have another day to prepare for next week's Tour de Tidy Haired Thought Leadership™. Which I need, considering I've come down with a serious case of procrastination.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CrinklyLion on 27 April, 2018, 07:51:35 am
Slightly overfilled the bath.  Got in anyway, narrowly avoiding an overflow.  Carefully washed hair while keeping all the water in the bath - go me!  Reached to put the bottle of shampoo back and accidentally caused a minor soapy tidal wave - which soaked the bath mat and definitely moistened the towel that was on it, waiting.  Got out, wrapped myself up in soggy bath towel, wandered off to find another dry towel and went back to the bathroom with the somewhat moist one to dry the floor because slip hazard alert.

Slipped and went base over apex in the doorway on the way in.  Ow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 27 April, 2018, 11:32:29 am
Ouch!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 April, 2018, 01:16:27 pm
Boil kettle, put Brown Drink granules in mug.  In tea mug :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 27 April, 2018, 01:25:07 pm
Just bought Mrs F a new iPad, will be delivered tomorrow.

But she wants an iPad Mini :facepalm:

So I now have 2 iPads arriving tomorrow. I'll be up a ladder with a paintbrush so I hope whoever answers the door rejects the correct package.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 April, 2018, 12:58:08 pm
Turned to say something over shoulder to Mrs. T and walked into the doorpost. Forgot what I wanted to say, too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 April, 2018, 02:30:10 pm
I'm currently making a cigar-box guitar, but in the absence of a cigar box I'm making that too. Dead simple: 5mm ply, two short sides, two long sides, a top + bottom and a few blocks to reinforce the corners.

So: I cut the sides and put a notch in one of the short ones to take the neck. Having done this, I realise that in the best tradition of "measure once, cut twice" I've been & gone & put it off-centre. Drat. But there's a handy piece of ply lying on the bench so I take that, cut it to length, mark it up properly this time, double-check it, and cut out the notch. Fine.

Then I take the blocked-out neck and try it in the notch - yo, dead centre - then do a dry-run assembly with the sides: two short ones, two long... er...

That's funny, one of the long sides has disappeared. It was on the bench just a minute ago...

I really do need to retire.

Oh, wait...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 30 April, 2018, 02:55:38 pm
Thought there was only me that was that daft.

reassured now...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 May, 2018, 11:34:26 am
Anent the above: I'm standing in the shop today, working away on the neck with my wonderful Veritas spokeshave when the missus comes in and says "oh, that's lovely!"  I step back proudly so that she can see all of it, whereupon she says "no, I meant all the curly shavings". :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 May, 2018, 12:53:23 pm
When you're tired of an accumulation of pleasingly curly wood shavings, you're tired of life.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 May, 2018, 02:12:19 pm
Oh, I agree. One of the most wonderful gadgets is the spill plane, which does nothing but:

https://youtu.be/3os1txIj5dA
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 May, 2018, 02:22:38 pm
Oh, I agree. One of the most wonderful gadgets is the spill plane, which does nothing but:

https://youtu.be/3os1txIj5dA

And now I know what a 'spill' actually is.  Always assumed they meant the bastard hybrid of a match and a lolly stick that we used to distribute fire to the bunsen burners at school.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 01 May, 2018, 10:39:35 pm
Oh, I agree. One of the most wonderful gadgets is the spill plane, which does nothing but:

https://youtu.be/3os1txIj5dA

And now I know what a 'spill' actually is.  Always assumed they meant the bastard hybrid of a match and a lolly stick that we used to distribute fire to the bunsen burners at school.

I seem to remember my science teacher calling them a taper?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 02 May, 2018, 12:01:49 am
Oh, I agree. One of the most wonderful gadgets is the spill plane, which does nothing but:

https://youtu.be/3os1txIj5dA

And now I know what a 'spill' actually is.  Always assumed they meant the bastard hybrid of a match and a lolly stick that we used to distribute fire to the bunsen burners at school.

I seem to remember my science teacher calling them a taper?

I think they were called 'wooden splints' by some teachers.

I vaguely remember 'Pick Up Sticks' was also called 'Spillikins' by some.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 02 May, 2018, 08:42:24 am
I heard both spill and taper as a child. In the lab we used "splints". Apparently splint simply means a strip of wood.

I like the German word for them: Fidibus.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 02 May, 2018, 10:28:35 am
*adds spill plane to workshop wish list*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 May, 2018, 08:00:10 pm
having bought some of those new fangled MTB sorts with the separate liner I thought I'd wear them today. 

Put the outer on the bed, put the inner on me, got the bike out of the shed, walked it to the end of the drive, sat on it.  Hmm, this feels a bit odd.  Hmm, no outer shorts  :facepalm:.

Oh bugger it, no body will notice on a closed loop one hour ride
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 04 May, 2018, 10:36:25 am
I just forked out for a bunch of electronic DIY brevets. Notification email tells me I already had six in the bank that I had forgotten about.

Better start planning lots more riding over the summer!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 04 May, 2018, 10:43:32 am
Cleaning 2 of my small Nalgene bottles prior to filling them with cooking stuff for this weeks trip.     One shattered in my hand under light pressure, nearly giving me a nasty cut  :jurek:     The other shattered as well after an experimental squeeze.   


They'd been on my kitchen window sill for ages, so my guess is UV exposure.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 04 May, 2018, 11:00:26 am
2nd entry of the day!  Just gone to unchain my green tourer & found that when I last used the blue tourer (Sunday) I'd just propped it against the rest & not locked it up  :facepalm:   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 May, 2018, 02:13:30 pm
That is the best way of discovering that you haven't locked your bike though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 05 May, 2018, 06:31:58 pm
Bugger! The rubber O ring from the Trangia cap was stuck to the burner. I didn’t notice & when I lit the stove it melted & blocked the burner holes. [/font]
I see some scraping & unblocking in my future [/font]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 May, 2018, 07:20:16 pm
Got a taxi to LaGuardia for my flight. Checked boarding pass on arrival. JFK. Three other apposite letters: FFS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 May, 2018, 10:49:56 pm
Oops
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 06 May, 2018, 06:56:58 am
Oops

Fortunately I was early and the traffic on the Grand Central and Van Wyck expressways benign. Mostly a FFS because I could have just hopped on the E a couple of blocks from my hotel straight to JFK (at significantly less expense). In my defence, my original itinerary did have me slated for LaGuardia, it obviously lodged in my brain despite a latter change.

Made my wife laugh. Idiot she says. This from a woman who once went to the airport on the wrong day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 06 May, 2018, 09:55:24 am
Are either of you officially allowed out without a grown up...?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 May, 2018, 12:10:56 pm
Joke about Thought Leadership leading thoughts in entirely the wrong direction goes here ==>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 06 May, 2018, 06:53:42 pm
Stripping the Ridgeback, I needed to remove the cranks, so got the extractor and screwed it into the thread. I then proceeded to apply extreme pressure to remove the crank, or so I thought, whilst all the time screwing the extractor further into the pedal thread. It is now stuck very fast although the pedal is off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 06 May, 2018, 07:00:57 pm
When fitting a tyre to a non-tubeless rim, do not forget the rim tape.... BANG!!!  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 May, 2018, 07:56:47 pm
Long ride today in a generally circular motion.  Seems that I maintained the sun on my LHS all day, and despite use of sunscreen, have something of a demarcation line running down my nose and a slight panda-ishness about my eyes from the sunglasses. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 May, 2018, 10:47:27 am
Div? Colour me arsehole.

I needed to cut a 5mm step into the neck where it goes under the top of the guitar body. Took it down on the bandsaw but I was maybe half a mm too shallow.  I couldn't get my chisel plane adjusted: one tap shoved blade too far out, tap on body brought it back too far, and re-honing the blade didn't help. In desperation I took my n° 4 plane to it diagonally across the grain and knocked a corner off the bit of the neck where it will be visible. :facepalm:

Now I can either get more wood and make another neck (http://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/gaah.gif) or take out a chunk right across the neck and put in a "decorative feature" of a different colour.  Arse.

Maybe I was daft to use sapele, it's a bit too soft. Others do, though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 May, 2018, 02:30:55 pm
Fitting a new kitchen sink, I reminded myself that the waste isn't yet connected, to avoid the classic "pour water down sink, what's that splashing sound in the cupboard" error. To make doubly sure I put a criss cross of masking tape over the sink.

Fast forward thirty minutes. I notice I'd knocked a cup of water over on the New! Shiny!  worktop, so I grabbed a cloth to mop it up with. Squeezed the cloth out in the sink, obvs. See error noted above.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 07 May, 2018, 03:06:46 pm
Long ride today in a generally circular motion.  Seems that I maintained the sun on my LHS all day, and despite use of sunscreen, have something of a demarcation line running down my nose and a slight panda-ishness about my eyes from the sunglasses.

I’m only laughing out of sympathy. And because I may have BTDTGTTS...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 May, 2018, 09:09:55 am
Before riding the other day I gave the chain a good dose of lube. On returning the can to the shelf I realised that I'd used the degreaser.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 May, 2018, 03:59:26 pm
A word of advice to everyone. If you are dependent on externally administered chemicals for any reason whatsoever, it is best to remember to take your medicine every day. Especially if they are mind altering chemicals.
#DAHIKT
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 May, 2018, 07:05:42 pm
A word of advice to everyone. If you are dependent on externally administered chemicals for any reason whatsoever, it is best to remember to take your medicine every day. Especially if they are mind altering chemicals.
#DAHIKT
I use the medisafe app to remind me
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 May, 2018, 08:54:11 am
Maybe I should get that to keep track of the degreaser.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 17 May, 2018, 11:52:10 am
I'm using Medisafe as well. It's very configurable and you can skip or suspend meds doses as needed. I suspended my vitamin D due to sunshine hopefully being sufficient for a while. I'll reenable it when it gets less sunny in the autumn.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 May, 2018, 07:25:53 pm
I've just made and put in teh oven four individual beef wellingtoni.

Making them is quite a labour, with fillet steak a reasonably expensive one. I assemble them by putting the duxelle (fried chopped mushrooms with stuff, mkay?) on the bottom of the steak, placing it on one pastry sheet, covering with more duxelle and then a second sheet over the top.

Done that, placed in the oven. Then noticed precisely half the lovingly prepared duxelle sitting naked.

If I had half a brain I'd be dangerous.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 18 May, 2018, 10:06:41 pm
I hope you made a Wellington pastie . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 22 May, 2018, 07:48:02 pm
None of the usual combinations of birthdays or phone numbers work. Of course it’s something so simple & unforgettable I’ve not written it down  :facepalm:


Ah !  Thats what it was !  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 26 May, 2018, 09:28:38 pm
Bugger! The rubber O ring from the Trangia cap was stuck to the burner. I didn’t notice & when I lit the stove it melted & blocked the burner holes.
I see some scraping & unblocking in my future


New O rings ordered.  £1.50 for 2 from https://fettlebox.co.uk/   


I seem to have got it wrong & ordered 8.......    :facepalm:     Oh well,   should last me a while.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 May, 2018, 09:33:12 pm
Hide a spare one in your touring kit now before you forget!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 26 May, 2018, 09:42:30 pm
Where does a chap hide a spare O ring ......... ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 26 May, 2018, 09:48:37 pm
Where does a chap hide a spare O ring ......... ?

Answers, please, on a post-card.  Post to A&E Department, The Royal Liverpool University Hospital.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 26 May, 2018, 10:06:02 pm
Like the amphetamineszip ties, inside the handlebar . . . ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 26 May, 2018, 10:18:37 pm
Rubber rings & zip ties..... it'll be duct tape next   :jurek:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 28 May, 2018, 08:44:03 pm
And without even looking I found my spare...  in a kitchen drawer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 31 May, 2018, 09:00:08 am
I seem to be making a lot of entries in this thread ...


When I was in France 2 weeks ago I phoned home to make an appointment with my GP & booked it into my phones calendar.  I just turned up for the appointment an hour early, the phone recorded it as CEST for some reason.  Luckily he was amused & saw me straight away.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 May, 2018, 09:06:52 am
At a guess, the phone was taking its time from the local network. Funny, I'd expect them to use UTC.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 31 May, 2018, 12:11:16 pm
One of our cats- Willow- is diabetic. As a result she is on a controlled diet and insulin jabs twice a day. Every so often we have to do glucose curves so, as well as giving her injections, we have to pin her down every hour or so to make her bleed (pin prick in ear margin). Injuries are not uncommon as a pined down ravenous cat can get a bit feisty.

The other day was a new one. Willow is being fed in the kitchen. Our other cat Scooby is being fed in the hall. I need to go to the hall so start to open the door as Willow is still feasting at her bowl. She ain't stoopid though. As soon as she heard the noise of the door opening she was like a furry torpedo accross the kitchen heading for the doorway. As I tried to stop her, I kicked the door-

(https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1743/27601171087_d5efcfcfaf_k.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/J42dy8)IMG-20180525-00187 (https://flic.kr/p/J42dy8) by Matt Langridge (https://www.flickr.com/photos/59790646@N05/), on Flickr

I think I may have profaned.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 May, 2018, 01:05:14 pm
Cue Mr. Phillips, Navy Lark: Ooh narsty.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 02 June, 2018, 08:14:16 am
I cleaned some superficial rust from an EAI track sprocket using Barkeeper's Friend (oxalic acid).

It also took off all the black coating.

I now have a very bare steel sprocket.  It looks cool but it's going to have to be smeared in oil to protect it.  I'm tempted to re-black it by heating it up and dropping it in oil but this will probably anneal it and make it soft.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 02 June, 2018, 03:14:16 pm
If it's clean enough why not see a gunsmith about having it blued. Once upon a time this was a DIY thing. Might still be... (https://www.wikihow.com/Blue-Steel)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 02 June, 2018, 09:40:45 pm
Recently I’ve been riding my Di2 equipped “posh” bike, but the last couple of days it’s been wet so I was out on the conventionally geared machine. And I noticed the almost silent running of the drive train compared to the posh bike. Today I decided to have a look see to see if I could fathom why the Di2 gears were noisy. Up on the workstand and turn the cranks, hmmm chain line looks ok, chain clear of sprockets, running ok on the jockey wheels..... oh, why is the chain running behind that tab between the jockey’s  ::-). So I break the chain (quick links ftw), re-route it in front of the cage tab, and reconnect. Blissfully silent running, and all before the chain wore thru the tab.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 02 June, 2018, 09:53:34 pm
Recently I’ve been riding my Di2 equipped “posh” bike, but the last couple of days it’s been wet so I was out on the conventionally geared machine. And I noticed the almost silent running of the drive train compared to the posh bike. Today I decided to have a look see to see if I could fathom why the Di2 gears were noisy. Up on the workstand and turn the cranks, hmmm chain line looks ok, chain clear of sprockets, running ok on the jockey wheels..... oh, why is the chain running behind that tab between the jockey’s  ::-). So I break the chain (quick links ftw), re-route it in front of the cage tab, and reconnect. Blissfully silent running, and all before the chain wore thru the tab.

Ah yes, I've done that one (without the Di2-ness) as well. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Brianfox on 02 June, 2018, 10:12:17 pm
So, having had our rather wonderful tandem completely refurbed, my rather wonderful stoker has a conversation with another couple with a tandem.

The subject of suspension seatposts comes up. Our stoker seatpost has an ancient "post moderne" suspension post. Theirs has a Cane Creek Thudbuster, apparently the Rolls Royce of such gear.

I duly promise to get one. I am wary of seatpost sizes, so purchase a micrometer to properly check. The post moderne has a 25.4mm post, but with a shim. I check the pilot seatpost to get the right size. 27.2mm. Thudbuster of same size purchased.

Turns out said Thudbuster needs elastomers changing for my stoker, too svelte for standard. I spend some time this morning doing that. I then remove old seatpost, and fight with annoying clamp to remove saddle. I fit saddle to new seatpost, carefully measure insert length and thoroughly grease.

I fit new seatpost to frame. Or, rather, I don't.

BECAUSE THE REAR SEATPOST IS A DIFFERENT SODDING SIZE TO THE FRONT ONE.

Who on earth ever thought that was a good idea??

The rear appears to be 26.4mm, a size I wasn't even aware existed.

GAAAAAAH!

[cross posted from cuk, but as I'm *such* a fecking div, seemed worth it]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 02 June, 2018, 10:30:39 pm
Your pain felt.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 June, 2018, 10:57:09 pm
And that, kids, is why the Sun Tour "quick cage" wants badly to be reinvented  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 03 June, 2018, 12:06:51 am
Recently I’ve been riding my Di2 equipped “posh” bike, but the last couple of days it’s been wet so I was out on the conventionally geared machine. And I noticed the almost silent running of the drive train compared to the posh bike. Today I decided to have a look see to see if I could fathom why the Di2 gears were noisy. Up on the workstand and turn the cranks, hmmm chain line looks ok, chain clear of sprockets, running ok on the jockey wheels..... oh, why is the chain running behind that tab between the jockey’s  ::-). So I break the chain (quick links ftw), re-route it in front of the cage tab, and reconnect. Blissfully silent running, and all before the chain wore thru the tab.

Ah yes, I've done that one (without the Di2-ness) as well. :facepalm:

Ah yes.  Done that several times.   :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 03 June, 2018, 12:48:27 am
And that, kids, is why the Sun Tour "quick cage" wants badly to be reinvented  ;D

Always thought the 'half cage' on the 600 'Arabesque' rear mech, with the push button release allowing the chain to be removed without any dismantling was rather elegant . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 03 June, 2018, 09:27:37 am

I duly promise to get one. I am wary of seatpost sizes, so purchase a micrometer to properly check. The post moderne has a 25.4mm post, but with a shim. I check the pilot seatpost to get the right size. 27.2mm. Thudbuster of same size purchased.



Whilst I always advocate buying a tool when you need one, as it's surprising just how often you'll use in in the future, there's another way of finding the diameter.

Wrap a bit of paper around the seat post and mark the edge of the paper where it overlaps.  Measure with a ruler and divide by pi. 

There speaks a man who's just junked his £10 crap Chinese digital caliper 'cos it had started to give non-repeatable results and was eating batteries, and bought an old school dial gauge version, with a resolution of 0.01mm.  Plenty accurate enough for me.   Dead easy to use, no batteries, and relies entirely on things mechanical, not some magic involving voles.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 03 June, 2018, 10:27:31 am
Quote from: andytheflyer
...and bought an old school dial gauge version, with a resolution of 0.01mm.  Plenty accurate enough for me
Andy, I'd have thought for the big stuff you build measuring to the nearest yard would be more than close enough.  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 03 June, 2018, 01:21:17 pm
Quote from: andytheflyer
...and bought an old school dial gauge version, with a resolution of 0.01mm.  Plenty accurate enough for me
Andy, I'd have thought for the big stuff you build measuring to the nearest yard would be more than close enough.  :)

 ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 03 June, 2018, 06:33:12 pm
Out for a ride in black park  and decided I could ride across the little plank bridge across the stream above the lake.  I  found out that the bridge was a bit to narrow and ended up in the stream   ::-).
I have just bent the left side track rod  . I have managed to get it nearly straight but I will order a new track rod Monday morning and hope that the Windsor bike company can sort out the tracking by Wednesday as I hope to use the trice to the Watlington camping meet   :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 June, 2018, 07:07:16 pm
I had a comedy bridge moment of my own today.  A somewhat ambitious sharp left onto a humpback bridge that I've only walked with a recumbent previuously from the other side (rideable on upwrong).  I geared down, turned sharp left, accelerated, hit the bottom of the bridge and bounced.

I bounced right out of the seat and ended up sprawled RHS down.  No damage to me or bike, but I proved my point, you need to get off and walk that section. 

Just the other side of the bridge is about 300m of comedy moonscape potholing.  Just about rideable on recumbent if you can avoid the deepest craters, I hit one today and almost pinged myself off the bike again into the ditch.   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 June, 2018, 03:35:56 pm
After an utterly non-restful weekend, I decided I couldn't get my normal Monday train to work because there was a new starter on my team, and my other team member was back from holiday and we had shuffled desks.

So cue very early start after row with the missus over something stupid, sod all sleep.

Get to work and find; A) New starter is at the other office, won't be with me until tomorrow. B) other team member isn't in until Wed, C) I have hospital appointment outside of Cambridge

Feck, I could have stayed in bed an extra hour, probably not rowed with MrsC and work would have been fine.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Nick H. on 04 June, 2018, 08:40:25 pm
I built my frame on Dave Yates' course about 13 years ago. https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=39924.25Started When I specced it I decided to build it up with 8 speed Dura Ace. Prior to that I had been a user of 6 speed Dura Ace. 6 speed Dura Ace had down tube shift levers and non-aero brake levers. No other options. So I brazed on the fittings for down tube levers.  I could have gone for bar end levers but I didn't want that Dawes look. (Not cool. The pros never had levers there. Those levers were meant for TT clip-ons.) Through the '80s Dura Ace went to 7 and 8 speed and those fancypants aero brake levers arrived. (Huh, as if a tortuous cable routing could ever justify the infinitesimal drag reduction of hiding your brake cables inside the bars!) In '91 Shimano threw out the old designs and introduced 9 speed Dura Ace with brifters! (More idiocy, forcing you to compromise your aero tuck in order to change gear.) They paired it with the new Hyperglide sprockets, which have half the tooth area worn away from new so you can run the chain on two cogs at the same time and replace the cassette twice as often.  It's all just marketing gone mad, to convince you that your bike is disposable.

Today I finally discovered that the first Shimano brifters were actually for 8 speed Dura Ace. They came out in 1990. How did I go all this time believing that brifters were only for the modern age? All these years of combing ebay for 8 speed bits and studying velobase and I completely missed the arrival of the world's first brifters. The prototypes were first seen in the '89 Tour on Phil Anderson's bike - the first time that pro racers didn't use down tube shifters. http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/icons-of-cycling-the-first-shimano-sti-gear-shift-system-178099 I devoured all that detail at the time, so I must have known all the details. I was a big fan of indexing and the other Dura Ace innovations in the '80s. I specced a new 753 with a 7400 group set in 1986, an unheard of decision. I felt like I was the country's biggest Shimano fan. It's inconceivable that I didn't know all about the dramatic switch to brifters. But I completely forgot. And I've somehow been blind to them for the last decade and a half. What has happened to my brain? I've regressed. I'm a missing link to cave-dwelling simpletons.

http://velobase.com/ViewComponent.aspx?ID=C6C9B8F3-5C94-4E2E-BB45-B67E77E36B3A&Enum=125&AbsPos=0
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 June, 2018, 09:56:24 pm
I remember reading in (I think) Bicycling magazine about these new-fangled road STI levers and Aheadsets, which came out at the same time.  The latter was a Dia-Compe invention although they later sold the trademark to Cane Creek, and the concept was licensed to anyone who wanted it (Shimano and Chris King wouldn't pay).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 June, 2018, 06:34:09 pm
We came on a bike touring holiday and forgot to bring our stash of jelly babies  :facepalm: :'(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 10 June, 2018, 09:47:40 am
I'm tempted to re-black it by heating it up and dropping it in oil but this will probably anneal it and make it soft.
It was an awfully long time ago but my memory is slow cool to anneal, fast quench to temper.  It could well be hardened though and that has to be the last process, you would make it soft by undoing (to some extent) the hardening.

Sitting ready to be corrected.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 10 June, 2018, 12:15:20 pm
Slow cool to Anneal
Fast quench to harden
Low tempurature heat cycle to temper.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 11 June, 2018, 08:40:17 am
Been reading a LOT of Pratchett recently.

Yesterday, whilst completing some official type forms, I dated one Sunday 10th Grune 2018 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 11 June, 2018, 11:12:45 am
Been reading a LOT of Pratchett recently.

Yesterday, whilst completing some official type forms, I dated one Sunday 10th Grune 2018 :facepalm:

 :D :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I'm quite surprised you put 2018. What with all that's going on "The Century of the Fruit-Loop" might have been appropriate
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 11 June, 2018, 11:49:55 am
I've come into work today without any of my painkillers.* starting to get rather sore, but fortunately I have to travel to site in a couple of hours which means driving past home so I can call in and pick them up.


* As I typed this I remembered the emergency stash in my office bag. Only one tablet so a half dose but hopefully it will take the edge of the discomfort.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 11 June, 2018, 12:33:57 pm
Ouch. Hope half dose will do till you can get to the full stash...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 11 June, 2018, 12:34:57 pm
I didn't realise I didn't have a hearing aid in till I was at the bus stop yesterday - had to go home and get it because there's no point in trying to socialise with non signers without it... DOH
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 11 June, 2018, 12:41:45 pm
I've taken up the rotten floorboards up in the en suite (terminal shower leak) to replace them.

I had a bit of plumbing to do too so before replacing them I used some small cuts of the removed floorboards to bridge the joists and give me a stable platform.

Yes, you heard right: I decided to stand on cuts of the rotten boards that I was replacing.

One of them gave way beneath me on Friday night. Luckily, only my right leg went through, resulting in cuts and bruises and the odd sensation of being in two places at the same time...

So now I have some plastering to do when I've finished the shower.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PhilO on 13 June, 2018, 11:27:17 am
Bit of a drawn-out commute yesterday morning. Thank goodness for flexi-time! I heard a suspicious rattle just before reaching work and stopped. No keys in pocket. Looked behind. Nothing. Checked bag. Nothing. Phoned MrsO. No, keys not at home. So rode home slowly, looking for them. Checked all round house and garage. Grabbed spare key, and rode back in again, slowly, still looking for keys. And found them, ~2 metres from where I originally stopped!  ::-)

Hour and a half for s commute that normally takes 16 minutes...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 June, 2018, 04:16:44 pm
That annual favourite: stopping the spinning wheel by hand when there's a studded tyre on it.  Been a while since I used the mountain bike...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 13 June, 2018, 04:21:29 pm
That annual favourite: stopping the spinning wheel by hand when there's a studded tyre on it.  Been a while since I used the mountain bike...

Some people pay others to inflict decorative scars , you just DIY.... :facepalm:       Hope there was nothing other than bad swears as a result.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 June, 2018, 04:34:21 pm
That annual favourite: stopping the spinning wheel by hand when there's a studded tyre on it.  Been a while since I used the mountain bike...

Some people pay others to inflict decorative scars , you just DIY.... :facepalm:       Hope there was nothing other than bad swears as a result.

Man been to Heidelberg.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 13 June, 2018, 06:33:50 pm
Imagine if you will, being on holiday in a country such as Malta. Possibly renting a property through Airbnb with a BBQ area outside the front door, overlooking a bay. Nice, eh? Then consider preparing a meal, including putting some stuff on the cooker in a frying pan. Then consider what might happen if you step outside to see how your spouse and the BBQ are doing, closing the front door so it doesn't bang, as it's quite breezy. With the key inside.

You get permanent membership of the leaderboard of this thread, that's what
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 June, 2018, 06:49:23 pm
Oops!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 14 June, 2018, 11:30:56 am
Awaiting a leather case for my new phone. Postie arrives with a suitably sized padded cell envelope. 'Goodie, goodie, gum drops!' methinks.

But wait. What's this? Marry! 'Tis a rubberised armour case in a fetching shade of orange with a screen protector and a lurid bronze anodised stylus.

Straight onto ebay, 'Item not as described'. <Fade down>

<Fade up> Mrs Torslanda - of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate - arrives.
'Has your son's new phone case turned up . . .'
'Is it orange?'
'Yes'
'FUCK!'
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 June, 2018, 01:05:34 pm
Further proof that I shouldn't do anything requiring thought the day after a hard ride: my FDR has been rubbing a bit in the high trim position, so this morning I put the bike on the hooks and started twisting the downtube adjuster.  (a) very stiff, even on the smallest chainring and (b) twisting has no effect; but I managed a couple of turns.

Out to workshop again just now, after lunch. Noticed that moving the FDR shifter twitches the cable on the other side of the bike. :facepalm:

Fixed now.
Title: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 23 June, 2018, 10:27:43 am
Cycled to parkrun this morning. Made a last minute decision to change which bike I used, which meant swapping stuff from one bag to another.

Got to parkrun, locked up bike, did run, went back to bike... and that’s when I realised I’d left the key for the lock in the other bag.

Wife poorly in bed so I can’t get her to come out and rescue me.

Bollocks.

ETA: finally got hold of my son after making my wife get out of bed to wake him up, the feckless layabout. He’s on his way with key. I’ve promised to take him for breakfast by way of thanks. Although it will be lunchtime before he gets here.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 23 June, 2018, 11:17:16 am
Our ancient (for modern consumer electronics/white goods) 20 yo Hotpoint washer was being a bit picky about how the door was shut.  Sometimes it would wash, sometimes it would need an extra push on the door - and since we have Economy 7 and the washer goes on in the wee small hours (aka the small wee hours) we would often wake up to a machine that hadn't washed.

Diagnosed a faulty door interlock switch.  Looked up new one on the web and I thought it was £20.  Not being sure if the lock was the problem, found one on Fleabay for £8, delivered.  Just in case it wasn't the lock.

Fitted the new (old) lock, only took me 15 mins, having determined just how to get at it.  Works fine.  Result.

In browsing for motor brushes (it's bound to need some soon) I saw that the price of a new lock wasn't the £20 that I thought it was, but £7.65.  So 35p cheaper (but without p&p) than a used one that's only 2 years newer than the machine itself.  Doh……..

Oh well, at least I now know that the problem was a duff interlock, and I know how to swap it over for the inevitable new one.  Assuming that the next machine problem isn't terminal.  But even major parts such as the programmer and the motor, still available  new but >£100, are available used at around £25 - so maybe the machine has a few more years left in it yet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 29 June, 2018, 08:44:54 pm
A small collection of idiocies gathered over the last week or so.

Midday today sees me hurrying home with two copies of a glider* plan in my hot little hands eagerly looking forward to starting on it tomorrow morning....

... only to find that; yes I *can* build a 36" span wing easily on my board, *provided* it's a two part wing of 18" a-side.  What I can't build is a *one piece* 29" wing.  Cue the sound of an, extensive, forehead being slapped. Never mind measure twice, cut once; measure once would have been a good place to start. 

Wednesday last week saw me kicking my heels in the local minor injuries unit with a deep scalpel cut that would just not stop bleeding.  Top tip. When putting a straight edge on balsa sheet prior to cutting strip keep your fingers out of the way of the blade.

Monday last week saw me in a minor flap thinking we had a leaky pipe in the loft.  No.  A certain clot had left a not quite empty bidon in his study cupboard which he'd knocked over that morning and the drips of water were from that, but it took a good five minutes of frantic turning off of the mains and checking the ceiling for damp patches to discover this


*Walthew MK II, Roland Scott 1948.  This one has been on my build list since 1973.  For those of you interested in that sort of thing I uploaded a cleaned up copy to Outerzone last week.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 June, 2018, 10:17:18 pm
That's where not having an upstairs comes in handy, any ceiling dripping is automatically SERIOUS
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 30 June, 2018, 09:20:53 pm
I'm curious, where does this sit on the divviness continuum? Take a new packet of cling film and rip off the cutter instead of opening the box.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 30 June, 2018, 10:13:32 pm
Depends whether you had already destroyed the old box...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 June, 2018, 10:16:01 pm
I'm curious, where does this sit on the divviness continuum? Take a new packet of cling film and rip off the cutter instead of opening the box.

Top divving, Ham.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 June, 2018, 10:30:42 pm
Depends on whether you use the cutter, I suppose.

Barakta and I have a compromise: I don't moan about the clingfilm living boxless and requiring unpredictable hand-ripping, and she doesn't bin the box for the foil.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 03 July, 2018, 11:41:21 am
So. Last night I reserved my hire van for the BHPC weekend. Usual online stuff, pick a depot, pick a vehicle, confirm collection time. Easy gig.

'Complete your reservation'. Pay now or later? Hmm, later methinks.
Enter driver # & licence details. Expiry date. Hmm(2).

My driving entitlement runs until 2032 but the expiry date on teh photocard is May 2018.

'Do you need this letter?' sez Mrs. Torslanda - she of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate.

'Arse! Bum! Buggritt! Minnellium, hand & shrimp!' sez me. I'll be your dickhead for the day.

Dire warning from the gov.uk about driving with an expired photocard whilst still actually entitled to drive for the best part of another 15 years. Pay the 2 dollars & order new licence. Of course I'm going to cut the old one in half and send it back...

...but not before the new one arrives. I'm not that much of a feckin' div!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 04 July, 2018, 09:07:37 pm
Lost my boarding pass in Munich airport. Luckily Im flying Lufthansa not some cheap airline and the very efficient lady at the desk printed me a new one in 30 seconds.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 July, 2018, 09:10:41 pm
Don't boarding passes just mysterious appear on your phone these days?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 04 July, 2018, 09:24:31 pm
Don't boarding passes just mysterious appear on your phone these days?

Probably to do with the fact that my company bought the tickets for me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 July, 2018, 09:27:35 pm
You should still get them when you check in? Even bouncing around Africa, I don't think I saw a real boarding pass. They do tend to insist on giving me a paper version if I check in a bag.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 06 July, 2018, 10:58:12 am
 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: Just got back from my early morning ride to discover that I had put my bibshorts on the wrong way around, so the front was at the back etc.... :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

I thought they felt a bit tight across my chest!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 06 July, 2018, 11:09:02 am
:facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: Just got back from my early morning ride to discover that I had put my bibshorts on the wrong way around, so the front was at the back etc.... :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

I thought they felt a bit tight across my chest!

Still its better than putting them on the right way around then riding your bike backwards.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 July, 2018, 01:37:45 pm
Depends on whether you use the cutter, I suppose.

Barakta and I have a compromise: I don't moan about the clingfilm living boxless and requiring unpredictable hand-ripping, and she doesn't bin the box for the foil.

We have a permanent wall-mounted dispenser for foil and clingfilm. It's great. Instead of a cutting edge, it has a slider that provides a neat, straight cut every time. Boxes and their hateful cutters go straight in the recycling.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 July, 2018, 01:40:13 pm
My driving entitlement runs until 2032 but the expiry date on teh photocard is May 2018.

I realised on reading this that I have no idea when my photocard expires... just checked - April 2022. Phew.

Sure I'll forget again before then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 July, 2018, 01:56:43 pm
Are photocards ID cards masquerading under another name?

--o0o--

Further to my "Super Twat" entry:

Removing surgical strapping with adhesive solvent is not to be recommended unless you have buckets of the stuff.  I'm recovering from a tear in one quad and I ran out yesterday with only enough on the strapping to dissolve the bond between the adhesive layer and the fabric.

Result: muggins standing breekless in the bathroom with a 6" wide spiral of tacky white adhesive encircling his right thigh and hands covered in it while missus hies off to two chemists' shops looking for more solvent. It took a full bottle, a nailbrush and a shower to remove the rest.

To be honest, one of the containers of solvent that we already had was in an aerosol can, so I couldn't see how much was in it, so dividity is not strictly proven.

Discovered later that Decathlon has excellent re-usable strapping that sticks to itself but not to the skin. At 4€ a pop it's 20% cheaper than the solvent and a hell of a lot less painful to remove.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 July, 2018, 03:55:06 pm
should that be dividity or divinity?

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 July, 2018, 04:00:00 pm
Depends on whether you suffer from hay fever or not.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 09 July, 2018, 01:46:54 pm
I've come into work today without any of my painkillers.* starting to get rather sore, but fortunately I have to travel to site in a couple of hours which means driving past home so I can call in and pick them up.


* As I typed this I remembered the emergency stash in my office bag. Only one tablet so a half dose but hopefully it will take the edge of the discomfort.

You would have thought I would have learnt the first time.


And more importantly remembered to refresh the emergency supply.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 July, 2018, 06:37:48 pm
BIG does not = HIGH when farting around with rear mechs

That's all   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 09 July, 2018, 07:17:57 pm
Oh low...  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: lahoski on 10 July, 2018, 11:17:45 am
It turns out that the best thing to do before a meeting is throw three quarters of a mug of fresh, real coffee all over my desk, laptop and actual lap. It's not as if I've done this several times a year for the last decade.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 12 July, 2018, 11:40:17 am
Having just spent an hour trimming a few mm of a couple of wooden battens I remembered I have an electric plane
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 17 July, 2018, 09:03:41 am
Last night I watched 35 minutes of the ITV4 highlights programme before I realised it was a rest day!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 July, 2018, 09:46:47 pm
After one and a half Tours de France (or, as *** and Super D might say, "Tour de Frances", because they are fecking divs) I have noticed that the Watchfinder-General wears a selection of different watches.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 19 July, 2018, 03:48:03 pm
We have a recently adopted “rescue” cat. She is wearing the “cone of shame”. I gave her some “cat pate” to eat. The cone makes a cracking scoop.....   ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 19 July, 2018, 05:57:08 pm
... so keep it when she's finished wearing it.

For the cat pate litter tray!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 19 July, 2018, 08:16:25 pm
Who accepted the offer from his sax teacher of a lesson today at 3pm, just when the Alpe d'Huez stage was getting interesting......

Answers on a...….
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 20 July, 2018, 08:06:04 am
*points and laughs*  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 July, 2018, 01:01:04 pm
(11:30 Switches on anbaric memory-box)

Aaaaaaargh, you bastard, why haven't you recorded today's live Tour coverage?

(Prods buttons)

Because it doesn't start until 12:30, you div.  What it didn't record was the re-run of last night's highlights, because it wasn't meant to.  If my reglazed reading glasses don't turn up soon I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 25 July, 2018, 12:19:32 pm
There's a broken pedestal fan in the garage and my remote command centre is so hot today and my wife has the other fan. So I've moved it indoor and set it up. Broken as in it's missing the fan guard. But hey, I'm not like stupid enough to stick my arm into the rapidly whirling blades, am I?

Savlon applied.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 July, 2018, 12:33:51 pm
Our pedestal fan is dangerouser than yours: it's got a guard on the blades but the motor housing fell to bits years ago so you can stick your fingers in it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 25 July, 2018, 12:43:11 pm
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 25 July, 2018, 02:05:26 pm
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 25 July, 2018, 03:05:20 pm
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 25 July, 2018, 03:55:50 pm
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 25 July, 2018, 03:57:52 pm
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).

Of course you couldn't see the fan blade going round because it was going round
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 25 July, 2018, 08:47:02 pm
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).

Of course you couldn't see the fan blade going round because it was going round

Try starting twin  i/c engines on an R/C model then.  You start one, then inevitably have to reach across to start the other one....

Tell me that's not an accident waiting to happen, even if the blades are plastic of some sort.  At 8000 rpm, you don't even feel it.  DAMHIKT.

At least I now have a LiPo battery strapped to my starter motor so that I've not got any trailing wires any more.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 25 July, 2018, 09:18:21 pm
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).

Of course you couldn't see the fan blade going round because it was going round

Well I could, but then it was already ouchy-ouchy territory. If it's any consolation, it was pre-coffee and I have some long haul jetlag. I should just bodge a fix with some duct tape. Or taken the Dyson from upstairs, though that would be admission that I support the purchase of a stupidly expensive fan (and Dyson is a bit of a twat).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 25 July, 2018, 09:41:05 pm
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:


And now I've skinned my knuckles trying to shift a stubborn bottom bracket .  Can we start today again please ?


Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 25 July, 2018, 09:43:13 pm
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:

Bloody stupid place for a kip if you ask me . . .

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 25 July, 2018, 10:48:51 pm
Or taken the Dyson from upstairs, though that would be admission that I support the purchase of a stupidly expensive fan (and Dyson is a bit of a twat).
You could argue that the Dyson fan is worth the cost for how much more difficult it is to get your fingers caught in the blades.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 28 July, 2018, 03:41:58 pm
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 28 July, 2018, 07:02:10 pm
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.

"points and laughs...."   ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 28 July, 2018, 09:08:58 pm
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.

"points and laughs...."   ;D
Touché.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 29 July, 2018, 08:08:13 am
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.

"points and laughs...."   ;D
Touché.

I came across a new word a friend used recently - Douché. I interpreted it as when you were being a douche and saying touché :P
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 01 August, 2018, 05:19:11 pm
I thought I'd give my sickly laurels a dose of the hosepipe as the temperature climbs again. All going well until I decided to manoeuvre myself around to the other side of the summer house (aka posh shed) at which point, while untwisting a water retarding kink in the hose, the end got stuck in the pocket of my shorts and suddenly shot a high pressure blast of surprisingly cold water at my testicles. That was best described – charitably – as invigorating.

Gwyneth Paltrow may be big on vaginal steaming, but I'm promoting a blast of cold water to the 'nads as a top male restorative.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 01 August, 2018, 05:56:33 pm
Douché  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 01 August, 2018, 09:28:17 pm
In Surrey, you could probably charge for that kind of thing
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 01 August, 2018, 09:36:22 pm
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:

Whilst a group of us was walking to the very first session for our choral course in St. Andrews last week, one of the members sis exactly the same thing. She broke her wrist and took no part in the course, which cost her about £600. She was 10 yards from the venue at the time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 09 August, 2018, 08:21:54 am
<shambles in> What am I doing here? Oh yes....

Breakfast, how wonderful is thy divness, let me count the ways.

Two eggs on two toast, coffee.

Apparently convention has it when making filter coffee that you insert the receiving jug in the appliance, who knew?
Making 2 slices of toast on a Dualit toaster involves switching the number of slices to two.
And, in order to cook eggs in a frying pan, you need to light the gas.

Every day's a school day.

<shambles off>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 09 August, 2018, 09:59:49 am
You haven't woken up yet.  Go back to bed and try again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 09 August, 2018, 05:29:01 pm
Good thing it wasn't ham'n'eggs . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 August, 2018, 09:48:47 pm
The Cruzbike developed a reluctance to switch into the granny ring this week, just when I needed it to get up some 14% inclines (a bit of cable stretch I think), so I was trying to shift it manually.  I thought I'd caught my glove in the chain, about 10km later when I got to Claonaig ferry port, stopped and took my glove off I realised I'd caught the tip of my finger in two places.

Still effin' sore three days later.  I learnt to just push the derailleur instead of fiddling with the chain.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 August, 2018, 08:04:03 am
Not that I'm a glue-sniffer, but you know how superglue has a rather delicate aroma when you're putting it on workpieces? Yesterday I glued a spoke magnet into a hole in a bit of wood with the stuff then, curious to see if the smell continued pleasant during curing, had a sniff. It felt as if I had just inhaled cayenne pepper.

I suppose the key is in the name: cyanoacrylate. I pity the poor buggers who were deliberately killed with HCN.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 10 August, 2018, 07:05:01 pm
Made multiple attempts to arrange a routine blood test yesterday by phoning number on letter they sent me. Phone rang out every time.
Realised today I'd been dialling the fax number, d'oh.

I'm not the only div; if that fax had been on/working, the modem screech would have alerted me to my divvishness...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 13 August, 2018, 08:50:12 am
And for this morning's performance I managed to put the water into the coffee maker. Twice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Chris S on 13 August, 2018, 09:54:02 pm
Arse. I got done for speeding. 57 in a 60 zone.

Yeah yeah, I know - but I was in my Vito, which apparently is a DPV (Dual Purpose Vehicle - I'd never heard of the term until now) and as such, has a max speed of -10mph on Single and Dual carriageways (not motorways - WTF?).

I had no idea of this - I assumed it was <7.5T and therefore same as a car. If it had been one of two recognised campers (VW California and something I've never heard of) which are exactly the same size and weight, that would be OK - they're the same as a car, apparently. What a load of bollocks.

But ignorance is no defence, and I'll take what's coming, I'm a Div and I should have known better it would seem.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 August, 2018, 10:00:51 pm
I'd never heard of a DPV either, but recently became aware (fortunately before I got caught speeding in one) of those speed limits for <3.5tonne vans.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 August, 2018, 10:01:12 pm
Blimey, that page on CDV and DPV is clear as mud...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 13 August, 2018, 10:59:30 pm
And it's exactly on the limit 'recommended' for enforcement of +10% & 2mph over.

That's wank. Pure revenue raising.

No. I've heard EVERY argument. Don't even bother.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 August, 2018, 11:03:23 pm
What *is* the logic behind having different speed limits for different classes anyway?  I'd naively expect it to reflect the effect of mass on stopping distance etc.  But if so, why does it matter within a weight class what your exact configuration of windows and seats might be?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 August, 2018, 04:03:18 pm
Presumably different vehicles behave in different ways even if they have similar stopping distance. For instance, it makes sense to distinguish between rigid vehicles and articulated or drawing trailers. I think I can also see some point in giving buses a higher limit than lorries, if only because shorter journey times = more passengers = fewer cars on the road. Similarly it would seem reckless to allow agricultural vehicles with the width of a barn and similar visibility (due to the cab being at barn roof level) to go as fast as a lorry, even if they have the same weight. But those are pretty obvious and if anyone doesn't know whether they're driving a lorry or a bus, they probably shouldn't be allowed out without supervision. Whereas the differences between car-derived van, dual-purpose van, light commercial vehicle, motor caravan and – I think there was another one? – are definitely not obvious and really don't seem pertinent.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 August, 2018, 04:13:40 pm
I suppose a dual purpose van is likely to have a load space full of boxes and tools that are unlikely to be fastened down. All that loose mass is bound to affect the way a vehicle reacts in an emergency braking situation.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 August, 2018, 04:19:53 pm
The same applies to many people's cars!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 14 August, 2018, 04:32:27 pm
The different limits have been in force for years.
Our second car,  circa 1965, was a Ford Thames van which had a lower speed limit than our previous car. I was told at the time this was because of the restricted visibility in the van.
It was irrelevant as neither vehicle could reach anything like 60 mph
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Chris S on 14 August, 2018, 04:35:45 pm
And it's exactly on the limit 'recommended' for enforcement of +10% & 2mph over.

That's wank. Pure revenue raising.

Or just bad luck - which if it continues, probably means I won't get the choice of a Speed Awareness Course as I've already done one (years ago). I was doing 35 in a 30 zone that time - again, right on the borderline. Sigh...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jakob W on 14 August, 2018, 06:41:31 pm
Wonder how that works technically? Does everything within 10 mph of the limit get run through ANPR?

(And I'd never heard of these limits either.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 August, 2018, 09:53:31 am
Making 2 slices of toast on a Dualit toaster involves switching the number of slices to two.

You'd think I might have grasped that one after 16 years of Dualit toaster ownership.

You might also imagine that having been using the thing for so long, I never get caught out by someone having unplugged it.*

You'd think that, wouldn't you?



*For those not familiar with Dualit operation, it uses a clockwork timer and manual pop-up mechanism. Its robust simplicity is its strength (it's still going strong after 16 years) but also its weakness, as it is possible to operate it without power, which means it is possible to stand there for several minutes watching the timer wind down, only to be left with still cold bread at the end of it...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 August, 2018, 10:30:47 am
Making 2 slices of toast on a Dualit toaster involves switching the number of slices to two.

You'd think I might have grasped that one after 16 years of Dualit toaster ownership.

You might also imagine that having been using the thing for so long, I never get caught out by someone having unplugged it.*

You'd think that, wouldn't you?



*For those not familiar with Dualit operation, it uses a clockwork timer and manual pop-up mechanism. Its robust simplicity is its strength (it's still going strong after 16 years) but also its weakness, as it is possible to operate it without power, which means it is possible to stand there for several minutes watching the timer wind down, only to be left with still cold bread at the end of it...
It's also repairable, which is a good thing. The clockwork switch was a weak point in ours, but since I changed it there have been no toast related incidents caused by mechanical failure. User mis-operation though cannot be discounted.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 15 August, 2018, 12:07:19 pm


You'd think that, wouldn't you?




I don't think I'm allowed to.



(probably 19 years, here)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 19 August, 2018, 07:17:43 pm
Just dropped my Dremel 800 cordless rotary tool. It went bang.  Nasty electrical smell. Won't do anything other than a brief flash of an LED.  I'm really piss*d because a month ago I gave it a new speed controller, at £40, and it responded, lovingly, by returning to full working order.

Needless to say, well obsolete.  Fleabay has a used one, so may go for that as I already have a good Lion battery for it.

Feels like a bereavement.  I use that tool nearly every day.  It's always ready to go, it never lets me down, it's as faithful as an ageing labrador.  And I let it down by dropping it.  We've been together for many years, built and repaired many model aeroplanes, shortened over-long mudguard stays, drilled loads of small pilot holes in advance of the bigger tools doing their stuff.

Boo hoo..... I may have to have a stiff Port Charlotte malt.......

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 20 August, 2018, 12:00:49 pm
While doing some tidying up, I just found my race number and timing tag from last year's London CX league season. Thought I'd sent them both back months ago. Oops! Organiser says they've already forked out for replacements for unreturned numbers for this season...  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: lou boutin on 20 August, 2018, 06:35:05 pm
It's taken me three year to put two and two together and come up with four.  Basically, if you can have tattoos removed, then you can have radiotherapy markers removed too! Yep, they are just 3 dots, No one sees them except me and MrLB (if he's lucky), it's just that they are a reminder of something that I don't want to be reminded of!  Yay!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 August, 2018, 08:02:14 pm
Why wouldn't they just tell you that, rather than you having to work it out?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 August, 2018, 08:17:39 am
While putting my bottles on the bike for yesterday's toddle I realized that the bag containing my spare tubes & levers was not on the bike but was attached to my SQR frame, and that that had remained upstairs in the bedroom with my Audax Super C for the last two weeks.

Div + Order of the Jammy Sod for that one, I think.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: tiermat on 21 August, 2018, 08:26:03 am
And it's exactly on the limit 'recommended' for enforcement of +10% & 2mph over.

That's wank. Pure revenue raising.

Or just bad luck - which if it continues, probably means I won't get the choice of a Speed Awareness Course as I've already done one (years ago). I was doing 35 in a 30 zone that time - again, right on the borderline. Sigh...

If it was more than 3 years ago, you will be in with a shout.

DNAHIKT
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 August, 2018, 08:46:15 am
Instead of buying the recommended power supply for my new looper pedal* I bought the one at the bottom of the page that came with extra cables.

The one I bought is centre positive, the one I need is centre negative :facepalm:


*not compatible with most bicycles
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 August, 2018, 12:22:28 pm
Centre negative is a work of Stan
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 21 August, 2018, 01:01:44 pm
Step 1. Spend about 30 minutes tearing things apart to find the Swiss power lead for my laptop for business trip. BECAUSE I'VE GOT ONE SOMEWHERE. Fail.

Step 2. Leave laptop power supply in its entirety at home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 August, 2018, 01:10:25 pm
Centre negative is a work of Stan

But seems to be standard for effects pedals, at least those that I own
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: lou boutin on 25 August, 2018, 08:12:09 am
Why wouldn't they just tell you that, rather than you having to work it out?

The medical tattooist told me that most ladies have the dots covered with a ribbon tattoo. When I nearly fainted at the sight of the tattoo machine, she agreed that perhaps that it wasn't a good idea for me to do that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 28 August, 2018, 10:33:46 am
Me, yesterday, on the phone to the bank:
"I have some standing orders that don't appear to have been paid, can you investigate?"
Nice chap at bank: "They will be paid on the next working day..."
Penny drops. It is a Bank Holiday in England!

(Quite why the bank computers need a holiday is a whole different question, but we won't go there...)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 August, 2018, 10:57:31 am
Don't knock it: Sneaking extra public holidays through parliament under cover of being an obscure bit of banking legislation was one of the UK government's greatest triumphs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 28 August, 2018, 01:10:17 pm
Me, yesterday, on the phone to the bank:
"I have some standing orders that don't appear to have been paid, can you investigate?"
Nice chap at bank: "They will be paid on the next working day..."
Penny drops. It is a Bank Holiday in England!

(Quite why the bank computers need a holiday is a whole different question, but we won't go there...)

Scottish banks observe English Bank Holidays, as I found to my cost when I left my purse containing RBS cards on a bus in Edinburgh late one August...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 28 August, 2018, 01:31:12 pm
This is an English/British bank.
The problem was that not all Scottish people observe English Bank Holidays, so I had forgotten that there was one...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 August, 2018, 01:40:27 pm
Obviously what's needed is an act of parliament requiring us all to observe each other's holidays, in the interests of uniting the United Kingdom.  The current lot are probably sufficiently scared of Scottish independence that they might go for it...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 28 August, 2018, 02:13:08 pm
over the weekend I was using my trangia to cook pasta (greenbelt festival) so had the 'frying pan' on top of the pan as a lid. I moved it to inspect the cooking progress.....


with my finger and thumb, as a metal pan over a pan of boiling water won't be hot will it.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 28 August, 2018, 06:32:57 pm
This is an English/British bank.
The problem was that not all Scottish people observe English Bank Holidays, so I had forgotten that there was one...

I didn't expect banks to be closed; it certainly didn't feel like a Bank Holiday. I was within a stone's throw of the HQ of the Royal Bank of 'Scotland'. (I know it's part of NatWest.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 28 August, 2018, 08:15:32 pm
Riding along a Dutch fietspad the bike felt a bit odd, like the front end was loose.....


The front end _was_ loose. I hadn’t used enough welly when retightening the S&S couplings after lubing them during the last service  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 August, 2018, 09:26:12 pm
Having sharpened my kindling axe, I did something today that only a complete fecking eejit would do. Once. Cue sore finger and blood dripping.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 29 August, 2018, 12:00:12 pm
Riding along a Dutch fietspad the bike felt a bit odd, like the front end was loose.....


The front end _was_ loose. I hadn’t used enough welly when retightening the S&S couplings after lubing them during the last service  :facepalm:

Way back when, Stuart Lemanski (whose mechanical woes are related in Michael Hutchinson's The Hour book) rode a 19-minute club '10', then, when wheeling his bike back into his house, lifted the front end and the wheel fell out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 August, 2018, 12:04:13 pm
This is an English/British bank.
The problem was that not all Scottish people observe English Bank Holidays, so I had forgotten that there was one...

I didn't expect banks to be closed; it certainly didn't feel like a Bank Holiday. I was within a stone's throw of the HQ of the Royal Bank of 'Scotland'. (I know it's part of NatWest.)
AIUI Bank Holidays in Scotland are holidays for banks but not for anyone else.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 29 August, 2018, 01:33:12 pm
This is an English/British bank.
The problem was that not all Scottish people observe English Bank Holidays, so I had forgotten that there was one...

I didn't expect banks to be closed; it certainly didn't feel like a Bank Holiday. I was within a stone's throw of the HQ of the Royal Bank of 'Scotland'. (I know it's part of NatWest.)
AIUI Bank Holidays in Scotland are holidays for banks but not for anyone else.
Do NOT get me started on Public Holidays in Scotland...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 29 August, 2018, 02:19:36 pm
Having sharpened my kindling axe, I did something today that only a complete fecking eejit would do. Once. Cue sore finger and blood dripping.

Ahem, I've still got the scar, some 55 years later, on my thumb, after a similar incident, chopping firewood.  I recall my late mum dragging me upstairs to the bathroom for repairs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 29 August, 2018, 02:20:00 pm
This is an English/British bank.
The problem was that not all Scottish people observe English Bank Holidays, so I had forgotten that there was one...

I didn't expect banks to be closed; it certainly didn't feel like a Bank Holiday. I was within a stone's throw of the HQ of the Royal Bank of 'Scotland'. (I know it's part of NatWest.)
AIUI Bank Holidays in Scotland are holidays for banks but not for anyone else.

I think that's right. PITA when you've left your purse on the bus but

this is the 'Fecking Div' thread...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 29 August, 2018, 09:08:04 pm
Just realised it's one kg of sugar to one kg of blackberries, not two, like the marmalade recipe.

Rats.  Tastes a bit sweet, but we'll see if it's edible in the morning.  Otherwise the dog and I will have to pick some more.  Took me a while to realise that he was emptying the tub almost as fast as I was filling it.  Once I'd explained to him how the system worked, he went off the pick his own, from those near ground level that I won't pick, as they are in dog leg-cocking range...….  He's not as fussy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 September, 2018, 09:26:21 am
Was a bit surprised the other day that the bill for wood & hardware that I bought to make a base for my new Bosch saw came to 116 €.

Was downright pissed off this morning to see an ad for a Bosch base for said saw: 119 €.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 01 September, 2018, 09:46:50 am
Was on holiday last week and couldn’t find my iPad despite being sure that I’d packed it. Got home yesterday and found it in a side pocket of my bag.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 02 September, 2018, 10:18:18 am
As I swept open my dressing gown and plonked myself down on the not, I failed to notice that one side of the towelling belt had dropped into the bowl.
Yes, dear reader.  I shat on it.

 :-X
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 02 September, 2018, 10:46:21 am
As I swept open my dressing gown and plonked myself down on the not, I failed to notice that one side of the towelling belt had dropped into the bowl.
Yes, dear reader.  I shat on it.

 :-X

No problem, wait for it to dry and you brush it off  :hand:

Rob
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 02 September, 2018, 01:55:56 pm
As I swept open my dressing gown and plonked myself down on the not, I failed to notice that one side of the towelling belt had dropped into the bowl.
Yes, dear reader.  I shat on it.

 :-X

I feel for you, but not literally.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 02 September, 2018, 02:10:13 pm
Obviously I meant I was sitting on the 'bog'.  Not the 'not', whatever that would be.  Still you seemed to have got that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 02 September, 2018, 02:52:11 pm
*chortle*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 02 September, 2018, 04:11:39 pm
Obviously I meant I was sitting on the 'bog'.  Not the 'not', whatever that would be.  Still you seemed to have got that.

At least it didn't come out as sitting on the boy.  I recommend a hot wash
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 02 September, 2018, 04:18:00 pm
Obviously I meant I was sitting on the 'bog'.  Not the 'not', whatever that would be.  Still you seemed to have got that.

I rather liked not as it was, especially since it means emergency in German.  When I was first in Stuttgart I used to look at the Notausgang signs in the tunnels and wonder why they labelled the doors that way if you couldn't go through them.

When you've been living outside the country for decades you approach any unfamiliar usage with caution, in case something that seems innocuous turns out to be unutterably filthy.  That's how I discovered the secondary meaning of glory hole.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 02 September, 2018, 09:38:15 pm
I spent the day at donnington park watching my uncle race his austin 7 special. All great fun and i hope some of my pictures came out ok.

However this div left his suncream in his tent. The back of my neck now feels rather tight and hot.

Mind you i wasn't racing in the locost caterham series who had 3 races and 4 red flags in the weekend including a race where 34 lined up for the start and before one lap was completed the red flag was out. Only 21 returned to the grid!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Aunt Maud on 02 September, 2018, 09:51:20 pm
Having sharpened my kindling axe, I did something today that only a complete fecking eejit would do. Once. Cue sore finger and blood dripping.

Ahem, I've still got the scar, some 55 years later, on my thumb, after a similar incident, chopping firewood.  I recall my late mum dragging me upstairs to the bathroom for repairs.

I tried to chop my foot off with an adze, luckily the boney bit in my shin stoped it going all the way across to the other side.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 03 September, 2018, 04:14:19 pm
Bought a long out-of-print book "Rudiments and Theory of Music" back in January.  Our new pup ate it a few weeks later.

Music teacher today referred me to it, so I thought I'd better buy another.  Found one 2nd hand on Amazon, and bought it.

Opened a drawer in my desk, looking for something else, and there was another copy of the book. Doh.  Must have bought a replacement copy, but I don't remember it.  Anno Domini.....  Maybe I'd better refer to it more often so that I know where it is.

Have emailed the seller to ask (nicely) for a cancellation.

(....crawls back under his stone....)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrew Br on 03 September, 2018, 04:33:00 pm
I put my bib shorts on back-to-front yesterday.
"Never mind" I thought, "take one leg out, spin them round and you'll be good to go" ................ :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 September, 2018, 04:59:48 pm
I messed up some git/gerrit pushes a couple of weeks back, so rather than cock it up further, asked an expert to sit with me and work through how to fix it.

Expert did so.

Get in to work this morning. Start working. Erm, this other file, that wasn't part of the submissions and changes. It seems to have reverted to a version from 2 months back . . .

I didn't make a backup before getting said expert to enter the majik incantations. My local copy has been overwritten with one from the head. Lost two months of updates. It is the main configuration file. Nobody else has a copy. I wasn't making daily or even weekly personal backups because it was on a server.

Arse
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 03 September, 2018, 06:52:04 pm
OUCH I feel your pain !
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 03 September, 2018, 07:04:35 pm
Quote from: mrcharly-YHT
I messed up some git/gerrit pushes...
*winces*

In less serious news...
When using thinned PVA to affix tissue to balsa, do not, the not bit is important,  put a small pool of cyano on the same bit of yoghurt pot lid that is serving as your PVA glue "pot" and do not, these nots are important, then try to clean your favourite* cut-down 00 glue applying brush in it rather than in the small pot of water that you have set out for that express purpose.

*Well, it was my favourite glue applying brush.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 September, 2018, 07:35:32 pm
I put my bib shorts on back-to-front yesterday.
"Never mind" I thought, "take one leg out, spin them round and you'll be good to go" ................ :facepalm:

Ha!  I caught my daughter wearing a shirt inside out on Saturday, at about 7pm!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 03 September, 2018, 07:46:26 pm
I put my bib shorts on back-to-front yesterday.
"Never mind" I thought, "take one leg out, spin them round and you'll be good to go" ................ :facepalm:

Ha!  I caught my daughter wearing a shirt inside out on Saturday, at about 7pm!

Probably  a young person fashion statement.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 September, 2018, 08:01:43 pm
I put my bib shorts on back-to-front yesterday.
"Never mind" I thought, "take one leg out, spin them round and you'll be good to go" ................ :facepalm:

Ha!  I caught my daughter wearing a shirt inside out on Saturday, at about 7pm!

Probably  a young person fashion statement.

Yep.  Everyone wears their clothes inside-out in 2015.  I saw it in the documentary Back To The Future II
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: iddu on 03 September, 2018, 09:33:22 pm
After taking the piss from the SO about backing the car into a post...when getting under cover to do a fill and respray, don't drive into the garage door and crumple the wing :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 03 September, 2018, 10:10:47 pm
I put my bib shorts on back-to-front yesterday.
"Never mind" I thought, "take one leg out, spin them round and you'll be good to go" ................ :facepalm:

Ha!  I caught my daughter wearing a shirt inside out on Saturday, at about 7pm!

Probably  a young person fashion statement.
She might be a professional tennis player.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 04 September, 2018, 07:57:11 am
In less serious news...
When using thinned PVA to affix tissue to balsa, do not, the not bit is important,  put a small pool of cyano on the same bit of yoghurt pot lid that is serving as your PVA glue "pot" and do not, these nots are important, then try to clean your favourite* cut-down 00 glue applying brush in it rather than in the small pot of water that you have set out for that express purpose.

I'd never do that.  No, not ever, never in fact...…………………..
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 September, 2018, 03:38:33 pm
I did that online 'heart age' test and was rather disappointed to have a heart age of 55...
... then I remembered that I am 60 now...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 04 September, 2018, 04:53:27 pm
I have a heart age of 54, somewhat older than I am, which was a little disappointing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 September, 2018, 04:57:02 pm
Mine was 40, and there didn't seem to be much I could do to reduce it.  Which is at least consistent with the rest of my body.

I had to lie about the family history, though, as there wasn't an 'unknown' option.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 September, 2018, 05:07:37 pm
Give the same answers but supply a random Hampstead postcode and see if that improves things!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 September, 2018, 05:14:57 pm
Surely there should be something about activity and exercise? Those are prime indicators of cardiovascular health (as is socio-economic status). My resting heart rate is about 42, which is half the pace of many people, so I'll live twice as long (and double that because I shop at Waitrose). Fact. I base this on shrews. They have really fast heart rates and don't live very long. Probably. I've never seen an old shrew anyway. In Waitrose. Possibly they go to Lidl.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 September, 2018, 05:18:57 pm
Give the same answers but supply a random Hampstead postcode and see if that improves things!

No change with Hampstead, Erdington or Gorbals, at which point I got bored.  But maybe that's because I've short-circuited some logic by not smoking etc.

Interestingly losing weight didn't make a jot of difference.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 September, 2018, 05:41:52 pm
I did the same test. Heart age of 57 (I'm 51).

The high rating was based on my BMI, according to the website (25.1).

Trouble is, I've had a very thorough health check recently, including a body fat measurement by electrodes, which stated I have a body fat level in the healthy range for a 20-year old.

I declare that NHS questionnaire to be utterly bunkum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 September, 2018, 05:55:59 pm
I declare that NHS questionnaire to be utterly bunkum.

Nahh, it's just another way of telling people who drink, smoke, eat all the pies and never exercise that maybe they're at risk of heart disease.  Fine as far as it goes, but not a scientific tool.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 04 September, 2018, 06:10:08 pm
Given that I’m something of a blob at the moment Is was very disappointed to see that losing weight only lowers my heart age by two year. So no real gains in losing weight then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2018, 06:17:16 pm
I did it once with my real postcode and once pretending I lived in Clifton Village (the "posh" bit of Bristol) and both times it said my heart was as old as I am. Which is perhaps disappointing given the things I could tell it for certain were my postcode, age and height.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 04 September, 2018, 06:36:03 pm
I don't know my current blood pressure or cholesterol level, so I put 'don't know' in for both of those.
I do know that the last time my blood pressure was checked the doctor said it was 'perfect' and that my cholesterol was very marginally high on one check about six years ago, but the last time it was checked it was OK. I just don't know the numbers.
So, putting 'don't know' for both those questions it gave me an age two years above my current one.
Taking the option to lower both, it brought my heart age down to my real age.

Has anyone managed to get a score lower than the calendar?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2018, 06:40:10 pm
I don't know my current blood pressure or cholesterol level, so I put 'don't know' in for both of those.
I do know that the last time my blood pressure was checked the doctor said it was 'perfect' and that my cholesterol was very marginally high on one check about six years ago, but the last time it was checked it was OK. I just don't know the numbers.
So, putting 'don't know' for both those questions it gave me an age two years above my current one.
Taking the option to lower both, it brought my heart age down to my real age.

Has anyone managed to get a score lower than the calendar?
Helly, a few posts ago.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 04 September, 2018, 06:42:39 pm
Helly, a few posts ago.
Oh, yes. I did see that, but on the phone at work. Wonder what the secret is?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 September, 2018, 06:53:15 pm
I don't know my current blood pressure or cholesterol level, so I put 'don't know' in for both of those.
I do know that the last time my blood pressure was checked the doctor said it was 'perfect' and that my cholesterol was very marginally high on one check about six years ago, but the last time it was checked it was OK. I just don't know the numbers.
So, putting 'don't know' for both those questions it gave me an age two years above my current one.
Taking the option to lower both, it brought my heart age down to my real age.

Has anyone managed to get a score lower than the calendar?

Me! As I posted upthread, it gave me an age of 55 and I'm 60.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2018, 06:58:10 pm
Helly, a few posts ago.
Oh, yes. I did see that, but on the phone at work. Wonder what the secret is?
The secret is Helly's healthy lifestyle. Either that or a new wonder pill she knows about, it's a secret not revealed to conventional medical science but which she is prepared to tell you about on receipt of appropriate payment.  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 September, 2018, 06:59:22 pm
Helly, a few posts ago.
Oh, yes. I did see that, but on the phone at work. Wonder what the secret is?

A very boring, blameless lifestyle and good genes.

I suspect, now I am 60, the algorithm might give me some credit for reaching this age without getting any of the obvious known risk factors.

I can tick all the right boxes.

I am fortunate in having forebears who last a long time and (don't drink, don't smoke - what do you do?) I'm not too blobby.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 04 September, 2018, 07:03:39 pm
I just drained some pasta using my Trangia pasta draining disk. Didn’t hold it on tight enough so that’s half my dinner on the sandy floor  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 September, 2018, 07:49:31 pm
Surely there should be something about activity and exercise? Those are prime indicators of cardiovascular health (as is socio-economic status). My resting heart rate is about 42, which is half the pace of many people, so I'll live twice as long (and double that because I shop at Waitrose). Fact. I base this on shrews. They have really fast heart rates and don't live very long. Probably. I've never seen an old shrew anyway. In Waitrose. Possibly they go to Lidl.

that was my conjecture as well, RHR of 45-50, bloody fit. Yes I'm diabetic, but T1, and BMI<22.  And no options for yes I smoke, but only the odd cigar now and then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 September, 2018, 09:45:40 pm
It told me my bp was high - everyone has always told me it's been great before. I could have mis-remembered of course.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 September, 2018, 11:55:47 pm
It told me my bp was high - everyone has always told me it's been great before. I could have mis-remembered of course.

I think they've moved the goalposts and now recommend a blood pressure below 120mmHg systolic.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 September, 2018, 04:32:42 am
Yesterday I bought some cheese, because I like cheese.  This evening I thought I would eat some of the cheese I bought yesterday because, as previously noted, I like cheese.  But soft!  Where is the cheese?

Q: Is it in the fridge?
A: No.  No, it is not.
Q: Is it, then, hiding under the biscuits in that carrier bag I brought all the way from Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles to exotic Canuckistan?
A: No.  No, it is not there either.

This leads me to conclude that the cheese, which I like, is in the other fridge.  In the room I vacated this morning.  In Smithers.  600 kilometres away.

Feck and, moreover, Arse!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 September, 2018, 09:39:05 am
Surely there should be something about activity and exercise? Those are prime indicators of cardiovascular health (as is socio-economic status). My resting heart rate is about 42, which is half the pace of many people, so I'll live twice as long (and double that because I shop at Waitrose). Fact. I base this on shrews. They have really fast heart rates and don't live very long. Probably. I've never seen an old shrew anyway. In Waitrose. Possibly they go to Lidl.

that was my conjecture as well, RHR of 45-50, bloody fit. Yes I'm diabetic, but T1, and BMI<22.  And no options for yes I smoke, but only the odd cigar now and then.

I couldn't get an heart age lower than my actual age, so cardiac youthfulness evaded me. I don't know my blood pressure (other than it was perfectly fine the last time the doctor tortured me) or cholesterol (never been tested), but pressing the buttons to lower my stats didn't un-age me. Basically, it told me I'm not a podge which I kind of kind of knew because I can still see my feet when I look down.

I sort of appreciate what tools like this are trying to do, but I think focus is misleading, there's a lot more that contributes to cardiovascular health and outcomes. Last time I was at the doctors, he was astounded that I swim every day.

I did see a shrew the other day. I didn't ask how old it was.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 05 September, 2018, 01:11:10 pm
Mr. L. It might be an idea to let your previous abode know of your suspicions.

Especially if the room will be unoccupied for a while.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 September, 2018, 08:27:37 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 05 September, 2018, 08:39:08 pm
I just opened my church choir music bag to run practice, and found the bottle of milk I brought home after the coffee morning on Sunday. At least the bottle was still sealed!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 September, 2018, 08:40:52 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
You can’t make posts of an ambiguous nature like this on this thread. We need details of your FDness. What do you think this is? FarceBrook??

  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2018, 06:11:57 am
Mr. L. It might be an idea to let your previous abode know of your suspicions.

Especially if the room will be unoccupied for a while.

That would require me to have a working telephone.  Ironically, the only place on the trip so far, other than Calgary airport, where it has actually connected to a network was in the cheese-afflicted motel.  But I would imagine the staff would check the fridge when they go in to do bed linen, towels and so forth.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 06 September, 2018, 06:38:42 pm
I turned onto the a4 cycleway in slough this evening and clipped the kerb with the non driveside wheel tipping the ez3 onto it's side. As I lay on the pavement gathering my wits I felt a right Pollack.no harm done except to my pride  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 06 September, 2018, 06:50:59 pm
As long as you are not too battered...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 06 September, 2018, 07:18:04 pm
Eel be fine.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 September, 2018, 08:03:43 pm
how embarrased? On a scale of 1-10?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 September, 2018, 09:03:58 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
You can’t make posts of an ambiguous nature like this on this thread. We need details of your FDness. What do you think this is? FarceBrook??

  ;D

sharp thing, concentration fail, finger, ouch, red, minor injuries
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 07 September, 2018, 07:56:37 am
how embarrased? On a scale of 1-10?
12  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 September, 2018, 01:26:47 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
Ooh, euro maths punctuation!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 07 September, 2018, 02:17:39 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
Ooh, euro maths punctuation!

does that make me a polymath?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 September, 2018, 04:25:03 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
Ooh, euro maths punctuation!

does that make me a polymath?
Not unless you're a counting parrot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 07 September, 2018, 05:19:18 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
Ooh, euro maths punctuation!

does that make me a polymath?
Not unless you're a counting parrot.

pieces of eight!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 September, 2018, 05:47:57 pm
I'm not doing well this week, attended minor injuries this lunchtime with a 1"/2,5cm/25mm (see gravel thread) gash along the top of my left index finger, requiring superglue and  butterfly closure.  Now with a dressing on and a mass of tubigrip to stop me bending it too much I'm realising how much the index finger is used.  Showering, typing, driving, etc. 

Outer dressing needs to stay on till friday, which may mean the use of lobster mitts for my ride as that's the only things that'll fit
Ooh, euro maths punctuation!

does that make me a polymath?
Not unless you're a counting parrot.

pieces of eight!
pieces of nine. Parroty error.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 08 September, 2018, 11:48:31 am
It is now a year since I stopped commuting by upwrong and switched to Brompton.  I am still walking away from my desk roughly once a fortnight fully kitted up and heading for the  basement.  The basement where the upwrong lived, which was under the square outside our building not under the building itself, was demolished 9 months ago.  The Brompton naturally lives under my desk.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 September, 2018, 01:33:56 pm
Drilled a side-dot hole into the edge of a painstakingly thicknessed, marked-up and slotted fretboard - a morning's work - and came up through the surface. :facepalm:

Knowing my penchant for buggering stuff up I was doing the fretboard before gluing it onto the neck so that's all that's lost, and I can use it on a guitar for myself, but this one has to be ready for someone's birthday next week. :shit:  At least I wasn't using ebony.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 September, 2018, 05:32:40 am
I just opened a sachet of sugar to put in my tea...

...and poured it into the bin instead of the mug :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 September, 2018, 09:13:24 am
Best place for it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 September, 2018, 01:39:53 am
Put my glasses down on the bed.  Put my elbow down on the glasses.  Glasses now only have one arm.

Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 September, 2018, 06:39:01 am
Oops. That's why the best place for them is your face...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 September, 2018, 07:20:24 am
I trust the elbow is still in good repair.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 September, 2018, 04:45:28 am
Arm at snappage point approximately 2 mm in diameter, so no damage to elbow.  But frames made of Ti, which is not supposed to break.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 September, 2018, 06:18:45 am
I've broken Ti frames before, fatigue failure on the bridge.

I had a helicopter wreck a stainless steel pair for me
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 September, 2018, 01:51:07 pm
FNRttC tonight, so obviously I just broke my rear light changing the flatteries.

To the soddering iron!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 21 September, 2018, 01:53:25 pm
FNRttC tonight, so obviously I just broke my rear light changing the flatteries.

To the soddering iron!

But, don't you know dahling? Flatteries are soooo last year.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 21 September, 2018, 02:00:20 pm

I had a helicopter wreck a stainless steel pair for me

There's posh for you - I have to break my own.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 24 September, 2018, 11:34:46 am
I sold an iPad recently. It'd been sat in a drawer for so long (it was a backup "just in case" device) I'd forgotten I'd ever set it up. So I just had to do a remote erase  ::-)  :hand:.  Thanks goodness for modern technology  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 24 September, 2018, 12:14:52 pm
Making coffee and loading the washingmangler are jobs which should be done separately. Having got the new-fangled front-loading whirling-television-of-textile-death loaded I caught myself pouring the contents of a just-boiled kettle onto the generous scoop of Fairy non-Bio in my coffee mug. :facepalm:

I need a Responsible Adult.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 September, 2018, 12:17:19 pm
"Want a coffee, Bert? Guy's just put the kettle on."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 24 September, 2018, 12:41:34 pm
Making coffee and loading the washingmangler are jobs which should be done separately. Having got the new-fangled front-loading whirling-television-of-textile-death loaded I caught myself pouring the contents of a just-boiled kettle onto the generous scoop of Fairy non-Bio in my coffee mug. :facepalm:

I need a Responsible Adult.
So, are the clothes being washed in nescafe?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 24 September, 2018, 01:06:20 pm
It's gone a bit quiet. Everything okay Guy?

Or is everything brown?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 24 September, 2018, 02:39:22 pm
Thankfully, I hadn't got as far as opening the coffee jar. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 24 September, 2018, 04:50:36 pm
I did once tak an almost full jar of instant coffee granules and just fill it with boiling water making an incredibly strong jar of coffee!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 24 September, 2018, 04:53:29 pm
I once put grapefruit juice in my coffee. OK, more than once. The result actually tastes worse than it sounds.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 24 September, 2018, 04:54:55 pm
Many moons ago where I worked had water boilers for the making of tea and coffee. Occasionally they went on the blink, and I had to resort to the vending machine. One such day I got a cup of milk - it wasn't uncommon for the vending machines to run out of one ingredient or other. So I went in search of coffee granules, and completed my beverage. Only to find that I have just put coffee into chicken soup.  :sick:  It's 35 years ago and I still shudder at the taste!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 September, 2018, 05:40:25 pm
I once put grapefruit juice in my coffee. OK, more than once. The result actually tastes worse than it sounds.

If Guy needs a"responsible adult" then I think you need 24/7 supervision...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 24 September, 2018, 07:44:19 pm
In the departmental common room at uni we had a coffee machine which started giving a random number of the ingredients needed to make what was ordered.
So your white coffee with sugar would come with some, but not all, of coffee, milk powder, sugar, hot water and a cup.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 September, 2018, 11:09:38 pm
Fairly standard for any 'loose ingredients' vending machine IME...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 September, 2018, 08:16:45 am
In the departmental common room at uni we had a coffee machine which started giving a random number of the ingredients needed to make what was ordered.
So your white coffee with sugar would come with some, but not all, of coffee, milk powder, sugar, hot water and a cup.

https://youtu.be/tWVPZHysyxc
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 25 September, 2018, 08:39:47 am
In the departmental common room at uni we had a coffee machine which started giving a random number of the ingredients needed to make what was ordered.
Made by Sirius Cybernetics? :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 25 September, 2018, 09:11:51 am
Many moons ago where I worked had water boilers for the making of tea and coffee. Occasionally they went on the blink, and I had to resort to the vending machine. One such day I got a cup of milk - it wasn't uncommon for the vending machines to run out of one ingredient or other. So I went in search of coffee granules, and completed my beverage. Only to find that I have just put coffee into chicken soup.  :sick:  It's 35 years ago and I still shudder at the taste!

Reminds me of the machine we had back in my first job 30-odd years ago. It was brilliant. Choc Hotolate? Press the button and hey-presto! Steaming paper cup of choc hotolate appears. Same for tea/coffee with/without milk and sugar. Oxtail soup? Ah. Um. You'd get the soup but...

Do you know how disgusting oxtail soup with two sugars is? :sick:

They never did fix that fault.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Morat on 29 September, 2018, 06:28:02 pm
Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 30 September, 2018, 10:54:55 am
Would it be bad of me to laugh?

If it helps, my enjoyment would be short lived. My busted ribs are part of the 'Down With Mirth Coalition'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 September, 2018, 04:24:13 pm
Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes :(
There's a lesson in there, and it's not about boilers or hangovers.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 October, 2018, 12:24:53 pm
I have clicked on the wrong train time for my return from Stirling.

I will now have to change at Edinburgh when direct trains were available.

Sorry LWaB!

It's an Advance Purchase ticket so changing the ticket would be spendy.

I are a nidiot!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 04 October, 2018, 12:35:34 pm
IIRC Stirling-Edinburgh trains stop at every lamp-post.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 October, 2018, 12:45:55 pm
Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes :(
There's a lesson in there, and it's not about boilers or hangovers.

The charitable version is that you know the CO alarm still works.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 October, 2018, 01:47:36 pm
IIRC Stirling-Edinburgh trains stop at every lamp-post.

Indeed they do! 7 intermediate stops twixt £ & Auld Reekie!

Consolation is that booked train arrives a whole 5 min before direct service and does have a cheaper ticket. Ho hum.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 October, 2018, 07:07:39 pm
Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes :(
There's a lesson in there, and it's not about boilers or hangovers.

The charitable version is that you know the CO alarm still works.
Hmm. That's a positive point, but the lesson I had in mind did not pertain particularly to Morat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 October, 2018, 01:02:20 pm
Before yesterday's ride, I had a gander in Open Runner at the BadenBaden3.gpx file El Prez had sent me.  Then copied BadenBaden2.gpx into my eTrex.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mcshroom on 07 October, 2018, 03:08:04 pm
So that would be why the mattress got caught up on my (ottoman) bed every time I lifted the mechanism! Those screw on loops are not handles, they're supposed to be screwed in the other side to stop the mattress moving  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 October, 2018, 10:49:17 am
Stubbed my toe on a step while walking up the small flight of stairs to my remote command centre. Ordinarily a minor swear, but I was holding a very full cup of coffee in my hand at the time.

It's the only carpeted area on the entire ground floor. Good job, I'm adept at cleaning up spills. Though they usually come from inside a cat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 October, 2018, 11:10:20 am
So that would be why the mattress got caught up on my (ottoman) bed every time I lifted the mechanism! Those screw on loops are not handles, they're supposed to be screwed in the other side to stop the mattress moving  :-[

It's amazing how often assembly/operating instructions will describe dead simple things in agonizing detail yet leave the not-obvious-at-all as an exercise for the student. Taking the back off my phone, for example, seemed to require force just short of breaking-point, but all the instructions said was "remove the back".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Salvatore on 19 October, 2018, 11:19:23 am
Before yesterday's ride, I had a gander in Open Runner at the BadenBaden3.gpx file El Prez had sent me.  Then copied BadenBaden2.gpx into my eTrex.

To avoid confusion he should have renamed it BadenBadenBaden3.gpx.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 20 October, 2018, 08:05:24 am
First thing Monday - set a new password at work.
Rest of the week, type the old password first every single time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 October, 2018, 10:26:44 am
I ordered some binary numbers for my wheelie bins. I got cross while trying to decide which font I wanted them in because the order form kept telling my I was below the minimum size for that font.

The numbers arrived this morning in an A4 card backed envelope.

I couldn’t find the numbers in the envelope so was cursing the supplier for efficiently getting it wrong. I then found the numbers sticky taped to the back of the invoice.

The 25mm numbers look cute on the wheelie bins, but lack the visual punch that the 25cm numbers I thought I’d ordered would have  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: lou boutin on 20 October, 2018, 10:35:33 am
Having just been discharged from a 4 day stay in hospital due to a chest infection, asthma and suspected sepsis, I'm now really confused about what I should and shouldn't eat. To protect myself as best as I can from getting cancer again, I should have soy products, fresh fruit, veg, nuts and seeds. However my asthma information says I should keep away from these.  As a vegetarian of 35 years I'm scuppered, I don't seem to be able to eat anything.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 20 October, 2018, 10:48:34 am
Caveat: I have no allergies to anything I've eaten. I don't have asthma and have never been treated for cancer.

Go shopping. Buy some stuff to eat that you fancy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: lou boutin on 20 October, 2018, 11:01:11 am
Yep I'm of the same persuasion. The asthma was only bad because of the chest infection. Eating to support my immune system will help. Also protecting against free radicals puts my mind at rest. Eating to enhance cognitive function makes a big difference to my daily wellbeing.  So I'm going to carry on eating soy, nuts, seeds, fruit and veg (obviously with the odd slice of cake in there too.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 20 October, 2018, 11:09:58 am
Cake. This. Very much...  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 October, 2018, 11:21:54 am
*chortle* at Beardy
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 21 October, 2018, 08:24:03 pm
Tipping a full glass of Delerium over my computer keyboard didn't improve its operation much.
It was my last bottle of Delerium too.  :'(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 October, 2018, 09:56:11 am
Aye well.  Last week I had a gut upset one evening and was utterly knackered the next day but pressed on with my current guitar build: I marked out & cut the fret-slots in a fretboard then went happily ahead and put the frets in then dressed the ends, which is a bloody fiddly process - the wood between frets has to be protected with masking tape and each fret gets its ends first shaped with a special file then polished with micromesh. I did all this diligently and contentedly, and was quite chuffed with the finished article.

That's when I realized that I should have glued the damn thing to the neck after slotting and before fretting, because you always make fretboard a fraction wider than the neck and take it down flush after gluing.

As a result I had to wrench two frets out to put in locating pins so that it wouldn't shift during clamping, which caused minor splintering around the slots. Clamping itself involved putting cauls between the frets and using every clamp in the shop instead of just half a dozen on to nice big cauls.   Once the glue had cured I couldn't plane down the edge but had to take it - and my nicely-dressed frets - down with a great big bastard file instead, then mask off the wood, dress & polish the fret-ends all over again, then take care of the splintering that remained visible once the two frets were back in.

Had to work through the weekend instead of cycling. Knackered today, but I've got to press on...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: tiermat on 22 October, 2018, 10:30:05 am
I ordered some binary numbers for my wheelie bins. I got cross while trying to decide which font I wanted them in because the order form kept telling my I was below the minimum size for that font.

The numbers arrived this morning in an A4 card backed envelope.

I couldn’t find the numbers in the envelope so was cursing the supplier for efficiently getting it wrong. I then found the numbers sticky taped to the back of the invoice.

The 25mm numbers look cute on the wheelie bins, but lack the visual punch that the 25cm numbers I thought I’d ordered would have  :facepalm:

Easy fix, order some dwarves to manage your bins...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 22 October, 2018, 10:55:03 pm
I ordered some binary numbers for my wheelie bins. I got cross while trying to decide which font I wanted them in because the order form kept telling my I was below the minimum size for that font.

The numbers arrived this morning in an A4 card backed envelope.

I couldn’t find the numbers in the envelope so was cursing the supplier for efficiently getting it wrong. I then found the numbers sticky taped to the back of the invoice.

The 25mm numbers look cute on the wheelie bins, but lack the visual punch that the 25cm numbers I thought I’d ordered would have  :facepalm:

Easy fix, order some dwarves to manage your bins...
Or, get one of those big magnifiers for televisions and stand it in front of the bin.

Or, send several pairs of binoculars to your local authority’s refuse collection depot.

Or, replace your house numbers with 25mm digits.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 October, 2018, 11:05:28 pm
Zap the bins with a shrink ray, and then the numbers will be the right size.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 22 October, 2018, 11:22:08 pm
If he’s got a shrink ray, why’s he worried about bin collection? He should be out there righting wrongs or toppling corrupt regimes.

At the very least, he could be shrinking his refuse so that the bin wouldn’t have to be emptied in his lifetime.

(Would shrunken refuse smell less, proportionately?)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 23 October, 2018, 04:58:45 am
surely a shrink ray can only be used for evil?

Stealing the moon or something, maybe threaten Trumpainia with shrinking it's biggest buildings to "make America small again!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 23 October, 2018, 08:43:51 am
If I had a shrink ray, then the obvious thing to do would be to concoct a feedback reversal function and make the numbers bigger. Duh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 October, 2018, 08:57:35 am
Presumably "binary numbers" is a pun, or have you actually labelled them in ones and zeros? It's the kind of geeky nonsensical thing that happens on YACF.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 23 October, 2018, 09:12:48 am
Much as I would like to claim that I have indeed labelled my wheel bins 11101, or indeed had even thought about doing so but rejected it, I have to report that is a consequence of an auto corrected typo which I did not pick up.
However, I’m now away to find out just how much it will cost to label my bins in base 2 😁
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 October, 2018, 02:22:39 pm
Zap the bins with a shrink ray, and then the numbers will be the right size.

Or get Father Dougal to be your refuse operative.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Steph on 23 October, 2018, 07:47:15 pm
Me. yesterday. Given an unwanted set of Hobbits films that I can download to Ultraviolet and watch while I am away.

Invalid code. Repeat ad nauseam.

So I e-mail the Sony help desk to find out WTF the problem is.

It wasn't WTF but WB. They are Warner Brothers films...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 25 October, 2018, 09:33:17 am
I forgot to take my camera out of my cycling jacket pocket. Did it get put in the washing machine and drownded utterly to deth? Yes. Yes it did  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 26 October, 2018, 05:07:46 pm
Relatively low on the logarithmic Feckingdiv Scale: I came out of my office just now and was greeted by a smell of burning dust in our bedroom. I crawled round the floor sniffing and feeling various wall warts, timers and adaptors, but all were cool and unsmelly. Turned off everything that was still on then went downstairs to announce the alarming news; only find that MrsT had lit our wood stove for the first time this winter. The summer's dust on top of the firebox always burns off & stinks rather alarmingly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 27 October, 2018, 03:41:34 pm
At a local Japanese restaurant last night, Idiot Boy managed to embarrass himself...

A dish of peas-still-in-their-pods arrived, along with an empty bowl for the discarded empty pods.
I didn't pay much attention, and by the time I looked over, both bowls were equally full.

Not having realised the situation, I assumed that both bowls contained the same thing, and ate everyone else's empty discarded pods thinking they were the dish!
"Hmm" I thought. "These are distinctly average!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 27 October, 2018, 05:10:53 pm
Peas or edamame beans?
Partner has form...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 27 October, 2018, 06:31:20 pm
Uuh, Dunno.
That thing you said sounds vaguely familiar, but I wasn't paying attention!

These little green buggers:

(https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1942/31712746828_3f8cc5fbb8_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/Qjm7M3)
Beans (https://flic.kr/p/Qjm7M3) by Ron Lowe (https://www.flickr.com/photos/62966413@N04/), on Flickr
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 27 October, 2018, 08:17:50 pm
you can eat the outside of the pods when young, it's the inner membrane that gets tough.  Still, you probably got "those" looks in the restaurant
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 27 October, 2018, 08:25:29 pm
Those are the buggers! There are usually two beans per pod and each bean is around 10 by 14 millimetres.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pumpkin on 09 November, 2018, 09:22:22 am
Having got a new pair of knee warmers via Ebay I put them down in the wrong place and wrong time and this resulted in one of them now having a small hole  >:( :( :( >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 09 November, 2018, 05:09:31 pm
Go to optician for contact lens and general eye checking, so I'm wearing my contact lenes. R is -5.25, L is -4.75.

Do the reading the letters thing, is it clearer like this or like this stuff and so on. My (corrected) vision isn't as good as it should be. Sucking of teeth from optician and scratching of head.


"Have you put them in the correct way round?"

<fx: replay putting in lenses this morning>
<fx: tolchocks self round gulliver>
"Ah. Yes"


>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 November, 2018, 01:34:29 pm
There's worse. One morning in 1972, after a somewhat boozy evening with friends, I drowsily put both of mine in the same eye then spent 10 frantic minutes hunting for the "lost" one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 10 November, 2018, 04:52:50 pm
Got a rather large hole in my left hand at the moment after managing to impale the bit under my thumb with a 5mm allen key which got nicely twisted internally.

One trip to A&E later, I now have a large bandage on and a clear instruction not to do any DIY for the next week. They did not put a stitch in it as the nurse said it would just pull out again if they tried.

Ouch and rather ouch. Teach me to watch half of a "how to" video on Youtube.... the safety warning was right at the end!

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 November, 2018, 05:06:41 pm
Just thinking about that is OUCH. 

Reminds me of my own divness re allen keys, I'd been looking for the 3mm from one set all round the shed for most of the summer.  Found it in the back pocket of my winter jacket.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 10 November, 2018, 06:08:24 pm
Just thinking about that is OUCH. 

Reminds me of my own divness re allen keys, I'd been looking for the 3mm from one set all round the shed for most of the summer.  Found it in the back pocket of my winter jacket.

I find all sorts of lost things where change of season jackets are concerned.  Not just cycling jackets. 
A watch I'd given up as lost. A purse with two tenners in.  Poo bags. Always poo bags.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 November, 2018, 08:20:35 pm
do you actually have a dog?  Otherwise I'd be very worried about that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 10 November, 2018, 08:33:29 pm
In 2 1/8" there are 17/8  not 19/8.

It took me half an hour to work out I'd got that basic bit of arithmetic wrong and that's why the lines were more than 1 3/4" apart.  Thank $deity MrsLurker does the household accounts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 10 November, 2018, 09:43:55 pm
In 2 1/8" there are 17/8  not 19/8.

For a minute there I was trying to understand why you had such an odd music time signature in quavers (maybe because I've been doing my music theory homework).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 November, 2018, 09:17:09 am
Just thinking about that is OUCH. 

Reminds me of my own divness re allen keys, I'd been looking for the 3mm from one set all round the shed for most of the summer.  Found it in the back pocket of my winter jacket.

All the same, there's a certain pleasure in finding something after you've bought a replacement, and thinking "hey, now I have TWO!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Russell on 12 November, 2018, 12:33:53 pm
I was prepping the folder to start a train/cycle commute in an effort to reduce the unreasonably long journey time.  I thought that it would be a good idea to waterproof the battery for the Chinese Cree LED light so I slipped the battery into two lastic bags and then put it all into the fabric pouch.  The bags were much too big so I got the scissors out and cut off the excess bags and cut the battery lead in half as well!

Soldering iron and heat shrink fixed the problem and I was able to shorten the lead as well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 26 November, 2018, 10:09:20 am
On Fridays, before I finish up, I check my calendar for meetings on the following Monday in case I have to travel.

This process would have been aided by checking on the right Friday, not one in December.

On the plus side, the trains were busy being screwed up, so I'd have been late anyway and if I'm going to be late, I'd rather it be because I'm sleeping.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 November, 2018, 10:26:36 am
This Friday has started well. I made coffee neglecting to empty the water from the pot into the coffeebot. So I had a pot of water. Fortunately, coffeebot has a no-grind mode so I could put the water in and re-attempt.

Then, finally armed with coffee, I spent an hour on a graphic that's basically a pie chart with spines coming out of it to link other charts. It looks pretty cool, even if I do say so. So I celebrated my early morning productivity with a second cup from the pot. Then came back, sat down, pushed back from my desk and looked at my work.

I've basically drawn a giant swastika.

Sigh. It's for a German customer too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 30 November, 2018, 11:04:50 am
 :o
Can we see it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 November, 2018, 11:12:48 am
Sadly, it's Top Secret. It's not an actual swastika, it just looks with the angles of the lines coming out of the pie-chart – well – a bit swastika-ish if you sit back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 30 November, 2018, 11:21:49 am
Especially if you come from somewhere that might be a bit sensitive about that sort of thing, you mean?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 November, 2018, 12:25:32 pm
Well, I suppose I have previous form with Hitler, so I might just go with it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 30 November, 2018, 12:28:08 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 30 November, 2018, 01:50:06 pm
Need any cat pics to go with it? http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigbest.pl
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 November, 2018, 02:15:47 pm
Stop it. Hitler is officially verboten for me, even though everyone thinks that it's the second best sales presentation they've ever seen*.

Reminds me though, I have an interview with the ELT in a couple of weeks for a new job, I need material.

*I know – second – first place goes to our former US sales director who having trudged through hundreds of dull slides, eyed up his somnolent mid-afternoon audience, cleared his throat and launched into a stentorian I Will Survive. The entire thing and, unexpectedly, he was really fucking good.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 02 December, 2018, 05:30:04 pm
I'm posting this on my wife's behalf...

She went to Reykjavik with her friend this weekend and should have been home by now, except they missed their plane because they were standing in the wrong queue for boarding.  :facepalm:

Fortunately, they're able to get a later flight so will be home tonight.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 December, 2018, 01:58:34 pm
I nearly got on a plane to New York instead of Denver once, but that was BA's fault for changing the departure gate and not shouting the news loudly enough.  Much undignified running across LHR T5 ensued.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 03 December, 2018, 02:02:41 pm
The airlines used to,get rather stressed if someone checked in their luggage and then didn’t show for the flight. Have they decided that no one could possibly get s bomb on board these days so it’s nto an actually problem.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 03 December, 2018, 02:17:55 pm
Think they still would.

Mind you, Michael Ryanair would probably whinge and bitch about lost revenue due to having to remove someone's bags...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 03 December, 2018, 02:23:20 pm
AIUI, there's a point in time when if you haven't turned up, they offload your bags even if you do turn up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 December, 2018, 02:53:40 pm
I was on a flight from ABZ to NWI one friday evening.

Pilot comes over the tannoy "welcome to this flight to Norwich".

Bloke in a row behind me stands up "I'm supposed to be going to Manchester!"

How TAF he managed to get onto the wrong airplane with two supposedly thorough checks inbetween I have no idea. I don't fly BMI any more.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 03 December, 2018, 03:07:33 pm
My wife was flying to Buenos Aires in September, on the Sunday evening she told me. On the Friday before I spotted that the flight actually departed on the Saturday evening.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 03 December, 2018, 03:59:56 pm
I was on a flight from ABZ to NWI one friday evening.

Pilot comes over the tannoy "welcome to this flight to Norwich".

Bloke in a row behind me stands up "I'm supposed to be going to Manchester!"

How TAF he managed to get onto the wrong airplane with two supposedly thorough checks inbetween I have no idea. I don't fly BMI any more.

An old boss of mine managed to get on the wrong plane (an Aer Lingus one) from Dublin once. I don't think its that rare that it happens, especially with multiple gate changes.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 03 December, 2018, 04:33:53 pm
A workmate of my partner managed to miss her flight home from holiday by turning up at the airport a full 24 hours late. Twice!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 03 December, 2018, 05:02:57 pm
For someone who flies a lot, while at the same time being a prime div, I've really missed very few flights – I'm weirdly paranoid about the entire trip planning. We did once-upon-a-time try to leave Carcassonne a day early, owing to my wife. When I pointed out that the mistake was hers (which it completely was) – well, let's just say it didn't end well for me. If it's my fault I should be told, routinely as a remember the time you... If it's hers, it's not to be mentioned ever.

Anyway, I'm here to put in for more div points. Last night, while pouring out a beer from a 750 ml bottle, I dropped it onto the worktop, making a nice dent in the oak, and also causing a jet of beer to erupt from the top. For the first time in my life, a misspent youth that involved learning to kegstand came in useful in reducing the mess (and minimizing tasty beer wastage). I don't think you need another, said my wife. I wouldn't mind but that was the first. In my defence, I had a residual olive oil on my hands from tossing some veg and the bottle had developed a sheen of condensation.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 December, 2018, 03:00:09 pm
I managed to turn up a whole week early for an appointment on Saturday  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 07 December, 2018, 04:50:44 pm
Seething. Ordered four new tyres for Hercules le Peugeot. Got the size wrong.

Fucksake! I used to do this for a living. Seriously, you DICK!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 07 December, 2018, 07:45:47 pm
Seething. Ordered four new tyres for Hercules le Peugeot. Got the size wrong.

Fucksake! I used to do this for a living. Seriously, you DICK!
It sounds like it’s probab as well that you don’t do it for a living anymore  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 07 December, 2018, 09:28:25 pm
You can go off people . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 07 December, 2018, 10:02:31 pm
 O:-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 07 December, 2018, 10:45:11 pm
You can go off people . . .

No, you just get tired of them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 December, 2018, 12:27:25 am
 :'(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 08 December, 2018, 07:26:18 am
Beardy, if it wasn't clear, that "tired" was actually really invisibly spelled "tyred" and directed at Tors.....

I have previous in deliberately not adding smilies.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 December, 2018, 09:16:03 am
 :thumbsup:

Just my paranoia getting the better of me then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 08 December, 2018, 09:50:08 am
Turned up at the dentist at 10:15 together with missus for 10:20 am appointment, only to find out that it was scheduled for 11:20. Ho hum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 08 December, 2018, 11:39:39 am
Seething. Ordered four new tyres for Hercules le Peugeot. Got the size wrong.

Fucksake! I used to do this for a living. Seriously, you DICK!
It sounds like it’s probab as well that you don’t do it for a living anymore  ;D


If I hadn't changed direction 6 years ago I'd probably be about a third the way through a prison sentence for wounding with intent or summat...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 December, 2018, 02:50:44 pm
Cutting a rectangular hole for a pickup in a pic printed on 1mm aluminium. Drilled a hole for each corner. Dremeled out 3 sides perfectly. When cutting the last, narrow, side I let the cutting disc sink too far, and while I was carefully cutting to meet the hole at corner D the other edge went 5 mm beyond the hole at corner C.  Arse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 13 December, 2018, 03:01:44 pm
Cutting a rectangular hole for a pickup in a pic printed on 1mm aluminium. Drilled a hole for each corner. Dremeled out 3 sides perfectly. When cutting the last, narrow, side I let the cutting disc sink too far, and while I was carefully cutting to meet the hole at corner D the other edge went 5 mm beyond the hole at corner C.  Arse.

Not only me then...….albeit rectangular holes in plywood for mounting radio-control servos.  I now have to remind myself to watch both sides of the disc.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 December, 2018, 05:11:12 pm
I have a right-angle drive on my Christmas list - it would have made life a lot simpler.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 December, 2018, 08:00:15 pm
I have a feeling I forgot to pack any socks. At least I’m going somewhere warm.

I may have forgotten other stuff. The danger of travelling the day after the Christmas party.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 14 December, 2018, 08:04:01 pm
passport - check
laptop - check
drugs - check
anything else - buy on arrival
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 December, 2018, 09:12:54 pm
passport - check
laptop - check
drugs - check
anything else - buy on arrival
Only if you’ve not forgotten your wallet!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 January, 2019, 04:41:04 pm
I was getting a tin of mushy peas out,of the cupboard to have with my Cornish pasty when my sleeve caught the top of the bottle of Lee and Perins. All would have been well had I not tried to catch it, inadvertently knocking the bottle cap first into the lower cupboard shelf. The carnage just escalated from that point as the bottle, now with end over end rotational momentum, spun towards the floor. Miraculously the bottle did not become many pieces upon impact, but in terms of the process of marinading half the kitchen in Worcestershire sauce, this minor aspect didn’t really reduce the mess. There was a brown slick spreading into the floor and splashes of the damn sauce EVERYWHERE. Dr Beardy, (Mrs) was not a happy cohabitatee.  :facepalm:

Dog, thoughbut, that stuff stinks...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 January, 2019, 11:06:34 pm
Fortunately I noticed just in time that the stuff I was about to apply to my achey breaky back was not Bells Muscle Rub but Ronseal Wood Filler.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 January, 2019, 08:23:53 am
<splort>

How's the woodwork chez Larrington, then?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 January, 2019, 10:11:06 am
very supple and limber
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 January, 2019, 06:45:11 pm
No, the reason that door won't close is not because of the power and network cables running under the carpet.  It is because your finger is between the door and the jamb.

Ow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 10 January, 2019, 06:54:24 pm
Not me, but a colleague deserving of an honourable mention.  Forty mile drive to the office today for an 0800 meeting.  Come 08:15 and no-one else having turned up he 'phones one of them to find out what's up.  Meeting is four weeks today.  Laugh? We pissed ourselves. :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 12 January, 2019, 11:06:09 pm
Steak for dinner. Decided to make a cheeky sauce to go with it, so after cooking the steak and putting it aside to rest, I poured a glug of brandy into the pan to deglaze it...

Only I'd picked up the wrong bottle and instead had sploshed in a generous measure of salted caramel cream liqueur*.

Hmmm. First thought was what the heck, how bad can it be? But after a few seconds of the creamy liquid bubbling away, the smell hit my nose...  :sick:

Luckily the steak was perfectly delicious without a sauce.



*imagine Baileys but even more sickly sweet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 January, 2019, 10:00:41 am
Bare feet.  Wooden stairs.  Bounce, Mr L, bounce, like the innocent Derek Bentley!

Hurty shoulder.  Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 14 January, 2019, 10:23:03 am
You're a sick man, Dave!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 14 January, 2019, 02:13:43 pm
Hop you're not hurty for long, MrL!

SO glad I bought fall-friendly stairs with this house!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 January, 2019, 04:25:31 pm
One of our dogs missed a step the other day and slid backwards all the way down. He looked just the way you'd expect a cartoon dog to look. He was OK after, trotted up again happily.

No dogs were hurt in making this post.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 January, 2019, 02:40:55 am
Monday's planned room-jibbling involved doing stuff above head height and wrestling with heavy metal things.  It is on hold.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 15 January, 2019, 01:33:50 pm
Me, shortly heading out to triathlon club swim session, thinks "I should just check Facebook in case this evening's coach has posted asking us to bring pull buoys". I check. Nothing. Good. I then remember that this evening's coach is my husband...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pumpkin on 16 January, 2019, 10:23:32 am
Raining hard this morning so decided to use the car part way. So bike/shoes/helmet/overshoes all in car and off I go. Now where is my expensive rain-jacket?? Oh, it's hung up nice and dry in the garage  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 January, 2019, 12:21:28 pm
What's the name for a person who is building a vegetable storage drawers (c 800 x 600 x 1000 mm) requiring millimetric precision, is very pleased with themselves having planned meticulously to discover that they have sufficient material - just - who then proceeds to cut out all the pieces, again meticulously, then makes the cut out required to 16 of said pieces on the fly only to discover that 20mm too much has been removed, preventing said item from being supported? Oh, yes, I think I know  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 18 January, 2019, 01:09:07 pm
What's the name for a person who is building a vegetable storage drawers (c 800 x 600 x 1000 mm) requiring millimetric precision, is very pleased with themselves having planned meticulously to discover that they have sufficient material - just - who then proceeds to cut out all the pieces, again meticulously, then makes the cut out required to 16 of said pieces on the fly only to discover that 20mm too much has been removed, preventing said item from being supported? Oh, yes, I think I know  ::-)

Not just me then...….. :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 18 January, 2019, 01:37:03 pm
"Measure twice, cut once. I've cut it three times and the bastard's still too short...!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Greenbank on 18 January, 2019, 01:39:59 pm
Measure once, buy twice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 18 January, 2019, 02:07:45 pm
Measure twice, cut once, get a professional in to sort out the fuck up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 18 January, 2019, 02:12:31 pm
The last-but-one owner of my house: "Measure once, cut once, beat to fit or use longer nails to bridge the gap."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 January, 2019, 02:31:45 pm
Think twice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 18 January, 2019, 08:58:00 pm
Just another day for you and me in paradise...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 January, 2019, 10:38:22 am
Measure once, believe figures on the Happy Swedish Halls of Joy's webby SCIENCE once, bodge serially.

^^^^ That's the story of the Estate Office relocation, right there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 January, 2019, 06:52:31 pm
TFW you realise that not only do you have all your holiday washing to do, but a basket full that you failed to do before you went away  :facepalm:
And it's winter so no drying outside or in the wash house  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 January, 2019, 07:04:45 pm
Hot chocolate.  Warms you twice.  Once when you drink the mug you've just made,  the second time when you have to get the hoover out to clean up the half tub of powder you spilt on the kitchen floor  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 January, 2019, 09:53:39 am
The first time your Cateye light makes a bid for freedom from its bracket, that should be taken as a cue to replace the bracket (a mere £4.50 from Evans).

The second time it happens, this is a warning that you really should do something about it very soon.

The third time it happens... damn.  :facepalm:

Fortunately, it's just the battery cartridge casing that's broken, not the light itself, and the battery is - in theory - replaceable. Only it's an older model (Volt 700) and I have so far had no luck finding anything on the interwebs. I would try to repair the battery but the wires have become disconnected and I don't think it would be such a good idea to wield a soldering iron near a Li-ion battery.

The real shame is that it's an excellent light that has served me well for over four years. The Volt 700 was superseded by the Volt 800 which aiui is identical except for being the one with the bigger lumens, and I would happily get a new one... if only I could afford to spaff away £90 for no good reason (wiggle seems to have them for £57 but that's still more than I've got in the petty cash tin at the moment).

Also note: at this time of year, it's a good idea not to leave your bike outside overnight as the rear derailleur may freeze solid, leaving you stuck in your lowest gear for the mad dash to the station. Also, when you eventually get to the station (in time to see your train pulling away) you may find that your lock is frozen too and it takes a good ten minutes to defrost it enough to get the key in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 January, 2019, 11:24:13 am
Every night, I unscrew top from my Merker razor, rinse under tap and wipe greasy shaving cream off side of blade with finger. reassemble. Takes about 10s.

Except that last night, I'm deep in thought about work stuff, I don't wipe greasy stuff off side with finger, I slide finger down the edge. Slide - finger - down - edge of new feather blade.

Straight down to the bone before I even felt it. Fuck. It actually sprayed across the sink onto the tiles before I could grab finger with the other hand. Thought I might have to head into A&E for a minute, but managed to get it to stop bleeding.

effing egit
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 January, 2019, 11:40:28 am
Quote
Also note: at this time of year, it's a good idea not to leave your bike outside overnight as the rear derailleur may freeze solid, leaving you stuck in your lowest gear for the mad dash to the station. Also, when you eventually get to the station (in time to see your train pulling away) you may find that your lock is frozen too and it takes a good ten minutes to defrost it enough to get the key in.

Reminds me of an old traffic police tale...

Two ossiffers were on motorbike patrol on a foggy frosty morn. At a filling station they espied a fellow biker having difficulty with a locking fuel cap and wandered over to see if they could help. The frozen lock stubbornly refused to yield until one of the cops whipped out the old chap and proceeded to apply warm fluid to the affected area.

The biker said thank you, filled up with fuel and toddled off into traffic. the ossiffers went about their daily duty with the satisfaction of a job well done, another memberof the public helped on their way.

A couple of weeks later they were called to the Chief Inspector's office, where the boss read them a letter from a member of the public. 'Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you for the kind assistance your ossiffers rendered to my daughter during the recent cold spell. She was unable to remove the filler cap from her motorcycle as the lock had frozen overnight...
Yours Sincerely, Reverend...'
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 24 January, 2019, 01:23:15 pm
Every night, I unscrew top from my Merker razor, rinse under tap and wipe greasy shaving cream off side of blade with finger. reassemble. Takes about 10s.

Except that last night, I'm deep in thought about work stuff, I don't wipe greasy stuff off side with finger, I slide finger down the edge. Slide - finger - down - edge of new feather blade.

Straight down to the bone before I even felt it. Fuck. It actually sprayed across the sink onto the tiles before I could grab finger with the other hand. Thought I might have to head into A&E for a minute, but managed to get it to stop bleeding.

effing egit
Ooh, aaahhhhh.. I've gone all woosy.  Warm/cold, sweaty.....

Deep breath.  Head between knees. 

I have a Merkur razor, and I use Astra Platinums.  But I rinse it under the tap when done.  Ooooooh, aaaaaah.  I need to sit down....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 24 January, 2019, 01:24:27 pm
I never attempt to clean mine other than a rinse when I'm done. Seems safer all round.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 January, 2019, 01:26:14 pm
Old toothbrush? Shifts the soapy clag when you're changing the blade...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 January, 2019, 01:31:28 pm
OldWife's toothbrush?

FTFY ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 January, 2019, 01:32:56 pm
Ooh, aaahhhhh.. I've gone all woosy.  Warm/cold, sweaty.....

Deep breath.  Head between knees. 

Aye. There's something about blades that even just reading about stuff like this has the same effect on me.

No pictures, please and thank you, mrcharly. Never.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 January, 2019, 03:48:54 pm
I have long track record of this sort of thing. Garden fork (very blunt one) through wellies and foot. When I was 4.
Knife through hand (cutting leather) as youth.
Dropped paring knife - wife saw it drop from my hand and heard it hit something solid. "Was that the floor?" she asks "No, my toe" It bounced, off the bone. Didn't even stick in, just made the same noise as if it had landed on wood.

etc
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 January, 2019, 04:58:58 pm
Have you thought about growing a beard?  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 24 January, 2019, 06:15:24 pm
Ouch, Ouch , Ouch  :jurek:      As a fellow Feather user you have my deepest sympathy. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: yorkie on 24 January, 2019, 06:35:44 pm
Have you thought about growing a beard?  :D

Why do you think I grew a beard?  ;) (Well, it's more "stopped shaving" than "grew a beard", but it's (more or less) the same result!)  :-D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 24 January, 2019, 06:59:29 pm
The demands of Tidy Hair still require some razor topiary of the facial shrubbery twice a week.

I have recounted the story of my PhD thesis before, but it hurt, so I'm milking the anecdote. I printed out the five copies of my erudite masterpiece and stacked them neatly in the box the paper came in ready to take to the binders. But they didn't fill the box, so I thought I'd trim off the top of the box to make it less bulky for transport. Looking around for a suitable cardboard device I did espy a surgical scalpel. Aha!

Anyway, I had to print off another five copies and I still have the scar across the base of my thumb. When they say blood, sweat, and tears go into these things, apparently they don't mean literally.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 25 January, 2019, 06:02:08 am
Twice a week!

In these parts, the angry weasel gets let out to do its thing about twice a month. Maybe that's why its so angry.

On topic, can I just say bowsaw, new blade, test for sharpness, skips onto back of index finger, yes that's very sharp indeed.  Superglue and steristrips for that one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 25 January, 2019, 09:43:53 am
I also do my eyebrows, ears, and nostrils. I am man not gorilla. I think I might be turning metrosexual or something.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 30 January, 2019, 03:55:30 pm
Me today as I drive into the work offsite car park

Quote
oh that's icy *drives gingerly*

Me as I then walk out of the car park to the office. *whoosh* *Splat* feet went right with the camber and I landed on the heel of my left hand.

4 hours later with a swollen and stiff wrist I went home via the minor injuries unit. One fracture in my left wrist.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 30 January, 2019, 04:27:59 pm
Me today as I drive into the work offsite car park

Quote
oh that's icy *drives gingerly*

Me as I then walk out of the car park to the office. *whoosh* *Splat* feet went right with the camber and I landed on the heel of my left hand.

4 hours later with a swollen and stiff wrist I went home via the minor injuries unit. One fracture in my left wrist.
Ouch. GWS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 January, 2019, 04:37:56 pm
Gosh, I hope you weren't on company property because they might have a duty of care to ensure that such an accident didn't happen by ensuring such surfaces had been appropriately gritted, and well, you would like a new bicycle, wouldn't you?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: diapsaon0 on 30 January, 2019, 04:42:00 pm
Gosh, I hope you weren't on company property because they might have a duty of care to ensure that such an accident didn't happen by ensuring such surfaces had been appropriately gritted, and well, you would like a new bicycle, wouldn't you?

Similar thing happened to me, many years ago.  I was advised to make an insurance claim and - several years later - got a very respectable pay out as the fall aggravated an old back injury and meant I had to give up my job.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 January, 2019, 04:46:48 pm
Many years ago I slipped in the stairs at a train station. Despite the clear fact that it was winter and the forecast for sub-freezing weather, they'd not bothered with any kind of precaution.

That omission worked out rather expensive. And I doubt I was the only one who slipped.

All said, I would have swapped the money for not having a sore coccyx for about six months afterwards.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 January, 2019, 05:40:22 pm
Gosh, I hope you weren't on company property because they might have a duty of care to ensure that such an accident didn't happen by ensuring such surfaces had been appropriately gritted, and well, you would like a new bicycle, wouldn't you?

The duty of care is not an absolute duty to remove all possible hazards.  However, given the well publicised weather expectations, it's not an unreasonable expectation in this case.

My sister did exactly the same on a patch of ice on our garden path one evening, aged about 14.  She still says it was on the other side of the path in the morning
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 30 January, 2019, 05:57:52 pm
Not on company property, the company owned car park was gritted but the council parking where they lease spaces and particularly the access road was not gritted as it is not land owned by the company and not in their control.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 02 February, 2019, 07:35:15 pm
So why can't I find coverage of the Superbowl on TV, Oh yes, because it's tomorrow.

I know!  I only watch the first quarter and then fall asleep
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 03 February, 2019, 01:53:35 pm
I had sore bloody everything on the hills yesterday, but that was because I'd taken out my old bike without checking anything and I'd lent a bloke the SQR block that was on it then put the saddle back an inch too low.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 04 February, 2019, 12:42:41 pm
How on earth does a grown-up take a swig of coffee and manage to completely miss his mouth?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 February, 2019, 01:01:20 pm
How on earth does a grown-up take a swig of coffee and manage to completely miss his mouth?  :facepalm:

Paging Ted Striker.  Ted Striker to the white courtesy phone please...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 04 February, 2019, 01:06:08 pm
How on earth does a grown-up take a swig of coffee and manage to completely miss his mouth?  :facepalm:

Would you like lessons? Can be arranged, reasonable cost.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 05 February, 2019, 09:26:29 pm
Slightly OT but helpful hopefully when sawing with a bow saw, we any saw really if when starting you cross your hand over so holding hand over cutting hand if and when the same slips you just get a blunt metal against the bottom of your arm. That's a Ray Mears tip.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 February, 2019, 10:00:28 pm
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 05 February, 2019, 10:06:55 pm
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...
Hopefully, they were your trousers....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 05 February, 2019, 11:16:20 pm
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...

I wouldn't dare ask who was responsible and why you had to put them on in such a hurry...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 February, 2019, 11:40:04 pm
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...

I wouldn't dare ask who was responsible and why you had to put them on in such a hurry...

I am a fecking div qed.

I was in no hurry.
I was totally responsible.
My trews are elasticated 'pull-up' things.

My only excuse is that I need to sit cross-legged to haul my weak limbs into clothing and got it wrong this time (and the elasticated waistband is six inches too loose).
I didn't notice most of the day.

I'm such a fecking div...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 05 February, 2019, 11:47:31 pm
Yarp.

 ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 06 February, 2019, 04:21:53 pm
This a.m., Mrs Ham informs me that she's having her hair done today. I may not have listened fully (shirley knott?) and thought that this activity was replacing her normal Wednesday a.m. swim. So, when she comes back for lunch I look at her barnet, think, well that looks pretty OK, pretty much as was, so that's good isn't it? I'd better say THE WORDS otherwise I'll be in trouble. "Your hair looks nice dear". Oh my. Oh my my my. Oh my my my my my my my. Yes, that's right,  the hair appointment is this pm. I got that RONG.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 February, 2019, 04:27:09 pm
So, when she comes back for lunch I look at her barnet, think, well that looks pretty OK, pretty much as was, so that's good isn't it? I'd better say THE WORDS otherwise I'll be in trouble. "Your hair looks nice dear". Oh my. Oh my my my. Oh my my my my my my my. Yes, that's right,  the hair appointment is this pm. I got that RONG.

I am rofling out of recognition and sympathy, not schadenfreude.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 06 February, 2019, 04:29:02 pm
This a.m., Mrs Ham informs me that she's having her hair done today. I may not have listened fully (shirley knott?) and thought that this activity was replacing her normal Wednesday a.m. swim. So, when she comes back for lunch I look at her barnet, think, well that looks pretty OK, pretty much as was, so that's good isn't it? I'd better say THE WORDS otherwise I'll be in trouble. "Your hair looks nice dear". Oh my. Oh my my my. Oh my my my my my my my. Yes, that's right,  the hair appointment is this pm. I got that RONG.

Ah, reminds me of one of the recurring themes in Monkey Dust  ;D

https://youtu.be/ulYYFw2XfBI

https://youtu.be/2gJgsNmrtBc
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 06 February, 2019, 04:57:59 pm
This a.m., Mrs Ham informs me that she's having her hair done today. I may not have listened fully (shirley knott?) and thought that this activity was replacing her normal Wednesday a.m. swim. So, when she comes back for lunch I look at her barnet, think, well that looks pretty OK, pretty much as was, so that's good isn't it? I'd better say THE WORDS otherwise I'll be in trouble. "Your hair looks nice dear". Oh my. Oh my my my. Oh my my my my my my my. Yes, that's right,  the hair appointment is this pm. I got that RONG.

I find it easier to 'deliberately' pretend not to notice, than when I don't actually notice, I'm off the hook since she doesn't know whether I've genuinely not noticed or I'm simply pretending not to have noticed in order to wind her up.

Marriage is really just a theatre for more advanced forms of psychological warfare.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Nuncio on 07 February, 2019, 03:05:02 pm
If you're sitting on the garage floor, head down, comparing chain lengths, and the legs of the stand (with bike on it, sans chain) are not fully splayed, and something happens to upset the equilibrium of said stand, then you may find, unexpectedly, that the bike and stand are on top of you with the chainring having taken a bit of your scalp off on the way down, and blood is splattering on the garage floor. And you may wonder, as you try and extricate yourself, if you'll admit to being a fecking div on a public forum. And you may wonder who the first wit will be, in response, to ask why you weren't wearing a helmet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 07 February, 2019, 03:54:23 pm
If you're sitting on the garage floor, head down, comparing chain lengths, and the legs of the stand (with bike on it, sans chain) are not fully splayed, and something happens to upset the equilibrium of said stand, then you may find, unexpectedly, that the bike and stand are on top of you with the chainring having taken a bit of your scalp off on the way down, and blood is splattering on the garage floor. And you may wonder, as you try and extricate yourself, if you'll admit to being a fecking div on a public forum. And you may wonder who the first wit will be, in response, to ask why you weren't wearing a helmet.


Ok I'll bite, why weren't you wearing a hard hat?  :demon:

More importantly How is the bike?  ;)

GWS  :-*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Nuncio on 07 February, 2019, 04:43:42 pm
Just because.

Bike fine. Head fine, thanks - the bleeding stopped surprisingly quickly - 5 mins of pressing down hard with a wad of kitchen paper did it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 07 February, 2019, 08:39:28 pm
I hope you had previously cleaned the chainset manky grease in the cut would not be nice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 07 February, 2019, 08:55:07 pm
'Blimey, I must've been in zombie mode this morning, as I don't remember putting the rear pannier with my lunch and work clothes in on the bike.'

(Looks back whilst cycling.)

'Ah, I don't remember doing so, 'cos I didn't do so!'

Had to go commando and buy lunch at the expensive work cafe.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 12 February, 2019, 08:26:53 am
Not sure I qualify, yet, but time will tell.

After a thorough, 3 month clear out of my garage/workshop, buying some new (or new to me) workshop tools that I'd long hankered after, I've spent the past month staring at a thoroughly tidy and sorted, but empty void. The garden fence is sorted, the dog training is going well, my sax learning is progressing, and my recumbents have every new part they could wish for.  There's nowt left to do.  Other than slide, inexorably, towards a bib when I dribble, and general decrepitude, thinking back on what I might have achieved if only I'd known then what I know now.

No longer.  After some deliberation (well, about an hour) I've taken delivery of a non-running, Canadian re-imported, Triumph 750.  Fortunately with the management's support.

I have form with British motorcycles, my last one carrying me on a daily 95 mile round trip into London every day when working in Victoria St in the late '70s.  It was the only way I could afford the commute, but it was very heavy on bike maintenance, so I learned my Triumph Twins.

Having retired, and worked through the initial to-do list, I was bored, I needed a tinkering and fettling project.  Hence a return to mucky fingernails (my sax teacher will love that..), long hours searching the internet for parts and advice, and the smell of Jizer (or maybe Muc-off now) in the workshop.

It turns over, has good compression and clearly has done nothing since the engine was re-bulit.  But why did they seem to use any fastener they had to hand when they put the engine back together and couldn't find the bolt they'd taken out?  If that was their mentality, are there any gremlins inside the engine that I can't see?  But there are a number of small parts with it that I'll need, and clearly the original owner had intended to get it running again.  But why did he stop?  Too big a job, a major fault?  Or a simply few years ahead of me on the slippery slope.

But, it has new tyres, the chrome is good, wheels are good, and it's almost all there.

I just hope this isn't going to qualify me as the Div of all time.....  I just hope.......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 12 February, 2019, 12:00:42 pm
It's a mechanical horse. You know, like a bicycle with an engine.  ;D

Get a workshop manuel* and start again. After all, would you climb someone else's scaffolding? While you're there fit leccy ignition and make sure the carbs are in good nick.

Not a div at all. Welcome back to the world of PTWs.


* Because 'I know NOTHING'**

** J. H. Haynes R.I.P.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 12 February, 2019, 01:33:14 pm
My dear wife and I are going to Spain in about 10 days' time. We decided that perhaps it might be a good idea to take out some travel insurance so we went onto the Saga website, filled in all the details, paid the necessary money and then checked the email that arrived, It suggested that I log on to their website to see all the necessary details, so I did.

Imagine my complete surprise when I found some existing travel insurance which I took out last year before our trip to Austria, and which expires on 30th August this year. I therefore phoned up to cancel the insurance that I instigated this morning.

It's Saga. They expect this sort of thing. Perhaps they should change their name go Ga-ga.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 12 February, 2019, 01:36:02 pm
It's a mechanical horse. You know, like a bicycle with an engine.  ;D

Get a workshop manuel* and start again. After all, would you climb someone else's scaffolding? While you're there fit leccy ignition and make sure the carbs are in good nick.

Not a div at all. Welcome back to the world of PTWs.

* Because 'I know NOTHING'**

** J. H. Haynes R.I.P.

 ;D  I've attempted divishness mitigation already - the Haynes manual is on the way.  And it's already got Boyer ignition - I fitted that to my 68 Daytona, what a difference.  And, since it's a Tiger, it's only got one carb, so that further mitigates the div potential. Just about to get the Muc-off out and attack the undersides so I can put the centre stand back on.  That should also reduce the div potential so it won't fall off its side stand. Past experience is showing here - and whatever I can do to further reduce the div potential will be done.  Ahem.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 February, 2019, 01:53:11 pm
Birmingham City Council are well-known divs, so there is a bin strike.  As a result, I have divvishly discovered that it is unwise to compress the contents of a curved-bottomed[1] cardboard recycling 'pod' by jumping on it.


[1] Because it was designed by divs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 12 February, 2019, 01:55:40 pm
Only once have I had the chance to ride a Triumph, a '77 T140 'Jubillee' Bonneville but on a very short ride around the estate it felt so alive. I'm sure it had a soul.

Better stop now before I get into 'Vroom' territory.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 13 February, 2019, 09:15:15 am
Birmingham City Council are well-known divs, so there is a bin strike.  As a result, I have divvishly discovered that it is unwise to compress the contents of a curved-bottomed[1] cardboard recycling 'pod' by jumping on it.


[1] Because it was designed by divs.

Have we got a 'Bin Diving Injuries (the gorier the better)' thread?
 ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 February, 2019, 06:03:49 pm
Railway geography. Bristol Temple Meads is in the centre of Bristol, it has lines heading south to Exeter and beyond, east to Bath and on to London, and north to various places. I was at Bristol Parkway in the northern fringe of The Home of Trip Hop and wanted to get back to Temple Meads, there was a train to Bath Spa leaving in 4 minutes, so it must stop at Temple Meads, right? But this red rock cutting we're passing through doesn't look right, and... hang on, there's no tunnel between Parkway and Temple Meads! Quite bizarrely, it had bypassed TM using what I believe is known as the Rhubarb Loop (probably after the Rhubarb Tavern which it passes – origin of that name not known) and gone straight on to Bath.

Today's Fecking Div lesson, #1242 in an occasional series: Check the "calling at" stations unless your destination is the final stop.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 14 February, 2019, 09:38:42 am
BTDT. Jumped on train to Leeds via Rochdale thinking 'that will do'. Kind of occurred to me that it wasn't stopping at MIH as we approached it still accelerating. Not easy to disembark when passing thru your chosen station at 70+ mph...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 14 February, 2019, 10:48:35 am
Me too.
When my dad was in Burton on Trent hospital on his final decent, I would visit him every night straight from work.  Leave work as early as possible, not always the same time - as early as I could get away with.  Run round the corner to Mordor Central and leap onto the first available train.
I became quite adept at reading the "calling at" lists on the departure boards without pausing as I ran past them.
Not so very adept on the day I found myself heading towards Stoke on Trent.  :facepalm:
Luckily I managed to get off at Wolverhampton and get back to New Street without having my ticket checked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 14 February, 2019, 11:05:41 am
worst I can claim in recent times is missing my stop on the Jubilee Line at Baker Street and having to make a volte face at the next station
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 February, 2019, 01:11:39 pm
Beardy junior managed to get on a 13 coach London bound main line train instead of the local branch line two coach trainwhen intending to travel from Ipswich to Woodbridge, all,of two stops on the said branch line. He was only 13 or 14 at the time and not a regular rail traveller and he had the sense to call me when the train stopped at a station he didn’t recognise so I was able to tell him to get off the train at the next stop rather than have him travelling all the way into London. So I’ll give him some clemency on the matter. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 February, 2019, 05:22:13 pm
If it's any consolation I once got off a train at Liverpool Lime Street to be asked in broken English by a Chinese family who had travelled all the way 'how to get to the Central Line?'
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 February, 2019, 07:40:06 pm
If it's any consolation I once got off a train at Liverpool Lime Street to be asked in broken English by a Chinese family who had travelled all the way 'how to get to the Central Line?'

Sadly at no point during our time in Stratford-upon-Olympic-building-site did I witness a USAnian tourist in search of Shakespeare.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 14 February, 2019, 07:59:00 pm
There was the time I was on a flight from Aberdeen to Norwich

"Welcome to this BMI flight to Norwich" said the stewardess

Bloke at the back stands up
"I'm supposed to be going to Manchester"

HTF he'd got that far with a Manchester boarding pass I have no idea
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 14 February, 2019, 08:43:28 pm
There was the time I was on a flight from Aberdeen to Norwich

"Welcome to this BMI flight to Norwich" said the stewardess

Bloke at the back stands up
"I'm supposed to be going to Manchester"

HTF he'd got that far with a Manchester boarding pass I have no idea
One of my colleagues did that on an Eastern Airways flight.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 14 February, 2019, 09:03:46 pm
https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=95565.msg2258615#msg2258615
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 14 February, 2019, 09:14:55 pm
There was the time I was on a flight from Aberdeen to Norwich

"Welcome to this BMI flight to Norwich" said the stewardess

Bloke at the back stands up
"I'm supposed to be going to Manchester"

HTF he'd got that far with a Manchester boarding pass I have no idea
One of my colleagues did that on an Eastern Airways flight.

At ABZ, being told your flight is 'boarding now' is just a fiction.
You are just ( in priority order! ) passed through the boarding gate into a long corridor where you mingle with everyone else, including other flights, whose planes are also not ready to board either.

When one flight becomes *actually* ready to board, then the entire mingled crowd moves forward. It's up to the over-stretched ground crew to actually check your boarding pass.
Unsurprisingly, this sometimes fails.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 February, 2019, 10:02:35 pm
My sister-in-law once phoned a rail company to ask the price of a ticket between Euston and Piccadilly.

"30p" came the reply.

It was shortly after this that my s-i-l learned that there is a Piccadilly station in London.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 February, 2019, 10:09:59 pm
Ah, I once had a Kentish ticket office bod sell me a ticket to Bromley South instead of Romiley (which I was in the habit of spelling out, because people south of Watford don't know about Stockport[1]).  Fortunately I was paying attention and queried the suspiciously low fare before getting anywhere near a train.


[1] To be fair, why would you need to know about Stockport when you have actual Watford?  They perform the same basic function.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 14 February, 2019, 10:15:38 pm
Many a tourist arrives at Abbey Road station on the Docklands Light Railway seeking "the" zebra crossing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 14 February, 2019, 10:36:11 pm
There was the time I was on a flight from Aberdeen to Norwich

"Welcome to this BMI flight to Norwich" said the stewardess

Bloke at the back stands up
"I'm supposed to be going to Manchester"

HTF he'd got that far with a Manchester boarding pass I have no idea
One of my colleagues did that on an Eastern Airways flight.

At ABZ, being told your flight is 'boarding now' is just a fiction.
You are just ( in priority order! ) passed through the boarding gate into a long corridor where you mingle with everyone else, including other flights, whose planes are also not ready to board either.

When one flight becomes *actually* ready to board, then the entire mingled crowd moves forward. It's up to the over-stretched ground crew to actually check your boarding pass.
Unsurprisingly, this sometimes fails.

Only partly true these days, although the current "improvement works" are challenging.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 15 February, 2019, 09:28:11 am
There was the time I was on a flight from Aberdeen to Norwich

"Welcome to this BMI flight to Norwich" said the stewardess

Bloke at the back stands up
"I'm supposed to be going to Manchester"

HTF he'd got that far with a Manchester boarding pass I have no idea
One of my colleagues did that on an Eastern Airways flight.

At ABZ, being told your flight is 'boarding now' is just a fiction.
You are just ( in priority order! ) passed through the boarding gate into a long corridor where you mingle with everyone else, including other flights, whose planes are also not ready to board either.

When one flight becomes *actually* ready to board, then the entire mingled crowd moves forward. It's up to the over-stretched ground crew to actually check your boarding pass.
Unsurprisingly, this sometimes fails.

I recall (sometime in the early '80's I guess) a time when there were only two gates at ABZ. This day there were two planes. Gate A passengers had to walk to the plane opposite Gate B, and vice versa. At the same time.  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 February, 2019, 09:32:23 am
[1] To be fair, why would you need to know about Stockport when you have actual Watford?  They perform the same basic function.
I'm such a fecking div for reading this with a mouthful of tea.





 ::-) :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jaded on 15 February, 2019, 09:37:28 am
While we are talking about Stockport, it looks a lot like Southport*

* on motorway signs in the dark  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 15 February, 2019, 11:27:22 am
A many of years ago, Mrs F and I with accompanying Smalls were going to That London for education (museums, zoo ect.). We queued and queued at the ticket office and finally got tickets. Whilst doing this we heard a train arrive. We rushed to then platforms and saw a train with 'Marylebone' on the destination sign at the back of the cab. We boarded and then thought WTF? as the train set of towards Birmingham.

It transpired that the 'Marylebone' destination was on the front of the train and the driver forgot to change it :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 15 February, 2019, 11:33:40 am
Once...many moons ago (must be around 1988? I was about to move to the Midlands), I ran down the ramp and onto Wellington Railway station and jumped onto a train which was leaving slamming the door behind me.... This caused the driver to do an emergency stop.

However.... I almost at once discovered that the train was heading to Shrewsbury and not back towards Wolverhampton has I had hoped, so I opened the door and jumped off causing the driver to do another emergency stop.....

Several minutes of being told off by the driver and station manager later, I managed to explain that I was from that London and thus did not understand their strange country ways.....  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 February, 2019, 02:53:18 pm
Moving on from train divviness (though I could contribute several stories to that thread) to food divviness...

Last night's dinner involved whole roasted cherry tomatoes. I made the schoolboy error of picking up a tomato on my fork, popping it in my mouth, and biting into it, squirting a jet of molten lava at the roof and back of my mouth.

Oh well, I suppose it's a good excuse to restrict myself to an ice cream diet today.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 15 February, 2019, 03:28:48 pm
I got on the train at Clapham Junction to Waterloo. Except it went the other way. In my defence, it did say Waterloo on the bloody train and I wasn't to know that was the back (and not the front) of the train. And the onboard system was dead (as it seemed were most of the passengers). "Does this train go to Waterloo?" Grunt.

So I had to change at Earlsfield. Good job it was a stopping service.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 February, 2019, 05:07:06 pm
Riding today, sun lowish on right, saw broad-shouldered figure looming through dazzle on edge of footpath, gave it a cheery bonjour then realized I had just said hello to a wheelie bin with a big bin bag on top.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 16 February, 2019, 12:51:19 pm
Riding today, sun lowish on right, saw broad-shouldered figure looming through dazzle on edge of footpath, gave it a cheery bonjour then realized I had just said hello to a wheelie bin with a big bin bag on top.

S'allright.  No-one saw you and you haven't told anyone......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 February, 2019, 01:12:53 pm
It was quite a threatening bin-bag too. Better safe than sorry.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 16 February, 2019, 01:39:19 pm
It was quite a threatening bin-bag too. Better safe than sorry.

Sometimes they’ll attack you just for looking at them. Better not to engage with them or even make eye contact.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 17 February, 2019, 11:35:52 am
It was probably as scared of you as you were of it (or is that bears?).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 17 February, 2019, 01:53:11 pm
At least you didn't wave at your own shadow, I'm sure nobody here would ever do that
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Butterfly on 17 February, 2019, 06:48:44 pm
At least you didn't wave at your own shadow, I'm sure nobody here would ever do that

Or apologise to your hair that you caught sight of out of the corner of your eye and thought it was a person.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 17 February, 2019, 07:24:34 pm
At least you didn't wave at your own shadow, I'm sure nobody here would ever do that

Or apologise to your hair that you caught sight of out of the corner of your eye and thought it was a person.

Ah yes, I've definitely never done that.

I suppose it's just a matter of time (and The Wrong Glasses) before I have an entire conversation with a hat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 17 February, 2019, 07:43:51 pm
At least you didn't wave at your own shadow, I'm sure nobody here would ever do that

Or apologise to your hair that you caught sight of out of the corner of your eye and thought it was a person.

Ah yes, I've definitely never done that.

I suppose it's just a matter of time (and The Wrong Glasses) before I have an entire conversation with a hat.
Its not a problem until the hat/shadow/bin bag start answering back! ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 23 February, 2019, 09:03:49 pm
Square taper cranks, all the tools, screwed the extractor into the RHS,

"hmm, that's hard work, let's keep turning the allen key to the right"
"that's odd, looks like a thread appearing there"

FFS I forgot there is a bit on the front of the extractor that is for "wider" but is removerd for "normal"

Cue one buggered thread.  LHS removed easily. Went back and gingerly removed RHS - I think a new crankset is in my future.

Now to have a go at the main job which was the UN54 BB.  UN54 tool is huge, none of my adjustables or sockets fit, and my stilsons wont grip. FFS.  And yes, I did check I was turning in the right direction - LH thread on RHS if my other external BBs are anything to go by
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 February, 2019, 05:22:48 pm
I have a Cyclo BB tool with a 32mm hex. The removal method which works in extremis involves undoing the loose 'cup' first (usually the non-drive) and bolting the tool to the BB using the crank bolt and a penny washer. Then sit the frame on the floor upright (resting on the BB and the fork end) Attach a strongarm or breaker bar to the socket and fit it over the tool so the bar is at the same angle as the downtube. Place your foot on the breaker bar and push down.

The cast should be off in about six weeks...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 24 February, 2019, 05:31:09 pm
Snapped the wrong key in a silver rated Kryptonite D lock whilst brain working on auto pilot. Bugger. :hand: Need to borrow some bolt croppers.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wombat on 24 February, 2019, 06:11:36 pm
The only Kryptonite D lock I ever owned was one of those you could open with a ball point pen.  Unsurprisingly I've been less than keen to own another of their products, particularly considering they were very reluctant to refund me on it, despite it being very well known that they were all faulty.

This doesn't help, does it? ;D
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: TigaSefi on 24 February, 2019, 06:13:40 pm
I have a Cyclo BB tool with a 32mm hex. The removal method which works in extremis involves undoing the loose 'cup' first (usually the non-drive) and bolting the tool to the BB using the crank bolt and a penny washer. Then sit the frame on the floor upright (resting on the BB and the fork end) Attach a strongarm or breaker bar to the socket and fit it over the tool so the bar is at the same angle as the downtube. Place your foot on the breaker bar and push down.

The cast should be off in about six weeks...

Lol oops!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 February, 2019, 06:23:48 pm
I have a Cyclo BB tool with a 32mm hex. The removal method which works in extremis involves undoing the loose 'cup' first (usually the non-drive) and bolting the tool to the BB using the crank bolt and a penny washer. Then sit the frame on the floor upright (resting on the BB and the fork end) Attach a strongarm or breaker bar to the socket and fit it over the tool so the bar is at the same angle as the downtube. Place your foot on the breaker bar and push down.

The recumbent variation on this technique (where you sit in the seat and 'pedal' the BB loose) Just Works™ in an extremely satisfying way, and is somewhat less hazardous.  I expect never to need to use it again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 24 February, 2019, 06:37:37 pm
Are these  On guard things any good?


https://www.tredz.co.uk/bike-locks-security-sale (https://www.tredz.co.uk/bike-locks-security-sale)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jakob W on 24 February, 2019, 07:14:56 pm
I've got an OnGuard Brute, and it weighs a ton is reassuringly beefy. Solid secure Gold, and IIRC it gets the LFGSS thumbs-up for affordable and reasonably secure (16mm shackle). A beefy mini-D is probably marginally more secure because there's less chance of a lever attack, but may not work for all frames.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 24 February, 2019, 08:23:16 pm
I have a Cyclo BB tool with a 32mm hex. The removal method which works in extremis involves undoing the loose 'cup' first (usually the non-drive) and bolting the tool to the BB using the crank bolt and a penny washer. Then sit the frame on the floor upright (resting on the BB and the fork end) Attach a strongarm or breaker bar to the socket and fit it over the tool so the bar is at the same angle as the downtube. Place your foot on the breaker bar and push down.

The cast should be off in about six weeks...

Lol oops!

Honestly a cast or are you exaggerating?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 26 February, 2019, 08:54:28 am
I have a Cyclo BB tool with a 32mm hex. The removal method which works in extremis involves undoing the loose 'cup' first (usually the non-drive) and bolting the tool to the BB using the crank bolt and a penny washer. Then sit the frame on the floor upright (resting on the BB and the fork end) Attach a strongarm or breaker bar to the socket and fit it over the tool so the bar is at the same angle as the downtube. Place your foot on the breaker bar and push down.

The cast should be off in about six weeks...

Lol oops!

For clarity: When you work on your own (and don't have access to air tools) this method just works. The difficulty is keeping stable. With a 800mm breaker bar the force at the BB is around 100kg/m. The trick is to have the bar sufficiently far from the floor that when you push on it there's room to move the BB (as opposed to just bending the bar!) but not so high that you are off balance when you stand on it IYSWIM.

The line about the cast was a joke...
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ham on 26 February, 2019, 10:53:13 am
I have a Cyclo BB tool with a 32mm hex. The removal method which works in extremis involves undoing the loose 'cup' first (usually the non-drive) and bolting the tool to the BB using the crank bolt and a penny washer. Then sit the frame on the floor upright (resting on the BB and the fork end) Attach a strongarm or breaker bar to the socket and fit it over the tool so the bar is at the same angle as the downtube. Place your foot on the breaker bar and push down.

The cast should be off in about six weeks...

Lol oops!

For clarity: When you work on your own (and don't have access to air tools) this method just works. The difficulty is keeping stable. With a 800mm breaker bar the force at the BB is around 100kg/m. The trick is to have the bar sufficiently far from the floor that when you push on it there's room to move the BB (as opposed to just bending the bar!) but not so high that you are off balance when you stand on it IYSWIM.

The line about the cast was a joke...

Just shout a lot. Then you'll be a little hoarse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 26 February, 2019, 01:53:14 pm
The thread you want is =======>

Which reminds me, what noise does a horsecow make?

coff-coff-moooggh - said in a strangulated voice.  Not one for the written word
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 26 February, 2019, 06:09:15 pm
Here's a beaut.

I was digging out some clumps of bulbs from a bed, and bashing them gently to remove excess soil. Nothing especially div like about that you may say, and that could be right. Not, however, if you are knocking them against the blade of spade, stood astride the handle. Fair brought tears to my eyes, even though I could hardly stop laughing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 27 February, 2019, 01:29:21 pm
Much viewing of utube solutions to removing a broken half key from lock and then......

Tries Coping saw blade = no

Tries pointy tweezers = no

Tries tiny pointy glasses tweezers = no (and bends tiny pointy tweezers)

Tries Small screwdriver with serrated blade = no but definite movement.

Eyes angle grinder in garage pondering blade choice and availability.

Tries uber powerful Neodym magnet = no

Eyes bolt cropper models at Screwfix.......

Turns lock over to get better view and

half a broken key blade falls out.

Is it me?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 27 February, 2019, 02:05:41 pm
Much viewing of utube solutions to removing a broken half key from lock and then......

Tries Coping saw blade = no

Tries pointy tweezers = no

Tries tiny pointy glasses tweezers = no (and bends tiny pointy tweezers)

Tries Small screwdriver with serrated blade = no but definite movement.

Eyes angle grinder in garage pondering blade choice and availability.

Tries uber powerful Neodym magnet = no

Eyes bolt cropper models at Screwfix.......

Turns lock over to get better view and

half a broken key blade falls out.

Is it me?
Proper out loud laughter can now be heard from a flat in Sussex.
Then I remembered the saga of the jammed padlock. Key wouldn't turn, moveable part of lock stayed in place. I borrow a battery powered disc cutter, do the necessary to the hasp.  Lock falls to the ground and springs open.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 March, 2019, 12:40:30 am
I forgot to update my payment details with 18185 when my bank replaced my credit card last September - oops!

I don't suppose my failed £3.32 payment will bankrupt them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 March, 2019, 08:39:44 am
Went into the workshop this morning and found the tube I'd put solvent on last night still waiting for the patch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 March, 2019, 01:19:44 pm
Went into the workshop this morning and found the tube I'd put solvent on last night still waiting for the patch.

Better that than being one of those impatient types who applies the patch before the solvent has dried.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 06 March, 2019, 10:50:53 pm
After I replaced the water tank in the loft, I decided that the old steel tank would fit through the hatch for disposal.
Part way down the stepladder I reassessed the risk, with half my bodyweight of rusty plumbing pressing me relentlessly towards the landing. However, there was no way at that point that it was going back up.
No distressing injuries occurred nor damage to the house, my div-ness rating, however, "went through the ceiling".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 March, 2019, 10:37:25 am
Went into the workshop this morning and found the tube I'd put solvent on last night still waiting for the patch.

Better that than being one of those impatient types who applies the patch before the solvent has dried.

BTDT too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 07 March, 2019, 01:09:45 pm
Some small parts arrived this morning for the Triumph 750 that I'm getting back on the road. I opened the packet and took out a new brake light switch (mostly rubber boot) and a gearbox oil drain plug.  Put them on the kitchen worktop - Jack the 12 month old black lab/collie cross has not thieved anything off there for many weeks.  They'll be safe for a few minutes.

The wife's out.  You can see what's coming...…

About 20 mins later I found the remains of a small plastic bag on the hall floor.  Not a good sign.  Checked the worktop - brake light switch but no oil drain plug.

The plug is a steel tube, about 2" long, 1/4" dia and with a big nut on the bottom to screw into the gearbox sump.  Oh oh.....

Checked very carefully and methodically, at least twice, all the areas Jack had had access to over the past half hour.  Nothing.  Normally, when he's picked up something he shouldn't, we hear occasional crunching noises, or rattles or some such, giving the game away. A quick check in his mouth and we get whatever it is back.  Soggy, usually chewed beyond further use, but we get it back.

Nothing this time.  No crunching, nothing.  Just a dog looking completely normal and with nothing to say.  No blame being admitted.  No sheepish look (we can tell). No invitation to chase him to recover whatever it is he's picked up.

Began to panic. He can't possibly have swallowed it, but I can't find it. Rang vet.  Do I make him sick?  It's got too many sharp edges to let nature take its course - and anyway, I want that part back asap.

Vet went to consult, came back.  It'll be Ok.  Wait until it appears.  And just then, mid-conversation, I spotted a silver tube poking out of his mouth.  The bloody animal had been concealing it for 20 minutes.  Because there were no tell-tale sounds I didn't check his mouth.

Much apologies to the vet and relief on my part.

Fortunately it wasn't the brake light switch as that would not have survived the ordeal.

Labs have a defective gene.  They think they are hungry all the time and must have something in their mouth.  We thought he'd got over thieving food from the worktops.

Labs.

And breathe.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 07 March, 2019, 01:23:47 pm
Do we have a "What has your dog eaten today?" thread.  I have vague memories of a car battery...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 March, 2019, 02:36:00 pm
Amongst other things, our two ate the knobs off the kitchen hifi. And most of the way through a wall.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 07 March, 2019, 03:10:12 pm
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 07 March, 2019, 11:51:14 pm

I seem to live in my cycle jersey (it's merino wool, comfortable, and I'm cycling a lot...), it has pockets. This is great, I usually keep my phone in the left back pocket.

Today I was wearing a merino base layer, I went to put my phone in the back pocket of the jersey. *thunk*, oh right, not wearing it today. I'm awake. Honest.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 08 March, 2019, 08:12:54 am
An apology.

Over the last 20 weeks my local cycling club have been running indoor winter training turbo sessions. I, despite not being a member have attended these sessions and at £44 for the whole lot, it is excellent value and very valuable in keeping what little fitness I have alive during the cold and dark nights.

They are a friendly bunch also who despite my lack of ability to mix in groups, welcomed and encouraged me. Indeed, at our recent “test” my 20 minutes power has increased by 16% since the first session. Most excellent.

However….they didn’t deserve what I did to them last evening. I am so sorry.

So, at the end of the session we do some stretching as part of the warm down. What I did not realise was that the seam on the bum part of my bib shorts had failed leaving at least 5cm of my hairy arse on display  :o  :sick:.  The coach came up to me after the session and suggested that I needed to get some new ones.

So, good people of Stafford RC, I am so sorry. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 08 March, 2019, 08:14:23 am
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...

They're not actually human. They're Buddhist Labs who were Bad Dogs and have been sent back to try again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 March, 2019, 08:21:14 am

I seem to live in my cycle jersey (it's merino wool, comfortable, and I'm cycling a lot...), it has pockets. This is great, I usually keep my phone in the left back pocket.

Today I was wearing a merino base layer, I went to put my phone in the back pocket of the jersey. *thunk*, oh right, not wearing it today. I'm awake. Honest.

J
Then there's the opposite, when you go to put something in your back pocket and, thunk, it isn't there. Because you've got a gilet over the top.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 08 March, 2019, 08:41:14 am
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...

YES!!!! That's it!!!! I now have an excuse for that foot firmly placed in same orifice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 March, 2019, 08:44:07 am
An apology.

Over the last 20 weeks my local cycling club have been running indoor winter training turbo sessions. I, despite not being a member have attended these sessions and at £44 for the whole lot, it is excellent value and very valuable in keeping what little fitness I have alive during the cold and dark nights.

They are a friendly bunch also who despite my lack of ability to mix in groups, welcomed and encouraged me. Indeed, at our recent “test” my 20 minutes power has increased by 16% since the first session. Most excellent.

However….they didn’t deserve what I did to them last evening. I am so sorry.

So, at the end of the session we do some stretching as part of the warm down. What I did not realise was that the seam on the bum part of my bib shorts had failed leaving at least 5cm of my hairy arse on display  :o  :sick:.  The coach came up to me after the session and suggested that I needed to get some new ones.

So, good people of Stafford RC, I am so sorry.

My old shorts didn't split on the club ride we once did, but the cloth just above the gluteal fold had worn so thin that I was sent to the back of the group. There are plenty of light-coloured shorts out there that are almost transparent from new, though - our club once had a complete delivery of shorts with a back panel that left nothing to the imagination.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 March, 2019, 09:53:32 am
An apology.

Over the last 20 weeks my local cycling club have been running indoor winter training turbo sessions. I, despite not being a member have attended these sessions and at £44 for the whole lot, it is excellent value and very valuable in keeping what little fitness I have alive during the cold and dark nights.

They are a friendly bunch also who despite my lack of ability to mix in groups, welcomed and encouraged me. Indeed, at our recent “test” my 20 minutes power has increased by 16% since the first session. Most excellent.

However….they didn’t deserve what I did to them last evening. I am so sorry.

So, at the end of the session we do some stretching as part of the warm down. What I did not realise was that the seam on the bum part of my bib shorts had failed leaving at least 5cm of my hairy arse on display  :o  :sick:.  The coach came up to me after the session and suggested that I needed to get some new ones.

So, good people of Stafford RC, I am so sorry.

My old shorts didn't split on the club ride we once did, but the cloth just above the gluteal fold had worn so thin that I was sent to the back of the group. There are plenty of light-coloured shorts out there that are almost transparent from new, though - our club once had a complete delivery of shorts with a back panel that left nothing to the imagination.

Riding home from Leeds one summer evening, a bunch of 'likely lads' slow down, window open and bellow at me "Oi mate, did you know we can see your arse through your shorts?"

"Why are you looking?" I retort

Their jaws hang slack for a second or two, then gain horrified looks before the driver floors it and they vanish up the road in a huff.

They were right though. Those shorts had gone right transparent.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Greenbank on 08 March, 2019, 01:31:07 pm
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...

YES!!!! That's it!!!! I now have an excuse for that foot firmly placed in same orifice.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 08 March, 2019, 04:20:52 pm
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...

YES!!!! That's it!!!! I now have an excuse for that foot firmly placed in same orifice.

You're a LOT more supple than me if this is no mere metaphor!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 08 March, 2019, 08:10:34 pm
I kicked the leg of my desk today accidentally.  I think I've rebroken the toe that I broke about 2 years ago kicking my turbo trainer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 March, 2019, 09:58:51 pm
Almost a fecking div.

Got a phone call from the garage to tell me the MOT & service was complete & I could go and pick the car up.
GARAGE: Oh I should tell you, we couldn't find your locking wheel nut key
MRS PINGU: ??? Er, I didn't even know I had such a thing, see you later byeeee.

<effects, swirly lines, vague memories> Oh. I wonder if that's what that thing that looked like a socket that suddenly appeared in the car when it came back from being repaired after the drug driver slammed into the Future Classic TM Mr Larrington was. It hung about in the passenger compartment for a few months rattling in an irritating manner and eventually I thought 'that's too big to fit on my socket set, maybe I'll put it in the bin'.
Looks up 'locking wheel nut key on Google'.
Yes, that's exactly what that was.
Oh.
I wonder if I *did* put it in the bin or if I just thought about it. Really hard.




Fortunately it would appear that common sense prevailed and it was found lurking in the shed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 March, 2019, 09:14:14 am
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...

YES!!!! That's it!!!! I now have an excuse for that foot firmly placed in same orifice.

You're a LOT more supple than me if this is no mere metaphor!

Yoga.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 09 March, 2019, 06:00:21 pm
Failure to notice that the No.2 gauge clip hadn't been fitted to my hair clippers has resulted in a 0 gauge, Belsen look, haircut.  ::-)
Feel free to point and laugh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 March, 2019, 06:21:18 pm
Pointed, laughed  :thumbsup:

BTDT
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 09 March, 2019, 06:40:19 pm
BDTD (but at least it was only my beard)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 09 March, 2019, 10:48:55 pm
Mrs B did that once.  To the dog.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 10 March, 2019, 09:28:19 am
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...

YES!!!! That's it!!!! I now have an excuse for that foot firmly placed in same orifice.

You're a LOT more supple than me if this is no mere metaphor!

Yoga.

No, I couldn't bear that
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 10 March, 2019, 05:31:29 pm
Fettled a new tubeless tyre onto a new tubeless rim, carefully, first seating th3 tyre with a bit of detergent spray, before gently deflating, adding sealant and reinstating.  All good, only a very slight weep around the valve that soon sealed. At which point I noticed the tyre, which has a directional tread, was mounted the wrong way round  ::-).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 March, 2019, 06:18:12 pm
Don't some humans have a 'must have something in the mouth' gene?

I'm sure it's not just labs...

YES!!!! That's it!!!! I now have an excuse for that foot firmly placed in same orifice.

You're a LOT more supple than me if this is no mere metaphor!

Yoga.

No, I couldn't bear that
Are you as supple as a jelly or as rigid as a stone?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 March, 2019, 08:22:11 am
Fettled a new tubeless tyre onto a new tubeless rim, carefully, first seating th3 tyre with a bit of detergent spray, before gently deflating, adding sealant and reinstating.  All good, only a very slight weep around the valve that soon sealed. At which point I noticed the tyre, which has a directional tread, was mounted the wrong way round  ::-).

At least you didn't publish your efforts on Youtube like the bloke I watched demonstrating his tubeless technique who also got his tyre on backwards.

Fair dos, the black-on-black arrows can be wretchedly hard to find and reading the tread isn't always all that clear either.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 11 March, 2019, 08:46:45 am
Fettled a new tubeless tyre onto a new tubeless rim, carefully, first seating th3 tyre with a bit of detergent spray, before gently deflating, adding sealant and reinstating.  All good, only a very slight weep around the valve that soon sealed. At which point I noticed the tyre, which has a directional tread, was mounted the wrong way round  ::-).

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Except it was pointed out to me by my electrician (who's also  part of my MTB group) when he was doing some work for us.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 11 March, 2019, 09:27:17 am
I worked up to this one.

I have a LiPo battery that's puffed up  (chunky drone battery, 7.4 nominal) and I decided to condemn said item, after all, safety first, eh? Given it is a relatively high current thingy that seemed sensible. It is fully charged. There are two  ways to discharge. (a) connect up and run (b) look on the Internet to Seek Wisdom. Wherein I dunked said item into saline for 12 hours.

Took it out and checked, still got 8+v on it. OK, OK, we're getting to it. Rummage in box, find a power resistor. Don't bother checking what it is. If I hold the body of the resistor in my hand and touch the contacts, I'll probably feel it getting warm. I mean, how quick is it going to get hot.

Brown Green Gold Gold (1.5 ohms). Bloody hot, bloody quickly. I think those colours are now burnt into my thumb, if not my brain.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 11 March, 2019, 02:36:53 pm
no kitkat tinfoil or 6" nails handy?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 March, 2019, 02:49:12 pm
Retrieving a pizza from the hot oven on Friday night I reached under the tray to get a grip with the tea towel, thus branding the back of my hand with the hot, hot, hot metal shelf. It looks quite impressive. Another scar for the collection.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 March, 2019, 04:19:04 pm
You've got to admit that it takes a lot of effort to get into this thread, but we work at it pretty hard.

Today I unwrapped half the bars on my Trek to replace the RD gear cable outer then found that all I had really needed to do was replace the pestilential end cap, whose long nose had split - the new inner cable ran beautifully in the outer. And I hate wrapping bars. :demon:

Shimano, I christen thee div for designing the bloody thing like that in the first place.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 11 March, 2019, 05:29:04 pm
I took delivery of a New! Shiny! dishwasher on Friday. When I fitted the kitchen a few months ago I made provision for one, with a dedicated tap thing and waste connection under the sink.

On offering up the dishwasher and hose I saw that the anti flood device integral to the hose meant that the dishwasher would stick too far out into the kitchen. Never mind, if I just turned the tap through 90 degrees such that the outlet pointed downwards instead of straight out and all would be well. The tap is a compression fitting, so just loosen the nut, tweak it round and nip it back up. Turn the water off? Nah, it's not like I'm taking it apart.

Loosen nut. Tap doesn't move. Loosen it a tadge more. Tap is shot off  by the pipe by the water pressure. Loud swears are uttered. I get soaked. The new laminate floor gets a wash. More swears.  Finally get it back together, turn the water off, get the mop out.

So, just to re cap, kitchen flood caused, in part, by having to accommodate an anti flood device.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 11 March, 2019, 09:07:24 pm
Thanks Tim. I really appreciated that chuckle. Glad no permanent damage done.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 12 March, 2019, 08:11:09 am
Tim, the only disappointing thing about that story is that it wasn’t caught on camera.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peat on 12 March, 2019, 09:56:08 am
Put the bins out last night in the usual spot next to the drive.

Gosh, it's windy isn't it? I know, I'll place this brick on the lid to weigh it down.

1am - I am woken by a clatter and bang. I pull the curtain to see the bin has fallen over by the car. After a moment, I decide to get up and tidy it up as I didn't want a fox or cat getting at it and have my rubbish decorating the cul-de-sac.

Get out there in my jimjams (it's raining too!) and notice that my ingenious bin tie-down device had been flung from the bin as it fell, hitting my car on the front wing.

A nice dent and scratch.

I'm such a fecking div!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 March, 2019, 11:25:00 am
Quote from: Angry People In Local Newspapers
BINNNNNSSSSSS!!!!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 13 March, 2019, 09:52:43 am
Tomorrow I'm not working, so this morning when I woke to the alarm, I turned it off. Then with some joy reset it to a later time for tomorrow. At 7:30 I got a text from my wife about the "bloody alarm"...   :-[ ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 15 March, 2019, 05:29:18 pm
Yesterday I didn't leap out of bed (still recovering from D&V, virus-induced). I got up, had a shower, dressed, battled the gale and rain to the train station and went to work.

Nothing terribly divvish about that, you might say.

Oh, but there is, because when I left the house, I shut the bedroom door. And when I shut the bedroom door, I didn't look under the bed. If I had looked under the bed (rather than glancing round the room), I would have seen the cat.

Therefore preventing myself from getting home last night, opening the bedroom door to be greeted by a cat and a stench of cat piss. Emanating from the bed. Rather than piss on the floor, the cat had chosen to piss on the duvet (comprehensively, through it, soaking the duvet, sheet, mattress padding and mattress.

So I spent last night washing bedding, scrubbing mattress, and sleeping in freezing cold room (windows open to help room dry out and dispel the smell).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 16 March, 2019, 09:33:19 am
Scrabbling round to find my wallet this morning.
Looked in all the usual places.
Nothing.
Oh! Those trousers on the clothes horse?
The ones which had a 40°C wash last night.

Money laundering.
Again  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 March, 2019, 02:50:51 pm
Having retaped the Trek's bars I searched the workshop for 10 minutes for the Bontrager buttbar plug I must have flicked off the bench when removing the old tape. Then found it still in the bar end. ;D

ETA: Also, broke a piece of the bar-end fixing of my Zefal mirror, ordered a new one then managed to fit the old one. Well, it's a bit scratched.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 March, 2019, 12:38:51 am
Following on from https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=10706.msg2379046#msg2379046 I've just spent a couple of hours wanking about in re-learning gnuplot, because spreadsheets are universally awful (and infuriatingly slow) at graphing large datasets.

Having achieved a beautiful plot of my non-compliant electricity supply in a perfectly good postscript file (for ease of throwing at Ye Olde Laserjet), I had a go at generating a SVG for general showing-off purposes.  Unfortunately, it had passed midnight and, in a moment of filetype aphasia, I generated an empty CSV file over the top of my source data.  For maximum divvishness I'd also over-enthusiastically tidied up the multimeter's SD card while I had it in the computer, so that was my only copy.

Sometimes the universe has a way of telling you to go to bed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 March, 2019, 08:54:03 am
Without any supper at that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 March, 2019, 10:03:28 am
Scrabbling round to find my wallet this morning.
Looked in all the usual places.
Nothing.
Oh! Those trousers on the clothes horse?
The ones which had a 40°C wash last night.

Money laundering.
Again  ::-)
You need some antimony!
(see Grammar thread)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 21 March, 2019, 03:49:26 pm
So last week I organised a set of training for today, back in my base office. Nicely booked the meeting and meeting room in the outlook calendar as is the normal practice for my client location.....


and completely forgot that meeting rooms in my home office have to be booked through reception  :facepalm:


Arrived at work this morning to a worried receptionist as my presenter had arrived mentioned the meeting room but it had been booked for someone else. Further there were no available meeting rooms in the entire building. We ended up meeting in one of the breakout areas into which the facilities team deployed one of the plasma screens to display everything.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 25 March, 2019, 12:05:25 pm
Booked a coach ticket for a late April trip to Cardiff.  In the process of adjusting variables I failed to notice the travel date returned to a system default.  Anyone want to travel to Cardiff this Thursday?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 25 March, 2019, 01:55:01 pm
Not me but:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47691478 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47691478)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 25 March, 2019, 02:27:20 pm
Booked a train ticket via thetrainline.com from Paddington to Exeter for the Back to the Smoke 400. Phoned GWR to make bike reservation. All good. No divviness so far.

Went to pick up proof of bike reservation from Paddington, noticed a timing discrepancy between my ticket and the bike reservation. Showed my e-ticket to the nice woman behind counter. She pointed out that my ticket was for the SW service from Waterloo, not the GWR from Paddington.

Usual story of looking too closely at the price rather than any other details of what I was actually booking. I have form for this - once accidentally booked a return flight from Spain on the wrong day because I was distracted by the fact that it was cheaper than the day I was intending to travel - on that occasion, I had to pay substantially more than the price difference to amend the booking, of course.

Fortunately, when I phoned SW, they still had bike spaces available on the train I'm travelling on. Just as well I made the effort to pick up my bike reservation ticket in plenty of time, not leave it to the last minute, so maybe I'm not such a div after all!

And the ticket only cost £15, so I can't complain about that either (though obviously I was too late making my booking to get a cheap ticket on the faster GWR service).
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 25 March, 2019, 04:10:02 pm
I have booked a train ticket for my daughter to come up and visit at Easter.
On the mobile app on my phone.
That's where the ticket is.
Fuck.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: sib on 25 March, 2019, 04:21:27 pm
@fboab
did you use trainline ?
apparently you can forward the confirmation to your daughters email and she can access if she has the app ?
HTH
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 25 March, 2019, 06:37:35 pm
Nope- Northern. It's a mobile ticket.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 25 March, 2019, 08:45:52 pm
If its a QR code then you can take a screen shot of it and send it on to her; that will open the gates. I use that because the the GWR app is so c@rp that it “loses”my ticket ‘twin train and gate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 26 March, 2019, 09:49:00 am
If its a QR code then you can take a screen shot of it and send it on to her; that will open the gates. I use that because the the GWR app is so c@rp that it “loses”my ticket ‘twin train and gate.

But the eTicket facility proved very useful when I got to Paddington this morning to find I'd bought a ticket for tomorrow :facepalm: Fortunately I could use the app to buy a ticket for a train leaving Didcot a few minutes later and exited the gate 2 minutes before the train left Didcot.

 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 26 March, 2019, 10:44:14 am
But the eTicket facility proved very useful when I got to Paddington this morning to find I'd bought a ticket for tomorrow :facepalm: Fortunately I could use the app to buy a ticket for a train leaving Didcot a few minutes later and exited the gate 2 minutes before the train left Didcot.

I do this regularly.  I go to a lot of court cases with a defined start but undefined finish so generally buy a single to the court and then buy my return ticket walking from court to train station, often actually on the concourse as i see which train i can manage to get.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 26 March, 2019, 10:53:39 am
But the eTicket facility proved very useful when I got to Paddington this morning to find I'd bought a ticket for tomorrow :facepalm: Fortunately I could use the app to buy a ticket for a train leaving Didcot a few minutes later and exited the gate 2 minutes before the train left Didcot.

I do this regularly.  I go to a lot of court cases with a defined start but undefined finish so generally buy a single to the court and then buy my return ticket walking from court to train station, often actually on the concourse as i see which train i can manage to get.



Yes, but Paddington was my destination and I'd already traveled by the time I discovered I had no ticket. Because it was so early the barriers were open at Didcot and there were no inspectors.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 26 March, 2019, 12:43:04 pm
Northern e-tickets aren't a QR code- you activate them in the app - and this journey involves 2 changes.
It's a really handy system. Unless you're not actually the person travelling. I think I have to go and talk to a person about it.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 26 March, 2019, 11:14:50 pm
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Butterfly on 27 March, 2019, 08:32:39 am
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...

 ;D ;D ;D

(sorry)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 27 March, 2019, 11:02:40 am
Ask me who dropped his new motorbike putting it in the shed. Were it not for the intervention of #1 son I'd probably still be under it...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 27 March, 2019, 11:59:30 am
Well, somebody's got to.....How's the bike?

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 March, 2019, 12:48:43 pm
Is the shed okay?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 March, 2019, 01:18:27 pm
How's #1 son?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 28 March, 2019, 01:37:00 pm
Them: could you email a scan of <document>?
Me: here is a scan of <document>. Is that sufficient?
Yes, that is what they asked for, you idiot!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 March, 2019, 02:03:53 pm
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...

You don't happen to be tall and fair-haired with one black shoe, do you?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 28 March, 2019, 02:10:14 pm
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...

You don't happen to be tall and fair-haired with one black shoe, do you?

I had to look that up to get the reference... Not a film I'm familiar with though I must say it sounds right up my street!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 March, 2019, 03:19:13 pm
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...

You don't happen to be tall and fair-haired with one black shoe, do you?

I had to look that up to get the reference... Not a film I'm familiar with though I must say it sounds right up my street!

It was maybe the second film we saw in Paris in 1972, and it's still one of the best I know.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 28 March, 2019, 05:14:58 pm
Not sure I qualify, yet, but time will tell.

After a thorough, 3 month clear out of my garage/workshop, buying some new (or new to me) workshop tools that I'd long hankered after, I've spent the past month staring at a thoroughly tidy and sorted, but empty void. The garden fence is sorted, the dog training is going well, my sax learning is progressing, and my recumbents have every new part they could wish for.  There's nowt left to do.  Other than slide, inexorably, towards a bib when I dribble, and general decrepitude, thinking back on what I might have achieved if only I'd known then what I know now.

No longer.  After some deliberation (well, about an hour) I've taken delivery of a non-running, Canadian re-imported, Triumph 750.  Fortunately with the management's support.

I have form with British motorcycles, my last one carrying me on a daily 95 mile round trip into London every day when working in Victoria St in the late '70s.  It was the only way I could afford the commute, but it was very heavy on bike maintenance, so I learned my Triumph Twins.

Having retired, and worked through the initial to-do list, I was bored, I needed a tinkering and fettling project.  Hence a return to mucky fingernails (my sax teacher will love that..), long hours searching the internet for parts and advice, and the smell of Jizer (or maybe Muc-off now) in the workshop.

It turns over, has good compression and clearly has done nothing since the engine was re-bulit.  But why did they seem to use any fastener they had to hand when they put the engine back together and couldn't find the bolt they'd taken out?  If that was their mentality, are there any gremlins inside the engine that I can't see?  But there are a number of small parts with it that I'll need, and clearly the original owner had intended to get it running again.  But why did he stop?  Too big a job, a major fault?  Or a simply few years ahead of me on the slippery slope.

But, it has new tyres, the chrome is good, wheels are good, and it's almost all there.

I just hope this isn't going to qualify me as the Div of all time.....  I just hope.......

Phew.  I think I've avoided divishness - but there's one hurdle left.

The Tiger now runs quite nicely.  I had to fettle the carb a few times, and replace the new throttle cable with another new one that was just the correct length.  The first new one I fitted proved to be a bit too short (as in the inner was not as long as it needed to be relative to the outer) so the carb was running at about 1/4 throttle, and no matter how far out I screwed the throttle stop, it made no difference - of course.  I did succeed in shortening it - a bit too much so the adjusters ran out of travel.  Rats.

Then I sussed I'd not driven the jet shroud in quite far enough, and then the pilot jet was blocked.  Then a petrol cock leaked everywhere.  So a second round of bits aquisition was required.

But, today, the new cable and the second fuel cock arrived and I fitted them.

It now does what it should when I close the throttle, it does what it should when I twiddle the slow running air mixture, and it throttles up smoothly in response to the twist grip.  In short, it does what the 1930's design says it should. 

It doesn't clatter any more than you'd expect for a 45 year old agricultural design of typical British motorcycle, made by people who ignored the sophistication of the new bikes arriving from the land of the rising sun, and could not be arsed to invest in new designs and technologies.  We got what we deserved.  It doesn't seem to drip any more oil then my good old, much-missed 1968 Daytona (sob, sob) used to do.  It doesn't billow blue smoke out of the exhausts.  It does have an exhaust blow where the rh pipe goes into the head, but a fix is in hand for that.

There's one remaining opportunity for divvishness:  getting an age-related UK registration number, so it's VED and MOT exempt.  I have filled in the DVLA form, added loads of supporting information and obtained dating certificates for both frame and engine from the Owners Club (who are approved by DVLA in matters relating to proof of age).  I should be entitled to that black and white J plate. Let's see.....  I could still be the biggest div of all time.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 28 March, 2019, 05:57:16 pm
I was so pleased with myself for finding a bike space on the train bookings that i forgot to check whether all the places to stay were alreadly booked.

So, time to plan a not-Islay Scottish ride. :facepalm:

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 March, 2019, 10:21:44 pm
Camping?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 29 March, 2019, 09:17:17 am
Could do. Though it turns out it is the whisky festival. My trip wasn't built around distillery visits (or i might have realised) but I might find getting away from the crowd easier by changing my plans.

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 March, 2019, 10:51:15 am
Could do. Though it turns out it is the whisky festival. My trip wasn't built around distillery visits (or i might have realised) but I might find getting away from the crowd easier by changing my plans.

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk

Probably invented by Seagram.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 29 March, 2019, 12:09:24 pm
I got my drone out to take some pictures of the tree fellers1 and because I’ve not flown it for a while, checked it out inside, I pressed the self launch button, having forgotten it flies up 3m on take off. It flew up into a metal lampshade, broke a propeller and thus unbalanced flew into the wall and broke another propeller.  :facepalm:

Wait. There’s more.

I replaced the propellers and took it outside. Flew it around a bit and then decided to try and take a picture of a man in a tree. Concentrating on my subject, I few sideways into the tree because there’s no object warning on the side of the drone. It got hung up in the tree 30m up. And broke another propeller.  :facepalm: Fortunately the tree fellers are happy helpful souls and rescued the drone for me.


1. although I should have them for,misrepresentation because there’s only two of them!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 29 March, 2019, 01:48:05 pm
Well, somebody's got to.....How's the bike?

Remarkably unscathed - as is #1 son. The top case has a small scuff in the lacquer which may be sorted with a little rubbing compound. It's colour matched, such is vanity.

In my defence, SWMBO has ordered the builder to close in our front porch. Builder chappy being a no-nonsense-do-it-properly-builder-bloke he dug out the footings for a dwarf wall, adjacent to the front door of the garage/shed where the mo'bikes live. Reversing a 300 kilo plus rider machine was always going to be a little fraught. Especially when the plywood sheets over the trench proved to be a little ~ flexible. The front wheel slipped into the footing and I couldn't hold it.

Special mention to #1 son who is stronger than he looks...
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 March, 2019, 05:39:47 pm
Could do. Though it turns out it is the whisky festival. My trip wasn't built around distillery visits (or i might have realised) but I might find getting away from the crowd easier by changing my plans.

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk

Probably invented by Seagram.

Not much to do with Seagram, it's an Island wide thing, focusses on one distillery at a time in rotation, you do need to book early from what I was told last year.  I'll be there outside of the festival
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 02 April, 2019, 02:50:52 pm
Scratching one's ear while holding a craft knife is not a terribly clever thing to do.



I shouldn't be allowed out without a Responsible Adult.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 02 April, 2019, 02:53:10 pm
Scratching one's ear while holding a craft knife is not a terribly clever thing to do.



I shouldn't be allowed out without a Responsible Adult.

Should we call you 'Van Guy' from now on?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 02 April, 2019, 03:49:15 pm
Scratching one's ear while holding a craft knife is not a terribly clever thing to do.



I shouldn't be allowed out without a Responsible Adult.

Should we call you 'Van Guy' from now on?

It's not quite that bad. It stopped dripping after a few minutes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 02 April, 2019, 04:53:31 pm
Scratching one's ear while holding a craft knife is not a terribly clever thing to do.



I shouldn't be allowed out without a Responsible Adult.
Top tip: Don't answer the phone while doing the ironing.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 02 April, 2019, 05:17:32 pm
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...

As a follow up to this, last night my wife put toothpaste on her bum* instead of Voltarol. I laughed solidly for about 10 minutes.



*hip/glute, to be precise, to treat a muscle strain
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 02 April, 2019, 06:54:13 pm
Just DON'T confuse superglue with eye ointment!
PLEASE!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 02 April, 2019, 07:25:37 pm
This sounds like time for the old "Approximately 50% of bisexuals[1] have at some point deliberately covered their genitals in toothpaste" statistic.  The rest of us were boggling with a horror usually only reserved for marmite.


[1] Sample of those who were in [REDACTED]'s flat at the time the question came up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 02 April, 2019, 07:40:48 pm
I was once on a cycling trip where there was a scream of horror from the ladies toilet block.   ******** had got tubes of toothpaste & Canestan confused...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 03 April, 2019, 02:45:29 pm
Just DON'T confuse superglue with eye ointment!
PLEASE!

Ouch

I know of somoene who confused their eyedrops with high strength e-cig juice juice, most painful I'm told
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 April, 2019, 03:11:54 pm
I had a tube of Loctite lurking perilously close to the Flixonase that lives on my desk for a while.  Somehow I managed to evict it downstairs before I made that mistake.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 April, 2019, 03:19:23 pm
Just DON'T confuse superglue with eye ointment!
PLEASE!
Ouch
I know of somoene who confused their eyedrops with high strength e-cig juice juice, most painful I'm told
Ouch!

I think my example might have been from a Learned Journal but Learned Journals should be there to teach...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 03 April, 2019, 03:26:22 pm
Wonderful stuff, but needs protective glasses. And it soaks through paper towels at relativistic speed, as I found out doing a wipe-up with a single thickness.

CW is that if you do get it in your eye, do not blink - it makes life much harder for the A&E people, and hence you.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 April, 2019, 04:39:15 pm
I had a tube of Loctite lurking perilously close to the Flixonase that lives on my desk for a while.  Somehow I managed to evict it downstairs before I made that mistake.
Adrian Mole.
Title: My mother's not a feckin div...
Post by: hellymedic on 04 April, 2019, 10:13:46 pm
Had supper chez Ancient Parents.

Mum & I discussed itchy & dry skin; she showed me her E45 Itch Cream, which she recommended.

Mum was very careful to put Itch Cream back in the bathroom before supper as

her favoured mayonnaise comes out of rather similar squeezy tubes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 April, 2019, 10:18:08 pm
Yeahbut E45 probably tastes better.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 04 April, 2019, 10:32:31 pm
Yeahbut E45 probably tastes better.

 ;D ;D ;D Indeed!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 April, 2019, 11:50:45 pm
Yeahbut E45 probably tastes better.

 ;D ;D ;D Indeed!

 ;D

Possibly., but

This was E45 Itch Cream.

With added urea...

Our family are incurable mayo addicts...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 05 April, 2019, 07:28:00 am
In the light of the above this probably constitutes a high risk strategy

(https://i.postimg.cc/6qpV7MKx/E39-FF568-2-B05-47-C1-9-F6-F-DD8-D6-AD3522-C.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/34z0VCWt)

No mishaps yet
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 April, 2019, 08:41:02 am
Might not be so disarsetrous - Assos bum cream contains menthol.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 05 April, 2019, 09:22:26 am
Might not be so disarsetrous - Assos bum cream contains menthol.

I'll leave it to you to test and report back
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 05 April, 2019, 09:41:12 am
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 05 April, 2019, 10:01:45 am
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.

Sorry to hear that. Hope it settles
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 April, 2019, 10:40:11 am
Might not be so disarsetrous - Assos bum cream contains menthol.

I'll leave it to you to test and report back

I'll stick with the Assos, ta. Literally.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 April, 2019, 10:40:52 am
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.

That's not dividity, that's bloody bad luck.  GWSharpish.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 April, 2019, 11:18:42 am
My first kayak race is on Sunday.

Last night was the usual thursday club 10km TT, and the first time after winter that it was properly timed. I went all out, figuring it would be a good sharpener for the race on Sunday.

I've injured my back.

BTDT, in my case shifting heavy plant pots the week before an indoor rowing race
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 08 April, 2019, 10:00:39 am
I have two laptops on my desk. One to type on, and one to have on in the background for entertainment purposes (er...that sounds rude! I mean that I listen to music/watch baseball etc on it...honest!).

Well this morning I was listening to some music when one of the only two phone calls I receive per month arrived. So of course I turn off the volume control on the entertainment machine only for the sound to continue...... In a panic I turned the machine off but the music continued..... Er?

Quite embarrassing really as I was listening to "Loser" by Beck.....

Anyway, I said I would phone back and set about working out how music could be coming out of a turned off computer............

I bet you can guess the rest. It took me at least three songs to work it out!

D'oh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 April, 2019, 11:13:51 am
Heh. One place I worked, our boss had two black phones on his desk. Every so often we would swap the receivers over when he wasn't looking.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 April, 2019, 11:44:24 am
Heh. One place I worked, our boss had two black phones on his desk. Every so often we would swap the receivers over when he wasn't looking.

Try to explain to kids today that in the 80s your importance was measured by the number of phones on your desk and they won't believe you.  TBH, it didn't really make much sense at the time, either.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: essexian on 08 April, 2019, 12:12:58 pm
I have three phones on my desk..... they never ring so I must be far too important to bother.....

Yeah, right!  :( :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 08 April, 2019, 12:20:51 pm
When I was assigned to the mothership one of the first things I tried to do was set up my desk phone (which needs a PIN etc.) Asking around it turned out no one had a clue what that magic number might be. Never used it, they opined. Eventually, I had to find an old person.

Two months later neither have I, nor has it ever rung. It does now say my name on the screen though in case I forget where I sit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 08 April, 2019, 12:48:23 pm
When I was assigned to the mothership one of the first things I tried to do was set up my desk phone (which needs a PIN etc.) Asking around it turned out no one had a clue what that magic number might be. Never used it, they opined. Eventually, I had to find an old person.

Two months later neither have I, nor has it ever rung. It does now say my name on the screen though in case I forget where I sit.

I think I mentioned this elsewhere on the forum recently... I asked IT for the PIN for my phone and they were able to supply it without difficulty, which meant I was able to access my messages and thereby disable the annoying flashing orange light on the phone. Some of the messages were over a year old, ie dating from the time my predecessor's predecessor was here. I still haven't been able to update the phone to display my name because that requires access to the desktop app, but at least the recorded message now gives out my name rather than that of my predecessor's predecessor.

I have noticed that several of my colleagues have perpetually flashing orange lights on their phones, suggesting they don't know their PIN, though some of them have been here for many years.

One colleague has got round the problem by taping a piece of paper over the light.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 08 April, 2019, 01:17:38 pm
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off. Plus, like many of my colleagues, I'm a peripatetic worker, more easily reached with the other kids on Slack these days.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 08 April, 2019, 01:23:33 pm
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off. Plus, like many of my colleagues, I'm a peripatetic worker, more easily reached with the other kids on Slack these days.

My bold.
Don't talk to machines.
They learn.
It started with a red light in the 1930s - and the car stopped.
These days, you're in the supermarket and the machine says 'Unexpected item in the bagging area' and it hasn't finished talking before you've already gone Pavlovian and are jumping up to appease it.
It isn't going to end well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 08 April, 2019, 01:46:25 pm
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off. Plus, like many of my colleagues, I'm a peripatetic worker, more easily reached with the other kids on Slack these days.

I've been here nearly 12 years, still have no idea what the PIN is for my desk phone.  I'm not even sure it's a real phone as one of our office based admin folks seems to get the calls to the number on my business card and sends me messages about three times a year.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 April, 2019, 01:49:00 pm
I think a combination of mobile and internet telephony has made the desktop phone redundant – that and messaging services etc. For that matter, I've not used an answering machine for years, I turn them off.

I have a phone on my desk that I use on the rare occasion I have to make phone calls, simply because my ability to understand people on the phone is greatly improved by not having the GSM codec throwing away half the audio, and this way I can at least force g.711 on my leg.  (Still stuffed if the other party is on a mobile, or a lowest-bidder VOIP connection to Elbonia, of course.)  Life's too short to use a PC to make phone calls, and while Android's native implementation seems to work pretty well[1], it would involve streaming realtime bidirectional audio over The Devil's Radio, which is asking for trouble when you live somewhere where the WiFi band is so congested that it would give the Daily Mail cancer.

Voicemail exists so that the receiving telco can accumulate the call termination charges.  A few pence here and there soon covers the cost of recording messages instead of giving a busy signal or letting it ring out.  It's basically useless in the real world, as it's the least convenient way to give someone a message, even if people knew how to speak properly into answering machines (a skill which went out with waiting a decent amount of time for people to answer the phone).  Caller ID makes it mostly redundant anyway.

That said, I do have voicemail configured on Asterisk for automatically redirecting unknown callers who fail the Turing test to, just in case someone who doesn't have the sense to use email from a large bureaucratic organisation that doesn't present CID needs to get in touch.


[1] When not nobbled in the firmware, because mobiles tend to be sold wholesale to telecoms companies.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 08 April, 2019, 08:19:26 pm
Quote from: Kim
Voicemail exists so that ...

...I can ignore the 'phone when it rings.  If whoever called did not leave a message and (or) withheld their number then I neither need to nor want to speak to this person.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 09 April, 2019, 08:00:29 am
When I was assigned to the mothership one of the first things I tried to do was set up my desk phone (which needs a PIN etc.) Asking around it turned out no one had a clue what that magic number might be. Never used it, they opined. Eventually, I had to find an old person.

Two months later neither have I, nor has it ever rung. It does now say my name on the screen though in case I forget where I sit.

I think I mentioned this elsewhere on the forum recently... I asked IT for the PIN for my phone and they were able to supply it without difficulty, which meant I was able to access my messages and thereby disable the annoying flashing orange light on the phone. Some of the messages were over a year old, ie dating from the time my predecessor's predecessor was here. I still haven't been able to update the phone to display my name because that requires access to the desktop app, but at least the recorded message now gives out my name rather than that of my predecessor's predecessor.

I have noticed that several of my colleagues have perpetually flashing orange lights on their phones, suggesting they don't know their PIN, though some of them have been here for many years.

One colleague has got round the problem by taping a piece of paper over the light.  :facepalm:

Whereas I've got round it by unplugging the phone.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 09 April, 2019, 09:19:17 am
^^^THIS^^^
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 09 April, 2019, 09:29:45 am
I'm tempted to do the same. In the five months I've been here, I've not received a single call that I couldn't have managed without.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 April, 2019, 09:32:23 am
I now have to spend twenty minutes of my life doing a 'don't click a phishing link' online training course because fumblepaws me dropped a banana on his keyboard which pressed the link in the not-so-cunningly disguised test email that just happened to be sitting open.

It's currently taking through a very laboured explanation of what an URL is. Bastard banana.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 09 April, 2019, 09:34:42 am
I now have to spend twenty minutes of my life doing a 'don't click a phishing link' online training course because fumblepaws me dropped a banana on his keyboard which pressed the link in the not-so-cunningly disguised test email that just happened to be sitting open.

I advise you never to use a hoover. You'll end up in A&E having to convince the nurses that your implausible story is really, definitely true, honest.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 April, 2019, 09:41:05 am
Whatever I told A&E, it's true.

I failed the course because it was full of 'ah, but the URL is spelled with a 'rn' and not 'rl' so you should have caught it' which would have been easier if there had been any means to see the actual link in the pretend email because hovering didn't work. Eventual random clickage saw me through.

Anyway, I'm not responsible for my banana.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 09 April, 2019, 01:02:36 pm
Anyway, I'm not responsible for my banana.

...said Donald Trump...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jasmine on 09 April, 2019, 03:16:20 pm
I now have to spend twenty minutes of my life doing a 'don't click a phishing link' online training course because ....blah blah

Think youself lucky it's only 20 minutes.  Our online safety course is at least 45 minutes. It's one of those where there's some text on a screen and a disembodied voice reads it out, which takes 4 times longer than just reading it. It won't let you click next until the voice has finished. It was rolled out as a manadatory annual training after several people not only clicked on a phishing link, but went on to enter all their passwords into the linked page.  It was not a test.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 April, 2019, 03:44:31 pm
Fortunately, my banana (now deceased) can't type a password or I would have been in more trouble. There's was a longer more tedious course some time back, this was a refresher because I'd been 'caught out.' There was no option to record a banana (or other fruit)-based mishap.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 April, 2019, 05:18:33 pm
Got pissed off at MrsT the other day for bringing home green bananas because they were bio rather than the ripe ones which weren't, so I pointedly bought a bunch of ripe non-bio ones today.

Once home, realized that hers are all yellow now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 09 April, 2019, 05:26:14 pm
I think it was about 2 years ago that I discovered that green bananananas were a thing.  I knew they came in green-that-I-call-yellow and manky brown, according to ripeness, but as I despise bananas I'd somehow gone through life without learning that green-that-I also-call-yellow-but-other-people-call-green was a possibility when they weren't still attached to a tree in another hemisphere.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 April, 2019, 06:02:02 pm
Any fule know, red bananas are bestest.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 April, 2019, 06:12:56 pm
Red bananas are okay but I prefer yellow ones.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 09 April, 2019, 06:26:55 pm
Brown bananas are interesting.

Black bananas are good for teh lolz with sensitive weeds.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 09 April, 2019, 06:50:46 pm
Fortunately, my banana (now deceased) can't type a password or I would have been in more trouble. There's was a longer more tedious course some time back, this was a refresher because I'd been 'caught out.' There was no option to record a banana (or other fruit)-based mishap.

That’s a relief. When bananas gain sentience we should all be worried.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: arabella on 09 April, 2019, 09:25:45 pm
...
GSM codec throwing away half the audio, and this way I can at least force g.711 on my leg.  (Still stuffed if the other party is on a mobile, or a lowest-bidder VOIP connection to Elbonia, of course.) 
... streaming realtime bidirectional audio over The Devil's Radio, which is asking for trouble when you live somewhere where the WiFi band is so congested that it would give the Daily Mail cancer.

Voicemail ... Caller ID
Asterisk ... CID n
...
[1] When not nobbled in the firmware, because mobiles tend to be sold wholesale to telecoms companies.
Victory!  I understood all of the above  ;D  (trimmed on the basis that you will have read the original.)
Now, where did I put that VN/VRF stuff I was trying to get to grips with.

As regards divvery, I misjudged the speed with which a bus was charging up the hill and nearly got myself run over.  Makes a change from other people nearly getting me run over, which happened at the other end of the same commute.  sigh.  "Sorry, didn't see you"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 10 April, 2019, 09:48:54 pm
Oh look, I appear to have wandered in here again.

Well, for those readers curious to know what happens when you are defrosting a piece of plastic-bagged frozen rolled brisket, using the OVEN defrost setting, and at some indeterminate point before completion of said activity turn the oven to cook (160 fan) by  mistake and leave it there  for ...ooooo a good while.....I can tell you that you can recover from it by cooking a further many hours and you can hardly taste the plastic.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 April, 2019, 10:20:08 pm
reminds me of the time my sister cooked a roast chicken but didn't spot the elastic string holding it in a nice neat package.  You could just about eat round the rubbery taste
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 April, 2019, 08:01:16 am
Whilst a young lady in my papa's circle when he was a youth failed a domestic science exam when the supervisor informed her that the floorcloth she was using to mop up something she'd spilt was actually the tripe she was supposed to cook.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 11 April, 2019, 12:27:53 pm
I needed the large supermarket carrier bag this morning. Looking in it I found the pack of frozen beefburgers* I'd forgotten to unpack last Saturday.

* I only bought them to replace the pack I'd bought the previous week that turned out to contain an ingredient I'm allergic to >:(

At lest the local feral cats are getting free meals.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 11 April, 2019, 01:00:56 pm
Not sure I qualify, yet, but time will tell.

After some deliberation (well, about an hour) I've taken delivery of a non-running, Canadian re-imported, Triumph 750.  Fortunately with the management's support.

It turns over, has good compression and clearly has done nothing since the engine was re-bulit.  But why did they seem to use any fastener they had to hand when they put the engine back together and couldn't find the bolt they'd taken out?  If that was their mentality, are there any gremlins inside the engine that I can't see?  But there are a number of small parts with it that I'll need, and clearly the original owner had intended to get it running again.  But why did he stop?  Too big a job, a major fault?  Or a simply few years ahead of me on the slippery slope.

But, it has new tyres, the chrome is good, wheels are good, and it's almost all there.

I just hope this isn't going to qualify me as the Div of all time.....  I just hope.......

Phew.  I think I've avoided divishness - but there's one hurdle left.

The Tiger now runs quite nicely. It doesn't clatter any more than you'd expect for a 45 year old agricultural design of typical British motorcycle.  It doesn't seem to drip any more oil then my good old, much-missed 1968 Daytona (sob, sob) used to do.  It doesn't billow blue smoke out of the exhausts.

There's one remaining opportunity for divvishness:  getting an age-related UK registration number, so it's VED and MOT exempt.  I should be entitled to that black and white J plate. Let's see.....  I could still be the biggest div of all time.

Phew, I've avoided a huge bout of divvishness.  DVLA have given me a 1971 reg no and classed my Tiger 750 as an historic vehicle, VED and MOT Exempt. Could not have asked for more.  I feel very relieved.  Classic black and silver number plate ordered, a few minor tweaks to complete and the bike will be ready to go.  Not sure if I am though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 11 April, 2019, 01:53:50 pm
Typo's involving the words 'such kits' can cause all sorts of trouble when you miss out the 'h', get the space in the wrong place and insert an extra 't'  :-[  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 11 April, 2019, 01:55:59 pm
Typo's involving the words 'such kits' can cause all sorts of trouble when you miss out the 'h', get the space in the wrong place and insert an extra 't'  :-[  :facepalm:

That sounds more like a freudian slip than a typo.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 11 April, 2019, 02:24:53 pm
Typo's involving the words 'such kits' can cause all sorts of trouble when you miss out the 'h', get the space in the wrong place and insert an extra 't'  :-[  :facepalm:

That sounds more like a freudian slip than a typo.

That was pointed out to me  :hand:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 11 April, 2019, 02:31:16 pm
It could be worse, at least the reviewer was male, unlike the time I sent a windows messenger thing to a rather buxom colleague asking 'Are you busy?', you may have noticed the 't' is next to the 'y'.

Fortunately she saw the funny side.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 11 April, 2019, 03:09:07 pm
Doing a HAZOP for a water treatment works I once mistyped Pumping Station

The I is next to the U
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 11 April, 2019, 04:15:39 pm
What's a pumpung station ?  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 11 April, 2019, 04:28:13 pm
Doing a HAZOP for a water treatment works I once mistyped Pumping Station

The I is next to the U

I've just spent 3.5 days in a WTW HAZOP.  :hand: *looks for sleepy and brain dead smiley* (we still have one day to go looking at the Ozone systems and circa 7 outstanding nodes) but thankfully the chair goes on holiday tomorrow so we have two weeks till we will reconvene. Fortunately I was not the Scribe so I could not demonstrate this divishness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 12 April, 2019, 04:22:07 pm
Ordered a pair of grips for littlest monkeys isla bike. They arrived with a new inner tube. Put aside to sort later. Later came and I'd lost one of the grips. Much hunting failed to find lost one. Assumed it had accidentally gone with packaging in recycling. Just went to order a replacement pair. They are sold singularly. Only ever ordered one...... Stupid boy but does make them a tad dear
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Flathead on 12 April, 2019, 09:01:34 pm
Last Thursday I had a day off work and decided to spend the day in Cambridge doing a bit of clothes shopping. Being a 56 year old male I clothes shop on a regular basis, approximately every five years.

I live in a village about 30 miles from Cambridge and would normally choose to drive to the park & ride at Trumpington but, as I had all day, opted to take the bus all the way from my village and along the new guided bus route. This way, I thought I could have a few beers with my lunch and not worry about driving back. What’s not to like?

So I paid my £7 and settled down on the bus for a leisurely journey. It was as I attempted to put my bus ticket into my wallet for the return journey that I discovered my first senior moment of the day. I had forgotton my wallet! Luckily we were only just leaving the village and so I got the driver to stop the bus, returned home for my wallet and caught the next bus an hour later. No real drama, still feeling relaxed.

To my amazement the journey to Cambridge took one hour and forty minutes! Well, that meant a few beers with lunch were out of the question as there was no way I could cope with that length of journey on a full bladder.

In John Lewis I tried on four pairs of trousers, same style, just in two different waist sizes and leg lengths. One of the pairs fitted perfectly and I opted to leave them in the shop and buy them just before I caught the bus home. This way I wouldn’t have to risk another senior moment and leave them in a cafe or other shop.

Several hours later I returned to John Lewis and experienced my second senior moment of the day. I couldn’t remember which size had bloody  fitted and so had to try them all on again (I probably don’t need to mention that the correct pair were the last ones I tried).

I’m such a fecking div!

And after spending three hours and twenty minutes bouncing about on a bus with various ignorant numpties bawling into their phones all around me, if I ever see a bus again it will be too soon.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 April, 2019, 08:30:37 am
That's what you get for going clothes-shopping so often. Mind you, I must've done a bit in the last 5 years or so myself - the other week I found two new pairs of trousers in the bottom of the wardrobe. I know they're recent since I can get into them without needing a shoe-horn and a defibrillator.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 April, 2019, 09:09:35 am
A personal best for me last night.

I did all the necessary actions to produce a very fine "Rustic French" loaf as per the Panasonic Breadmaker instruction book, but forgot to close the lid.

So this morning we have a very pallid loaf an inch or so lower than normal. I've just bunged it in the oven for 20 minutes or so on a regulo 6 to turn it into something a bit more palatable.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 April, 2019, 10:20:45 am
When yours is used properly, how do the crusts turn out?  We have one from Riviera & Bar, and the crusts come out like Kevlar.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 April, 2019, 03:10:15 pm
Very carefully order drivechain components.

Look up chainring online - tiagra 4500 - that's 130bcd.

Strip down bike on weekend, ugh, horrible dirty job. Get old, very, very worn chainring off, get new one out of its packaging and offer it up to the spider . . .

You fecking, div, the spider is 110bcd.

Anyone want to buy a brand new, with packaging and greasy thumbprints, 130BCD 46 tooth outer?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 April, 2019, 07:21:55 am
Look up chainring online

FYI no need to look it up online - the BCD should be marked on the inside of the crank.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 15 April, 2019, 08:08:45 am
Look up chainring online

FYI no need to look it up online - the BCD should be marked on the inside of the crank.

So much oil and crap on the chainset I couldn't read the BCD from the chainring. should have waited until I got home, sprayed with wd40 and scrubbed it all off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 April, 2019, 10:07:53 am
Are any recent Shimano chainrings 130BCD? I thought they were all 110. But then that's the kind of assumption that leads to ordering the wrong parts...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Blade on 15 April, 2019, 10:25:07 am
Fitting a new chain on my bike. Powerlink connector is VERY reluctant to click into its locking position. When I finally get it to engage, I discover that I haven't run the chain through the front changer, which is a solid cage. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 April, 2019, 02:40:49 pm
We haven't paid our council tax yet, the first instalment of which was due on 3rd April. Not my fault, guv - never got anything through the post by way of a reminder...

Oh, wait, hang on... didn't I sign up for paperless billing last year so it will have been sent by email?

<checks inbox>

Ah, yes, there it is, buried amid a sea of spam.

Luckily, they haven't sent the bailiffs round yet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 April, 2019, 03:36:53 pm
They don't mind much if you miss a tax payment here, they just add 10% to the bill when you do pay.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 April, 2019, 04:33:06 pm
They don't mind much if you miss a tax payment here, they just add 10% to the bill when you do pay.

I think I'm fortunate that Canterbury Council aren't that efficient.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 April, 2019, 05:23:24 pm
It's a rather different situation here: property and habitation taxes are collected by the same tax office as income tax, but bills for services such as sewage disposal and water are handled locally. The tax office is a stickler for prompt payment with an added 10% for being late whereas the local council will wait months with no extra penalty. Then they hand it to the  central tax office in Lille who start dunning you more seriously.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 April, 2019, 06:02:58 pm
No bill here either. So I contacted them via council website on 1st April. No reply. Went to the office today and a man with a 1950s hairstyle said they'd said another bill, but not to worry cos they don't get around to sending out reminders till May.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 16 April, 2019, 07:49:29 am
My Council definitely sent me a paperless Council Tax bill and has been taking monthly Direct Debits.

I was on annual whole bill paper bills and payments till quite recently after two attempt to pay by DD resulted in my receiving red bills for non-payment due to THEIR divvishness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 April, 2019, 09:34:29 am
Some divishness on my part instead, nothing to do with council tax: on Sunday I fitted new mudguards. They work fine, as I proved on Sunday and on Monday morning. But when I got home on Monday I decided to adjust them further. That was the first act of divishness. The second was to do this wearing my (one remaining) jumper in decent condition. The third was to lean around the bike to adjust the other side while spinning the wheel (to check clearance). Yes, my (one remaining) jumper in decent condition now has a friction hole of my own making. (The others, if you care, fell victim to our highly successful moth-breeding programme.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 April, 2019, 03:41:09 pm
French electrical wall fittings come with two little claws which are pulled out sideways by screws to grip the sides of a cup which is fastened into the wall by screws, plugs, etc.  The cup stays in the wall permanently and you buy the rest as a single unit.

At least you did the last time I bought one. I found out yesterday that you now buy the switch and the surround for it as separate bits so that you can mix and match colours. Yeah, OK, I thought, I'll play.  And so just now I removed the dickery lightswitch in the bathroom, in the process of which a bit which should have sprung loose broke instead, but who cares? Then I unwrapped the new unit, and:

Where are the bloody little claws???

It's the same system all right, but they're obviously now sold separately.  :facepalm:  And the claws from the old unit don't fit. And it's Good Friday so the shops in Alsace are shut.  :facepalm: :facepalm:

I refitted the old switch and it's safe but non-functional. :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 19 April, 2019, 05:19:15 pm
Sounds like a right load of griffe to me.

IGMC...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 April, 2019, 11:49:56 am
I hate cleaning bikes with derailleur gears.  I generally find it quicker to take the cassette off and scrub it in the sink with Fairy Platinum rather than faff about trying to clean it on the bike and getting degreaser in the hub bearings.

Anyway, I did this on Tuesday, reassembled it and rode it for a couple of days.  All worked perfectly.

Last night I found the 14T sprocket in the kitchen.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 21 April, 2019, 02:17:55 pm
I hate cleaning bikes with derailleur gears.  I generally find it quicker to take the cassette off and scrub it in the sink with Fairy Platinum rather than faff about trying to clean it on the bike and getting degreaser in the hub bearings.

Anyway, I did this on Tuesday, reassembled it and rode it for a couple of days.  All worked perfectly.

Last night I found the 14T sprocket in the kitchen.

So, the 14 tooth sprocket is in the kitchen. What went onto the free hub body in it's place? Are you missing some sliced cucmber?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 April, 2019, 03:24:56 pm
Nothing.  It just worked!  The 14T is flat and there is a plastic spacer, which I had fitted.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 21 April, 2019, 07:28:40 pm
I hate cleaning bikes with derailleur gears.  I generally find it quicker to take the cassette off and scrub it in the sink with Fairy Platinum rather than faff about trying to clean it on the bike and getting degreaser in the hub bearings.

Anyway, I did this on Tuesday, reassembled it and rode it for a couple of days.  All worked perfectly.

Last night I found the 14T sprocket in the kitchen.

Ah, yes. I have form there...

https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=95565.msg2258609#msg2258609
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Edd on 25 April, 2019, 07:20:24 pm
What's that sound? Oh right, the spring of a safety pin rubbing against my mudguard. That would mean the pointy end is... Yep.
Ok, my cycle repair kit is just in... Oh yes, my other bag.  :facepalm:
Now, When's the next train and how far to the station?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 25 April, 2019, 09:43:51 pm
The flat seemed strangely warm when I got home tonight.   Yes, forgetting to switch off the 50W valve amp when you go to bed & leaving it running for 18 hours will definitely take the chill off...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 April, 2019, 12:17:06 am
The flat seemed strangely warm when I got home tonight.   Yes, forgetting to switch off the 50W valve amp when you go to bed & leaving it running for 18 hours will definitely take the chill off...  :facepalm:

On the plus side, it should be nicely warmed up and stable...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 26 April, 2019, 06:51:01 pm
In the shower following my run at lunchtime.
Finish, open the shower curtain, where is the towel?
Still in the changing room at the other end of the corridor.
So, put the running shorts and shirt back on and drip my way there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 May, 2019, 02:59:02 pm
Sliced my thumb doing the washing up last night while vigorously scrubbing a cheese knife.  The scourery bit of the sponge snagged and OW!  That's the most pain I've been in since I got in the shower after the baboon-bottom road-rash incident.

It bled like a bastard for a few seconds, but my monkey-brain programming kicked in and clamped the fingers of my left hand around the injury with enough force that the circulation of both was affected.  Serious willpower required to let go for long enough to have a look and apply a dressing.

Having slept it off (helped by the exhaustion of a long day and silly bike racing), it doesn't actually look that bad, but it's a decent slice across the inside of the thumb about 7mm below the crease, and trying to use the thumb for anything strenuous just splits it open again.  So I've been making a left-handed mess of the kitchen and weirding out barakta by using my fingers to hold things the way she does.

Nowhere near as serious as that time I used a Stanley knife without adult supervision, but at least that one was mostly painless.  I suppose I'll have to eschew the upwrongs until it's healed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 06 May, 2019, 03:17:23 pm
Ouch! Late night cheese bingeing is bad for you. 


Nastiest self inflicted cut I had was from a serrated bread knife, that took ages to heal.


Superglue?  Probably best applied by a Trained Professional.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 May, 2019, 03:24:19 pm
Superglue?  Probably best applied by a Trained Professional.

I considered that last night.  Then I considered the likely outcome of attempting to do anything with superglue left-handed, and since it had stopped bleeding, decided to leave it until the morning.

At least I can still type.


(The real injustice is that it wasn't even from *my* cheese!)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 May, 2019, 05:15:06 pm
You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 May, 2019, 06:08:32 pm
You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   :(

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 May, 2019, 06:13:30 pm
Ouch! Late night cheese bingeing is bad for you. 


Nastiest self inflicted cut I had was from a serrated bread knife, that took ages to heal.


Superglue?  Probably best applied by a Trained Professional.

nastiest self-inflicted cut I had was from a new bowsaw blade. that one did require superglue applied by a professional and still restricts my left index finger comfortable  bending range
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 06 May, 2019, 08:48:28 pm
Mine was using a wooden rule to guide a craft knife. That ended with tip of my left index finger getting sliced off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 06 May, 2019, 09:26:46 pm
Is it just me, I wonder? That moment, it doesn't last long and is best described as the triumph of hope over experience. You know you have Done Something to yourself. Again. The pain hasn't yet kicked in, possibly coz it was proper sharp. There's a certain wetness which suggests bodily fluids. There may even have been an unusual degree of contact between an external object and your internal bony bits. But. If you don't look at it, maybe it hasn't happened?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 06 May, 2019, 09:57:09 pm
You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   :(

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)

Really? I put mine in there all the time! :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 May, 2019, 11:32:52 pm
You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   :(

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)

Really? I put mine in there all the time! :o

Interesting.  Maybe it was just coincidence that my last one died after accidentally going through the wash?

Current one seems to be suffering from sweat-induced band slackness, rather than dodgy contacts.  Intermittent for the first ten minutes unless I actually spit on the pads, works well for about an hour, then it starts reading the heartrate of a fit person unless I stop and tighten the band.  I suppose I should invest in a new one preemptively.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 07 May, 2019, 06:06:14 am
You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   :(

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)

Really? I put mine in there all the time! :o

Interesting.  Maybe it was just coincidence that my last one died after accidentally going through the wash?

Current one seems to be suffering from sweat-induced band slackness, rather than dodgy contacts.  Intermittent for the first ten minutes unless I actually spit on the pads, works well for about an hour, then it starts reading the heartrate of a fit person unless I stop and tighten the band.  I suppose I should invest in a new one preemptively.

the newer Garmin ones I have are supposed to be washed, every ten uses I think. I have two and alternate them every other week. in my case its been the clip on transmitter thingy that has failed, twice
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 May, 2019, 08:19:08 am
I think it says 7x with a washing-machine icon on mine (Polar, circumcised for a  Garmin-compatible Ciclosport transmitter), but when I come in for a ride I chuck it in the wash-basin and let it soak in soapy water while I have my shower, then in plain water while I dry off. Then I fish it out & rinse it, fold up the floppy end & squeeze the water out then hang it up to dry.  Last ride but 2 or 3 I was a bit pooped and realized too late that I had folded up the wrong end.

It still works, but one of the contact pads has a little fan of cracks like crow's feet. I'm wondering if I could squeeze some adhesive in there to seal it without buggering anything up. It'd be better than sweat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 07 May, 2019, 12:27:21 pm
I still use the old style Garmin HRM bands, where the strap's only job is to hold the transceiver part in position. However I used to use the Polar "smart" straps with the contacts woven in, and in 5 years of being washed post every ride I had no issues. But I never was one for wringing them out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 08 May, 2019, 10:34:10 pm
I'd be eating my tea and watching Anthony Bourdain right now had I not spent set the oven to defrost rather than cook. I guess I'll be eating at eleven then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 12 May, 2019, 06:20:41 pm
Continued shortish runs, near to home, of my 73 Triumph Tiger 750, all to build a bit of confidence that it's not going to let me down miles from home.  Except today I got a bit braver and went off piste.  About a 16 mile round trip.  About half way around it started the odd cough, and hiccup.  Turned for home.  But coming back into the village it was backfiring, clearly unhappy, and I wasn't at all sure I'd get home.  But I did.

On inspection, it was clearly a bit hot.  Misfire.  Must be the ignition timing that I'd set on Friday with my new strobe.  It's known that the magnet plate that triggers the coils can move in the end of the camshaft and I hadn't checked the tightness of the bolt.  Did that first.  Tight.  Hmm.  OK.. Back to basics, check magnet position relative to TDC.  Bang on at 38 degrees before.  Nothing's moved.  So why the unhappy motorcycle?  What's changed?  The electronic ignition unit is known to be a bit sensitive to low voltage.  Is the alternator working?  Out with the meter.  16V at revs.  That's a bit high but OK.  Battery showing 13V.  So, not the ignition unit.  Presumably.

What does an internal combustion engine need?  Compression (check), spark (check, and at the right time), fuel.. Ah, hang on.  I'd put a gallon and a bit in when I first got it on the road 3 weeks ago, and I've done 60 miles since then.  And I went out today with just the main tap on, not the reserve.

Turned the reserve on and the carb filled.  Went out for another 6 miles, not a hint of a misfire.  Nothing, zilch.  Ran quite sweetly, for a 1937-designed British parallel twin.

Must get some petrol tomorrow....

Muppet.





Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 15 May, 2019, 09:21:13 am
10 minutes ago I discovered that I have been one day ahead for most of this week.  Probably something to do with having spent three days in bed with a nasty infection. (Proper 'flu?)
I even put the bins out last night (Tuesday) which won't be collected until Thursday.
Although I was wrong on the day of the week, I did know the correct date.. Which was very lucky as it is Mrs B s birthday today.
Phew.  That could have gone very badly. :-*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 May, 2019, 09:26:16 am
10 minutes ago I discovered that I have been one day ahead for most of this week.

That's nothing. M'colleague discovered yesterday that all the late nights he's been putting in recently were pointless as he is in fact two weeks ahead, thanks to misreading his production schedule.

It's the kind of problem I would love to have.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JennyB on 15 May, 2019, 10:42:13 am
Fitted an old square-taper crankset to a bike that used to have a spliney FSA one


Problem 1. Although the bb was the same length,  the old crank really needed a longer one: the spider was too close to the chainstay. It would have to come out
Problem 2  The left-hand crank extractor thread was strpped.


Solution 1 Take the bolt off, and ride it to see if it comes lose on its own.
Problem 3  No matter how I try to fettle it, the spider will always start rubbing after a few miles
Solution 2  Ring friendly local garage man to ask if he can help


Before taking it down, remove RH crank and fettle bb one last time. Replace crank. Where is crank bolt? Ah, there it is. Tighten down crank hard, and remove from stand.


Attempt to ride.
RH crank falls off.
Where is crank bolt?
You've guessed it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 May, 2019, 11:39:25 am
Not me, my partner.

"Take my own laptop so step daughter can use it for her degree show" says I.

So MrsC does take my laptop, out of the cupboard, unplugs the power lead from the wall and takes that.

The power lead from the wall, the one for my *work* laptop.

So I decide I'm too ill to face commuting to work today, discover I don't have a power lead (it is now in York), and step daughter doesn't have a usable laptop for her degree show because the power lead is in Cambridge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 17 May, 2019, 12:44:33 pm
Twofers!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 May, 2019, 02:46:28 pm
Having just clicked accept to a series of the usual indeterminably dull meetings, I noticed that my calendar was set to Central European Time and thus that's the time I like to go swimming. Need to think of a proper business excuse to extricate myself. Also, I don't know what idiots at the leisure centre thought the best time for an open swimming session would be 3.15-4pm (on the plus side, this usually means it's me plus two, now I'll have to go to the evening scrum).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Vince on 21 May, 2019, 06:14:13 pm
I have spent a day chasing a bug in a C program. After debugging deep, deep into various libraries to find out why no data was being returned, I realised that the function that reports the data was being given the address of the returned data instead of the data itself. Delete one asterisk and all is now working.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 May, 2019, 11:32:49 pm
I'm not sure getting confused by pointers because you weren't paying attention counts as divvery.  We've all done it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 May, 2019, 08:31:33 am
I'm not sure getting confused by pointers because you weren't paying attention counts as divvery.  We've all done it.

Yeah. I used to be able to handle three layers of indirection before it all went to hell - I often wondered if that hadn't to do with visualizing things in 3D.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 28 May, 2019, 12:53:29 pm
We are a Tech Company. We use Web Meetings. We use Instant Messages, we Know what we are Doing.

So who was it, do you suppose that sent an instant message to the owner of a meeting who was sharing their screen, suggesting that the current speaker needed a <rude word> pause button? You know, the sort of instant message that pops up on screen. That screen that's being shared?

On the positive front, it worked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 28 May, 2019, 01:13:17 pm
 ;D  ;D  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 28 May, 2019, 02:17:14 pm
Oops.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 May, 2019, 02:20:55 pm
I think I mentioned the time my wife sent me a quick message that read 'your cat has just done a really stinky shit' (without qualifying it was in the litter tray, for bonus points). Which wasn't really anything I needed to know, nor for that matter did the 200 or so people in front of me at the time. Reminder to self, slide the do-not-disturb button over to the 'on' position...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 May, 2019, 03:01:11 pm
mine was slightly less embarrasing, just IT trying to get hold of me while I was in the middle of a closing meeting
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 May, 2019, 04:22:15 pm
If it was any consolation, every question in the Q&A was not about anything I'd presented but about my cats.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 29 May, 2019, 03:06:35 pm
Went shopping for shower gel and conditioner. Came home with shampoo and conditioner. I don't need more shampoo.  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bludger on 29 May, 2019, 03:29:18 pm
Am now ill and have been for two days. I think I accelerated my volume and intensity of cycling too fast after my last exam and I'm now paying the price. :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: caerau on 29 May, 2019, 03:51:16 pm
Went shopping for shower gel and conditioner. Came home with shampoo and conditioner. I don't need more shampoo.  :(


It's just possible that it's just as good as cleaning your body as shower gel is.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 May, 2019, 04:00:20 pm
Yeah. I once visited a company that sold various household products including shower gel and floor cleaner. They had 30-40 different bottles in the foyer display cabinet and three big tanks in back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 May, 2019, 04:53:06 pm
the difference is the additives and the difference between solid and liquid soap is a choice of one or other of two specific ingredientr, IIRC from a dokimentary wot I watched
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 May, 2019, 06:33:39 pm
Went shopping for shower gel and conditioner. Came home with shampoo and conditioner. I don't need more shampoo.  :(


It's just possible that it's just as good as cleaning your body as shower gel is.

I tend to find that (unless I'm covered in oil or something) by the time I've washed my hair, most of my body is clean anyway.

YHMV.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 30 May, 2019, 11:06:09 am
Spray starch is not an effective substitute for spray deodorant/antiperspirant.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 May, 2019, 11:34:47 am
Shower gel is just shampoo with more gelling agents, it's all detergent and surfactant. I couldn't reach the shampoo from the bath the other day, so I used the bubble bath. I didn't die and I have a reputation for tidy hair to uphold.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 31 May, 2019, 01:02:10 pm
Yes, I'm using shampoo as I have no shower gel. The shower gel is gloopier though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 May, 2019, 01:10:09 pm
Mines not, as adding Tea Tree oil to it destroys the gloop factors. (It's a lot cheaper to take an unscented shower gel and add TTO as opposed to buying TTO "branded" products).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 May, 2019, 03:04:04 pm
Almost a div today: found myself holding the soluble centre of the expired toilet roll and on the point of chucking the roller out of the holder down the loo.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 01 June, 2019, 08:33:29 pm
Gave myself a nice, neat No.1 trim (3mm).   Took the guard off, cleaned the clippers & put a drop of oil on them.  Bzzzzzzz  :thumbsup:       To check I ran them over my head again.  Oh , I really didn't mean to do that. Had to do the entire lot down to the wood so the stripe didn't look odd  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 June, 2019, 07:56:15 am
Gave myself a nice, neat No.1 trim (3mm).   Took the guard off, cleaned the clippers & put a drop of oil on them.  Bzzzzzzz  :thumbsup:       To check I ran them over my head again.  Oh , I really didn't mean to do that. Had to do the entire lot down to the wood so the stripe didn't look odd  :facepalm:

You could have gone for the badger look. alternating stripes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 04 June, 2019, 09:02:38 am
Sharpening a chisel on the bench strop, went off the end of the leather on the back-stroke. Blade caught on the edge of the leather on the forward stroke, went off-course and into the palm of my left hand.  4mm chisel and it didn't go deep but it's right where the handlebars go. Arse.

No, that's not where the handlebars go, I'm not Danny MacAskill.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 08 June, 2019, 11:39:51 am
Double divvery this morning:

Forgot to take my barcode to parkrun, so no official time registered, and therefore an extra week until I reach my 250.

Realised on the way home that actually I had my spare barcode token on my keyring which had been in my pocket all the time... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 June, 2019, 07:15:52 am
bought a bottle of "craft" gin yesterday, with one of those foil caps and a cork.  not noticing that I'd not fully removed the rip strip, I gripped the cork and twisted, slicing my fingertip on the sharp edge of the partially removed rip strip in the process.

my high-pitched yelp was enough to call swmbo from the living room, followed by a pithy comment "told you alcohol was bad for you"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 June, 2019, 07:31:26 am
So much for mother's ruin.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 June, 2019, 01:06:03 pm
In spite of putting gaffer tape over the button I managed to incinerate last night's dinner by accidentally operating the grill, thereby filling half the house with 'orrid stinky smoke again.  The only plus in the whole sorry business was that this time it wasn't fish.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 18 June, 2019, 01:20:45 pm
I spent most of the morning trying to get the colour printer at work to print for me only to find I'd been sending my test pages to the black and white one. In my defense I was given the IP address for the black and white one and not the colour one that I'd requested.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 June, 2019, 01:27:48 pm
Strove with might & main to open a plastic Wolfcraft box then hauled it over to the workshop threatening doom & screwdrivers; where, in the different lighting, I perceived the wide piece of sticky tape holding it closed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 18 June, 2019, 02:45:19 pm
I'm sure that when I reached up to grab my can of deodorant, I didn't so much as touch the clock that was sitting on top of the bathroom cabinet alongside it. And yet I must have done because a moment later...

Today I have mostly been researching new bathroom basins.

The bathroom clock now sits on the window sill.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: tiermat on 19 June, 2019, 04:12:43 pm
My new, temporary, job requires me to either drive or train /cycle.

I decided on the latter, naturally. Bought a folder, for train reasons, starting to get into a routine. This morning I needed to swap bags as I need to take my laptop home. Bag duly swapped and off to work I went. Once at work I realised that the polo shirt that I had found out for work was in my other bag. Cue having to sit at work in sweaty, damp (it was raining too) cycling jersey and undershirt all day!

I am taking multiple ones in tomorrow, as emergency spares.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 29 June, 2019, 05:21:01 pm
On holiday, getting ready to go diving, I open up my camera housing, to extract camera battery to charge it, to discover said battery is 200 miles away at home. Bugger. No underwater photos.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 29 June, 2019, 08:57:55 pm
I bought the wrong Apple Pencil for David's birthday, engraved with his name and everyfink.

Still, getting the right kind and writing off the cost is much less than getting a compatible iPad Pro.

I should really have researched this better...

David seems quite fond of the pencil cos it's got his name on it, despite it being useless for him...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 June, 2019, 08:52:49 am
In the wee small hoors yesterday morning (well, 6 am) I opened the workshop windows and set up a fan blowing in delightfully cool air at 18°C.

Came back from my ride towards noon to find it still blowing, and 28°C in the workshop. Duh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 June, 2019, 12:58:00 pm
Common Tater: Yeeeees! It's there!
Studio Noises off:  Whoop, Yay, etc.
CT:  Hold on, the officials are looking at this.  What do you think, Gary?
Gary Plank (MBE.  Ex British number 1 Div, Olympic Bronze medalist):  It looked good to me, Common. Let's see what the slow mo shows us.
CT: Here it comes now.
GP: See? Perfect positioning. The pot of paint, the paint brush in hand, the mug of tea – classic.
CT: Right Garry, this is it, the brush is on its way. Its moving, it...
GP: Important to say, Common, there's no sign of hesitation, no direction changes.  The judges will like that.
GP: And yes! There it goes.  Doesn't touch the sides.  Clinical.
CT: They've given it.  Beautiful.  Reminds me of you in your pomp, Gary.  I think we have a contender for next year's Worlds.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 30 June, 2019, 01:24:04 pm
<fx:scratches head>
I know I’ve been paining with spirit based paint, but really... have I fallen into a parallel universe or is it just the effects of said spirit based paint fume inhalation? 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 30 June, 2019, 01:28:03 pm
Judging by your avatar, it may be time to change the filter in your mask....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 30 June, 2019, 03:49:38 pm
Judging by your avatar, it may be time to change the filter in your mask....
i can’t do that until September/October  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 30 June, 2019, 07:22:38 pm
GP: And yes! There it goes.  Doesn't touch the sides.  Clinical.
But we don't know what colour the paint is!  How can we tell whether or not the tea tasted better or worse afterwards?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 June, 2019, 07:49:30 pm
GP: And yes! There it goes.  Doesn't touch the sides.  Clinical.
But we don't know what colour the paint is!  How can we tell whether or not the tea tasted better or worse afterwards?

White Hammerite.  Tea looked fine, as did the brush.
No. I ditched them both.

Plenty of scope for a repetition.  I've started the mamouth task of my over ornate railings.
https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=97858.msg2037778#msg2037778
  I may be some time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 June, 2019, 08:02:13 pm
Stopping a pedal car at race speed using my hair:  Type 3 fun (https://www.tetongravity.com/story/adventure/the-three-and-a-half-types-of-fun-explained).

Somehow I seem to have escaped with bruises to the back of my head, achy shoulders and a haircut.  (In my defence, it had been fine for hours, and I didn't know there was a hidden gap in the fairing between the seat and the spinny bits.)

My "Pedal cars are silly." hypothesis remains unfalsified.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 July, 2019, 08:30:20 am
:Ouch:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 01 July, 2019, 08:38:35 am
Stopping a pedal car at race speed using my hair:  Type 3 fun (https://www.tetongravity.com/story/adventure/the-three-and-a-half-types-of-fun-explained).

Somehow I seem to have escaped with bruises to the back of my head, achy shoulders and a haircut.  (In my defence, it had been fine for hours, and I didn't know there was a hidden gap in the fairing between the seat and the spinny bits.)

My "Pedal cars are silly." hypothesis remains unfalsified.
Huh - I seem to remember commenting, on the way to Tan Hill, that it was amazing that your hair didn't get caught in your rear wheel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 July, 2019, 01:02:47 pm
Things I learned today: Jon Krakauer writes novels.  OK, some people has disagreed with his version of history, but that's not quite the same thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 July, 2019, 01:21:56 pm
Huh - I seem to remember commenting, on the way to Tan Hill, that it was amazing that your hair didn't get caught in your rear wheel.

I've been quite careful about it, since narrowly avoiding an incident when I unthinkingly test rode an ICE Vortex (the first recumbent I tried where my hair could easily reach the wheel) some years ago.

It flaps about a lot but never quite reaches the wheel on the Streetmachine - main issue there is velcro on rack bags, which is tangly but harmless.  It can just about reach the wheel on barakta's ICE Sprint if I have the seat fully reclined, so I tend to tie my hair up if I'm using that in winter (if I'm just testing or using it to haul a trailer, I'll keep the seat upright).  The Baron has a headrest which doesn't play well with tied up hair (it tends to come undone on long rides), so I decided the safest option was to completely enclose the top half of the wheel/gears rather than fighting with hair, which has the added advantage of less overheating.

I checked for hair entanglement risk with the wheels/brakes when setting up[1] the pedal car, and it was fine.  The drivetrain appeared to be enclosed by the fairing, so I didn't have a proper grope around for hidden gaps behind the seat.  :facepalm:

ETA: Thinking about it further, it seems likely there was airflow into to gap when the car was in motion.

Jes says it's the first time one of his cars has tried to eat somebody.   :-[


Anyway I'm feeling much better having had eleventy hours sleep and some of barakta's finest painkillers.  Shoulder's a bit stiff, there's bruising on the back of my head (I assume from where the adjusty bit of my helmet was crushed between my head and the top of the seat), and a grazed knuckle from applying I-don't-care-where-the-car-goes-just-lock-the-axle-NOW amounts of braking when I worked out what was going on (which didn't work, but possibly scrubbed enough momentum that I still have a scalp/spine) and that's about it.  I think it'll take longer for my legs to recover from the exertion, even if I only did a little over half the race.

Felt fairly shitty about it yesterday morning though.  I went into shock while the team (quickly and efficiently[2]) extracted me from the car, as I realised the seriousness of what had just happened.  Then had the uncontrollable crying thing as the adrenaline wore off, followed by several hours of digestive woe[3], exhaustion and general inability to relax.  I don't think I've had that before without a painful injury to focus on.  It's a bit like how I felt after I was queerbashed on the tube as a teenager - wasn't seriously hurt, but by the time I'd got home and scrubbed myself clean several times (there was spit etc), I was on edge and useless with nothing I could do about it.  At least this time I had plenty of people looking after me (and it probably helped that I cycled home).   :thumbsup:


[1] Read: Working out how many layers of extra seat padding I'd need to be able to see and reach the pedals at the same time.
[2] They got plenty of practice rebuilding the diff mid-race last year.
[3] Which may well have been coming anyway, due to general body abuse over the preceding 18 hours.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 01 July, 2019, 02:08:33 pm
The aftermath sounds horrendous. I’m so glad you had good people on hand to look after you. Hope the aches & pains heal quickly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 July, 2019, 02:12:34 pm
Well, it's my own stupid fault and it could have killed me...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 01 July, 2019, 02:21:56 pm
Well, it's my own stupid fault and it could have killed me...

I wasn't going to say that bit......  ;)

These have the AndrewC seal of approval.  https://www.amazon.co.uk/BaByliss-Men-Super-Clipper-Hair/dp/B06WP6CXBB/   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 01 July, 2019, 02:42:38 pm
ouch Kim, you don't do thing by halves!

GWS, and be more careful next time
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 July, 2019, 02:46:10 pm
GWS, and be more careful next time

The Royce team are trying to poach me for their women's car.  If that happens, I expect some sort of freak ankle injury due to my big feet getting jammed in the fairing, instead...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 July, 2019, 05:12:14 pm
Glad your name isn't Isadora!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 01 July, 2019, 07:20:05 pm
Gws Kim  thinking of you 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 01 July, 2019, 07:45:22 pm
Eek, sounds a bit lairy! Heal well, Kim.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 July, 2019, 01:04:15 pm
GWS, and be more careful next time

The Royce team are trying to poach me for their women's car.  If that happens, I expect some sort of freak ankle injury due to my big feet getting jammed in the fairing, instead...

Hold out for MOAR money :P
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 10 July, 2019, 09:42:43 pm
Meeting friends for dinner & a concert.  I ironed my shirt & trousers then sped out of the door to meet them at 17:30.     21:00 I remembered I'd not unplugged the iron.....  :facepalm:   


Luckily it's got a cut out switch so I've not come home to a smouldering ruin. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 12 July, 2019, 10:37:52 pm
Next time I suggest I attempt plumbing by myself someone shoot me. I've been at it since 2pm and i've more problems than when I started.

I would cry but then there'd be even more water damage.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 July, 2019, 12:44:28 am
Next time I suggest I attempt plumbing by myself someone shoot me. I've been at it since 2pm and i've more problems than when I started.

I would cry but then there'd be even more water damage.

My policy on plumbing is:

a) Only if I've got all the proper tools and materials, including those for dealing with the likely cockups.
b) I can get access with a minimum of swearing and grazed knuckles, and definitely won't need the spanner that can phase through solid matter.
c) There's at least one proven isolation valve between me and certain doom.
d) It isn't likely to deteriorate into complicated woodwork or crack something expensive.
e) Don't start a job when the plumber's merchant / DIY sheds / etc are shut.
and
f) Never hesitate to defer to chivalrous menfolk when it's minging drains.


Careful application of these rules has prevented me from perpetrating acts of Plumbing on countless occasions.  Much safer to stick to electricity.  It doesn't leak all over the floor when you get it wrong (well, it can do, but only while the power's turned on).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 13 July, 2019, 12:57:04 am
The really irksome thing is the bit I was fixing appears (appears) fine. It's the shower pump pipe I elbowed when the spanner slipped that won't stop leaking. Well that and the igniter for the boiler won't so I can't relight it. But eh, we have an immersion heater and it's not like we need the heating at the moment.

And I can't get a new bit for shower pump till Sunday and my better half is back from a week away tomorrow evening (this evening? [Saturday evening!]) and would rather like a shower when she gets home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 July, 2019, 12:58:37 am
The really irksome thing is the bit I was fixing appears (appears) fine. It's the shower pump pipe I elbowed when the spanner slipped that won't stop leaking. Well that and the igniter for the boiler won't so I can't relight it.

That's just unfair, really.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 13 July, 2019, 01:14:23 am
It does feel it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 July, 2019, 08:08:18 am
Sounds like you've applied all the Bad Swears already :(
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 13 July, 2019, 09:13:48 am
I also applied far too much whisky whilst grumpy and my head may fall off. But I have a cunning plan that may get it fixed today. Maybe.

First though - tea.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 July, 2019, 02:12:54 pm
Sending plumbing fixing vibes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 13 July, 2019, 08:54:52 pm
Ive just been dragged kicking and screaming into the late teens of the 21st century. Typing this on a fondleslab nearly as big as a laptop.

It's resting on my knees and tilted up on the case in such a familiar way that I'm finding myself trying to scroll with the non-existent trackpad on the case below the screen. Really shouldn't be allowed out unsupervised...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 July, 2019, 09:50:52 pm
Trackpads are the work of :demon: and should be utterlye cryed downe.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 13 July, 2019, 10:26:26 pm
Trackpads are the work of :demon: and should be utterlye cryed downe.


After trying several varieties of meece I'm very happy with my Apple Magick Trackpad 2.  a most excellent device.    I think the one on my work issued Thinkpad is crap though.  Always use a plug in mouse for that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 13 July, 2019, 10:36:58 pm
Trackpads are the work of :demon: and should be utterlye cryed downe.


After trying several varieties of meece I'm very happy with my Apple Magick Trackpad 2.  a most excellent device.    I think the one on my work issued Thinkpad is crap though.  Always use a plug in mouse for that.
I always used a trackball with my work issued Thinkpads, (and the Dells between them) but likewise use a majik trackpad for my iMac.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 July, 2019, 11:58:24 am
The Apple Magic Trackpads are genius (either the standalone or in the Macbooks, especially the latter generations with the haptic feedback). I had a Dell in a meeting the other day, the trackpad was about as responsive as poking a corpse, except when you wanted to type something in which case, the cursor started flirting out about like someone had electrified that corpse via the national grid. It was basically like someone had sat down and listed all the downsides of a trackpad and then designed the perfect example.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 July, 2019, 01:06:27 pm
Waited in all morning for a delivery scheduled for 17/07, i.e. tomorrow. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 16 July, 2019, 11:27:21 pm
Waited in all morning for a delivery scheduled for 17/07, i.e. tomorrow. :facepalm:

At least you can go out tomorrow safe in the knowledge that when the delivery fails to arrive, you have preemptively wasted a day :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 July, 2019, 07:57:59 am
Ah well, an extra day's recovery after a hard ride is never wasted.* Anyway, I've rescheduled for tomorrow so I'm buggering off for distant climes this morning so as to provide a reason for lying around doing nothing on Thursday.

* although it's depressing that the "hard" ride in question was easy just two years ago. :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 24 July, 2019, 07:41:07 pm
Accidentally threw my Ti spork in a bin. :'( :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 28 July, 2019, 02:12:48 pm
Took a load of junk to the recycling centre in the pouring rain.   Get back home.  Wheel bike & trailer into the downstairs lobby.  The plastic box on the trailer has some water in so I unhitch it & empty it outside. 


Click , the door closes,  my keys are in the rackpack on the bike, inside the lobby.  Had to buzz all the neighbours until someone answered & let me in.  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 31 July, 2019, 11:17:05 am
Visiting sis-in-law in Brighton this week, the sea was very inviting on Monday afternoon.  Shame I forgot to take my keys out of the pocket of my swimming shorts.  Fortunately they're not in the English Channel, but the remote central locking on the car is obviously no longer working... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 04 August, 2019, 09:32:04 pm
Following on from my last entry.   When I got back into my flat I just shoved my soaking gloves into my rackback & forgot about them.  Opened the rackbag up today (hunting for gloves), they appear to have acquired a certain odour  :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 07 August, 2019, 08:46:09 pm
Accidentally threw my Ti spork in a bin. :'( :facepalm:

Disaster!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 07 August, 2019, 08:48:17 pm
Following on from my last entry.   When I got back into my flat I just shoved my soaking gloves into my rackback & forgot about them.  Opened the rackbag up today (hunting for gloves), they appear to have acquired a certain odour  :sick:

I took a pair of shoes up the Paps of Jura last week, it was so boggy that I left them on the bumper of my car for the next few days to dry out before I drove home.  12 hours of socks and shoes in my boot on Monday  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 07 August, 2019, 10:51:22 pm
Plugged USB drive in (needs external power) to do backup. Fired up rsync pointed the correct folders on the PC to the correct folders on USB drive and let it run.

Stood up to go to bed, hit the light switch, which the extension cord/lead is connected to, which powers things like the table light, printer, monitor and the USB drive ...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 09 August, 2019, 09:20:56 am
Walked out of the flat, closed the door & then realised my keys were on the kitchen table.
This is going to mean a visit to my family in the suburbs to pick up my spare set.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 09 August, 2019, 09:45:01 am
You need a chain around your neck for your keys.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 09 August, 2019, 09:22:51 pm
Refurbished kitchen 18 months ago at cost of huge.......Put hot pan on work top.......FFS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 10 August, 2019, 07:58:47 am
Refurbished kitchen 18 months ago at cost of huge.......Put hot pan on work top.......FFS.
My wife has form for this, and we have a newish kitchen now.  My plan, for that eventuality, is to get a pre-cut piece of stainless steel, say 6mm thick, and then rout out the exact size over the burnt area.  Drop the stainless plate in on a bed of silicone and it'll look like it was always intended.  Could do it with a ceramic tile or 2. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 August, 2019, 08:18:50 am
We were very careful not to do that. However, our tea-making area is traversed by a joint where the worktop takes a 90°. Splashes eventually penetrated the joint and gee, swell.  We keep one of those daft glass chopping-boards over that bit now - the feet lift it clear of the embarrassing bit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 12 August, 2019, 10:43:50 am
Wooden (solid oak) worktops keep a good record of kitchen accidents and other assorted incidents of culinary shame.

We did have them originally done with the Danish oil stuff which was a horrid colour and offered very little protection against spills. We had them sanded and redone earlier this year with a matt varnish which is a lot hardier unless the person who cleans your oven happens to drip oven cleaner on it and it gets left there for several days...

DivSpot: I have a new office chair in the Remote Command Centre which I opted not to purchase arms for, so I could scoot around more freely. In principle fine, though I attempted to lever myself up to get coffee earlier with those non-existing arms and fell flat on the floor next to my desk. At least only the cat was around to validate my wounded pride.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 24 August, 2019, 11:09:47 am
Rode my shopping 'bent into the village for minor supplies, successfully stopped and got off (an increasingly challenging task it seems - I'm sure that seat gets higher every month), then fell over the kerb outside the launderette.  Ow.  Minor scrapes but bike fine because it landed on top of me.

Feeling a bit wobbly now.

And a lady of a similar age came and asked if I was OK as I got up.  Oh, the shame.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 25 August, 2019, 12:32:10 pm
Just went to unlock the blue tourer & found I hadn't chained it up the last time I used it a week ago.   At least it proves that the landing outside my flat is rarely visited by bike thieves.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 August, 2019, 12:42:48 pm
Some months back I did a full-scale drawing of a zither I want to make on a sheet of 5mm ply, mainly to work out proportions and shapes, and possibly to use as a template. Then I reorganized the workshop and everything went on hold. This morning I went looking for my design. And looking. And looking...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 26 August, 2019, 04:42:36 pm
I have a suspicion I have posted a "forgot it is a Bank Holiday in England" story on this thread before...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 26 August, 2019, 04:50:29 pm
I have a suspicion I have posted a "forgot it is a Bank Holiday in England" story on this thread before...

If I may channel Oscar Wilde, once may be regarded as a misfortune; twice looks like carelessness.  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Salvatore on 28 August, 2019, 09:34:06 pm
30km from home on the 3rd day of the ride home from seeing my mum, I popped into a cafe in Twyford with my fully-loaded bike (front + rear panniers, tent, barbag)  in full view locked to a penny-farthing type bike stand at the crossroads.

Suitably refreshed, I unlocked my bike and made as if to leave, but the front wheel wouldn't turn. Eventually after much poking I find that the spring on the right-hand cantilever has broken, meaning that the left hand arm was pulling the right-hand brake block against the rim. I conclude that the only way to get home is to unhook the straddle-wire and ride home with only a rear bike. So that's what I did.

About 2 hours later I arrived home, and was unloading my bike when I realised that I only had one front pannier. Eventually I concluded that I must have the missing one off to get access to the brake, and completely forgotten about re-attaching it when setting off again. [How I didn't notice its absence while riding is still a mystery] So without further ado I jumped onto a different bike from my stable to retrace the 30km to Twyford in the hope that no-one had moved, stolen or taken the bag n for safe keeping. On the way I wondered if any of the public-spirited citizens of Twyford had reported a suspicious bag on the pavement at the traffic lights, and what conclusion anyone would come to if they examined the contents, the item at the top being a gas canister. I pictured the centre of Twyford condoned off and the bomb squad doing their thing just as I turned up.

Anyway, the faded Carradice was still there next to the bike stand when I arrived, so relieved I sat for a while on a bench, before repairing to the local Waitrose - in my haste I had forgotten food and water bottles (but had remembered lights and inner tubes but not a pump or a lock). On leaving the store I saw that the pannier was not on my bike - I hadn't bothered to attach it to the bike and must have left it on the bench at the crossroads (and it was still there - phew).

I got home without needing a pump and in full possession of my property if not my faculties (apparently). So it all turned out OK and I got to ride a bonus 60km.

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48638386127_09c1a33b31_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2h71rEg)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 August, 2019, 01:51:32 pm
Take heart!  On our 1100 km Strasbourg-Brest Audax-style Diagonale in 2014 I left my wee backpack sitting on a bench at 24k in and didn't realize it until 56k.  Fortunately a chum had turned out to see us off, and he phoned his brother who turned out, found it, and brought it to me by car, so we only lost an hour and no km rather than three hours and 64 km. That was probably my divvest of moments.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 August, 2019, 02:11:57 pm
@Salvatore, you definitely deserve a badge, a cup of tea, a slice of cake, a beer and a sit down, in any order you like! Impressive that you managed to ride 2 hours without feeling lopsided steering from only one front pannier.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bludger on 29 August, 2019, 02:26:07 pm
A few weeks ago I did a ride to the Downs Link, to Brighton. I popped in to Aldi to get supplies first. Just as I reached the link (after 50 km from home) I reached around for my saddlebag (on the Bagman Sport with QR) to get some food, and it wasnt there. Retrace my steps up the hill, no sign of it.

Fuck, I must have left it at Aldi (6-7 km back). So I jump back on the bike and pedal as fast as I can, clocking 60 km/h down a hill at one point. Not there either. Nothing ultra important was in it (repairs, spares and food) but obviously it's got sentimental value and wasn't cheap so was getting very annoyed. Go back to the site of the hill just in case.... And there's a cyclist holding my Barley looking for somewhere to drop it off. I offer him some fruit cake and lots of thank yous but he was having none of it.

Essentially I had filled the saddlebag with stuff but not applied the quick release to secure it. It had stayed on the Bagman all the way from Aldi owing to the weight of its contents until I got to the off roady bit of the Downs Link where it had fallen off. What a palaver, at least 15 km of added huffing and puffing because I'd made a muddle.

Great ride down to Brighton though...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 29 August, 2019, 04:57:06 pm
Today I decided go get new cartridge bearings for the fixer, as the existing ones in the rear wheel are shagged.

Being a smartarse, I rootled through my Great Tub of Fasteners (misc) as I was sure there was an old one in there that I could take with me to Bearings R Us to make sure I got the right size. Found it, stuffed it in my pocket, leapt on to the Pretty Bike and had a nice trundle of 10 miles to the bearing shop. The Nice Man sold me "four like that please" for a very reasonable sum and trundled back home.

Took the wheel off the fixer, drifted the old bearings out, offered up the new ones. Two hopes of them fitting as as you just can't get a 30mm diameter thing into a 26mm diameter hole.

Arse. Keen students will realise the old bearing I'd taken as a pattern was what we in the trade call "The Wrong Size". Still, it was a nice tie.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 September, 2019, 10:10:15 am
Hands full, tried to put out the light on the staircase by pushing my teacup against the switch. Light still on, streaks of tea down wallpaper. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 06 September, 2019, 10:13:19 am
Blot it up with tissues and squeeze into cup.  It'll be a bit cooler but still drinkable......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 September, 2019, 10:41:56 am
Sounds good, but I mopped the top step with the same bit of kitchen roll. The top step where the dogs like to lie. Damn, two dividities in a row. Any more & I can try for a doctorate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 06 September, 2019, 10:48:34 am
Ha!  Don't know about kitchen roll but you used to be able to help yourself to any number of degrees in the toilets at university!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 September, 2019, 01:02:32 pm
Maybe that's where Melania got the one she mentioned on her Einstein Visa application.

Our uni toilets had hard shiny paper stamped "Property of H.M.Government" and the holders were big stainless steel efforts branded "Dreadnought Thiefproof".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 September, 2019, 01:20:25 pm
Hands full, tried to put out the light on the staircase by pushing my teacup against the switch. Light still on, streaks of tea down wallpaper. :facepalm:

Thanks to barakta's balance and hand impairments, streaks of tea on landlord-quality magnolia is the main aesthetic of our decor.  If we owned a house, we'd probably get round to painting it with decent quality paint that you can actually wipe clean successfully.  Imagine having walls in non-poo colours!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 September, 2019, 01:30:52 pm
Ours is some kind of heavy-duty blue over fibreglass, so theoretically we could take a scrubbing-brush to it.  Didn't stop the dogs eating through it when they were pups.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 09 September, 2019, 08:35:00 am
Our uni toilets had hard shiny paper stamped "Property of H.M.Government" and the holders were big stainless steel efforts branded "Dreadnought Thiefproof".

That wasn't a university, that was my primary skool!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 September, 2019, 09:01:06 am
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 September, 2019, 09:47:37 am
Hands full, tried to put out the light on the staircase by pushing my teacup against the switch. Light still on, streaks of tea down wallpaper. :facepalm:

Thanks to barakta's balance and hand impairments, streaks of tea on landlord-quality magnolia is the main aesthetic of our decor.  If we owned a house, we'd probably get round to painting it with decent quality paint that you can actually wipe clean successfully.  Imagine having walls in non-poo colours!

One of the core pleasures of buying a house is getting out the paint.

Unfortunately, we ended up with a house that looked the colour of being inside a salmon. Vaguely vaginal, said my wife. So we had to do it all again because no one wants a living room that's a testament to gynaecological exploration. And because we were cheapos back then, we did with mega-bargain industrial white emulsion. Two hundred and sixty-four coats later it was still fucking pink.

The last two houses we've paid grown-ups to paint after several days pouring through paint books covering every barely distinguishable shade of white possible.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 09 September, 2019, 10:02:54 am
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 September, 2019, 10:13:58 am
I just remember our school toilet paper being skin to tracing paper and having the same absorbent properties. Using it was like cleaning up a Nutella spill with greaseproof paper.

I was reading an article the other week from a proper bum doctor about bottom wiping (every day is a school day on the internet), us westerners with our toilet paper ways are terrorizing our anuses, and putting ourselves at risk of anal tears. We should be gently patting and not furiously rubbing. But apparently, we should be washing properly back there and he wasn't happy that we weren't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 09 September, 2019, 10:27:35 am
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.

Izal. Yes! Scratchy sandpaper on one side, shiny-shiny on the other. About as absorbent as cling-film.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 09 September, 2019, 10:53:29 am
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.

Izal. Yes! Scratchy sandpaper on one side, shiny-shiny on the other. About as absorbent as cling-film.

There can be only one.

http://viz.co.uk/2014/11/13/badgers-arse-industrial-toilet-paper/   :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 09 September, 2019, 12:38:09 pm
Hands full, tried to put out the light on the staircase by pushing my teacup against the switch. Light still on, streaks of tea down wallpaper. :facepalm:

Thanks to barakta's balance and hand impairments, streaks of tea on landlord-quality magnolia is the main aesthetic of our decor.  If we owned a house, we'd probably get round to painting it with decent quality paint that you can actually wipe clean successfully.  Imagine having walls in non-poo colours!

One of the core pleasures of buying a house is getting out the paint.

Unfortunately, we ended up with a house that looked the colour of being inside a salmon. Vaguely vaginal, said my wife. So we had to do it all again because no one wants a living room that's a testament to gynaecological exploration. And because we were cheapos back then, we did with mega-bargain industrial white emulsion. Two hundred and sixty-four coats later it was still fucking pink.

Reminds me of the time I helped Hanananananah The Astronononononomer paint half her bedroom a pleasingly non-landlord shade of terracotta.  We did a decent job, with quality paint, but that didn't make up for the inescapable sense that a tomato had menstruated on it.  (IIRC barakta was downstairs with a fever hallucinating crocodiles, so couldn't be consulted for a colour-based third opinion.  Or at least not a useful one.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 September, 2019, 12:49:58 pm
I'm, to this day, unsure what febrile notion led us to think pale peach would be an interesting colour for walls. I guess it was an outbreak of it's-not-magnolia-woodchip and the previous owners of the house had painted everything a malarial shade of yellow which you really couldn't look at. They'd not even done a good job, it faded in and out like the colour on a failing TV. Plus they'd done as much damage to the house as possible because they were truly quite spectacularly unpleasant people.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 09 September, 2019, 01:14:29 pm
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.
I was trying to work out whether making tables and chairs would lead to enough offcuts to start a paper company.

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 September, 2019, 01:33:20 pm
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.


Definitely wasn't Izal. Newcol (https://bookhistory.blogspot.com/2008/02/collectanea-cloacopapyrologica-1.html), that was the stuff.  I think it was a failed MOD attempt at razor wire.

Ercol? "Ma! Someone's wiped his bum on your recliner."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 09 September, 2019, 01:56:13 pm
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.

Indeed. And then there was Bronco.

Both referred to by may pals Flight Engineer father as "low drag"  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 09 September, 2019, 03:44:25 pm
The public facility toilet paper I recall had the message "Now wash your hands" on the bottom of each sheet.

Now have a washlet (wash toilet), after experiencing them in Japan.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 09 September, 2019, 07:39:24 pm
Quote from: ian
One of the core pleasures of buying a house is getting out the paint.
You are a masochist.  Decorating of any variety is a tedious chore involving hours of clearing clutter and furniture out of the way with associated ricking of backs and dropping of heavy stuff on feet, laying dust sheets, sand-paper (and barked knuckles and usually blood*) and lots and lots of dust before getting anywhere near painting and then when you've finally got the umpteenth coat on and dry you've got to unwind the whole damn rigamarole to get back to "normal".

*Top tip. When pulling back fitted carpet to do skirting boards wear some of those chainmail gloves favoured by slaughtermen.  See "carpet grippers".

Quote from: ian
... every barely distinguishable shade of white possible.

Any colour MrsLurker wants as long as it is white. I have been known to agree to one of the "barely distinguishable" varieties, but TBH I couldn't see any damn difference, other than price, between it and white.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 09 September, 2019, 07:41:59 pm
Quote from: ian
One of the core pleasures of buying a house is getting out the paint.
You are a masochist.  Decorating of any variety is a tedious chore involving hours of clearing clutter and furniture out of the way with associated ricking of backs and dropping of heavy stuff on feet, laying dust sheets, sand-paper (and barked knuckles and usually blood*) and lots and lots of dust before getting anywhere near painting and then when you've finally got the umpteenth coat on and dry you've got to unwind the whole damn rigamarole to get back to "normal".

I'm going to guess that you haven't spent your whole adult life surrounded by landlord-issue magnolia.  That stuff gets to you.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 September, 2019, 07:49:03 pm
I was reading an article the other week from a proper bum doctor about bottom wiping (every day is a school day on the internet), us westerners with our toilet paper ways are terrorizing our anuses, and putting ourselves at risk of anal tears. We should be gently patting and not furiously rubbing. But apparently, we should be washing properly back there and he wasn't happy that we weren't.

I would like to read this article.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 09 September, 2019, 08:59:42 pm
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.

Ercol made chairs on which we sat for decade...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 09 September, 2019, 09:11:57 pm
Quote from: Kim
Quote from: ian
One of the core pleasures of buying a house is getting out the paint.
You are a masochist.  Decorating of any variety is a tedious chore ...

I'm going to guess that you haven't spent your whole adult life surrounded by landlord-issue magnolia.  That stuff gets to you.
A good guess. Not my whole adult life no, but I have spent more than enough time in rented (and our own) magnolia hued rooms to sympathise. I have only just finished repainting the main bedroom, which had been magnolia these 20 years, white.  Other people have "try bungee jumping" and "become an astronaut" on their bucket lists, mine had, "Get rid of the sodding magnolia."  :)

Still doesn't alter the fact that decorating is a tedious chore though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 10 September, 2019, 07:50:21 am
Decorating of any variety is a tedious chore involving hours of clearing clutter and furniture out of the way with associated ricking of backs and dropping of heavy stuff on feet, laying dust sheets, sand-paper (and barked knuckles and usually blood*) and lots and lots of dust before getting anywhere near painting and then when you've finally got the umpteenth coat on and dry you've got to unwind the whole damn rigamarole to get back to "normal".

Thanks a bunch TL.  I've been reluctantly contemplating this winter's decorating. I can't put up with the wear and tear on our kitchen and the main bedroom for another year.  It has to be done.  But shifting that monstrously heavy Vi_spring mattress could be the death of me.

You've neatly summarised all the things I hate about decorating.  And I can't cut corners because then I've got to stare at it for a few years regretting not going around with the sandpaper one more time.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 September, 2019, 08:09:27 am
I've always detested decorating too.  Once I even got so utterly pissed off that I bailed out halfway through painting a bathroom doorpost, leaving the top bit blue and the bottom half grey. It stayed that way for years.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Poacher on 10 September, 2019, 09:02:35 am
My pink half of the drainpipe
I may paint it blue.

Bonzos
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 10 September, 2019, 09:35:16 am
I hate decorating so much we did it precisely once. After spurning the magnolia wood-chip, it's a homeownership right of passage. After about three weeks where we managed to cover every surface, ourselves included, with cheap B&Q emulsion (eventually we gave up, about 80 coats too late and ponied up the cash for the one-coat stuff that actually made our house look less like a scene from Fantastic Voyage in only two further coats). Painting Artex ceilings? It's like a white out blizzard of emulsion. Don't get me going on woodwork, we did one perfect door, which took about a week and wasn't, in retrospect, very perfect. After that, we figured getting the pain near the door was good enough. The weeks spent cleaning brushes and rollers then giving up and going to the shop to buy new ones. There was never, ever quite enough paint to finish a room. It would always run out with half a wall to complete. The next tub would be a slightly different shade, forcing you to repaint the wall, run out of paint and repeat. There was precisely one Saturday evening when we had fun, that was day 1, look at us, we're painting our own house. Our own house! There was drinking involved. The next day we had to redo everything. I suspect the current owners may wonder at the message CLARE IS A MONKEY in block letters still faintly visible in the right light along the hallway wall.

Not to mention the horrible wooden paneling they'd put along the bottom half of the wall. Off that comes! Along with the underlying plaster. We glued it back on and simply applied yet more paint.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 10 September, 2019, 07:33:58 pm
^This.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 September, 2019, 08:23:10 am
I have discovered a new way to decorate.

MrsC and I lived in our York house for erm, years and never did any decorating. The boiler was replaced, leaving a hole in the wall which wasn't patched.

Smallest MsC has moved in with her husband. Two weeks. boiler boxed in, wall replastered. Upstairs room repainted. This was done in the first week.

I'm now telephoning in jobs for her to do as I remember them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 September, 2019, 08:54:34 am
Now here's a thing: Artex (the finish, not the beta-blocker) was made using asbestos right up until Y2K (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artex#Health_risks), after which it "may or may not" contain the stuff.  Doing a ceiling with it is probably safer if you don't breathe.

Our interior walls are finished in what's called crépi in France: I suspect that Artex is simply an instance of the crépi class. The bloody stuff gets really bloody if you rub up against it - it's like a cheese-grater.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 September, 2019, 09:26:28 am
One thing I found out when we bought the Asbestos Palace is that asbestos is in everything made between the 1930s and the late 80s, including the ubiquitous ceiling covering. Cornflakes were probably asbestos-based for a while. There's actually no guarantee that the replacement fibrous fire-retardant materials are that much safer (this is an often overlooked problem, we replace things with known risks with things with unknown risks*), but manufacturing and handling have vastly improved through the dreaded health and safety and its insistence on saving lives.

*not an argument that we should have stopped using asbestos decades before we did, the dangers were long known, just a general principle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 11 September, 2019, 10:19:35 am
Posting on behalf of my husband.

Our TV "box" stopped working. No channels, nothing. Mr fimm re-tuned several times, turned it off and back on again, nothing.
He works from home. Yesterday I got a text.
"I've solved the TV problem. I'd switched the aerial off by mistake..."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 September, 2019, 11:01:32 am
One thing I found out when we bought the Asbestos Palace is that asbestos is in everything made between the 1930s and the late 80s, including the ubiquitous ceiling covering. Cornflakes were probably asbestos-based for a while. There's actually no guarantee that the replacement fibrous fire-retardant materials are that much safer (this is an often overlooked problem, we replace things with known risks with things with unknown risks*), but manufacturing and handling have vastly improved through the dreaded health and safety and its insistence on saving lives.

*not an argument that we should have stopped using asbestos decades before we did, the dangers were long known, just a general principle.

I suspect that while this house might have had a deal of asbestos added to it, the original building materials probably included a measure of dung.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 12 September, 2019, 10:25:22 am
My punishment for laughing at my husband in public...

Boss: We'd like to do <thing> in <month> - do you have any leave booked?
Me: Yes I have a couple of days off for my wedding anniversary. Errr... let me think about when that is.
<I look at the calendar. I remain confused.>
Me to boss: I'll get back to you.

The really embarrassing thing is, my birthday is on the 21st of a month, my husband's birthday is on the 21st of a month and our wedding anniversary is on the 21st of a month, so I have no excuse for not knowing when my wedding anniversary is!

(I also managed to buy a birthday card for my father while thinking about buying a card for my mother. Fortunately it is a nice landscape which I'm sure he'll like too.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 12 September, 2019, 10:40:24 am
One thing I found out when we bought the Asbestos Palace is that asbestos is in everything made between the 1930s and the late 80s, including the ubiquitous ceiling covering. Cornflakes were probably asbestos-based for a while. There's actually no guarantee that the replacement fibrous fire-retardant materials are that much safer (this is an often overlooked problem, we replace things with known risks with things with unknown risks*), but manufacturing and handling have vastly improved through the dreaded health and safety and its insistence on saving lives.

*not an argument that we should have stopped using asbestos decades before we did, the dangers were long known, just a general principle.

I suspect that while this house might have had a deal of asbestos added to it, the original building materials probably included a measure of dung.

Which has it's own inhalation hazards to be proud of.  Brucellosis, anthrax, name your pick.

As for decorating, I'm involved at the "consulting phase" where we eventually decide on which precise shade of not-quite-dove-grey or Terry-Wogan-Cardigan we'll use this year.  I DON'T do actual decorating
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 12 September, 2019, 12:51:57 pm
My punishment for laughing at my husband in public...

Boss: We'd like to do <thing> in <month> - do you have any leave booked?
Me: Yes I have a couple of days off for my wedding anniversary. Errr... let me think about when that is.
<I look at the calendar. I remain confused.>
Me to boss: I'll get back to you.

The really embarrassing thing is, my birthday is on the 21st of a month, my husband's birthday is on the 21st of a month and our wedding anniversary is on the 21st of a month, so I have no excuse for not knowing when my wedding anniversary is!

(I also managed to buy a birthday card for my father while thinking about buying a card for my mother. Fortunately it is a nice landscape which I'm sure he'll like too.)

Ah, yes.  I once forgot my fathers birthday. It was the day before mine. My wedding anniversary I remember as being the day before stepsons. This I remember because of the rain soaked barbecue the day after our wedding!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 12 September, 2019, 01:37:38 pm
I know the date of my wedding anniversary, and I remember the event, but I couldn't possibly tell you what year it happened (some time between 2000 and 2006 is my best guess).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 12 September, 2019, 01:56:05 pm
My punishment for laughing at my husband in public...

Boss: We'd like to do <thing> in <month> - do you have any leave booked?
Me: Yes I have a couple of days off for my wedding anniversary. Errr... let me think about when that is.
<I look at the calendar. I remain confused.>
Me to boss: I'll get back to you.

The really embarrassing thing is, my birthday is on the 21st of a month, my husband's birthday is on the 21st of a month and our wedding anniversary is on the 21st of a month, so I have no excuse for not knowing when my wedding anniversary is!

(I also managed to buy a birthday card for my father while thinking about buying a card for my mother. Fortunately it is a nice landscape which I'm sure he'll like too.)

My recommendation. An anniversary gift of a custom commissioned plate from someone like Josie Firmin http://www.cosmochina.co.uk/ , with the date of your wedding around the edge. This then forms an extraordinarily useful reference point for the chronologically challenged.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 12 September, 2019, 02:17:26 pm
I confess I had to open Photos and look at the date on our wedding snaps (2005, eek!) to work it out. Metadata to the rescue.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 September, 2019, 02:24:23 pm
As for decorating, I'm involved at the "consulting phase" where we eventually decide on which precise shade of not-quite-dove-grey or Terry-Wogan-Cardigan we'll use this year.  I DON'T do actual decorating

I'm fixing up our hall wall where the dogs ate it in their infancy. They're almost 10 now: I'm that keen.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 September, 2019, 06:09:27 pm
I confess I had to open Photos and look at the date on our wedding snaps (2005, eek!) to work it out. Metadata to the rescue.

Or even actual data; I've been known to check the calendar event for the civilisation itself.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 12 September, 2019, 08:21:24 pm
I got to work and realised I had no trousers this morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 12 September, 2019, 10:46:42 pm
BTDTGTTS (but not the trousers).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 September, 2019, 10:54:32 pm
Slightly better than going to York without your trousers.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 September, 2019, 08:35:57 am
Slightly better than going to York without your trousers.

https://youtu.be/InGkUbuUspQ
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 13 September, 2019, 08:54:03 am
whole new thread opportunity "where's the best place to have forgotten your trousers"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 20 September, 2019, 07:28:11 pm
I managed to arrange to bunk off the last day of this training in NL, so Wednesday I looked for an alternative to my flight back @ 20:00 from Schipol. BA appeared to be upwards of £200, but I'm CLEVER, I am, so I went onto Kayak. Look! a flight at 14:00 for £40! I'll have some of that. This morning, I wondered why I was not being offered on line check in. Closer examination showed that this flight was in... October.  :-[ :-[ ::-)

Subsequently managed to get a RTM-LCY for the £60 change fee, and got myself there in time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 20 September, 2019, 08:59:39 pm
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.
I once saved the Ercol factory from burning down (probably/ possibly). I was on bike patrol on the opposite side of the valley from the factory. I saw a thin stream of smoke arising from the vicinity. Thin streams of smoke tended to suggest bonfores or some oik related nefarious activity so I thought I would investigate.

Once I got to the other side of the valley, I found that the smoke was issuing from within the factory grounds so I managed to through the gates and found that in the delivery area in the middle of the compund was a cardboard waste ompactor/ baler. There was a fore within the baler. I called the fire brigade and got the keyholder notified. The owner turned up just after the fire brigade and was very thankful. This was in the late 90's.

I retired in June 2014. About 18 months after I retired I recieve a letter from TVP. It was a copy of a letter from the owner. He was going through his desk and found a note to himself to write to my chief constable to say thanks. The note got trapped in the desk.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 September, 2019, 01:27:48 pm
On Thursday I did Gardening.  Which is to say I attacked the latest batch of triffid growth with a hedge trimmer, strimmer and glyphosate.  In addition to the usual snot and weak hands, I got a free bonus allergic welt on my upper thigh (not sure how, but presumably either a bitey beastie or piece of flying Green Stuff made it through my jeans).

Anyway, in an attempt to make this go away as quickly as possible before the weekend, I slathered it in hydrocortisone, and then stuck a dressing over it so it wouldn't get rubbed off by my trousers.

I now have a big circular welt, stellated by four rectangular ones where I've had an allergic reaction to the adhesive.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 September, 2019, 01:33:29 pm
Bonus points for making me look up stellated. Kim is always educational.    :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 23 September, 2019, 01:46:12 pm
You'll be wanting one of these, next https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfz1YrpMbBg
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 September, 2019, 01:47:04 pm
You'll be wanting one of these, next https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfz1YrpMbBg

Fairly sure that would be safer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Andrij on 23 September, 2019, 02:20:44 pm
You'll be wanting one of these, next https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfz1YrpMbBg

What could possibly go wrong  this method?  https://youtu.be/07rtBip9ixk
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bludger on 23 September, 2019, 03:38:34 pm
I am a **fucking** idiot.

For a while now I have been using a feature in gmail called 'alias', to make my email address a bit shorter and more professional.

What I didn't realise is that mail sent to this alias address hasn't been automatically directed to my inbox, so I've been receiving replies to an email all year which I haven't read. This has concerned all kinds of things from research to audax to whatever else.

I'm so angry and disappointed with myself for not checking things were working as I understood. Unbelievable. Literally just opened my 'missing' inbox and there's 70 email threads of correspondence from people who have just assumed I've ignored or missed them. **Some** emails were coming to the 'right' address but so much has gone right under my radar..... FFS.  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 September, 2019, 04:01:03 pm
That's still better than giving out someone else's email address thinking it's your own, which - if the contents of my gmail inbox are anything to go by - is a surprisingly popular option.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 September, 2019, 04:21:54 pm
I only measured once. :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 27 September, 2019, 05:25:45 pm
I only measured once. :(
:(. Hope it wasn’t a nice piece of wood.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 27 September, 2019, 11:32:05 pm
Is making everything smaller an option?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 September, 2019, 07:42:16 am
Nice piece of planed oak, and furthermore it's one of the shortest members of the construction so I can't repurpose it.  Scaling the whole thing down is an option, but I've already done that once to recover from the zero-adjust on my chop saw being off by a degree.

Fortunately I bought more wood than I needed, but to recover I'm going to have to rip 4 cm off a 2-metre board to get the right width.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 28 September, 2019, 08:48:16 am
Had to drive to Cardiff airport and back at 3.30am this morning.  Didn't occur to me to ask Mrs B,  when she got home from work yesterday, how much fuel was in the car.  At that time of the morning I'm not very bright, so I only realised the tank was nearly empty as we joined the M4.
Had to buy £20 worth of motorway price fuel.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 September, 2019, 09:08:20 am
What, a whole litre?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bludger on 28 September, 2019, 09:35:04 am
Took a wrong turning while at work yesterday (cycle delivery) and decided to backtrack on the pavement for a few yards as the clients address would be on that side of the road. Not soever but it was late at night and the streets were empty.

Anyway, went over a massive root in the pavement and went AOT other the bars. Fortunately was wearing long sleeves and bib tights plus mitts and a h****t so worst off I got was a sore thumb and minor scraping on elbow and right knee. My glasses were snapped but managed to fix them this morning. Lesson learned...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 28 September, 2019, 10:52:07 am
Took a wrong turning while at work yesterday (cycle delivery) and decided to backtrack on the pavement for a few yards as the clients address would be on that side of the road. Not soever but it was late at night and the streets were empty.

Anyway, went over a massive root in the pavement and went AOT other the bars. Fortunately was wearing long sleeves and bib tights plus mitts and a h****t so worst off I got was a sore thumb and minor scraping on elbow and right knee. My glasses were snapped but managed to fix them this morning. Lesson learned...
Shall I ask the traditional question?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 28 September, 2019, 04:48:16 pm
I am now virtually back to normal after my coming off from a non-lowered and unmakes curb in July.  I have taken photographs, etc and the letter will go to the legal director at the council after my check X-ray on Tuesday.  3 weeks to reply and then I fill out the small claims court forms.

I found the range of awards on various websites and figured what I thought it was worth, added in the cancelled holiday costs and came up with a figure.

We will see what happens.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 September, 2019, 08:44:19 pm
Taxc TTS software, why won't you see all my deviced to allow me to hurt myself on the turbo trainer? Let me turn you off and on again, and again.

Oh! That's why!

Plugs in ANT+ dongle  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 29 September, 2019, 06:29:46 pm
As mentioed in the fettling thread, today I have been poking my multimeter into an electric shower. Mains voltage, water. What could possibly go wrong?

Anyhoo, all isolated (switch and MCB). Get multimeter out. Twist knob to continuity. Display reads 0.00 before I bring the probes together. Arse. Is it broken? Try a few more resistance settings, same result. More arse.

Take closer look at the selector knob. The selector knob with a groove in one end of the whatsit. The groove that is pointing 180 degrees away from the continuity setting.

Twist it round and all is well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 September, 2019, 07:33:56 pm
As mentioed in the fettling thread, today I have been poking my multimeter into an electric shower. Mains voltage, water. What could possibly go wrong?

Judging by a friend's recent saga:

- Electric shock from shower.
- User error resulting in further electric shocks from shower, rather than extracting oneself - suds and all - from the bath until safe isolation had been practised.
- Well-charred[1] isolator switch b0rked in the 'on' position.
- Under-rated cable supplying shower...
- ...from a 40A MCB on the non-RCD side[2] of the consumer unit...  :o
- ...with a twist-and-insulating-tape splice hidden in a length of conduit  >:(

I provided Advice, to the effect that a qualified sparky came and swore extensively at all this the following morning, before proceeding to sort it out properly.


Somewhere in the bit bucket, there's a video of a Finnish stand-up comedian explaining all that is wrong about BRITISH bathrooms.  The relevant comments being "Is this thing connected to mains current?  But I'm in the shower‽" and "In Finland we don't have all this information technology.  We use a fucking Y-shaped pipe."  It's those little cultural differences.


[1] Which is extra-suspicious, because I fitted that isolator a few years ago and was particularly careful to do all the terminals up Bastard Tight to prevent this sort of thing.  I hadn't expected the wire itself to overheat...   :facepalm:
[2] Immersion heater on the non-RCD side TAAW.  Googling suggests arguments in favour of this practice amounting to "it's really inconvenient to wake up to cold water when your dodgy immersion heater trips the mains", and my argument against being "it's even more inconvenient when you're electrocuted by live plumbing ffs you prat".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 29 September, 2019, 07:35:53 pm
As mentioed in the fettling thread, today I have been poking my multimeter into an electric shower. Mains voltage, water. What could possibly go wrong?

Judging by a friend's recent saga:

- Electric shock from shower.
- User error resulting in further electric shocks from shower, rather than extracting oneself - suds and all - from the bath until safe isolation had been practised.
- Well-charred[1] isolator switch b0rked in the 'on' position.
- Under-rated cable supplying shower...
- ...from a 40A MCB on the non-RCD side[2] of the consumer unit...  :o
- ...with a twist-and-insulating-tape splice hidden in a length of conduit  >:(

I provided Advice, to the effect that a qualified sparky came and swore extensively at all this the following morning, before proceeding to sort it out properly.


Somewhere in the bit bucket, there's a video of a Finnish stand-up comedian explaining all that is wrong about BRITISH bathrooms.  The relevant comments being "Is this thing connected to mains current?  But I'm in the shower‽" and "In Finland we don't have all this information technology.  We use a fucking Y-shaped pipe."  It's those little cultural differences.


[1] Which is extra-suspicious, because I fitted that isolator a few years ago and was particularly careful to do all the terminals up Bastard Tight to prevent this sort of thing.  I hadn't expected the wire itself to overheat...   :facepalm:
[2] Immersion heater on the non-RCD side TAAW.  Googling suggests arguments in favour of this practice amounting to "it's really inconvenient to wake up to cold water when your dodgy immersion heater trips the mains", and my argument against being "it's even more inconvenient when you're electrocuted by live plumbing ffs".


Someone needs to show him a suicide shower head
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 September, 2019, 07:39:24 pm
Those things give me the creeps.  Because you can guarantee whoever installs them subscribes to this (https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2sxuux/fuse_replacement_guide/) school of circuit protection.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 29 September, 2019, 08:42:40 pm
Badly wired electrics and water?   

Some years ago, I found myself having to occupy a flat in South Sinai, and not in the fleshpots of Sharm either.  We were in a small town for 3 months for a project.  No hotels.  The previous occupant had presumably cooked on an open fire in the kitchen, to judge by the smoke-blackened kitchen walls.  There was no direct evidence of goat-keeping but it would not have surprised me.

Anyway, fortunately, before taking a shower on the first evening (having spent all day scrubbing the flat) I tested the warmth of the shower water with my hand before committing my full body to the wetness.  Good job I did.  The water was live.  The muscle relex disconnected me from the 240V supply.

I still have a badly scarred right forearm from when the Chinese jug-kettle welded itself to the base.  When I picked it up on boiling, the base came with it, the cable pulled tight and boiling water went over my arm...... I could not drop the kettle as I had sandals on and that would have compounded the situation.  The several seconds it took me to get the kettle back down on the worktop and my jumper off doubtlessly compound the burn.  Next morning I had what looked like a plastic bag of fluid attached to my forearm.  Which necessitated a couple of nights in the local military hospital - fortunately one of my local team was ex-Egyptian army, and pulled a few strings.  Otherwise it was an 8 hour fairly deadly drive back to Cairo (as proven for one of the client's team, poor soul, going home for a weekend off).

I could go on about subsequently being given antibiotics diluted with the water from the toilet cistern in the local pharmacy, but I won't, because no-one will believe me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Si S on 30 September, 2019, 10:10:17 am
Mrs S: Have you seen the DVD with the wedding photo's on it?
Me: No, what's it look like?
Mrs S: It's a DVD in a white case with gold writing that was with all those other loose DVD's and CD's you tidied up

My idea of tidying up generally involves black bags   :-[

On the plus side I now know what to get her for our anniversary.

How ruddy much?  :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 September, 2019, 05:09:05 pm
I could go on about subsequently being given antibiotics diluted with the water from the toilet cistern in the local pharmacy, but I won't, because no-one will believe me.
Oh yes we will! (Destroy medical packaging after use!)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 01 October, 2019, 08:11:59 am
Not really the correct thread, but fans of Big Clive may have missed this one.  The action starts at 16:20.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBg4ximDrsk

Bet Kim's bookmarked it already.   ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 October, 2019, 11:44:18 am
Important lesson in not meddling with pyrophoric substances unless you've got your Explosion Containment Pie Dish on standby, that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 05 October, 2019, 10:02:10 pm
Been finding some aches in the "glutes" on my rides lately, attributed it to a different pedalling action, or even a mild sciatica.
This afternoon realised that the new (recumbent) seat hadn't been re-tensioned for several weeks, and was letting me sit down enough to contact the trike metalwork.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 October, 2019, 01:31:15 pm
Forgot that the depth stop on my old Bosch router suffers from creep, so I now have a rebate that starts at 5 mm and ends up at 10.  Fortunately it'll be hidden by beading.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 16 October, 2019, 03:57:57 pm
For over a year my TV has been outputting sound in stereo.  I thought is a limitation of hdmi audio return.  Today I noticed all I needed to do was tell the TV to output in Dolby Digital. Now multi-channel sources are output multi-channel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 02 November, 2019, 09:06:59 am
I am become old.

Looking at the MOT* cert. for the recently acquired cranky old grid late (i.e. after 9pm) last night and was convinced it had expired in June.   Cue half an hour's fretting and angst about trying to sort out an MOT today.  About quarter to ten there was a slow moment of realisation and then the following short conversation....

Me "Umm, what year is it?"
MrsLurker, "Year!? 2019, why?"
Me "Ermm. Oh, no reason.  Just wondering."

Yup.  The expiry date on the cert. is June next year.  Keriist.  I'm used to only knowing the date +/- a day or two, but to be out by a whole flaming year?


*I know, I know it hasn't been the Ministry of Transport for decades and IIRC it hasn't been an MOT cert. since about 1975(ish) but ICBA to look up the details. A project for the interested reader.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 03 November, 2019, 05:31:04 pm
If you are estimating feather edge, if you choose to have 25mm overlap, that doesn't leave you with 125mm coverage on a 150mm board. Discovering this after cladding 2 walls does not provide the opportunity to successfully change the overlap to 12mm.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 03 November, 2019, 07:51:09 pm
Wondered why the house doesn't feel as warm as it did last winter.

Suddenly twigged that, after changing ISP supplier, I installed the new router in the hall.....
just below the thermostat  :facepalm:

Rather than relocate it, just tweaked the temperature setting up a bit to compensate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 22 November, 2019, 09:45:07 am
Panic when my computer refused to work this morning. Much fiddling with cables, unplugging things and plugging them back in again.

Nothing.

It finally dawned on me the thing might start working if I pressed the button on the front to let the voles in  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 November, 2019, 05:03:11 pm
Me: Aargh, 8 a.m. deadline, why did I agree to that? I'm going to be working all night! Tap tap tap...
Son: Something something something.
Me: Be quiet! Not now! Go away! Lots of work to do! Grrr!
<tap tap tap>
<check emails... > Ah, yes, it's an 8 a.m. deadline... but it's 8 a.m. Friday. Relax!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 27 November, 2019, 08:39:33 pm
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 28 November, 2019, 08:22:58 am
My son's off school today and I'm working from home so I didn't need to get up early to take him to the bus/me to the station.

Did I cancel the early morning alarm clock?

You can guess
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 28 November, 2019, 09:50:16 am
I have no words.


I noticed as I was stepping out of the vehicle to head into a work do. I decided against attending, on the basis that this is not the footwear of someone competent to look after your spending.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191128/5e612d699faba25569b0d0404c542dc4.jpg)

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 28 November, 2019, 10:01:04 am
what's wrong with that ??!? it's footware and your feet are warm and dry.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 November, 2019, 10:06:24 am
as long as one wasn't higher than the other and you kept walking in circles, I don't see the issue
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 November, 2019, 10:17:36 am
A friend of mine managed to wear two shoes that looked the same. What's the problem, you may ask, that's surely the definition of a pair of shoes?

They, however, had different height heels. One was an inch higher than the other so she spent the day listing heavily to starboard.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 28 November, 2019, 11:35:17 am
One of the guys I used to work with got to midday once before someone pointed out he had his shoes on the wrong feet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 28 November, 2019, 11:38:46 am
We had a guest in one of our chalets in the Swiss Alps who came back one day a bit earlier than normal complaining that his feet were hurting. Ski boots on the wrong feet for about six hours ??  Bloody hell.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 November, 2019, 11:43:23 am
I read somewhere that shoes were ambipedal, so to speak, until the mid nineteenth century. I'm not at all sure I believe it though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 28 November, 2019, 11:47:15 am
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations

"The Client has done the worst part of Fuck All. I recommend they pull their collective thumbs out of their collective arses and sort it eh fuck out."

That should do it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 28 November, 2019, 11:49:44 am
I read somewhere that shoes were ambipedal, so to speak, until the mid nineteenth century. I'm not at all sure I believe it though.
It is true, at least for some shoes at some periods of history.
I have a pair for re-enacting. Once you’ve worn them for a bit they do become handed (or footed) but it is still possible to get confused. Hence sayings about putting your shoes on the wrong feet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 November, 2019, 12:21:18 pm
What periods and what sorts of shoes? For something like wellies it barely matters even nowadays.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 November, 2019, 12:51:17 pm
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations

"The Client has done the worst part of Fuck All. I recommend they pull their collective thumbs out of their collective arses and sort it eh fuck out."

That should do it?

If I'm stuck on deliverables for a project, I simply do a bubble plot and put that in a report. You can put three random variables in the same space and it's inestimably popular because everyone hates graphs but likes bubbles. It explains with some precision what happens when you have this, that, and the other. Sometimes I'll tell them it's based on data produced by AI. They like that even more. Those bubbles are the best bubbles of all.

If I really want to go to town I do node plot thing. But that's for special occasions and costs more because it tells the client that some stuff connects to other stuff more than it does to other stuff.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 November, 2019, 01:00:43 pm
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations

Back when MrsT was translating, Friday afternoon syndrome was common: a twat would realize at 4 pm that his report had to be translated for his 9 am Monday departure to Foreign, so she'd get "can you do it over the weekend?" closely followed by "at your usual rate, of course", and you can bet your Sunday bollocks the agency charged over the odds.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 November, 2019, 05:07:54 pm
Last weekend I set out to skincoat my kayak (it is kevlar and was the kevlar was exposed in some places).

Carefully cleaned it with acetone.

Got kitchen scales out. Decided to mix up 200ml or so of resin. Poured 200gm of resin into one cup. Carefully weighed the hardener. mixed them very thoroughly, then spent 30min painting them on the waterline part of the kayak.

Seemed to be taking a long time to go off.

Cold horrible dread came over me. I'd carefully weighed out enough hardener for 100gm of resin, not 200gm . . .

Been waiting all week to see if it will go off. The bit in the mixing cup, in the warmth, went glass hard overnight. 5 days later, the part on the hull has gone off, but because it took so long, it has run, leaving bloody great runs down the side of the boat. I have a long hard job ahead of me scraping those off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 November, 2019, 05:14:25 pm
At least this wasn't an expanding foam story... (http://www.diyfaq.org.uk/humour.html#foam)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Torslanda on 07 December, 2019, 10:45:55 pm
Crying with laughter...  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 December, 2019, 08:56:44 am
Reminiscent of that Gus Pong/dogs in elk story from 'way back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 09 December, 2019, 06:17:28 am
At least this wasn't an expanding foam story... (http://www.diyfaq.org.uk/humour.html#foam)

My wife and I were just creasing ourselves reading this.  Thank you.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Riggers on 09 December, 2019, 09:21:22 am
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations

"The Client has done the worst part of Fuck All. I recommend they pull their collective thumbs out of their collective arses and sort it eh fuck out."

That should do it?

If I'm stuck on deliverables for a project, I simply do a bubble plot and put that in a report. You can put three random variables in the same space and it's inestimably popular because everyone hates graphs but likes bubbles. It explains with some precision what happens when you have this, that, and the other. Sometimes I'll tell them it's based on data produced by AI. They like that even more. Those bubbles are the best bubbles of all.

If I really want to go to town I do node plot thing. But that's for special occasions and costs more because it tells the client that some stuff connects to other stuff more than it does to other stuff.

It must also be pleasing for you, knowing there're idiots like me who, having just read wot you sed above, are staring at it slack-jawed, thinking: "WTF is he going on about!??"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 December, 2019, 04:44:53 pm
Node plot stuff is cool, all you need to know
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 December, 2019, 07:37:52 pm
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations

"The Client has done the worst part of Fuck All. I recommend they pull their collective thumbs out of their collective arses and sort it eh fuck out."

That should do it?

If I'm stuck on deliverables for a project, I simply do a bubble plot and put that in a report. You can put three random variables in the same space and it's inestimably popular because everyone hates graphs but likes bubbles. It explains with some precision what happens when you have this, that, and the other. Sometimes I'll tell them it's based on data produced by AI. They like that even more. Those bubbles are the best bubbles of all.

If I really want to go to town I do node plot thing. But that's for special occasions and costs more because it tells the client that some stuff connects to other stuff more than it does to other stuff.

It must also be pleasing for you, knowing there're idiots like me who, having just read wot you sed above, are staring at it slack-jawed, thinking: "WTF is he going on about!??"

And thusly, my work is done.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Riggers on 10 December, 2019, 11:49:39 am
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations

"The Client has done the worst part of Fuck All. I recommend they pull their collective thumbs out of their collective arses and sort it eh fuck out."

That should do it?

If I'm stuck on deliverables for a project, I simply do a bubble plot and put that in a report. You can put three random variables in the same space and it's inestimably popular because everyone hates graphs but likes bubbles. It explains with some precision what happens when you have this, that, and the other. Sometimes I'll tell them it's based on data produced by AI. They like that even more. Those bubbles are the best bubbles of all.

If I really want to go to town I do node plot thing. But that's for special occasions and costs more because it tells the client that some stuff connects to other stuff more than it does to other stuff.

It must also be pleasing for you, knowing there're idiots like me who, having just read wot you sed above, are staring at it slack-jawed, thinking: "WTF is he going on about!??"

And thusly, my work is done.

 :thumbs:At least with Rolf Harris's daubings, we had a fair chance of guessing what it was. You've blown my mind man!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 December, 2019, 01:50:36 pm
Two big deadlines this week, one of which was expected. The other is a client that provided insufficient information ten weeks ago, a bit more last week and now suddenly wants their report with urgency. I've spent the last two days trying to work out how to turn "they've done fuck all" into recommendations

"The Client has done the worst part of Fuck All. I recommend they pull their collective thumbs out of their collective arses and sort it eh fuck out."

That should do it?

If I'm stuck on deliverables for a project, I simply do a bubble plot and put that in a report. You can put three random variables in the same space and it's inestimably popular because everyone hates graphs but likes bubbles. It explains with some precision what happens when you have this, that, and the other. Sometimes I'll tell them it's based on data produced by AI. They like that even more. Those bubbles are the best bubbles of all.

If I really want to go to town I do node plot thing. But that's for special occasions and costs more because it tells the client that some stuff connects to other stuff more than it does to other stuff.

It must also be pleasing for you, knowing there're idiots like me who, having just read wot you sed above, are staring at it slack-jawed, thinking: "WTF is he going on about!??"

And thusly, my work is done.

 :thumbs:At least with Rolf Harris's daubings, we had a fair chance of guessing what it was. You've blown my mind man!

I thought a bubble plot was a form in insider trading. Which it might still be, of course.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 December, 2019, 01:43:59 pm
I though a "bubble plot" was what the Colonels carried out when they overthrew the Greek government until I discovered yacf.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 December, 2019, 08:50:34 am
A word to the wise: do not stop or disable Gboard on your Google marketing pseudopodium Android phone.

I did eventually get the keyboard working again and back to normal.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 December, 2019, 12:38:28 pm
just spent 10 minutes cursing my work laptop which wouldn't accept my password, then panicking about the email that told me my password was about to expire which I'd ignored as phising.

Then it dawned.

I was trying to open my old laptop which has an old password, not the new one.

When I saw new I've had it 2 months now :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 22 December, 2019, 03:13:22 pm
Out on the bike today for the first time in ages.

Put  bar bag on, but fail to engage the R&K clicky thing properly.  Bag ejects itself as I whizz down the hill, narrowly avoids getting run over by me.

The resulting speed wobble, presumably caused by a  mixture of panicky heaving on the bars to avoid running over the bag and the sudden change in the balance of the  bike, was a whole lot more interesting than I bargained for.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 December, 2019, 03:14:48 pm
Oof! Well done for avoiding the bag, and for the bag avoiding your wheel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 December, 2019, 04:36:58 pm
Narsty!  Glad you survived.

Meanwhile, hands washed and generally cleaned up after the most mammoth bike clean I ever undertook, I just remembered that I haven't done the derailleurs yet. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 January, 2020, 10:46:54 am
A long time without any divvery being reported.  I can sort that out

Changing the rear derailleur on the road bike yesterday, and struggling with the 105 front shifter as usual.  So long since I last did anything with it, I was having trouble with finding cable ports etc. 

Let's take the bar tape off, I say to myself, it'll surely make it easier to see, it's a bit untidy anyway and I have some spare in a drawer.
Then I read the instructions. 
Oh! I forgot I have to take that plate off to get the cable out, and the cable goes in through there. Hmm, could have done that without taking the bar tape off after all.

Now where's that spare bar tape?

Of course, I'll buy a roll of bar tape, which will miraculously make the spare reappear again, until I next want to find it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 06 January, 2020, 10:32:21 am
Changing mobile phone operator, so obtained a new SIM card. Yesterday I had opened the SIM tray on my phone to check it.

Today I went to insert the new SIM. Spent about 15 minutes trying to open the tray again without success, the hole for the removal tool (paper clip) seemed to have shrunk and got blocked somehow.

Finally it dawned on me - I was trying to access it through the transparent phone case  :facepalm:

Think I should cancel my birthday next week.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 January, 2020, 01:17:59 pm
Foreshadowed in the fettling it were: last week I went out and bought a couple of fluorescents to replace a couple of dodgy ones in the workshop, one of which only lit up with reluctance and the other not at all.  Naturally I dumped the old tubes in the box provided, then went home, fitted the new ones and observed that they didn't light up any better.  This morning I had a hoke in the bits box and found a card with a couple of starters on it (priced in francs), fitted them and everything works perfectly.

In sum, I ended up dumping two tubes that might still have been OK, spending money on new ones and finally getting the new ones to work properly using kit I already had. Move over, Dave, there's room on the dafty step for two.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 January, 2020, 02:45:43 pm
"We need to go to Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles" quoth Lt. Col. Larrington (retd) when I dropped by on Thursday.

"No need for you to stir from the fireside, boss" said I, "just give me the list and your debit card and I will do the necessary".  This done, I bung them in my wallet and drive the five miles to ye shoppe.  And discover my wallet is still on the table in the conservatory at Fort Larrington.  Bah.

And then it took me about twenty minutes to find the sugar.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 08 January, 2020, 11:03:19 pm
So, the changing room we are dismantling at the shop has a curtain rail that needs removing. The quality builders who erected the changing room have managed to shag the posidrive head of one of the screws so that it only comes out about a third of an inch. I try to manipulate it and even try to pull the screw out by rocking the pole mount back and forth with no luck.

Being a proper fecking div, I try a bit too hard and from the wrong angle. Curtain pole bracket snaps and I rake my left index finger down either the screw head or broken end of the cold cast bracket. Cue much swearing and pain and a little blood followed by a trip to minor injuries to have the .5cm X .5cm triangular flap of skin torn from the second distal inner pad of my left index finger steri stripped and glued back in place. Full skin depth almost to the muscle and ligaments. It only really stung when the nurse folded the flap back with tweezers to straighten it out and then applied an anti septic and saline solution mix to the wound to clean it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 January, 2020, 11:13:16 pm
*winces and passes the mole grips*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 08 January, 2020, 11:44:48 pm
*winces and passes the mole grips*

Where were you and your mole grips when I needed you?
 ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 09 January, 2020, 12:06:10 am
*winces and passes the mole grips*

Where were you and your mole grips when I needed you?
 ::-)

Snakebite-puncturing my thumb while fighting with some 10mm2 cable and a low-end ratchet crimper.   :-[

(Stung like a bastard, but relatively superficial damage.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jaded on 09 January, 2020, 12:47:19 am
Remember to release the mole grips quite regularly to allow blood to flow to the healing area.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 January, 2020, 07:07:30 am
I thought you applied the mole grips to your nipple so you forgot the pain in your finger?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 09 January, 2020, 07:20:44 am
I thought you applied the mole grips to your nipple so you forgot the pain in your finger?

And elsewhere you're complaining about a little rubbing from your new saddle!???!! ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 January, 2020, 08:36:33 am
That lot got a size 3 aaaargh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 09 January, 2020, 09:30:47 am
*winces and passes the mole grips*

Where were you and your mole grips when I needed you?
 ::-)

Snakebite-puncturing my thumb while fighting with some 10mm2 cable and a low-end ratchet crimper.   :-[

(Stung like a bastard, but relatively superficial damage.)
Better your thumb than geting ire intrusion under the thumbnail.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 09 January, 2020, 11:02:32 pm
I thought you applied the mole grips to your nipple so you forgot the pain in your finger?

And elsewhere you're complaining about a little rubbing from your new saddle!???!! ;D

Pass me the molegrips would you
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 12 January, 2020, 04:11:46 pm
After a muddy ride - see "have you been out today" I left my cycling shoes outside the back door.

As the kids are at a party sorted out their bedroom and needed to empty the hot water bottles

We don't have an upstairs bathroom

No bother it's so mild I'd opened a back bedroom window to let some fresh air in

You can see where this is going

Went out to check on the new chickens and yes my cycling shoes are soaked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 12 January, 2020, 06:29:52 pm
After a muddy ride - see "have you been out today" I left my cycling shoes outside the back door.

As the kids are at a party sorted out their bedroom and needed to empty the hot water bottles

We don't have an upstairs bathroom

No bother it's so mild I'd opened a back bedroom window to let some fresh air in

You can see where this is going

Went out to check on the new chickens and yes my cycling shoes are soaked.
But cleaner!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 January, 2020, 04:36:10 pm
When faffing with Stuffs in that region of the Great Hall, ensure that you put everything back the way it was before, i.e. with the Blu-ray player on top of the stack.  That way the PVR will not be resting on the buttons which the derps at Panasonic saw fit to put on the top instead of on the front panel where they belong.  Wrestle cables (and win), put Blu-ray box on top of PVR, all well.  Hurrah!

See Grumble Thread for symptoms of divvery.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2020, 11:18:51 am
Pls be remembering to get your flu shot next year, ian.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 14 January, 2020, 03:40:24 pm
Pls be remembering to get your flu shot next year, ian.

Pls to be remembering your 'flu shot this year ian (next season, granted).
Suggest you put in a diary reminder for mid/end September now...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2020, 04:04:56 pm
Have we moved already?

Actually, I've been dodging them on purpose, because I had one several years back and immediately came down with serious flu and the kind of temperature that rapidly escalates you through the ranks of A&E medics. While the little scientist in me says that was just happenstance and bad luck, the scaredy homunculus of doubt on the other hand whispers are you sure?

But it was pretty horrible this time too, just not that horrible, but horrible enough that I don't want to do it again. I think I'll chance the jab this year, I'd had before without incident.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 17 January, 2020, 05:34:18 pm
I was supposed to be going to see the RLPO doing "Eroica" and some other stuff tonight, so started to get ready.  Put ticket in wallet.... that's for _last_ night  :facepalm:


Oh well,  I won't annoy people by coughing I suppose.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 18 January, 2020, 06:52:16 pm
I was reading a book this morning. Some of you may remember them, made from dead trees. I needed to know the time so glanced up to the top left corner of the page. Was very confused when it wasn’t there!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 19 January, 2020, 10:44:39 am
I was reading a book this morning. Some of you may remember them, made from dead trees. I needed to know the time so glanced up to the top left corner of the page. Was very confused when it wasn’t there!
I’ve rather to often tried to zoom in on magazine and newspaper photos with a two finger gesture, so I feel your confusion.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 January, 2020, 01:11:26 pm
I tried to scroll the map on my office wall the other day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 January, 2020, 05:56:00 pm
I get the end of the page and then reflexively press the right side.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 January, 2020, 07:47:13 pm
using the espresso machine yesterday, I only made one mistake. No cup  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 27 January, 2020, 05:03:41 pm
Looks like I've managed to ruin another pair of spiky winter tyres. Can't quite work out if it's cos I've absent mindedly pumped them up top high or run too soft.
Fucksticks
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 27 January, 2020, 09:16:31 pm
Actually maybe not such a div after all. Seems like I bought Marathon Winters in 2010 and 'Winter Spike' (20 quid vs 35) in 2017. I could have sworn I had to buy a new pair last year but no email is in evidence.
Time to go back to the Marathon Winters, clearly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 January, 2020, 04:58:20 pm
Started grinding down a strip of metal on the curved end of the bench sander, then thought it would do better if I braced it against the fence across the flat bit of the belt.  To do this I had to change my grip, so of course I got hold of the end I had just been grinding for 30 seconds...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 31 January, 2020, 07:31:20 pm
Ow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 31 January, 2020, 08:06:47 pm
The other week I put a baking tray on top of the oven, right next to the hob with the big pan sizzling away, the gas hob on full. It sat there for some time.

Then I picked it up. I think someone has rerouted the nerves from my hand to my brain via the moon. Or the ouch stopped off to get a burger and fries.

This me is just the sum of my scars. Cursed chickdiggery. My most impressive one of late is a pizza-burn, I reached into the over to retrieve my pizza and caught the 250-degree shelf above on the back of my hand. That's a keeper. To be honest, it's a bit late to worry, I have actual grooves in my skull that you could fly a little x-wing fighter down. But best they don't, I don't want my head to blow up like a Deathstar (they were crap weren't they?)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 31 January, 2020, 08:12:18 pm
My most impressive one of late is a pizza-burn, I reached into the over to retrieve my pizza and caught the 250-degree shelf above on the back of my hand.

This injury seems to be sufficiently common that you can get silicone wossnames to attach to the front edge of the shelf to prevent it.  I invested in a set a few years ago (while buying another to pass on to a dyspraxic friend) and have been grateful for them on several occasions.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 31 January, 2020, 09:00:36 pm
I've managed to avoid getting burned by the oven shelves, but there was that time I forgot that I had just taken the frying pan with the aluminium handle out of the oven...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 31 January, 2020, 09:19:47 pm
Seared a steak in the fancy Le Creuset* pan, popped the pan with steak on it into the oven.  Forgot to turn the hob all the way off & put a plate down on it.  5 minutes later picked up the plate....   I'm equally amazed that I didn't drop it & didn't have a handful of blisters. 


*Excellent for weight training..
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 01 February, 2020, 07:57:41 am
I've managed to avoid getting burned by the oven shelves, but there was that time I forgot that I had just taken the frying pan with the aluminium handle out of the oven...

Not me, Mrs ED, toad in the hole made in a stainless steel pan, in the oven, pulled it out using an oven glove, put it down on the hob. A short while later picked it up to serve, not using the oven glove, very ouch
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 29 February, 2020, 12:04:43 pm
Today I got a refund of overpaid corporation tax - I'd managed to pay it twice.  Payable to my company of course.  Last week I closed my business banking account as I'm currently staff  ::-). 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 February, 2020, 01:23:24 pm
I discovered that before putting a scoop of coffee beans in the grinder it's best to remove the lid.  Only a small scoop, fortunately.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 29 February, 2020, 05:06:04 pm
Me standing in front of telly getting increasingly frustrated as I failed to find the England Wales rugby.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 02 March, 2020, 09:26:11 pm
I just hit myself in the nose with the laundry basket, with a bit of help from a door.

It's a special dizzy kind of painful.

Fucksake.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 02 March, 2020, 09:53:36 pm
Oops. Reminds me of the time I misjudged the weight of a saucepan and smacked myself in the lip with it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 02 March, 2020, 09:57:25 pm
I just hit myself in the nose with the laundry basket, with a bit of help from a door.

It's a special dizzy kind of painful.

Fucksake.
Sorry, but  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 02 March, 2020, 10:25:05 pm
I just hit myself in the nose with the laundry basket, with a bit of help from a door.

It's a special dizzy kind of painful.

Fucksake.

As I discovered when I was 10 and at a playground break for a school entrance exam.
Hefty classmate was running, tripped into my back and sandwiched me face down into the gravel. Result: nose grazed and bleeding from both inside and out, plus cut knee.

Unsurprisingly, my return to the exam was delayed while they cleaned me up etc...
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on 02 March, 2020, 11:16:38 pm
You're all reminding me of the time I whacked my chin off my knee and put my teeth through the bit below my lower lip.

It was a rather pathetic jump off a climbing frame, paper stitches and 5 years of orthodontics followed.

Sent from my BKL-L09 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jasmine on 03 March, 2020, 01:38:53 pm
I just hit myself in the nose with the laundry basket, with a bit of help from a door.

It's a special dizzy kind of painful.

Fucksake.

Sympathies. A few weeks ago I was wheeling my (green waste) bin down the road. The lid flipped up and hit me in the face (due to the gale force winds). It still hurts.  :( :facepalm:
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: T42 on 03 March, 2020, 04:15:27 pm
You're all reminding me of the time I whacked my chin off my knee and put my teeth through the bit below my lower lip.

It was a rather pathetic jump off a climbing frame, paper stitches and 5 years of orthodontics followed.

Sent from my BKL-L09 using Tapatalk

Pathetic covers one of my greater mishaps too.  I jumped down a 6' bank in the forest and landed mostly on my right heel.  The soles & heels of my shoes were pretty solid rubber, and did nothing to absorb the impact. Result: cracked astragalus & torn cartilage, exacerbated by rubbing across crack.  Cartilage seems to have remained overly thin and fragile, and has plagued me on & off ever since it happened, 29 years ago. Latest manifestation was today as I turned up a steep bit in the wrong gear.

Wanna hear something ironic? Another word for the astragalus bone is the talus, and the French word for a bank such as I jumped down is talus.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 March, 2020, 09:04:13 pm
British medics use the term 'talus'. I had not heard of the 'astragalus' before.
Perhaps others have...
This is the central bone in the ankle mortice; it has the fibula to the outside, the tibia to the top and inside and the heel bone (calcis/calcaneum) below. To the fore are the concave navicular bone and the wedgy cuneiforms.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 03 March, 2020, 09:32:59 pm
This is Talos.  Also done in by his ankle....  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdgY9vgRcRw&frags=pl%2Cwn
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 March, 2020, 06:37:25 pm
I bought a new pair of trousers y'day. I didn't try them on cos I had an appointment with the pub. After the pub I put them somewhere safe where the cats wouldn't lie on them before I got round to trying them on.
I haven't quite figured out where that was yet...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 March, 2020, 07:05:48 pm
Have you seen what the cats are wearing today?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 March, 2020, 08:06:40 pm
Don't go to York!  (see trouser-related divvery passim)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jaded on 08 March, 2020, 10:29:49 pm
The safety overflow in the coffee machine is just big enough to take the flow when you forget to put a cup under the outflow...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 12 March, 2020, 11:11:10 am
I, as the very epitome of chivalry, held open a door for the woman behind me today. She stopped dead and looked me in the face and I thought, oh no, is this a thing now, am I'm going to be added to an office-wide #metoo denunciation spreadsheet as 'unnecessary door holding patriarchal creep #4' and be forced to spend a week completing online microaggression assignments. "No thanks," she says and walks off.

It was only then that I realised I was holding open the door to the men's loo.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rob on 12 March, 2020, 11:52:39 am
Pumped the car tyres up in the dark using my front bike light as a torch last night.   Arrived at work to notice a distinctly light-free front light bracket.

Must be in the garage somewhere.   Mental note to knock off at 4:30 so as to get home in daylight.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 12 March, 2020, 12:58:16 pm
Ian, I've done that in reverse (held the door of the ladies open to a man). Fortunately we just laughed when I realised what I was doing...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 12 March, 2020, 02:07:06 pm
It could have been worse, she could have followed me in.

No idea who she was, I suspect I may have terrorised an interviewee.

I've also done the stand-up-to-let-the-pregnant-lady sit to be told 'erm, I'm not...'

I'm a walking, talking social calamity.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 March, 2020, 04:12:52 pm
Best tactic is to be out-and-out rude, then you know what to expect.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 March, 2020, 11:53:17 am
I have just written off our kettle in a very novel way.

For some reason that I could not fathom, our health-related thermometer seemed not to be functioning. I decided to see if I could get some mercury to go up the tube by holding it in the steam from the kettle which my dear wife was boiling for the express purpose of enjoying her morning cup of redbush.

The thermometer's bulb exploded and all the glass and mercury fell into the kettle. I don't think that any of us fancies mercury poisoning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 19 March, 2020, 11:56:28 am
You've got nothing on my mother-in-law. She put our kettle on the gas hob.


It was an electric kettle....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 March, 2020, 12:00:57 pm
You've got nothing on my mother-in-law. She put our kettle on the gas hob.


It was an electric kettle....

I suspect that that is relatively common though.

When I was a very young Bagger, circa 8 years old, there was an occasion on which I came home from school when my mother was out somewhere. We had a high-security system in which there was a back-door key hanging up in the shed.

My mother had included written instructions for stuff I should do when I got home, including the very specific "Light the gas under the kettle."

I did just that, and was a little surprised a few minutes later when molten metal found its way onto the stove top and the whole house reeked of a sort of coppery smell. After all, the instructions didn't mention filing the kettle up before I lit the gas...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 12:05:10 pm
...
The thermometer's bulb exploded and all the glass and mercury fell into the kettle. I don't thnk that any of us fancies mercury poisoning.

The liquid mercury is fine, it's the vapour...

Oh, hot kettle. Run!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 19 March, 2020, 12:50:36 pm
You'll be fine.  I seem to remember pushing, with a finger, mercury around a wooden tray in the school chemmy lab some 50 odd years ago.  Then, blowing the asbestos dust off the samples in the minerals lab whilst doing geology at Uni.

I'm still here.

Maybe some bat-derived virus mutation from China will get me one day, if there ever were to be such a thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 March, 2020, 12:59:15 pm

The thermometer's bulb exploded and all the glass and mercury fell into the kettle. I don't think that any of us fancies mercury poisoning.

At least you resolved the issue of whether the thermometer worked or not.

Our chem lab benches contained mercury in commercial quantities. You could spend entire periods mining it with a compass-point.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 19 March, 2020, 01:07:28 pm
I once did a decontamination job on a lab at Harwell, parquet floor with pints and pints of free mercury floating around underneath
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 01:13:57 pm
There's a guy on Youtube who floated himself in mercury. He wore wellies. You can float a huge iron anvil in a tank full of mercury, it bobs up and down like a rubber duck in a bathtub.

Liquid elemental mercury is very poorly absorbed through the skin or your gastrointestinal tract. Mercury vapour, on the other hand, gets everywhere quickly. The boiling point is around 350 degrees Celsius so there's not typically going to be much vapour at room temperature.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 March, 2020, 01:16:45 pm
Is that the same guy who flushed a toilet[1] with it (it worked) and squirted it through the gaps between his teeth?

Metallic mercury is Mostly Harmless, unless you're made of aluminium.  It's the salts and vapour you need to watch out for.  And, in the case of catastrophic thermometer failure, broken glass.


[1] Plumbled into a big bucket to catch the mercury.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 01:19:06 pm
I think it must be. He has a lot of mercury on hand (I'm jealous). I like the way he cleans it by simply wiping a kitchen towel across the surface.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 19 March, 2020, 01:30:11 pm
National grid also has lots of mercury in tanmper swithces on pre-pay meters. They're slowly pulling the meters out of service and plan to recover all the mercury as hazardous waste.  Two places in europe could do it last time I looked ath this, one in Southampton and one in Switzerland.  Switzerland would have been a transboundary shipment of hazardous waste, not trivial outside of the EU.

And post Brexit where will our haz waste go?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 March, 2020, 01:33:41 pm
Then there's this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid-mirror_telescope
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 March, 2020, 01:41:32 pm
Then there's this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid-mirror_telescope

IIRC Hananananananah the Astronononononomer briefly dabbled in those, before specialising in hitting things with spanners and being eaten by African beasties.  Her verdict was "they're fine for cosmology".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 19 March, 2020, 02:59:08 pm
Dental fillings used a mercury amalgam when I was young.

Think all mine have since been refilled with more modern materials.

Minamata disease in Japan was caused by industrial mercury pollution in rivers getting into fish.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 19 March, 2020, 03:21:16 pm
Mad as a hatter
'Hatters' shakes' (not Hattie Jacques) refer to Hg poisoning...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 03:22:08 pm
My fillings are still amalgam. It's stable (completely insoluble, hence their use) and there's no need to remove them (in fact, it's safer to leave them in place, though of course, that doesn't pay for your dentist's ski holiday).

Minamata was organic mercury poisoning. Those compounds are extremely dangerous.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 19 March, 2020, 03:25:33 pm
Some of my dental fillings are mercury amalgam. They were done by either a dental hospital or a private dentist.
My cheap and nasty NHS amalgam fillings never lasted.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 March, 2020, 03:28:11 pm
My fillings are still amalgam. It's stable (completely insoluble, hence their use) and there's no need to remove them (in fact, it's safer to leave them in place, though of course, that doesn't pay for your dentist's ski holiday).

I have a several of amalgam fillings dating from the mid 1990s, when the damage caused by a brief fad for applying a preemptive sealant to children's molars took effect.  My dentist wants to replace them, but I'm operating on the "sure, once they actually show any sign of falling apart" principle.  If they've lasted 25 years, they're probably good for a few more, so why disturb them?

I have a more recent filling from about 2004, where I was strongly encouraged to go for amalgam, as it was more durable than the polymer stuff.  It seems set to out-last the surrounding tooth, which got bodged with some polymer filling a couple of years ago.  (When it goes, I'm going to have it extracted.  It's right at the back, and I don't use it for chewing anyway.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 March, 2020, 03:31:30 pm
Of course, we all know that the world's primary source of mercury is Hg wells...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 03:33:57 pm
There's no reason to remove mercury amalgam filings (in fact, it's specifically recommended against unless there's a good reason, mostly because drilling these things will release mercury vapour which is bad for you and the dentist). They can corrode through the usual pathways, but generally, if they don't fall out, they'll last a lifetime. Metallic mercury and alloys will pass through you.

I think the main reason for phasing them is the occupational hazard of dentists playing around with the stuff.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 March, 2020, 03:38:18 pm
They're probably a significant environmental hazard when disposing of dead bodies, but not one that's going to go away any time soon.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 03:47:21 pm
I think they're supposed to remove them before cremation, for the obvious reasons.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 March, 2020, 03:50:14 pm
What happens then?  Yellow bucket of teeth shipped to China?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 04:06:12 pm
We probably dump them in some developing world country.

Google tells me they proposed removing them (though it never seemed to have been accepted, where's the EU when you need it) before cremation, but 'too expensive' so if you live downstream of a crematorium, hold your breath. Probably generically good advice.

There seem to be several recycling firms. Presumably, they recover it and resell it.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 March, 2020, 04:10:04 pm
Or sell it to the lightbulb factories.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 19 March, 2020, 04:10:52 pm
It brings to mind that wonderful first line  ...... "It was the day my grandmother exploded" .... from "The Crow Road". 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 19 March, 2020, 04:16:16 pm
Most crematoria have now beeen retrofitted with mercury filters on the exhausts as part of licensing under the IED (industrial emissions directive) so before you ask "what did the EU ever do for us?"...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 19 March, 2020, 04:20:43 pm
You'll be fine.  I seem to remember pushing, with a finger, mercury around a wooden tray in the school chemmy lab some 50 odd years ago.  Then, blowing the asbestos dust off the samples in the minerals lab whilst doing geology at Uni.


Add to that cloud chambers using alpha radiation sources, and bromine to show Brownian motion. For the latter we had a bucket of IIRC Ammonia, and then a bucket of water, in which to plunge our hands if contaminated.  Oh, and we made mercury barometers, fill the tube, thumb over the end and dunk on the basin of mercury  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 19 March, 2020, 05:26:42 pm
You'll be fine.  I seem to remember pushing, with a finger, mercury around a wooden tray in the school chemmy lab some 50 odd years ago.  Then, blowing the asbestos dust off the samples in the minerals lab whilst doing geology at Uni.


Add to that cloud chambers using alpha radiation sources, and bromine to show Brownian motion. For the latter we had a bucket of IIRC Ammonia, and then a bucket of water, in which to plunge our hands if contaminated.  Oh, and we made mercury barometers, fill the tube, thumb over the end and dunk on the basin of mercury  ;D
We had an electric motor made from a star shaped piece of metal, a coil and a mercury bath. The tips of the star made and broke the circuit as they dipped in and out of the mercury. Mercury fumes were generated as it did so.

I may have misremembered the details, but the star and the mercury were definitely part of it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2020, 07:19:59 pm
Most crematoria have now beeen retrofitted with mercury filters on the exhausts as part of licensing under the IED (industrial emissions directive) so before you ask "what did the EU ever do for us?"...

I figured there must be some directive or regulation (hence my comment) but Google wasn't forthcoming in the details.

I remember our A physics teacher lost the radioactive source for making the Geiger counter click. Found it towards the end of the lesson in his trouser pocket. (Only alpha, but it's the thought that counts.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 20 March, 2020, 08:01:45 am
You'll be fine.  I seem to remember pushing, with a finger, mercury around a wooden tray in the school chemmy lab some 50 odd years ago.  Then, blowing the asbestos dust off the samples in the minerals lab whilst doing geology at Uni.


Add to that cloud chambers using alpha radiation sources, and bromine to show Brownian motion. For the latter we had a bucket of IIRC Ammonia, and then a bucket of water, in which to plunge our hands if contaminated.  Oh, and we made mercury barometers, fill the tube, thumb over the end and dunk on the basin of mercury  ;D

I'd forgotten the bromine!  IIRC it used to live in a brown glass jar out on the workbenches in the labs, along with conc. Nitric acid and a couple of other fairly dodgy liquids. 

I do recall one lad, Nigel H, knocking the bromine bottle off the bench to the floor where it duly smashed. There was a fairly hurried evacuation of the lab I recall. 

How we laughed......

And we used to (briefly)  light the bench gas taps.  The flame was about a metre long.

And I suspect the Millenials think that our generation are all safe and staid.  If only they knew.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 March, 2020, 08:47:13 am
Most crematoria have now beeen retrofitted with mercury filters on the exhausts as part of licensing under the IED (industrial emissions directive) so before you ask "what did the EU ever do for us?"...

I figured there must be some directive or regulation (hence my comment) but Google wasn't forthcoming in the details.

I remember our A physics teacher lost the radioactive source for making the Geiger counter click. Found it towards the end of the lesson in his trouser pocket. (Only alpha, but it's the thought that counts.)

When our physics master received our school's first Geiger counter & sources, none of them were particularly active.  His watch, though, set it ticking like a happy grasshopper. He immediately snatched his hand away from the detector head then realized that the watch had come with it.

When he asked for any other luminous dials on their watches I held mine forward, but it was the more modern type that didn't use radium: the ignorant sod hadn't heard of phosphorescent dials and made fun of me for thinking I had a luminous watch when I hadn't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 20 March, 2020, 10:24:15 am
My physics teacher borrowed the school Geiger counter and took it to Cornwall on holiday. He picked up rock samples on the beach which were far more radioactive than anything the school was supposed to have on the premises.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 March, 2020, 10:29:23 am
Most old (pre-WW2) colour-glazed tableware will make a counter do some frantic BPMs. Especially the red ones.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 20 March, 2020, 10:41:53 am
talking of nutty school teachers, my A-level chemistry teacher picked up some nice chunks of limestone with fossils in there on a field trip. When we got back, he decided to clean one up a bit during a class, using a tupperware container full of conc. HCl. Turned it over in the tub a few times to get it coated all over of course.

Next time we saw him he had plasters on all his fingertips
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 20 March, 2020, 11:52:56 am
We had the marvellous 'Mad' Mike Smith.

His two most notable events were : -

i)  Jumping down from the platform at London Bridge and hopping onto the live 3rd rail to demo that electricity is only dangerous if you form part of a circuit

ii)  Driving the school minibus (complete with full load of pupils) into one of those downhill escape lanes to 'see what happens'. What happens is that the gravel comes up to the top of the front part of the bonnet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 March, 2020, 12:08:31 pm
I bet Network Rail (or whatever they were called at the time) were delighted!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 20 March, 2020, 12:27:24 pm
No CCTV in those days. No-one noticed, or thought to bring it to anyone important's attention.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 20 March, 2020, 01:38:42 pm
I've just noticed a drawer (amongst my DymoTM labelled drawers) labelled "Switches. Reed" with a mercury filled tilt switch in it.
Enough mercury in it to probably fill a couple of thimbles.

ETA:
We had the marvellous 'Mad' Mike Smith.

His two most notable events were : -

i)  Jumping down from the platform at London Bridge and hopping onto the live 3rd rail to demo that electricity is only dangerous if you form part of a circuit

ii)  Driving the school minibus (complete with full load of pupils) into one of those downhill escape lanes to 'see what happens'. What happens is that the gravel comes up to the top of the front part of the bonnet.
My bold. I'm impressed.
If memory serves, I had a school friend who went to work for London Transport (as it was then) on the tube and was told 'Step on the juice rail' on the basis that if you did that, there was less chance of tripping over it.
Can't see it myself.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 20 March, 2020, 02:26:37 pm
I've just noticed a drawer (amongst my DymoTM labelled drawers) labelled "Switches. Reed" with a mercury filled tilt switch in it.
Enough mercury in it to probably fill a couple of thimbles.

ETA:
We had the marvellous 'Mad' Mike Smith.

His two most notable events were : -

i)  Jumping down from the platform at London Bridge and hopping onto the live 3rd rail to demo that electricity is only dangerous if you form part of a circuit

ii)  Driving the school minibus (complete with full load of pupils) into one of those downhill escape lanes to 'see what happens'. What happens is that the gravel comes up to the top of the front part of the bonnet.
My bold. I'm impressed.
If memory serves, I had a school friend who went to work for London Transport (as it was then) on the tube and was told 'Step on the juice rail' on the basis that if you did that, there was less chance of tripping over it.
Can't see it myself.
Training (see what I did there?) these days is don't tread on any rail.

Some years ago The Girl's school had an exchange visit from a school in Accra. The Ghanaian students went on a trip to London. While waiting at the station, one of them dropped a possession, wallet or some such, on to the track.  They calmly leapt down to retrieve it. Not so calm was the reaction of the host school teaching staff nor the station bods.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 March, 2020, 03:54:41 pm
Suicide or terrorist, depending on the mood of the time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 20 March, 2020, 04:09:03 pm
I've just noticed a drawer (amongst my DymoTM labelled drawers) labelled "Switches. Reed" with a mercury filled tilt switch in it.
Enough mercury in it to probably fill a couple of thimbles.

ETA:
We had the marvellous 'Mad' Mike Smith.

His two most notable events were : -

i)  Jumping down from the platform at London Bridge and hopping onto the live 3rd rail to demo that electricity is only dangerous if you form part of a circuit

ii)  Driving the school minibus (complete with full load of pupils) into one of those downhill escape lanes to 'see what happens'. What happens is that the gravel comes up to the top of the front part of the bonnet.
My bold. I'm impressed.
If memory serves, I had a school friend who went to work for London Transport (as it was then) on the tube and was told 'Step on the juice rail' on the basis that if you did that, there was less chance of tripping over it.
Can't see it myself.
Training (see what I did there?) these days is don't tread on any rail.

Some years ago The Girl's school had an exchange visit from a school in Accra. The Ghanaian students went on a trip to London. While waiting at the station, one of them dropped a possession, wallet or some such, on to the track.  They calmly leapt down to retrieve it. Not so calm was the reaction of the host school teaching staff nor the station bods.
Remind me, when we've the time, to tell you about the occasion when I single-handedly managed to close down Bond Street Station.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 20 March, 2020, 09:15:47 pm
Quote from: Jurek
Remind me, when we've the time, to tell you about the occasion when I single-handedly managed to close down Bond Street Station.
Well it looks like none of us are going anywhere soon...  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 March, 2020, 09:17:48 pm
I've just noticed a drawer (amongst my DymoTM labelled drawers) labelled "Switches. Reed" with a mercury filled tilt switch in it.
Enough mercury in it to probably fill a couple of thimbles.

ETA:
We had the marvellous 'Mad' Mike Smith.

His two most notable events were : -

i)  Jumping down from the platform at London Bridge and hopping onto the live 3rd rail to demo that electricity is only dangerous if you form part of a circuit

ii)  Driving the school minibus (complete with full load of pupils) into one of those downhill escape lanes to 'see what happens'. What happens is that the gravel comes up to the top of the front part of the bonnet.
My bold. I'm impressed.
If memory serves, I had a school friend who went to work for London Transport (as it was then) on the tube and was told 'Step on the juice rail' on the basis that if you did that, there was less chance of tripping over it.
Can't see it myself.
Training (see what I did there?) these days is don't tread on any rail.

Some years ago The Girl's school had an exchange visit from a school in Accra. The Ghanaian students went on a trip to London. While waiting at the station, one of them dropped a possession, wallet or some such, on to the track.  They calmly leapt down to retrieve it. Not so calm was the reaction of the host school teaching staff nor the station bods.
Remind me, when we've the time, to tell you about the occasion when I single-handedly managed to close down Bond Street Station.

Pah. I kicked a nuclear reactor containment vessel and an entire US State ran out of electricity.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 20 March, 2020, 09:18:32 pm
@Jurek: Was it with a squirrel?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 March, 2020, 07:11:44 pm
I've just noticed a drawer (amongst my DymoTM labelled drawers) labelled "Switches. Reed" with a mercury filled tilt switch in it.
Enough mercury in it to probably fill a couple of thimbles.

ETA:
We had the marvellous 'Mad' Mike Smith.

His two most notable events were : -

i)  Jumping down from the platform at London Bridge and hopping onto the live 3rd rail to demo that electricity is only dangerous if you form part of a circuit

ii)  Driving the school minibus (complete with full load of pupils) into one of those downhill escape lanes to 'see what happens'. What happens is that the gravel comes up to the top of the front part of the bonnet.
My bold. I'm impressed.
If memory serves, I had a school friend who went to work for London Transport (as it was then) on the tube and was told 'Step on the juice rail' on the basis that if you did that, there was less chance of tripping over it.
Can't see it myself.
Training (see what I did there?) these days is don't tread on any rail.

Some years ago The Girl's school had an exchange visit from a school in Accra. The Ghanaian students went on a trip to London. While waiting at the station, one of them dropped a possession, wallet or some such, on to the track.  They calmly leapt down to retrieve it. Not so calm was the reaction of the host school teaching staff nor the station bods.
Remind me, when we've the time, to tell you about the occasion when I single-handedly managed to close down Bond Street Station.

Pah. I kicked a nuclear reactor containment vessel and an entire US State ran out of electricity.

YABJBIACMLTK

Quote
Bond and Leiter followed Petty Officer Fallon along the lower deck to the engine room and then to the engine-repair shop. On their way they passed through the reactor room. The reactor, the equivalent of a controlled atomic bomb, was an obscene knee-level bulge rising out of the thickly leaded deck. As they passed it, Leiter whispered to Bond, "Liquid sodium Submarine Intermediate Reactor Mark B.'' He grinned sourly and crossed himself.
Bond gave the thing a sideways kick with his shoe. "Steam-age stuff. Our Navy's got the Mark C.''
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 21 March, 2020, 09:16:48 pm
LTK? Lead Trimmed Knickers?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 March, 2020, 09:42:45 pm
LTK? Lead Trimmed Knickers?
Almost.
Licence To Kill
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 21 March, 2020, 09:51:36 pm
LTK? Lead Trimmed Knickers?
Almost.
Licence To Kill
'Kin 'ell.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 21 March, 2020, 11:49:47 pm
LTK? Lead Trimmed Knickers?
Almost.
Licence To Kill

Fair enough. Having decrypted BJB I really shouldn't have been sidetracked down the radioactive corridor.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 March, 2020, 11:57:35 pm
LTK? Lead Trimmed Knickers?
Almost.
Licence To Kill

Fair enough. Having decrypted BJB I really shouldn't have been sidetracked down the radioactive corridor.
What's more worrying is that I last read Thunderball well over twenty years ago, yet ian's remark fired up a memory that allowed me to google "Thunderball steam age".

(edited to try to fix broken quoting)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 22 March, 2020, 11:41:07 am
Of course, we all know that the world's primary source of mercury is Hg wells...

Very good!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 22 March, 2020, 11:47:43 am
And I suspect the Millenials think that our generation are all safe and staid.  If only they knew.....

I was reminded yesterday that one of the main roads near me - a straight stretch of a few miles length - used to have what was known back in the day as a "chicken lane", ie a central third lane on a single carriageway, used for overtaking... in both directions.

What I want to know is, what fucking idiot ever imagined that could possibly be a good idea?

Must have been the late 80s before they finally got rid of it.

[ETA: officially classified as S3 roads - apparently they do still exist. And this page also reminded me of the Aston Expressway, which is classified as S7... one of the (many) reasons I never drive to Birmingham. https://www.sabre-roads.org.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Single_carriageway ]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 March, 2020, 11:59:35 am
I remember bits of the A4 being like that, near Hungerford IIRC. Or maybe it was Marlborough. Then they removed the third lane by simply hatching it. Those aren't busy sections of road so it actually worked ok.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 22 March, 2020, 12:01:59 pm
Ditto on parts of the A5 and other sizeable roads. I think there was a fashion amongst highway engineers until they looked at the crash statistics after that arrangement had been in place for a few years.

The resulting wide roads (after being converted back to two lanes) are actually pretty good to cycle on, due to decent lateral separation for drivers overtaking cyclists.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 22 March, 2020, 01:58:42 pm
We still have a short - less than 300m - length of three-lane, on Tring Hill on the old A41. Mostly used by traffic going up the hill. The one I remember most was somewhere south of Basingstoke around 40 years ago on what is now the A33.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 March, 2020, 02:15:53 pm
LTK? Lead Trimmed Knickers?
Almost.
Licence To Kill

Fair enough. Having decrypted BJB I really shouldn't have been sidetracked down the radioactive corridor.
What's more worrying is that I last read Thunderball well over twenty years ago, yet ian's remark fired up a memory that allowed me to google "Thunderball steam age".

(edited to try to fix broken quoting)

Interesting factoid 1: The screenplay for Thunderball was co-written by the grandfather of former World's Fastest Mammal Sam Whittingham.

1: Subject to usual T&C
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 22 March, 2020, 02:25:38 pm
And I suspect the Millenials think that our generation are all safe and staid.  If only they knew.....

I was reminded yesterday that one of the main roads near me - a straight stretch of a few miles length - used to have what was known back in the day as a "chicken lane", ie a central third lane on a single carriageway, used for overtaking... in both directions.

What I want to know is, what fucking idiot ever imagined that could possibly be a good idea?

Must have been the late 80s before they finally got rid of it.

[ETA: officially classified as S3 roads - apparently they do still exist. And this page also reminded me of the Aston Expressway, which is classified as S7... one of the (many) reasons I never drive to Birmingham. https://www.sabre-roads.org.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Single_carriageway ]

LAst tiem I went on it the A17 was like that, not actually three lanes, but three lanes wide and people overtaking down the middle
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 22 March, 2020, 03:24:52 pm
There's one section of the A303 near me which is supposed to be the last of those three lane roads to be built (according to local legend).
It was still three lane when I moved here 20 years ago, but after one particularly nasty incident, they changed it so that the middle lane is in one direction for about a mile or so, then swaps, with double whites the whole way.
My dad always used to refer to the lanes as nearside, offside and suicide.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 22 March, 2020, 03:29:11 pm
There's one section of the A303 near me which is supposed to be the last of those three lane roads to be built (according to local legend).
It was still three lane when I moved here 20 years ago, but after one particularly nasty incident, they changed it so that the middle lane is in one direction for about a mile or so, then swaps, with double whites the whole way.
My dad always used to refer to the lanes as nearside, offside and suicide.

There are a couple of bits of that between the A14 and Market Bosworth, you get the extra lane on the uphills to go past the HGVs, you need to exercise great caution
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 22 March, 2020, 04:26:55 pm
Quote from: citoyen
Quote from: andytheflyer
And I suspect the Millenials think that our generation are all safe and staid.  If only they knew.....

I was reminded yesterday that one of the main roads near me - a straight stretch of a few miles length - used to have what was known back in the day as a "chicken lane", ie a central third lane on a single carriageway, used for overtaking... in both directions.

What I want to know is, what fucking idiot ever imagined that could possibly be a good idea?
Oh yes.  I remember them.  The A8 by Broxburn especially, but 50 years ago there were rather fewer cars on the roads than there are now and lorries were also very, very much slower* than, most, cars so it sort of worked. These days?  File under "Stark, staring bonkers".


*I still find it slightly odd to be overtaken on the motorway by (usually) a Polish or other eastern european juggernaut tanking along at 70+. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orraloon on 22 March, 2020, 08:11:25 pm
The Dorchester (Oxfordshire one) bypass was set out as one of those 3 lane monsters.  Except it is all curved so there is no place bar perhaps the extreme Eastern end where one could see if it was clear ahead to overtake.  I hated that road.  So many close calls which I saw, and so many fatalities.  Gone to std 2 lane now but there are still txssers around...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 22 March, 2020, 08:43:14 pm
Are these 3-lane things not usually line-marked so that they are an overtaking lane for only one side at a time?

Like marked with double solid lines which alternate from side to side, to the overtaking lane 'belongs' to one side or the other?

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 22 March, 2020, 08:49:29 pm
They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 23 March, 2020, 03:07:21 pm
Good news: I have finally found the missing edge piece of the jigsaw puzzle.

In Fecking Div news:  It was never bloody missing.  The edge just needed joining together.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 23 March, 2020, 05:26:03 pm
last summer we went en-famille to Go Ape at Thetford forest. I rode over as there were insufficient seats in the car, and wore my light weight long fingered gloves, to give me a bit of prtection from the ropes and cables. Since then, for the life of me I've not been able to find those gloves. 

I went for a run this evening, off road, requiring trail shoes, which I last wore when I went to Go Ape  :facepalm:

Now I know where those gloves have been since August
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 March, 2020, 05:58:32 pm
I like this one
https://goo.gl/maps/AdQRaA2UZ54nGsx88
Because when I'm plodding up there at 0.5mph towards the end of a long day, almost all the overtaking traffic uses the middle lane to pass me. It's never busy, despite being an A road (but I've never used it at eg 9a.m. on a Monday).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 March, 2020, 06:20:59 pm
I gave up on today's turbo session after 20 minutes.  Heart rate on 90% although I was only in 39 x 17.

When I finished, I found the resistance lever had been knocked from 2 to 6  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 March, 2020, 10:06:26 am
Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 24 March, 2020, 10:39:00 am
Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.
In normal times you could put it in a jar of rice and hope.  However, these days getting hold of rice is a bit of a challenge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 24 March, 2020, 12:33:07 pm
Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.
In normal times you could put it in a jar of rice and hope.  However, these days getting hold of rice is a bit of a challenge.

I think a jar of rice is worth more than the most expensive phone anyway! :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 March, 2020, 02:43:45 pm
Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.
In normal times you could put it in a jar of rice and hope.  However, these days getting hold of rice is a bit of a challenge.
The rice thing is actually a really bad idea. Rice has a load of fine starch - that will end up stuck to contacts etc in the phone.

Putting it on a radiator (or other heat source) to drive out moisture is the best thing to do.

I've done that. Still stuffed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 March, 2020, 02:50:37 pm
They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.
Most of the A4 in Wiltshire used to be like that.  People are too stupid to use such roads.  There are still 3-lane roads where the single lane has a broken/solid line, and these are the same to all intents and purposes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 24 March, 2020, 02:53:44 pm
They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.
Most of the A4 in Wiltshire used to be like that.  People are too stupid to use such roads.  There are still 3-lane roads where the single lane has a broken/solid line, and these are the same to all intents and purposes.

The anomaly of that broken/solid line on the single lane is that theoretically oncoming traffic can enter it  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 25 March, 2020, 01:30:27 pm
accidentally knocked over the jar of smelly oil with sticks in it this lunchtime, changed shirt adn jumper, washed hands twice and I still stink of it  :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 March, 2020, 02:41:17 pm
They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.
Most of the A4 in Wiltshire used to be like that.  People are too stupid to use such roads.  There are still 3-lane roads where the single lane has a broken/solid line, and these are the same to all intents and purposes.

The anomaly of that broken/solid line on the single lane is that theoretically oncoming traffic can enter it  :demon:
But it does at least imply that the lane is primarily for traffic in one direction with the other direction able to use it only for overtaking; as in the example I posted upthread, where it's clearly for uphill traffic with downhill traffic having to give way to them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 26 March, 2020, 07:03:11 am
accidentally knocked over the jar of smelly oil with sticks in it this lunchtime, changed shirt adn jumper, washed hands twice and I still stink of it  :sick:

Mrs ED commented on how it fragranced the whole of the washing
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 02 April, 2020, 09:09:13 pm
Decided to let the turbo bike out of its cage today so fitted the wheel with a proper tyre on it rather than a turbo tyre and set off.

Did I mention that I’ve moved house since I last used that bike outside?

Or rather than living at the bottom of a steep hill I now live at the top of one?

Or that the as the turbo wheel rim is wider than the road one to fit/remove it I had to disengage the rear brake?

I expect that you can guess the rest...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 02 April, 2020, 10:23:11 pm
Oooooo ......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 03 April, 2020, 08:24:22 am
Fortunately I managed to stop before Newtonian physics took over.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 03 April, 2020, 10:13:55 am
accidentally knocked over the jar of smelly oil with sticks in it this lunchtime, changed shirt adn jumper, washed hands twice and I still stink of it  :sick:

Mrs ED commented on how it fragranced the whole of the washing

Ah yes. I recall when we had some Forties MOL pumps in for repair (Delta IIRC, with sand scouring of the internals). I was very careful, absolutely certain I'd not touched any of it, however I was wrong. It haunted me for days!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 03 April, 2020, 10:24:10 am
A belated one, but I'm reminded every morning.  I have a DAB bedside radio/alarm. It can have up to three alarms set, but I only use one at a time.  I''d been religiously turning it off after it sounded on a Friday morning, and back on again Sunday.

It has a setting for "weekdays only".   ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 19 April, 2020, 02:27:32 pm
Bought a replacement for the broken glass cover for the back camera on my iPhone 6S. Just tried to fit it and after much frustrating impersonating of an ugly sister trying to squeeze her foot into a glass slipper, gave it up as a bad job.

Went to ebay to leave feedback registering my dissatisfaction at being sold a duff...

That's when I noticed that I'd ordered the part for the 6S Plus, not the standard 6S. They look superficially the same, but the 6S part has a larger diameter (by probably less than 0.5mm, but enough to ensure it won't fit).

Oh well, at least it's only a couple of quid wasted. Correct part now ordered.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 April, 2020, 07:53:59 pm
Decided to let the turbo bike out of its cage today so fitted the wheel with a proper tyre on it rather than a turbo tyre and set off.

Did I mention that I’ve moved house since I last used that bike outside?

Or rather than living at the bottom of a steep hill I now live at the top of one?

Or that the as the turbo wheel rim is wider than the road one to fit/remove it I had to disengage the rear brake?

I expect that you can guess the rest...
Somewhere in this thread is my account of something similar. Except I'd forgotten that I'd disconnected front and rear brakes...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 20 April, 2020, 10:01:00 am
That is why, despite (or because of) years of cycling experience, you should always safety check your bike before riding.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 April, 2020, 10:13:27 am
Yep. Once learned, it's learned. By those who survive the lesson.  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 April, 2020, 11:48:02 am
Ive been trying to book a Friday off, as it's my wife's birthday.  Our "MyHRSpace" online system keeps refusing to book it.

It's May 8th, my wife's birthday.

Oh, and the 75th anniversary of VE day (which was when she was 1 year old).

And a Bank Holiday apparently   ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 20 April, 2020, 11:59:57 am
Ws VE Day not the Bank Holiday which was moved from 1st May as that was a teensy tiny bit full on Socialist Internationale Lets Man the Barricades for the Tory Government?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 April, 2020, 12:18:56 pm
Ws VE Day not the Bank Holiday which was moved from 1st May as that was a teensy tiny bit full on Socialist Internationale Lets Man the Barricades for the Tory Government?

No, there was never (well, once before, for the 50th anniversary in 1995) a formal VE day holiday. I know Thatcher disliked the early May BH, as it was introduced (as the first Monday in May) by Labour in 1978, but she never got it moved.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Greenbank on 20 April, 2020, 12:24:21 pm
That is why, despite (or because of) years of cycling experience, you should always safety check your bike before riding.

The free cycle training that the local council offered used the "ABCD" mnemonic:-

Air (check the tyres)
Brakes (Try both brakes before starting)
Chain (check the chain is sufficiently lubricated)
Dangly bits (check that luggage/jackets/etc are secured and nothing can fall into the wheel)

All of that can be checked in under 30 seconds before setting off each time and it doesn't take too many times doing it before it becomes habit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 20 April, 2020, 08:36:40 pm
So Saturday cos it was my birthday I treated myself to an hour in the shed fettling bikes. Not that she understands them but the wife's gears needed attention. Being a lady bike I had to extend the seat post to put it in the work stand. Gears work perfectly now.... She couldn't get on the bike today and thought I had done it deliberately as I think she had the saddle down too low (she does)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 29 April, 2020, 08:09:23 am
Nearly me again. Rescued a BMX from work skip to hopefully fix for neighbour. It's very rusty and tyres flat. Took into workshop at work and pumped tyres. Thought I'll ride it back to my office. Now not sure why but the back wheel is pretty seized and chains also pretty solid. This had the effect of making the bike effectively a fixed wheel so when I stopped outside my office it didn't and nearly had me off
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 30 April, 2020, 06:59:36 pm
Measure twice, cut once.

Idiot boy should be made to write this out one hundred times. Fabricating a pair of feet, this is what happens when you clamp the workpiece into the mitre saw the wrong way round.

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49838228666_4547c61ce3_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iW2X3A)
Measure twice, cut once. (https://flic.kr/p/2iW2X3A) by Ron Lowe (https://www.flickr.com/photos/62966413@N04/), on Flickr
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 April, 2020, 07:37:36 pm
it would still work as a foot thobut
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 30 April, 2020, 07:50:45 pm
It could be a Design Statement!

But, as can be seen in the pic, I already made a new one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 01 May, 2020, 02:28:43 pm
. . . . . I have a cordless brad gun (a.k.a. a nail gun) - today I was completing some slide-out pan drawers for a kitchen cabinet and thought - I'll nail the back rail on rather than screwing and gluing as the rest of the tray.   

Brad gun in hand, ready to fire ... nothing on the trigger, checked the switches/safety etc - fine - tried again - still no go.  Lightbulb moment: battery was still in the case . . . the tool is designed to be stored in the case without the battery to avoid accidental discharge.  Doh.

Rob
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 01 May, 2020, 04:27:34 pm
Phew, I read the first line and thought "Oh no!"
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: robgul on 01 May, 2020, 05:18:25 pm
Phew, I read the first line and thought "Oh no!"

In similar vein I always worry when I see people (usually in the US) on YouTube with a table saw running an un-guarded blade - and pushing wood through without a push-stick  :hand:
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 01 May, 2020, 07:11:42 pm
Phew, I read the first line and thought "Oh no!"
Me too.  I was already going faint and clammy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 01 May, 2020, 07:57:15 pm
Anything starting "I have a nail gun" fills me with a Doctor Who 1970's watching through my fingers kind of dread
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 01 May, 2020, 08:10:47 pm
I raise you the nail gun. If the search function worked on this site you'd find the story of the time I quad-biked drunk through the woods while firing an AR-15.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 01 May, 2020, 08:37:10 pm
I don't remember that story. But I must find it!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: ian on 01 May, 2020, 09:50:50 pm
I don't remember that story. But I must find it!

Search worked this time (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=90159.msg1929527#msg1929527).

I don't think I was actually on the quad bike, but my memory of that evening is more than a bit frothy. I remember Mary Lou though. Lots. And I'm not joking, she really did show me where the Walton's lived.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 01 May, 2020, 11:12:41 pm

In normal times you could put it in a jar of rice and hope.  However, these days getting hold of rice is a bit of a challenge.

A year or more ago I found a bag of rice in the back of the cupboard with a date even more years further in the past. Realising it's utility in drying stuff, I left it there. A housemate when here recently found it, and binned it as being out of date. Which was a tad annoying.

Fortunately a friend gave me a bag of rice in a care package. But still annoying waste...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 02 May, 2020, 06:04:08 pm
So I decided to wash the bird feeders in the dishwasher, on a hot wash. “They won’t melt will they” says my wife. “No” says I. And they don’t. But they do get hit enough to distort if you’ve propped them at an angle, and that’s how they stay when they cool down  ::-) ::-). That’s £100 worth of ruined feeders  :-\
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 02 May, 2020, 06:24:10 pm
Try washing them again, not at an angle?
Not as if you have anything to lose now...
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 02 May, 2020, 06:31:57 pm
Do they not work now, surely birds use wonky branches all the time? You could get some cheap ones, make a batch and sell them :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 02 May, 2020, 07:16:59 pm
They’re the squirrel proof ones, the outer metal screen slides (or used to) over the plastic inner. The inner is now oval rather than round, and the centre spindle is offset by 10mm or so.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 May, 2020, 07:14:08 pm
No, Mr L, tonight's TV news was not truncated because today is a bank holiday.  Because today is not even a Monday :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 May, 2020, 07:25:32 pm
And the Bank Holiday is not till Friday, anyway...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 May, 2020, 09:47:43 am
And the Bank Holiday is not till Friday, anyway...

A fact I only learned on Friday evening.

I will protest by working at a minimal pace today.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 04 May, 2020, 10:08:58 am
You may have to change your "presence" status to say this, or people may not notice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 May, 2020, 11:02:02 am
Indeed.

Currently running a python script and drinking coffee while reading a paper about a meta-evaluation of reassessment practices across Europe.

My god, I'm inadvertently multitasking.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 04 May, 2020, 11:08:50 am
My Nephew and his girlfriend had their wedding planned for May 2nd on the basis that today would be a bank holiday and everyone would have an extra day to recover. Then they changed the date of the bank holiday >:( and now it doesn't matter anyway.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 May, 2020, 07:34:46 pm
And the Bank Holiday is not till Friday, anyway...

"Brian May Day" according to my Abandoned Mattresses of Walthamstow calendar ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 May, 2020, 09:58:30 pm
And the Bank Holiday is not till Friday, anyway...

"Brian May Day" according to my Abandoned Mattresses of Walthamstow calendar ;D

I assume that's traditionally celebrated with a morning of badger-saving, followed by a hair & guitar concert in the afternoon, before settling in for an evening of swearing at clouds astrononononomy?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 05 May, 2020, 08:00:17 pm


Last week I tweeted about cooking Coq au Vin, which due to the way autocarrot works on my phone, it got changed to Cow au vin, which got me a few people sending me tweets that surely cow au vin is just Beef bourguignon.

Having made a delicious coq au vin, I decided that seeing as Beef bourguignon sounded like it might be tasty, I should cook that next. So I went to the supermarket, with a list, and bought everything I needed, apart from one small crucial ingredient, the beef.

I tweeted about this earlier, which has resulted in a number of people responding with guesses at the missing ingredient, meaning I have a mix of tweets that say "moooo", and the rest say "cow", which if you forget about the previous tweet just looks like a group of people calling me a cow...

I'm doing well this week...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 May, 2020, 01:40:01 am
It took me two readings of Neal Stephenson's Reamde AND 53% of the sequel Fall or Dodge In Hell before I worked out that Richard "Dodge" Forthrast's in-game/afterlife alter ego is called "Egdod" because it's his nickname spelled backwards :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 May, 2020, 08:09:12 am
It took me two readings of Neal Stephenson's Reamde AND 53% of the sequel Fall or Dodge In Hell before I worked out that Richard "Dodge" Forthrast's in-game/afterlife alter ego is called "Egdod" because it's his nickname spelled backwards :facepalm:
I’ve only read1 Reamde and didn’t know that there was a sequel, I must look. I haven’t seen that either.

1. But it occurs to me that I ‘read’ that story on Audible so won’t have seen Egdod written down. Not that I’d have noticed even then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 May, 2020, 11:53:46 am
And the Bank Holiday is not till Friday, anyway...

"Brian May Day" according to my Abandoned Mattresses of Walthamstow calendar ;D

I assume that's traditionally celebrated with a morning of badger-saving, followed by a hair & guitar concert in the afternoon, before settling in for an evening of swearing at clouds astrononononomy?

Apparently not: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/brian-may-hospital-gardening-accident-queen-instagram-a9504956.html

I assume the badgers got him...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 May, 2020, 12:50:08 pm
Isn't it drummers who are supposed to have bizarre gardening accidents?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 08 May, 2020, 02:43:14 pm
Wasn't it World Naked Gardening Day recently?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 08 May, 2020, 02:46:09 pm
Wasn't it World Naked Gardening Day recently?

Saturday...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 08 May, 2020, 07:17:20 pm
Atishoo!      I should have dusted before I turned that fan on.......  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 May, 2020, 07:58:47 am
If your other half asks you to sharpen the edging shears.
If you say yes and think this will be a good way to test that new Trend diamond file Amazon delivered earlier in the week.
Its probably not a good idea to run you finger along the edge you just filed to see if its sharp now.
If perchance you do not follow this advice you better have some plasters to hand in the garage.

Diamond files make stuff very sharp very quickly !!

DAMHIKT
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 May, 2020, 02:09:13 pm
Oops
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 May, 2020, 02:16:59 pm
Ooh I want one of these now.
https://www.trenddirectuk.com/fts-ks-fast-track-knife-sharpener-kit

I only have a steel at the moment..
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 09 May, 2020, 02:37:25 pm
Its probably not a good idea to run you ringer along the edge you just filed to see if its sharp now.
If perchance you do not follow this advice you better have some plasters to hand in the garage.
Diamond files make stuff very sharp very quickly !!

My Daddy tells me Rabbis performing Tasks with Blades tested them on fingernails...

Suspect thumbnails were used more as these are thicker and more easily aligned to a blade.

Seems wise...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 09 May, 2020, 03:40:31 pm
If your other half asks you to sharpen the edging shears.
If you say yes and think this will be a good way to test that new Trend diamond file Amazon delivered earlier in the week.
Its probably not a good idea to run you ringer along the edge you just filed to see if its sharp now.
If perchance you do not follow this advice you better have some plasters to hand in the garage.

Diamond files make stuff very sharp very quickly !!

DAMHIKT

I have first hand experience of this, specifically my left hand, shall I show you the scars? :p

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 10 May, 2020, 02:15:54 am
Food cans at this address are far more likely to cause me a cut than any knife...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 May, 2020, 08:03:51 am
Paul Sellers: https://youtu.be/KD8BVZ15C6E

Did this with MrsT's shears, which she leaves outside on an old barbecue all year round.  It worked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 10 May, 2020, 10:27:21 am
Its probably not a good idea to run you ringer along the edge you just filed to see if its sharp now.
If perchance you do not follow this advice you better have some plasters to hand in the garage.
Diamond files make stuff very sharp very quickly !!

My Daddy tells me Rabbis performing Tasks with Blades tested them on fingernails...

Suspect thumbnails were used more as these are thicker and more easily aligned to a blade.

Seems wise...
This is a standard test when sharpening straightrazors. Very very lightly drag blade across nail; it should 'grab' all the way. Any blunt spots are felt as a change of resistance.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 10 May, 2020, 11:09:27 am
Paul Sellers: https://youtu.be/KD8BVZ15C6E

Did this with MrsT's shears, which she leaves outside on an old barbecue all year round.  It worked.

Yes it was Mr Sellers who persuaded me to buy a diamond file.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 10 May, 2020, 11:48:22 am
Ooh I want one of these now.
https://www.trenddirectuk.com/fts-ks-fast-track-knife-sharpener-kit

I only have a steel at the moment..
You'll be better off with a couple of Japanese water stones and a leather strop.
In that 'sharpness' demonstration at the end of the video, they're cutting through what is quite a rigid/thick piece of card - which isn't difficult to do.
When I've sharpened my main knife using the above kit, it's sharp enough to do that using a piece of newspaper.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 10 May, 2020, 11:57:08 am
How does a neophyte learn to use a water stone properly? Any good resources on you tube? (There are loads but what's good?)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 10 May, 2020, 12:28:17 pm
How does a neophyte learn to use a water stone properly? Any good resources on you tube? (There are loads but what's good?)

Assuming you mean japanese water stone for knife sharpening? Try the Ray Mears videos.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 10 May, 2020, 02:11:41 pm
I attended a knife sharpening class here (https://blenheimforge.co.uk) in January, and thought it was pretty good.

I've just watched this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fxL8v2dMho) and I'd say that it's a bit more comprehensive than my class was. I'd recommend it, he explains the technique well. The bit where he uses pennies to achieve the correct angle is especially useful.

The kit I use is this (https://www.axminstertools.com/ice-bear-waterstone-sharpening-kit-810204) plus a leather strop which I bought from here (https://ynrinstruments.co.uk). I've unstitched the strop and mounted the suede and chrome leathers to opposite sides of a piece of 4" x 2"

ETA: My knife sufficiently sharp to halve a cherry tomato without me applying any pressure to the blade.
I give it 2 or 3 passes on the strop pretty much every time I use it. It'll be 3 to 4 weeks before I need to get the stones out again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 11 May, 2020, 09:19:08 am
Be aware though that you can make things too sharp. A very sharp edge is liable to get damaged quite easily.
Very sharp is good for kitchen knives but not so good for a knife you use for opening parcels or camping. There is such a thing as sufficiently sharp.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 11 May, 2020, 09:37:26 am
Be aware though that you can make things too sharp. A very sharp edge is liable to get damaged quite easily.
Very sharp is good for kitchen knives but not so good for a knife you use for opening parcels or camping. There is such a thing as sufficiently sharp.

It depends a lot on the quality of the steel.

But it's a good idea to keep tools that cut paper/cardboard separate to others.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 11 May, 2020, 01:26:26 pm
And if you use nurse's scissors for stripping wire, you'll have some poorly stripped wire and a very angry nurse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 11 May, 2020, 01:39:49 pm
Ah the satisfying click of everything slotting correctly into place as you squeeze the handles of a good quality RJ45 crimp tool.  Less satisfying is the realisation that the snagless boot is still in the component drawer behind you.  Distinctly irritating is experiencing the latter twice in one day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 11 May, 2020, 01:46:36 pm
talking of crimping tools, I've just inherited a toolbox with two of these  (https://uk.rs-online.com/web/p/crimp-tools/0456447/?relevancy-data=636F3D3126696E3D4931384E525353746F636B4E756D626572266C753D656E266D6D3D6D61746368616C6C26706D3D5E2828282872737C5253295B205D3F293F285C647B337D5B5C2D5C735D3F5C647B332C347D5B705061415D3F29297C283235285C647B387D7C5C647B317D5C2D5C647B377D2929292426706F3D3126736E3D592673723D2673743D52535F53544F434B5F4E554D4245522677633D4E4F4E45267573743D3435362D343437267374613D3034353634343726&searchHistory=%7B%22enabled%22%3Atrue%7D)in it.
I wondered what they were fror until I gewgalled the part number.
£70+ each :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 11 May, 2020, 01:52:30 pm
talking of crimping tools, I've just inherited a toolbox with two of these  (https://uk.rs-online.com/web/p/crimp-tools/0456447/?relevancy-data=636F3D3126696E3D4931384E525353746F636B4E756D626572266C753D656E266D6D3D6D61746368616C6C26706D3D5E2828282872737C5253295B205D3F293F285C647B337D5B5C2D5C735D3F5C647B332C347D5B705061415D3F29297C283235285C647B387D7C5C647B317D5C2D5C647B377D2929292426706F3D3126736E3D592673723D2673743D52535F53544F434B5F4E554D4245522677633D4E4F4E45267573743D3435362D343437267374613D3034353634343726&searchHistory=%7B%22enabled%22%3Atrue%7D)in it.
I wondered what they were fror until I gewgalled the part number.
£70+ each :o

That's relatively cheap by the standards of crimping tools.  More fiddly connectors tend to have tools that are either crap or $BloodyHellHowMuch?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 11 May, 2020, 01:59:20 pm
Me, to him, "Where's the bread?"
Him, "I don't know, where is it?"
We are both Puzzled.
"Try the fridge," I say.
There's the bread.

We don't know who put it in there. Thankfully it didn't go too hard, it was Nice Bread.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 May, 2020, 03:29:39 pm
I have just knocked myself on the head. Using mitre saw to trim the corners off a small block I want to turn: no way to clamp it so hold it by hand; blade pulls down more strongly than I can hold, block cants into the blade; next thing is a fearful crack echoing through my head then pain and blood.  Now have a lump & a plaster on noggin. All fingers still present. Kinda shaky, nice cup of tea.

Found block hiding behind saw, all chewed up. Arse. Bandsaw next time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 May, 2020, 03:56:36 pm
Ah the satisfying click of everything slotting correctly into place as you squeeze the handles of a good quality RJ45 crimp tool.  Less satisfying is the realisation that the snagless boot is still in the component drawer behind you.  Distinctly irritating is experiencing the latter twice in one day.
When I was an apprentice telephone man the gang I was with got called to help another gang who were ‘pulling in’1 a big expensive  coaxial trunk cable. It was practice with BECTCs to pull half of it in one way, take the rest of the drum and pull that in the other way because BECTCs are HEAVY and not only does half have less than half the friction, there’s also less chance of it stretching, something to be avoided with paper insulated BECTC because it can affect their transmission characteristics. So the gang doing the job had laid out the second half in the approved flaked pattern and the gang leader had gone with the truck and winch to the pulling out end. Here things become less clear because the gang junior says he asked their apprentice to pass him the end, and the apprentice swears blind he was only watching. Regardless, the gang junior duly fastened the pulling tackle to the end of the cable and fed it into duct. With less than a few yards to go, ie well into the last loop, it was discovered that the lamp post near to the carriageway box was looped by the cable. Much cursing ensued, caps were wrung and feet shuffled. The Inspector was called and a Simon platform called for. That’s when they realised just how much trouble they were in as there wasn’t enough cable loose to go over the street lamp.

1. It used to be that telephone cables were pulled into ducts by draw ropes that were usually left in situ. The underground gangs had some of the dimmer end of the spectrum of employees, and they tended to think us apprentices were a bit ‘posh’. We only spent the first six months with the external teams to gain an appreciation of the network, but it was quite an eye opener for us mostly ‘grammar school boys‘ in more ways than one  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 21 May, 2020, 03:59:02 pm
I have just knocked myself on the head. Using mitre saw to trim the corners off a small block I want to turn: no way to clamp it so hold it by hand; blade pulls down more strongly than I can hold, block cants into the blade; next thing is a fearful crack echoing through my head then pain and blood.  Now have a lump & a plaster on noggin. All fingers still present. Kinda shaky, nice cup of tea.

Found block hiding behind saw, all chewed up. Arse. Bandsaw next time.

You know, this is the sort of story that just demands pictures of the injury as proof :p

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 21 May, 2020, 04:17:55 pm
I have just knocked myself on the head. Using mitre saw to trim the corners off a small block I want to turn: no way to clamp it so hold it by hand; blade pulls down more strongly than I can hold, block cants into the blade; next thing is a fearful crack echoing through my head then pain and blood.  Now have a lump & a plaster on noggin. All fingers still present. Kinda shaky, nice cup of tea.

Found block hiding behind saw, all chewed up. Arse. Bandsaw next time.

You know, this is the sort of story that just demands pictures of the injury as proof :p

J


We do have an injuries thread, https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19419.0    but it's cycling only.     Perhaps we should start another. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 21 May, 2020, 04:31:36 pm
I have just knocked myself on the head. Using mitre saw to trim the corners off a small block I want to turn: no way to clamp it so hold it by hand; blade pulls down more strongly than I can hold, block cants into the blade; next thing is a fearful crack echoing through my head then pain and blood.  Now have a lump & a plaster on noggin. All fingers still present. Kinda shaky, nice cup of tea.

Found block hiding behind saw, all chewed up. Arse. Bandsaw next time.
I was going all clammy and sweaty well before I read to the end.  Phew, I was expecting the worst........  I need a cup of tea and a biscuit now....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 21 May, 2020, 04:34:35 pm

We do have an injuries thread, https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19419.0    but it's cycling only.     Perhaps we should start another.

We'd have to set a threshold for injury, else I'd just be flooding it with wounds... I seem to have far to higher frequency of wounds...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 May, 2020, 04:47:40 pm
I have just knocked myself on the head. Using mitre saw to trim the corners off a small block I want to turn: no way to clamp it so hold it by hand; blade pulls down more strongly than I can hold, block cants into the blade; next thing is a fearful crack echoing through my head then pain and blood.  Now have a lump & a plaster on noggin. All fingers still present. Kinda shaky, nice cup of tea.

Found block hiding behind saw, all chewed up. Arse. Bandsaw next time.

You know, this is the sort of story that just demands pictures of the injury as proof :p

J

Nothing much to see: bald head, small (but perfectly formed) lump, plaster on same with spot of blood in middle.  Head still hurts but I can't photograph that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 21 May, 2020, 04:49:11 pm

We do have an injuries thread, https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19419.0 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19419.0)    but it's cycling only.     Perhaps we should start another.

We'd have to set a threshold for injury, else I'd just be flooding it with wounds... I seem to have far to higher frequency of wounds...

J


That job as a knife throwers assistant not working out then ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 21 May, 2020, 05:06:26 pm

That job as a knife throwers assistant not working out then ?

I have first hand experience of how not to use a number of tools. Specifically my left hand...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: graculus on 21 May, 2020, 05:36:58 pm
That job as a knife throwers assistant not working out then ?
https://www.monologues.co.uk/Les_Barker/Cosmo_the_Knife.htm (https://www.monologues.co.uk/Les_Barker/Cosmo_the_Knife.htm)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 May, 2020, 07:27:30 pm

We do have an injuries thread, https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19419.0    but it's cycling only.     Perhaps we should start another.

We'd have to set a threshold for injury, else I'd just be flooding it with wounds... I seem to have far to higher frequency of wounds...

J

That would mean I could offer up my most recent tree-related wound
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 21 May, 2020, 09:23:49 pm

That would mean I could offer up my most recent tree-related wound

I have a scar on my left arm. The wound in question happened when I was walking through the woods, and came to a sudden arboreal halt...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 21 May, 2020, 09:42:08 pm
I'll start with the caveat that I'm rather tired both physically and apparently mentally having worked through the whole of lock down. Supported my wife who has been doing a great job home schooling and alternating running and allotment trips before work

The eldest monkeys front v brake broke. It was the bit the curved nodule locates in. No worries thinks me as got some sspare brakes in shed. Find one with no pads and the aforementioned bit which I thinks called the cable bridge pointing opposite direction. Bugger thinks me thats going to need me to re route the cables. Didn't even realise there are options. There aren't. It then dawned on me the cable bridge was actually just flipped over so would be pointing outwards if fitted. Put the brakes on and while struggling to get rhe cable through the clamp hole realised it would be a lot easier if the cable guide wasn't already in the cable bridge.

Sacked off tomorrow's early run for an extra hour in bed
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 22 May, 2020, 09:22:38 am
Mrs Ham come up all excited - "just seen on Facebook, they're selling the sandals you use cheap - here's the website" Sure enough , €20 instead of €120. Excitement excitement. And they have my size in stock, most sizes apparently. And a pair of hiking shoes for Mrs Ham. That's exciting. Payment.......No PayPal? Ah well, Card......payment fail

Feckity Feckity feck feck

Anyone watching carefully will have noticed a few red flags. 

Oh well. Card stopped within minutes.

The scam website is eccoeustore.com
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 May, 2020, 09:56:18 am
I nearly fell for a similar scam a couple of years back - eBike for 250€.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 22 May, 2020, 10:08:27 am
Mrs Ham come up all excited - "just seen on Facebook, they're selling the sandals you use cheap - here's the website" Sure enough , €20 instead of €120. Excitement excitement. And they have my size in stock, most sizes apparently. And a pair of hiking shoes for Mrs Ham. That's exciting. Payment.......No PayPal? Ah well, Card......payment fail

Feckity Feckity feck feck

Anyone watching carefully will have noticed a few red flags. 

Oh well. Card stopped within minutes.

The scam website is eccoeustore.com

Didn't someone else fall for exactly the same site and document it here? Maybe I imagined it.

The true mistake is sandals, of course, I hate feet. And toes, oh god, toes. I can't look at bare feet without feeling icky. I fear summer and the season of the feet. Winter is fine, those feet and their ten malformed terrors are securely ensconced in boots and sensible footwear. Then the sun comes out and the horror is unleashed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 May, 2020, 10:18:39 am
Mrs Ham come up all excited - "just seen on Facebook, they're selling the sandals you use cheap - here's the website" Sure enough , €20 instead of €120. Excitement excitement. And they have my size in stock, most sizes apparently. And a pair of hiking shoes for Mrs Ham. That's exciting. Payment.......No PayPal? Ah well, Card......payment fail

Feckity Feckity feck feck

Anyone watching carefully will have noticed a few red flags. 

Oh well. Card stopped within minutes.

The scam website is eccoeustore.com

Didn't someone else fall for exactly the same site and document it here? Maybe I imagined it.

The true mistake is sandals, of course, I hate feet. And toes, oh god, toes. I can't look at bare feet without feeling icky. I fear summer and the season of the feet. Winter is fine, those feet and their ten malformed terrors are securely ensconced in boots and sensible footwear. Then the sun comes out and the horror is unleashed.

Any time the boots come off the horror is unleashed. And the dog rolls on the socks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 22 May, 2020, 10:20:13 am
Didn't someone else fall for exactly the same site and document it here? Maybe I imagined it.


Might well have done. Given the way I rode roughshod over everything I know, I wasn't about to remember a simple direct warning, was I?

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 22 May, 2020, 10:21:59 am
Didn't someone else fall for exactly the same site and document it here? Maybe I imagined it.


Might well have done. Given the way I rode roughshod over everything I know, I wasn't about to remember a simple direct warning, was I?

I was wondering if it was you and you've in fact lost your mind.

If you put your credit card details here between the lines

------------------

------------------

we will keep them secure for you.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 22 May, 2020, 10:53:03 am

I was wondering if it was you and you've in fact lost your mind.

I'm sorry, are you questioning the validity of my season ticket to this thread?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 22 May, 2020, 01:40:22 pm

In .NL the most payment cards issued use either vpay or maestro, meaning they can't be used for online payments. They also have no buyer protection when used in bricks and mortar stores.

To get round the fact they don't work online, there is a payment system called iDeal, which is basically a wrapper for a simple bank transfer.

A family member of a friend the other day placed an order for something on a website, paid the €50 with iDeal, and then slowly over the course of a few days, realised that they had been scammed. They called the police, who recorded it as a crime. They then contacted their bank and told them, expecting the bank to sort it out. The bank then told them in no certain terms "Not our problem, goodbye".

The same family had been telling me that maestro/vpay/iDeal is much better than using a creditcard, or even a UK style debit card which works online. Hard not to say I told you so...

That said, I placed an order for some Hydroponics nutrient recently, paid with paypal. Then got notified it was out of stock, and got a credit invoice. I phoned them asking about the refund. They said they would, then I haven't heard from them. I have opened a dispute with paypal. I am now waiting to see what paypal say about it. If paypal don't, then it also went to my credit card, so I'll talk to the bank then.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 22 May, 2020, 03:00:23 pm
I've literally spent years looking for the V5C for my car after noting its absence from the Desk Drawer Of Important Documents.

Been digging through boxes of old paperwork, behind furniture, tearing the place apart, anywhere it might be.

Today I found it.

In the Desk Drawer Of Important Documents.

In an envelope!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 22 May, 2020, 03:44:25 pm
I've literally spent years looking for the V5C for my car after noting its absence from the Desk Drawer Of Important Documents.

Been digging through boxes of old paperwork, behind furniture, tearing the place apart, anywhere it might be.

Today I found it.

In the Desk Drawer Of Important Documents.

In an envelope!

I have a Desk Drawer of Important Documents.  In my study. It's very useful, in so much that,  if I am looking for an Important Document, I know it definitely won't be in there, so that cuts down the number of places I need to look.
If only the same applied to the Kitchen Drawer of Horror, where anything shall be stuffed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 22 May, 2020, 08:37:19 pm
In an attempt to increase the speed of my fathers ageing iMac I persuaded him to buy an SSD.  What he ordered appears to be a hybrid.  I had this in my external caddy to clone his existing drive across, caught the cable & sent it hurtling to the floor.  It now appears to be an ex drive.   Disk Utility says it's OK , but I can't write anything to it  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 23 May, 2020, 06:36:12 am
Would post this in the rant thread but have to admit it's kind of my fault...

Just noticed a charge on my credit card for a £95 annual subscription to dropbox.

Hang on one cotton-pickin' minute, didn't you feckers email me just a couple of weeks ago to say you were closing my account?

<checks>

Oh, that account, not this one...  :facepalm:

Have grinked dropbox customer services (despite them trying to hide the link, I managed to find it). Let's see how reasonable they're feeling... have recently had success in demanding a refund on an unwanted autorenewal.

Trouble is I received two emails close together with the same subject line, and I only opened one of them - which was the one relating to the account they were closing. Didn't occur to me that the other email might relate to a different account. I didn't even know I had two dropbox accounts.

However, when I logged in, I saw a notification that my credit card details had expired - and yet they've charged me anyway? That doesn't sound right. They shouldn't be able to do that, surely?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 May, 2020, 04:46:05 pm
Have grinked dropbox customer services (despite them trying to hide the link, I managed to find it). Let's see how reasonable they're feeling... have recently had success in demanding a refund on an unwanted autorenewal.

Follow up: they replied promptly and issued the refund, no questions asked. Actually pretty impressed with the customer service.

(Makes note to check through bank statements for other recurring payments that might be due soon to avoid future divvery...)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 24 May, 2020, 08:52:57 pm
Stay Alert!  Especially when picking your back teeth with a Swiss Army Knife.  Hint: using the steel tweezers instead of the plastic toothpick is an uncomfortable experience  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 25 May, 2020, 04:04:36 pm
Rounded the bleed port screw on my rear brake lever.  >:(  :facepalm:

So very glad I avoided doing the same to the front brake - doubly so because that was in urgent need of attention. At least the rear brake will be OK for now. Just need to order a replacement and then work out how to get the duff screw out...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 May, 2020, 08:34:27 am
Quite pleased with the new plane handle I shaped recently. Last night I gave it a coat of gun-stock oil, turning it lovingly in my hands and oh bugger what's this? A fine pencil-line running top to bottom, now permanently beneath the oil. :facepalm:

MrsT: Well only you will know it's there
Me: Only me matters.

Maybe it'll disappear with another N coats, 0<N<∞.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 May, 2020, 08:40:30 am
And WTF, let's compound the foolany.  Before lockdown I was swapping chain lube from oil- to wax-based, and had certainly done the brand-new Ultegra chain that isn't on the bike yet.  And I know I had taken the current chain off and given it a good cleaning.

What I can't remember is what kind of lube is on it now, and four rides after lockdown ended it's looking pretty dry...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 31 May, 2020, 04:34:41 pm
Gather round, gather round, masterclass in thread content to be delivered.

Here's how you could do it yourself.

Visit B&Q for a "Click & Collect" collection. Discover that actually it was a "B&" (queueless), rejoice in the fact and decide to get the few bits you've got on your "to buy" list. Find everything, hurrah! including the 2.4m of 1.5"x1.5" PAR. Step forward to the till, smile cheerfully at the assistant and thrust the timber forrard' for scanning. Consider that the total is high, but you know you have a tin of hammerite for which you don't know the price, plus some other stuffs, so think nothing of it.

Until that is you get home, when you see that you offered up the label for a pack of 4, not the single item.


Do It To Yourself.....

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 01 June, 2020, 11:43:54 am
When looking at the bottom of a coffee jar to check the best before date it's a good idea to make sure you've screwed the lid on.

This was a free public service announcement.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 01 June, 2020, 12:12:34 pm
I have managed to burn my belly button.
Being topless whilst I remove a baking tray heated to Gas Mark 7, from the oven, was not the smartest of ideas.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 01 June, 2020, 12:27:21 pm
On the subject of nudity, part or total, once upon a time, many years ago, an, erm, friend of mine decided to tidy the rather unruly fields down below using an electric trimmer. That went well until encountering one of the more furrowed fields and getting a bit too close.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 01 June, 2020, 02:17:26 pm
On the subject of nudity, part or total, once upon a time, many years ago, an, erm, friend of mine decided to tidy the rather unruly fields down below using an electric trimmer. That went well until encountering one of the more furrowed fields and getting a bit too close.

Mr. Foreskin meet Mr. Zip. Oh I see that you two have already met. Parting can be painful.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 01 June, 2020, 02:58:39 pm
It was a different field allegedly, but from such a small nick, much blood is issued.

Of course, to avoid looking like you have Leo Sayer held hostage in your Speedos, it's probably worth it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 01 June, 2020, 07:19:31 pm
It was a different field allegedly, but from such a small nick, much blood is issued.

Of course, to avoid looking like you have Leo Sayer held hostage in your Speedos, it's probably worth it.

A mental image that will never leave me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 01 June, 2020, 07:55:40 pm
Better Buster Bloodvessel than Leo Sayer?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 01 June, 2020, 08:29:58 pm
I don't think anyone wants to see an epic 70s style pube perm that looks like someone has electrocuted a poodle framing their budgie smuggling operation. It's certainly not something I want to see. Pubes, to be honest, are up there with toes on my gross-o-meter. And that stuff that grows out of blokes' ears.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 10 June, 2020, 06:59:46 am
Y'know, it makes sense to get the best value from a season ticket, like mine to this thread.

I'm getting reasonably OK at mig welding, at least I can mostly tell why the weld looks manky, so it has to be time to try a bit of stick welding (also as I need to do some outside stuff).  Now, I bought me a pack of electrodes a while back, only I haven't been able to find them for months. Ah! look! on the bottom of the trolley. Odd, there's no bare metal to stick in the stick holder. Never mind, scrape off some flux and spend some time wondering just why I can't get anything that looks like a weld. I can punch a hole in 3mm sheet. I can get spatter like you've not seen. But weld? nah.

On the positive side I have now added to the sum of my knowledge that you cannot weld with brazing rods. Also, remembering that an unmarked packet contains brazing rods is not a given, even if they are stored next to other marked brazing rod packets.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 24 June, 2020, 11:11:25 am
A bit of minor divvery

I’ve just received a new bright head torch in the post. Being a techie, I threw the instructions out with the packaging. There are two buttons to control it and neither seemed to be doing much, so of course I looked at the front of the torch to see what was going on. I timed it perfectly, looking at the led at exactly the same moment that my random pressing of the two buttons successfully allowed the electrons to flow. I’m currently typing this with one eye closed...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 June, 2020, 08:33:07 am
On Friday I needed to split a frozen rack of marinated spare ribs in two.  I had a look at the concave side to get the lie of the ribs, then flipped it and scored it with my wee boning knife through the thick marinade on the convex side. I then thought that a good whack on a right-angled edge would break the rack through along the line of the score.

The working surface's edge wasn't sharp enough, so I hung a teak chopping-board over the edge and used that.  However, when the ribs lie NW-SE and you flip them over they then lie SW-NE, and that's the way I didn't score them.

I'll be heading over to the workshop presently to glue the board back together.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 28 June, 2020, 01:10:49 pm
I'll be heading over to the workshop presently to glue the board back together.
That's a relief, I was envisaging the recounting of a trip to the local A&E to have fingers re-attached....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 June, 2020, 03:35:16 pm
I'll be heading over to the workshop presently to glue the board back together.
That's a relief, I was envisaging the recounting of a trip to the local A&E to have fingers re-attached....

At the risk of tempting fate, the last time I maimed myself was in 1991 when the 2-franc trimming-knife I was stripping a wire with slipped and impaled my wrist, just grazing a tendon.  Lots of blood and off to Urgences, where I got to watch while a surgeon opened up my wrist, like that bit in Terminator, and checked all the bits before stitching up the outside.  I rather enjoyed it until the anaesthetic wore off. Still have the knife, too.

Tetanus booster due next year, come to think of it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Arminius on 05 July, 2020, 08:15:02 pm
I have a track record of doing things without thinking, and then realising it was stupid. Here's the most recent instalment:

Having attached some Xpedo cxr pedal bodies to the Favero Assioma spindles to get a pair of SPD-ready power pedals, I then clipped one of my shoes onto one of the pedals to see if I needed to trim away any of the grips on the sole of the shoe so that I could pedal and clip in & out without bashing the pod.

Sadly, I attached the right shoe to the left pedal*, backwards, and the pedal will not disengage from the pedal! Aaargh! Does anyone have any idea how I can sort this? I would rather not damage the pedal body, but I can't access the Allen key heads to remove the cleat from the shoe. The only options I can think of are trying to grind the cleat somehow (dremel?) or perhaps drill out the cleat bolts from the inside of the shoe (though the footbed is stuck fast).

* I should perhaps point out that the pedal wasn't attached to the bike. Even I'm not that stupid.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 July, 2020, 08:23:57 pm
Attach the pedal to the bike and see if that gains you enough leverage?

I'm not sure how an SPD engages backwards, but you're probably left with trying to somehow prise open the spring of the mechanism.  Flathead screwdriver?  Get some string around it?  That sort of thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Arminius on 05 July, 2020, 08:30:50 pm
Attach the pedal to the bike and see if that gains you enough leverage?

I'm not sure how an SPD engages backwards, but you're probably left with trying to somehow prise open the spring of the mechanism.  Flathead screwdriver?  Get some string around it?  That sort of thing.

Ooh, you were so close to winning the undisclosed prize. If only you'd had the courage of your convictions.

Panic over - I attached the pedal to the bike and that gave me enough leverage.  ;D

I'm not sure how it engaged backwards either. It slotted in quite nicely, though.

Right, I'm off to attach them to the bike so I don't do anything else stupid with them...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 05 July, 2020, 08:38:30 pm
We had similar on an FNRTTC once. Someone lost as cleat bolt so were unable to unclip. After a bit of milling around on the edges of Horley, Leggy managed to get the message to me what the problem was, partly using words and partly through the medium of interpretive dance of a rider hopping around with their shoe still attached to the pedal. Fortunately I'd fixed the same problem just a week or two before and pinged it free using a 15mm spanner as a lever. Happy days.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 July, 2020, 08:54:40 pm
There was also the one where StuAff had a worn cleat that wouldn't disengage.  He came to a controlled stop and was having little success with wiggling and harsh language, but managed to release it following my suggestion of turning his foot *inwards*.  IIRC he managed like that for the remainder of the ride, rather than attempting to swap the cleats round.

It was quite a confusing failure mode, as there was nothing obvious (at the roadside, in the dark) causing the problem.  No loose bolts, and the pedal worked fine with my cleat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 July, 2020, 09:32:07 pm
When I first started using SPDs, I found it much easier to unclip by twisting my foot inwards. I reckon this was partly due to my ankle not liking to twist in only one plane (it wants to move up or down as it twists side to side) and probably exacerbated by having my saddle slightly too high, as well as general stuff. Then I discovered multirelease cleats and since then everything's been happy. Mostly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 July, 2020, 10:47:38 pm
My grate frend Mr Sheen once reported his mate Jamie clipping in bass-ackwards while showing off his l33t riding-a-Perfectly-Good-Gentleman's-Mountain-Bicycle-while-sitting-on-the-handlebars 5k1llz in a pub car park.  Much screwdriverpoken later he was freed.

Then he did it again :facepalm:

They leaned him up against the wall and trooped back inside for another, rather leisurely, pint.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 July, 2020, 11:03:57 pm
When you folks are saying turning your foot inwards. What part of the foot? (Cos the opposite end will go outwards)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 July, 2020, 12:19:48 am
My normal releasing technique is heel outwards.  Heel inwards is trickier, as there tends to be more bike in the way.  Probably moreso if you've got big feet?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 06 July, 2020, 07:20:24 am
My normal releasing technique is heel outwards.
^ What Kim says.  Works for me too. Riding a recumbent you really, really want that foot to release just when you ask it to.......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 July, 2020, 08:38:08 am
Heel outwards is the better way IMO. Heel inwards was the only way I could get it to work when I started with them. Yes, it did occasionally result in heel contacting spokes but never with any damage to spokes or heel. Luckily.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 06 July, 2020, 10:58:02 am
I can do either on the right and neither on the left.  I have to stand on my right foot and twist my body to disengage the left.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 06 July, 2020, 12:26:12 pm
My Time atacs will release both inwards and outwards, only the angle and therefore the strength of release to go inwards is greater. You can actually swap the handed cleats if you want the firmer grip.

and yes I have once had a cleat bolt come out resulting in a shoe that wouldn't disengage. Fortunately it was the right shoe (in both senses) and I habitually stop with my left foot down I had to undo the shoe and remove foot to dismount and investigate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 06 July, 2020, 12:53:11 pm
I had to undo the hoe and remove foot to dismount and investigate.
excellently unfortunate typo!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 06 July, 2020, 01:41:48 pm
My Time atacs will release both inwards and outwards, only the angle and therefore the strength of release to go inwards is greater. You can actually swap the handed cleats if you want the firmer grip.

and yes I have once had a cleat bolt come out resulting in a shoe that wouldn't disengage. Fortunately it was the right shoe (in both senses) and I habitually stop with my left foot down I had to undo the hoe and remove foot to dismount and investigate.

I had the same happen to me when a bolt dropped out of an SPD cleat.  I had to undo my shoe to get off the bike at the pub, and then caused much hilarity amongst the on looking drinkers as I proceeded to beat the shoe off the bike with large log that was to hand.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 06 July, 2020, 01:57:27 pm
My Time atacs will release both inwards and outwards, only the angle and therefore the strength of release to go inwards is greater. You can actually swap the handed cleats if you want the firmer grip.

and yes I have once had a cleat bolt come out resulting in a shoe that wouldn't disengage. Fortunately it was the right shoe (in both senses) and I habitually stop with my left foot down I had to undo the hoe and remove foot to dismount and investigate.

I had the same happen to me when a bolt dropped out of an SPD cleat.  I had to undo my shoe to get off the bike at the pub, and then caused much hilarity amongst the on looking drinkers as I proceeded to beat the shoe off the bike with large log that was to hand.
"What's he doing?"
"Dunno. He just got off the bike and started hitting it with a stick"
"I know just how he feels. My round?"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 06 July, 2020, 03:33:44 pm
Oh yeah that was it. Remember thinking nearly me for this thread over weekend but could t remember what it was

Then remembered. Saturday chucked the eldests bike on roof carrier and youngests bike in boot. Off we went to a disused railway and mini BMX pump track about 20 minutes by car. Normally park at the station or on the road but driving past the green that has the pump track see loads of cars coming out and spy a space. Thankfully I remembered the bike on the roof rack seconds before going under the height barrier. Wife ejected from car to watch and with much laughing from the driver of the car waiting to come out I crept forward to offer it up and no it didn't fit
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 06 July, 2020, 03:34:36 pm
Just discovered I've ordered the wrong components for a circuit board. Write values, wrong size...

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EcP3gwmXYAAsiQN?format=jpg&name=large)

Amazingly I had managed to get the too big cap to fit, but the too big resister is a non starter...

Bugger.

J

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 July, 2020, 09:02:09 pm
Fit it to one pad at 90 degrees to the correct orientation, and jumper the other terminal with bodge-wire?

That's more or less what I did when a current sense resistor turned out to have the contacts on the long edges rather than the short ones.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 07 July, 2020, 04:10:55 pm
Don't bother with the middle pads?  Solder the R&C end to end and the pair to the outermost pads.  Maybe.

Assumes there's no hidden vias, the only visible track just connects the two.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 07 July, 2020, 04:20:05 pm
Scrape some of the solder resist off to make the pads bigger. Won't be pretty, but it'll work.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 07 July, 2020, 04:34:07 pm

Thank you for the suggestions, but given this is a prototype that will be modelled for EMC, I kinda need to use the correct components.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 08 July, 2020, 12:29:59 pm
smacked my knee of the underside of the rung of the ladder today when carrying out gutter inspections, aluminum, so formed and has an edge. I very nearly said norty words, now have a nice little bruise and lump just above my kneecap
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 10 July, 2020, 03:54:49 pm
Now, I like to think of myself as having a reasonable facility in regard with languages. In particular I get names and pronunciation of people's names right. Well, at least I used to.

Following a conversation a few weeks ago, a forumite might question that, when I failed to recognise their name spoken as it should. One (this one) would have hoped that was an isolated incident, not a sign of the march of senility.

Today I was talking to an Italian in a meeting. His name is Michele. I looked, and called him "Michelle" like the english girl. It was only after the call, that I looked at their name and read it properly. The Italian pronunciation should be  Mik'hay-le  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 10 July, 2020, 04:51:44 pm
Pronouncing 'Rochelle' correctly can be interesting in NW London...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 10 July, 2020, 06:39:32 pm
I have been instructed by people in the Vroom group to come here.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 10 July, 2020, 06:48:42 pm
*Snorts!*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 10 July, 2020, 07:24:53 pm
Ah ha, so it does have locks  ;D ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 10 July, 2020, 09:13:27 pm
I checked the logbook, and we bought it in Nov 2006, so I correct myself, it's not just been 12 years.

Anyway, it's my wife's car.

She owes me now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: aidan.f on 15 July, 2020, 10:30:06 am
Overpaid the milkman last week. No cash to hand so BACS. £11.35 lost its d.point! John paid it back promptly. Found out yesterday, whilst paying cash that not the first and not the biggest error... He got 16k once!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 15 July, 2020, 03:22:44 pm
Yesterday
I went to the Chemist to collect a prescription for my mother. Tick.
I also needed a copy of the prescription for a blue badge application. Chemist says no go to surgery. Surgery gives me duplicate prescription.  I lose it walking home. FAIL.
Last night I remember previous case. Fifty years ago I was eight years old.  I was riding to the chip shop. I had list, 10 shilling note and a M&S carrier bag. I was riding on the best bike ever made with objects clamped with my little hand to the handle bars. A gust of wind and the 10 Shilling note blown away. The government noticed my anguish and introduced the 50p coin shortly afterwards.
Today
I went back to the surgery and got another duplicate prescription. Tick 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 16 July, 2020, 02:04:06 pm
Just discovered I've ordered the wrong components for a circuit board. Write values, wrong size...

Amazingly I had managed to get the too big cap to fit, but the too big resister is a non starter...


So I placed another order for the right size parts. I double checked that all parts on the order were the right size.

The package arrived this morning. Yay.

I dig out the parts, and lay them out. I pull out the board and ready assembly.

Right, step one, Cin, that's a 10uF 25v X5R 0805 cap.

*rummage through pile*

Um, it's not here. Check order paperwork. I didn't order it.

Fuck.

Well maybe I can shoe horn the wrong size cap in again for just this part.

*rummages through original order*

It's not here.

I've successfully not ordered the part for Cin *TWICE* now.

I think my brain may be utterly fried :(

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 16 July, 2020, 03:18:45 pm
I think my brain may be utterly fried :(

J
Sympathy, parts procurement is apt to do that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 July, 2020, 03:33:47 pm
Yesterday
I went to the Chemist to collect a prescription for my mother. Tick.
I also needed a copy of the prescription for a blue badge application. Chemist says no go to surgery. Surgery gives me duplicate prescription.  I lose it walking home. FAIL.
Last night I remember previous case. Fifty years ago I was eight years old.  I was riding to the chip shop. I had list, 10 shilling note and a M&S carrier bag. I was riding on the best bike ever made with objects clamped with my little hand to the handle bars. A gust of wind and the 10 Shilling note blown away. The government noticed my anguish and introduced the 50p coin shortly afterwards.
Today
I went back to the surgery and got another duplicate prescription. Tick
Early 90s, I entered a phone box somewhere in Central Londinium to phone my boss, telling him I had successfully devilried the package and would be motorcycling pleasantly back to Bath unless he had further instructions for me. Took out my wallet, looking for phone card (or possibly it was coins) and a gust of wind blew a fiver (or possibly even a tenner) out of the phone box and through the gaps in the anti-personnel railings at the side of the road. On that day, I became an Olympic hurdler.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 20 July, 2020, 10:23:59 am
I bought some Synairgen shares earlier this year and sold them about a month ago for a slight profit.

They've gone from 36p at market close on Friday to 158.5p this morning...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 20 July, 2020, 10:46:30 am
I bought some Synairgen shares earlier this year and sold them about a month ago for a slight profit.

They've gone from 36p at market close on Friday to 158.5p this morning...

Bleedin' Capitalists  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 July, 2020, 06:49:49 pm
While I was undercoating today I thought I would try that top tip of painters which is to put an elastic band across the top of the paint pot to wipe excess paint on instead of round the lip of the tin.
Upon completing the painting, I look askance at the pot and think, better be careful taking that band off or I'll get spattered with paint.
So I tried to careful but of course the pent up tension in the band had other ideas. I think you can guess what happened next.
Physics, Mrs Pingu, physics.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 20 July, 2020, 06:58:03 pm
While I was undercoating today I thought I would try that top tip of painters which is to put an elastic band across the top of the paint pot to wipe excess paint on instead of round the lip of the tin.
Upon completing the painting, I look askance at the pot and think, better be careful taking that band off or I'll get spattered with paint.
So I tried to careful but of course the pent up tension in the band had other ideas. I think you can guess what happened next.
Physics, Mrs Pingu, physics.  :facepalm:
I'd not reached the end your first sentence, when I spotted (no pun intended) where this was going  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 20 July, 2020, 07:53:36 pm
Oh my. Rubber band? instead of that, try some wire, light gauge stuff. Wind around the kettle handle, across to the other side.  You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 July, 2020, 08:02:18 pm
You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.
What do you do when you're finished, just pour it back in?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 20 July, 2020, 09:28:20 pm
Yes. That way the general condition of the paint stays better (especially with things like high VOC eg eggshell, you don't get drippy drippy paint around the can. In between coats, you can pop the kettle in a plastic bag or - if you have a yoghurt pot or the like - put the lid on. Oil based paints, just pop the brush in a cut down bottle with water, water based, roll it in cling film.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 20 July, 2020, 09:48:26 pm
Oh my. Rubber band? instead of that, try some wire, light gauge stuff. Wind around the kettle handle, across to the other side.  You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.

Piece of string across the paint kettle or roller scuttle for me - and my wallpaper pasting bucket has a string too for resting the brush (although I can't remember the last time I papered anything, must be >20 years)

Rob
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 20 July, 2020, 09:58:21 pm
If you have a reel of wire, it is much easier, quicker and more efficient to fit and use (eg (https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/0-8-G-HEAVY-DUTY-GALVANISED-GARDEN-WIRE-METAL-FENCING-WIRE-OUTDOOR-15M-LENGTHS/402261626489?hash=item5da8a94e79:g:4mQAAOSwqyJevK09) )
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 21 July, 2020, 09:16:19 am
You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.
What do you do when you're finished, just pour it back in?

I thought the idea of using a paint kettle was to only decant a small amount at a time (and top up as necessary), so there should only be dregs left at the end, nothing to pour back, therefore no risk of contaminating the main pot.

Another reason for using a paint kettle is that it contains a lot less paint so is a lot less catastrophic if it gets knocked over. DAMHIKT.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 21 July, 2020, 10:14:20 am
You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.
What do you do when you're finished, just pour it back in?

I thought the idea of using a paint kettle was to only decant a small amount at a time (and top up as necessary), so there should only be dregs left at the end, nothing to pour back, therefore no risk of contaminating the main pot.

Another reason for using a paint kettle is that it contains a lot less paint so is a lot less catastrophic if it gets knocked over. DAMHIKT.

W-e-e-e-e-l, I'd actually describe it as having the optimum amount in the kettle so the risk of overloading the brush is lessened, also much more convenient than trying to carry/paint from a 2.5 litre can. Contamination of the can is not something that I've ever seen as a concern.
Title: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 21 July, 2020, 10:40:35 am
W-e-e-e-e-l, I'd actually describe it as having the optimum amount in the kettle so the risk of overloading the brush is lessened, also much more convenient than trying to carry/paint from a 2.5 litre can.

Yes, all of the above.

Quote
Contamination of the can is not something that I've ever seen as a concern.

It’s something I learned from my ancient Reader’s Digest DIY manual. It sounds like good practice so I’ve always followed the advice.

In any case, if you’re only decanting in small amounts, as much as you need, you shouldn’t have any left over to put back in the tin.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 July, 2020, 10:42:32 am
More a div-no-more moment: realized for the first time today that Shimano cassettes are packaged in such a way that you can slide the whole unit down the disposable plastic core and onto the freewheel in one piece.  In the past I've removed the core then struggled to keep the cassette in one piece while sliding it over, usually without success. Duh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Clare on 21 July, 2020, 10:49:44 am
Well, that's my new thing learned today.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 21 July, 2020, 06:24:43 pm
Me too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 21 July, 2020, 06:29:12 pm
Et moi
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 July, 2020, 07:00:53 pm
I’ve forgotten what it is we’ve learnt  and it was less than an hour ago.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 22 July, 2020, 12:45:31 pm
More a div-no-more moment: realized for the first time today that Shimano cassettes are packaged in such a way that you can slide the whole unit down the disposable plastic core and onto the freewheel in one piece.  In the past I've removed the core then struggled to keep the cassette in one piece while sliding it over, usually without success. Duh.
I think I learned this just after fitting the last one. I think the problem here is doing something often enough that you don't bother reading the instructions anymore.

Add to that the phenomenon of checking things afterwards, in the same way that I often don't spot typos in texts etc until I'm reading what I've just sent.

You'd think that evolution would have dispatched me ages ago...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 23 July, 2020, 12:34:35 pm
Having waited (and ranted about) UPS's failure to deliver a parcel for 3 days I finally got to talk to someone with some sense who told me I'd given them my old postcode*.

*In my defence my new postcode is one digit different from the old one - AA3 1AA vs AA13 1AA. And I don't think that exonerates the 2 people at UPS I spoke to from noticing when I gave the address to them yesterday, nor their promises that both it would be delivered yesterday and that someone would call me, neither of which happened.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 25 July, 2020, 09:37:05 pm
This is also the "how have you attempted to remove yourself from this mortal coil, today?" thread, isn't it?

Because today I learned something. I learned that when one's beloved calls, the "what now?" response REALLY needs to be sotto voce. Very sotto.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 26 July, 2020, 08:24:32 am
To be fair, m'lud, I was reading the tape upside down at a very oblique angle without my glasses, so mistaking 80.9 for 81.5 might be considered understandable.  And in any case the panelling will cover the extra holes in the wall.

And yes, I am taking a bloody long time over this job.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 26 July, 2020, 08:05:05 pm
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=116347.msg2521556#msg2521556)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 26 July, 2020, 08:13:07 pm
To be fair, m'lud...

...the bottles are a very similar size and shape, and the contents a similar colour.


And that's how I came to fill my chain bath with hydraulic brake fluid instead of degreaser.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 26 July, 2020, 08:34:58 pm
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=116347.msg2521556#msg2521556)

To be pedantic - it's "A little learning is a dangerous thing" from the Alexander Pope poem, I quote :
 
A little learning is a dangerous thing ;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring :
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again.
Fired at first sight with what the Muse imparts,
In fearless youth we tempt the heights of Arts ;
While from the bounded level of our mind
Short views we take, nor see the lengths behind,
But, more advanced, behold with strange surprise
New distant scenes of endless science rise !
So pleased at first the towering Alps we try,
Mount o’er the vales, and seem to tread the sky ;
The eternal snows appear already past,
And the first clouds and mountains seem the last ;
But those attained, we tremble to survey
The growing labours of the lengthened way ;
The increasing prospect tires our wandering eyes,
Hills peep o’er hills, and Alps on Alps arise !

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 26 July, 2020, 08:49:50 pm
This is also the "how have you attempted to remove yourself from this mortal coil, today?" thread, isn't it?

Because today I learned something. I learned that when one's beloved calls, the "what now?" response REALLY needs to be sotto voce. Very sotto.

 ;D
You are me and ICMFP.
I also very nearly didn't survive.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 26 July, 2020, 10:10:04 pm
To be pedantic - it's "A little learning is a dangerous thing" from the Alexander Pope poem, I quote :
 
A little learning is a dangerous thing ;
I sit corrected and educated. Always good that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hulver on 28 July, 2020, 09:46:42 am
I've been building my own wheels for my newest bike, using Roger Musson's excellent book. I didn't make a wheel dishing tool though, as the wheel building stand I'm using has markers on for checking the dishing.

Back wheel went great, put it in the bike, dishing was spot on.

I must have messed the front wheel up though (disc brake, so is slightly dished) and not been paying attention. I put the wheel in the bike and the dish is slightly off. Could use it, but it would annoy me. So I put the wheel back in the stand to fix the dishing. I make a mark on some tape where I want the centre of the wheel to end up.

Somehow I managed to fix the dishing the wrong way, and now the wheel is twice as bad as it was before.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 28 July, 2020, 09:59:12 am
If you flip the wheel round in your truing jig a few times, it shows you whether the dish is out and by how much. If the lateral position of the rim does not change, it is dished properly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 28 July, 2020, 10:18:07 am
If you flip the wheel round in your truing jig a few times, it shows you whether the dish is out and by how much. If the lateral position of the rim does not change, it is dished properly.
If working on a wheel with misc spacers, locknuts and washers, make sure they're all in place before doing this, otherwise it will appear miles off and Bad Swears will happen until you realise. DAHIKT.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 July, 2020, 10:24:32 am
If you flip the wheel round in your truing jig a few times, it shows you whether the dish is out and by how much. If the lateral position of the rim does not change, it is dished properly.

Thanks for the tip, my homemade dishing tool was a bit iffy in any case.  Easier to measure rim position vs a fixed point.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 28 July, 2020, 10:33:37 am
Flipping the wheel round actually indicates double the amount the wheel is out of dish i.e. 2mm difference in rim position = 1mm out of dish.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 28 July, 2020, 11:20:21 am
I've been building my own wheels for my newest bike, using Roger Musson's excellent book. I didn't make a wheel dishing tool though, as the wheel building stand I'm using has markers on for checking the dishing.

Back wheel went great, put it in the bike, dishing was spot on.

I must have messed the front wheel up though (disc brake, so is slightly dished) and not been paying attention. I put the wheel in the bike and the dish is slightly off. Could use it, but it would annoy me. So I put the wheel back in the stand to fix the dishing. I make a mark on some tape where I want the centre of the wheel to end up.

Somehow I managed to fix the dishing the wrong way, and now the wheel is twice as bad as it was before.
I bought that book too a month or so back. I haven't read/tried any others, so can't quite work out why I bought this one, but I agree, it's dead easy to follow, though I suspect some of what he says is quite possibly very idiosyncratic.

I knocked up two wheels for Mrs hatler's best bike and so far (fingers still very crossed) it all seems to be working out very well. She's done a few hundred miles on them so they can't be too shabby.

I did indulge myself with a Park Tools dishing gauge (probably overkill) and the Spa Cycles truing jig. I think Sigma charge £50 for a wheel build, so at the moment total costs = approx £130 and total savings = £100. One wheel to go and I'm in positive territory. (But that's without taking into account the invaluable sense of satisfaction and well-being, which even Mastercard can't put a price on.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 July, 2020, 12:09:48 pm
Flipping the wheel round actually indicates double the amount the wheel is out of dish i.e. 2mm difference in rim position = 1mm out of dish.

Yes, already thinking that in my own mind, but by the time I need to build my next wheel will probabaly have forgotten - 2 so far, one of them I still own and it's OK so farar
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 28 July, 2020, 12:11:35 pm
It doesn't matter whether you remember or not. A dishing tool indicates four times the actual out-of-dish. Once the rim stays in the same place, regardless of method, the wheel is in dish anyway.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 28 July, 2020, 12:12:36 pm
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=116347.msg2521556#msg2521556)
I think that this is entirely acceptable. Like most techie I can mostly fumble my way around setting a network up to work, but bug fixing a setup is never going to be an efficient process. The only reason I can come up with as to why networking in particular has become such an opaque topic is that those who originally developed it used voodoo to make it work. I’m convinced that advanced networking courses are in reality instructions on how to hide the bodies of the required sacrifices.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hulver on 28 July, 2020, 01:17:36 pm
If you flip the wheel round in your truing jig a few times, it shows you whether the dish is out and by how much. If the lateral position of the rim does not change, it is dished properly.

Yes, I will do that when I attempt to sort out my mistake. Good idea, thank you. I've been too lazy to do that because it's a through axle front wheel, and getting it fixed solid in the stand is a bit of a faff. So once it's there I don't like to fiddle with it. Just excuses though, I've spent this much time on it I should make it right.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 31 July, 2020, 04:57:19 pm
Fitting a replacement pair of basic suspension forks to a friend's bike (a 15 year old Specialized that he commutes on) - play on the legs on the original pair was significant to put it mildly.

Anyway, he sourced a new pair + star nut - I got it all stripped down, cut the new steerer to length, loaded the starnut into my proper Park Tool inserter tool - positioned it and applied the large hammer with the fork legs on the floor (standard procedure)

 . . . . . but this is where the div bit came in - hitting the tool made a nice resounding thud but failed to push the starnut down into the steerer . . . ah, suspension forks!  Had to resort to hooking the fork crown on the lever of the big vice and then applying the hammer - success.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 31 July, 2020, 05:05:44 pm
That not only amuses me but reminds me of a time nigh on twenty years ago when myself and a few mates were dabbling with mtb's.  Mr "Allthegear" had bought some Rockshox Judy forks.  He did a similar thing.  Me and another mate watched on barely stifling our guffaws for a good couple of minutes whilst the comedy ensued.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 31 July, 2020, 07:26:29 pm
I can see the bright yellow bottle I used today sat on the bonsai bench outside my office window.

Can I be arsed to unlock the back door and go get it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 August, 2020, 08:44:45 am
Being short-sighted, when I want to do something fiddly I usually peek over the top of my glasses.  Yesterday, getting the backing off a bit of helicopter tape was too fiddly even for that so I swapped my glasses for binocular magnifiers and peeked over the top of those.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 01 August, 2020, 10:41:04 am
Being short-sighted, when I want to do something fiddly I usually peek over the top of my glasses.  Yesterday, getting the backing off a bit of helicopter tape was too fiddly even for that so I swapped my glasses for binocular magnifiers and peeked over the top of those.
I have a similar problem: I wear varifocals, so if I want to do something like rewire a ceiling rose, or anything above my head, I'm looking through the distance part of the lens and I can't see  thing.  Until I recalled my music reading glasses - which focus about 3 feet in front of my face.

That works.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 August, 2020, 12:51:00 pm
Yeah. I use my computer glasses for cutting my toenails.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 01 August, 2020, 01:25:29 pm
Yeah. I use my computer glasses for cutting my toenails.
I find clippers or scissors easier.

IGMC
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 August, 2020, 02:09:21 pm
Yeah. I use my computer glasses for cutting my toenails.
I find clippers or scissors easier.

IGMC

I wondered why they weren't getting any shorter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 01 August, 2020, 02:45:57 pm
Being short-sighted, when I want to do something fiddly I usually peek over the top of my glasses.  Yesterday, getting the backing off a bit of helicopter tape was too fiddly even for that so I swapped my glasses for binocular magnifiers and peeked over the top of those.
I have a similar problem: I wear varifocals, so if I want to do something like rewire a ceiling rose, or anything above my head, I'm looking through the distance part of the lens and I can't see  thing.  Until I recalled my music reading glasses - which focus about 3 feet in front of my face.

That works.

Have you tried the Dennis Taylor snooker glasses method - wearing yours upside down?  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 01 August, 2020, 02:55:23 pm
Being short-sighted, when I want to do something fiddly I usually peek over the top of my glasses.  Yesterday, getting the backing off a bit of helicopter tape was too fiddly even for that so I swapped my glasses for binocular magnifiers and peeked over the top of those.
I have a similar problem: I wear varifocals, so if I want to do something like rewire a ceiling rose, or anything above my head, I'm looking through the distance part of the lens and I can't see  thing.  Until I recalled my music reading glasses - which focus about 3 feet in front of my face.

That works.

Have you tried the Dennis Taylor snooker glasses method - wearing yours upside down?  :)
Hadn't thought of that!  Just had a dry run - I'd need to molish some sort of retaining apparatus, but it might work.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 01 August, 2020, 02:59:13 pm
Surely you have a variety of old prescription lenses glasses that you can “adjust” the arms on?  I’ve just got two new pairs (collecting Friday) so can experiment with the ones I’m wearing now. Trying to thread STI cables in the shed I find the same problem, so inversion may help!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 02 August, 2020, 09:26:41 am
Managed to stub my toe this morning. The same toe that I broke at the beginning of lockdown, and which still gives me twinges from time to time. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 August, 2020, 11:14:47 am
Being short-sighted, when I want to do something fiddly I usually peek over the top of my glasses.  Yesterday, getting the backing off a bit of helicopter tape was too fiddly even for that so I swapped my glasses for binocular magnifiers and peeked over the top of those.
I have a similar problem: I wear varifocals, so if I want to do something like rewire a ceiling rose, or anything above my head, I'm looking through the distance part of the lens and I can't see  thing.  Until I recalled my music reading glasses - which focus about 3 feet in front of my face.

That works.

Have you tried the Dennis Taylor snooker glasses method - wearing yours upside down?  :)

But then you have the wrong lens in front of each eye.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 03 August, 2020, 12:22:30 pm
Being short-sighted, when I want to do something fiddly I usually peek over the top of my glasses.  Yesterday, getting the backing off a bit of helicopter tape was too fiddly even for that so I swapped my glasses for binocular magnifiers and peeked over the top of those.
I have a similar problem: I wear varifocals, so if I want to do something like rewire a ceiling rose, or anything above my head, I'm looking through the distance part of the lens and I can't see  thing.  Until I recalled my music reading glasses - which focus about 3 feet in front of my face.

That works.

Have you tried the Dennis Taylor snooker glasses method - wearing yours upside down?  :)

But then you have the wrong lens in front of each eye.

Or you'r looking through the lens backwards.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Gattopardo on 04 August, 2020, 10:12:26 pm
Gave myself mild sunstroke, on a not particularly warm or sunny day.  Didn't noticed I hadn't pee'd even after drink half a litre of coffee and litre and a half of water.  Even made sure I was in the shade too.  No sunburn tho.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 05 August, 2020, 11:33:16 am
went to work on the bike yesterday.  packed my pannier the night before as usual.

Arrived at work to find my breakfast and lunch but no underwear!

Thankfully two pairs of scrubs trousers works very well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 05 August, 2020, 11:59:11 am
Gave myself mild sunstroke, on a not particularly warm or sunny day.  Didn't noticed I hadn't pee'd even after drink half a litre of coffee and litre and a half of water.  Even made sure I was in the shade too.  No sunburn tho.
Entirely unrelated, many a year ago I completed the London-Brighton. Which I found quite unpleasant, partly as I had sunstroke. All the symptoms, thumping headache, hot, tired. At the finish St Johns Ambulance had a field hospital set up which would have graced a minor war. Scum approaches first aid lady and begs a paracetamol. Ohhh noo Mr Scum - we are not allowed to give out drugs. So WTF is your function then? Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Gattopardo on 05 August, 2020, 08:35:36 pm
Gave myself mild sunstroke, on a not particularly warm or sunny day.  Didn't noticed I hadn't pee'd even after drink half a litre of coffee and litre and a half of water.  Even made sure I was in the shade too.  No sunburn tho.
Entirely unrelated, many a year ago I completed the London-Brighton. Which I found quite unpleasant, partly as I had sunstroke. All the symptoms, thumping headache, hot, tired. At the finish St Johns Ambulance had a field hospital set up which would have graced a minor war. Scum approaches first aid lady and begs a paracetamol. Ohhh noo Mr Scum - we are not allowed to give out drugs. So WTF is your function then? Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?

Least they could have done is bandaged something.

Anyway I have been feeling like I have had a major hungover all day today.  So minimal DIY and driving.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 August, 2020, 08:44:30 pm
Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?

Shirley the cubs can bandage their own forearms using woggles and so on?  Unless they're busy removing things from horses' hooves with a Swiss Army Knife, of course.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 05 August, 2020, 09:13:50 pm
Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?

Shirley the cubs can bandage their own forearms using woggles and so on?  Unless they're busy removing things from horses' hooves with a Swiss Army Knife, of course.

Nah. We didn't have Swiss Army Knives.  We had this. With completely useless horse's hoof bodger.
https://images.app.goo.gl/QSwQBGAfSZJxqHLY8
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 August, 2020, 09:23:01 pm
That's for sea scouts - the horses would drown.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 August, 2020, 09:23:55 pm
That's for sea scouts - the horses would drown.

Not if they were sea horses
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 August, 2020, 09:24:30 pm
That's for sea scouts - the horses would drown.

Not if they were sea horses

Ain't no hooves on that bitch!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 August, 2020, 09:25:44 pm
That's for sea scouts - the horses would drown.

Not if they were sea horses

Ain't no hooves on that bitch!

Oooh, claws out!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 05 August, 2020, 11:29:25 pm
That looks more like a splicing spike to me.
Used by salty folk to open up the lay of ropes to splice other ropes into it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 06 August, 2020, 01:11:23 am
A fid.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 August, 2020, 07:30:45 am
A fid is a fantastically useful tool. Should never have a sharp point.

For opening up ropes when splicing.
Undoing stubborn knots.
Lifting/moving metal things with sharp edges (these usually have holes in them somewhere, you stick the fid in the hole and now you have a strong grip with no risk of sharp edges cutting fingers).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 06 August, 2020, 07:35:43 am
Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?

Shirley the cubs can bandage their own forearms using woggles and so on?  Unless they're busy removing things from horses' hooves with a Swiss Army Knife, of course.

Nah. We didn't have Swiss Army Knives.  We had this. With completely useless horse's hoof bodger.
https://images.app.goo.gl/QSwQBGAfSZJxqHLY8

You were allowed knives in the cubs!!???    - in 28th Epping Forest you weren't able to have a knife on you (when in uniform) until you had passed your "hand axe" test in the 2nd class badge. Early H&S?

Rob
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 06 August, 2020, 07:45:34 am
That looks more like a splicing spike to me.
Used by salty folk to open up the lay of ropes to splice other ropes into it.

True
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 06 August, 2020, 08:55:02 am


Nah. We didn't have Swiss Army Knives.  We had this. With completely useless horse's hoof bodger.
https://images.app.goo.gl/QSwQBGAfSZJxqHLY8

I've got one of those! The Henlow/Clifton Lions were obviously less dodgy than the Epping Foresters  :smug:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 06 August, 2020, 01:14:39 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 06 August, 2020, 01:30:41 pm
Gave myself mild sunstroke, on a not particularly warm or sunny day.  Didn't noticed I hadn't pee'd even after drink half a litre of coffee and litre and a half of water.  Even made sure I was in the shade too.  No sunburn tho.
Entirely unrelated, many a year ago I completed the London-Brighton. Which I found quite unpleasant, partly as I had sunstroke. All the symptoms, thumping headache, hot, tired. At the finish St Johns Ambulance had a field hospital set up which would have graced a minor war. Scum approaches first aid lady and begs a paracetamol. Ohhh noo Mr Scum - we are not allowed to give out drugs. So WTF is your function then? Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?

Most St John's (and Red Cross) First Aiders are not qualified to prescribe and/or administer medicines.  There are all sorts of contraindications for something as simple as paracetemol.  Their function is - in an emergency - to administer 'first aid' until such time as someone else can treat you, including prescribing/administering any required medicines.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 August, 2020, 01:36:03 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.
Looking forward to you posting this again tomorrow. ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 August, 2020, 04:02:41 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 August, 2020, 04:04:21 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves
"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 06 August, 2020, 04:33:20 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves
"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."
So, where's the butter?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 06 August, 2020, 05:08:41 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves
"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."
So, where's the butter?

Deployed outside to keep track of the car washing team.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Gattopardo on 06 August, 2020, 11:28:49 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

The first time you remembered doing it.

Welcome to the club.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 07 August, 2020, 12:05:00 am

Most St John's (and Red Cross) First Aiders are not qualified to prescribe and/or administer medicines.  There are all sorts of contraindications for something as simple as paracetemol.  Their function is - in an emergency - to administer 'first aid' until such time as someone else can treat you, including prescribing/administering any required medicines.

When I was a Red Cross first aider I was trained to (and authorised to when appropriate) give patients:

- Paracetamol
- Loratadine
- Aspirin
- Salbutamol
- Oxygen
- Entonox

Unfortunately BRC in their infinite incompetence got rid of all the first aid volunteers recently. Which is a bloody stupid move IMHO.

J



Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 07 August, 2020, 10:24:15 am
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves
"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 August, 2020, 10:29:22 am
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves
"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Doesn’t everyone have a climate-controlled motor-house?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 07 August, 2020, 11:01:04 am
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 07 August, 2020, 11:28:38 am
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

And random bits of wood.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Gattopardo on 07 August, 2020, 12:22:25 pm
I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves
"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

I know, apart from insurance reasons.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 August, 2020, 01:32:31 pm
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

And random bits of wood.
Labelled "Too short to be of any use"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 07 August, 2020, 01:54:23 pm
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

And random bits of wood.

All that and more.

I can still (just) get the car in, a bit tricky as the garage is slightly offset behind the house.

But I hate having to scrape ice off in winter, and sheltering from the sun helps preserve the paint, plastic and rubber bits including the tyres.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 07 August, 2020, 11:01:50 pm
Colleague got a text from his girfreind today. I heard "wow! Shes got a job interview at Babestation!"

I raised my eyebrows and then realised what he had actually said was "Wow! Shes got a job interview at Playstation!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 10 August, 2020, 11:34:05 am
You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

Just get two garages. Then the car has a home (technically speaking, our other garage is the magic tunnel under the house – it's not that posh, they just built an extension over the driveway that leads to the actual garage at the end of the garden). Oooo, driveway!

Admittedly, one of ours is still full of old Ikea furniture. And judging by the cat's love of sitting outside the door, mice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 August, 2020, 12:29:43 pm
Modern garages are too small. You can't even keep a baby elephant in them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 10 August, 2020, 12:38:55 pm
It says something about modern garages that we had to get custom fitted doors* to replace the rotten ones on ours – all currently available standard doors were too small for the gap.

*actually, they built out a new door frame and used a set of standard doors.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 August, 2020, 12:54:04 pm
Modern garages are too small. You can't even keep a baby elephant in them.

Once upon a time, our garage would have been regarded as having room for two cars. The problem is partly that garages have got smaller but also that cars have got much wider.

Anyway, back to divvery...

I was very good yesterday when I got home from my bike ride - kit straight in the washing machine rather than being left in a festering heap on the bedroom floor.

This morning, I was trying to remember where I left my earphones. Oh yes, I know - in the back pocket of my jersey... just tried plugging them in to charge, no response at all.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 August, 2020, 12:56:24 pm
Just get two garages.

I haven't got that many bikes though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 10 August, 2020, 01:00:13 pm
If I got rid of the manky old Ikea furniture I could get more bikes in there. We did buy a new Brompton, but that's arriving Sept Oct Nov now.

Not that I cycle much in these plague-blighted days, mind.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 10 August, 2020, 01:01:31 pm
Just get two garages.

I haven't got that many bikes though.

Get more bikes...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 August, 2020, 01:03:51 pm
Get more bikes...

I like your way of thinking.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 10 August, 2020, 04:16:36 pm
Get more bikes...

I like your way of thinking.
It does seem like the obvious solution and it’s not something your SO can argue with really.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 August, 2020, 06:07:17 pm
When binning the plastic wrapping from a six-pack, it is better not to leave a can of Fizzy Pop inside it.  Now it's all warm :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 August, 2020, 09:30:32 am
Opened my workshop windows when the air was cool and set a fan on the windowsill blowing in.  Then proceeded to forget about it until it was already >28° out.

...two days in a row. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 13 August, 2020, 09:36:43 am
Just get two garages.

I haven't got that many bikes though yet.


FTFY.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 13 August, 2020, 10:06:22 am
Just get two garages.

I haven't got that many bikes though yet.


FTFY.

Believe me, I'm working on it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 August, 2020, 11:14:16 pm
I should probably have closed the Velux window above my bed before it started raining  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 14 August, 2020, 06:16:39 am
Quote from: Mr Larrington
I should probably have closed the Velux window above my bed before it started raining  :facepalm:
Nah.  Efficiency.  Kip and a shower at the same time.  More time for drinking coffee when you get out of your (soggy) pit.  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 August, 2020, 12:34:36 am
You know when you've got a load of small fiddly things, right, and you put them in an ice cube tray to make sure they don't get lost, yeah?  And then you knock the ice cube tray onto the floor?

Yes, exactly like that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 16 August, 2020, 07:19:12 am
If you've ever dealt with elderberries, its very much like that. Ping! There goes another of the little fuckers.

Where did It go? Squish!
Oh yes, there it is, staining the floor purple under my foot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 August, 2020, 09:09:33 am
...unless it's a tick that just fell off the dog.  Last night, with that in mind, I stalked and pounced on an errant pea that had somehow made it to the skirting beneath the kitchen window.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 August, 2020, 07:33:53 pm
Doorbell not working.  Diagnosis: mains wire has come out of transformer.  Unplug, unscrew, poke, prod.  Oooh, look at the pretty blue spark… oh, wait!

No, the doorbell is the one with the WHITE plug :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 August, 2020, 01:44:14 pm
You know when you've got a load of small fiddly things, right, and you put them in an ice cube tray to make sure they don't get lost, yeah?  And then you knock the ice cube tray onto the floor?

Yes, exactly like that.

“Again!  Again!” cried the invisible Teletubbies in the Chips Room of Larrington Towers.  Mr Larrington duly obliged.  Is it Wrong to install a disk drive using d/s tape?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 August, 2020, 02:28:12 pm
You know when you've got a load of small fiddly things, right, and you put them in an ice cube tray to make sure they don't get lost, yeah?  And then you knock the ice cube tray onto the floor?

Yes, exactly like that.

“Again!  Again!” cried the invisible Teletubbies in the Chips Room of Larrington Towers.  Mr Larrington duly obliged.  Is it Wrong to install a disk drive using d/s tape?
i have a large pot of assorted Babbage engine fixings after the last time I took one to pieces*. I can send you a handful if you’d like.

*The intention was to repair it, but it became increasingly obvious economic repair was not an option.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 August, 2020, 02:54:36 pm
Ta, o Bearded Wonder, but the d/s tape seems to be working for now.  We'll see how it gets on once the Babbage-Engine gets properly warm.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 20 August, 2020, 10:59:19 pm
Does the elastic band put the disc drive under tension?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 21 August, 2020, 01:54:08 pm
The SSD which is running this iMac is attached to the back of it using Blu-Tack.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 August, 2020, 02:29:10 pm
Ta, o Bearded Wonder, but the d/s tape seems to be working for now.  We'll see how it gets on once the Babbage-Engine gets properly warm.

I'm just waiting for the "Things that go bump in the night" thread now ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 21 August, 2020, 02:35:13 pm
“Again!  Again!” cried the invisible Teletubbies in the Chips Room of Larrington Towers.  Mr Larrington duly obliged.  Is it Wrong to install a disk drive using d/s tape?

You have a room dedicated to Chips? With sauce dispensers and deep fryers and everything?
Beats the pants off Dom Cumming's boring old tapestry room.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 August, 2020, 02:50:18 pm
You know when you've got a load of small fiddly things, right, and you put them in an ice cube tray to make sure they don't get lost, yeah?  And then you knock the ice cube tray onto the floor?

Yes, exactly like that.

“Again!  Again!” cried the invisible Teletubbies in the Chips Room of Larrington Towers.  Mr Larrington duly obliged.  Is it Wrong to install a disk drive using d/s tape?

Back in the days when a BFO disk held a whole 14 Mb and the drive weighed over 50 kilos, I saw one installed in a cabinet by four bolts at the front and a couple of zip ties at the back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 August, 2020, 02:56:26 pm
When I did the Big Cannibalising Exercise to make one (just about) working Babbage Engine from two banjaxed ones I ended up with an SSD secured by SFA and just resting in the too-big-for-it drive bay.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 August, 2020, 09:49:47 am
Managed to let the eggs slip down the side of the shopping-bag before squeezing it into a rear footwell.  Crunch. :facepalm: :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 22 August, 2020, 08:43:09 pm
Daniel (3) is magnetically drawn to the cattle grid at the field entrance over the road.  He's astride his balance bike and the front wheel slips on the wet grate, resulting in a little wail.
Legs (39) crouches down to pick up the pieces, uttering words of sympathy and placation, and finds out just how fucking slippery it was.  :demon:  Hope I haven't chipped a bone in my ankle...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 24 August, 2020, 12:57:32 pm
I live in a house that is called Bienenstock which translates to beehive. Our Wi-Fi Router name is Bienenstock.

I’ve noticed recently when looking at the list of available Wi-Fi access options there is one called Wespennest, wasps nest, which I imagined was one of the neighbours having a bit of a laugh.

Yesterday evening I discovered it is the name of the router for the downstairs of this house.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 26 August, 2020, 11:38:12 am
Double dose of diviry from me today.

My pa has the same birthday as our youngest,,ie today. I haven’t sent him a card or pressie because I’m just a bad son (I forgot!)
So jump onto the interwebs to send him emergency supplies of GIN (he’s actually easy to please and we’d already decided we were going to send him a particular brand). Fill out the order, put delivery address and payment address in go to pay, and pick different payment method. Select Apple Pay, notice that the delivery address has changed to eldest daughter, and make the change using post code before committing. Place finger on fingerprint reader and watch with horror as I realise it’s pulled dads address out of my contacts list which still has it down as Mum and Dad.

Mother died two years ago but I’ve not been able to bring myself to delete her from my contacts. Dad isn’t an understanding man and WOULD take Umbridge with the error. Thankfully I found a contact number on the website and one panicked phone call later a very helpful man changed the recipient name. And breath.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 August, 2020, 10:25:54 am
Zipped round Aldi this morning, got back to trolley rank, chained up trolley, got my token back, turned away towards car and realized that the bag was still in the trolley.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 09 September, 2020, 01:59:09 pm
On monday I received delivery of my new bass recorder. I therefore checked it over and had a short play on it.

During this I noticed that the window and beak were not aligned with the instrument. I looked at this and tried to see if there was an adjustable joint to rotate them without success. So Tuesday I called the vendor to ask for help.

It turns out there is a dismantling / rotation joint  :facepalm: and despite my previous protestations the beak and window do rotate and I can sort it out at home without having to return the recorder.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 11 September, 2020, 05:15:32 pm
So, I popped into the local market today to get some fish. Got some sea bass fillets, a cooked squat lobster for a treat, an£ a pot of crayfish tails. Well, I asked for a pot of crayfish tails, and wasn’t looking, and didn’t bother with checking the amount charged. Thought the bag was heavy.  Got home and unpacked it. Ah, instead of the usual tub of crayfish tails, I’ve got the whole pot from the display. About a litre o& them, for £20!  ::-)  Still, my wife likes them and they’ll freeze.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 12 September, 2020, 02:59:07 pm
Yeahbut,  it's August.   Tomorrow I'm going to have to go out with the bamboo pole of cleanness to check the oil level.  In readiness for the heating season.  Never done that in August before.
Oh shit. I've only just noticed the the filler cap on our oil tank was open. I can only assume that has been since I checked the level a fortnight ago.

There's been rain since then. Oh buggery, buggery bugger.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 September, 2020, 03:09:13 pm
Yeahbut,  it's August.   Tomorrow I'm going to have to go out with the bamboo pole of cleanness to check the oil level.  In readiness for the heating season.  Never done that in August before.
Oh shit. I've only just noticed the the filler cap on our oil tank was open. I can only assume that has been since I checked the level a fortnight ago.

There's been rain since then. Oh buggery, buggery bugger.

Is there not some sort of sump plug arrangement, by which water and associated schmoo can be drained off?  Not that there's any way such a scheme could go horribly wrong, of course...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 12 September, 2020, 03:57:24 pm
Yeahbut,  it's August.   Tomorrow I'm going to have to go out with the bamboo pole of cleanness to check the oil level.  In readiness for the heating season.  Never done that in August before.
Oh shit. I've only just noticed the the filler cap on our oil tank was open. I can only assume that has been since I checked the level a fortnight ago.

There's been rain since then. Oh buggery, buggery bugger.

Is there not some sort of sump plug arrangement, by which water and associated schmoo can be drained off?  Not that there's any way such a scheme could go horribly wrong, of course...

A correctly installed heating oil tank should be set at an angle with a tap at the lowest point - water will be at the bottom so can be drained via the tap.  Having oil heating at a 3 houses for a total of of over 20 years we seldom had any water in the tanks (it's not just rain but some condensation too)

TIP: If you're moving house and the oil is a bit low, jack up the back of the tank to maximise oil you can use and not have to buy any   ;) . . . if the boiler splutters then you have no usable oil left
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 12 September, 2020, 05:56:30 pm
The outlet pipe is well above the bottom of the tank, although I have no idea of the internal dimensions of the double skin so I'm not sure how well above.
No evidence of a sump tap. I assume that the idea was to leave enough room in the bottom to cover usage for the suggested lifespan of the tank.
10 years aiui.  :o.  I can only assume that it is the same age as the boiler and ch system which was installed in 2004. 
Oh dear.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 12 September, 2020, 07:34:22 pm
tbh there's probably not a lot got in through the filler cap, if any
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 12 September, 2020, 07:54:01 pm
The outlet pipe is well above the bottom of the tank, although I have no idea of the internal dimensions of the double skin so I'm not sure how well above.
No evidence of a sump tap. I assume that the idea was to leave enough room in the bottom to cover usage for the suggested lifespan of the tank.
10 years aiui.  :o.  I can only assume that it is the same age as the boiler and ch system which was installed in 2004. 
Oh dear.

10 years?? I know for sure the house across the road has the same (steel) tank that was there when we moved in in 1999.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 12 September, 2020, 09:07:04 pm
The outlet pipe is well above the bottom of the tank, although I have no idea of the internal dimensions of the double skin so I'm not sure how well above.
No evidence of a sump tap. I assume that the idea was to leave enough room in the bottom to cover usage for the suggested lifespan of the tank.
10 years aiui.  :o.  I can only assume that it is the same age as the boiler and ch system which was installed in 2004. 
Oh dear.



10 years?? I know for sure the house across the road has the same (steel) tank that was there when we moved in in 1999.

Nah.  They're all that green plastic now.  It's quite common around here to hear of the latest tank collapse and destruction of neighbors' veg plots.  The best one was a tank that collapsed and fell into the main road above Alltwalis, closing the road for two days.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 September, 2020, 02:51:51 pm
A few recent entries for here. Let's do the one about trying to be clever.

When TV Remote Control Aged 17 3/4 stops working, one option for resurrection if cleaning doesn't work is to replace the conductive rubber layer. This is a thin layer on the underside of the button that wears in time and use. The simplest way to do this is to use a sharp knife to slice it off, and replace it with the tops sliced off another remote, that you no longer use, sticking it down with a v small dab of silicone.

It is advisable, when selecting an unused remote, to choose a genuine unused remote like the Panasonic CD player that no longer exists, rather than the Panasonic HD recorder, that very much still does.  :facepalm: 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 18 September, 2020, 08:29:03 pm
Quote from: Ham
The simplest way to do this is to use a sharp knife to slice it off, and replace it with the tops sliced off another remote, that you no longer use, sticking it down with a v small dab of silicone.
May one recommend a small bottle of conductive paint, as used to be sold by Maplins?  A small dot of this on the reverse of each key serves very well but does have to be redone at intervals.  In extremis a 2B or 3B  pencil can be used to restore the conducting layer, but this is a very, very short term solution. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 18 September, 2020, 08:30:55 pm
May one recommend a small bottle of conductive paint, as used to be sold by Maplins?

Halfrauds.  Rear windscreen heaters for the touching up of.  Very useful stuff.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 18 September, 2020, 08:40:09 pm
I may be the only person who remembers sonic remote controls (I figure it might one of those things that only featured in my life, because I imagined it).

My parents, in an attempt not to be so pikey with a one-careless-owner portable, got a giant TV from Radio Rentals. It was, according to my five-year-old memory, the size of a shipping container. Not that five-year-old me was familiar with shipping containers. Which would be odd.

Anyway, it had a remote control that clicked. Click, click, click to change channel and volume. So, if you're five-year-old and willing to risk a clip around the ear, you can control the TV by running through the living room and clapping and turn Coronation Street into The Generation Game. Just like that. My ears still sting.

We can control our TV with an app. It's diabolical magic.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 18 September, 2020, 08:41:52 pm
I may be the only person who remembers sonic remote controls (I figure it might one of those things that only featured in my life, because I imagined it).

My parents, in an attempt not to be so pikey with a one-careless-owner portable, got a giant TV from Radio Rentals. It was, according to my five-year-old memory, the size of a shipping container. Not that five-year-old me was familiar with shipping containers. Which would be odd.

Anyway, it had a remote control that clicked. Click, click, click to change channel and volume. So, if you're five-year-old and willing to risk a clip around the ear, you can control the TV by running through the living room and clapping and turn Coronation Street into The Generation Game. Just like that. My ears still sting.

We can control our TV with an app. It's diabolical magic.
Yes.
This is how it was. That's how remotes worked.
At a time when we observed the Nat West Tower being built through my bezzie mate's astronomy telescope atop his home just off Knight's Hill in West Norwood.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 18 September, 2020, 08:43:05 pm
I may be the only person who remembers sonic remote controls (I figure it might one of those things that only featured in my life, because I imagined it).

I think they came up on my GCSE electronics syllabus.  Never seen one in the flesh, other than in a museum.

I reckon they were invented by the same person who went on to come up with the induction loop as a means of failing to transmit sound to hearing aid users.  Similar combination of clever idea and real-world impracticality.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 18 September, 2020, 08:50:25 pm
I feel validated. It could have been a false memory.

You also had to feed the TV fifty-pence pieces (that being the 'rental' bit). Honestly, there was a box on the back, and if you didn't feed it then blink-OFF! Cue screaming from my mother, for whom the soaps cannot stop. So, as a child labourer (they would have so sent me up chimneys), I was always dispatched to beg, borrow, or steal a fifty pence piece. I had the full-on alacrity of a small child so would stop and get and consume an ice-pop, talk to a cat, play in the park, poke random animals, that kind of thing. Which is why I once came home with a ferret firmly attached to my finger. Where is that fifty pence?, yells my mother, the tail end of Coronation Street having disappeared unwatched into the evening.

I don't want you to think I was unloved as a child. My dad did say 'strangle it, it'll let go.'

He wasn't wrong. They do.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 18 September, 2020, 08:53:46 pm
Also, I recall a possibly apocryphal story of a budgie learning the ultrasonic tones and changing the channel at random.  Not that I blame it, you take your entertainment where you can get it when you're a budgie.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 September, 2020, 08:56:07 pm
I remember ultrasonic remote control. A family we knew had one way back in the late 70s. They also had a cat...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 18 September, 2020, 08:57:07 pm
We inherited a 50p slot Radio Rentals TV from my partner's mum in the late 80's.
The flat was broken into and the TV coin box smashed with it's contents stolen while we were on holiday in North Wales.
I think we may've bought a telly after that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: RichForrest on 18 September, 2020, 08:59:23 pm
I may be the only person who remembers sonic remote controls (I figure it might one of those things that only featured in my life, because I imagined it).

I found our one used to change if you shook those little metal puzzles* in your clasped hands.


*The ones that linked together and were only supposed to come apart when pulled and twisted a certain way.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 September, 2020, 09:28:23 pm
Quote from: Ham
The simplest way to do this is to use a sharp knife to slice it off, and replace it with the tops sliced off another remote, that you no longer use, sticking it down with a v small dab of silicone.
May one recommend a small bottle of conductive paint, as used to be sold by Maplins?  A small dot of this on the reverse of each key serves very well but does have to be redone at intervals.  In extremis a 2B or 3B  pencil can be used to restore the conducting layer, but this is a very, very short term solution.

You mean the sort of stuff I have in a little phial? As you say, that does work, but the layer replacement is more reliable (or at least, can be. Accurate slicing off with a scalpel is the key). The problem was not the repair which was effective*, but the repairman's divness.

*And yes, I did replace the pads on the hacked remote and used another.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 18 September, 2020, 09:34:46 pm
Wow, all this shit is real, I really should write my memoirs. I feel so much better. I bet you all had a tribe of Boodadooks at the bottom of the garden too. They kept the dead away (coolest thing ever, we had a cemetery at the bottom of the garden, so a lot of my childhood was spent with dead people who were mildly more animated than my mother during a Brookside omnibus – pedants will probably declare that Brookside started sometime after the era of coin-powered TV, but there was always some soap opera with its claws firmly in my mother's attention*).

The remote was very clacky, not ultrasonic. You could definitely change the channel by clapping. Ironically, when my mum gave me a clap around the ear, I swear the channel would change. Though, let's face it, there were only three back then and we were excited by the debut of Channel 4. No one made that mistake with Channel 5, which they tried (and failed) to make sound exciting by calling it C5. It just made it sound like a vertebra.

A friend of mine at university had a budgie. It was very unwell in a way that could reasonably have been redefined as dead (so wasn't about to change any TV channels). I had a veterinary student girlfriend (it's OK, I'm pretty sure they don't get elbow-deep into anything till the 4th year) and so we all looked to her. Fix the budgie, Kathy! Faced with such peer-pressure and alcohol-smudged commonsense tried to resuscitate it with mouth to beak. Never mix drink and drugs, kids, it's the nucleation point for all kinds of bad ideas (actually, really do it, it's fun). I had trouble kissing her after that. Minimal, admitted, she was ultimately a female and I was twenty. But FIX THE BUDGIE, KATHY! became a firm part of our student lore. Whenever something unpleasant needed to be done we'd yell FIX THE BUDGIE, KATHY! (she didn't have to be there, it sort of helped if she wasn't). It wasn't a long relationship.

*It's not all bad, my mum let me watch all the horror movies with her and she once smuggled me into the Nottingham ABC to watch Jaws. We also both enjoyed Prison Cell Block H. What's a lesbian, mum? Kick me, we didn't have the internet back then. I also spent a while thinking I was the antichrist after The Omen.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 18 September, 2020, 09:43:45 pm

*And yes, I did replace the pads on the hacked remote and used another.

I’m completely sure I’d have stuck at least one back in the wrong place. Quite possibly two.

I also remember ultrasonic remotes, though I don’t think it was at home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 September, 2020, 11:48:01 pm
When I was a Penniless Student Oaf we had a remote-controlled distascope which spontaneously changed channels if you unscrewed the wossname on a Presta valve and let the air out in the same room.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 19 September, 2020, 04:53:20 am
Also, I recall a possibly apocryphal story of a budgie learning the ultrasonic tones and changing the channel at random.  Not that I blame it, you take your entertainment where you can get it when you're a budgie.
Klaus my partner had two parrots when he was young and they did learn to change his sonic remote controlled television.

They had to be moved to another room.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 19 September, 2020, 07:23:27 am
The first time he came across our IR remote control I distinctly remember my grandad pushing buttons and muttering "don't think much of this calculator" as various things happened on the TV.

It's very possible he was hamming it up for the gallery aka an 8 yo ED  :)
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 19 September, 2020, 10:07:37 am
I'm constitutionally incapable of using a tape measure without pretending it's either a really rubbish yoyo or a faulty walky talky.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 September, 2020, 05:43:25 pm
I have never heard of these sonic remotes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 September, 2020, 09:16:23 pm
You've probably never tried to resuscitate a budgie either.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 September, 2020, 09:20:32 pm
Correct
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 September, 2020, 09:24:21 pm
If I'm ever in Six degrees North again, I promise to demonstrate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 19 September, 2020, 10:26:47 pm
That's a date  :-*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 20 September, 2020, 06:25:29 am
That's a date  :-*

Now you just need to find a budgie....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 September, 2020, 04:49:06 pm
At patisserie stop today, I grabbed a freebie bonbon and tried to shove it into my mouth - through the mask.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 September, 2020, 09:59:25 pm
At patisserie stop today, I grabbed a freebie bonbon and tried to shove it into my mouth - through the mask.

Wearing a mask has made me realise how much I use my mouth to hold stuff. Yesterday I tried to hold my headphone cable in my mouth, while wearing a mask.

It didn't work..

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 20 September, 2020, 10:11:37 pm
Wearing a mask has made me realise how much I use my mouth to hold stuff. Yesterday I tried to hold my headphone cable in my mouth, while wearing a mask.

Yes, me too, especially when I lose most of a hand to the sodding stick.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 September, 2020, 10:14:41 pm

Yes, me too, especially when I lose most of a hand to the sodding stick.

When I was on crutches, the number of times I smashed them into another part of my body by forgetting they were on my arm when I let go to point, or grab something...

I'm realising how much I chew my nails, as well as just how disgusting all the hand sanitiser residue is... The stuff at the GP surgery, which had a consistency far far too like lube for comfort, has the worst taste so far.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jakob W on 20 September, 2020, 10:41:07 pm
The slimy hand sanitizer is horrible; having never seen it before the current unpleasantness, I wonder whether it's a) easier to produce than the regular stuff, and the nastiness is a trade-off against being able to produce hectolitres of it; or b) the nastiness is actively desired in an attempt to stop people using too much and/or nicking the dispensers...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 21 September, 2020, 01:00:41 am
I kick, trip over and hit myself with my stick ALL the time, so annoying, especially as I am using it in part as a visual spatial defining point and partly like a long blind cane or tactile feedback...

And yes, I've noticed the sliminess of the hand sanitiser at the local pool, doesn't dry quickly and leaves a residue on my stick handle and keeps my hands slimy even in the pool. I'm avoiding it now as the only thing I touch is my own swipe in card and stuff before getting into chlorinated water.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 September, 2020, 06:11:50 am
I can only imagine, managing with a stick for only 8 weeks really pi$$ed me off.  I generally avoid other people's hand sanitisers as well because some of the ingredients leave a residue that affects the reading on my blood glucose meter as well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 September, 2020, 08:24:06 am
Hey! Great excuse, that. Thanks, Dave!  :thumbsup:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 23 September, 2020, 10:24:12 pm
Hot off the press!!!

Before picking up a soldering iron by the bit, to see if it is cool enough to put it away, checking to see that it is unplugged is a GOOD idea.

Mebbe that should have been "Press off the hot"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 September, 2020, 10:59:39 pm
Related: Never catch a dropped smouldering iron.  Or walk barefoot around one that's in use at floor level.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 23 September, 2020, 11:09:57 pm
Related: Never catch a dropped smouldering iron.

oooh, I've learnt that lesson as well. Probably the only thing that I've had to learn just the once.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 23 September, 2020, 11:48:56 pm
Wearing a mask has made me realise how much I use my mouth to hold stuff. Yesterday I tried to hold my headphone cable in my mouth, while wearing a mask.

Yes, me too, especially when I lose most of a hand to the sodding stick.

As I said to LWaB: 'Free without one pair of crutches: one pair of hands'.

Nice thing about a wheelchair is that I'm seated and able to use hands without flailing around, grasping for a balance handhold.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 24 September, 2020, 12:09:22 am
As I said to LWaB: 'Free without one pair of crutches: one pair of hands'.

Nice thing about a wheelchair is that I'm seated and able to use hands without flailing around, grasping for a balance handhold.

Gosh, wheelchairs as empowering not 'binding' as in 'wheelchair-bound'. SHOCKER.

An abled will be along shortly to tell you how wrong you are, you POOR thing *snerk*.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 September, 2020, 12:16:35 am
I suspect that cyclists are better predisposed than most to grok the enablement aspect of a wheelchair, even if they do have some frankly peculiar tyres...  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 September, 2020, 11:04:05 am
Yesterday: Chamfered the end of a bit of wood the lazy way, using the disc of the bench sander.  Circumstances obliged me to hold it against the rising side of the disc, impatience meant that I pushed it in too hard. Natural prudence meant that the flying dust & bits of red-hot abrasive didn't get past my safety glasses; Sod's Law/Nemesis meant that they went down inside my shirt instead and burned, burned, burned. Boo-hoo.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 September, 2020, 02:09:50 pm
Related: Never catch a dropped smouldering iron.  Or walk barefoot around one that's in use at floor level.

Yesterday's lesson: Do not drip molten solder on your hand.

J

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 September, 2020, 02:10:38 pm
Yesterday: Chamfered the end of a bit of wood the lazy way, using the disc of the bench sander.  Circumstances obliged me to hold it against the rising side of the disc, impatience meant that I pushed it in too hard. Natural prudence meant that the flying dust & bits of red-hot abrasive didn't get past my safety glasses; Sod's Law/Nemesis meant that they went down inside my shirt instead and burned, burned, burned. Boo-hoo.

Yeah, when they land in one's cleavage, it hurts... I really should stop wearing low cut tops in the workshop...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 September, 2020, 02:14:25 pm

Gosh, wheelchairs as empowering not 'binding' as in 'wheelchair-bound'. SHOCKER.

An abled will be along shortly to tell you how wrong you are, you POOR thing *snerk*.

A few years ago, I spent 4 weeks in a Wheelchair. That was truly enlightening. I've moaned on here before about the block paving the Dutch use on their streets, and how uncomfortable it can be on a bike. Well in a wheel chair, yeaks... As for accessibility in general... well...

I know I occasionally make ablest slip ups, but it really has changed how I view the world.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 24 September, 2020, 05:30:50 pm
Yesterday: Chamfered the end of a bit of wood the lazy way, using the disc of the bench sander.  Circumstances obliged me to hold it against the rising side of the disc, impatience meant that I pushed it in too hard. Natural prudence meant that the flying dust & bits of red-hot abrasive didn't get past my safety glasses; Sod's Law/Nemesis meant that they went down inside my shirt instead and burned, burned, burned. Boo-hoo.

It was truly a ring of fire  ;D

Mine's the blue fleece in the corner
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 26 September, 2020, 09:58:16 pm
As the Travelling Comedy Crip Trio, a few years ago, we had fairly complementary enabling equipment and faculties.

My wheelchair acted as a walking frame and crutch carrier for LWaB, who could only partially weight bear but he could act as Barry's eyes and guide...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 September, 2020, 10:01:59 pm
You know that special sequence of button pushes that erases all data on your cycle computer? The one you can never remember because you'll never need it? Well, I still don't know what it is for mine but I did it yesterday. About 35,000km over 7 or 8 years erased. But you know? It doesn't matter. Oh, you knew that already.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 September, 2020, 11:42:40 pm
You know that special sequence of button pushes that erases all data on your cycle computer? The one you can never remember because you'll never need it? Well, I still don't know what it is for mine but I did it yesterday. About 35,000km over 7 or 8 years erased. But you know? It doesn't matter. Oh, you knew that already.  :thumbsup:

It's in the manual next to the invocation for setting the odometer to an arbitrary value.

Yeah, the one that got nibbled by meece before being leaked on by a car battery and chucked during the last house-move.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 27 September, 2020, 01:08:24 am
You know that special sequence of button pushes that erases all data on your cycle computer? The one you can never remember because you'll never need it? Well, I still don't know what it is for mine but I did it yesterday. About 35,000km over 7 or 8 years erased. But you know? It doesn't matter. Oh, you knew that already.  :thumbsup:
It's in the manual next to the invocation for setting the odometer to an arbitrary value.
Yeah, the one that got nibbled by meece before being leaked on by a car battery and chucked during the last house-move.

I just wonder if your computer did something akin to what my primitive gadget did when I did Audax. It reset everything when a ride exceeded 100,000 seconds, which was a pain on a 600km ride...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 September, 2020, 08:55:21 am
Bloody cold here so I kept the workshop door & windows shut yesterday while I diluted varnish with white spirit and spent half an hour putting the first coat on a couple of square metres of wall panelling, then washed out the brush in more white spirit.  Low-level headache and queasy gut since. Eejit.

♫ Nights in white spirit...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 September, 2020, 09:11:44 pm
At significant cost (£30) I ordered a NOS RH axle assembly from Germany for an M737 SPD pedal.  These are a bit cult in working order.

The axle unit is the same in the A525, which is totally unloved and almost worthless.  For £30, I could have bought four pairs of A525s and stripped them for parts.  Bearing damage in SPDs is quite rare, even less so on road pedals that were probably only used for a couple of years  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 September, 2020, 09:33:35 pm
You know that special sequence of button pushes that erases all data on your cycle computer? The one you can never remember because you'll never need it? Well, I still don't know what it is for mine but I did it yesterday. About 35,000km over 7 or 8 years erased. But you know? It doesn't matter. Oh, you knew that already.  :thumbsup:
It's in the manual next to the invocation for setting the odometer to an arbitrary value.
Yeah, the one that got nibbled by meece before being leaked on by a car battery and chucked during the last house-move.

I just wonder if your computer did something akin to what my primitive gadget did when I did Audax. It reset everything when a ride exceeded 100,000 seconds, which was a pain on a 600km ride...
100,000 seconds! But that's nearly for ever! Well, okay, it's a bit more than a day... No, it didn't do anything, I did the magic accidental button press – at least, I'm pretty sure I did – and I still have the manual somewhere, but really, it's not important enough. I might as well just make up a new number, maybe 999,999.99!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 27 September, 2020, 10:01:27 pm
A little under 28 hours is easily done on Audax...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 08 October, 2020, 03:23:01 pm
The ride back from work was interesting yesterday, the job I was doing had taken longer than planned so I didn't set off till half five. Which was fine but by Middle Farm it was starting to get a bit dusky, so I stopped to turn my rear light on.

To find I'd pinched the batteries for a different light which was at home on my desk. I did try knocking on one of the houses there but they had loads of AAs but no AAAs. So I started racing the darkness to Berwick but it quickly got too dark to be safe.

Ended up bodging my spare front light onto the sadlle pointing backwards - not ideal but I think better than no light. Luckily it was only a 15 minute wait for a train at Berwick given there's only one train an hour at times.

Doubly annoying as I nearly took some spare batteries but a) I expected to be leaving by four at the latest and ii) I knew the batteries in the light were practically unused. If I'd realised before leaving work I'd have been ok too as we buy them by the hundred.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 October, 2020, 01:31:40 pm
Stuck a screwdriver into the palm of my hand opening a tin of varnish. Jeez, what a twat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 09 October, 2020, 06:01:26 pm
Stuck a screwdriver into the palm of my hand opening a tin of varnish. Jeez, what a twat.
Earlier today my wife brought me two of her watches that needed batteries.  I happen to have a load of these - having recently had to buy 10 in a pack to change the batteries in my 2 classic Triumph motorcycle handlebar clocks.  I knew they'd come in handy.

Managed to prise up one easily with a Stanley knife blade.  Battery swapped, all good.  Brownie Points earned.

The next one was more tricky, the harder I tried to insert said knife blade.... and you know what's coming next.....




Yup, I downed tools, deciding that the one working watch would keep her happy whilst I ordered the correct tools off Fleabay for about a fiver.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 October, 2020, 08:30:24 pm
Chopping away at leeks, carrots, celery, garlic, potato for a slow-cooked white wine and tarragon casserole (currently stewing away). Having finished the chopping, I scooped it all into the food waste bin.

At least it was an empty bag.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 October, 2020, 12:27:19 pm
The coffee will be tastier and more satisfying iffen you remember to put the water in the 'ole, water for the pouring in rather than just leaving it in the jug.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 October, 2020, 08:18:30 pm
Ordered new tyres and inner tubes. Paid extra for delivery because I have an opportunity to ride my bike tomorrow.

Nothing. Grumble.

Go online to check, plugin tracking number. Delivered and signed for. Unfortunately at an address I lived at several years ago. Not entire divvery on my part, what happened was that I put in my address, then it offered me to opportunity to create an account. Ah, but I have an account. Request password, log back in, click checkout.

I guess it's been a while since I bought something from there. Divvery on account I didn't read the order confirmation email. I'm not optimistic I'll see that order again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 October, 2020, 08:57:16 pm
Brought barakta's glasses up the stairs with arms full of other things, so put them on.  Big mistake.  She has a much stronger prescription than me and weird prism shit that means it's not just out of focus, but the parallax is unpleasantly like being drunk.

Closed eyes and finished climbing stairs by muscle-memory, to avoid an embarrassing accident.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 20 October, 2020, 09:01:59 pm
Brought barakta's glasses up the stairs with arms full of other things, so put them on.  Big mistake.  She has a much stronger prescription than me and weird prism shit that means it's not just out of focus, but the parallax is unpleasantly like being drunk.

Closed eyes and finished climbing stairs by muscle-memory, to avoid an embarrassing accident.


_Arthur Dent_ "What's so unpleasant about being drunk ?"
   
_Ford Prefect_  "Ask a glass of water".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 October, 2020, 02:09:33 pm
Left our free-flu-vaccine authorisations on the kitchen table a couple of weeks back, thinking that MrsT would take charge of them (she has in earlier years). Turns out she thought that I would and now we can't find them. Somehow or other this is my fault...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 24 October, 2020, 01:03:01 pm
Mrs Tween got something on one of our pizza trays a while back that turned into immovable brown goop just like the stuff that accumulates on oven shelves.  So a couple of days ago I popped it into a bag with the dregs from a bottle of Oven Pride, sealed it and left it to it.  It took the brown goop off a treat  :thumbsup:  Along with most of the non-stick coating  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 24 October, 2020, 01:13:19 pm
It is usually a good idea to put the jug into the filter coffee maker before turning it on.
Going back to bed to wait for the coffee to brew does not help the situation.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 24 October, 2020, 01:21:21 pm
Clocks change and time to fit the Raceblades to the Ti road machine ready for winter - the rubber straps are long gone so it's cable ties . . . .  putting a tie around the fork, the Raceblade clip and a spoke wasn't the best method  ???  (at least I hadn't pulled the tie up tight before I noticed  :thumbsup:)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 October, 2020, 07:51:56 pm
It is usually a good idea to put the jug into the filter coffee maker before turning it on.
Going back to bed to wait for the coffee to brew does not help the situation.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N0ME209/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_wEhLFbHYQ8PQD

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 30 October, 2020, 09:54:03 am
Divvery suspected in the VPN thread (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=117308.msg2552746#msg2552746) confirmed :-(

I've been logging into plusnet periodically to see if there's anything that could do to improve my connection speed, mainly the upload due to WFH self to self emails for the porpoises of printing, scanning & diffpdf.  Yes there is but it nearly doubles the cost of my package making my line + BB cost approaching £60 a month.  Too much.  Grumble, log out, repeat in 2 months.
Except that the fibre packages include line rental, my current deal does not.  Subtract the £30 pcm I'm paying to BT and it all looks rather different.
Fill out the online switch form and the cost came down a bit but I was nervous about losing my number so before pushing the button I called.
And talking to a human the cost came down more.

From £16+£30 a month to £23 a month for 2 years with upload speed in the range x4 to x8  :thumbsup:

What. A. Berk.

(I do of course have to survive the switch process, preferably with my sanity)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 05 November, 2020, 10:03:53 am
If someone sells you a bike light explicitly stating in the advert that the reason they are selling it is that they find the battery life unsatisfactory for their purposes, it is probably a good plan to make sure that the battery is fully charged up before you use it...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 November, 2020, 10:14:16 am
Filled a homebrew fermenting vessel with caustic soda* for cleaning purposes. Left it to soak. Came back a few minutes later to find water all over the kitchen floor....

Seems I hadn't fitted the tap properly. Luckily it was a pretty weak solution.

*it's what I had handy, should probably order in some VWP
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 November, 2020, 10:29:58 am
Put in back in the barrel. You're halfway to successfully brewing Stella.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 November, 2020, 10:30:19 am
Put in back in the barrel. You're halfway to successfully brewing Stella.

 ;D

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 05 November, 2020, 10:34:52 am
Filled a homebrew fermenting vessel with caustic soda* for cleaning purposes. Left it to soak. Came back a few minutes later to find water all over the kitchen floor....

Seems I hadn't fitted the tap properly. Luckily it was a pretty weak solution.

*it's what I had handy, should probably order in some VWP

Wait till you start shifting 2 tons of beer from the copper to an FV, and you get about 100l in before realising someone forgot to close the tap on the FV and you have to run across the wet brewery to close the tap.

There are two types of brewer, those who have done this, and those who will...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 November, 2020, 11:38:15 am
There are two types of brewer, those who have done this, and those who will...

One of the reasons it's best I keep it small scale. I would be absolutely guaranteed to do this more than once.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 November, 2020, 01:16:27 pm
It could be worse (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leRg2gttARo).

There was also the infamous London Beer Flood of 1814 where a small tsunami of beer through the crowded streets of St Giles killed eight people.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 05 November, 2020, 02:36:40 pm
It could be worse (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leRg2gttARo).

There was also the infamous London Beer Flood of 1814 where a small tsunami of beer through the crowded streets of St Giles killed eight people.

Drowned in beer that's how I'd like to go, as opposed to pickled in cheap red wine ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 November, 2020, 03:22:26 pm
It could be worse (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leRg2gttARo).

Paging the Little Dutch Boy...

Quote
There was also the infamous London Beer Flood of 1814 where a small tsunami of beer through the crowded streets of St Giles killed eight people.

And the great Boston molasses flood of 1919 (https://youtu.be/okIkxYgfSzY).

Apparently they were making munitions with it.

ETA: this account looks more entertaining. https://youtu.be/iMPGm3OSvMg
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 November, 2020, 03:26:23 pm
It could be worse (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leRg2gttARo).

The woman attempting to catch the spillage in a jug is nothing if not optimistic.  ;D

I have to say this video is a strong argument against keg beer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 November, 2020, 03:32:55 pm
My own bit of divvinity today: Using the wee Katsu edge trimmer I rounded over the edges of the chopping-board I've just made.  Unfortunately I didn't tighten the locknut on the base clasp - in theory I shouldn't need to, but Katsu being a cheap knock-off I really should have. Anyway, for 7 edges it was perfect but on n°8 it slowly descended about a millimetre and took an unwanted rebate out of the top of the board.  Going to have to saw off the entire side and do it over. One is pissed off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 05 November, 2020, 04:44:43 pm
My own bit of divvinity today: Using the wee Katsu edge trimmer I rounded over the edges of the chopping-board I've just made.  Unfortunately I didn't tighten the locknut on the base clasp - in theory I shouldn't need to, but Katsu being a cheap knock-off I really should have. Anyway, for 7 edges it was perfect but on n°8 it slowly descended about a millimetre and took an unwanted rebate out of the top of the board.  Going to have to saw off the entire side and do it over. One is pissed off.

I feel your pain - I failed to lock the plunge on the router in my table - the 6mm slot I was routing caused the router lift bit to rise and there's a hole near the end of the slot  >:(      [Now have a Dymo label on the fence of the table "Lock Plunge" ]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 November, 2020, 05:02:41 pm
My own bit of divvinity today: Using the wee Katsu edge trimmer I rounded over the edges of the chopping-board I've just made.  Unfortunately I didn't tighten the locknut on the base clasp - in theory I shouldn't need to, but Katsu being a cheap knock-off I really should have. Anyway, for 7 edges it was perfect but on n°8 it slowly descended about a millimetre and took an unwanted rebate out of the top of the board.  Going to have to saw off the entire side and do it over. One is pissed off.

I feel your pain - I failed to lock the plunge on the router in my table - the 6mm slot I was routing caused the router lift bit to rise and there's a hole near the end of the slot  >:(      [Now have a Dymo label on the fence of the table "Lock Plunge" ]

If I had a pound for every time that's happened to me in the last 30 years...  that, and starting my wee Bosch router with the locking bar still through the spindle. Says a lot for it that it didn't even stink of hot insulation.

I love routers, but I still find them terrifying.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 05 November, 2020, 05:10:04 pm

If I had a pound for every time that's happened to me in the last 30 years...  that, and starting my wee Bosch router with the locking bar still through the spindle. Says a lot for it that it didn't even stink of hot insulation.

I love routers, but I still find them terrifying.

For reasons I'm not quite sure of, table saws terrify me more than routers...

J
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 05 November, 2020, 05:58:19 pm
If someone sells you a bike light explicitly stating in the advert that the reason they are selling it is that they find the battery life unsatisfactory for their purposes, it is probably a good plan to make sure that the battery is fully charged up before you use it...
Sorry!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 05 November, 2020, 07:02:51 pm

If I had a pound for every time that's happened to me in the last 30 years...  that, and starting my wee Bosch router with the locking bar still through the spindle. Says a lot for it that it didn't even stink of hot insulation.

I love routers, but I still find them terrifying.

For reasons I'm not quite sure of, table saws terrify me more than routers...

J

Yep - my table saw is worrying . . .  although since I bought a track-saw I've not used it anywhere near as much.   What's even more concerning is the YouTube vids from the USA that you see with no blade guard ... and the use of the "dado stack" to cut slots  (I understand that here/in the EU it's illegal to run an unguarded table saw and the saws we can (normally) buy don't have a spindle for a dado stack)
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: fimm on 06 November, 2020, 04:31:02 pm
If someone sells you a bike light explicitly stating in the advert that the reason they are selling it is that they find the battery life unsatisfactory for their purposes, it is probably a good plan to make sure that the battery is fully charged up before you use it...
Sorry!
Entirely not your fault - this is the "I'm such a div" thread, after all.
(I'd used it once and didn't charge it before going out again...)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 November, 2020, 05:01:12 pm

If I had a pound for every time that's happened to me in the last 30 years...  that, and starting my wee Bosch router with the locking bar still through the spindle. Says a lot for it that it didn't even stink of hot insulation.

I love routers, but I still find them terrifying.

For reasons I'm not quite sure of, table saws terrify me more than routers...

J

Yep - my table saw is worrying . . .  although since I bought a track-saw I've not used it anywhere near as much.   What's even more concerning is the YouTube vids from the USA that you see with no blade guard ... and the use of the "dado stack" to cut slots  (I understand that here/in the EU it's illegal to run an unguarded table saw and the saws we can (normally) buy don't have a spindle for a dado stack)

Illegal in professional workshops, I suppose.  I run mine without quite a lot because the wretched guard is designed to stop you seeing what you're doing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 06 November, 2020, 07:02:00 pm
Illegal in professional workshops, I suppose.  I run mine without quite a lot because the wretched guard is designed to stop you seeing what you're doing.

Illegal to sell. You can take the guard off if you want, but it has to be sold with it in .EU.

There's lots of other rules about it. That make it a lot safer here. US table saw use scares the crap out of my on youtube...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 November, 2020, 09:33:59 pm
Most H&S laws were brought in to stop exploitation of workers by unscrupulous managers he’ll bent on cutting corners to save a few pennies.  Unguarded table saw use is like a lot of safety stuff, if you know what ou are doing and proceed with caution it’s not unsafe.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 November, 2020, 11:03:00 pm
"Unsafe" is somewhat subjective.

The legislation is not there to protect those who understand the risk and know what they are doing, but to protect, as an example, the young apprentice who being only 16 does not have a fully developed appreciation of what risk really means
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 07 November, 2020, 08:16:37 am
Illegal in professional workshops, I suppose.  I run mine without quite a lot because the wretched guard is designed to stop you seeing what you're doing.

Illegal to sell. You can take the guard off if you want, but it has to be sold with it in .EU.

There's lots of other rules about it. That make it a lot safer here. US table saw use scares the crap out of my on youtube...

J

It surprises me that there isn't some sort of interlock on the guard to stop the saw being used without it - the planer/thicknesser I have has a couple of micro-switches that the guard activates in either operating mode.

 A US (or may have been Canadian) YouTube video I watched the other day mentioned that a table saw had a "flesh detector" that stopped it instantly if it sensed fingers or any other part of the body  - not sure if it was a spoof or for real?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 07 November, 2020, 09:32:37 am
The only system I know that does that (there may be others that do it differently) isn't as good as it looks.

The promo video gives the impression, I feel, that it's resettable. Detects finger, stops blade, and then after a reset you can carry on.

Not quite. I'm not sure how the detection step works, but the stop the blade aspect basically uses a small explosive charge to launch a lump of metal into the blade to make it slam to a stop. I guess even the fanciest brake wouldn't be fast enough.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: robgul on 07 November, 2020, 09:41:48 am
The only system I know that does that (there may be others that do it differently) isn't as good as it looks.

The promo video gives the impression, I feel, that it's resettable. Detects finger, stops blade, and then after a reset you can carry on.

Not quite. I'm not sure how the detection step works, but the stop the blade aspect basically uses a small explosive charge to launch a lump of metal into the blade to make it slam to a stop. I guess even the fanciest brake wouldn't be fast enough.

Can you then run the machine backwards to re-attach the fingers?  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 07 November, 2020, 10:47:13 am
The stop saw system from a hand surgeons point of view is either a brilliant idea reducing our workload or an awful idea removing fun operations reattaching fingers. The difference depends or your psychopath index rating😀
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 November, 2020, 08:54:10 am
The SawStop system is real and has been demonstrated by a number of YouTubers, mostly with ‘Wieners’ used to simulate fingers. It seems to be very effective although I believe it carries quite a premium and the blade stop system is a one shot device that needs to be replaced after it has been fired. I believe that the saw is inoperable without an active stop cartridge.

https://youtu.be/NV6Jhw0hhBI
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 November, 2020, 11:53:27 am
Given that saw parts are a lot easier to replace than fingers, that seems like a reasonable trade-off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 08 November, 2020, 04:04:53 pm
I needed to remove the pedals from one of my bikes. They are the sort with no pedal spanner flats, just an 8mm Allen key hole at the back. And, yes, I remembered the the lh pedal has a lh thread. That didn’t stop me from forgetting that, viewed from the back, that means it would appear to be right handed, so I spent a happy half hour tightening my pedals, cracking one of my carbon bottle cages in the process.  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 10 November, 2020, 12:17:04 pm
Divery dates back to March, came to light recently.

Back in March I replaced the diverter valve for the heating control, so far so good. The problem was I failed to put the wiring back in the way it came out.  :facepalm:

The result was that the heating valve bypassed the boiler ignition. If the hot water ran then the boiler would light and the heating would also work, but if the cylinder was hot then the boiler wouldn't light.

One heating call out later and it's found and fixed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 10 November, 2020, 06:22:05 pm
Divery dates back to March, came to light recently.

Back in March I replaced the diverter valve for the heating control, so far so good. The problem was I failed to put the wiring back in the way it came out.  :facepalm:

The result was that the heating valve bypassed the boiler ignition. If the hot water ran then the boiler would light and the heating would also work, but if the cylinder was hot then the boiler wouldn't light.

One heating call out later and it's found and fixed.
I am paranoid of doing things like that, so I photograph wiring etc before disassembly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 11 November, 2020, 10:54:51 pm
It could be worse (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leRg2gttARo).

 ;D

Rather more spectacular than any of the beer showers I got at the real ale festivals.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 13 November, 2020, 12:59:50 pm
Not sure if this is for here or the tool junkie thread?

I've just insulated and plasterboarded the ceiling of my garage/workshop - which involved taking down the ceiling mounted dust/air-fliter (box about as big as a milk-crate)  ..... while I was at it I thought I'd move the filter and make a better "cradle" bolted to the ceiling joists for the machine to sit in. 

So far so good - cradle made ... bolted it to the joists in the new position with some hefty coach screws ... looks good.

Went to open one of the ex-kitchen wall cupboards . . .  . yep, door hit the cradle frame :facepalm:    Cue swearing and subsequent re-positioning of the cradle on the ceiling.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 November, 2020, 09:44:37 am
When your computer tells you it wants to update to Big Sur, the correct answer is not "Yeah, why not" - at least, not until you've confirmed that certain critical bits of software will still work after the update... :facepalm:


(Actually, it's not so much that the software doesn't work but that I can only use the newest version, and not the older version that I need.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 November, 2020, 10:07:18 am
When your computer tells you it wants to update to Big Sur, the correct answer is not "Yeah, why not" - at least, not until you've confirmed that certain critical bits of software will still work after the update... :facepalm:


(Actually, it's not so much that the software doesn't work but that I can only use the newest version, and not the older version that I need.)

I ran into something like that with Photoshop: the 2020 version doesn't work with my Windows 7 so I had to stay with the 2019 one.  I didn't get a discount from Adobe, though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 November, 2020, 10:55:07 am
When your computer tells you it wants to update to Big Sur, the correct answer is not "Yeah, why not" - at least, not until you've confirmed that certain critical bits of software will still work after the update... :facepalm:


(Actually, it's not so much that the software doesn't work but that I can only use the newest version, and not the older version that I need.)

I ran into something like that with Photoshop: the 2020 version doesn't work with my Windows 7 so I had to stay with the 2019 one.  I didn't get a discount from Adobe, though.

Adobe stuff is backwards compatible but never forwards. Indesign 2021 works with Big Sur but no previous versions. We're still using 2019 at work, which is fine because my laptop isn't my work computer, but I do sometimes use it for work when I want to go into flexidesk mode. Debating whether the convenience is worth the faff of rolling back...

(I could save any files I work on as idml so my colleagues still stuck in 2019 can open them, but that brings its own problems.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 November, 2020, 03:42:39 pm
Doesn’t the 2020 version of the software allow you to save the file for an earlier version?
Title: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 November, 2020, 04:40:34 pm
Doesn’t the 2020 version of the software allow you to save the file for an earlier version?
That’s what idml is, but it’s not perfect, for various reasons.

If you have a CC account, you can open newer files with an older version, but it basically does that by converting it to idml.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 14 November, 2020, 04:55:37 pm
Time to put Mrs hatler's mudguards on. Should be a 2 minute job - SKS raceblades.

I cunningly put one pair of the skewer clips in one of the guards. Could I find the other pair ?

Could I bollocks.

Spent 2 hours turning the garage upside down. Then stopped to think logically. Where would be a good place for them. Hmmm. On a spare skewer. Don't have any spare skewers. Oh yes I do, in all the wheels hanging on the wall.

Doh !
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 22 November, 2020, 12:20:37 pm
Having put the carbon bike away for the winter got the Ti roadbike out - tyres pumped up (I'd fitted the raceblades a couple of weeks ago) - set off up the road and realised that the length of pipe-lagging (the grey stuff like an elephant's trunk) that protects the crossbar/toptube when the bike is hanging up was still in situ  :facepalm:

Did think of stuffing it down my shorts* and carrying but thought better of it and rode the half a mile back home before setting off again for about 28 miles.

* yes, shorts - not cold here and i have the dubious benefit of having minimal feeling in my feet as a result of having chemo.  Did see one other rider in shorts and he had a short-sleeve jersey . . . a step too far.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 November, 2020, 12:25:01 pm
I have seen people leave that stuff on permanently as extra parking protection and uglification. But on commuting bikes not Ti bling!

I also saw a rider in shorts yesterday. He didn't have a short-sleeved top (well actually he did, but with arm warmers) he also had a not so attractive brown arse stripe. No race blades for him.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 22 November, 2020, 12:36:47 pm
Did think of stuffing it down my shorts*

"Is that pipe lagging in your shorts or are you really enjoying your ride?"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 22 November, 2020, 03:11:44 pm
Did think of stuffing it down my shorts*

"Is that pipe lagging in your shorts or are you really enjoying your ride?"

That was what concerned me if I had stopped at the usual cafe for coffee . . . .  (I didn't as the queue of cyclists waiting to order was about 10 or 12 strong)

... and on the bling aspect - a neighbour where we used to live had some horrible 1990s Halfords MTB that was covered in lagging on all main tubes . .   he was concerned about the bike being nicked when he was at the gym/leisure centre.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 22 November, 2020, 04:17:23 pm
Thanks to Diver300 and Fuaran I now know what a (bleeding obvious if I’d half thought about it) “switched live” is  ::-)

However my PIR sensor now works my shed lights. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 22 November, 2020, 07:23:08 pm
Thanks to Diver300 and Fuaran I now know what a (bleeding obvious if I’d half thought about it) “switched live” is  ::-)

However my PIR sensor now works my shed lights.
I'm glad you got it working. That also disqualifies you from adding your post to this thread.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 22 November, 2020, 09:53:05 pm
I'm not a div! I'm not a div!

Before preparing The Anniversary Card for tomorrow, I checked, and it's the day AFTER tomorrow.

Fuck me but that was close.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 23 November, 2020, 06:57:05 am
I have seen people leave that stuff on permanently as extra parking protection and uglification. But on commuting bikes not Ti bling!

I also saw a rider in shorts yesterday. He didn't have a short-sleeved top (well actually he did, but with arm warmers) he also had a not so attractive brown arse stripe. No race blades for him.

I went out in winter longs, base layer, long sleeved jersey, warm gloves on Saturday.  Add me to the divvery list, feck it was warm out of the wind
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 23 November, 2020, 07:44:04 am
Having put the carbon bike away for the winter got the Ti roadbike out - tyres pumped up (I'd fitted the raceblades a couple of weeks ago) - set off up the road and realised that the length of pipe-lagging (the grey stuff like an elephant's trunk) that protects the crossbar/toptube when the bike is hanging up was still in situ  :facepalm:

Did think of stuffing it down my shorts* and carrying but thought better of it and rode the half a mile back home before setting off again for about 28 miles.

* yes, shorts - not cold here and i have the dubious benefit of having minimal feeling in my feet as a result of having chemo.  Did see one other rider in shorts and he had a short-sleeve jersey . . . a step too far.

Whilst out for a walk yesterday I spotted a cyclist in shorts and a short sleeve top.  It was not by any stretch a warm day.  If I had been running even I would have had long sleeves on yesterday.  I have been doing my runs in shorts and a tee since mid March. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 November, 2020, 01:01:40 pm
My temperature calibration is completely broken this year.  Once it dropped below 15C, I was in full winter kit and still feeling a bit cold.  Which is ridiculous, as I'd normally be happy in a jersey, 3/4 and baselayer down to about 12C, and thinking about getting the arm warmers out at 10.   ???

I think I'm turning into Butterfly or something.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 24 November, 2020, 12:27:53 am
I'm not a div! I'm not a div!

Before preparing The Anniversary Card for tomorrow, I checked, and it's the day AFTER tomorrow.

Fuck me but that was close.

That's bad forward planning. Thanks to my foresight (ok, concidence) I am able to check the date of my wedding anniversary using wikipedia.

I just check the birthday of that notorious former German chancellor and fuhrer
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 24 November, 2020, 09:49:50 am
We originally planned to get married on Christmas Eve which is equidistant between Sarah’s birthday and Christmas Day thus making my task of tracking significant dates very easy indeed. This was kyboshed by my MiL when my SiL then husband decided to leave his wife on the day we formally got engaged that being Sarah’s birthday one year before our planned wedding and their 7th wedding anniversary. My MiL decreed it not a good time of year to marry.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 November, 2020, 10:13:24 am
That's bad forward planning. Thanks to my foresight (ok, concidence) I am able to check the date of my wedding anniversary using wikipedia.

I was careful to make sure our anniversary was easy to remember by getting married on the same date that Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction, decreeing that Habsburg possessions could be inherited by a daughter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 24 November, 2020, 11:31:29 am
That's bad forward planning. Thanks to my foresight (ok, concidence) I am able to check the date of my wedding anniversary using wikipedia.

I was careful to make sure our anniversary was easy to remember by getting married on the same date that Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction, decreeing that Habsburg possessions could be inherited by a daughter.

Ditto on a memorable date - UK declaration of war for WW2
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 24 November, 2020, 12:06:10 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*






* I suspect he has.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 24 November, 2020, 12:54:32 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*

My wife and I have the same birthday. She said no to getting married on that day, I tried.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 November, 2020, 01:24:29 pm
That's bad forward planning. Thanks to my foresight (ok, concidence) I am able to check the date of my wedding anniversary using wikipedia.

I was careful to make sure our anniversary was easy to remember by getting married on the same date that Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction, decreeing that Habsburg possessions could be inherited by a daughter.

Ditto on a memorable date - UK declaration of war for WW2

And us 3 days earlier - the date Germany attacked Poland. And it also turned out to be the day, month and year that Gaddafi took over Libya, not that we were paying attention.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 24 November, 2020, 02:15:50 pm
Customer rang up after a part. I run a parts department so this is normal

Types in number. Yes we have. I'll just go and check condition as for older coaches

Can't find it. Hunt and hunt. Tell customer I'll call back. Hunt some more. Log into old computer system to double check location and hunt some more

Then realise we are showing it in stock on one of our mobile tech vans not in the main store.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Legs on 24 November, 2020, 02:24:35 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*

* I suspect he has.

I forgot my nineteenth birthday.  I was staying in NZ with my uncle and aunt, and went out on Farewell Spit with my uncle early in the morning to see the migratory shorebirds, then rode back as far as Takaka (on a crappy borrowed MTB).  My uncle picked me up and brought me back for lunch at Dovedale where my aunt and cousin had baked me a cake!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 24 November, 2020, 02:26:59 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*

My wife and I have the same birthday. She said no to getting married on that day, I tried.
Finding a partner with the same DOB (ensuring that that date, at least, won't be forgotten) shows much more forethought than simply convincing someone, who presumably wants to marry you, to do so on a particular date.

That's evil genius level forethought.

Also, presumably, cut down on a lot of unnecessary dating.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 November, 2020, 02:32:51 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*

My wife and I have the same birthday. She said no to getting married on that day, I tried.
Finding a partner with the same DOB (ensuring that that date, at least, won't be forgotten) shows much more forethought than simply convincing someone, who presumably wants to marry you, to do so on a particular date.

That's evil genius level forethought.

Also, presumably, cut down on a lot of unnecessary dating.
Though whether that makes up for the legal and moral shenanigans involved in marrying your twin...  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 24 November, 2020, 04:45:25 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*

My wife and I have the same birthday. She said no to getting married on that day, I tried.
Finding a partner with the same DOB (ensuring that that date, at least, won't be forgotten) shows much more forethought than simply convincing someone, who presumably wants to marry you, to do so on a particular date.

That's evil genius level forethought.

Also, presumably, cut down on a lot of unnecessary dating.
My youngest sister shares her birthday with her husband, though there is a year between their ages. However a January wedding would have been pushing it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 24 November, 2020, 04:47:24 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*

* I suspect he has.

I forgot my nineteenth birthday.  I was staying in NZ with my uncle and aunt, and went out on Farewell Spit with my uncle early in the morning to see the migratory shorebirds, then rode back as far as Takaka (on a crappy borrowed MTB).  My uncle picked me up and brought me back for lunch at Dovedale where my aunt and cousin had baked me a cake!

I regularly forget my own birthday...








and everyone else's
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Marco Stefano on 24 November, 2020, 05:57:24 pm
My wife and I know it's our wedding anniversary when we receive a card from her mother.

We're not really bothered; although it is a good excuse (if one were needed) to open a bottle of something.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 30 November, 2020, 10:16:12 pm
Just remembered the car tax is due tomorrow, but can't find the V11.

Never mind, I can use the V5 instead. Lucky I know exactly where it is filed away...

Oh.


ETA: Had another look. It had been misfiled. Phew. I will be able to sleep tonight.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 02 December, 2020, 06:01:58 pm
I knew that my tool kit on the folder only had two tyre levers in it so when I snappped one last night I had to make do with one complete lever and one half lever.

On tipping out the tool bag to bin the broken bits, and put my new levers in today, what did I find? Yes, a third lever tucked in there. That would have been really handy in the cold and dark last night  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Threade
Post by: Beardy on 02 December, 2020, 09:08:57 pm
I flew my drone this afternoon out in the wilds of Suffolk. What with it being muddy and everything, I took off from stop my car in spite of the drone complaining about compass calibrations and magnets.

Enjoyed flying it around. Battery warning. Press Return to Home.

You’re ahead of me aren’t you?

The drone dutifully flies towards the car at its appointed hight and starts to land. It’s off a bit possibly because of magnetic interference. But it’s going to try and land around the aerial. I stop the auto landing sequence and decide to do it manually. Looks like you were wrong  :)

Did I mention it was muddy? Well I can’t land it on the ground then. So I reach out to hand catch it. No worries, I’ve done this before! My thumb is still very very sore and it’s probably going to scar, my index finger is less sore. I didn’t drop the drone though, but it did get a bit splattered.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: davelodwig on 02 December, 2020, 09:43:46 pm
And you are all doing it wrong, my father got married on his birthday! Try forgetting that anniversary*

* I suspect he has.

I forgot my nineteenth birthday.  I was staying in NZ with my uncle and aunt, and went out on Farewell Spit with my uncle early in the morning to see the migratory shorebirds, then rode back as far as Takaka (on a crappy borrowed MTB).  My uncle picked me up and brought me back for lunch at Dovedale where my aunt and cousin had baked me a cake!

I regularly forget my own birthday...








and everyone else's

I was renowned for forgetting Birthdays and was cornered at a family gathering about it, but I forget my own I pleaded, it's only mum sending me a card that reminds me.  One year I was so busy I had ignored the post for a week or two and missed my 29th birthday.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 December, 2020, 12:02:40 am
Note to self: your SCIENCE will work a lot better once you realise that the name of a well-known Netherlands-based lorry manufacturer is spelled “D-A-F” and not “D-E-F” :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 03 December, 2020, 12:29:19 am
Note to self: your SCIENCE will work a lot better once you realise that the name of a well-known Netherlands-based lorry manufacturer is spelled “D-A-F” and not “D-E-F” :facepalm:
PARDON?
 ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 03 December, 2020, 07:29:13 pm
The past day I have been designing with scraps of paper and data sheets and my hopeless imagination a mains distribution box to replace the chain of multisockets attached to my home cinema stuff.  I counted the boxes 8 and the connectors they use.
1 C8 on the Philips TV (the little figure of eight type)
2 C14 my old power amps.  This is the type of inlet usually used on desktop computers 
5 C18 the earthless version of the C14

Then I upset myself.  You cannot buy C17 wire-able plugs. Its not allowed. The IEC said no so component makers do not make them.

I started to write a rant then stupid me remembered C13 which has three holes can fit the same shape inlet with two pins.

So design change all outlets will be C13  with earth hole. Seven cables C14 to C13 and one to C7
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 03 December, 2020, 07:40:24 pm
The past day I have been designing with scraps of paper and data sheets and my hopeless imagination a mains distribution box to replace the chain of multisockets attached to my home cinema stuff.  I counted the boxes 8 and the connectors they use.
1 C8 on the Philips TV (the little figure of eight type)
2 C14 my old power amps.  This is the type of inlet usually used on desktop computers 
5 C18 the earthless version of the C14

Then I upset myself.  You cannot buy C17 wire-able plugs. Its not allowed. The IEC said no so component makers do not make them.

I started to write a rant then stupid me remembered C13 which has three holes can fit the same shape inlet with two pins.

So design change all outlets will be C13  with earth hole. Seven cables C14 to C13 and one to C7
You can buy leads with a single 13A or C14 plug and two or three C13 socket.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Threade
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 December, 2020, 07:52:53 pm
I flew my drone this afternoon out in the wilds of Suffolk. What with it being muddy and everything, I took off from stop my car in spite of the drone complaining about compass calibrations and magnets.

Enjoyed flying it around. Battery warning. Press Return to Home.

You’re ahead of me aren’t you?

The drone dutifully flies towards the car at its appointed hight and starts to land. It’s off a bit possibly because of magnetic interference. But it’s going to try and land around the aerial. I stop the auto landing sequence and decide to do it manually. Looks like you were wrong  :)

Did I mention it was muddy? Well I can’t land it on the ground then. So I reach out to hand catch it. No worries, I’ve done this before! My thumb is still very very sore and it’s probably going to scar, my index finger is less sore. I didn’t drop the drone though, but it did get a bit splattered.
Why can't the drone land on mud? Because vital bits will get clogged up, or just because it's a pain to clean? Or something else?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 03 December, 2020, 08:05:11 pm
The past day I have been designing with scraps of paper and data sheets and my hopeless imagination a mains distribution box to replace the chain of multisockets attached to my home cinema stuff.  I counted the boxes 8 and the connectors they use.

-- cut --

You can buy leads with a single 13A or C14 plug and two or three C13 socket.

I am doing it properly every output is individually switched and fused.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Threade
Post by: Beardy on 04 December, 2020, 06:33:29 pm
I flew my drone this afternoon out in the wilds of Suffolk. What with it being muddy and everything, I took off from stop my car in spite of the drone complaining about compass calibrations and magnets.

Enjoyed flying it around. Battery warning. Press Return to Home.

You’re ahead of me aren’t you?

The drone dutifully flies towards the car at its appointed hight and starts to land. It’s off a bit possibly because of magnetic interference. But it’s going to try and land around the aerial. I stop the auto landing sequence and decide to do it manually. Looks like you were wrong  :)

Did I mention it was muddy? Well I can’t land it on the ground then. So I reach out to hand catch it. No worries, I’ve done this before! My thumb is still very very sore and it’s probably going to scar, my index finger is less sore. I didn’t drop the drone though, but it did get a bit splattered.
Why can't the drone land on mud? Because vital bits will get clogged up, or just because it's a pain to clean? Or something else?
There was a choice of mud, either lumpy ploughed field or slurry of questionable origin over broken concrete. The LPF was not suitable because it would not have provided a sufficiently large level patch for landing and the SQO would have been a pain to clean and might have got sucked into the drone vitals.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 December, 2020, 02:38:01 pm
Stopped at a patisserie on my ride this afternoon. Completely forgot to put a mask on, so I backed out, disinterred the item from a back pocket and advanced through the doorway again.  Tried to put the loops over my ears but it didn't work because I was wearing a balaclava, so I just held them together at the back of my neck.  Three steps inside and one exhalation later my glasses were completely opaque.  I lifted them with the other hand, which was also carrying a winter glove: this flopped across my left eye.  Serving lassie approaches. "Any chocolate chip cookies?" "No. See anything else you like?"  "Can't see anything. Ah, forget it. Bye bye."  :'(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 07 December, 2020, 01:12:53 pm
Me. Dog walk this morning and found I didn't have the roll of poo bags I thought I had in my pocket when our mini horse did what they do. Found said roll on doorstep and went back to deal with as cannot abide people who don't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 December, 2020, 04:32:40 pm
Cutting yourself while shaving is just one of those things, but cutting your finger while shaving is quite special.

No, I'm not a werewolf. I was looking in the mirror, holding the razor in one hand in mid air, when I suddenly moved the other hand for some reason and the two collided. Middle finger. Painless, as they are, but lots of blood.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 11 December, 2020, 01:01:46 am
This morning I drove 250 miles to see my dad and drop of Christmas presents. I didn’t bother calling him first because he doesn’t go out on Wednesdays.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 11 December, 2020, 08:39:46 am
I just opened the living room curtains & somehow pulled the curtain rail off the wall.   All 4 plastic mounting clips sheared in 2.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 11 December, 2020, 07:43:30 pm
I am pleased to report the curtain rail I installed here in 1999 has remained in situ, despite the failure of two previous curtain rails, as evidenced by two sets of holes above the window.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 11 December, 2020, 09:46:07 pm
The curtain rail was there when I bought the flat in 198mumbly......   I'm now faced with trying to find the same "Swish" fixings in the few open shops likely to have such stuff in central Liverpool.  I've a feeling I'm restricted to Wilko or John Lewis.   My left knee is knackered at the moment so I don't fancy a bike ride to B&Q. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 December, 2020, 04:28:11 pm
I bought a secondhand ADSL router to solve the intermittent 5Ghz WiFi connection on my shite Plusnet One router (which is a known issue Plusnet cannot fix).

The Netgear D6200 doesn't work on FttC.  That's why it was so cheap  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 December, 2020, 05:07:18 pm
I bought a secondhand ADSL router to solve the intermittent 5Ghz WiFi connection on my shite Plusnet One router (which is a known issue Plusnet cannot fix).

The Netgear D6200 doesn't work on FttC.  That's why it was so cheap  :facepalm:
will it work as a wireless bridge?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 December, 2020, 05:23:42 pm
Probably, but the clutter is prohibitive.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 15 December, 2020, 11:59:36 am
Make the jump to a (Deco) mesh?  Not cheap at around £150 but really good (and will reach a garden shed 35m away in my case.).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 December, 2020, 03:24:21 pm
You know that moment when you've got your Sealskinz socks on with bib tights that have stirrups, your middle layer on top and your winter jacket over the lot, then you finally work your foot into a shoe and realize that yet again you've forgotten to cut your toenails? Guess who said bugger that I haven't the time?

Right big toe's companion now in a state of ouch. :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 December, 2020, 06:22:48 pm
My worst experience with bib tights was when I put the base layer on over the top of the straps, and then had a bathroom emergency.  Now I put the base layer on first, bib-tights straps over the top.  One less layer between me and bowel comfort
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 December, 2020, 06:36:20 pm
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?

Yes, exactly like that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 25 December, 2020, 11:30:04 am
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?

Yes, exactly like that.
You have my sympathy. I did similar when out running, but replace box of stuffs with semi buried steel stake placed for tying up boats on. I’m still waiting for the toe nail to grow back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 27 December, 2020, 04:20:33 pm
My worst experience with bib tights was when I put the base layer on over the top of the straps, and then had a bathroom emergency.  Now I put the base layer on first, bib-tights straps over the top.  One less layer between me and bowel comfort

Be grateful you are not queueueing for the Ladies toilets behind a bib-longs wearer, in the deep midwinter...

(There is a REASON I never got bibs...)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 December, 2020, 06:26:44 pm
My worst experience with bib tights was when I put the base layer on over the top of the straps, and then had a bathroom emergency.  Now I put the base layer on first, bib-tights straps over the top.  One less layer between me and bowel comfort

Be grateful you are not queueueing for the Ladies toilets behind a bib-longs wearer, in the deep midwinter...

Especially if there's a limited supply of bogroll and they're going to use the rest of it drying the straps off after they end up in the bowl...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 27 December, 2020, 07:09:05 pm
My worst experience with bib tights was when I put the base layer on over the top of the straps, and then had a bathroom emergency.  Now I put the base layer on first, bib-tights straps over the top.  One less layer between me and bowel comfort

Be grateful you are not queueueing for the Ladies toilets behind a bib-longs wearer, in the deep midwinter...

Especially if there's a limited supply of bogroll and they're going to use the rest of it drying the straps off after they end up in the bowl...
You don’t carry your own supply when doing things with lots of people.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 28 December, 2020, 11:05:22 am
Oh dear, I'm getting old. I wanted to the roots of a quadratic equation. I found that I had forgotten the formula I learned for 'O' level maths. No problem so I completed the square on ax2 + bx + c = 0. Eventually got the formula now I can not remember the quadratic equation I wanted to solve or I why I wanted to solve it in the first place.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 January, 2021, 08:34:18 pm
Top tip: Next time you accidentally hoover up an important pingfuckit along with a little pile of swarf, try to ensure that it's a metal one.

After going through the stages of grief of a parent who is about 75% certain they saw a toddler swallow something inappropriate, this evening's entertainment culminated in dissecting a very full hoover bag and going through the contents mostly by touch, outside the back door, by the light of a head torch, in the freezing drizzle.

Go the bastard thing in the end, though.  Grey plastic.  What were they thinking?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 04 January, 2021, 11:33:21 am
My credit card bill arrived this morning.  The balance seemed odd. So assuming I'd forgotten about some purchase, I looked at the detail. That didn't seem to make any sense.
And then it dawned on me.
I looked at the balance again and this time I did notice the little minus sign.
I'd paid last month twice.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 07 January, 2021, 08:47:29 pm
Seeing a discussion on a cycling Facebook page about pedal spanners reminded me of this from around 10 years ago

Off to the orkneys, had our bikes with us, popped into Tiso an awesome outdoor shop in Inverness (not sure if it's still awesome as think they may have been sold) and wandering round realised my cycling shoes were hundreds of miles away down south. I was also running the ting SPD pedals you can't ride comfortably in normal shoes so ended up buying some flat pedals and a brilliant pedal spanner which was in the bargain bin
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 January, 2021, 11:37:17 pm
I have a copy of my music collection on an SD card in the car.

The other day I went to copy some more stuffs to it to be told I had run out of space. Since then i have bought even more music, so Something Needed to Be Done.

This evening I went shoping, having made a mental note to eject the SD card to check the size. Got to Mr Tesco's House of Tooth Comestibles and forgot to eject it. Never mind, I was sure the existing one was 32GB so a 64GB would do nicely.

Got home, plugged the new! shiny! 64GB card into my computer and attmempted to copy all my music to it. Not enough space. Obvs.

Arse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TimC on 08 January, 2021, 03:22:07 am
Jeez. I had to trim mine down to fit in 256Gb! I think the master collection on my music PC is approaching 500 Gb.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 January, 2021, 12:30:45 pm
EDF want meter readings.  Clearing the TPsOC from in front of the the cupboard in which the 'leccy meter lurks is tedious, but simple.  The gas meter, however, lives in a box outside.  And while unlocking it I dropped the key.  Into a bush.  A horrible bush with horrible spiky leaves with horrible spikes on them :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 11 January, 2021, 12:43:52 pm
EDF want meter readings.  Clearing the TPsOC from in front of the the cupboard in which the 'leccy meter lurks is tedious, but simple.  The gas meter, however, lives in a box outside.  And while unlocking it I dropped the key.  Into a bush.  A horrible bush with horrible spiky leaves with horrible spikes on them :facepalm:

Naturally you'll be fitting the key with a Mk 1 bit-of-string, so that when you drop it next time it'll be extra-fun to untangle from the spikes?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 11 January, 2021, 04:34:49 pm
Or using long nose pliers for opening the gas cupboard
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 11 January, 2021, 11:38:56 pm
Magnet onna stick? Unless placcy key.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 11 January, 2021, 11:44:06 pm
Or using long nose pliers for opening the gas cupboard

You'll still have to fish them out of the bush when you drop them, but at least you'll have something handy to pull the thorns out with...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 January, 2021, 12:08:20 am
Magnet onna stick? Unless placcy key.

Yep, plastic.  With a triangular hole in the end to prevent scratters from opening the box with pliers.

I wot not the variety of horrible spiky bush I have lurking outside the Chips Room window but my arm is still itching twelve hours later.  If it's pizened me, why can't it pizen the bloody pigeons instead >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 12 January, 2021, 07:54:58 am
It's a steal (https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Centurion-Meter-Utility-Box-Key-Triangular-Steel-Gas-Electric-Water/143092691232) for £2
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 January, 2021, 01:30:13 pm
I have a splendid multi-ended metaaal key for haxx0ring into miscellaneous electrical boxes for nefarious porpoises[1].  It's currently communing with the tape measures, thobut.


[1] Eg. performing the arcane car park ritual required to produce trackside electrons at Leicester cycle circuit without the aid of petril.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 12 January, 2021, 08:37:24 pm
I have a splendid multi-ended metaaal key for haxx0ring into miscellaneous electrical boxes for nefarious porpoises[1].  It's currently communing with the tape measures, thobut.


[1] Eg. performing the arcane car park ritual required to produce trackside electrons at Leicester cycle circuit without the aid of petril.

I have a multi ended plastic one in my top tube bag on my bike, useful for accessing taps at gas stations and churches in Sweden...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 12 January, 2021, 09:30:16 pm
I haz spare meter cupboard key but I are in Wrong Quadrant of That London.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 January, 2021, 12:48:46 am
I managed to extricate the key from the horrible spiky bush at the cost of several impressive scratches on my right forearm, one of which is about eight of the BRITONS' inches long.  It looks as though I've been spoffling a bad-tempered leopard.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 January, 2021, 06:03:17 pm
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 January, 2021, 06:07:21 pm
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?

It's shit weather for a bike ride, which means it's doubly shit weather for doing Gardening.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 January, 2021, 06:57:31 pm
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?

I've attacked the wretched horrible spiky thing with all the weapons at my disposal a Several of times but it always comes back, undead, bullet-proof and with inhuman strength.  Unfortunately you don’t seem to be able to get Agent Orange in Homebase.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 13 January, 2021, 07:11:08 pm
Unfortunately you don’t seem to be able to get Agent Orange in Homebase.

Have you tried The Range? Or maybe it's more of an Aldi Thursday Special thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 13 January, 2021, 07:40:20 pm
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?

I've attacked the wretched horrible spiky thing with all the weapons at my disposal a Several of times but it always comes back, undead, bullet-proof and with inhuman strength.  Unfortunately you don’t seem to be able to get Agent Orange in Homebase.

It's surprising how often this seems to be the answer. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=aCbfMkh940Q&feature=youtu.be)

(Btw: did this meme die and I didn't get the email? There was a time when I would never have got in first)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 January, 2021, 07:45:43 pm
Agent Orange is probably available via Netflix.
(https://a1cf74336522e87f135f-2f21ace9a6cf0052456644b80fa06d4f.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/images/characters_opt/p-reservoir-dogs-tim-roth.jpg)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 14 January, 2021, 06:25:26 pm
Can't you get napalm  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 15 January, 2021, 07:59:08 am
Agent Orange is probably available via Netflix.
(https://a1cf74336522e87f135f-2f21ace9a6cf0052456644b80fa06d4f.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/images/characters_opt/p-reservoir-dogs-tim-roth.jpg)

I thought Agent Orange was impeached on Wednesday ??
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 January, 2021, 10:45:23 am
Can't you get napalm  ;)

Use of fiery burny DETH on HSB* sadly contra-indicated due to proximity of house in general and gas meter in particular.

* Horrible Spiky Bush, not the BEER formerly brewed in Horndean.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: tiermat on 15 January, 2021, 11:00:43 am
Can't you get napalm  ;)

Use of fiery burny DETH on HSB* sadly contra-indicated due to proximity of house in general and gas meter in particular.

* Horrible Spiky Bush, not the BEER formerly brewed in Horndean.

Copper nails is where it's at, then.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/i/264481774230?chn=ps&var=564575783199&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=710-134428-41853-0&mkcid=2&itemid=564575783199_264481774230&targetid=1000147649500&device=c&mktype=pla&googleloc=1006958&campaignid=10195651586&mkgroupid=107296210212&rlsatarget=pla-1000147649500&abcId=1145987&merchantid=114994048&gclid=CjwKCAiAl4WABhAJEiwATUnEF9aRdMnAqM-XU_SS6-dsxvae5ARRtWF4OQvE_5z7rAAgATRULae6RBoCy64QAvD_BwE
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 January, 2021, 07:03:28 pm
I appear to have paid off the credit card twice this month.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 January, 2021, 07:05:59 pm
Agent Orange is probably available via Netflix.
(https://a1cf74336522e87f135f-2f21ace9a6cf0052456644b80fa06d4f.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/images/characters_opt/p-reservoir-dogs-tim-roth.jpg)

I thought Agent Orange was impeached on Wednesday ??
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 16 January, 2021, 08:22:16 pm
I appear to have paid off the credit card twice this month.

Ah. Not just me then.
https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=95565.msg2576810#msg2576810
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 January, 2021, 08:47:07 pm
Direct Debit for that. The robots rule.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 16 January, 2021, 08:55:35 pm
Direct Debit for that. The robots rule.

MTAAW

(Me too, also, as well.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 16 January, 2021, 10:00:05 pm
Direct Debit for that. The robots rule.

MTAAW

(Me too, also, as well.)

Ditto - my main card (95% of card use) has been DD for about 18 years BUT it took about 2 years for them to work out that I wanted them to take the whole balance (i.e. clear it) rather than the min payment so they could shaft me on interest.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 January, 2021, 01:45:19 pm
Making deep-fried prawns in batter today, using a portable gas burner since it's better for the wok and otherwise we're just electric.  As each batch was done I brought a hot paper-lined dish up beside the wok to receive it. As I lifted prawn #N out of the oil I lowered the dish below the level of the wok rim, bringing the edge of the paper into the superheated air rising out of the flame, and...

Except that I didn't: I caught myself on at the last moment.  I'm not gaga yet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 18 January, 2021, 01:10:48 pm
I just trod on an upturned UK plug, lost my balance, landed on my folded Brompton and took a massive gouge out of my finger on some part of it.

I am a massive div for not emigrating to a country with safer plugs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 18 January, 2021, 01:35:45 pm
I thought to myself 'Those new face masks* could do with a wash' so I put a load on...

...and what to I espy sitting on the top of the washing machine when the end of cycle beeper goes off?   :facepalm:





*Some rather nice ones from Tilley: https://www.tilley.com/uk_en/masks/all-masks/cotton-masks.html
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 18 January, 2021, 01:38:51 pm
I just trod on an upturned UK plug, lost my balance, landed on my folded Brompton and took a massive gouge out of my finger on some part of it.

I am a massive div for not emigrating to a country with safer plugs.

"Safest plug in the world.  Unless you aren't wearing shoes." - me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 19 January, 2021, 08:28:37 pm
Last night I was chopping chillis for a laksa. Choppity chop and in the pan you go. Give hands a perfunctory rinse and carry on with the rest of the preparation.

So anyway, as it steamed away for fifteen minutes, my brain told me to to take the opportunity to enhance my mealtime comfort with a visit to the loo.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 January, 2021, 02:56:22 pm
Spatchcocked a coquelet at lunchtime, brushed it with honey/mustard mix and stuck it under the grill, setting a timer so that I could baste it in 10 minutes.  A while later, MrsT says "what's burning?"

Timer still read 10 minutes. Guess who hadn't pressed which button.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 29 January, 2021, 11:38:48 am
Nipped out to collect some pallets to break down for the furniture and other stuff that I make  . . . . took the portable circular saw as I usually need to do a bit of cutting to get them in the car  . . . 

. . . portable circular saws need a battery to work . . and mine was snug in the charger at home.   Aaaargh!

The good 'ol handsaw I also took saved the day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 29 January, 2021, 02:01:20 pm
Washing machine's live longer with....

Is it my fault that they're about the same size and shape as dishwasher tablets? Or that they were next to the dishwasher tablets in the cupboard?

Ah well, things looked clean and nothing had a funny taste afterwards.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 29 January, 2021, 09:53:11 pm
Friday night.
Programme 5 laundry run.
Tissue included in wash.
Gah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 February, 2021, 01:34:52 am
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?

Yes, exactly like that.

Update: toenails aren’t meant to be black even after you’ve scrubbed off all the Sock Residue, are they?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 February, 2021, 09:08:37 am
Email from Netflux: "New login to your account". Y'what?  Not my PC or tablet, not the TV downstairs, so ???.  Log into NF, change password to super-secure PWD comprising 4 random words separated by random punctuation marks, yay, well done, action prompt and immediate, pat on back etc.  Nip downstairs, turn on TV, invoke NF and enter new pwd...

Have you ever tried entering a password via a sluggish on-screen KB and the arrow keys on a zapper?  A 27-character password at that?  You need around 5 button-presses per character, double that if the SHIFT key is involved, and each time you enter one it appears on the screen for about a second so if you blink, hard luck.  So of course "Password not recognized" was my reward for 10 minutes' work.

MrsT comes in halfway through my second attempt. "What are you doing?"  I explain the dodgy furrin login.  "Oh, that was me on my computer, there was a documentary I wanted to watch".

Bugger.

Restore old login from dusty bit of paper (think Eccles' timepiece) under my monitor, return to normal. Yeah, I know, security and all that. Fckit, the thing works.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 February, 2021, 03:00:02 pm
At least today I noticed my lack of wallet while liberating a horriblemarket trolley from bondage in the carp ark of Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles, rather than when queueueueuing to pay for my newly rounded-up flock of feral nosh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 02 February, 2021, 09:55:09 pm
Making my baked risotto, I'm stirring away at the base, softening some leek, celery and garlic in olive oil. I thought I'd throw some remaining mushrooms, a bit off-plan but they looking sad in the bottom of the fridge, so chop chop and in they go, and I'm stirring away to reduce those down and thinking, mmm, these mushrooms smell a bit odd. A sort savoury smoky flavour. So I stir a bit more. It really does start to smell quite strange. Not mushroomy, not garlicky, not really like a risotto base at all. How odd. I raise my hands in defeat and notice I'm holding a flaming dishtowel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 02 February, 2021, 11:51:32 pm
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?
Yes, exactly like that.
Update: toenails aren’t meant to be black even after you’ve scrubbed off all the Sock Residue, are they?

No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 02 February, 2021, 11:54:55 pm
No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!

As satisfying minor medical procedures go, this one's got to be in the top 5.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 02 February, 2021, 11:55:40 pm
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?
Yes, exactly like that.
Update: toenails aren’t meant to be black even after you’ve scrubbed off all the Sock Residue, are they?

No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!


Ouch, ouch, ouch.   Have done this, I used a pin sterilised in a lighter flame, it's painful & messy....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 02 February, 2021, 11:59:35 pm
No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!

As satisfying minor medical procedures go, this one's got to be in the top 5.


Right up there with emergency tracheotomy using a Biro. Don't think I've got that first aid manual anymore....  :jurek:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 February, 2021, 12:12:45 am
I don't think that one counts as minor...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 February, 2021, 12:31:03 am
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?
Yes, exactly like that.
Update: toenails aren’t meant to be black even after you’ve scrubbed off all the Sock Residue, are they?

No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!

I think it can stay black for now.  It’s not as if anyone's going to see it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 03 February, 2021, 12:33:36 am
I don't think that one counts as minor...


I remember reading a book by Jed Mercurio (ex junior doc & TV screenwriter) in which he detailed how an exhausted, overworked junior doc totally f*cked one up & killed the patient....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 03 February, 2021, 12:35:16 am
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?
Yes, exactly like that.
Update: toenails aren’t meant to be black even after you’ve scrubbed off all the Sock Residue, are they?

No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!

I think it can stay black for now.  It’s not as if anyone's going to see it.


Gwan, gwan, gwan....  think of the bragging rights in the "non cycling injuries" thread.....  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 February, 2021, 02:57:44 am
Trick is to use BLUNT paper clip and heat it till it GLOWS, then touch nail gently with NO pressure. Nail plate is dead, without sensation. Nail bed is NOT!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 03 February, 2021, 07:26:52 am
Trick is to use BLUNT paper clip and heat it till it GLOWS, then touch nail gently with NO pressure. Nail plate is dead, without sensation. Nail bed is NOT!

This only works in the first 24-48 hours until the blood coagulates.  I no longer use the heated paper clip as it is too scary.  a large hypodermic needle drilled through the nail plate is cleaner and safer with less chance of infection in what is usually a technically compound wound once the nail is opened.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 03 February, 2021, 08:34:40 am
Making my baked risotto, I'm stirring away at the base, softening some leek, celery and garlic in olive oil. I thought I'd throw some remaining mushrooms, a bit off-plan but they looking sad in the bottom of the fridge, so chop chop and in they go, and I'm stirring away to reduce those down and thinking, mmm, these mushrooms smell a bit odd. A sort savoury smoky flavour. So I stir a bit more. It really does start to smell quite strange. Not mushroomy, not garlicky, not really like a risotto base at all. How odd. I raise my hands in defeat and notice I'm holding a flaming dishtowel.

At least you noticed before you had a flaming sleeve.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 03 February, 2021, 08:39:49 am
Making my baked risotto, I'm stirring away at the base, softening some leek, celery and garlic in olive oil. I thought I'd throw some remaining mushrooms, a bit off-plan but they looking sad in the bottom of the fridge, so chop chop and in they go, and I'm stirring away to reduce those down and thinking, mmm, these mushrooms smell a bit odd. A sort savoury smoky flavour. So I stir a bit more. It really does start to smell quite strange. Not mushroomy, not garlicky, not really like a risotto base at all. How odd. I raise my hands in defeat and notice I'm holding a flaming dishtowel.

I nearly did same sort of thing upthread:

https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=95565.msg2582795#msg2582795
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 03 February, 2021, 09:30:41 am
It was burning slowly because it was a bit damp. I was using to hold the casserole dish in place. It really was impressively fiery. Fortunately, I was in throwing distance of the kitchen sink.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Arminius on 03 February, 2021, 11:07:44 am
Making my baked risotto, I'm stirring away at the base, softening some leek, celery and garlic in olive oil. I thought I'd throw some remaining mushrooms, a bit off-plan but they looking sad in the bottom of the fridge, so chop chop and in they go, and I'm stirring away to reduce those down and thinking, mmm, these mushrooms smell a bit odd. A sort savoury smoky flavour. So I stir a bit more. It really does start to smell quite strange. Not mushroomy, not garlicky, not really like a risotto base at all. How odd. I raise my hands in defeat and notice I'm holding a flaming dishtowel.

 ;D ;D The last 2 sentences made me laugh, which I really needed today, so thank you.  :)

Also, got a recipe for the baked risotto?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 03 February, 2021, 11:54:01 am
Pretty simple, make a usual risotto base (finely chopped up onion/leek and celery) and soften in olive oil (you could use butter), add a couple of finely chopped garlic cloves towards the end, once everything has softened (but not coloured) add in the risotto rice (about 140g for two) and give it a few minutes with regular stirring (add a bit more oil if it starts to catch). One the rice is a bit translucent, throw in a glass of white wine (hold onto the glass, just the wine) and reduce it down till everything is getting sticky and then add a half litre of hot stock.

Cover and put in the oven for 35 minutes (about 160 degrees). At that point take out and add other ingredients (I added chopped kale and smoked haddock), give it a good stir and a bit more boiling water if it's looking dry, put the lid back on and give it another fifteen minutes. You can add any ingredients as you would a stove-top risotto but it avoids all the constant stirring business. At the end, stir in a generous helping of cheese and a squish of lemon juice and a bit of chopped parsley (or whatever else goes without whatever concoction you're risottoizing).

It didn't really benefit from the mushroom or flaming dishtowel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 03 February, 2021, 11:57:32 am
I like the sound of that, all the stirring can get tedious. It’s a bit like making a savoury rice pudding...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 03 February, 2021, 12:14:41 pm
If you're not going to stir, make a paella instead.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 03 February, 2021, 12:43:53 pm
I do that but without the baking. Felicity Cloake decided it was possible to do an almost no stir risotto.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/26/no-stir-risotto-recipe-felicity-cloake-masterclass
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 03 February, 2021, 01:11:19 pm
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?
Yes, exactly like that.
Update: toenails aren’t meant to be black even after you’ve scrubbed off all the Sock Residue, are they?

No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!

I think it can stay black for now.  It’s not as if anyone's going to see it.

I solved the Black/falling off big toenails problem by having them removed. I mean it's not as if you need them once you can afford shoes *

Back to the thread topic todays local div search is hunting for the idiot who put the bottle of olive oil in the fridge.

* Someone will be along in a sec to explain why big toenails are vital and getting rid of them is a mistake.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 03 February, 2021, 01:31:48 pm


I solved the Black/falling off big toenails problem by having them removed. I mean it's not as if you need them once you can afford shoes *

Back to the thread topic todays local div search is hunting for the idiot who put the bottle of olive oil in the fridge.

* Someone will be along in a sec to explain why big toenails are vital and getting rid of them is a mistake.
I have toe nails. I have not put any bottles of olive oil in the fridge. The evidence, I think, is clear.  Having toenails prevents olive oil related div-ness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 03 February, 2021, 01:38:00 pm
I do that but without the baking. Felicity Cloake decided it was possible to do an almost no stir risotto.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/26/no-stir-risotto-recipe-felicity-cloake-masterclass

I find that the oven method leads to move even cooking (I've never been convinced by the constant stirring, it always seemed mostly ceremonial) without the risk of the rice catching on the bottom of the pan. Shove it in the oven, go drink the rest of the white wine (otherwise it might go off), serve.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 03 February, 2021, 02:06:25 pm
Putting wine in your own cooking does not compute.
Wine is for drinking.
Or for having in somebody else's cooking.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 03 February, 2021, 02:11:25 pm
I do that but without the baking. Felicity Cloake decided it was possible to do an almost no stir risotto.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/26/no-stir-risotto-recipe-felicity-cloake-masterclass

Delia did it decades ago. I still don't think it's right  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 04 February, 2021, 01:08:46 pm
Is a no-stir risotto not just a rice pudding made without milk?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 February, 2021, 01:11:26 pm
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 February, 2021, 02:00:17 pm
Savoury oat porridge = gruel, I make it regularly, like a risotto, but better.  Obvs not Ol Twist Style
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 February, 2021, 03:33:40 pm
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 February, 2021, 05:48:28 pm
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?

Only if you move in the right circles.

For plebs like me it's just a soup bulking agent
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 February, 2021, 06:06:48 pm
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?

Yes, and spelt for the über-hipsters who find rice so last year. Idiots, everyone knows teff is where it's at.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 05 February, 2021, 01:50:12 pm
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?

Yes, and spelt for the über-hipsters who find rice so last year. Idiots, everyone knows teff is where it's at.
I agree with regard to teff.  Ethiopian food is some of my favourite.  However I just cannot cook with Teff, it comes out completely inedible.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 February, 2021, 03:00:10 pm
I remember reading a book by Jed Mercurio (ex junior doc & TV screenwriter) in which he detailed how an exhausted, overworked junior doc totally f*cked one up & killed the patient....

That would be where he got the idea for the storyline in Bodies, where an exhausted, overworked junior doc (played by Max Beesley) kills a patient by botching an emergency tracheotomy.

I understand a number of the storylines were drawn from his real life experiences. It's a really good series but pretty gruesome at times.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 06 February, 2021, 03:12:50 pm
Note to self: do not click on the link in a Messenger post from some random Facebook friend before switching on brain.

I've now spent a while apologising to about 50 people who got the same link from me. Fortunately none of them appear to be as stupid as me. Also fortunate that I only run on Linux.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 February, 2021, 08:45:03 am
Carefully put paddles in car. Very carefully strap two kayaks onto car in prep for 580 mile drive to outer hebrides.

Very windy in Hebrides, so can't get out on the water. Book Wed off work, because the wind is dropping then.

Remember that buoyancy aid is hanging on hook in landlord's house, 580 miles away.


Mrs C says she needs a BA, so see if I can order one for delivery before Wed.  <google> 'Deliver by Tues'. Ok, I have to pay for delivery, but that seems fair. Pay. Confirmation - delivery Tues.

Monday lunchtime; courier update - delivery Thurs. Arse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 February, 2021, 01:05:49 pm
Local Facebook page got someone who would loan or sell you one locally?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bhoot on 09 February, 2021, 02:05:21 pm
Whereabouts in the Hebrides? I know some sea kayakers living out there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 February, 2021, 07:02:43 pm
Whereabouts in the Hebrides? I know some sea kayakers living out there.

Isle of lewis.

I've tried contacting the stornoway club, but no reply. Guess they've completely shut due to corvid.

A replacement will arrive thurs; it is just narking me because Wed will be the only day since we arrived when it has been calm enough to sensibly go out.  So missing Wed means another week.  It is my own fault, not picking it up off a hook.


Once I have more experience I'll brave the gales, but discretion rules for a bit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bhoot on 09 February, 2021, 10:39:05 pm
Wrong island for my contacts, they are Berneray and North Uist. Another possible avenue to explore would be rowers, I think there is quite a lot of skiff activity and they probably have them, you might be able to get club contact details.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 10 February, 2021, 10:39:34 am
Would IanG be able to put you in touch with someone?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 February, 2021, 11:04:44 am
I've only just noticed something quite fundamental in Stuart MacBride's Logan McRae series:

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 February, 2021, 11:51:17 am
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50929094772_0f8532de81_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2kAqVwU)20210210_114831 (https://flic.kr/p/2kAqVwU) by rogerzilla (https://www.flickr.com/photos/41286375@N07/), on Flickr
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 10 February, 2021, 12:01:57 pm
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50929094772_0f8532de81_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2kAqVwU)20210210_114831 (https://flic.kr/p/2kAqVwU) by rogerzilla (https://www.flickr.com/photos/41286375@N07/), on Flickr

Stripped thread in cranks? Or simply a clipless moment?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 February, 2021, 12:10:33 pm
Look harder.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Neil C on 10 February, 2021, 12:12:35 pm
Rebuilt with axles swopped. Oops!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 February, 2021, 12:12:43 pm
In preparation for:
(http://john-s-allen.com/galleries/lasvegas/Trade%20Show/slides/DSCF0015pushmepullyousm.jpg)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 10 February, 2021, 02:00:09 pm
Look harder.

Probably best if you just put your cleats on backwards then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: tiermat on 10 February, 2021, 02:07:05 pm
Look harder.

Probably best if you just put your cleats on backwards then.

Which is what my mate Dave did, the first time he fitted cleats to his shoes.

Took us bloody ages to work out why only one side (per shoe)would clip in...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 10 February, 2021, 06:50:11 pm
In preparation for:
(http://john-s-allen.com/galleries/lasvegas/Trade%20Show/slides/DSCF0015pushmepullyousm.jpg)

Does the person on the back pedal forwards or forwards?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 10 February, 2021, 07:05:29 pm
In preparation for:
(http://john-s-allen.com/galleries/lasvegas/Trade%20Show/slides/DSCF0015pushmepullyousm.jpg)

Does the person on the back pedal forwards or forwards?
Both chains appear to be crossed . . . but the engineering logic doesn't seem to be correect?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 10 February, 2021, 07:21:56 pm
In preparation for:
(http://john-s-allen.com/galleries/lasvegas/Trade%20Show/slides/DSCF0015pushmepullyousm.jpg)

Does the person on the back pedal forwards or forwards?
Both chains appear to be crossed . . . but the engineering logic doesn't seem to be correect?
I think that the front chain crosses twice. The intermediate pulleys are there to stop the long chain flapping around and catching on things.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 10 February, 2021, 07:37:50 pm
The stoker pedals forward. I had a go on the back at Mildenhall a few years ago  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 11 February, 2021, 06:43:14 pm
When ordering a birthday card (or any card I assume) online it is important to ensure that you have deleted all the example text when you check out. I mean, it’s a pretty poor UI that allows such mistakes, so it is their fault.

Fortunately the recipient doesn’t have a fragile ego and found the addition of a spurious name somewhat funny.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 12 February, 2021, 06:59:01 pm
In other news, I've got 11 days hols to use by the end of March. It was only when talking to my colleague earlier today that she pointed out that was 2 weeks holiday.

I've spent the last few months thinking I have a week and a bit to take.  :facepalm:
Better fecking hurry up and book it then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 February, 2021, 08:59:43 am
When I got my first work contract in France I was pleased by the holiday entitlement it promised, about 5 more days than I'd had in the UK.  Then someone pointed out that it was that many jours ouvrables, i.e. the number of days on which a company could legally open as opposed to jours ouvrés, the number of days when it actually did.  In other words, they counted the Saturdays against your entitlement. :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 February, 2021, 12:22:59 pm
Barakta's current employer has a similar approach to bank holidays and the Christmas period.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 February, 2021, 02:31:36 pm
American-owned/run?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 13 February, 2021, 03:19:54 pm
The firm i sued to work for, a well known multinational telecom provider, did this for certain groups of people who were required to work bank holidays. But in their case the bank holidays were added to their holiday entitlement. They also changed the holiday entitlement to hours for none management grades because the flexible* working patterns meant a lot of people were working 9 day fortnight and the like. Management were expected to work the hours needed to do the job without recourse to overtime though a certain amount of time off in lieu was tollerated.

*flexible for the company natch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 13 February, 2021, 03:28:52 pm
Nipped out to the local farm shop on the shopping bike today. It is cold. Very cold. Fingers lose feeling.

Get back, go to unlock the SEECRIT bunker. To do this I need to remove my gloves, the better to fumble with the keys with my numb fingers.

Pull off glove using teeth. Misjudge end of finger/end of glove interface. Bite down on end of finger which it seems isn't quite as numb as I'd thought.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 13 February, 2021, 04:43:31 pm
About ten minutes into todays turbo trainer session, I thoughtvi felt a seam digging into me at the front. That's when I realised I had my shorts on back to front  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 13 February, 2021, 05:41:11 pm
The firm i sued to work for, a well known multinational telecom provider, did this for certain groups of people who were required to work bank holidays. But in their case the bank holidays were added to their holiday entitlement. They also changed the holiday entitlement to hours for none management grades because the flexible* working patterns meant a lot of people were working 9 day fortnight and the like. Management were expected to work the hours needed to do the job without recourse to overtime though a certain amount of time off in lieu was tollerated.

*flexible for the company natch.

I've had employers get grumpy when I had acrewed 10 days of TOIL within the first 3 months of a year...

They did not agree with my belief that the company was short staffed...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 February, 2021, 07:20:50 pm
Barakta's current employer has a similar approach to bank holidays and the Christmas period.

American-owned/run?

A BRITISH ex-poly university with a reputation for being a bit of a piss-taker in this respect.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 13 February, 2021, 08:06:51 pm
The firm i sued to work for, a well known multinational telecom provider, did this for certain groups of people who were required to work bank holidays. But in their case the bank holidays were added to their holiday entitlement. They also changed the holiday entitlement to hours for none management grades because the flexible* working patterns meant a lot of people were working 9 day fortnight and the like. Management were expected to work the hours needed to do the job without recourse to overtime though a certain amount of time off in lieu was tollerated.

*flexible for the company natch.

I've had employers get grumpy when I had acrewed 10 days of TOIL within the first 3 months of a year...

They did not agree with my belief that the company was short staffed...

J
An individual’s approach towards TOIL very much depends upon a) your position in the company and b) your aspirations towards improving that position. Neither of these _should_ matter but corporate Britain relies on the ‘jam tomorrow’ principle, and the young aspiring keep falling for it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 February, 2021, 09:54:14 am
Realized this morning that I was standing in the shower wet and soapy with my glasses still on and nowhere to put them down.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 14 February, 2021, 10:07:02 am
At my place we generally keep to 5 day weeks, except in December. This is because set-up and shut-off time for machinery is quite lengthy, so we want runs to be as long as possible. In some ways, as office staff, this is in my favour, as I might work the Bank Holiday but none of my suppliers do, so it's a nice day for catching up on stuff.
Our holiday year runs to end Feb. I've still got 7. 5 days to take and have staff off I have to cover for, for the next 2 weeks.
Damn.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 February, 2021, 01:36:18 pm
I have just attached a prominent warning label to my router[1] in the hope that next time it will remind me to attach the dust extraction wossname *before* installing the bit and tweaking the cut depth, as I seem singularly incapable of remembering to do so.


[1] Woodjbex, not netjbex.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 14 February, 2021, 02:37:18 pm
We have to have permission to accrue TOIL but of course we're expected to stay late if the work needs done... I am trying to limit this very strongly so it's not zero but it's not taking the piss. I reckon if 5 of us all do an extra 60-90 mins a day we're basically funding a 5th member of staff for the team and I know unis will rely on people doing more to avoid staffing us properly.

Boss1 keeps saying "You'll be doing 12 hour days come $TIME" to my new colleagues but hasn't said it to me. My reply is going to be "You pay me for 22.4 hours a week, I'm not a charity, I won't work loads extra for free. If the uni wants lots of extra hours, it'll have to pay me for them properly and reliably.". I expect Boss1 will not like this very much but boundaries are my friend.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 February, 2021, 02:54:21 pm
I have just attached a prominent warning label to my router[1] in the hope that next time it will remind me to attach the dust extraction wossname *before* installing the bit and tweaking the cut depth, as I seem singularly incapable of remembering to do so.


[1] Woodjbex, not netjbex.

I never used dust extraction or PPE with the router before the arrival of YouTube, I just set up a few bits of ply up on edge and held with clamps to stop the bits going where they'd be a pain to clear up.  Nowadays it's goggles, earplugs and the extractor sucking away next door.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 14 February, 2021, 03:28:41 pm
We have to have permission to accrue TOIL but of course we're expected to stay late if the work needs done... I am trying to limit this very strongly so it's not zero but it's not taking the piss. I reckon if 5 of us all do an extra 60-90 mins a day we're basically funding a 5th member of staff for the team and I know unis will rely on people doing more to avoid staffing us properly.

Boss1 keeps saying "You'll be doing 12 hour days come $TIME" to my new colleagues but hasn't said it to me. My reply is going to be "You pay me for 22.4 hours a week, I'm not a charity, I won't work loads extra for free. If the uni wants lots of extra hours, it'll have to pay me for them properly and reliably.". I expect Boss1 will not like this very much but boundaries are my friend.

I think all the employment contracts I’ve had as a salaried employee have always a) opted out of the Working Time directive and b) had a “and such additional hours as might reasonably be required” clause. The jobs where I worked fewest extra hours were the hourly paid contract ones. My current employer is pretty good, but nobody (other than directors) works a large amount of overtime, and TOIL is respected. When travelling to HQ in Tokyo was a thing, we often would travel / return at weekends, and then get the choice of TOIL or a monetary (fixed value, and less, for me, than a days pay) compensation.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 14 February, 2021, 05:10:00 pm
I have just attached a prominent warning label to my router[1] in the hope that next time it will remind me to attach the dust extraction wossname *before* installing the bit and tweaking the cut depth, as I seem singularly incapable of remembering to do so.


[1] Woodjbex, not netjbex.

I'm with you on that - I also have a label on all my tools and machinery that are connected to or can be connected to my ducted dust extraction system to also remind me to switch on the shop vac (that's on a remote control fob) . . . what I then forget to do is turn on the workshop air filter machine attached to the ceiling.   The ideal situation is auto-switches but that's a whole different ball-game that's quite costly.

For all that I have 3 different routers and find the dust extraction on the two that have the facility is pretty poor anyway (the 3rd one is a palm router that is pretty much only used for cleaning up or rounding over edges)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 February, 2021, 05:47:35 pm
I have just attached a prominent warning label to my router[1] in the hope that next time it will remind me to attach the dust extraction wossname *before* installing the bit and tweaking the cut depth, as I seem singularly incapable of remembering to do so.


[1] Woodjbex, not netjbex.

I never used dust extraction or PPE with the router before the arrival of YouTube, I just set up a few bits of ply up on edge and held with clamps to stop the bits going where they'd be a pain to clear up.  Nowadays it's goggles, earplugs and the extractor sucking away next door.

It's not really optional when you have the choice of waiting until summer or doing woodwork in your living room.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 15 February, 2021, 04:10:50 pm
Posting on behalf of mr fimm who has just drilled two holes vertically above one another when they should have been horizontal. (For mounting a Thing.)
I shouldn't let him do stuff like that unsupervised...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 February, 2021, 09:12:01 pm
I managed to crash on the turbo trainer.

The block under the front wheel slipped while I was riding no-hands and I toppled over sideways.  Luckily no-one was watching.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 20 February, 2021, 10:44:00 am
Saturday morning is sour dough baking time.

First, clear up kitchen so deploy Dettol multi surface cleaner.

Weigh out ingredients in bowl and combine. The next step is leave for half an hour, so I spray the top of the dough with water to make sure it doesn't dry out.

Hmm, this dough smells of Dettol. Arse.

Next time put the surface cleaner AWAY before reaching for the plain water spray gun.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: De Sisti on 20 February, 2021, 12:07:53 pm
Spent ages the other day looking for my varifocal glasses. Upon putting some plastics in one of the
recycling bins, I noticed the green case for my aforementioned glasses in there. I'd only just gone
and put them in there with other discarded plastics.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 20 February, 2021, 02:09:46 pm
Adjusting the disc brakes on one of my bikes . . .  re-aligned the caliper having checked the pads - spun the wheel to check the lever movement - all fine BUT an annoying brushing noise when the wheel was spinning - nothing obvious.  Kept on spinnng the wheel squinting down into the caliper to watch for any disc distortion (by this time I had the Park disc tuner tool in my hand) - nope, seemed OK. . . .  more spinning and I finally spotted that the little orange sticker that Mr Shimano applies to discs to say "this will get hot" was brushing the caliper.  Doh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 March, 2021, 11:40:50 am
After much searching, I found a 110mm 25.4mm quill stem for the singlespeed.

Then I found the Nitto bars are 26.0mm.  Odds of Japanese straight bars being 26.0mm?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 02 March, 2021, 05:08:06 pm
After much searching, I found a 110mm 25.4mm quill stem for the singlespeed.

Then I found the Nitto bars are 26.0mm.  Odds of Japanese straight bars being 26.0mm?

Pretty good by the sound of things  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 03 March, 2021, 07:41:57 pm
I put my very muddy trainers in the washing machine and have apparently clogged the drain pipe.

Sometime during the evening's proceedings I've managed to cross thread (or something) the flood-my-kitchen-please drain pump inspection knobby thing such that it can't be opened anymore.

Fuksox.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 03 March, 2021, 07:50:02 pm
I put my very muddy trainers in the washing machine and have apparently clogged the drain pipe.

Sometime during the evening's proceedings I've managed to cross thread (or something) the flood-my-kitchen-please drain pump inspection knobby thing such that it can't be opened anymore.

Fuksox.
Ouch!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 04 March, 2021, 02:24:28 pm
I have just extracted the world's biggest fluffberg from the pipe between the drum and the drain pump, which was also what was blocking the drain inspection thingy from turning. There's no filter in this machine, it just accumulates in the pipe apparently. Also nice of Bosch to make all of the screws exactly the same, apart from the ones that aren't.

The process of dismantling testing and reassembling involved too many fecking div moments to mention.

(Shoes were a red herring)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fuzzy on 04 March, 2021, 02:51:16 pm
I have just extracted the world's biggest fluffberg from the pipe between the drum and the drain pump, which was also what was blocking the drain inspection thingy from turning. There's no filter in this machine, it just accumulates in the pipe apparently. Also nice of Bosch to make all of the screws exactly the same, apart from the ones that aren't.

The process of dismantling testing and reassembling involved too many fecking div moments to mention.
(Shoes were a red herring)

Are they better than Nike or Adidas?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 04 March, 2021, 03:27:19 pm
Are they better than Nike or Adidas?

Redh Herring was Debenham's own brand. Product range a bit weird right now:
https://www.debenhams.com/men/shoes-boots/red-herring
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 04 March, 2021, 07:05:04 pm
Posted on behalf of Dr Beardy (Mrs)

Just completed the module outline for a level 5 module on a course in <fx:waves_hands_vaguely> something to do with children and death for next year, and on looking for the course folder she can’t find it. Muttering somewhat and calling into question the legitimacy of her successor in course leadership she writes a _polite_ email of enquiry to wtf the folder hasn’t been created on the systems. Having dispatched the missive she then realises that the didn’t recruit anyone for that course this year partly because of the course catalogue redesign she did and partly because she actively encouraged any interested parties to enrol on other courses. No level 4 students this year means no level 5 students next year! :facepalm:
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 07 March, 2021, 03:54:47 pm
Me last night: “I’m going out for a ride tomorrow, I probably ought to go and check the charge level of the Di2 battery... nah, the bike’s in the garage, I’m in my pyjamas and it’s cold outside, so I can’t be bothered. It’ll be fine.”
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 08 March, 2021, 04:32:47 pm
Me: gets lots of punctures. Orders Marathon Plus Tyre. Tyre arrives. I set aside plenty of time to fit it. After plenty of time and a small amount of googling, tyre is fitted. I blow it up to my usual pressure. Tyre pops off the rim. Try again. Same result. Mr fimm offers to assist. I let him. He manages to pinch flat the inner tube.
 :demon:
At this point I borrow his front wheel and go cycling.
Part two:
Fit new inner tube, get tyre back on. Look at thing that came attached to the tyre. Max pressure 5 bar. That's 70psi or so. So blowing it up to 100 psi/7 bar was a bad move, then?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 March, 2021, 08:21:07 pm
Chap I knew via the medium of SCIENCE'S Telegraphic Marvel, who ran a recumbent shop in the Bay Area, once conducted a series of tests using a track pump with an extra-long hose on various tyres and found most reputable brands would get up to at least 150% of the pressure writted on the sidewall before parting company with the rim.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 March, 2021, 08:29:29 pm
Fimm's "experimental data" seems to confirm the 150% figure!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 09 March, 2021, 11:53:59 am
That sort of experiment's best not attempted if the rim's been nibbled to DETH by rim brakes.  Especially if it's a double-blind trial courtesy of an Aldi track pump with an extremely inaccurate gauge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 March, 2021, 12:17:10 pm
Zach being a bike shop proprietor of scientific bent, I reckon he'd have taken such precautions.  Also he put the wheel on the opposite side of a sturdy brick wall* from himself :)

* Not sure where he found one of those in Alameda CA, as the preferred building material there appears to be cardboard, presumably because it's less likely to squish you utterly to DETH after an earthquake.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TimC on 09 March, 2021, 04:33:57 pm
Just had a clipless moment. First in about 20 years. No witnesses, but I still feel very silly!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 March, 2021, 10:53:58 pm
Went out to see the parents for Mothers Day.  Took presents in my big Chrome courier bag.    On the way home I had to wait at the train station.  The metal seat was wet so I put the bag on it & sat on that. 


Got home & realised I didn't have the bag , which had my wallet in it  :facepalm:      Back to the station & find the bag , but no wallet.  >:(      All bank cards now cancelled,  my driving licence was in it as well so thats £20 for a replacement (not that I drive!).   


Bah! 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 14 March, 2021, 10:58:07 pm
Bugger.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 March, 2021, 08:39:41 am
What he said.  I just dreamt I'd lost mine the other night and woke up in a minor panic.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 March, 2021, 08:56:56 am
Mine seems a bit trivial compared to andrewc's but it's pretty tragic in its own way...

Yesterday I roasted a chicken for dinner. After draining off all the beautiful juices from the roasting tin into a jug to make gravy, I caught the edge of the roasting tin on the jug and knocked it over, spilling the contents everywhere.

Oh well, the dog enjoyed it at least.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 March, 2021, 09:55:59 am
In that vein, yesterday I poured Madeira into the very hot pan I'd just tortured my steak in and redecorated the front of the pullover MrsT knitted me a month or two back. Oops.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 18 March, 2021, 03:12:20 pm
It turns out that with a big enough breaker bar and a can-do attitude, even the most left-handed thread can be undone in the conventional direction.

(Shimano Selecta bottom bracket lock nut. Fortunately a cheap-ish one has appeared on ebay since I last looked, and the bearings were knackered anyway)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 18 March, 2021, 03:51:18 pm
:-)

Removing a square taper chainset at the weekend for the first time in yonks.

Cover off, release locking bolt a few turns (I leave it in so the crank puller has something proper to bear against). Insert crank puller first part. Wind in crank puller wrench part, and wind. All going well, then it gets harder.

Hmm. Nothing that a little gentle tapping with a mallet won't sort out.

And out comes the crank puller first part from the crank, complete with strips of alloy swarf.

Bugger. Crank had only been allowed to extract as far as I had undone the lock bolt.

Still, the good news was that I hadn't wound the crank-puller's first part in all the way, so was able to force it home and engage with what was left of the crank's internal thread on a second attempt.

Pillock.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 18 March, 2021, 03:54:24 pm
It turns out that with a big enough breaker bar and a can-do attitude, even the most left-handed thread can be undone in the conventional direction.

(Shimano Selecta bottom bracket lock nut. Fortunately a cheap-ish one has appeared on ebay since I last looked, and the bearings were knackered anyway)

Now it's proper bo buggered, I tell thee!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 March, 2021, 01:18:59 pm
Ordered a new Conti GP4000s II, only it turned out that I hadn't - invoice says Grand Prix tout court, and that's was in the box.

Found I already had a GP4000etc in the workshop, not new but still with a few thousand km in it.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: trundle on 23 March, 2021, 08:09:13 pm
The noisy chain had nothing to do with chain - I put the new BBB pulleys in the right order, but exactly the wrong way around.

Div...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 23 March, 2021, 08:13:09 pm
If the valve of your inner tube is a bit stiff, be careful not to undo the whole valve core by accident - when it gets fully undone, if you're not gripping it firmly, the air pressure inside the tyre can force it out at quite some speed, sending it god knows where...

DAMHIKT
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 27 March, 2021, 08:43:37 pm
This could go in the rant as I nearly used bad words

With the weather being nice got all the school uniform washed and was 3/4 way through ironing it when remembered they change to summer dresses after Easter not the stuff i had just ironed
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 08 April, 2021, 09:15:22 pm
I have, over the years, been committing all those secret codes and not-so-memorable words that the modern internet demands of me to a cunningly encrypted file that even the NSA would need a warehouseful of supercomputers to crack.

Today, upon a spurious demand from yet another financial services website for the second, fifteen, and forty-second letter of a passphrase that I definitely didn't remember, I went to look for that secure file.

It might have been secure, but it certainly wasn't delete-proof. I have no idea why, but it's not there, it's not anywhere. I must have done it ages ago because it's not even in the backups. Ah, sweet mystery, do fuck off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 08 April, 2021, 10:27:34 pm
:-)

Removing a square taper chainset at the weekend for the first time in yonks.

Cover off, release locking bolt a few turns (I leave it in so the crank puller has something proper to bear against). Insert crank puller first part. Wind in crank puller wrench part, and wind. All going well, then it gets harder.

Hmm. Nothing that a little gentle tapping with a mallet won't sort out.

And out comes the crank puller first part from the crank, complete with strips of alloy swarf.

Bugger. Crank had only been allowed to extract as far as I had undone the lock bolt.

Still, the good news was that I hadn't wound the crank-puller's first part in all the way, so was able to force it home and engage with what was left of the crank's internal thread on a second attempt.

Pillock.

BTDTGTTS,  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 11 April, 2021, 03:49:28 pm
Well I fell right into HMRC's trap carefully laid in January.  They helpfully extended the filing deadline.

Quote from: The headline
No Self Assessment late filing penalty for those who file online by 28 February
Quote from: The gotcha
Taxpayers are still obliged to pay their bill by 31 January. Interest will be charged from 1 February on any outstanding liabilities.

Yep, the bastards got me for additional interest.
Read the whole page 'tween you fekking idiot. It's the HMRC, you can trust them about half a Planck distance  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 April, 2021, 05:11:20 pm
New (to us) boiler.

Had diesel tank filled just after we moved in.
Haven't been checking diesel level.

It has run out . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 11 April, 2021, 05:41:51 pm
Wow, it must be a tiny tank then..
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 April, 2021, 07:27:30 pm
Wow, it must be a tiny tank then..
No  - 1000 litres.

Consequence of a house with poor insulation, not a single thermostatic valve on any rads and no thermostat for the boiler.  So if the boiler is on, it is running constantly at full wack. That's 4l per hour - so yes, it has used that much fuel.

Really need to improve the system.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 11 April, 2021, 08:09:38 pm
Eek. Well we got a wireless (this was in the days before Nest etc) stat (i.e. the sending unit just takes batteries) retrofitted to our ancient boiler which is relatively quick and doesn't involve any draining...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 11 April, 2021, 10:00:18 pm
Wow, it must be a tiny tank then..
No  - 1000 litres.

Consequence of a house with poor insulation, not a single thermostatic valve on any rads and no thermostat for the boiler.  So if the boiler is on, it is running constantly at full wack. That's 4l per hour - so yes, it has used that much fuel.

Really need to improve the system.

Our tank was 200 gallons before we had gas, so that's a standard size. Gas was a definite improvement, both for cooking and for CH...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 April, 2021, 09:55:32 am
Eek. Well we got a wireless (this was in the days before Nest etc) stat (i.e. the sending unit just takes batteries) retrofitted to our ancient boiler which is relatively quick and doesn't involve any draining...

We will buy something like a nest or or a hive. That will make quite a difference.

I need to add a couple of rads (there aren't any in one room), was putting off adding thermostatic valves until I drained down the system when adding the new rads.

The unexpected cold weather has delayed that somewhat (it is still dropping to below 0 every night and snowing. Local crofters are calling it the worst spring in decades).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 12 April, 2021, 09:21:41 pm
I can see the super market we use from my house (its the other side of a school fiel) but being good instead of driving i hitch our old kiddie trailer to the bike and cycle despite this and getting the bike out taking as long as it does to cycle there.

Get there tonight. Lock bike and trailer, put on mask and get a trolley. One wheel jammed despite a good few kicks

Next trolley has caught on the bag hook of the trolley in front so eventually wrestle it out

About to enter shop and realise the shopping list is still at home. Mumble grumble. Trolley back get quid back unlock bike cycle home and then repeat.

Oh and just realised I've offered some of the folks I ride with in Thursday nights a Sunday morning ride and then back to mine for cake and bubbly to celebrate a semi unlocked birthday. Forgot the bubbly didn't i
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 13 April, 2021, 06:24:53 pm
Don't book swimming for Monday if you intend to go Tuesday, monkey boy (I was sure I booked today but the receipt reveals the full depth and depravity of my booking incompetence).

Now I have to walk up the bloody hill with the 100-step climb twice as punishment.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 April, 2021, 10:22:20 pm
We’ve just watched the first two episodes of Line of Duty S6. Well watch two episodes tomorrow evening and then the final two on Sunday evening. Well that was the plan. We’re going to have to be content with watching on episode on Sunday and then have to wait a week for the finale.
We started watching Line of Duty S6 too bloody soon!!!!!11!!!1! :'( >:(
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 17 April, 2021, 06:25:07 am
There are seven episodes in this series.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: robgul on 17 April, 2021, 07:28:01 am
There are seven episodes in this series.

Mother of God!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 17 April, 2021, 10:18:28 am
There are seven episodes in this series.

Mother of God!

(https://media.giphy.com/media/hrMQaWBMs71ph5Gtoy/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Beardy on 17 April, 2021, 12:17:28 pm
There are seven episodes in this series.
arrgghhhhhhh
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 April, 2021, 05:06:08 pm
You will find that you need not tear out your hair because your game mod is not working, as long as you check the whole log file rather than just the end.  That way you will learn that "spawn_ratio" and "spanw_ratio" are not the same thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 22 April, 2021, 06:50:33 pm
Not me.
We're having one of our bedrooms converted into a new bathroom.  (££££ :o :facepalm:)
Today the sani-ware was finally being installed.

THE TOILET IS CONECTED TO THE HOT WATER.

That's cost them.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 April, 2021, 06:52:25 pm
As long as there isn't a sani-oh-no (http://www.diyfaq.org.uk/humour.html) involved.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 22 April, 2021, 07:04:36 pm
No. Proper bog.

Poached poo.   :hand:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 April, 2021, 08:09:49 pm
Probably does a decent job of reducing the condensation on the cistern, thobut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 April, 2021, 09:12:38 pm
Numpties. Like when our kitchen fitters plumbed our washing machine into the hot water and the first wash I did was a full load of merino and Assos cycling gear.  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 April, 2021, 09:30:36 pm
Numpties. Like when our kitchen fitters plumbed our washing machine into the hot water and the first wash I did was a full load of merino and Assos cycling gear.  >:(

And ours when I was a PSO and unexpected owner of assorted teddybear jumpers.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 22 April, 2021, 09:59:10 pm
THE TOILET IS CONECTED TO THE HOT WATER.

You should get one of those Japanese toilet lid sinks (https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/51439620719095153/) installed to go with it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 22 April, 2021, 10:03:20 pm

My air filter started making weird noises. So I took it apart to clean.

There's a nut in there holding the fan assembly together.

Guess who didn't notice it was left hand thread. In trying to undo it, I crushed the assembly...

Whole thing written off.

Bugger.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 April, 2021, 10:27:59 pm
Numpties. Like when our kitchen fitters plumbed our washing machine into the hot water and the first wash I did was a full load of merino and Assos cycling gear.  >:(

And ours when I was a PSO and unexpected owner of assorted teddybear jumpers.
Fortunately for our numpties, all the Icebreaker and Assos survived being boil washed. Or they would have been sent an expensive bill.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 April, 2021, 10:35:44 pm
Numpties. Like when our kitchen fitters plumbed our washing machine into the hot water and the first wash I did was a full load of merino and Assos cycling gear.  >:(

And ours when I was a PSO and unexpected owner of assorted teddybear jumpers.
Fortunately for our numpties, all the Icebreaker and Assos survived being boil washed. Or they would have been sent an expensive bill.

That washing machine went on to have a full meltdown, with indoor rain from the condensation.  I think The Hobbit put it on a delicates wash or something, and its bitty little microcontroller couldn't cope.

Impressively, the landlord sent someone round to scratch his head at it, which is how I spotted the condensation forming on the *hot* feed hose.  Having swapped the hoses, I was able to persuade him to delay returning it to its cubbyhole while I scrounged up a marker pen and scrawled a warning to future generations on the wall beside the taps.

Same machine that I extracted a pair of tiny Y-fronts from the drain pump of.  We never worked out if they belonged to The Hobbit and had been subject to too many inadvertent boil-washes, or if they were genuine child's grundies courtesy of the machine's previous owner.   :hand:


As a result, I'm mildly nervous about our current machine with it's all-digital control panel and lack of an accessible SCRAM button.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 29 April, 2021, 07:03:37 pm
Day off so upto the allotment. Made a list of things I needed tobtake including cake. Cut a slice of cake and put it into a tub.

After an hour or so hard graft stopped for a brew and cake.......which of course was still at home
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 29 April, 2021, 08:07:59 pm
That washing machine went on to have a full meltdown, with indoor rain from the condensation.  I think The Hobbit put it on a delicates wash or something, and its bitty little microcontroller couldn't cope.

Impressively, the landlord sent someone round to scratch his head at it, which is how I spotted the condensation forming on the *hot* feed hose.  Having swapped the hoses, I was able to persuade him to delay returning it to its cubbyhole while I scrounged up a marker pen and scrawled a warning to future generations on the wall beside the taps.

If the washing machine had been fed with the hot and cold reversed, the full meltdown could have been caused by trying to cool down but just adding hot water.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 April, 2021, 12:27:49 am
That washing machine went on to have a full meltdown, with indoor rain from the condensation.  I think The Hobbit put it on a delicates wash or something, and its bitty little microcontroller couldn't cope.

Impressively, the landlord sent someone round to scratch his head at it, which is how I spotted the condensation forming on the *hot* feed hose.  Having swapped the hoses, I was able to persuade him to delay returning it to its cubbyhole while I scrounged up a marker pen and scrawled a warning to future generations on the wall beside the taps.

If the washing machine had been fed with the hot and cold reversed, the full meltdown could have been caused by trying to cool down but just adding hot water.

That was my theory, too.  Though it doesn't readily explain how it (at least appeared to) get hotter than the hot feed water.

Fortunately we buried it in a concrete sarcophagus and moved to Yorkshire.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 May, 2021, 11:52:41 am
Mr L is partaking of a six-year overdue reshelving of books and.  And DVDs and Stuffs.  In alphabetical order.

Divvery #1.  Where is my copy of Ben Aaronovitch's Foxglove Summer?  Moreover, where is my copy of Ian Banks' Stonemouth?  Getting things wrong at this stage could have Major Repercussions.

Rnser:  They are on the shelf over there <<<< which you utterly failed to notice when extracting unsorted books from the TPsOC yesterday :facepalm:

Divvery #2:  What is that DVD-shaped object on the floor by my left foot?

Rnser:  It is Hvarf/Heim by Sigur Ros and needs to be filed at the left end of the top shelf of South Ivar 1.  Place it on shelf.  It falls down the back.  Grovel on the floor to retrieve it.  Repeat x3 then notice it should go AFTER Sherlock, which is a big fat box set and thus stable enough not to indulge in lemming-like plummeting from an altitude that even Mr L cannot reach save with arms at full stretch above his head.

Has a nice sit down and a cup of Brown Drink before doing battle with the letter “D”

Edit:  Have reached “M”.  Notice that the giant space at the bottom of South Ivar 2 can be partially filled by the oversized boks on East Ivar 1.  Which means moving some of “B” and all of “C-L”.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 05 May, 2021, 03:34:28 pm
Bah!  Paper cut on one of my fingers, in just the place for the edge of the cut to catch on things.   Smurf coloured plaster on finger & now my Apple trackpad won't recognise that finger.  Luckily I have 4 others.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 05 May, 2021, 03:47:32 pm
Bah!  Paper cut on one of my fingers, in just the place for the edge of the cut to catch on things.   Smurf coloured plaster on finger & now my Apple trackpad won't recognise that finger.  Luckily I have 4 others.

4 trackpads? Seems a little excessive...

;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 05 May, 2021, 05:01:29 pm
Superglue is your friend in this situation.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 05 May, 2021, 05:08:03 pm
I’d probably end up with a trackpad glued to my hand!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 12 May, 2021, 01:08:37 pm
Lunch break.

microwave leftover homemade lasagne.
take another call
flick microwave to finish reheating
take another call
open empty microwave.   :-\ :-\


locate cold lasagne on table behind me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 12 May, 2021, 02:38:00 pm
Remember I was going to print out a document.

Hit print button.

10 minutes later, try to look at document but realise I've not picked it up from the printer yet.

Go to printer*, see three copies of document sitting in out tray.

Back at computer, check print settings - no, I didn't request three copies, so this must mean...

I'm going senile.


(*The printer lives in the other side of the house, which is a good excuse for me to get up from my desk occasionally.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 17 May, 2021, 10:46:35 am
I went to Hitchin on Saturday. I had enough change in my pocket to pay the bus fare (local bus drivers seem to be allergic to £20 notes). Walking down Bancroft heading for Wilko's I realise I haven't got my wallet :facepalm: I spent an unpleasant hour wandering around Hitchin in the pouring rain then caught the first available bus home.

Oh well, there's always next weekend.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 17 May, 2021, 11:17:12 am
1) Put in one pair of contact lenses
2) A bit of faffing later, put in second pair of contact lenses
3) Realise something's not right, remove them and start again.
4) Put in third pair of contact lenses
5) Realise that during step 3 I only removed the front pair (they normally stick together instantly)
6) Remove everything, ensure my vision is suitably blurry, then install 4th pair.

It's a good thing WFH means I have a stupidly large backlog to burn through.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 May, 2021, 12:29:38 pm
Made to put the pound coin, Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles trolley for the liberation of, back in the cup-holder of the motor-car.  Discovered it was not clutched in my grubby little paw after all.  Turn out pocketses, scan the ground, check in the boot, turn out pocketses again.  Return to trolley park.  Oh.  There it is :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 17 May, 2021, 12:40:58 pm
Made to put the pound coin, Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles trolley for the liberation of, back in the cup-holder of the motor-car.  Discovered it was not clutched in my grubby little paw after all.  Turn out pocketses, scan the ground, check in the boot, turn out pocketses again.  Return to trolley park.  Oh.  There it is :facepalm:

This is why I have one of these on the keyring.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Altocl%C3%A9-Universal-Shopping-releases-everywhere/dp/B01MSJHZVN

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 May, 2021, 01:48:38 pm
Made to put the pound coin, Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles trolley for the liberation of, back in the cup-holder of the motor-car.  Discovered it was not clutched in my grubby little paw after all.  Turn out pocketses, scan the ground, check in the boot, turn out pocketses again.  Return to trolley park.  Oh.  There it is :facepalm:

This is why I have one of these on the keyring.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Altocl%C3%A9-Universal-Shopping-releases-everywhere/dp/B01MSJHZVN

"Currently unavailable". Must be stuck in a trolley somewhere.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 17 May, 2021, 02:52:40 pm
Made to put the pound coin, Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles trolley for the liberation of, back in the cup-holder of the motor-car.  Discovered it was not clutched in my grubby little paw after all.  Turn out pocketses, scan the ground, check in the boot, turn out pocketses again.  Return to trolley park.  Oh.  There it is :facepalm:

This is why I have one of these on the keyring.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Altocl%C3%A9-Universal-Shopping-releases-everywhere/dp/B01MSJHZVN

I have the circular type clipped to one of my shopping panniers.  This works really well, as it's right there when I want to liberate a trolley.  (There isn't room on my keyring.  It's full of keys, and I refuse to hoik a carabiner around everywhere.  People might think I'm a lesbian.)

Unless I go by car, when I inevitably get to the trolleys and realise that I have neither token, nor shopping bags with me.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 May, 2021, 03:48:47 pm
I refuse to hoik a carabiner around everywhere.  People might think I'm a lesbian.)
Dear Aunt Agony,
I have a carabiner on my shopping backpack. I can't remember quite why it's there, I think it was a freebie and so I just put it there. I'm pretty sure I've never used it for anything. Does this mean I'm now a lesbian? Or have I been a lesbian all my life without realizing? So far, no one's told me they think I'm a lesbian, but that's probably because my shoes aren't sensible enough.
Confused of Kansas
 ???
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 May, 2021, 04:45:54 pm
I also have a freebie carabiner, loaded with keys, though I only ever use it when visiting Fort Larrington as it’s got the keys of said establishment on it.  It’s too big and heavy to tote around all the time.

<== Part-time lesbian?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 17 May, 2021, 05:03:27 pm
This is why I have one of these on the keyring.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Altocl%C3%A9-Universal-Shopping-releases-everywhere/dp/B01MSJHZVN

Nifty!

Over the years, I have acquired an array of branded keyring trolley tokens given away as freebies - there's obviously good business in making these as marketing gimmicks to put in goody bags. The one that currently lives on my keyring is a Helly Hansen one. Because obviously.

They're better than pound coins that live in the cup holder in the car because it's easier resist the temptation to spend them on ice cream and then find yourself short of a token when you next go shopping. However, you have to remove them from the keyring to use them. This Altoclé thing looks somewhat superior.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 May, 2021, 05:12:48 pm
The other reason for not keeping a pound coin in the cup-holder is because light-fingered grease monkeys will steal it when you take your motor-car in for a service >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 17 May, 2021, 09:55:14 pm
This is why I have one of these on the keyring.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Altocl%C3%A9-Universal-Shopping-releases-everywhere/dp/B01MSJHZVN

Nifty!

Over the years, I have acquired an array of branded keyring trolley tokens given away as freebies - there's obviously good business in making these as marketing gimmicks to put in goody bags. The one that currently lives on my keyring is a Helly Hansen one. Because obviously.

They're better than pound coins that live in the cup holder in the car because it's easier resist the temptation to spend them on ice cream and then find yourself short of a token when you next go shopping. However, you have to remove them from the keyring to use them. This Altoclé thing looks somewhat superior.

I used to have the freebie £1 replacement disks on the keyring, but the clips always broke.  The car has numerous tokens in the little cupboard for them, but I don't usually have the car when I need a token.

I didn't like the price of that tool.  I rarely go to a shop that requires said trolley token anyway.

I found it on a pavement so having recognised it picked it up in an effort to reduce litter  :-[ :P O:-)

(If you look enough on youtube, apparently there are multiple ways of just taking a trolley without need for any tool.  e.g. 02:30 to 02:45 of this video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZpdDch2o4M )
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 17 May, 2021, 10:00:20 pm
The branch of Mr Tesco's House of Toothy Comestibles that I frequent stopped needing pound coins/tokens/ect ect when Covid lockdown started. They have not reintroduced them.

Corona Bonus!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 May, 2021, 12:02:11 am
The branch of Mr Tesco's House of Toothy Comestibles that I frequent stopped needing pound coins/tokens/ect ect when Covid lockdown started. They have not reintroduced them.

Corona Bonus!

My local outpost of Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles did likewise, but reintroduced them some tome ago.  I guess our oiks are more persistent than yours.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 May, 2021, 07:22:56 pm
Fitted a 16V electrolytic capacitor where it was going to be subject to about 28 volts.  Nice dramatic explosion.  Haven't had one like that for ages.

"Are you okay?" I ask barakta, who is sitting on the side of the room where I heard the shrapnel ricochet.  "Why?" she says, having missed the BANG!...

Cleaned the schmoo off the board and replaced it with the 35V cap it should have been, noting that the diameter now matches the outline on the silkscreen, and engaged safety squint before powering up.  Everything still works.  Phew.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 May, 2021, 10:33:32 pm
Having hidden everything last week, I got the cheap Chinese tat indoor/outdoor thermometer back out and fed the probe through the open window, and duly closed the window, not noticing that the cord was going to be pressed up against a bit of metalwork in the corner.
So now I just have a cheap Chinese tat indoor thermometer.

I had noticed before I fed the probe outside that it was reading about 4°C lower than the indoor temp.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 May, 2021, 10:16:23 am
Fitted a 16V electrolytic capacitor where it was going to be subject to about 28 volts.  Nice dramatic explosion.  Haven't had one like that for ages.

"Are you okay?" I ask barakta, who is sitting on the side of the room where I heard the shrapnel ricochet.  "Why?" she says, having missed the BANG!...

Cleaned the schmoo off the board and replaced it with the 35V cap it should have been, noting that the diameter now matches the outline on the silkscreen, and engaged safety squint before powering up.  Everything still works.  Phew.

My first ever summer job, while I was still at school, was in a shop that sold and repaired tape recorders, everything from £5 Distort-o-matics up to pro Ferrographs costing half a car.  One day I went into the workshop to find the air full of the stink of fart.  "I just blew up a rectifier" said our tech, Jim.

I've never known to this day if 1960s rectifiers usually blew up with a fartacious pong, or if Jim was telling (after emitting) a porky one.  If the latter it must have been heroic, for the workshop was quite large.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 May, 2021, 10:21:16 am
Can we have an honourable mention for Professor Larrington, who managed to trip a circuit breaker at Fort Larrington while making Tea this morning?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 24 May, 2021, 10:23:51 am
Did you do a 'let there be life!' in a cod-German accent like Dr Frankenstein as you flipped the switches. I always do.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 May, 2021, 11:11:04 am
I was still abed, so only learned of the incident some time later.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 May, 2021, 04:16:05 pm
If you unload your motor-car outside the front door of Larrington Towers then have to drive it round the block to park it legally, it is wise to remember to put the Toothy Comestibles you bought on the way home from Fort Larrington in the fridge straight away.  Rather than, say, after ninety minutes of sprawling on the sofa and twatting around on the Intertubes :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 27 May, 2021, 10:10:20 pm
Spaghetti is supposed to be easy to cook.

Waiting for Mrs Nutty to get home my Sous-chef and I made a home made tomato sauce from scratch, planned meatballs from the freezer, lamb steaks from the freezer, an onion and mushroom sauce from scratch, salad from scratch, etc...   i.e. we were having a "what can we find to eat without going shopping, and make meals for three separate tastebuds and which aren't going to be rejected" evening.

Right time on the clock to get the Spaghetti water on. 
Induction hob turned to MAXIMUM
My nose started twitching, smoke was rising, I wrongly cursed recent visitors for dishwashing the saucepan and water getting above the plate.

Neither myself or 8 year old Sous-chef spotted that the pan had no water in it.    Well, I did after smoke and pong levels had risen enough.

Extractor fan and opened windows were deployed, as was cold water into the pan.


Mrs Nutty arrived home, went to get changed, and examined all hair dryers and other electrical items as there appeared to be a problem  :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: canny colin on 27 May, 2021, 10:36:27 pm
Jumped on the surplus special  trike & could not get my Look Delta  shoes /pedals to engage . Next time I will take my new cleat covers off when I leave the cafe . 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 31 May, 2021, 05:10:38 pm
Decide I'm going to paint the (very rusty) railings at the front of the house while MrsC is away. Derust, paint. The sun is low while I'm finishing the painting, so I'm squinting a bit as I work.

Next day, look at railings. Few little spots missed, particularly around curlicues. NP, I'll touch that up.

Except I won't. Because I've painted it in Hammerite smooth, which has an overcoat time of 30m - 4hours or two weeks later.

Arse, and double arse. I could have touched it up the same day. Now I have to wait two weeks, which will be after MrsC returns.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 May, 2021, 06:14:57 pm
Decide I'm going to paint the (very rusty) railings at the front of the house while MrsC is away. Derust, paint. The sun is low while I'm finishing the painting, so I'm squinting a bit as I work.

Next day, look at railings. Few little spots missed, particularly around curlicues. NP, I'll touch that up.

Except I won't. Because I've painted it in Hammerite smooth, which has an overcoat time of 30m - 4hours or two weeks later.

Arse, and double arse. I could have touched it up the same day. Now I have to wait two weeks, which will be after MrsC returns.

It’s in a marine environment. It’ll rust anyway. Just paint it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 02 June, 2021, 02:46:16 pm
Get changed to go cycling, collect bike, carry it downstairs, get on bike.
Only at this point do I realise that I am wearing my road cycling shoes, which have cleats, but am about to ride my mountain bike, which has flat pedals. So I had to go back up to the flat to change my shoes. Mr fimm thought this was hilarious.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 02 June, 2021, 04:12:23 pm
Get changed to go cycling, collect bike, carry it downstairs, get on bike.
Only at this point do I realise that I am wearing my road cycling shoes, which have cleats, but am about to ride my mountain bike, which has flat pedals. So I had to go back up to the flat to change my shoes. Mr fimm thought this was hilarious.
I once stood next to my bike outside the front door ready for the morning commute with a strong feeling that something was wrong.  I eventually realised what it was.
"Ah, no cleats on these bedroom slippers."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 02 June, 2021, 06:28:44 pm
Get changed to go cycling, collect bike, carry it downstairs, get on bike.
Only at this point do I realise that I am wearing my road cycling shoes, which have cleats, but am about to ride my mountain bike, which has flat pedals. So I had to go back up to the flat to change my shoes. Mr fimm thought this was hilarious.
I once stood next to my bike outside the front door ready for the morning commute with a strong feeling that something was wrong.  I eventually realised what it was.
"Ah, no cleats on these bedroom slippers."

My worst was...
arrive at work, take bike into server room.
take off lycra and hang on back of biggest and warmest server to dry
put on work suit left on rack overnight
 finish tying shoe laces ...    stand up ....  walk to door ...   realise trousers are still on the desk.

ten seconds later I'd have swiped the security card and entered the crowded foyer of the entire building waiting for the lifts to their floors.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 02 June, 2021, 06:54:00 pm
Pah once "lost" a sealskin sock I used to wear over my work socks when cycling home in winter. The really tight other shoe didn't give me enough of a clue that I'd stuck both extra socks on the same foot.

Incidentally in mid winter when it would freeze your camelbak tube I'd put a carrier bag between the socks for extra warmth
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 02 June, 2021, 08:53:55 pm
Arrive at work to find underwear was still at home!  Cue for wearing two sets of Theatre scrubs
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 02 June, 2021, 09:18:58 pm
Get changed to go cycling, collect bike, carry it downstairs, get on bike.
Only at this point do I realise that I am wearing my road cycling shoes, which have cleats, but am about to ride my mountain bike, which has flat pedals. So I had to go back up to the flat to change my shoes. Mr fimm thought this was hilarious.
I once stood next to my bike outside the front door ready for the morning commute with a strong feeling that something was wrong.  I eventually realised what it was.
"Ah, no cleats on these bedroom slippers."

Yep - I did that about 3 weeks ago.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: graculus on 03 June, 2021, 02:02:40 pm
Cycled into work* this morning to sign a leaving card. Got back home to realise I'm not wearing my padded mitts . There's one clinging grimly to the rack where I put it after taking them off, so had to retrace my route in the hope of finding the other. I did, 100m away from work.

*OK, the education & environment centre for young people that I sometimes run sessions at. What with Covid and L.A. cuts I haven't been doing much for them of late.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 03 June, 2021, 02:29:40 pm
Didn't Andy Allsop turn up at the start of his first audax, look down at his feet and think "Crivens! These are not the clipless shoes I need."?  Extra bonus Divery is due, as his first Audax was LEL.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 June, 2021, 05:17:11 pm
Arrive at work to find underwear was still at home!  Cue for wearing two sets of Theatre scrubs

Women have a distinct advantage here as a pair of knickers is so insubstantial that it's always possible to hide spare/emergency undies almost anywhere so they're usually available.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 June, 2021, 05:52:32 pm
Arrive at work to find underwear was still at home!  Cue for wearing two sets of Theatre scrubs

Women have a distinct advantage here as a pair of knickers is so insubstantial that it's always possible to hide spare/emergency undies almost anywhere so they're usually available.

Trouser leg would be traditional...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 03 June, 2021, 07:12:49 pm
Arrive at work to find underwear was still at home!  Cue for wearing two sets of Theatre scrubs

Women have a distinct advantage here as a pair of knickers is so insubstantial that it's always possible to hide spare/emergency undies almost anywhere so they're usually available.

Trouser leg would be traditional...
only to be found after you have taken creative action to overcome the issues associated with going commando.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 June, 2021, 05:27:06 pm
The project continues and in spite of being knackered from the (up to now) 8 days of manual labour, mentally I’m feeling good. 

However, I have discovered why all the training films I watched as an apprentice said not to hold work pieces in the hand when using a screwdriver or (though no one would be so stupid) an electric drill. I now have a ‘tight’ red index finger with a neat 3mm pilot hole in it above the top knuckle.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 08 June, 2021, 07:47:33 pm
ouch
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 08 June, 2021, 09:10:42 pm
Who took my fettling injury title away from me whilst I had a sabbatical?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 June, 2021, 09:12:58 pm
Of course, the only interest shown by either of the nurses I currently live with (Dr Beardy and Ms Beardy the younger) is the possibility of it needing to be aspirated, a task which they may come to blows over who gets to do it! No actual sympathy obv.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 12 June, 2021, 11:43:58 am
So , I bought a Panasonic Breadmaker.   Well regarded & pretty foolproof you'd think ?   You've not met this pretty fool.....   


1st loaf OK.
2nd loaf I added the dry ingredients , but forgot to add water.   I realised this when I opened the thing up after 4 hours to find a load of lightly toasted flour....
3rd loaf I added all the dry ingredients, added the water, set the thing to Go, then noticed the paddle sitting on the bench next to the machine, where I'd left it after cleaning up the previous mess.


 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 12 June, 2021, 12:24:13 pm
Next trick is to omit the yeast  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 12 June, 2021, 05:11:35 pm
As it was quarter past four I thought I'd turn on the telly to see how the first 15 minutes had gone for the Welsh footy team.  I was presented with Gareth Bale in a post match interview.  Doh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 12 June, 2021, 09:19:31 pm
Next trick is to omit the yeast  ;D

Been there, done that.

I couldn't decide whether to eat the cannonball or take it down the range and offer it to the cannon section to test.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 15 June, 2021, 06:30:46 pm
Yesterday I found an unset mousetrap on the garage floor with a nibbled peanut.  I don't recall leaving it there.  I put it out of danger on a shelf.
This morning I noticed that the peanut was no more.
Conclusion: I have visitors again.

New peanut fitted, trap placed in yesterday's position.   Mental note made that it was a silly position and I mustn't step on it.



This evening, guess what I stepped on... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 15 June, 2021, 09:29:05 pm
A peanut?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 June, 2021, 09:49:57 pm
It’s fine to tip the poaching water from the pan straight down the sink.

Just remember to take the egg out first.

Especially if it was your last egg.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 15 June, 2021, 10:12:35 pm
You need to shell out for some more.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 June, 2021, 11:34:14 pm
It’s no yolk when you do that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 June, 2021, 12:00:00 am
Yeah, white…
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 June, 2021, 06:44:32 am
Thanks for the sympathy, you bastards. ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 16 June, 2021, 07:09:36 am
A peanut?

yeah, they were originally after the bird food I was storing in there, but not any more.   If there is an issue then I always bait traps with the same food source that they are used to.

I'd prefer not to use the traps, but they've chewed through my inner tube store in the past, and also the mains cables.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 June, 2021, 09:26:30 am
A peanut?

IME mice much prefer a peanut (or peanut butter) to the canonical cheese.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 June, 2021, 09:36:58 am
In Surrey, they won't come out for less than organic single-estate cashew.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 16 June, 2021, 12:01:31 pm
Oh I was more being silly and guessing that nutty had stood on a peanut when I assume he meant he stood on the trap.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: spesh on 16 June, 2021, 12:33:02 pm
Thanks for the sympathy, you bastards. ;D

That other forumites would have scrambled to crack bad puns was something you really should have been aware œuf.  ;)

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 16 June, 2021, 12:39:15 pm
There's no ovoiding this kind of punnery.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 June, 2021, 04:53:57 pm
Adobe framemaker has a transferable file format.

File extension is .milf

Don't google for milf conversion while you are on a conference call.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 June, 2021, 05:03:54 pm
I hate to spoil it, but I think it's .mif
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 16 June, 2021, 06:22:53 pm
Adobe framemaker has a transferable file format.

File extension is .milf

Don't google for milf conversion while you are on a conference call.

Nothing to do with de-radicalising former members of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, then?  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 June, 2021, 07:47:28 pm
It's like the time in the mothership conference room, with a glass front overlooking the goodly passersby of Hatton Garden, when my boss of yore inadvertently typed the wrong URL. It featured the sequence of letters anal. Those videos start to autoplay. Then it turned into porn-popup whack-a-mole. He was an old fella of a genteel Southern nature and really didn't have the youthful reflexes required to bring that under control. We helped by laughing ourselves a puddle.

Sadly, as someone who learned Framemaker + SGML the hard way (there is no easy way - Ed), it's .mif (Maker Interchange Format) unless someone at Adobe in the intervening years gained a sense of humour, which seems unlikely.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 June, 2021, 11:01:51 am
Mr Larrington is ascending the final flight of stairs to Bedfordshire.  But soft!  What is that noise emerging from the bedchamber, where no noise should be?

You left the fan cooling your empty bed all day, you utter divot :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 June, 2021, 11:32:23 am
It's like the time in the mothership conference room, with a glass front overlooking the goodly passersby of Hatton Garden, when my boss of yore inadvertently typed the wrong URL. It featured the sequence of letters anal. Those videos start to autoplay. Then it turned into porn-popup whack-a-mole. He was an old fella of a genteel Southern nature and really didn't have the youthful reflexes required to bring that under control. We helped by laughing ourselves a puddle.

Sadly, as someone who learned Framemaker + SGML the hard way (there is no easy way - Ed), it's .mif (Maker Interchange Format) unless someone at Adobe in the intervening years gained a sense of humour, which seems unlikely.

No you are right, it is still MIF. Must have been my mind wandering.

Nobody at Adobe has a sense of humour. 'Customer support' means the customers give you money and you, erm, what?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 17 June, 2021, 12:22:31 pm
No you are right, it is still MIF. Must have been my mind wandering.

Freudian slip? (Very literally freudian, in this case)

Quote
Nobody at Adobe has a sense of humour.

I dunno - have you seen their pricing structures?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2021, 01:43:13 pm
Good point, I don't have to pay them (surprised someone hasn't pulled my access).

Framemaker, happy days. Though if you've ever been handed someone's entire book which they've helpfully written and formatted for you in LaTeX, you will know and understand despair like no other.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 June, 2021, 02:27:46 pm
Chopped the lunchtime salad, put it in the colander and washed it, then put it in one of the big glass bowls we serve it up in.  Made the vinaigrette but set it aside until we were done cooking. Cooking over, gave the vinaigrette another whisk then got out one of the big glass serving bowls and emptied the salad into it... from the big glass bowl it was already in.  ??? Stood there holding both bowls and feeling like a right Charlie.

Footnote: Until he was about 5, our son thought MrsT's father's name was Charlie because his wife was always calling him a right one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 17 June, 2021, 05:34:28 pm
You left the fan cooling heating your empty bed all day, you utter divot :facepalm:

FTFY
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 17 June, 2021, 07:17:35 pm
This morning I woke up early.
Fine, I thought, I'll go in to work early and come home early.
I left home at around 05:30.
I'd got some 50 yards up the road when I realised that I didn't have my mask.
No problem, I turned back but then, to my horror, I realised that my house keys were in my other shorts - not the ones I was currently wearing.
Shit. Fuck and Bollocks!
I've a spare set of keys at my friends house which is a ~25 minute walk away.
I tried to call for a minicab - but since pandemic they're no longer 24hrs and besides, without a mask they'd not take me.
I started to walk that way.
Then I realised that my friends actually away in Warbleswick this week.
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
My one hope was that their daughter was home, and not staying with her boyfriend.
MERDE!
On the topic of which, my bowels, at this point, decided that they needed immediate evacuation. Not in five minutes. Not in ten. But NOW!
Seriously, this was going to be a bad look.
I considered climbing over the fence into Mayow Park and leaving a deposit there - this was 05:50AM and there was nobody around.
Thankfully Millie (my friend's daughter) was at home akip in bed.
I don't think Millie has ever seen me at 05:55AM.
It isn't pretty.
This evening, a key safe has been fitted to the wall of my house.
Why it has taken 18 years of residing at this address to do this is beyond me.
And relax.

Do I win anything?
Like, is there a prize or anyfink?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 17 June, 2021, 07:44:05 pm
I hope you reviewed the reviews of keysafes by the lock picking lawyer on that utoob before you chose which keysafe was safe for your keys.

 
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 17 June, 2021, 07:46:39 pm
I hope you reviewed the reviews of keysafes by the lock picking lawyer on that utoob before you chose which keysafe was safe for,your keys. Spoiler alert: none of them.
I'm deft at picking locks/opening combination locks myself.
This key safe relies on being well out of sight.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2021, 08:08:31 pm
I do keep remembering to forget to squirrel away a spare key somewhere, every time I remember that the existing spare keys are now with people who have emigrated beyond the London pale into darkest Oxfordshire and Kent, and thus rendering their spare key services somewhat impractical. Less of an issue in Covid-times, of course, but when my wife used to be out of the country a lot, well, there was a chance I'd be sleeping in the local Travelodge. I'm doubly scared of the porch because it has a slam-lock door to the house and if I don't have my key to the outer door, that's that, I'm living off the catfood supplies until someone rescues me. At least in winter it doubles as the beer-cooling room, in summer it'd be more Cool Hand Luke to be stuck in there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 17 June, 2021, 11:37:35 pm
When we built our house the garage had an electric door. Nobody understood why I wanted a keypad to control it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 18 June, 2021, 06:10:18 am
I’ve only ever lost my once in my life.  On a train returning to that London from leafy Cheshire. In my bag was a key safe that I’d bought the previous day to fit just in case someone came home “sans clef” so to speak.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 June, 2021, 08:34:13 am
I do keep remembering to forget to squirrel away a spare key somewhere,

in the context, <snigger>.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: trickedem on 18 June, 2021, 11:13:38 am
If you are dismantling the u-bend under your kitchen sink, don't pour the contents of said u-bend down the sink :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 18 June, 2021, 11:14:45 am
If you are dismantling the u-bend under your kitchen sink, don't pour the contents of said u-bend down the sink :-[

If it's any consolation, you are definitely not the first person to do that. DAMHIKT
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 June, 2021, 11:27:08 am
...And make sure everyone in the vicinity knows not to as well.  The Inlaw Maw did this while the Inlaw Paw was still underneath.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 18 June, 2021, 11:36:40 am
If you are dismantling the u-bend under your kitchen sink, don't pour the contents of said u-bend down the sink :-[

If it's any consolation, you are definitely not the first person to do that. DAMHIKT

It doesn't matter how many times I say "I must not do that again" and put the plug in, I still forget.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 18 June, 2021, 11:39:23 am
I try to have a bowl underneath to catch the drips when I undo the trap tip the contents back down the sink.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 18 June, 2021, 11:46:40 am
If you are dismantling the u-bend under your kitchen sink, don't pour the contents of said u-bend down the sink :-[

If it's any consolation, you are definitely not the first person to do that. DAMHIKT

I was going to say "+1", but that would sound like I've only done it once.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 18 June, 2021, 11:53:33 am
Don't google for milf conversion while you are on a conference call.

Many years ago we were doing some stuff at work around the DISC personality profile thing that was being used as part of the recruitment process.
A rather sweet, innocent young lady was putting together a presentation on each of the D I S C personality aspects, up on the projector. When we got to the end with words in place, she started working backwards with doing google image search to put in pictures on each slide to illustrate the concepts rather than have a bland presentation.

Conscientiousness - no problem
Steadyness - ok
Influence - fine

Here's a top tip she learnt that day. Don't do an image search for Dominance when you are projecting to a room full of people  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Neil C on 18 June, 2021, 12:05:18 pm
I was going to say "+1", but that would sound like I've only done it once.
+1
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 18 June, 2021, 03:58:25 pm
If you notice there's a major ant incursion along the bottom of the patio door don't pull out the old silicone sealant that they're getting past before you check whether your unopened tube has dried up in the tube and set into a solid lump.

Now it's just easier for the ants to get in.

And I really really don't want to walk down to B&Q.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JonBuoy on 19 June, 2021, 01:53:08 pm
I had an annoying once-per-pedal-rev tick on the MTB.  For no good reason I decided that it was probably the HT2 bottom bracket so removed the chainset and the non-drive side did indeed feel ever so slightly rough.  The surprisingly expensive replacement that I ordered arrived this morning and was fitted within the hour.  A quick test ride showed that the tick was still there  >:(

I then spent a good 30 seconds tightening the pedals and another quick test ride was tickless.

This isn't the first time that it has taken me ages to track down a noise from a loose pedal  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 June, 2021, 02:10:09 pm
Posting on behalf of our local council, who saw fit to publish the dates for our regional elections and the address of our polling station, but not the opening and closing times.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 19 June, 2021, 11:37:07 pm
Started to add cranberry juice drink to my porridge oats this morning instead of the milk.
I did, for a moment, consider making the porridge thus, then decided that experiment could wait until another time, when I wasn't so hungry and eager for proper oatyness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 June, 2021, 04:32:15 pm
Today I have discovered that my Sennheiser in-ear headphones are surprisingly washing-machine resistant.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 20 June, 2021, 09:35:05 pm
Today I have discovered that my Sennheiser in-ear headphones are surprisingly washing-machine resistant.

The biggest question is whether your ears are clean and did your hair come out as well as intended?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 June, 2021, 09:45:35 pm
Today I have discovered that my Sennheiser in-ear headphones are surprisingly washing-machine resistant.

The biggest question is whether your ears are clean and did your hair come out as well as intended?

Wot?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Arminius on 21 June, 2021, 08:22:39 am
I think that nutty has (non-seriously) inferred that you were wearing them when they went through the washing machine.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 21 June, 2021, 11:04:42 am
Indeed.

I forget sometimes that my sense of humour doesn't always come across in written media, especially when I have a surreal image in my head and forget that others don't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Salvatore on 21 June, 2021, 11:32:21 am
I had an annoying once-per-pedal-rev tick on the MTB.  For no good reason I decided that it was probably the HT2 bottom bracket so removed the chainset and the non-drive side did indeed feel ever so slightly rough.  The surprisingly expensive replacement that I ordered arrived this morning and was fitted within the hour.  A quick test ride showed that the tick was still there  >:(

I then spent a good 30 seconds tightening the pedals and another quick test ride was tickless.

This isn't the first time that it has taken me ages to track down a noise from a loose pedal  ::-)

Decades ago I was touring in Scotland, and an intermittent click, once per pedal revolution, was really annoying me. One day it was absent, on the next day it returned. Sometimes I could hear it in the morning but it would be gone by the afternoon. On a campsite in Perthshire I took off the cranks and adjusted the bottom bracket. I made sure there was no play in the pedals. I checked my cleats. I massaged my knee. The next morning I convinced myself that I had somehow fettled the click away, but it returned in the afternoon. Only later when I realised that the click only occurred during or straight after rain did I track down the cause - the plastic toggle on the drawstring of my rain jacket was swinging in time with my pedalling and hitting the top tube. D'Oh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 21 June, 2021, 11:41:03 am
I had an annoying once-per-pedal-rev tick on the MTB.  For no good reason I decided that it was probably the HT2 bottom bracket so removed the chainset and the non-drive side did indeed feel ever so slightly rough.  The surprisingly expensive replacement that I ordered arrived this morning and was fitted within the hour.  A quick test ride showed that the tick was still there  >:(

I then spent a good 30 seconds tightening the pedals and another quick test ride was tickless.

This isn't the first time that it has taken me ages to track down a noise from a loose pedal  ::-)

Decades ago I was touring in Scotland, and an intermittent click, once per pedal revolution, was really annoying me. One day it was absent, on the next day it returned. Sometimes I could hear it in the morning but it would be gone by the afternoon. On a campsite in Perthshire I took off the cranks and adjusted the bottom bracket. I made sure there was no play in the pedals. I checked my cleats. I massaged my knee. The next morning I convinced myself that I had somehow fettled the click away, but it returned in the afternoon. Only later when I realised that the click only occurred during or straight after rain did I track down the cause - the plastic toggle on the drawstring of my rain jacket was swinging in time with my pedalling and hitting the top tube. D'Oh!

Don't ask me how long it took to identify the cause of the intermittent click from my cranks. Eventually I realised it only happened when on the granny ring and that the tail of the gear cable was catching the crank for a tick each rotation of the pedals.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 21 June, 2021, 11:53:37 am
Clambering over a wet stile at the weekend, I turned to say something to my wife, and promptly my feet slid out from underneath , depositing me hard on the clackety wood. Which then bounced me into a pile of brambles. As I lay there, in sweary contemplation and a puddle, a horse fly landed on my hand and, without preamble, bit me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 June, 2021, 12:01:55 pm
I got bitten by a horse fly over the weekend, but my fast reactions in flicking it off saved me much anguish. Mind ewe, I’d probably have done less damage had I realised the steel ruler I had in my hand and this used, had very sharp edges  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 June, 2021, 12:07:01 pm
I think that nutty has (non-seriously) inferred that you were wearing them when they went through the washing machine.

And I was non-seriously inferring my ears weren't clean, in response...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 June, 2021, 12:54:17 pm
I had an annoying once-per-pedal-rev tick on the MTB.  For no good reason I decided that it was probably the HT2 bottom bracket so removed the chainset and the non-drive side did indeed feel ever so slightly rough.  The surprisingly expensive replacement that I ordered arrived this morning and was fitted within the hour.  A quick test ride showed that the tick was still there  >:(

I then spent a good 30 seconds tightening the pedals and another quick test ride was tickless.

This isn't the first time that it has taken me ages to track down a noise from a loose pedal  ::-)

Decades ago I was touring in Scotland, and an intermittent click, once per pedal revolution, was really annoying me. One day it was absent, on the next day it returned. Sometimes I could hear it in the morning but it would be gone by the afternoon. On a campsite in Perthshire I took off the cranks and adjusted the bottom bracket. I made sure there was no play in the pedals. I checked my cleats. I massaged my knee. The next morning I convinced myself that I had somehow fettled the click away, but it returned in the afternoon. Only later when I realised that the click only occurred during or straight after rain did I track down the cause - the plastic toggle on the drawstring of my rain jacket was swinging in time with my pedalling and hitting the top tube. D'Oh!

The annoying rattle while traversing bumpy roads* on my Kingcycle was eventually traced to the bracelet of my watch…

* Which, in London’s famous London, is approximately all of them
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 June, 2021, 01:17:24 pm
Indeed.

I forget sometimes that my sense of humour doesn't always come across in written media, especially when I have a surreal image in my head and forget that others don't.

As when I was struck the other day by the fact that my eTrex showed 33°C when I was riding in a 30 limit, but there were no police around so I risked it. When I mentioned it later nobody laughed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 21 June, 2021, 01:51:26 pm
I got bitten by a horse fly over the weekend, but my fast reactions in flicking it off saved me much anguish. Mind ewe, I’d probably have done less damage had I realised the steel ruler I had in my hand and this used, had very sharp edges  :facepalm:

I tried sarcasm. Oh really, you're going to do now? Yes, apparently. Horse flies do not respect the rhetorical arts. Now, added to my injuries, which look like I tried to arm-wrestle a garden strimmer, is a large itchy lump on my hand.

The worst bit was pulling off my trousers when we got home about eight hours later, the blood from my leg had dried and essentially welded the fabric to the stile-imparted injury, so it had to torn free like velcro, if half of it were skin and scab and the rest comprised screaming. I made a noise like a distressed steam train when finally in the shower. Now a massive purple bruise that I'm looking forward to showing off at the pool.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 21 June, 2021, 10:05:29 pm
Ah, glasshopper, to become one with div-inity you must emblace the core of the div.

<checks thread season ticket, still valid>

I'm making some industrial style brackets for Miss Ham's home. They are for the bathroom, they want two short shelves from scaffold plank fixed to t'wall. My design, such as it is, is made out of 40mmx3mm mild steel strip. Two straps, drilled for dome head screws to fix to the wall. A piece of steel attached to the strap at 90deg with a little lip at the end. Not much strength in that alone, but a hidden screw through the back of the strap, and one up through the bracket should actually brace it sufficiently. If that isn't enough, a strut from 10mm rod will.

Anyhow, it's really a very simple design, so no need to draw up plans. I know the depth of the board is 225mm so if I cut the steel 225, and I drill the fixing holes to accommodate the tiles 10cm depth what can go wrong.

Nothing with cutting and drilling the wall plates.

Nothing with fixing the 90 degree 225mm steel supports

Now, I have 4 (count 'em) small pieces of steel to weld on the ends.

The first one, I manage to weld one up, and one down. Oh well, cut another, weld on and cut the wrong one off.

Weld the second.

Realise that I've welded inside the 225mm rather than on the end. Oh well, that means I'll have to cut a 3mm recess in the the board, that actually makes it all a better fit, nowhere for things to slip down the back.

All done, then? Good

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 22 June, 2021, 07:31:43 am
How long is the piece of scaffold board (i.e. width of shelf)? - will the board supports take the weight without bending?

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 22 June, 2021, 08:10:10 am
The shelf will be 45 cm wide, I'm going to mount to a board to test. I imagine a fixing will be needed above the bottom shelf to stop the wall strap being pulled away by the torque. Some kind of brace may be needed, a 25mm 45 deg fillet would likely be enough, or, as above, a longer brace. The length of the shelf support is for appearances, not strength. Finish is likely to be smooth black hammerite, as I don't think lacquer/varnish will cut it in the bathroom, which gives me some latitude with the finish. Just as well as it looks like I'm going to be grinding off quite a bit here and there.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 22 June, 2021, 12:54:00 pm
Oh bugger, damn, and blast!

I knocked my bike over whilst cleaning it and it hit the brick wall on the way down and took a big chunk out of the leather saddle.

Boo!!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: trickedem on 22 June, 2021, 01:59:09 pm
I have been moving a hot water pipe. I was so pleased with my neat soldering. However when I turned the water on, nothing was coming through.  I then managed to convince myself that the problem was likely to be the pipe I had bent and it had become crushed. So I set about cutting out all my good work from the day before that involved 4 soldered joints only to find the pipe was absolutely fine.  A little bit of further investigation with a spanner revealed that some brick debris had got lodged in the isolation valve near the tap :'(   I then had to spend another 3 hours replacing all the pipework I had cut out earlier.  I expect this is one of the first lessons they give at plumbing school.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 22 June, 2021, 07:47:25 pm
You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 22 June, 2021, 07:56:20 pm
You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

I applaud you Sir!   I used to have the crown of fettling eejit on here, but I gladly hand it over.    :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I was amazed at how much water a fire extinguisher held (I was only emptying it as I wanted to cut it up to weld and create an artistic masterpiece).       That item has had positive feedback, and I want to make another... but I haven't yet dared to empty the powder extinguisher.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 22 June, 2021, 08:01:51 pm
A long, long time ago, I had a summer job at the research lab where my dad worked. As there were about half a dozen students like me there that year, they did some training, including letting off fire extinguishers. As you say, there's a lot of powder in the powder ones and there's a lot of water in the water ones. The CO2 ones make a hell of a racket.

I'm sure I learned other things while I was there, but that's about all I remember.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 June, 2021, 08:02:50 pm
"Don't be on fire"?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 22 June, 2021, 08:45:37 pm
I still remember a late session in my fire-marshal training.   The fire brigade set fire to a large gas cylinder and asked us to resolve the issue.

Much conflaburation in the group in front of me as to whether it was powder or foam or CO2.....     during which time a fireman gave up and casually walked up to the cylinder and turned the valve off to remove the fuel supply.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 22 June, 2021, 08:47:34 pm
You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?
Time to steer clear of sharp objects...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 23 June, 2021, 07:55:29 am
You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?
Time to steer clear of sharp objects...

My conclusion, too.

Those flames things?? They're scary. And fast. And smelly. And smoky. I think I'd become a little blase about welding around a load of highly flammable stuff.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 23 June, 2021, 09:28:14 am
You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?
Time to steer clear of sharp objects...

My conclusion, too.

Those flames things?? They're scary. And fast. And smelly. And smoky. I think I'd become a little blase about welding around a load of highly flammable stuff.
I dear old Granny would happily point out that these things usually come in threes. Just thought I should warn you.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ravenbait on 23 June, 2021, 09:40:36 am
Building a wheel yesterday, and was well pleased with myself for it being almost entirely true and round having done little more than tighten up the spokes. Then I checked the dishing.

Then I spent hours bruising my thumb to a chorus of ever-more alarming pings and scroinks trying to fix it.

Then I realised I had been consistently loosening and tightening the wrong sides for what I wanted to achieve.

Idiot.

Sam
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 23 June, 2021, 01:05:51 pm
You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?
Time to steer clear of sharp objects...

My conclusion, too.

Those flames things?? They're scary. And fast. And smelly. And smoky. I think I'd become a little blase about welding around a load of highly flammable stuff.
I dear old Granny would happily point out that these things usually come in threes. Just thought I should warn you.

<Fate shaves a smidgen more off his dice>  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 June, 2021, 05:09:04 pm
I bought a 115mm BB because the 113mm ran the chainring a bit close to the frame.  Fitted it, and it gives exactly the same chainline.  I think removing and refitting the crank has caused it to creep up the spindle by another mm  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 23 June, 2021, 05:27:48 pm
I have holes to drill in concrete blocks (made with Hebridean gneiss, because the manufacturers are bastards).

cordless drill won't touch it. So I pull out my old cheap mains. Needs a bit of welly.

Lean up hard against drill to get the pressure on.

OW BASTARD F*CK!

Shouldn't those wires going into the drill have insulation covering them? The live and neutral wires that I just pressed into my chest?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 23 June, 2021, 07:48:23 pm
Treat that Lewisian Gneiss with respect pls, it's quite old you know. In fact, at least 1.7 Billion yo. It deserves our respect.  I spent a lot of time on the Hebrides as a geology student. Some of the best days of my life.

The Earth belongs unto the Lord
And all that it contains
Except for the Hebrides
And they belong MacBraynes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 27 June, 2021, 06:43:38 pm
You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

So, bearing in mind I had to finish these, what additional divinity could I fit in?

Well, first off, I moved the welding outside, it seemed a little safer. Of course, mig welding outside is challenging because of the wind. I looked at the first couple of beads and though "Crikey, that really does look as if the wind is blowing the gas away" So I tried to get closer and shield it a little more. Still a crap weld. Ah. Maybe if I turn the gas on .....  :facepalm:

I'd sliced off all the bracket ends, what with them all being 3mm short from having been welded on the inside, and of course on two of them, you guessed it, I welded them back uʍop ǝpᴉsdn

I've finished them now.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 June, 2021, 10:06:53 pm
Saved £notverymuch by buying a "new other" Brompton gear cable from eBay.  Totally useless as the end of the inner wire had, of course, been crushed, making it impossible to thread through the shifter.  And you can't shorten them.  Oh well, I have a nice outer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 03 July, 2021, 09:18:47 pm
Yet another one.
I know it's a couple of hours since I prepared the pizzas including chopped chillies and I've washed my hands a number of times since then, but it's still a little unwise to vigorously rub my eyes with said hands.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 03 July, 2021, 09:29:13 pm
Put the new super compact chain rings on, reassembled the cranks the. Looked at it, thought the FD would not come low enough - so disassembled it all and put the original chainrings back on. Then realised they were oval and I was measuring at the wrong point! 

So disassembled, and put the new rings on. It worked perfectly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 04 July, 2021, 04:54:32 pm
I do love a bit of marketing speak, even when it really doesn’t make any sense. I mean, in what way are ‘compact chain rings’ not just smaller rings ?  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 04 July, 2021, 06:07:18 pm
I agree, I put on the really small chainrings.

Then I forgot to switch off the heater on the Ultrasonic bath, so I opened the garage door today to a pungent odour and a sludge at the bottom!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 05 July, 2021, 09:18:26 am
It's best to check the carafe is in the coffee maker before you switch it on and walk away.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ravenbait on 05 July, 2021, 04:44:37 pm
Yet another one.
I know it's a couple of hours since I prepared the pizzas including chopped chillies and I've washed my hands a number of times since then, but it's still a little unwise to vigorously rub my eyes with said hands.

I know it's not environmentally friendly, but having got capsaicin in my eye socket too many times, I now glove up to handle chillis. The oil gets on my prosthetic and it's a total bugger to clean off because the surface is slightly porous.

Sam
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 July, 2021, 09:18:25 pm
 :hand:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 05 July, 2021, 09:22:22 pm
I tend to use scissors if cutting hot 🌶.  My brother once cut them before putting in his contacts. For a while he didn't even know it was in or not
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 09 July, 2021, 01:56:53 pm
There were two that really prove I need a holiday. I can't remember what the second one was.

This one though. Last night dropping the mother home who had baby sat the kids. Stop at traffic lights. See the other traffic stop and the car opposite indicating to turn in front of me so off I go completely missing the fact light was still red. Lights went green as I was about half way through junction
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 July, 2021, 02:03:42 pm
I tend to use scissors if cutting hot 🌶.  My brother once cut them before putting in his contacts. For a while he didn't even know it was in or not
That's what she said.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 July, 2021, 07:45:14 pm
End of long week (started by taking ferry to Ullapool, then driving to Cambridge in one go).

So - start new job. Usually IT problems to resolve, etc.

Time to go home! (well, drive to York first).

Carry monitor, bundle of cable to car. Blip open boot, dump cables etc in boot. Close boot.

Keys, in pocket. Erm no. Feeling of dread. Turn around. Keys on pile of cables in boot. Boot that instantly locks when closed.

Fuck fuck fuck. Instead of early escape to York, I'm sitting (2.5hours and counting) for auto-locksmith to turn up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 July, 2021, 07:57:28 pm
Oh-oh. They should stop making boots do that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 July, 2021, 07:59:22 pm
Oh-oh. They should stop making boots do that.
It is bloody stupid and particularly annoys me when unloading car in the rain. Every trip out to car I have to unlock boot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 July, 2021, 08:01:46 pm
They should make some sort of proximity sensor. Keys near, boot open, keys move away, boot closes.
Then you can open the boot without having the keys in your hand and no temptation to put them down in it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 09 July, 2021, 09:27:33 pm
Or just do away with auto-locking.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 July, 2021, 12:04:19 am
The FAFC locked me out when I was in Lancaster and the spare keys were in Londonton >:(  Though the boot only auto-locks if you use the boot-only button to unlock it in the first place.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 July, 2021, 09:26:02 am
I tend to use scissors if cutting hot 🌶.  My brother once cut them before putting in his contacts. For a while he didn't even know it was in or not

Our parrot's seed mix includes dried chillis (they don't affects parrots the way they do us).  For years I've been getting a runny nose every time I shake up his pots in the morning before topping them up, and I only just realized a week back that particles from the chillis could be the culprit. They're not dusty items but there's plenty of dust in the seed once he's had a go at it.  Now I wear a mask, which sometimes works.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Salvatore on 10 July, 2021, 01:19:40 pm
Oh-oh. They should stop making boots do that.

But that would have deprived us of a Sunday morning's entertainment on a YACF camping weekend when LEE found himself locked out of his car. His own fault - he could have come by bike.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 10 July, 2021, 07:12:12 pm
Oh-oh. They should stop making boots do that.

Some cars won’t lock with the keys inside them. And of course, the much criticised “keyless” entry allows you to open the booth in cases like that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 10 July, 2021, 07:32:54 pm
Obviously doesn't help if keys are accidentally in it but when inworked at a garage I learnt the hard way to open a window if leaving a car running with keys in it

Thankfully we had the tools to break in when I learnt
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 11 July, 2021, 01:17:28 pm
Some cars won’t lock with the keys inside them.

I've heard this claimed before but there's no straightforward technology for working out if the fob is inside or outside. Some of them disable the remote when the key is in the ignition, and some of them won't lock if any door is open, which can prevent some keys-locked-inside-car scenarios.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 11 July, 2021, 04:06:23 pm
My car will not lock with the keys inside. It’s keyless ignition and a keyless entry with a button on the doorhandle to lock and unlock the doors. When the keys are inside it won’t respond to the buttons being pressed. I haven’t tried operating the locking while the boot is open and then leaving the keys in the boot so can’t confirm if it is very clever or,just clever.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 11 July, 2021, 05:12:55 pm
My car will not lock with the keys inside. It’s keyless ignition and a keyless entry with a button on the doorhandle to lock and unlock the doors. When the keys are inside it won’t respond to the buttons being pressed. I haven’t tried operating the locking while the boot is open and then leaving the keys in the boot so can’t confirm if it is very clever or,just clever.

Does the behaviour differ when the keys are inside vs outside but nearby? Where's the line?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 11 July, 2021, 05:22:55 pm
If it's like my parents' car, you have to deliberately press the button on the key if you want to lock it while in proximity of the car. So it's not possible to lock the key inside unless you are inside with it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 11 July, 2021, 05:52:58 pm
The locking mech works by pressing the button on the door handle to either lock or unlock the car when the keys are near. If they are in my pocket, I sometimes have to move that pocket closer to the car or giggle the contents of that pocket. When the keys are inside the car the locking mech does not respond to the button pressing. So the line appears,to be the car body.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 July, 2021, 06:29:07 pm
ISTR the louts from Top Gear managed to drive The Hamster's (USAnian) car at least 1/4 of a mile down Winnemucca High Street before it worked out that the keys were in Hammond's pocket in a diner rather than in the car.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 11 July, 2021, 06:34:07 pm
ISTR the louts from Top Gear managed to drive The Hamster's (USAnian) car at least 1/4 of a mile down Winnemucca High Street before it worked out that the keys were in Hammond's pocket in a diner rather than in the car.
Keyless cars won't stop if the key is missing, so once they had started it, they were gone.

The cars won't check if the keys are present very often, as that uses the battery in the key, so to getting 1/4 mile before the dashboard warns you shouldn't be difficult.

(My boring explanation of how the keys work, as opposed to how the Daily Wail says they work, is over there somewhere ->)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 11 July, 2021, 06:38:10 pm
Some of the car club cars I use have this system knobbled in such a way that the key's transponder is (presumably) permanently secreted somewhere to satisfy the car's systems, with the car club computer spoofing the necessary commands to lock/unlock the doors and enable the ignition for 10 minutes after an 'unlock'.

You can confuse it by letting the car club login timeout with the doors unlocked, re-authenticating and starting the car.  Which will then piss and moan about the key being AWOL until you turn it off and on again, but not actually stop.

I recall Postman Piers's kevved-up Nova had a cunning anti-carjacking mode whereby if you started the engine without tapping out the correct binary code on some non-obvious buttons, it would run for about 45 seconds and then cut out.  The idea being that you'd stop (or stall) the engine and calmly leave the vehicle, and leisurely follow it on foot to wherever the thief had got out and run away in frustration.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 11 July, 2021, 08:38:28 pm
I had a similar thing on my car at Uni, Dad wired the fuel pump wire via a fog lamp button (car had no front fog lamps) and you had to make sure your fog lamps were ‘on’ or the car spluttered to a halt after 30 seconds.

The night some joyriders nicked it it got 200 metres down the road before they had to dump it as it stopped running. As their parting shot they kicked the bonnet so that had to be repaired.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 12 July, 2021, 11:26:55 am
Today, on arrival at work, I couldn't gain entry to the office I was supposed to be using. I went to the main hub and complained to the boss that I had had access, but could now not get in. I twiddled my thumbs for an hour, then got taken to the office by a colleague only to find my card worked. It then dawned on me that there is a very similar office about 50 yards further down the road (to which I don't have access) and that I'd been trying to get in there!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 July, 2021, 08:34:36 am
When we got back from shopping yesterday I went from car to house to car several times, carrying a 9-litre pack of bottled water in each hand.  Our cellar is above-ground so there's a full flight of steps up to the front door. It was pissing down so I did it at a run.

Guess how I buggered an ACL back in March. Now guess what bloody idiot had completely forgotten that and did it again.

Weather's dry this morning. Can't ride.  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 July, 2021, 10:51:27 am
It's raining now. ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 July, 2021, 10:59:56 am
Now guess what bloody idiot had completely forgotten that and did it again.

Ouch! GWS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 14 July, 2021, 12:09:12 pm
Today, on arrival at work, I couldn't gain entry to the office I was supposed to be using. I went to the main hub and complained to the boss that I had had access, but could now not get in. I twiddled my thumbs for an hour, then got taken to the office by a colleague only to find my card worked. It then dawned on me that there is a very similar office about 50 yards further down the road (to which I don't have access) and that I'd been trying to get in there!

You'd better remember that I've moved house when you come here this evening  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Socks on 14 July, 2021, 12:47:20 pm
It's a good idea to use a small box to keep all the parts together when dismantling a headset to change the forks.  On the other hand ...

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 July, 2021, 01:06:20 pm
This could so easily be filed under grumble, rant or even first world problem, but the outcome is largely self inflicted, so here it is.
I’ve just been to collect an order from Screwfix in on returning home I realised that the largest of the items, and coincidentally the most expensive item, is not included in the bag of goodies. Had I realised this when the nice operative behind the counter handed me said pile of goodies I would have saved myself a return journey, and more importantly, the ire* of Dr Beardy (Mrs) who is convinced I do this sort of thing on purpose to avoid getting on with the job!

Given that I’m still in the doghouse for a bit of a contretemps yesterday evening, this is not an insignificant issue.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 July, 2021, 01:32:28 pm
Now guess what bloody idiot had completely forgotten that and did it again.

Ouch! GWS.

Ta. I don't think it'll last too long.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 14 July, 2021, 09:24:00 pm

It would appear some mornings I am very much like a Roomba[1]

Monday I managed to stub my toe on a piece of wood some idiot (i.e. me), left in the doorway.

(click to show/hide)

It's got even more purple since then. Tho I don't think it's broken.

J

[1]crashing into things and making weird noises.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 14 July, 2021, 10:48:50 pm
Ouch. I've done that a few times, most recently on a bed that had hidden itself on the floor.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 July, 2021, 11:22:50 pm
It would appear some mornings I am very much like a Roomba[1]

[1]crashing into things and making weird noises.

You are me AICMFP

My toes are in a constant state of tenderness from bashing into stuff, so you have my heartfelt sympathy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 July, 2021, 10:43:08 am
Slippers, people. Slippers. Ok, the do make you look a bit like an old person if you’re not careful in their selection, but they save you form innumerable bashed toes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 15 July, 2021, 12:10:43 pm
In my early career I worked for a Dutch marine services company, doing sea bed surveys etc.  The Dutch would never go into the interior of their workboats in their deck boots, so there were lines of things like these at the door to go inside.  Some were even wooden! Woe betide you if you failed to comply.

So, I've worn these around the house for years.  Don't look like slippers but do the same job.  And you don't bash your toes.  I was wearing them years before they appeared in the UK.

https://josefseibel.co.uk/products/copy-of-josef-seibel-max
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 July, 2021, 12:13:55 pm
'ow much, G-g-g-g-g-ranville :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 15 July, 2021, 12:25:17 pm
Yebbutt I get 2 or 3 years out of a pair, then the old pair become garage or garden attire, until the next new pair arrives.  Then one in , one out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 15 July, 2021, 05:39:24 pm
Manic day planned, so laptop plugged in in kitchen, kettle on for coffee, rush to garage to grab bits off shelf I'd need.

Three emails later, and "what's that smell?"



I had plugged in the waffle maker, under the pile of children's paintings, and not the laptop.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 16 July, 2021, 12:36:05 am
I recently bought an Apeman camera, which is a downmarket Go-pro. It takes a 64Gb micro-SD but it has an annoying slot for the SD card, which is spring-loaded and needs to be pushed home with the edge of a thumbnail. I thought to myself "This is a really annoying design because if your nail slips off when the spring is under tension, it could become an expensive pingfucket..."

Tomorrow morning I have to search through boxes full of archaeology to look for it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 17 July, 2021, 02:20:07 pm
Doing the washing up & drying some knives.   Carefully drying the big chefs knife & put it back in it's cardboard & duct tape sheath.  Could do myself an injury with that.   


Then I dried the bread knife ......   Fuckit!  Very sharp ,  didn't feel a thing.  Just through the top layer of skin & no bleeding.....


https://www.souschef.co.uk/products/opinel-beech-handle-bread-knife
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 17 July, 2021, 05:16:31 pm
Looking through recordings on the digibox I noticed it had recorded the British GP first practice. I never watch that, so deleted it. Along with all the previous GP race highlights.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 July, 2021, 08:35:27 am
Got a new bottle with a so-called "Easy Bite" soft-plastic nozzle on it.  With my other bottles the teat is hardish plastic, which means that you don't have to bite hard on it to open it, you more or less hook it with your teeth. First drink with the new bottle: the teat pulled up OK then popped out of my mouth, I was already squeezing so I blasted water all over my face.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 July, 2021, 01:15:48 pm
“Mustn't forget to drop off the repeat prescription at the pharmacy lurking within Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles!” said Mr Larrington as he strolled merrily through said horriblemarket.  “The prescription that is in my wallet, which in turn is in my pock… on the kitchen table!”

Poobums!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 19 July, 2021, 05:22:52 pm
When your colleague opens an already-scheduled email to make just one waffer-thin amendment, do make sure you pause the sending and check the whole thing carefully again before it goes out to the database of 15,000 subscribers.

You know, so that... ooh, let's say, to pick a random example off the top of my head, to check that the stupid, glitchy email building app you use hasn't decided of its own accord to revert to an old version of the email that contains incorrect links.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 19 July, 2021, 05:23:53 pm
will do.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 July, 2021, 12:34:58 pm
Trying to close the patio door to my office earlier because it was a power-tool o'clock* somewhere nearby and I was on a call. Bloody thing would not shut. Finally looked down and saw a cat in the gap. Sorry, Bad Cat.

Fortunately, it's stiff and I was pulling it at an odd angle, so she's not crushed, just mildly perturbed by why the door attempted to eat her.

*honestly, the world is so fucking noisy. Someone is always fucking about with something, or there are barky dogs, and now a periodic alarm that goes off for a minute then stops for two. Just an afternoon of silence, is it too much to ask? Yes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 July, 2021, 12:36:36 pm
honestly, the world is so fucking noisy. Someone is always fucking about with something, or there are barky dogs, and now a periodic alarm that goes off for a minute then stops for two. Just an afternoon of silence, is it too much to ask? Yes.

*Laughs in Silly Oak*

<fx: Something hydraulic and diesely out of view to the left.  Car alarms.  Woofing.>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 July, 2021, 12:41:41 pm
honestly, the world is so fucking noisy. Someone is always fucking about with something, or there are barky dogs, and now a periodic alarm that goes off for a minute then stops for two. Just an afternoon of silence, is it too much to ask? Yes.

*Laughs in Silly Oak*

<fx: Something hydraulic and diesely out of view to the left.  Car alarms.  Woofing.>

*laughs in next to a railway line and under a flight path*

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 July, 2021, 12:44:45 pm
honestly, the world is so fucking noisy. Someone is always fucking about with something, or there are barky dogs, and now a periodic alarm that goes off for a minute then stops for two. Just an afternoon of silence, is it too much to ask? Yes.

*Laughs in Silly Oak*

<fx: Something hydraulic and diesely out of view to the left.  Car alarms.  Woofing.>

*laughs in next to a railway line and under a flight path*

J

On a quiet summer morning, in the couple of hours between the drunks falling asleep and the builders starting up, if the electricity supply is stable, nobody needs an ambulance and there isn't currently a seagull fight in progress, and you listen carefully, you can sometimes hear the trains.

(I grew up near a tube line, I don't hear trains unless I'm listening for them or notice the sparking.)


It's the woofing and drunken bellowing that annoy me most.  Power tools and sirens and so on are at least doing something constructive.  Wandering around yelling at your piss-head mates or singing racist/sexist sportsball songs, or being an incompetent dog owner are just antisocial.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 July, 2021, 12:49:13 pm
I have a lovely balcony and secluded garden, but I've mostly given up trying to work out there. Even if the sounds of constant renovation stop for a minute, there's always something else, or a beep-beep-beep of reversing lorries on the street above.

This is admittedly one of my big drivers for getting out of suburbia.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 July, 2021, 01:46:38 pm
I visited York just over a week ago.

The stench of traffic fumes was incredible, as was the noise.

Didn't notice it when I lived there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 July, 2021, 01:50:51 pm
I visited York just over a week ago.

The stench of traffic fumes was incredible, as was the noise.

Didn't notice it when I lived there.

Living in Middle Earth, this is something that hits me every time I get a train home from somewhere nice and oxygenated like Wales or north Yorkshire, and get off at Mordor Central.

It's not so noticeable if you come from That London...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 July, 2021, 01:58:21 pm
I have a lovely balcony and secluded garden, but I've mostly given up trying to work out there. Even if the sounds of constant renovation stop for a minute, there's always something else, or a beep-beep-beep of reversing lorries on the street above.

This is admittedly one of my big drivers for getting out of suburbia.

We live far from suburbia. But we’re under a flight path to Luton for half the day (unless the wind is strong from the East, then it’s all day). And about half a mile from a dual carriageway that was ok until the cheapskates chip-and-sealed it. Plus kids from 5 doors down, barking dogs, garden machinery.

You’ll need your own estate of several acres, and hope no bastard puts a useless rail link (HS2, that’s you) through it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 July, 2021, 02:41:38 pm
We live in a farming village on the edge of a nature reserve, with hills and managed forest stretching around 50 km to the west of us and hundreds of km north into Germany. Noise pollution varies from zero to fierce depending on how many tractors are on the road, anything from zero to one every 5 minutes. Air pollution to match.  Every second neighbour keeps chickens, others have 4-footed livestock so the fly population is impressive.  There's also a fair bit of fruit-growing in the area, so we have fruit-flies too in season (i.e. now).  Then there's the usual population of kids with 50cc motorbikes adjusted for max dB.

Great area for cycling, though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 July, 2021, 04:15:23 pm
I have a lovely balcony and secluded garden, but I've mostly given up trying to work out there. Even if the sounds of constant renovation stop for a minute, there's always something else, or a beep-beep-beep of reversing lorries on the street above.

This is admittedly one of my big drivers for getting out of suburbia.

We live far from suburbia. But we’re under a flight path to Luton for half the day (unless the wind is strong from the East, then it’s all day). And about half a mile from a dual carriageway that was ok until the cheapskates chip-and-sealed it. Plus kids from 5 doors down, barking dogs, garden machinery.

You’ll need your own estate of several acres, and hope no bastard puts a useless rail link (HS2, that’s you) through it.

Our first place in London was a flat in West Ealing backing onto the main west coast rail line. You learned to hold your conversation every few minutes as an intercity roared past the bottom of the garden, about 25 metres from our living room. The main benefit was that you couldn't hear the Heathrow flight path directly overhead. You also couldn't really close the window because it turned out the place was damper than a swamp. We beat a fast retreat to the relatively tranquil confines of Shepherd's Bush (and third floor, where the damp really would have needed to be aspirational to climb that high).

Our last house had a branch line (between Crystal Palace and Birkbeck) at the bottom of the garden but the trains only trundled by at London speeds. That was oddly soothing. Till they did the track maintenance, that giant track bed whomping machine scares the hell out of you the first time it starts up outside your bedroom window at 3 am. I think they're supposed to let you know when they're going to do overnight maintenance. They never, ever do, preferring the element of nocturnal terror. Sometimes you'd hear the steady approach, as it tamped it's what from Crystal Palace, like some lead-footed brontosaurus on a mission to keep you awake till dawn.

There's a train line through the valley here, though mostly quiet, it's just the endless sound of suburban home improvements which never ever seems to stop (I know I'm being hypocritical, we had The Asbestos Palace refurbished when we moved here).

Still, visiting friends recently, who have places out in the country, and oh the blessed silence in their gardens. Here when the daytime symphony of refurbishment finishes, it's the mad cackle of the barky dog lady (she walks the dogs about 875 times a day and all they do is bark* and endless deliveries (beep beep beep as they try to get down the narrow lane).

*on the plus side, she always walks a cat that thinks it's a dog.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 July, 2021, 05:13:28 pm
Having your own personal volume control can sometimes be a boon. It’s a shame that most of us with such a convenience usually have to suffer our own internal sound track (tinnitus).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 20 July, 2021, 05:25:14 pm
I was cycling to the beach before 8am today when an enormous road of engines approached from behind, at obvioulsy ridiculously high speed for a normally quiet residential road. I took evasive action and as I did so a Fucking Great Lamborghini, reg no CD51MAG, went hurtling past at far more than 30mph. I checked when I got back and it was   taxed and insured, but it also had a 5 litre engine and was pumping out 450g of CO2 every kilometre.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 July, 2021, 05:34:41 pm
We also get lorries grinding through all their gears trying to get up the very steep hill. Then beep beep beep beep beep as they try and do an 18 point turn to get around the corner and then reverse all the way along the lane so they can get out again. And the occasional crump as they non-surgically remove someone's wing mirror.

Then there's the thumpy thumpy bass boy chav chariot, though he mostly seems quiescent, presumably a bigger boy told him to turn it down.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 21 July, 2021, 09:43:53 am
Got up in the night to close the bedroom window. The sash counterweight snagged so it won't stay up.

My response to this was to lift the window all the way so I have plenty of slack, then jiggle the rope with my finger until the counterweight freed itself.

Can you guess what happened next? 🔥
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 21 July, 2021, 12:27:17 pm
Is it appropriate to ask how your finger is?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Guy on 21 July, 2021, 12:31:19 pm
Things I Have Learned Today don't usually get posted in the Fettled Today thread. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 22 July, 2021, 02:16:03 pm
I turned up at the GP practice early this morning for a blood test appointment, which is early tomorrow morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 22 July, 2021, 03:38:36 pm
I turned up at the GP practice early this morning for a blood test appointment, which is early tomorrow morning.

Knowing what day/date it is has become more difficult through the lockdowns, and being retired - I only know the day of the week that it is by the days marked on the blister packs of the pills I take  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 July, 2021, 04:13:48 pm
I turned up at the GP practice early this morning for a blood test appointment, which is early tomorrow morning.

Knowing what day/date it is has become more difficult through the lockdowns, and being retired - I only know the day of the week that it is by the days marked on the blister packs of the pills I take  ;D

The first four days of this week were all Sundays.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 22 July, 2021, 05:12:58 pm
I can say with some certainty most mornings that it’s a day of the week.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 22 July, 2021, 05:18:27 pm
It's almost always a day that ends in a 'y' at any rate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 22 July, 2021, 05:37:44 pm
Testing my wife's (seemingly faulty) kiln.

Check connections for open circuit. Huh. Everything seems fine.

Turn power on. Check AC across element terminals. BANG!

Oh pooh, I think I've blown something. All breakers have tripped.

I go away, think. Google.

Bloody idiot. I had the multimeter probes plugged into the wrong sockets. Amazingly, the meter still works.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 July, 2021, 05:54:14 pm
Bloody idiot. I had the multimeter probes plugged into the wrong sockets. Amazingly, the meter still works.

I'm liking my multimeter that complains if the probes are in the wrong sockets for what it's measuring.  Saves a lot of fuses.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 22 July, 2021, 06:05:24 pm
Bloody idiot. I had the multimeter probes plugged into the wrong sockets. Amazingly, the meter still works.

I'm liking my multimeter that complains if the probes are in the wrong sockets for what it's measuring.  Saves a lot of fuses.
Well yes.

Weirdly, the kiln now seems to be working on all elements.

I'm assuming that the short jolted a switch free in the controller.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 22 July, 2021, 08:53:16 pm
Bloody idiot. I had the multimeter probes plugged into the wrong sockets. Amazingly, the meter still works.

I'm liking my multimeter that complains if the probes are in the wrong sockets for what it's measuring.  Saves a lot of fuses.

I'm liking the multimeter that I found in the cupboard the other week. Quality piece of kit it is. I reckon the electrician left it behind when we had some work done six years ago. I'd call him, except I can't remember who he was and he's probably replaced it by now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 22 July, 2021, 09:31:39 pm
Divvered again today. I needed a hex key with a very short short arm, to adjust a pedal which had a reflector in the way of the adjuster. The reflector nuts are very fiddly so I didn't want to remove them. I found a spare key, free from something, and "Dremel Cuts!" said Alexei in the adverts so I sets up bench vice, glasses and small cutting disc. As the sparks commence I think "hm, better shift my foot,don't want the end of this dropping on it" :) and carry on cutting.
As the key end drops and I urgently shake my foot to get the hot little beggar out of my sandal I also think "hm, perhaps I should have actually followed up on that forethought and shifted said foot".
Anyway, the key works.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 23 July, 2021, 08:23:02 am
Divvered again today. I needed a hex key with a very short short arm, to adjust a pedal which had a reflector in the way of the adjuster. The reflector nuts are very fiddly so I didn't want to remove them. I found a spare key, free from something, and "Dremel Cuts!" said Alexei in the adverts so I sets up bench vice, glasses and small cutting disc. As the sparks commence I think "hm, better shift my foot,don't want the end of this dropping on it" :) and carry on cutting.
As the key end drops and I urgently shake my foot to get the hot little beggar out of my sandal I also think "hm, perhaps I should have actually followed up on that forethought and shifted said foot".
Anyway, the key works.

Ah, sounds as if you were wearing what they call in New Zealand "Samoan Safety Boots"  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 23 July, 2021, 09:26:51 am
Is it appropriate to ask how your finger is?

It has a much less impressive burn than the one I put on my leg later on while jigsawing in shorts.

I did wait for the blade to stop moving before putting it down on my lap.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 23 July, 2021, 12:23:16 pm
Divvered again today. I needed a hex key with a very short short arm, to adjust a pedal which had a reflector in the way of the adjuster. The reflector nuts are very fiddly so I didn't want to remove them. I found a spare key, free from something, and "Dremel Cuts!" said Alexei in the adverts so I sets up bench vice, glasses and small cutting disc. As the sparks commence I think "hm, better shift my foot,don't want the end of this dropping on it" :) and carry on cutting.
As the key end drops and I urgently shake my foot to get the hot little beggar out of my sandal I also think "hm, perhaps I should have actually followed up on that forethought and shifted said foot".
Anyway, the key works.

Ah, sounds as if you were wearing what they call in New Zealand "Samoan Safety Boots"  ;D

Duly stolen - sorry, remembered - for future usage.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 July, 2021, 04:08:15 pm
YA NI Lobachevsky AICMFP :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 23 July, 2021, 04:43:28 pm
Only be sure always to call it please, "research"!

P.S. - have you got a copy of the Vladivostok telephone directory I can borrow?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 23 July, 2021, 08:13:51 pm
Being ian's ideal next door neighbour, and the weather, and how much everything has grown, I've spent many days recently with the hedge trimmer and garden shredder and multiple other such tools.

It was then time to break out the big guns and vacuum the remaining mess from the garden.

It's amazing how much you can do if you forget to zip the collection bag up.........
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 July, 2021, 10:17:08 pm
Only be sure always to call it please, "research"!

P.S. - have you got a copy of the Vladivostok telephone directory I can borrow?

Philip Pullman has claimed he got the last name of witch-queen Serafina Pekkala from the Helsinki phone book, but the possibility exists that he was fibbing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 July, 2021, 11:35:50 pm
You can pretty much make up any Finnish sounding name with enough kakakaka surely?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 July, 2021, 12:36:50 am
Confusingly, and aside from the Swedish minority, there appear to be a fair number of Finns with German-sounding names.  General Mannerheim, for eg, and Miss von Brandenburg's m-i-l.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 24 July, 2021, 12:40:50 am
You can pretty much make up any Finnish sounding name with enough kakakaka surely?

You can start saying kakakakakkakakakakakaka but when do you finnish?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 July, 2021, 11:01:50 pm

I have discovered the lift to my flat has a max length for any single item taken in the lift, of 2.26m.

In other news, yesterday I bought a 2440mm x 1220mm sheet of 9mm plywood, and had it cut along it's length into three pieces.

At some point this week I will have to carry these up the 7 floors to my flat. For now they can stay in the basement...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 July, 2021, 11:03:47 pm
I have discovered the lift to my flat has a max length for any single item taken in the lift, of 2.26m.

Paging nikki.  Nikki to the tragically under-specified goods lift emergency phone please...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 July, 2021, 11:08:18 pm
I have discovered the lift to my flat has a max length for any single item taken in the lift, of 2.26m.

Paging nikki.  Nikki to the tragically under-specified goods lift emergency phone please...

I question the sanity of the designer of this building. To get to the lift you have to climb seven steps. The lift is under 1m² in area, I can get my bike in it, but I have to tilt it up on the rear wheel, and rotate it and kinda wedge it crossways.

The worst situation tho was when the 42U 19" rack was brought in, we measured the lift door at the entry level. It fit, no problem. We had maybe 5mm of vertical space.

On the top floor when we go to take it out. The lift is out of alignment slightly with the doorway, so it won't come out. We went down one floor to where it lined up better, then carried it up the stairs the final bit.

We used to have furniture hooks on the front of the building so we could use a rope and pulley, but they were removed...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 24 July, 2021, 11:09:32 pm
How much is a "seven storey length of rope"*, and does your window open?



As I use feet and inches, and you use metric, I'm going to stick with measuring the rope by floors.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 July, 2021, 11:23:58 pm
How much is a "seven storey length of rope"*, and does your window open?



As I use feet and inches, and you use metric, I'm going to stick with measuring the rope by floors.

It's something like 25m or so. Which in imperial I think is 1 swimming pool.

But without the furniture hook, and a second person, it would be a lot of faff. As the largest of the pieces of ply is now 2440x50x9mm, I'm just going to wait until the DOMS from last week's squat session has subsided, and have to walk up 21 floors...

Fortunately I can take the lift back down.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 24 July, 2021, 11:46:07 pm
I'm only 4 floors up , but there is no lift.    I need a new book case.    Order a "Billy from Ikea, who'll charge me more for delivery than for the bookcase, or order from John Lewis, who'll charge a lot more but will send sturdy chaps to carry it up the stairs ?   


Probably the "Billy", as I can unpack it in the lobby & then carry it up in bits.  I'd feel obliged to tip the JL chaps as well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 July, 2021, 11:48:34 pm
I'm only 4 floors up , but there is no lift.    I need a new book case.    Order a "Billy from Ikea, who'll charge me more for delivery than for the bookcase, or order from John Lewis, who'll charge a lot more but will send sturdy chaps to carry it up the stairs ?   


Probably the "Billy", as I can unpack it in the lobby & then carry it up in bits.  I'd feel obliged to tip the JL chaps as well.

Rules here are that delivery to your home, is to your home, including upto 4 floors of stairs. Higher is if there is a lift.

When I ordered my mattress from Ikea, the delivery people said it didn't fit in the lift (no surprise), but refused to carry it beyond the 4th floor. So after 3 of them carried it up 4 floors, I carried it the rest of the way on my own, much to the amazement of the 3 large burly Dutchmen who had just carried it up that far.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 24 July, 2021, 11:54:37 pm
Friends help you move bodies.  Real friends help you carry a double oven up 8 flights of stairs , when you forgot to check the delivery T&Cs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 July, 2021, 12:22:33 am
Ah, yes, lifts, stairs and the time my then-employers decided that because most of our jobs were going on a one-way vacation to Indiah, where the Tigers come from, we would cut the numbers of AlphaServers in our employ from five to one and relocate the remaining machine from a third-party site in Slough to our office next door to Southwark Cathedral.  Someone measured the height of the rack the machine was housed in while cow-orker Mr Kelly measured the heights of the goods lift and the door through which the said rack would have to pass in order to access said lift.  “You'll have to tilt in a bit to get it through the door” quoth he, “but it'll be fine for the lift”.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man with the lorry and the Babbage-Engine.  Shortly thereafter cometh the curses on Mr Kelly, when we discovered that the rack could not physically be tilted far enough to get it through the door due to the presence of a set of sturdy wrought-iron railings about a metre from the door.  We had to put the bloody thing back on the wagon and return it to Slough until they could come back with a stairwalker so we could take it through the front door and up the stairs to the third floor while fending off the literal curses of the actual practicing Scandiwegian witch employed as a receptionist by the owners of the building.

Eventually we got it into its new home, plugged everything in and switched it on.  Much to our surprise it came up without a hitch rather than throwing a hissy fit and bursting into flames. “So who’s going to be the new system manager?” I asked The Boss.  Turned out that as the only former BOFH on the payroll, that'd be me but at least it kept me employed for another three years rather than the three months I had been told to expect.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 25 July, 2021, 09:49:41 am
Ah, yes, lifts, stairs and the time my then-employers decided that because most of our jobs were going on a one-way vacation to Indiah, where the Tigers come from, we would cut the numbers of AlphaServers in our employ from five to one and relocate the remaining machine from a third-party site in Slough to our office next door to Southwark Cathedral.  Someone measured the height of the rack the machine was housed in while cow-orker Mr Kelly measured the heights of the goods lift and the door through which the said rack would have to pass in order to access said lift.  “You'll have to tilt in a bit to get it through the door” quoth he, “but it'll be fine for the lift”.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man with the lorry and the Babbage-Engine.  Shortly thereafter cometh the curses on Mr Kelly, when we discovered that the rack could not physically be tilted far enough to get it through the door due to the presence of a set of sturdy wrought-iron railings about a metre from the door.  We had to put the bloody thing back on the wagon and return it to Slough until they could come back with a stairwalker so we could take it through the front door and up the stairs to the third floor while fending off the literal curses of the actual practicing Scandiwegian witch employed as a receptionist by the owners of the building.

Eventually we got it into its new home, plugged everything in and switched it on.  Much to our surprise it came up without a hitch rather than throwing a hissy fit and bursting into flames. “So who’s going to be the new system manager?” I asked The Boss.  Turned out that as the only former BOFH on the payroll, that'd be me but at least it kept me employed for another three years rather than the three months I had been told to expect.

We are in the process of getting a new rack at work. We're going to be hiring a trailer mounted lift to take it up 4 floors to bring it in through a window. Getting it into the server room requires tilting it up. But the problem there is the ceiling height vs the rack. So it has to go in the door, rotate 90° along it's long axis, then tilt up, as it saves us 200mm, There is a rack in there, which is the same height, but it's 200mm shallower in depth. Gonna be a fun challenge.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 25 July, 2021, 10:17:43 am
You see, in the olden days ™ the location and installation of computers was considered as part of the equation. These days, many organisations system installations are only one step up on the infamous ‘server under the developers desk’ scenario. It’ll all end in tears I tell you.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 July, 2021, 11:16:23 am
Back in the late 1980s my then-employers moved their data centre two doors up the road. Planning had been underway for a year before I joined them; the move — done in stages over a Several of weekends — kicked off about six months later.  When it was all over the Ops Manager reckoned he was owed about eight months TOIL.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 25 July, 2021, 12:21:57 pm
We built a band new data centre in a different location to the original basically so we could sell the old one which occupied what had become prime real estate in the south of Englandshire. IBM refused to countenance the electronic transfer of the petabytes of data on account of it would take too long and insisted on a physical transfer of the data up the M1. That took months of planning and the temporary installation of truck loads of disk packs and a several of weekends to sync up the databases before a very nervous weekend of following the trucks of data up the M1 and more time of database syncing and delta uploads over the network.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: neilrj on 26 July, 2021, 12:53:05 am

I have discovered the lift to my flat has a max length for any single item taken in the lift, of 2.26m.

In other news, yesterday I bought a 2440mm x 1220mm sheet of 9mm plywood, and had it cut along it's length into three pieces.

At some point this week I will have to carry these up the 7 floors to my flat. For now they can stay in the basement...

J

I used to deliver kitchens and hence worktops in a former life and most residential lifts all seemed to have a 'cleaners cupboard' in the back wall that allowed a longer item to be tilted diagonally. Most lifts could easily have been be 30-50% deeper as the shaft/cage was obviously big enough but the open floor area was a kept smaller, presumably as a cheaper installation (cables/motor?) so the floor area/occupants capacity was downrated, but the cupboard accessed the full cage footprint, so a quick chat with caretaker/concierge/cleaner opened the back door and that saved our backs a few times, a 3600 x 900 x 38mm breakfast bar/peninsular worktop was damn heavy and 'kin awkward, and whilst deeply unpleasant to support whilst using the lift would be all but impossible on stairs for more than a flight.
Big ready assembled tall units had to be ordered unglued so they could travel disassembled, but fortunately 'flat pack' was our big market. I'm so glad a Granite worktop wasn't a thing back then (1980's) well not where I worked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 26 July, 2021, 07:42:07 am
The lifts in a block we lived in in the 70s had a low door set into the back that could be opened on demand by the caretaker, so that undertakers wouldn't be obliged to stand the coffins on end.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 26 July, 2021, 08:16:23 am
Our church in Colchester has an especially large lift - so a coffin can fit in without problems.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 26 July, 2021, 08:07:55 pm
I remember many years ago we had a datacentre migration. We reassured all our customers that it was a professionally managed migration and minimal downtime.

It was me, the CTO, two developers, a case of beer and a Ford pickup. We got lost on the DC beltway and nothing had the right plugs and there weren't nearly enough beers to make my weekend efforts worthwhile.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 July, 2021, 10:23:10 am
Put the battery out of the A4 on the recharger this morning. A couple of hours later nothing seemed to be happening. Put the multimeter across the charger output: zilch.  Then remembered why there's a dud fuse sitting in the bits dish on my bench.

Fortunately, I have two chargers, and t'other one works.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 July, 2021, 07:17:12 pm
Narrowly avoided doing a Hanananannanh[1] (who once famously found herself in A&E trying to convince them she was merely bad at DIY and therefore didn't need to see the duty psych about her slit wrist) by fighting with a Schwalbe Pro One with the wheel brake rotor side up.  Fortunately the surprisingly painful wrist injury is merely a graze, and I was able to glue the thumb back together.


[1] The astrononononomer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 July, 2021, 09:03:58 am
Narrowly avoided doing a Hanananannanh[1] (who once famously found herself in A&E trying to convince them she was merely bad at DIY and therefore didn't need to see the duty psych about her slit wrist) by fighting with a Schwalbe Pro One with the wheel brake rotor side up.  Fortunately the surprisingly painful wrist injury is merely a graze, and I was able to glue the thumb back together.


[1] The astrononononomer.

I did that stripping a wire with a Stanley knife back in 1991.  No psych suggestions and I got to see the inside of my wrist when the surgeon was knotting stuff together again, just like that bit in Terminator but not quite so elaborate. Still got the knife on my desk.

Anyway, my further claim to divvery this morning is that when I took the A4 battery off the charger yesterday I thoughtlessly let the crocodile clips touch each other before unplugging from the mains, so now I have two chargers with blown fuses.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 30 July, 2021, 10:28:00 pm
Today I very carefully bought two right hand window handles.  When I got home I discovered I need the left hand versions. Idiot
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 30 July, 2021, 10:29:02 pm
Good effort  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 July, 2021, 11:12:35 pm
I once bought some ambihandrous ones and found the shaft didn't fit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 01 August, 2021, 05:11:27 pm
The left mouse button was starting to double click without me wanting it to. I had a spare microswitch, so I opened the mouse up and changed......

the right mouse button switch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 August, 2021, 08:37:33 pm
The mediocre performance of the TSR's front suspension may have had something to do with me putting a washer in the wrong place when I rebuilt it with the "race" spring.  I wondered why one bolt seemed a bit short  :facepalm:

I can adjust the damping visually now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 02 August, 2021, 12:09:30 pm
Spent all day carefully avoiding crashing and cramp during the silly bike races, then bashed my knee hard on the rent-a-car's pointy dashboard when I climbed in to drive home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 04 August, 2021, 01:06:24 pm
I've been expectantly going downstairs each day to check the post for a particular item I need to finish a thing, being disappointed and trudging back upstairs while quietly cursing everyone.

Today I decided to check whether I'd actually ordered the thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 August, 2021, 12:57:50 am
I have a nice super-flexible GREEN Ethernet cable, which kicks around aimlessly on the floor for easy access when I want to plug something in for testing.  In spite of having boots on the connectors, a couple of days ago, while in the middle of something important, I somehow managed to snap the retaining tab on one of the RJ45 plugs.  So far so normal.

Because it's super-flexible, and moreover GREEN, I decided not to simply chuck it back in the box of assorted netjbexing stuffs and untangle a working one, but to dig out the case of elec-chicken tools and fit a new connector.  A couple of recitations of the T568B mantra and a bit of swearing in colourblind[1] later, I plugged it into my Cheap Shitty Network Cable Tester From China, which reported lack of continuity on pins 4 and 5.   ???

So I chopped it off and fitted another.  Same problem.  "Ah!" I reasoned, "It must be a fault at the other end.", so I lopped that one off and fitted a new one.  Reader, it was not a fault at the other end.

Several RJ45 plugs later, I did what any reasonable person would do and stuck a warning note on the cable to the effect that the blue pair was mysteriously b0rked somewhere along the length (on the basis that Future Kim would have the sense to use it for Fast Ethernet, and not anything gigabit or telephonic or relying on the supply of voles), and chucked it back in the corner by way of making the problem go away.

Obviously this played on my mind until I came to rant at barakta earlier today.  Where, lacking something important to be in the middle of, I decided to sort the problem properly.  "Binary search!" I exclaimed in computer SCIENCE, and after a cursory inspection for obvious kinks or nicks, chopped the cable in two at the mid point.  Having by now become suspicious, I opted to strip and short the offending pair before fucking about with further crimping.  The tester showed continuity, so I proceeded.  To make yet another cable with no connection on pins 4&5.

At which point my brain started working, and I considered that perhaps it was my Cheap Shitty Network Cable Tester From China that was at fault.  "Mongrels!" I exclaimed in the time-honoured Dave Jones antipodean style, as I discovered that they'd used triangle-head screws.  Barakta pointed out that I had a set of silly screwdriver bits, which were duly used to open it up, at which point it was about a minute's work to replace the offending LEDs with ones that still contained magic smoke.  I can only assume that past-Kim had been a div and plugged it into something that supplied ringing voltage or PoE.

Anyway, I'm now the proud owner of two nice super-flexible (if somewhat short) GREEN Ethernet cables, and a Cheap Shitty Network Cable Tester From China with mismatched blinkenlights and midly chewed screw heads.  Hurrah!   :facepalm:


(For anyone wondering about the knee referenced in my previous post, it's mostly stopped hurting, but has developed a respectable bruise.)


[1] For some inexplicable reason this one went: White wire, orange wire, other white wire, blue wire, light blue wire, poo colour wire, grey wire, dark poo colour wire.  Because the usual colours-and-matching-stripe scheme where you merely have to get a really bright light to determine which is the green and which is the orange would be too obvious, or something.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 August, 2021, 01:17:45 am
For Antipodean Bad Swears this Unit commends TV's Nick Atkins off of “Outback Truckers”, who can make the phrase or saying “you dirty mongrel bastard” – usually directed at truck-stopping bits of Captain Cook's Mistake – last about thirty seconds :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 August, 2021, 08:37:21 am
MrsC needs cupboards in the barn (pottery-to-be).
We have some old crappy kitchen cupboards.

I say I'll put them on the walls.

Fittings for said cupboards have disappeared. No problem, I'll add some battening and screw through that.

Much swearing later (I had to hold cupboards up one handed while marking hole positions and they are bastard heavy like all chipboard furniture), cupboards are up.

MrsC comes out and points out that 2 of them are upside down. <cue laughter from audience>
She says that doesn't matter. Asks am I certain they are secure?

"Sure" sayeth I "Look" and hang my weight off a cupboard. Which promptly rips off the wall and falls on me. (Reader, I had already done this once and they were secure.)

Decide to buy some proper fittings, and more rawlplugs.

Much wrangling the next day - and part-way through fitting them - rawlplug (which isn't a 'real' rawlplug but some shitty knockoff, all I could get) pulls out of wall. Cupboard falls on me.

(I have now finished the job, using proper rawlplugs.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 06 August, 2021, 09:05:23 am
I have discovered that if you insert the blade of a chainsaw upside down (so the chain runs backwards) no cutting takes place. It just rubs the wood a bit.  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 06 August, 2021, 09:21:08 am
Plugging usb cable to phone, going why aren't you coming up with the option to transfer files, started to poke around in the settings, minutes later, oh this usb goes to the wall not to the PC ...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 August, 2021, 09:28:18 am
I’ve just replaced the drivers door handle on the boys Fiat 500, a straightforward if somewhat tight operation. I put the door panel on and tidied up my tools. As I,was putting the last of my tools in the boot of my own car I espied the strap of my headlamp. Oh. Guess where the business end of the headlamp was…  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 06 August, 2021, 02:32:06 pm
Removing the bumper from a newish car, a bumper mounting brackets on either side, under the lights, was held onto the body with M6 screws with 10 mm hexagon heads, which would have been easy to remove, had the bumper not got in the way. After quite a lot of time fiddling various parts of the 1/4" square drive set, the lower left one still didn't move. I went to the right, and manage to get both top and bottom screws off.

At which point the bracket fell away from the bumper. It wasn't part of the bumper as I had assumed.

It turns out that the bracket screws to the body, and the bumper clips between the bracket and the bumper. It also unclips in fractions of a second once other bumper fasteners have been removed.

The divery comes from trying to undo screws that could not possibly have been fastened in seconds with the bumper in place. Everything on a car has to be fastened in seconds on a production line. It is therefore impossible that the bracket was part of the bumper, and I should have realised that before finding that they were separate.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Zipperhead on 06 August, 2021, 04:05:57 pm
MrsC needs cupboards in the barn (pottery-to-be).
We have some old crappy kitchen cupboards.

I say I'll put them on the walls.

Fittings for said cupboards have disappeared. No problem, I'll add some battening and screw through that.

Much swearing later (I had to hold cupboards up one handed while marking hole positions and they are bastard heavy like all chipboard furniture), cupboards are up.

MrsC comes out and points out that 2 of them are upside down. <cue laughter from audience>
She says that doesn't matter. Asks am I certain they are secure?

"Sure" sayeth I "Look" and hang my weight off a cupboard. Which promptly rips off the wall and falls on me. (Reader, I had already done this once and they were secure.)

Decide to buy some proper fittings, and more rawlplugs.

Much wrangling the next day - and part-way through fitting them - rawlplug (which isn't a 'real' rawlplug but some shitty knockoff, all I could get) pulls out of wall. Cupboard falls on me.

(I have now finished the job, using proper rawlplugs.)

You are Reg Prescott (https://youtu.be/MU2BO5Obg2k) AICMFP
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 06 August, 2021, 07:04:57 pm
We're off on a mini - break to play bikes and as we were driving through Durham City I had that nagging feeling of having forgotten something.
Tried to read a poster and found out - I am away for the weekend with only my computer glasses. FFS. Good job Mr Smith does all the driving.
I have contacts for on the bike but they don't cure all my eyesight flaws either.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pumpkin on 07 August, 2021, 06:39:45 pm
Im giving this to my wife who went for a run this am before 9am and my daughter and I pass her running homweward. 30 mins later we are back home but my wife isnt. 4 hours later Im filing a missing persons report with the Police. My wife didnt take her key/phone, comes home door locked so goes for a bit of extra mileage. In this time we return home and go out again. In a comedic turn, wife returns home, sits for 2 hours in the garden, getting v.cold then decides to go to a friend's house. Friend calls me but dials the wrong number and wife isnt sure of mine:facepalm: It got sorted but the Police called round to check she was OK. Having a spare key in a wall box or located in the garden isn't necessary acc to my wife.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 08 August, 2021, 12:01:06 pm
Spare keys with the neighbour.  Is this not a thing anymore?

My non-div neighbour knocked recently requesting key due to similar "forgot to take mine and everybody's out".  I have also spent the last week feeding their cat putting food in the cat's bowl, no sign of the cat but the food seemed to be disappearing.


I've also had the enjoyment of returning home from a bike ride to find an angry father-in-law and my wife at my parent's house in panic having filed the missing person's report.  Much embarrassment of having to phone police to un-report myself, as well as phoning CTC contacts and everybody else who'd been questioned as to my missing status.    Mrs Nutty thought I'd gone on the CTC club run, whereas I'm sure I told her I was heading to my sister's.   I had a lovely long ride, until I got home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 08 August, 2021, 12:04:41 pm

My spare keys aren't with my neighbour, but there are a few sets with trusted friends. Slightly more awkward if I do need them tho.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 August, 2021, 07:55:25 am
I managed to put my shirt on back to front this morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 August, 2021, 10:13:50 am
We left spare keys with two friends, which seems a good idea, though with the intervention of time, one is now living on the other side of Oxford and the other somewhere near Rochester, Kent. One day this is going to prove very inconvenient.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 August, 2021, 10:28:18 am
Spare keys with the neighbour.  Is this not a thing anymore?

My non-div neighbour knocked recently requesting key due to similar "forgot to take mine and everybody's out".  I have also spent the last week feeding their cat putting food in the cat's bowl, no sign of the cat but the food seemed to be disappearing.


I've also had the enjoyment of returning home from a bike ride to find an angry father-in-law and my wife at my parent's house in panic having filed the missing person's report.  Much embarrassment of having to phone police to un-report myself, as well as phoning CTC contacts and everybody else who'd been questioned as to my missing status.    Mrs Nutty thought I'd gone on the CTC club run, whereas I'm sure I told her I was heading to my sister's.   I had a lovely long ride, until I got home.

MrsC and I went kayaking this weekend. I left her in the sheltered bay and said "I'm popping around that island", thinking it was about 5km and would take about 40min.

45min later, on the opposite of the island in biggish seas, I realised I'd somewhat underestimated how far I'd have to go. The size of the seas meant I needed to stay much further out, and the island was bigger than I thought. So I was gone nearly an hour.

MrsC casually informed me that she would have waited another hour before getting concerned anyway.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 09 August, 2021, 10:29:59 am
My spare keys used to reside in my desk drawer at work. In a building I had access to 24/7 (although getting locked out on Xmas day might have been a problem). Now I'm retired my nephew 40 miles away has a spare set and I've buried an emergency key at the bottom of one of the fence posts in the garden.

The only time I've managed to lock myself out was about 45 years ago and I was just dressed in a pair of boxers ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 09 August, 2021, 10:30:59 am
Having fallen foul of the 'keys with neighbours' (a 25 minute walk away in this case) thing, I have now fitted a key safe to the outside of my building.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 09 August, 2021, 10:35:17 am
I've considered a key safe in the past, but they aren't overly secure and in addition if I ever needed it I'd probably have forgotten the code.  I never liked the idea of a key under the doormat/flowerpot/etc but previous posts have got me considering a buried tin somewhere in the back garden; all I need to do is work out where, and more importantly how I'll remember where and nobody else will find it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 August, 2021, 10:44:58 am
Every time I read a thread like this, I'm reminded that I ought to hide a spare somewhere in the garden, but then I wander off and forget. The main worry is that I lock myself in the porch if the main door locks behind me and I don't have a key to get back in the house or out of the porch. Another task I keep forgetting is to get that lock replaced with something that doesn't lock itself.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 09 August, 2021, 10:51:45 am
I used to keep a set of keys in a tin in the shed in the back garden -but this involved climbing over a couple of fences and then opening the combination padlock which secured the shed by feel only as it was  pitch black in my back garden.
I then had an arrangement with PaulR (OTP, who used to live 100metres away) whereby my keys were buried in a sealed container his front garden. But then he moved to the provinces.
The key safe I use is one specced by councils and fitted to houses where carers require access. It has pushbuttons as opposed to tumbler wheels - (which are relatively easy to open by feel only).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 09 August, 2021, 10:59:36 am
Every time I read a thread like this, I'm reminded that I ought to hide a spare somewhere in the garden, but then I wander off and forget. The main worry is that I lock myself in the porch if the main door locks behind me and I don't have a key to get back in the house or out of the porch. Another task I keep forgetting is to get that lock replaced with something that doesn't lock itself.

When I was a div and left the house without keys I was lucky to have my wallet in my pocket which contained a nice thin flexible library card.  I was back in in seconds.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 09 August, 2021, 11:09:56 am
If I ever get as far as getting a key safe I'd stick it somewhere discrete a few streets away.

Taping a spare key behind the car bumper might also be an idea.

(in fact I used to keep one inside the towing-eye cover on the bumper, although it proved impossible to reopen without breaking the clips)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 09 August, 2021, 11:16:58 am
When I was the adult in charge I solved my general key-ineptitude by leaving the place unlocked.

Now I leave a man in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 09 August, 2021, 11:20:19 am
Our door can only be locked using a key.  However I did once return from the morning dog walk to find Mrs B had gone out and my keys were in the jacket that I wasn't wearing.
I later told her that a particular window was a security risk and should be locked at night.  If a 72 year old can get up to it and get in, a fit young scote would have no problem.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 09 August, 2021, 02:30:22 pm
Well, I had cause (for the second time in about 20 years) to resort to the cunningly concealed emergency front door key this morning. My car has "keyless" entry, so I don't need any button presses to get into it. I do, however, need to carry the keys about my person  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 August, 2021, 08:21:49 pm
I did lock myself out the front once and have to climb over the tall gate to the alley down the side of the house, which was impressive, or would have been were there anyone to see. And then they'd have probably called the police.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 09 August, 2021, 11:32:41 pm
It's been very rare over the years for me to be in the house on my own. On one occasion a few years ago when I was, I took the dog for his late-night walk, normally just a brief emptying session. But when I got home I realised I had no keys, and it was midnight, and Not Warm.

There was a spare key 1.5 miles away in Phyllis's house. Luckily, I had a couple of £1 coins about my person and phoned her. She was, of course, already in bed. The dog got a much longer walk than usual that night.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 10 August, 2021, 12:50:23 pm
I cycled home from work having left my keys in the door of my locker at work.  :facepalm: Rather than turn around and ride back I went to my sister and recovered the emergency key. I then phoned the office security guard and asked that he safely store my keys so that I could collect them in the morning.

I then got into the habit of locking my bike within the storage cage so that I had to have my keys to ride home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 10 August, 2021, 01:38:38 pm
The front door has an electronic lock that can either be opened with a fob or with a smartphone.  Just in case, we've left a spare fob with our neighbour and with Jon's parents (about a mile away).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 10 August, 2021, 01:56:37 pm
The front door has an electronic lock that can either be opened with a fob or with a smartphone.  Just in case, we've left a spare fob with our neighbour and with Jon's parents (about a mile away).

Such things can also invariably be opened with an Atari Portfolio, a teenager in Russia, a stray radio wave or a good shove.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 10 August, 2021, 02:51:39 pm
I cycled home from work having left my keys in the door of my locker at work.  :facepalm: Rather than turn around and ride back I went to my sister and recovered the emergency key. I then phoned the office security guard and asked that he safely store my keys so that I could collect them in the morning.

I then got into the habit of locking my bike within the storage cage so that I had to have my keys to ride home.

Oh, well if we're including leaving thinsg at work - I once left my wallet on my desk. As I discovered when I went to pay for the full tank of diesel I'd just put in my car.  So I had to leave me mobile as sucurity, and get back before the place was locked up to recover it?

And a second time I left my jacket - with wallet in pocket - on the back of my chair at a different workplace. Luckily I was on good terms with the security guard, and phoned and asked that, on his rounds, he collected it and took it to the gatehouse, from where I recovered it the next (Satur)day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 August, 2021, 03:06:38 pm
Got a 10-euro voucher from the car-battery shop then had to nip back in and blow it on a 1st-aid kit because I cut myself strapping down the battery in the boot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 10 August, 2021, 08:27:41 pm
Got a 10-euro voucher from the car-battery shop then had to nip back in and blow it on a 1st-aid kit because I cut myself strapping down the battery in the boot.
Ah, the Lord giveth…
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 10 August, 2021, 11:57:09 pm
Based on the first aid kit thread over there -->     this is why my car has an out of date manufacturer supplied first aid kit in the boot which was stolen from the car I sold and which it replaced.  Advert I placed did not specify first aid kit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 August, 2021, 08:33:49 am
Got a 10-euro voucher from the car-battery shop then had to nip back in and blow it on a 1st-aid kit because I cut myself strapping down the battery in the boot.
Ah, the Lord giveth…

Assuming you worship at Norauto.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 18 August, 2021, 11:52:37 am
Me: why is this new laptop not working?
<Investigates>
Me: because it is not turned on at the plug.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 18 August, 2021, 12:53:30 pm
Quote from: fboab
ffs on this one, too

Should have checked you were replying to internal peeps not external on this, shouldn't you?

Now wishing the ground would open up and swallow me, and instead of being righteously annoyed with failing supplier now have to look like a complete tool.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 18 August, 2021, 12:54:44 pm
Today I made a awkward trip to Station Road, Llanishen Cardiff. Could not find the place I was looking for, no number 131.  When I got home I checked the address it was Station Road Llandaff North which is closer to me. At least I knew it was not Station Road, Radyr which would be really convenient.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 August, 2021, 03:23:09 pm
I've considered a key safe in the past, but they aren't overly secure and in addition if I ever needed it I'd probably have forgotten the code.  I never liked the idea of a key under the doormat/flowerpot/etc but previous posts have got me considering a buried tin somewhere in the back garden; all I need to do is work out where, and more importantly how I'll remember where and nobody else will find it.
When you're remembered where the tin is buried, all you need then is a decent spade to dig it up. Which of course you keep in the padlocked shed. No problem, the key is in... oh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 18 August, 2021, 05:28:34 pm
Quote from: fboab
ffs on this one, too

Should have checked you were replying to internal peeps not external on this, shouldn't you?

Now wishing the ground would open up and swallow me, and instead of being righteously annoyed with failing supplier now have to look like a complete tool.
Bugger.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cygnet on 18 August, 2021, 08:17:03 pm
Quote from: fboab
ffs on this one, too

Should have checked you were replying to internal peeps not external on this, shouldn't you?

Now wishing the ground would open up and swallow me, and instead of being righteously annoyed with failing supplier now have to look like a complete tool.
Bugger.

See also: responding to a message on MS Teams as though it's a personal message from the sender, rather than as actually posted in the meeting chat. That will teach me for trying to be more efficient.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 18 August, 2021, 08:31:14 pm
I have ameliorated this problem by ensuring I have no filter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 20 August, 2021, 04:04:36 pm
It looks as though I may have forgotten to book the leave I was supposed to book in September...   :facepalm:

Luckily we haven't booked anything away anywhere - we were just going to be on the boat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 20 August, 2021, 05:20:06 pm
Tried to clean my teeth (those remaining) with denture fixative. Very similar tube to the toothpaste.
Eyuck.  Disgusting.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 24 August, 2021, 08:36:41 pm
Not me, but us.

Pingu: where are the roof racks?
Me: ??? gestures at roof racks. Goes to inspect. They are for our previous car.  :-\
<we spend 5mins looking in the shed>
Me: we *have* actually used (other) roof racks on the Future Classic haven't we? Not imagining it?
Pingu: yes, yes we have
<Pingu & Mrs Pingu spend another 5 mins wondering if we've lost all our marbles>  ???
Eventually I espy the correct roof racks, cunningly hidden between the shed roof joists and the top of the wee room I had built in the shed.
Phew.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 02 September, 2021, 11:33:15 am
Currently fitting a diagonal into the left wing of our main gate. Quite a faff, holding a 2-metre oak board diagonally against the frame to mark it  - took about an hour of slippy-slidey with MrsT bravely supporting one end of the board and ignoring the swears.  Then had to persuade my 25-year-old mitre saw to swing to the correct angle and stay there. Eventually got it cut and did a dry run at fitting it into the frame. It's OK but it's a bit thick so it's sitting 5 mm proud.  No problem, just have to chamfer it down; so back to the workshop, get my Stanley n°6 going, and half an hour's planing does it.  I love planing and get into a sort-of trance, a bit like doing a long climb.

All done, shavings into the box under the bench, admire the result and realize: I've chamfered the wrong bloody edge.

 
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 02 September, 2021, 08:05:07 pm
I’ve got a sheet of “bollocks to brexit - we told you so” stickers.
Today I walked past two Wetherspoons.
Did I have the stickers with me?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 02 September, 2021, 08:43:58 pm
Photographing all of Ms Nutty's summer activities for school project (yes, we shouldn't have left it until the last week).  First set of photos on SD card in Mrs Nutty's study for her to upload when she gets a chance between meetings.  I needed to photograph the next project in action, so selected and grabbed another SD card off the pile to put in the camera.

Only 3 photos free   :(.   I went through the camera and deleted the ones not needed.  Only 3 photos left and still no space  ??? ??? ???   Removed card to stick it in the laptop and look.  Then I realised I'd grabbed a 16Mb card and not the 8Gb I thought I'd selected  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 02 September, 2021, 11:14:21 pm
Photographing all of Ms Nutty's summer activities for school project (yes, we shouldn't have left it until the last week).  First set of photos on SD card in Mrs Nutty's study for her to upload when she gets a chance between meetings.  I needed to photograph the next project in action, so selected and grabbed another SD card off the pile to put in the camera.

Only 3 photos free   :(.   I went through the camera and deleted the ones not needed.  Only 3 photos left and still no space  ??? ??? ???   Removed card to stick it in the laptop and look.  Then I realised I'd grabbed a 16Mb card and not the 8Gb I thought I'd selected  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Phew, I was expecting you to say you used the same SD card and deleted the first set of photos before Mrs N had uploaded the. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 02 September, 2021, 11:38:22 pm
Pulled one of the tents out for a looksee as it has been quite some while due to Lockdown etc, and  the tent only having been used once before. I was thinking that I  really must get hold of a footprint for this tent as the groundsheet is quite thin, only to discover that I had already fitted one. Doh........ ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 05 September, 2021, 09:28:38 am
I went out early this morning to join the volunteer street cleaning group.  I was a little late so missed them at you usual meeting place. Wandered around looking for them until I Whatsapped one of them.
Turned out that I wasn't a little late.  I was a little early.  One week early.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 September, 2021, 08:20:52 am
I'm away from home a week, down in Cambridge to work.

Travelling involves much stomping around between train stations. Obviously no bike, so I'm hoofing it everywhere.

Decided this would be a good opportunity to break in new boots.

I have blisters, major blisters, already.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 September, 2021, 10:13:54 am
I used to line the insides of the backs of new shoes with Sellotape to reduce friction. Worked beautifully.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 September, 2021, 12:30:57 pm
Well, I didn’t think that through properly. I’ve been replacing my soffits and facias, and have reached the box ends, which had me stumped for a while. I managed to order a small length of the right width board and set about cutting it to shape this morning. Oh. How am I going to join it to the soffit? I’ve got the right angled piece to connect it to the fascia, but that’s only going to work well if the box end also has the bullnose on the bottom.  :facepalm:

Now I could bodge it, but,that will forever annoy me and will probably leak in any case. So I need 350mm of 400*18mm bullnose facia. It’s sold in 5m lengths! At circa £100 plus delivery which isn’t exactly cheap fo a 5m length of anything.  Sigh.

I might look for and approach a window firm and se if they’ve got any offcuts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 14 September, 2021, 02:45:21 pm
I bought an aftershock headset and have spent the last 6 months moaning internally about the lack of a pause button on them.  I found it last night.  It is on the left side.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 September, 2021, 04:50:27 pm
Picked up a splinter from the top of our gate when I was going over it with a scraper this morning, which reminded me that my 10-yearly tetanus vaccination is due for renewal this year - I got the first one after inadvertently stabbing myself in the wrist in 1991.  It took me an hour of hunting to find my vaccination card, whereupon I found that:

- the first one wasn't 1991 but 1992
- my last vaccination was in 2002. Oops.

I suppose that means I'll have to have one asap and a booster in 2 years. Bugger.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wombat on 14 September, 2021, 05:16:36 pm
I bought an aftershock headset and have spent the last 6 months moaning internally about the lack of a pause button on them.  I found it last night.  It is on the left side.

You're not alone!  The only difference in my case was that I don't care about the pause button because I only use them for Zoom meetings, but I was surprised to find it there, accidentally.

I've had trouble, but it was entirely down to the bluetooth dongle needed to stuff into the desktop PC being crap, so a replacement was sourced.  As I use a wired microphone on the desk, during a meeting I can go to the nearby bathroom for a pee, whilst still listening in, but not making piddling noises for all to hear!  As I wear hearing aids, they are an excellent solution for me, and will be used at 1900, for another bloody Zoom meeting.  Hopefully this one will only be a couple of hours, unlike Saturday's 5 hour epic.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 14 September, 2021, 05:18:07 pm
Picked up a splinter from the top of our gate when I was going over it with a scraper this morning, which reminded me that my 10-yearly tetanus vaccination is due for renewal this year - I got the first one after inadvertently stabbing myself in the wrist in 1991.  It took me an hour of hunting to find my vaccination card, whereupon I found that:

- the first one wasn't 1991 but 1992
- my last vaccination was in 2002. Oops.

I suppose that means I'll have to have one asap and a booster in 2 years. Bugger.

We now do a lateral flow test and you only get the booster if the LFT says you need it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 September, 2021, 05:42:25 pm
Picked up a splinter from the top of our gate when I was going over it with a scraper this morning, which reminded me that my 10-yearly tetanus vaccination is due for renewal this year - I got the first one after inadvertently stabbing myself in the wrist in 1991.  It took me an hour of hunting to find my vaccination card, whereupon I found that:

- the first one wasn't 1991 but 1992
- my last vaccination was in 2002. Oops.

I suppose that means I'll have to have one asap and a booster in 2 years. Bugger.

We now do a lateral flow test and you only get the booster if the LFT says you need it.
I was going to say that a doc had told me that once you’ve had a two or three most people don’t need another anywhere near as regularly as was thought to be the case.
Given the lack of vaccination card and my accident prone earlier years, I’ve had plenty of tetanus booster over the years, but was bemoaning a missed visit after yet another self impalement when said doc mentioned the above.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 September, 2021, 10:13:54 am
Picked up a splinter from the top of our gate when I was going over it with a scraper this morning, which reminded me that my 10-yearly tetanus vaccination is due for renewal this year - I got the first one after inadvertently stabbing myself in the wrist in 1991.  It took me an hour of hunting to find my vaccination card, whereupon I found that:

- the first one wasn't 1991 but 1992
- my last vaccination was in 2002. Oops.

I suppose that means I'll have to have one asap and a booster in 2 years. Bugger.

We now do a lateral flow test and you only get the booster if the LFT says you need it.
I was going to say that a doc had told me that once you’ve had a two or three most people don’t need another anywhere near as regularly as was thought to be the case.
Given the lack of vaccination card and my accident prone earlier years, I’ve had plenty of tetanus booster over the years, but was bemoaning a missed visit after yet another self impalement when said doc mentioned the above.

That's interesting.  Just phoned the local pharmacy to see if they can do it PDQ, but it has to be the doc.  I've had a total of three shots, the last one 19 years ago.  Had a few scrapes in the last 10 years but none that I can recall involving old wood. Plenty of the stuff around here, though - our barn is around 150 years old.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 September, 2021, 03:18:19 pm
It would appear that if you apply pressure on some types of fillers in order to squeeze them out of a mortar gun into small cracks, if you don’t use a big enough nozzle, the pressure accelerates the curing time! If it doesn’t say application by mortar gun, it’s probably not suitable for application by mortar gun  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 September, 2021, 04:11:45 pm
Ah. You weren't still talking about my tetanus jab.  Alles Chlor.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 17 September, 2021, 05:27:02 pm
The weekend, and I'd just sat down with a fake beer after some pre weekend hoovering. Noticed that giant crap candle we were given as a gift and thought, must put that in the tip pile.
Leaned over, picked it up by the lid, moved it towards me, at which point the candle parted company with the lid, right over my glass of fake beer.
Glass *everywhere*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 19 September, 2021, 01:01:51 pm
This is almost more of a tip, advice or what have you. You know that bit where you are fettling a bike that hasn't been ridden for a while? In fact, all things considered possibly the first fettling you've done for a lockdown-while? That bit where you are cleaning and oiling the chain? Well, when you are spinning the rear wheel while cleaning the clag off the chain, just because you can't see the spokes as the wheel is turning too fast, that doesn't mean they are not there any more.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 20 September, 2021, 11:07:56 am
And a similar one from me, if whilst out on a ride you notice the bar end plug is working a bit loose, don't try thumping it home again whilst riding along. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 September, 2021, 02:37:19 pm
And a similar one from me, if whilst out on a ride you notice the bar end plug is working a bit loose, don't try thumping it home again whilst riding along.

BTDT. Fun!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: De Sisti on 20 September, 2021, 04:49:20 pm
Had a giant slab of victoria sponge cake on a side-plate in my left hand, together
with a fork to help me eat it (don't like using my hands for cake). In my right hand
was glass of stout. So fixated was I on the sponge cake, that, as I sat down on the
settee, and my face being so close to side-plate and fork, I accidently managed to
stab myself in the eye with fork. Still painful now. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 September, 2021, 06:53:01 pm
Had a giant slab of victoria sponge cake on a side-plate in my left hand, together
with a fork to help me eat it (don't like using my hands for cake). In my right hand
was glass of stout. So fixated was I on the sponge cake, that, as I sat down on the
settee, and my face being so close to side-plate and fork, I accidently managed to
stab myself in the eye with fork. Still painful now. 


Phew! I thought you might have spilled the stout! 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 21 September, 2021, 11:10:48 am

*Perhaps good news here... the new bike in the garage has not been noticed by my better half yet, so no questions about how much it cost and no demand for the same amount so she can spend it on herself!

Is it 1973 where you are?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 September, 2021, 11:21:38 am
After nearly an hours digging I found the problem.... I had forgotten to press the purchase button on the website so my items were still in the basket.  :facepalm:

You'd be in good company at the BHPC. We've had all sorts of problems with people thinking they've entered races who never clicked 'Confirm'. (And because they never clicked 'Confirm', we've no idea who they are until they turn up and aren't on the list.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 21 September, 2021, 03:14:16 pm
I remember a very funny thread from years ago on a triathlon forum - triathlon being an activity where it is very easy to forget something important...
Had this person arrived at an event and found that he'd forgotten his bike? His shoes? His swimming kit? Etc etc...
No, none of the above - he'd forgotten to enter the race...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 21 September, 2021, 04:24:44 pm
Some years ago I arranged with a friend to have a pop at the South Downs Way in a day. We had to catch the train from Wimbledon at 5.40am, and he had to get to here by car from Kings Langley. I'm about a 10 minute cycle from Wimbledon station so the plan was for him to be here by 05.00 to get a cuppa, assemble his bike, etc etc.

At about 5.25 I could hear the roar of an engine and the squealing of tyres at the bottom of the road.

And yes, he'd got a few miles away from home and had successfully ticked off in his head all the things he needed; shoes, freshly made sarnies, drinks mix, drinks bottles, bike .......   Oh fuck.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 September, 2021, 07:44:28 pm
I stabbed myself in the pinkie with a screwdriver while I was fitting new door handles.


And this is one reason why I won't be felling any trees myself....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 September, 2021, 08:26:15 pm
Today I gave myself a paper cut on a cardboard box. Not even paper!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 September, 2021, 08:29:04 pm
I have a door knob I need to temporarily uninstall, until such a time as barakta is no longer dependent on the use of a wheelchair ramp to move between rooms.  I keep bashing my hip on the knob every time I put the ramp down, and my bruise now has bruises.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 September, 2021, 07:57:11 am
The internals of the lock on our side gate are rusted up.  The lock fixings are only accessible from the edge of the gate, and they're only accessible when the gate is open.  Guess what bloody fool didn't think to oil them for 20 years.

OK, so we never use that gate because it dissuaded all & sundry from coming right up to our front door, then letting the dogs out when they left.  But now the only solution is to hacksaw through the bolt then find another lock with exactly the same dimensions, to fit the mortise etc. Aaargh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PhilO on 24 September, 2021, 08:42:31 am
The internals of the lock on our side gate are rusted up.  The lock fixings are only accessible from the edge of the gate, and they're only accessible when the gate is open.  Guess what bloody fool didn't think to oil them for 20 years.

OK, so we never use that gate because it dissuaded all & sundry from coming right up to our front door, then letting the dogs out when they left.  But now the only solution is to hacksaw through the bolt then find another lock with exactly the same dimensions, to fit the mortise etc. Aaargh.

Can you take it off its hinges to get at the lock without cutting it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: neilrj on 24 September, 2021, 08:36:27 pm
But now the only solution is to hacksaw through the bolt

Good luck as any lock worth using will have hardened steel pins in the bolt - occasionally in a tube so the pin may become a roller bearing too...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 September, 2021, 08:50:03 am
@PhilO: I was thinking about that yesterday: yes. The hinges are surface-mounted, so I can unscrew them.  It's bloody heavy, though with a webbing strap under it MrsT & I can probably take the weight standing straight up, leaving hands free for wiggling it out.

@neillrj: Thought of that yesterday too.  The hinge approach looks better.  Once I get it a-swing on the webbing a bang on the end of the bolt might well free it up, but I'll still need the lock out to de-rust & grease it.  Pingfuckitville.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 27 September, 2021, 07:10:19 am
I need to get some timber for a project to be done while MrsC is away with car.

Head into town on Sat to builder's merchant. Not sure of lengths that they sell, so I walk over to a stack to check. 4.8m.

Go in, pay absolute fortune for 3x4.8m of 4x2.
Go out to stack, load onto car rack.

Mooch about town doing various things.
Driving home, keeping a close eye on time, a feeling creeps up on me . . . .

I loaded 3x4.8 of 2x1.5.
Not 4x2

Too late to take it back on Sat, I'm going to have to go in today.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 September, 2021, 07:16:16 am
With La Poste going on line and our local sub-post-office always being "exceptionally" closed, we now have to print our own stamps and glue them onto the envelope.  Today I dutifully cut around the image of the perforations, put a piece of scrap paper on the desk and applied paste with a UHU stick as we learned in primary school, being careful not to shift the "stamp" into the gluey bits where I went over the edge, then applied it to the envelope, rubbing it down well to get rid of air bubbles in the approved manner.

I then lifted my letter and found that I had put it down on the gluey bits on the scrap paper, to which it was now stuck.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 28 September, 2021, 11:49:03 am
I have just given myself a blood blister by attempting to operate one of the ubiquitous antibac dispensers with the back of my hand.

Fucking div.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 September, 2021, 12:02:56 pm
That reminds me, there's currently an unimpressive but painful bruise on the back of my hand from when I attempted to do up barakta's spaz-laces (https://www.wiggle.co.uk/dhb-elastic-bobble-laces) with cold damp fingers after physioterrorism last week.  Feels like a 12 year old with a medical degree has tried to put a cannula in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 28 September, 2021, 12:52:46 pm
Feels like a 12 year old with a medical degree has tried to put a cannula in.

When Junior was still in something like 4th year at school, he managed to get some kind of work experience placement in the local hospital on account of him wanting to do medicine.

He was traipsing round the wards on the coat-tails of a consultant and a crocodile of medical students and FY1s.
The consultant turned to him, and asked him to take a blood sample from a patient.
He asked 'Are you sure?', to which he was asked 'What year are you?'.
'Fourth year', quoth he.
'Well, you should be able to do that!'
'Fourth year *at school*...'

He always did look a bit old for his age.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 September, 2021, 01:07:31 pm
Bonus points if he'd gone ahead and done it...

(I'd sometimes loiter around the pathology department at that age, as my dad would frequently stop in on a Saturday morning on the way to whatever to sign off on whatever needed signing off on, and inevitably get sucked into the crisis du jour.  Usually I'd manage to entertain myself with one of the arcane babbage-engines, but occasionally the technicians would find me something more interesting to do, like examine stool samples.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: iddu on 28 September, 2021, 08:25:24 pm
So I’m doing Lôn Las Cymru for a break, and it lashed it down last night/today.

Hanging tent & all out in tonight’s B&B to dry, I just nipped into the corridor to check the gloves on the rad...*click*...Oh FUCK...

There I am, stark bolock naked, in a corridor, with a locked door between me and my belongs....

Had to borrow a towel from another guest, walk 200m across Rhayader to the pub, and sit in the bar for 10 minutes waiting for the manager to turn up and find the master key, whilst nonchalantly drinking a pint...then walk back.

Good job nobody knows me round here and I have no sense of embarrassment 😁

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 28 September, 2021, 08:49:21 pm
Splort  ;D
Tomorrow morning will make up for it.  One memorable theme from LLC was riding quiet paths, tracks or roads over here while all the traffic noise is from somewhere just out of sight over there.  Rhayader to Llangurig is a particularly fine example. I didn't previously know it was possible to enjoy traffic noise.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 September, 2021, 09:39:04 am
Iddu, that is epic.

"A froode who really knows where his towel is."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: iddu on 29 September, 2021, 01:16:36 pm
sanghang-froid, I haz it... ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 29 September, 2021, 01:55:13 pm
I'm not surprised the hangings got a bit froid
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 September, 2021, 03:36:46 pm
Absolute top classic! POTD and FDOTY!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 29 September, 2021, 11:19:15 pm
So I’m doing Lôn Las Cymru for a break, and it lashed it down last night/today.

Hanging tent & all out in tonight’s B&B to dry, I just nipped into the corridor to check the gloves on the rad...*click*...Oh FUCK...

There I am, stark bolock naked, in a corridor, with a locked door between me and my belongs....

Had to borrow a towel from another guest, walk 200m across Rhayader to the pub, and sit in the bar for 10 minutes waiting for the manager to turn up and find the master key, whilst nonchalantly drinking a pint...then walk back.

Good job nobody knows me round here and I have no sense of embarrassment 😁

You could have doubled up with a skinny dip in the Wye... ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 October, 2021, 12:46:10 pm
“Perfect timing,” thought Mr Larrington as he emptied the last of the jar of Brown Drink into his mug yesterday, “for tomorrow I shall visit Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles, wherein a fresh jar of same may be obtained in exchange for ready money”.

Mr Larrington’s demeanour now is rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back, having failed utterly to realise that finishing the Brown Drink on a Sunday means no Brown Drink on Monday unless he goes shopping before being properly caffeinated, and has to make do with tea instead.

Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 04 October, 2021, 01:21:18 pm
Tea is a much more civilised way to start one’s day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 04 October, 2021, 04:52:27 pm
Quote from: Mr Larrington
“Perfect timing,” thought Mr Larrington as he emptied the last of the jar of Brown Drink...
I can thoroughly recommend the services of a good Quartermaster.  MrsLurker has such things under excellent control that, short of a complete breakdown in the food supply chain - which could never happen in somewhere as well governed as Britain - oh... wait..., hang on a mo..., oh well, anyway, as I was saying, there is always a replacement jar of instant brown drink and packet of *proper* ground brown drink to hand.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 04 October, 2021, 07:02:31 pm
Almost:  I was packing the bike into its box to go travelling.  All complete and locked up ready to go.  30 minutes later I went back to the garage for a bottle of wine to go with our meal and found saddle and seat post on top of the wine fridge.  It is now in the bike box.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 October, 2021, 07:22:56 pm
Quote from: Mr Larrington
“Perfect timing,” thought Mr Larrington as he emptied the last of the jar of Brown Drink...
I can thoroughly recommend the services of a good Quartermaster.  MrsLurker has such things under excellent control that, short of a complete breakdown in the food supply chain - which could never happen in somewhere as well governed as Britain - oh... wait..., hang on a mo..., oh well, anyway, as I was saying, there is always a replacement jar of instant brown drink and packet of *proper* ground brown drink to hand.

Kanban system in hand, minimum stock level of unground brown drink beans is established, based on expected time to consume.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 04 October, 2021, 10:43:00 pm
Almost:  I was packing the bike into its box to go travelling.  All complete and locked up ready to go.  30 minutes later I went back to the garage for a bottle of wine to go with our meal and found saddle and seat post on top of the wine fridge.  It is now in the bike box.
Phew.
Spawny git thread needed?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 07 October, 2021, 09:22:01 pm
fitting new raceblades to the recumbent (always fun as the front and rear are swapped and the boom-fork-stay arrangemenet at the front is a PITA > I was focussing on positioning on the fork and fouling of the chainline, got the rubber attachments sorted, now to check the run-out for any fouling of the tyre

Odd, wheel won't move.  That's a lot of fouling, back in the stand, peer at the clearance, all looks OK, tweak it anyway.

That's when I notice that I've pulled the rubber strap around a spoke as well - I thought it felt a bit tight  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 08 October, 2021, 09:42:18 am
I'm shocked to hear that the ingredients for a Caffeinating Brown Drink that is Entirely Not Tea can be obtained from a jar.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 October, 2021, 10:43:04 am
I'm shocked to hear that the ingredients for a Caffeinating Brown Drink that is Entirely Not Tea can be obtained from a jar.
This is why it is referred to as brown drink!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 October, 2021, 12:47:37 pm
Indeed.  It is important to differentiate Coffee and Brown Drink as, irrespective of what it may say on the jar of the latter, they are Not The Same Thing At All.  Anyone who claims otherwise works in advertising.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 October, 2021, 01:41:05 pm
Coffee-shaped-object, innit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 08 October, 2021, 01:57:40 pm
Got the pub bike out to swap the rear wheel round (flip-flop hub) to run as fixed rather than freewheel - apart from having to let the tyre down to get the wheel in the frame, no problem . . . until I went to turn the pedals and got a very strange jumpin sensation on the sprocket (front chainring is a 3/32 but that's fine for a hack pub bike).

Ooops -  3/32 chain doesn't run on a 1/8 fixed sprocket . . .  off to the LBS to get a BMX chain . . . amazed to get a Shimano branded/boxed chain for £7.99 while a KMC was about £16.

The wheel had been on the old Claud that I had as a fixed before I swapped that to an SA 3 speed fixed (that bike was sold about 18 months ago) - hence fitting a 3/32 chain from my stock when setting up the freewheel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 10 October, 2021, 10:30:52 pm
Got the blue bike out for a ride to the parents for Sunday lunch.  Pump the rear tyre up.   Check that there is life in the B&M battery front light & fit a backup exposure light on the bars,  just in case. 


Getting ready to set off I notice that it's got no pedals....    I'd swapped them onto another beast.   Grab a pair from the spares box & fit them. 


Journey home.  Press the switch on my faithful , previously tested Lumotec....   dead.     :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 October, 2021, 08:36:54 am
Speaking of B&M, the dynamo buffer battery I put in a cupboard after PBP 2015 hasn't been used since and is probably dead.  I've been thinking of putting it back in circuit and running my GPS off it through the dark winter days.  A new one is - gulp - 85€. I thought they were about 30€.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 October, 2021, 10:09:45 am
Tea is a much more civilised way to start one’s day.
I second this cuppa.

Indeed.  It is important to differentiate Coffee and Brown Drink as, irrespective of what it may say on the jar of the latter, they are Not The Same Thing At All.  Anyone who claims otherwise works in advertising.
And this one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 11 October, 2021, 10:44:57 am
Appropriate turn to the thread.   I woke up after a bad nights sleep & decided I needed coffee.      Ground some beans,   filled my trusty Clever Dripper and then knocked it over.   Hot water & coffee grounds all over the bench & kitchen floor & I've no kitchen roll.  :facepalm:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASke7Z4KO9Q
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 October, 2021, 11:14:13 am
Done that with an Aeropress. Didn't have the plunger sufficiently engaged, pressed a bit squint and it came apart in the middle.  Hot water and grounds all over the place, including my belly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 11 October, 2021, 11:19:22 am
I had cereal for my breakfast and used the last of the milk. I’m going to have to drink coffee until I get to the shop.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 11 October, 2021, 02:06:46 pm
Done that with an Aeropress. Didn't have the plunger sufficiently engaged, pressed a bit squint and it came apart in the middle.  Hot water and grounds all over the place, including my belly.

We were staying at a "luxury" B&B in, IIRC, Hereford. My wife ordered coffee for breakfast, that came in a caffetiere.  When she attempted to depress the plunger, it at fist stuck, then very rapidly unstuck, with coffee spurting over the table. "Oh, they all do that" sayeth mine host
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 October, 2021, 02:35:09 pm
Once forgot to put the filter bucket into the coffeebot, so she highlighted her displeasure by spluttered hot liquid and coffee grounds in some quantity off over herself, the worktop, down the cupboards and onto the floor. If there's one thing worse than coming down to no coffee in the morning, it's having to mop the kitchen and worktops in order to prepare coffee.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 October, 2021, 02:37:39 pm
Speaking of B&M, the dynamo buffer battery I put in a cupboard after PBP 2015 hasn't been used since and is probably dead.

And dead it is.  I put it in circuit & gave the wheel a spin: light stayed off. Battery out of circuit & spin again, light comes on.  Oh well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 11 October, 2021, 03:00:27 pm
Once forgot to put the filter bucket into the coffeebot, so she highlighted her displeasure by spluttered hot liquid and coffee grounds in some quantity off over herself, the worktop, down the cupboards and onto the floor. If there's one thing worse than coming down to no coffee in the morning, it's having to mop the kitchen and worktops in order to prepare coffee.

This one is my dad's - Elderberry wine, freshly bottled, and "a bit lively". Bottles horizontal on top of the kitchen cupboard, watching TV "pop, whoosh".... "pop, whoosh".

Investigate to find a purple streaked ceiling and spreading pool on the kitchen floor.   

I always let my elderberry stand a day or so upright after that experience.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 11 October, 2021, 03:17:03 pm
Have always been a little puzzled by the speed of light and time compression for space travel thing. Since speed is relative I never got why the return trip couldn't be considered that the rocket was stationary and the earth moving towards it very quickly so cancelling out the differences in time. It came up again in a book I was reading the other day. The next book I started on was Paradoxes by the physicist and TV presenter Jim Al-Khalili.
So I had a peek at his web site and there was a "contact me" button. So I did and asked him about speed of light thing and space travel thing, I also mentioned I was reading his book and enjoying it. Didn't really expect any answer.

Amazingly next morning I had an email from him. It said:

Its not a symmetrical thing as the acceleration and deceleration undertaken by the spaceship and not the earth breaks the symmetry. By the way this is covered extensively in chapter 8 of my book which you are reading ...

Pat slaps head ....

Nice of him to reply though.

.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 October, 2021, 04:47:00 pm
Have always been a little puzzled by the speed of light and time compression for space travel thing. Since speed is relative I never got why the return trip couldn't be considered that the rocket was stationary and the earth moving towards it very quickly so cancelling out the differences in time. It came up again in a book I was reading the other day. The next book I started on was Paradoxes by the physicist and TV presenter Jim Al-Khalili.
So I had a peek at his web site and there was a "contact me" button. So I did and asked him about speed of light thing and space travel thing, I also mentioned I was reading his book and enjoying it. Didn't really expect any answer.

Amazingly next morning I had an email from him. It said:

Its not a symmetrical thing as the acceleration and deceleration undertaken by the spaceship and not the earth breaks the symmetry. By the way this is covered extensively in chapter 8 of my book which you are reading ...

Pat slaps head ....

Nice of him to reply though.

.
See your sig line
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 11 October, 2021, 05:29:23 pm
Have always been a little puzzled by the speed of light and time compression for space travel thing. Since speed is relative I never got why the return trip couldn't be considered that the rocket was stationary and the earth moving towards it very quickly so cancelling out the differences in time. It came up again in a book I was reading the other day. The next book I started on was Paradoxes by the physicist and TV presenter Jim Al-Khalili.
So I had a peek at his web site and there was a "contact me" button. So I did and asked him about speed of light thing and space travel thing, I also mentioned I was reading his book and enjoying it. Didn't really expect any answer.

Amazingly next morning I had an email from him. It said:

Its not a symmetrical thing as the acceleration and deceleration undertaken by the spaceship and not the earth breaks the symmetry. By the way this is covered extensively in chapter 8 of my book which you are reading ...

Pat slaps head ....

Nice of him to reply though.

.
See your sig line

Yeah, I always knew I was wrong just couldn't find it explained anywhere why :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 October, 2021, 05:37:36 pm
Isn't it something to do with spacetime stretching, so symmetry is routinely broken (and this explains why distant starlight appears to break the conservation of energy but doesn't if you consider that spacetime continues to expand)?

Honestly, I don't know why this stuff took Einstein so long.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 11 October, 2021, 06:00:04 pm
Speaking of B&M, the dynamo buffer battery I put in a cupboard after PBP 2015 hasn't been used since and is probably dead.

And dead it is.  I put it in circuit & gave the wheel a spin: light stayed off. Battery out of circuit & spin again, light comes on.  Oh well.

Lithium-ion cell protection circuitry will probably trickle-charge until the voltage is in spec, before coming to life (if the cell isn't too far gone).  Suggest you ride PBP with it again and see if it starts working...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 October, 2021, 09:10:09 am
Speaking of B&M, the dynamo buffer battery I put in a cupboard after PBP 2015 hasn't been used since and is probably dead.

And dead it is.  I put it in circuit & gave the wheel a spin: light stayed off. Battery out of circuit & spin again, light comes on.  Oh well.

Lithium-ion cell protection circuitry will probably trickle-charge until the voltage is in spec, before coming to life (if the cell isn't too far gone).  Suggest you ride PBP with it again and see if it starts working...

I would dearly love to, believe me.

I'll try and knock together some kind of connector and put it on a USB charger.

ETA: I've got it hooked up to an old 9v battery (exp Jan 2001) which is still delivering 5.8ish voles, and sitting within smelling distance on my desk just in case.

ETA': That's rubbish: charging current is around 2 mA.  Recommended max is 1.5 A.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: campagman on 12 October, 2021, 09:07:08 pm
I decided to shorten a pair of trousers using the iron-on web stuff that I have used successfully before. Went very well until I realised that I should have turned the trousers inside-out before starting. Doh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 October, 2021, 08:54:55 am
I shortened my trousers that way for a job interview in the 70s.  When I came out I headed post-haste, still in my interview duds, to the clinic where my wife was about to give birth. While she was in the throes the tape job gave way.  The first thing the theatre nurses did after my daughter was born was to fetch sticking-plaster for my turn-ups.

Didn't get the job.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 13 October, 2021, 12:25:42 pm
I shortened my trousers that way for a job interview in the 70s.  When I came out I headed post-haste, still in my interview duds, to the clinic where my wife was about to give birth. While she was in the throes the tape job gave way.  The first thing the theatre nurses did after my daughter was born was to fetch sticking-plaster for my turn-ups.

Didn't get the job.
You got off lightly: a lot of people in that situation end up with stitches  :-X
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 22 October, 2021, 04:20:45 pm
For some reason I'm crap at out of office voicemail and on email. Did them all today, my old work mobile didn't do the thing where the keypad wouldn't display which leads to a long pause after I finish. Remembered to press # all good

Except I'd done them all retuning to work

1st October

I can either time travel or off work for 11 Months
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 October, 2021, 04:15:47 pm
Mega div

Went for a rough, boggy bimble on local hills.
Stopped to take photos with phone at one point. Shoved phone back in bag.

Get home - no phone in bag.

I *probably* shoved it part way in and it fell out when I put bag on back - it was so windy I had trouble getting rucksack back on my back.

That was when I was standing in knee-high heather.

Likely location of dropped phone; over an hour's walk away at a minimum. But it could have been anywhere on a very rambling, pathless walk.


This is super-bad, as my phone is used to verify access to work systems.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 October, 2021, 04:22:10 pm
Can you locate the phone with 'find my device' or similar?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 October, 2021, 04:33:07 pm
Just as drug dealers have burner phones and cyclists need crasher phones, walkers need loser phones.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 24 October, 2021, 04:39:58 pm
Can you locate the phone with 'find my device' or similar?
That worked very well for my daughter's phone after she dropped it in some long grass on a walk. It was only a few hundred yards from where she was when she noticed its loss.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 October, 2021, 04:45:54 pm
Can you locate the phone with 'find my device' or similar?

yeah . . .

The location given by that is at least 3 km out

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 October, 2021, 04:46:38 pm
Just as drug dealers have burner phones and cyclists need crasher phones, walkers need loser phones.

Or, when taking a phone in a pouch with a leash, they need to be not such an effing div and actually use the leash.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 25 October, 2021, 02:44:43 pm
Took the rear wheel out one of my bikes as dismantling the derailleur for a thorough clean. Due to mudguard need to deflate tyre a bit

Put all back together and went for a brew. Oiling chain and think hmm tyres a bit soft must have had a visitation. Thankfully just before taking it out to fix i noticed the valve was undone and remembered why
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 25 October, 2021, 04:14:19 pm
That thing where you go for a wee and realise you flies are already open, and you are left trying to work out when you last had a wee, and where you've been since then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 October, 2021, 01:19:00 pm
Taking out a wall and window. There is already a beam above, this used to be a garage door-sized entrance.

Cut the screws holding window in place. Hmm won't move. Took out all the blockwork to the sides - still won't move. Took out blockwork below. Surely?  Yes, with a nudge. Bastard heavy for its size, mashed my fingers. Ow

Managed to roll up the sheeting I had outside (with several beams clamping it to provide strength. Tied up with rope.

Ok, work done. Lower it. Untie one end. Untie other, holding beams. I'll step down off ladder and go to the middle . . . Whole lot slips through fingers, 4.8m of 4x2 smacks me in the head and sends me flying. Ouch. Gingerly prod skull checking for bleeds. Nothing major.

Idiot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 October, 2021, 04:14:35 pm
And the divvery continues. I'm on a roll, folks!

Cycle in to Stornoway - only about 16km away but I'm going shopping at it isn't flat.

Rush to library. Lock up bike. Erm, hang on, my bike lock key isn't on this keyring. No problem, I always keep the spare key in my tool pouch.  Why won't key go in?

That's the Abus key. Not much chance of it working in a Kryptonite lock. You absolute arse.

So I did bare minimum essential jobs, that didn't mean leaving bike alone for long. People are pretty good around here, but it is school chucking out time and teenagers are teenagers everywhere.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 29 October, 2021, 04:36:41 pm
Guess which idiot left his glasses within the dog's easy reach...

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51639288500_8658578db7_w.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2mFbRom)
Glasses (https://flic.kr/p/2mFbRom) by citoyen (https://www.flickr.com/photos/103760266@N08/), on Flickr

This is one of the two new pairs I bought just over a month ago. He's already had a go at the other pair, but fortunately didn't get further than chewing the end of one of the arms.

Luckily, they're cheapos from Glasses Direct, which lessens the pain somewhat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 October, 2021, 04:39:35 pm
@mrcharly did the knock to your head cause the key issue?

@citoyen I hope they weren't superduper ££££
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 29 October, 2021, 04:46:18 pm
@citoyen I hope they weren't superduper ££££

I took advantage of the new customer offer from Glasses Direct, which means I got both pairs with change from £20.

Price is not the main concern anyway - I just can't read without glasses now, and since reading is a rather fundamental part of my job, they're quite important to me.

Although I'm actually more worried about the possibility that the dog has eaten bits of broken glass - I really can't afford a vet's bill right now...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 October, 2021, 04:47:10 pm
Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 29 October, 2021, 04:48:22 pm
Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.

Or just get into the habit of keeping them on a high shelf!

(I've managed to learn not to put my slippers down anywhere he can reach them.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 29 October, 2021, 05:09:30 pm
That thing where you go for a wee and realise you flies are already open, and you are left trying to work out when you last had a wee, and where you've been since then.

Just follow the trail, that'll answer the second question.....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 29 October, 2021, 06:06:17 pm
And the divvery continues. I'm on a roll, folks!

Cycle in to Stornoway - only about 16km away but I'm going shopping at it isn't flat.

Rush to library. Lock up bike. Erm, hang on, my bike lock key isn't on this keyring. No problem, I always keep the spare key in my tool pouch.  Why won't key go in?

That's the Abus key. Not much chance of it working in a Kryptonite lock. You absolute arse.

So I did bare minimum essential jobs, that didn't mean leaving bike alone for long. People are pretty good around here, but it is school chucking out time and teenagers are teenagers everywhere.

Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock. :o ;D

How many buses a week to your place? :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 October, 2021, 06:30:49 pm
And the divvery continues. I'm on a roll, folks!

Cycle in to Stornoway - only about 16km away but I'm going shopping at it isn't flat.

Rush to library. Lock up bike. Erm, hang on, my bike lock key isn't on this keyring. No problem, I always keep the spare key in my tool pouch.  Why won't key go in?

That's the Abus key. Not much chance of it working in a Kryptonite lock. You absolute arse.

So I did bare minimum essential jobs, that didn't mean leaving bike alone for long. People are pretty good around here, but it is school chucking out time and teenagers are teenagers everywhere.

Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock. :o ;D

How many buses a week to your place? :demon:

About one bus per hour - apart from first thing in morning and evening, when it is every 30 min. Honestly, the outer hebrides has a better bus service than most cities.

MrsPingu I was a bit worried about knock on head - it hit me hard enough that my head was hurting (headache type) for a while. Well still is.  I've had major concussion before so that worried me at the time.  Might have made me a bit cloudy of thinking for a while.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 October, 2021, 07:19:25 pm
 :-\
I hope you told mscharly that you got twatted on the head then, so she can keep an eye out. If you haven't already please do so. (From she whose OH didn't tell me he'd been knocked unconscious until it was too late to come home from another country...) Hope your branes are unharmed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2021, 07:20:52 pm
Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock. :o ;D

That's how I thought the story was going to end, too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 October, 2021, 07:25:09 pm
:-\
I hope you told mscharly that you got twatted on the head then, so she can keep an eye out. If you haven't already please do so. (From she whose OH didn't tell me he'd been knocked unconscious until it was too late to come home from another country...) Hope your branes are unharmed.

lol she is 600miles away and there ain't no way I'm telling her! 

The scrapes and cuts should have healed before she gets back in 2 weeks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 29 October, 2021, 11:41:40 pm
Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock. :o ;D

That's how I thought the story was going to end, too.
The Jurek variation.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 October, 2021, 12:01:02 am
I thought the Jurek Variation had a sqrl in it ???
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2021, 12:04:25 am
I thought the Jurek Variation had a sqrl in it ???
What do you think ran off with the keys?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 30 October, 2021, 08:19:27 am
All this unabated piss taking while I'm asleep. ::-)
You lot really know how to take advantage .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 October, 2021, 09:29:25 am
Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.

Or just get into the habit of keeping them on a high shelf!

(I've managed to learn not to put my slippers down anywhere he can reach them.)

There's no such thing as can't reach:

(https://pbase.com/johnewing/image/124760736.jpg)

That chair started off on the far side of the kitchen.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 30 October, 2021, 09:32:46 am
Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.

Or just get into the habit of keeping them on a high shelf!

(I've managed to learn not to put my slippers down anywhere he can reach them.)

Dog trains man ...  😀
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 30 October, 2021, 10:48:17 am
T42: haha OMG!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 30 October, 2021, 11:32:04 am
I once lived with someone and we had three cats.
Between the tops of the kitchen cupboards and the ceiling there was a gap of four inches or so.
It was a handy place to store  white porcelain used-only-once-in-a-blue-moon casserole dish.
After many years of non-use the dish was pressed into service.
When we took it down from the cupboard, what we found inside it in the dust were tiny, tiny cat footprints.
God knows how they got up there.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 30 October, 2021, 12:03:20 pm
There's no such thing as can't reach

Oh god… I shouldn’t laugh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 30 October, 2021, 12:24:11 pm
Friends installed cameras to find out what their mutts were doing and how they managed to get up and open things. So that they could install or move the correct things the first time around.

This is what the camera picked up https://www.instagram.com/p/B2buoFIhSff/
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 October, 2021, 12:45:06 pm
There's no such thing as can't reach

Oh god… I shouldn’t laugh.

Oh, laugh away: we still do, in fact we burst out laughing when we found him up there.  You'll notice, BTW, that the lower cupboards and the drawers have lost their knobs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 30 October, 2021, 12:46:26 pm
Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.

Or just get into the habit of keeping them on a high shelf!

(I've managed to learn not to put my slippers down anywhere he can reach them.)

There's no such thing as can't reach:

(https://pbase.com/johnewing/image/124760736.jpg)

That chair started off on the far side of the kitchen.

A big dog did it and ran away.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 October, 2021, 11:30:57 am
“Gosh and, moreover, crikey!” exclaimed Mr Larrington at oh-dark-thirty this morning.  “Although the time on my fondleslab says it is almost two ack-emma it certainly does not feel that way!”  Realisation rapidly dawned when the timer switch turned the Great Hall light off a couple of minutes later.

Edit: “Half past five already!” exclaimed Mr Larrington.  “Where did the afternoon go?  Oh.  The PC says it’s half four.  Perhaps I should adjust the time on the clock/thermometer gadget!”
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 01 November, 2021, 12:10:42 pm
Mrs Nutty wants to employ decorators for upstairs.  Mr Nutty hates tradespeople doing substandard work as I can do it better.

Bathroom ceiling needed repainting, and family were away, so I started.  Plastic sheets taped over all walls and floor to protect them.  Loose paint scraped away.  Bare plaster primed.  Job ready to go.

The new paint went on lovely, but softened the old paint that started to peel and coat the roller  >:(.    Much swearing later the new bare patches were primed and job done ready for overnight drinkypoos and drying.

In the morning all looked good and ready for second coat.  The new paint went on lovely, but softened the old paint that started to peel and coat the roller  >:(   Much swearing later the new bare patches were primed and job done.  Plastic removed, room cleaned, await arrival of family.

In hindsight I should have stripped the whole ceiling before starting, but I was too far down the tin of paint when I realised and I didn't want to buy another tin (and the shops weren't open).


Why am I a div?
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 02 November, 2021, 07:57:13 am
Yesterday was domestic fettling to install a new CH radiator  (q.v. Rant thread re draining system)

All went more or less to plan although draining was slow and tricky - all fitted back together, bleed rads, boiler pressure, warmth etc - all tickety boo until I saw the unused can of CH inhibitor on the bench  >:(

At least I could just drain down a couple of buckets of water to get the inhibitor in through the top of a towel rail and set it all up again.    The annoying thing is that I had a checklist to tick off each task . . .  I guess I got over-excited having finished all the pipework.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 03 November, 2021, 12:24:34 am
Took a malfunctioning laptop power supply apart that bad just been plugged in and immediately put my finger on the 400 volt, 100 microfarad input capacitor. Ouch. Two proper little burns right on my finger tip. Despite having watched countless YouTube videos where they warn you about this.

Even after that, putting a (disposable) knife blade across made proper big sparks and burnt the metal multiple times.

It’s a third party one, so no bleed resistor.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 November, 2021, 06:52:00 pm
I loaded up the washing machine this morning. I can't remember if I made a conscious decision not to put it on or if I forgot. Got home from work and saw the door was open so I put washing powder in and set it off. 10 mins later Pingu says 'I already did the washing'.
I attempted to remedy by stopping and putting it onto rinse program, but that just left white powder spots. Another wash later then...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 November, 2021, 08:54:36 pm
I loaded up the washing machine this morning. I can't remember if I made a conscious decision not to put it on or if I forgot. Got home from work and saw the door was open so I put washing powder in and set it off. 10 mins later Pingu says 'I already did the washing'.
I attempted to remedy by stopping and putting it onto rinse program, but that just left white powder spots. Another wash later then...
And the moral of this story is washing machines should never be meddled with by the secondary member of the household.   ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 05 November, 2021, 10:46:53 pm
This is why Kim is the laundry fairy and I make applications to the laundry fairy as needed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 05 November, 2021, 10:50:45 pm
I loaded up the washing machine this morning. I can't remember if I made a conscious decision not to put it on or if I forgot. Got home from work and saw the door was open so I put washing powder in and set it off. 10 mins later Pingu says 'I already did the washing'.
I attempted to remedy by stopping and putting it onto rinse program, but that just left white powder spots. Another wash later then...

I am confused as to why someone would open the door on a washing machine that has finished it's run, but then not be immediately hung out to dry.

If you leave the door closed, it's a sealed unit, and will remain clean smelling and fine, for upto 24 hours (never left it longer).

If you open the door, it will start to partially dry, but more importantly it will start to smell of damp.

For me I operate the basic system:

- Door open, washing not yet run.
- Door closed, washing is clean, but needs hanging out.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 November, 2021, 11:24:18 pm
YMMV...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 November, 2021, 11:29:04 pm
I am confused as to why someone would open the door on a washing machine that has finished it's run, but then not be immediately hung out to dry.

I think I know the answer to this one, it's because the washer is still on it's default setting of 'make a bloody annoying noise after the program is finished' and I haven't yet fettled it to STFU mode.
And the not hanging out to dry bit is cos it's not me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 06 November, 2021, 08:57:50 am
I am confused as to why someone would open the door on a washing machine that has finished it's run, but then not be immediately hung out to dry.

I think I know the answer to this one, it's because the washer is still on it's default setting of 'make a bloody annoying noise after the program is finished' and I haven't yet fettled it to STFU mode.
And the not hanging out to dry bit is cos it's not me.

We have a half-way house method if not immediately being hung out. It gets pulled out into the washing basket, where it will happily sit overnight without getting in the least bit musty smelling. There’s no apparent way to get our machine to STFU but it does give up after about 20 repeats.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 06 November, 2021, 10:35:03 am
We have a half-way house method if not immediately being hung out. It gets pulled out into the washing basket, where it will happily sit overnight without getting in the least bit musty smelling. There’s no apparent way to get our machine to STFU but it does give up after about 20 repeats.

This does not match my experience.



I think I know the answer to this one, it's because the washer is still on it's default setting of 'make a bloody annoying noise after the program is finished' and I haven't yet fettled it to STFU mode.
And the not hanging out to dry bit is cos it's not me.

Why would someone design something like that? My machine sings a tune when it's done, but it only takes about 5 seconds to play. Then it's silent. It's a washing machine, not an oven timer, why does it need to alert you so urgently?

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 November, 2021, 11:28:19 am
Our washing machine beeps on finishing and then beeps every 90 seconds or so for 10 minutes. I find it can be muted reasonably well by the removal of my hearing aids  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 06 November, 2021, 11:31:44 am
Our washing machine beeps on finishing and then beeps every 90 seconds or so for 10 minutes. I find it can be muted reasonably well by the removal of my hearing aids  ;D

Tell me the designer of this machine does not do the laundry at home, without telling me the designer of this machine doesn't do the laundry at home.

What a stupid fucked up design that is!?

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 November, 2021, 11:43:42 am
It's a perfectly reasonable design for someone who doesn't want to forget that they need to hang up a wash load.  It needs to keep going for a while, because you might be in another room or have music on.  Or you might have ADHD, or have your short term memory erased by the stairs.

This is all fine[1], as long as there's a setting to disable the beeps.  Which was the first thing I did when I installed ours, along with enabling extra rinse by default.  (I prefer to set a timer that produces a visual alert.  If it didn't require a game of whitegoods Sokoban to access the mains socket for the washing machine, I'd probably add a smart plug to detect the end of the cycle automatically.)


[1] For "everything beeps at 1kHz" values of 'fine'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 November, 2021, 11:46:26 am
Yes. I think it's good that it tells you it's finished but then when it keeps periodically reminding I end up shouting "alright, I heard you the first time" at it.

I think Pingu's waiting for me to RTFM to disable it, but I did all that for deciphering the programs and was bored by that point.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 06 November, 2021, 12:07:15 pm
Lucky we haven't gotten and item that plays a "tune" yet. The ones I have heard online would have cause me to buy a sledgehammer rather fast.

Please Please Please stop this silliness. Here's a good podcast about it - https://www.20k.org/episodes/domesticsymphony (listen to the horror at 9:15'ish arrgghhh) Not everything needs a sound logo / soundmarks - https://www.20k.org/episodes/soundmarks

Yes I understand the reason and kinda welcome it. But please use better sounds/speakers not them beeping single tones one. At the very least have a quick way to mute this nonsense.

It's right up there with the youth some years ago using their mono and mini speakers on their mobiles to play music. Please save up to get a good set of bluetooth speakers (as I often don't mind the music they are playing, just what they are played on) or put you ears on.

The first thing I do when I get a new item or OS/PC is to go mute all these notification, they are doing my head in.

It's not that hard to look at our washing machine to see if it running and/or in the need to be emptied, I don't need "music" on a tinny speakers.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 November, 2021, 12:44:49 pm
I have my Makita battery charger set to play a tune when it finishes, because unlike the simple beep option it contains frequencies I can hear over woodworking noises.  Barakta informs me that it's out of tune, by which I infer it's not using a crystal oscillator as a clock reference.

TBH, if things are going to make audio alerts, it's better to be distinctive, and not another 1kHz square wave. But mostly it's best not to bother.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 06 November, 2021, 12:56:33 pm
Our washing machine plays a (somewhat annoying) tune, loudly enough for me to hear it from upstairs or the front room, but it shuts up after 5 or 10 seconds.

It also talks to the internet, and I've been finding app control surprisingly useful - I quite like being able to turn it on while I'm out, so that the cycle finishes shortly before I get home, or I can set an extra spin without having to actually go to the kitchen. It's also easier to adjust things like number of rinses or temperature through the app, or at any rate it gives you more options than through the machine's control panel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 November, 2021, 01:30:32 pm
My washing machine plays a little three-note ditty when it finishes, once only, but then it’s well into its third decade of life and doesn’t subscribe to this modern-type notification fad.  And it's inaudible unless you're in the Sheds anyway.  On the other hand, I wish the end beep on the oven was louder, like that of its predecessor, as the current one cannot be heard from the Great Hall if the telly is on.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 November, 2021, 02:21:01 pm
I went back and looked at the instuctions again and I can change the volume of the finish beeps from 0 to very loud but I cannot change the number of times it reminds.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 07 November, 2021, 06:26:05 pm
I'm not allowed to touch the washing machine so it's been a while since I've tried to wrestle one of the devices. I think about 2008 when my wife worked in NJ for long enough that I ran out of pants (I swear I must have a hundred pairs of pants, I don't know why, but it's handy when you're under a life-long washing machine sanction).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 07 November, 2021, 08:44:59 pm
My machine (Bosch) was designed by someone who thought they were designing a smoke alarm. You can adjust the volume but not the persistence. It’s a washer/dryer, so there’s zero urgency to unload it. Unless it actually is on fire.

I’ve never encountered a toaster that beeps when finished, even though cold toast is as bad as stinky laundry.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 07 November, 2021, 09:18:03 pm
My machine (Bosch) was designed by someone who thought they were designing a smoke alarm. You can adjust the volume but not the persistence. It’s a washer/dryer, so there’s zero urgency to unload it. Unless it actually is on fire.

I’ve never encountered a toaster that beeps when finished, even though cold toast is as bad as stinky laundry.

Kitchen Aid toaster has a mild "ding" when it's done, and toast rises from the slot . . .  if you don't take the toasted slice out after a while it lowers it back down and has a "keep it warm" function
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 07 November, 2021, 09:29:24 pm
Isn't the mechanical sound of toast ejection enough?  ???
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Kim on 07 November, 2021, 09:41:24 pm
Shirley this is what the smoke alarm is for?
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 07 November, 2021, 09:45:11 pm
Shirley this is what the smoke alarm is for?

No smoke alarm going off means it's salad for dinner...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 08 November, 2021, 03:49:15 pm
Smoke alarm? Do you mean the thing the tells me I’m cooking bacon? I’ve often wondered why I needed an alarm for that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 08 November, 2021, 04:59:41 pm
Isn't the mechanical sound of toast ejection enough?  ???

The toast doesn't "pop up" - it ascends gracefully and almost silently, with the ding as the lift mechanism stops  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 November, 2021, 05:09:07 pm
My toaster requires manual intervention to raise the contents of the slot although there is a satisfying clunk when the timer switches off the elements.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 08 November, 2021, 06:51:49 pm
I’m feeling left out here, my washing machine just stops making a noise at the end of the cycle, then clicks when the door can be unlatched.  A little green light lights up as well.  Do you think this could catch on ?


Smoke alarms…… none of the ones in my parents house were working. Over 20 years old & painted over a couple of times.  I know what I’m going to be installing on my next visit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 08 November, 2021, 08:57:11 pm
My toaster requires manual intervention to raise the contents of the slot although there is a satisfying clunk when the timer switches off the elements.

That sounds as if it's a Dualit toaster?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 November, 2021, 10:13:08 pm

Smoke alarms…… none of the ones in my parents house were working. Over 20 years old & painted over a couple of times.
:facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 November, 2021, 10:21:50 pm
Stabbed myself in the thumb with a screwdriver again. I'm getting good at that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 08 November, 2021, 11:18:13 pm
Our washing machine just stops when it finishes. No audible alert, it just stops making washing/spinning noises.
The start up's a bit noisier though since I have to hit the door very hard between 5 and 10 times to persuade it to get going.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 09 November, 2021, 09:21:41 am
My toaster requires manual intervention to raise the contents of the slot although there is a satisfying clunk when the timer switches off the elements.

That sounds as if it's a Dualit toaster?
It is. It’s done 20 years service with one replacement timer switch. It’s repairable nature is another reason to get one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 09 November, 2021, 09:24:29 am
Stabbed myself in the thumb with a screwdriver again. I'm getting good at that.
As an apprentice I was forced to watch gory films about the dangers of not using screwdrivers safely. Only moderately successful as a strategy because I’ve managed to stab myself a couple of times over the years  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 November, 2021, 09:26:52 am
Captain Clumsyfingers dropped a jar of turmeric on the kitchen floor last night. I'm going to be wiping up yellow for some time. At least it missed the cat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 09 November, 2021, 11:43:38 am
My toaster requires manual intervention to raise the contents of the slot although there is a satisfying clunk when the timer switches off the elements.

That sounds as if it's a Dualit toaster?
It is. It’s done 20 years service with one replacement timer switch. It’s repairable nature is another reason to get one.

We used a 3 slot model for about 16 or 17 years with just one change of elements and it still works - it's stored away as we lashed out on a Kitchen Aid toaster ... it looks great, does  great toast/bagels etc - and  REDmatches the KA mixer and kettle!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 November, 2021, 11:53:00 am
My toaster requires manual intervention to raise the contents of the slot although there is a satisfying clunk when the timer switches off the elements.

That sounds as if it's a Dualit toaster?
It is. It’s done 20 years service with one replacement timer switch. It’s repairable nature is another reason to get one.

We used a 3 slot model for about 16 or 17 years with just one change of elements and it still works - it's stored away as we lashed out on a Kitchen Aid toaster ... it looks great, does  great toast/bagels etc - and  REDmatches the KA mixer and kettle!

We got a 4-slot Dualit toaster as a wedding present. As mentioned elsewhere, this doesn't help me work out how old it is, but it's getting on for 20 years and still going strong. The lack of electronic mechanisms to go wrong, and the lack of beeping, are among its primary recommendations.

The new-ish washing machine plays a tune when it finishes, but that's a non-persistent one-off. The microwave, however, beeps every 30 seconds when it finishes - which is really annoying if you're in the middle of some other kitchen activity and don't have a clean/free hand to stop it. (And FFS, I don't always need to take whatever it is out of the microwave the moment it finishes the program - eg if it's defrosting something, I might be happy for it to sit there for another 10 minutes or more.)

At least none of the fuckers are connected to the internet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 November, 2021, 11:55:44 am
At least none of the fuckers are connected to the internet.

Quote from: Citoyen's Fridge
You might very well think that.  I couldn’t possibly comment.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 10 November, 2021, 12:13:40 pm
The microwave, however, beeps every 30 seconds when it finishes - which is really annoying if you're in the middle of some other kitchen activity and don't have a clean/free hand to stop it. (And FFS, I don't always need to take whatever it is out of the microwave the moment it finishes the program - eg if it's defrosting something, I might be happy for it to sit there for another 10 minutes or more.)

As I say, these things should be configurable.

You don't find it useful.  It's a liability in the hands of barakta, who will happily leave a microwave beeping for hours after heating up a wheat bag and getting distracted, which isn't really fair on the neighbours.

A friend with ADHD finds it invaluable; it stops them making two different lunches or filling their environment with cups of cold tea.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 November, 2021, 12:23:38 pm
A friend with ADHD finds it invaluable; it stops them making two different lunches or filling their environment with cups of cold tea.

My wife does that - she'll put eg a cup of tea in to warm it up and then go off and do something else. And then I have to stop what I'm doing to go and make it stop beeping...

I vent my frustration on the microwave rather than my wife though.

I haven't checked if it's configurable. Maybe I should.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 November, 2021, 12:33:35 pm
At least none of the fuckers are connected to the internet.

Quote from: Citoyen's Fridge
You might very well think that.  I couldn’t possibly comment.

Don't even joke about it. This kind of shit gives me nightmares.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 13 November, 2021, 08:41:31 pm
The microwave, however, beeps every 30 seconds when it finishes - which is really annoying if you're in the middle of some other kitchen activity and don't have a clean/free hand to stop it. (And FFS, I don't always need to take whatever it is out of the microwave the moment it finishes the program - eg if it's defrosting something, I might be happy for it to sit there for another 10 minutes or more.)

As I say, these things should be configurable.

You don't find it useful.  It's a liability in the hands of barakta, who will happily leave a microwave beeping for hours after heating up a wheat bag and getting distracted, which isn't really fair on the neighbours.

A friend with ADHD finds it invaluable; it stops them making two different lunches or filling their environment with cups of cold tea.

if environment = my office, I regularly find a cold cup of tea.  Singular rather than plural, mug, black, coffee for the filling of, mug, large white, tea for the filling of, neither mug to be sullied by alternative fluids.

Office = place where time disappears in the blink of an eye and tea goes from boiling to "fucking hell, that's another cup I didn't drink" before you can say "teams meeting"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 November, 2021, 09:12:08 pm
Back before we moved and I was climbing a Ramsey ladder to get to my office in the loft, in the interests of H&S I decided it would make sense to carry my tea up there in a stainless steel flask (actually one I bought for Pingu some years back for cold weather cycling).

This turned out to be such a good thing in that I get a huge amount of tea for every boil of the kettle and it stays hot, that this quickly became default tea making mode. I still drink it out of a mug but just pour out what I need and it prevents lots of it going cold.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 November, 2021, 09:15:28 pm
Back before we moved and I was climbing a Ramsey ladder to get to my office in the loft, in the interests of H&S I decided it would make sense to carry my tea up there in a stainless steel flask (actually one I bought for Pingu some years back for cold weather cycling).

Hananananh the Astronononomer has form for climbing ladders with flasks of liquid nitrogen.  In the dark.  Fortunately, H&S decided it was 'far too obvious' to result in one of her famous accidents.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 13 November, 2021, 09:21:32 pm
Polite reminder to self: don't get involved on facebook

Someone I know vaguely as a friend of a friend made a post on a group I'm a member of this morning. I posted a reply to it. It wasn't a critical comment, but maybe came across a tad more negative than I intended. Which I realised later, and so went back to facebook to post a follow-up comment... but by that time the post had been deleted and the person had left the group.

Yes, it's an over-reaction on their part, but I feel like a pillock for making a comment I really didn't need to make.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 13 November, 2021, 09:27:51 pm
You once called me 'fatuously disingenuous.'

Made my day. Probably quite true, too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 14 November, 2021, 08:39:57 pm
At least none of the fuckers are connected to the internet.

Quote from: Citoyen's Fridge
You might very well think that.  I couldn’t possibly comment.

Don't even joke about it. This kind of shit gives me nightmares.

It was also central to the plot of a murder mystery I read, the perpetrator hacking in to domestic appliances to kill the owners.

ETA: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25861995-the-steel-kiss
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2021, 09:23:42 pm
I recall an interesting discussion on some IRC channel or other where knowledgeable tech people debated the best way to use a pwned-smart-thing equipped home to kill its occupant.

Usual contemplation of various ways to start fires or cause a buildup of natural gas or carbon monoxide, or meddle with medication delivery, but the approach that seemed most likely to be successful was to spoof a phone call that would summon an armed police response...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 November, 2021, 09:46:28 pm
Surely there was at least one episode of The X-Files that used “baddies make tech go rogue” as a plot device?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2021, 10:11:45 pm
Surely there was at least one episode of The X-Files that used “baddies make tech go rogue” as a plot device?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_in_the_Machine_(The_X-Files)

It was about as plausible as Demon Seed, but it's got all the best tech goes rogue tropes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 14 November, 2021, 10:33:21 pm
Ah yes, 90's X Files episodes being a mixture of the true conspiracy I Want To Believe stuff padded out with the utterly bonkers.
Mojo used to wander around Pingu Basements mkI moaning on X-Files night. Trufax.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 15 November, 2021, 08:09:36 am
The toaster that heat printed weather forecast symbols on your toast always struck me as one of the best internet of things ideas. It’s neatly predictable. Though limited by my preference for granola.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 November, 2021, 11:46:59 am
90's X Files episodes

I've just looked it up, and it kept going until 2002.  I think I gave up on it in 1998 or so, and then didn't have a telly for ages.  Did anything ever get resolved?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 November, 2021, 12:04:07 pm
The Lone Gunmen got killed utterly to DETH and William will save the world.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 15 November, 2021, 12:05:57 pm
Didn't Mulder finally get to properly tend Scully's allotment?

I may have dreamed that one, of course.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 15 November, 2021, 10:07:06 pm
90's X Files episodes

I've just looked it up, and it kept going until 2002.  I think I gave up on it in 1998 or so, and then didn't have a telly for ages.  Did anything ever get resolved?

There was another 2 series after that in 2016 and 2018.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 November, 2021, 10:11:34 pm
Didn't Mulder finally get to properly tend Scully's allotment?

I may have dreamed that one, of course.
I seem to remember the production of a sox1 from a weeding session, though Mulder didn’t find out about it until sometime later as befits the conspicuous nature of the show

1. Sculy/Fox highbred.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 November, 2021, 10:01:34 am
Captain Clumsyfingers, having finally banished the yellow clouds of turmeric, ventured back into the kitchen last night to retrieve the cat food, pulling out the sachet and simultaneous dislodging a pack of 10 cans of some other cat food, which, of course, landed on my bare foot. Despite not falling very far as the cupboard is at ground level (the cans were on the top shelf, so about knee height), it really fucking hurt and made me utter a number of very bad words. The boundless sympathy of my wife stretched to why don't you look what you're doing? which I suppose is unsympathetically accurate. Bad Cat just gnawed my ankle (Little Monster Cat, being wiser, just patiently waits by her bowl).

Big fat bruise now and I won't be wearing party heels for a few days.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 16 November, 2021, 11:29:31 am
90's X Files episodes

I've just looked it up, and it kept going until 2002.  I think I gave up on it in 1998 or so, and then didn't have a telly for ages.  Did anything ever get resolved?

There was another 2 series after that in 2016 and 2018.

I'm sure I must have known that.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 16 November, 2021, 11:51:50 am
and not to forget the movie
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 November, 2021, 12:01:43 pm
and not to forget the movie

Why not, everyone else did.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Deano on 16 November, 2021, 12:13:58 pm
Situation: two wheels for my Giant, one slightly dodgy hub, one knackered hub,

Just bought a shiny new 32-hole hub, planned to use it with my still quite nice 32-hole rim, and use the slightly dodgy hub from that with the rim from the hub that's completely knackered, which will be relegated to the box of random spares.

I stripped the wheel, carefully labelled the spokes (drive side leading etc), and looked and thought I didn't seem to have enough spokes. At that point, I counted the holes in the rim.

Anyone want a 28-hole rim?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 November, 2021, 06:22:33 pm
and not to forget the movie

There were two, but the second one was a Rubbish.

The Lone Gunmen had their own spin-off too, but Fox canned it after a single season.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 16 November, 2021, 07:32:05 pm
bugger I missed that
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 November, 2021, 08:53:29 pm
and not to forget the movie

There were two, but the second one was a Rubbish.

The Lone Gunmen had their own spin-off too, but Fox canned it after a single season.

Didn't they all die spectacularly and suddenly? (checks Google, it seems they were cancelled, came back to the X-Files where they were more spectacularly cancelled with a biological agent, presumably not one of Mulder's ripe ones).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 November, 2021, 01:36:50 am
After their series got canned they came back for one ep in S9 in order to be killed utterly to DETH and buried in Arlington, though Langly popped up in one episode of series 11 having been uploaded to the Internets before getting deaded.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 November, 2021, 09:11:49 am
This cash machine has gone odd - much stranger responses. Oh well, gimme my money.

Oh, I just used a credit card.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 18 November, 2021, 09:29:15 am
Don't knock it, I used to have a top-loading VCR with a mysterious set of front panel LEDs that I eventually discovered worked as a ouija board to communicate with the teeming dead. Not one of whom was willing to tweak the tracking.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 November, 2021, 04:28:06 pm
Halfway round today's toddle I put in my order at the coffee/cake shop then sat down and realized that I'd left wallet & papers at home.  No problem: I've been going there for 15+ years to they not only put it on a tab but insisted on lending me 10€ just in case.  Nice people.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 20 November, 2021, 08:56:17 pm
Last year I had the flu jab for the first time.  A few hours later I had to retreat to bed to sweat out the side effects.

Yesterday I had this year's flu jab.

Felt horrible all day and sat in front of the telly for 5 hours re-watching the current series of Shetland, with the gas fire on flat out.

You'd think I might have learned...

And I've got the Covid booster on Saturday, and I had a reaction to the first jab.  Not looking forward to this.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 21 November, 2021, 07:32:03 am
Quote from: andytheflyer
... this year's flu jab. Felt horrible all day...
Sympathy, but got to be better than going down with the real thing.  Definitely a YMMV thing, though.  I had my flu jag last week (my first ever, my but that makes me feel *old*) as did MrsL.  No reaction at all for either of us.  Don't get our boosters until mid Dec.  Be interesting to see if either of us react to that as we didn't get a huge reaction to the AZ.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 21 November, 2021, 09:09:30 am
Quote from: andytheflyer
... this year's flu jab. Felt horrible all day...
Sympathy, but got to be better than going down with the real thing.  Definitely a YMMV thing, though.  I had my flu jag last week (my first ever, my but that makes me feel *old*) as did MrsL.  No reaction at all for either of us.  Don't get our boosters until mid Dec.  Be interesting to see if either of us react to that as we didn't get a huge reaction to the AZ.
Well, the upside of the flu jab adverse reaction (apart I suppose from getting the flu itself) was that I spotted a few clues in the Shetland mystery that I'd missed previously, but there's still a few things I'm obviously missing.  All will be revealed in the last episode this coming Wednesday.  Doubtless DI Perez will crack the case, again. My elder daughter's a DI and I can't see her cracking it.......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 November, 2021, 09:21:32 am
Ah well, a strong reaction implies that your immune system took notice and swung into action, so you should be well-protected.  Folk like me, however, whose immune systems said "yeah, so what?", maybe not.  I had a 3-month dose of Vit.D two days before, too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 21 November, 2021, 08:10:25 pm
I thought I had lost my wallet. I knew where it was it was in my coat pocket where I last used it. It was not there, a frantic search all over the house followed. Just as I was about to ring the bank to cancel cards I realised I looked in the pocket of the wrong coat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 November, 2021, 08:15:40 pm
Got one of those Ikea Alex drawer sets.
Built it.
Puzzled by the drawers not fitting in the way I expected.
I built it upside down, didn't I?  :facepalm:

(In my defence it was not obvious which was up the side panels should be oriented in the instructions)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 November, 2021, 10:03:56 pm
Took barakta to the pool for a shower and some extracurricular hydroterrorism.  We cunningly checked the timetable to ensure that we went after the boom change[1] and when all children[2] in onesies[3] had dissipated.  What we failed to notice was that the pool depth was 2.0m.   :facepalm:

Cue some partially arsed leg-wiggling on the wheelchair lift, and a bit of stair-stepping.  Swimming is still verboten.


[1] When they take the pool out of commission to convert it from two 25m pools to a single 50m pool, or vice-versa.
[2] Because you can forget about the accessible changing rooms being  a) available  or  b) clean  at children o'clock.
[3] At some point in the decades since I had swimming lessons, it became compulsory to wear a onesie on the way home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 November, 2021, 10:33:50 pm
So is barakta now wearing a onesie, or do we need to buy something suitable for Christmas ?  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 November, 2021, 10:57:32 pm
Not a onesie in sight.  It turns out that 2-metre full-length pool time is when the budgie smugglers[1] come out.


[1] A brand of antipodean swimwear who can't maintain a web server. (https://budgysmuggleruk.com/)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 24 November, 2021, 08:50:51 am
Changing the pool depth requires a foot note too for those who don’t live in the future like you. Does the floor move or is there a huge drop from the sides?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 November, 2021, 09:30:38 am
Changing the pool depth requires a foot note too for those who don’t live in the future like you. Does the floor move or is there a huge drop from the sides?

I'm guessing the floor lifts/lowers. Not uncommon in modern swimming pools.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 24 November, 2021, 09:41:29 am
Changing the pool depth requires a foot note too for those who don’t live in the future like you. Does the floor move or is there a huge drop from the sides?

I'm guessing the floor lifts/lowers. Not uncommon in modern swimming pools.

The are, and they scare me like all good underwater mechanisms should. Fortunately my local pool* doesn't do this, it's an old school slope to the depths. Yes, I budgie-smuggle in a slinky pair of Speedos. Back in the days I swam in Beckenham there used to be this old guy who'd wear high-leg super-tight trunks in leopard print. Now that was a look.

*bog standard, council issue 25m, ostensibly for the general public but block booked empty by local schools, other than the evenings fortunately. The Crystal Palace 50-m pool still seems to be closed for refurbishment, bah.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 November, 2021, 09:53:54 am
The pool I regularly swim in (https://goo.gl/maps/cdGxRmJSpYQmksth7) raises and lowers the floor on a roughly 7hr cycle. If I go at the right (ie wrong) time, I can be 200m from the edge and still barely in over my knees.

I used to love going to the Crystal Palace 50m pool when I lived in South London. It's nice just not having to turn round so often.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 24 November, 2021, 10:19:46 am
The pool I regularly swim in (https://goo.gl/maps/cdGxRmJSpYQmksth7) raises and lowers the floor on a roughly 7hr cycle. If I go at the right (ie wrong) time, I can be 200m from the edge and still barely in over my knees.

I used to love going to the Crystal Palace 50m pool when I lived in South London. It's nice just not having to turn round so often.

Indeed, I always used to go on Sunday afternoons, after a week of 25 metre lengths, it was a gorgeous to have 50 metres to just stretch out.

It's in a forever cycle of trying to find funding to fix it (though I think City Hall have finally confirmed they'll provide funding). It's ridiculous though, we have two fifty-metre pools in the capital and one of them has been closed for a couple of years now while they bicker about funding for repairs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 November, 2021, 12:16:07 pm
Changing the pool depth requires a foot note too for those who don’t live in the future like you. Does the floor move or is there a huge drop from the sides?

The floor (and the divider between the two sections) moves on hydraulics.  It's controlled by a rubbish touchscreen, secured by the same code than an idiot would have on his luggage (DAHIKT).  There's also a ~1.5m square section in the corner that moves independently, for lowering wheelchair users in and out of the water at a rate of approximately 2mm/hour - risking severe finger-fatigue on the part of the touchscreen operator, and hypothermia on the part of whoever's getting out of the pool.

They have mildly clever stairs that fold flat as the floor of the pool rises.  This is entirely non-obvious when viewed from above the water.

When the pool's split in half, they usually jibble the depth between 1.2m and 0.9m, depending on whether smalls are having swimming lessons.

Molisher's website: https://variopool.nl/
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 November, 2021, 05:21:34 pm
Put in a LED strip so that I can actually see into my wardrobe (eugh!). Once it was up it looked crooked, but my 1-metre spirit level showed it wasn't: the beam it's mounted on the side of is slightly curved underneath so that it just looks that way.  I should have ignored the spirit level and done it by eye.

This house is >180 years old and almost nothing is level.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 November, 2021, 08:44:59 pm
Note to self: your tea will be a lot less wishy and, moreover, washy if you pour boiling water over the tea bags rather than into an empty mug :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 27 November, 2021, 11:36:42 pm
Note to self: your tea will be a lot less wishy and, moreover, washy if you pour boiling water over the tea bags rather than into an empty mug :facepalm:

OK Mr L
Over the last few years, I have been labouring under the impression that your 'brown drink' was carp instant coffee.

Tonight I find out that Pingu has been thinking it is tea.

Who is correct?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 November, 2021, 11:58:14 pm
Note to self: your tea will be a lot less wishy and, moreover, washy if you pour boiling water over the tea bags rather than into an empty mug :facepalm:

It's even more washy if you miss the mug entirely (DAHIKT)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 28 November, 2021, 12:07:16 am
Note to self: your tea will be a lot less wishy and, moreover, washy if you pour boiling water over the tea bags rather than into an empty mug :facepalm:

It's even more washy if you miss the mug entirely (DAHIKT)


An entirely different drink can be concocted if a misfiring early morning teenage brane causes you to pour boiling water into the sugar bowl*.....     :facepalm:


*I recently acquired some Nice China via Ebay.  It included a sugar bowl.  I don't know anyone who takes sugar in tea or coffee anymore.




Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 November, 2021, 01:34:45 am
Note to self: your tea will be a lot less wishy and, moreover, washy if you pour boiling water over the tea bags rather than into an empty mug :facepalm:

OK Mr L
Over the last few years, I have been labouring under the impression that your 'brown drink' was carp instant coffee.

Tonight I find out that Pingu has been thinking it is tea.

Who is correct?

You are.  Brown Drink is consumed in the morning, or the nearest available approximation to same, and comes out of a jar with “Douwe Egberts” written on the label in large friendly letters.  Proper Tea, on the other hand, is drunk after dinner and is made with two (2) Yorkshire Tea bags per large* mug.

* It originally had the word “Bubba” written on the side to emphasise its biglitude, coming as it did from a branch of Wolmart just outside Couer d'Alene ID, but the lettering wore off yonks ago.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 28 November, 2021, 09:05:28 am
Quote from: Mr Larrington
... Proper Tea, on the other hand, is drunk after dinner...
Is this what civilised people call dinner, i.e. the midday meal or what others call dinner, i.e. the much delayed meal that civilised types call tea?



Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 28 November, 2021, 09:27:40 am
Quote from: Mr Larrington
... Proper Tea, on the other hand, is drunk after dinner...
Is this what civilised people call dinner, i.e. the midday meal or what others call dinner, i.e. the much delayed meal that civilised types call tea?
Now I'm really confused.  I was invited to a friend's house this past week for 'supper', but at 7pm.  Now I call that 'dinner', or possibly, 'tea' (as immortalised by Hamish and Dougal, and I was once asked for real turning up in the mid evening at a friend's mum's house in Carnoustie!).  I thought supper was what you might have had just before bedtime.

Someone enlighten me, please.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 28 November, 2021, 09:37:56 am
This might help - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinner
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 28 November, 2021, 10:10:25 am
Mealtime nomenclature aside, the word civilised cannot be used within a country mile of a description of the barbaric practise of pouring boiling water over teabags placed within a mug. Now, I’ve long since accepted the containment of leaves within little perforated bags1 as a necessary evil, but to dispense with the use of proper tea pot as a mashing vessel is utterly improper. Anyone indulging in such despicable behaviour really does deserve whatever calamity befalls them.

1. Although, I am now questioning the environmental impact of the same because I recently became aware that most teabags are some form of unbiodegradable plastic.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 November, 2021, 10:36:16 am
If making tea inna mug is good enough for the Honest BRITISH Builder then it's good enough for me.  Although I will admit to preferring it without a spoonful of Portland cement, even though that may lead to accusations of inauthenticity.  Also ICBA to lug a teapot around Abroad, where the FOREIGNS don’t understand tea*.  Bad enough having haul around a kettle and a Tupperware box full of tea bags.

* Though Yorkshire Tea can be found in the wild in Canuckistan.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 28 November, 2021, 10:39:45 am
Mealtime nomenclature aside, the word civilised cannot be used within a country mile of a description of the barbaric practise of pouring boiling water over teabags placed within a mug. Now, I’ve long since accepted the containment of leaves within little perforated bags1 as a necessary evil, but to dispense with the use of proper tea pot as a mashing vessel is utterly improper. Anyone indulging in such despicable behaviour really does deserve whatever calamity befalls them.

1. Although, I am now questioning the environmental impact of the same because I recently became aware that most teabags are some form of unbiodegradable plastic.
That's why you should have a proper brew https://www.yorkshiretea.co.uk/brew-news/an-update-on-plant-based-tea-bags
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 28 November, 2021, 11:06:06 am
This as a Yorkshire household and Yorkshire tea has been the bag of choice for many years, and I wasn’t aware of that. Splendid.

To return to the uncivilised behaviour of Mr Larrington. While I do believe that some leeway can be accepted when one is travelling in abroad where the foreigns live, while in the homestead one really should comport oneself to an acceptable standard. One will leave aside WHY one would want to travel to a place where a simple thing like tea is not understood by the locals.

As an aside, the making of tea in a mug was introduced to this unit in his apprenticeship by the group of individuals known then as ‘hairy arsed1jointers2’  to whit, kettle to boil on propane stove in the back of the van, two teaspoons of leaf tea in the mug, boiling water added. Stir and leave to mash. When a suitable time has passed add two or three healthy squirts of condensed milk from a tube, or a heaped teaspoon of the same from a tin. Stir and savour.

1. Hairy arsed due to their working practice of sitting on the ground on the edge of a footway box. I can verify the working practice from direct personal observation. I verify the hairyness or otherwise that this causes on the arse.

2. Jointers because their profession was the jointing of cables. A skill of varied practices which at the time still included soldering of wires and the plumbing of lead joint enclosures. Some of the old boys still working in the time of my apprenticeship were artisans when it came to that plumbing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 November, 2021, 11:37:55 am
The “Why” of travelling in the Tealess Zones west of the stormy North Atlantic is because that's where they keep Nevada's State Highway 305, obv.  And if you’re going to all the trouble and expense of getting there you might as well drink tea in regions of Abroad not adjacent to NV-305, because some of them can be quite picturesque.  As you can see here:

(https://live.staticflickr.com/4431/36904515632_0a5503652e_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/Ye8hLh)
Smoke on the water (https://flic.kr/p/Ye8hLh) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 28 November, 2021, 12:02:42 pm
Ah good, I win  :smug:

I make tea inna mug (well, actually I make it in a stainless steel flask for a)more and b)safer carrying of hot liquids (this is a hangover from WFH up the loft ladder at the previous Pingu Towers but hey, more) but with an infuser.
No, not one of those crappy little round balls, but a decent sized receptacle that half fills the mug and allows the leaves to move. Earl Grey Darjeeling, since you ask. :P
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 28 November, 2021, 12:24:46 pm
During out sojourn at the excellent Mad Hatters campsite near Ely, Wowbagger, Canardly & myself were served Proper Tea in a lovely pot, wrapped in a cosy.  The lady who made it put the leaves in a little muslin bag rather than one of the infuser balls.


I'm currently on my 3rd mug of something from a Women's Cooperative coffee farm in Colombia.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 November, 2021, 01:16:39 pm
Quote from: Mr Larrington
... Proper Tea, on the other hand, is drunk after dinner...
Is this what civilised people call dinner, i.e. the midday meal or what others call dinner, i.e. the much delayed meal that civilised types call tea?
Now I'm really confused.  I was invited to a friend's house this past week for 'supper', but at 7pm.  Now I call that 'dinner', or possibly, 'tea' (as immortalised by Hamish and Dougal, and I was once asked for real turning up in the mid evening at a friend's mum's house in Carnoustie!).  I thought supper was what you might have had just before bedtime.

Someone enlighten me, please.

Dinner is a main evening meal, synonymous with tea unless:

- It's a School Dinner, which as the name doesn't suggest is served at lunchtime (and distinct from a packed lunch), and should be composed of one of more of: mushy peas, concrete chips, soggy semolina and/or Jamie Oliver.

- You're a northerner.

Supper, OTOH, is either:

- Another word for dinner

- An archaic term for what barakta would refer to as 'pre-bed munchies'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 28 November, 2021, 01:30:36 pm
...Supper, OTOH, is either:

- Another word for dinner

- An archaic term for what barakta would refer to as 'pre-bed munchies'.

Unless it's a fish supper.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 28 November, 2021, 01:52:16 pm
I enjoy breakfast, morning coffee, brunch, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, high tea, dinner and supper.  If I get a tad peckish I have been known to snack as well.  😋
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 28 November, 2021, 02:00:39 pm
I enjoy breakfast, morning coffee, brunch, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, high tea, dinner and supper.  If I get a tad peckish I have been known to snack as well.  😋


You are a Hobbit AICMFP. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 28 November, 2021, 02:46:47 pm
Ah good, I win  :smug:

I make tea inna mug (well, actually I make it in a stainless steel flask for a)more and b)safer carrying of hot liquids (this is a hangover from WFH up the loft ladder at the previous Pingu Towers but hey, more) but with an infuser.
No, not one of those crappy little round balls, but a decent sized receptacle that half fills the mug and allows the leaves to move. Earl Grey Darjeeling, since you ask. :P

Everybody  knows decent Earl Grey is made with China tea. Everybody also knows that any tea really needs to be loose leaf, suitable sized pinch in the bottom of a mug, left to infuse and sink to the bottom
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 28 November, 2021, 03:11:34 pm
Around here, dinner is formal (going out, friends over) sit down meal. Supper is just grub on a plate. But dinner can also mean lunch and tea can mean supper. Supper and pudding is often used to cover 'pre-bed munchies'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nuttycyclist on 28 November, 2021, 03:15:57 pm
Dinner here refers to food.  It may be served at lunchtime if we're busy later, or may be served in the evening if we get a chance to sit down for food. 

Other days, such as today, two dinners will be consumed by members of the family who have had excessive swimming training and competitions.

Tea time for me involves boiling the kettle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 November, 2021, 08:40:07 pm
Not me this time.. Mrs B bought me a bottle of whisky so that I could celebrate st Andrews day.
However she bought a penderyn.  :facepalm:
I like penderyn,  but a Welsh whisky on Andy's day?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 01 December, 2021, 08:12:06 pm
Earlier today, I was applying dilute PVA to some plasterboard patching on the ceiling, prior to skim coating.
I was using quite a dilute solution, about 4:1 water to PVA.

Working above my head, the stuff dribbled down the paintbrush and along my arm, inside my t-shaped shirt, down my side and beyond.
And dribbled onto my head and remaining hair.
Chucked the work clothes in the washer when I was done, and washed the stuff off myself, so I thought.

Now, all my hair is stuck together.
Yes, all.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 December, 2021, 08:14:42 pm
There's a Rule According To Kim about PVA, and how it's only an effective adhesive on the things you don't want it to stick to...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 03 December, 2021, 04:30:41 pm
There's a Rule According To Kim about PVA, and how it's only an effective adhesive on the things you don't want it to stick to...

Titebond is for ever...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 04 December, 2021, 02:40:29 am
Already running a bit late for work, I was furiously trying to find where the hell I'd put my bike leathers - specifically the trousers. Why the hell they weren't hanging up with my jacket and lid was beyond me, but maybe I'd gone straight upstairs last time I got in, taken them off up there and left them? Not impossible.

As I ran up the first couple of steps, I heard the creak of the leather and felt the armour come tight against my knees.

I'm not sure how I failed to know the location of the trousers I was wearing, but it could be because I'm such a fecking div.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 04 December, 2021, 09:12:15 am
Couldn't find a chain I'd ordered in the invoice for cycle bits to be delivered yesterday, so I uttered a word of power and ordered another - action prompt and immediate in case Probikeshop ran out.

Delivery arrived at noon. What's this, two parcels?  One was the bits on the invoice, the other... a chain?  Then the light went on again and I remembered that I'd ordered the chain separately.  So now I'll have a spare, duh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 December, 2021, 04:37:58 pm
Skoggy Essex audax - Mudguards, yes, raceblade XLs in the back of the car ready to attach at the other end.

But I'd picked up the raceblade XLs for the 26" wheeled bike, not the 700c wheeled bike.  A lot of deep cleaning to do tomorrow
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 04 December, 2021, 04:48:31 pm
Skoggy Essex audax - Mudguards, yes, raceblade XLs in the back of the car ready to attach at the other end.

But I'd picked up the raceblade XLs for the 26" wheeled bike, not the 700c wheeled bike.  A lot of deep cleaning to do tomorrow

Even with over-wide Raceblades my bike needed a good hour with brush, sponges and hot soapy water.  Not Audax either, just a couple of 28k tootles.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 December, 2021, 07:15:46 pm
Skoggy Essex audax - Mudguards, yes, raceblade XLs in the back of the car ready to attach at the other end.

But I'd picked up the raceblade XLs for the 26" wheeled bike, not the 700c wheeled bike.  A lot of deep cleaning to do tomorrow

Even with over-wide Raceblades my bike needed a good hour with brush, sponges and hot soapy water.  Not Audax either, just a couple of 28k tootles.

Not a case of mudguards overwhelmed, 26" versions do not work on 700c, so a case of no mudguards.

Even the front of my forks an headtube are covered.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 December, 2021, 07:56:21 am
Undressing for bed last night, found my keys were not in my pocket.  Hunted in all likely places that I might have dropped them, went out and made sure I hadn't left them hanging in the workshop door, went back in, went to bed. Realized that I could have left them in the workshop door and some evil sod might have pinched them, and so spent an unpleasant night planning on replacing front door & workshop locks, duplicating keys, the whole bothersome procedure. Even dreamt about it.

Went out this morning in the twilight and found them in the grass beside the drive. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 11 December, 2021, 08:52:13 am
Undressing for bed last night, found my keys were not in my pocket.  Hunted in all likely places that I might have dropped them, went out and made sure I hadn't left them hanging in the workshop door, went back in, went to bed. Realized that I could have left them in the workshop door and some evil sod might have pinched them, and so spent an unpleasant night planning on replacing front door & workshop locks, duplicating keys, the whole bothersome procedure. Even dreamt about it.

Went out this morning in the twilight and found them in the grass beside the drive. :facepalm:
That'll be where the miscreant dropped them back after copying them then..................

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 December, 2021, 10:02:46 am
I'm not sure that our cowsnest has any miscreants capable of it.  Not ruling out the cows, though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 11 December, 2021, 11:16:27 am
On behalf of someone else in the household.

Puppy had surgery yesterday an is wearing a onesie-leotard thing with a flap that goes up between her legs and fastens with poppers on her back. Having lectured me on the need to undo the poppers the someone else let the dog out to do her “business” in the garden as usual.

Exactly as as usual, without stopping, passing Go or undoing the poppers….
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 December, 2021, 08:44:19 am
I need to add a radiator to our heating (there isn't one in the main living room).

Go through parts I have, look at existing pipework. Send MrsC off to town with a shopping list, including two 22-15 reducing Ts.

Halfway through the day, I have an utter brain fart, decide that I need four 22-15mm elbows instead.

MrsC gets parts.

I wake up this morning, have momentary "why did I think that?" thought, check diagram.

Nope, I should have got two 22-15 reducing Ts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 December, 2021, 10:11:11 am
<fx:gurns> I’m trying to think of how you could use 22/15 elbows to replicate 22/15 Ts. It’s an interesting mental workout, but it would require that you use other parts that you’ll probably need to get on so it doesn’t save you any grief. And it would take up a lot more room.
<fx:wanders off muttering to oneself>

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 December, 2021, 10:55:01 am
<fx:gurns> I’m trying to think of how you could use 22/15 elbows to replicate 22/15 Ts. It’s an interesting mental workout, but it would require that you use other parts that you’ll probably need to get on so it doesn’t save you any grief. And it would take up a lot more room.
<fx:wanders off muttering to oneself>
She came back with four 22-15 straights. So I can splice in two 15mm sections into the out and return, put 15mm Ts on those sections.

A bit of a hack but it will work.

Next task is to get pipe insulation. None of the heating pipes are insulted under the floor.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 14 December, 2021, 11:19:31 am
<fx:gurns> I’m trying to think of how you could use 22/15 elbows to replicate 22/15 Ts. It’s an interesting mental workout, but it would require that you use other parts that you’ll probably need to get on so it doesn’t save you any grief. And it would take up a lot more room.
<fx:wanders off muttering to oneself>
She came back with four 22-15 straights. So I can splice in two 15mm sections into the out and return, put 15mm Ts on those sections.

A bit of a hack but it will work.

Next task is to get pipe insulation. None of the heating pipes are insulted under the floor.
Oi !   Pipe !  Yes, you down there. FARKOFF !

Will that do ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 December, 2021, 11:24:55 am
<fx:gurns> I’m trying to think of how you could use 22/15 elbows to replicate 22/15 Ts. It’s an interesting mental workout, but it would require that you use other parts that you’ll probably need to get on so it doesn’t save you any grief. And it would take up a lot more room.
<fx:wanders off muttering to oneself>
She came back with four 22-15 straights. So I can splice in two 15mm sections into the out and return, put 15mm Ts on those sections.

A bit of a hack but it will work.

Next task is to get pipe insulation. None of the heating pipes are insulted under the floor.
Oi !   Pipe !  Yes, you down there. FARKOFF !

Will that do ?

No, we need to commission a special episode of Jacinda Swears (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=63464.msg2548836#msg2548836) to make sure those pipes know who’s boss.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 December, 2021, 11:44:14 am
<fx:gurns> I’m trying to think of how you could use 22/15 elbows to replicate 22/15 Ts. It’s an interesting mental workout, but it would require that you use other parts that you’ll probably need to get on so it doesn’t save you any grief. And it would take up a lot more room.
<fx:wanders off muttering to oneself>
She came back with four 22-15 straights. So I can splice in two 15mm sections into the out and return, put 15mm Ts on those sections.

A bit of a hack but it will work.

Next task is to get pipe insulation. None of the heating pipes are insulted under the floor.
Oi !   Pipe !  Yes, you down there. FARKOFF !

Will that do ?
No effect. They are cold and unmoved by your contribution.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 14 December, 2021, 12:14:15 pm
:-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 December, 2021, 12:33:52 pm
<fx:gurns> I’m trying to think of how you could use 22/15 elbows to replicate 22/15 Ts. It’s an interesting mental workout, but it would require that you use other parts that you’ll probably need to get on so it doesn’t save you any grief. And it would take up a lot more room.
<fx:wanders off muttering to oneself>
She came back with four 22-15 straights. So I can splice in two 15mm sections into the out and return, put 15mm Ts on those sections.

A bit of a hack but it will work.

Next task is to get pipe insulation. None of the heating pipes are insulted under the floor.
Oi !   Pipe !  Yes, you down there. FARKOFF !

Will that do ?

No, we need to commission a special episode of Jacinda Swears (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=63464.msg2548836#msg2548836) to make sure those pipes know who’s boss.

I just read that and thought to myself, Jacinda Swears is the sort of thing I'd think up. Reminds me to write to her.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 20 December, 2021, 11:06:12 am
Cooking last night.
Put pan of water on hob to heat up for pasta. Before turning on gas I plonk two dinner plates next to pan cos they're in the way on the worktop.
Turn on gas.
A few minutes later peer at pan of water to see if it's boiling yet.
Bloody huge bang.
Despite using the cooker for the last 8 years I still get the controls the wrong way round.
We are now short one 50 year old Langley dinner plate. (https://www.chinasearch.co.uk/denby---langley/mayflower/)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 December, 2021, 02:49:31 pm
Although Bond James Bond is a cool dude, Mr Larrington, he does not need to be stored in the fridge :facepalm:

At least he was still shrink-wrapped when I discovered this faux pas.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 December, 2021, 03:08:45 pm
Although Bond James Bond is a cool dude, Mr Larrington, he does not need to be stored in the fridge :facepalm:

At least he was still shrink-wrapped when I discovered this faux pas.
considers.

<fx:does deep thinking>
Wonders about googling.
Nope.
The mind boggles most mightily.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 20 December, 2021, 03:22:42 pm
DVD I presumed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 December, 2021, 03:33:41 pm
Blu-ray, double-oh-three-and-a-half*, Blu-ray.

* licence to maim
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 20 December, 2021, 04:23:13 pm
If the James Bond DVD ended up in the fridge, it begs the question as to what Mr. L tried loading into the DVD player. :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 20 December, 2021, 04:24:49 pm
If the James Bond DVD ended up in the fridge, it begs the question as to what Mr. L tried loading into the DVD player. :demon:

My money is on mini pizza or poppadums
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 December, 2021, 04:25:22 pm
Slice of ham would be traditional, but it only works on those notoriously fussy Denon pro CD players from the 1990s
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 20 December, 2021, 04:27:21 pm
Slice of jammy toast is traditional, is it not?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 20 December, 2021, 04:30:08 pm
M'Julie from Whitstable is the only person I know that has managed to get two VHS tapes into a machine that was only ever designed to accommodate one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 December, 2021, 04:30:58 pm
That's the VCR.  ETA: Crosspost with Jurek

The 'ham radio' incident occurred when a DJ of my acquaintance got pissed off with one of the studio CD players failing to read discs and instead fed it the contents of his sandwich.  For a few glorious seconds, the machine seemed to be making a decent go of reading the TOC, which was better than it had managed with the CDs it was offered.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: eckagain on 20 December, 2021, 04:36:56 pm
A previous (thankfully) Mrs eck once asked me to show her how to rewind a DVD.  ???
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 December, 2021, 04:39:20 pm
Blu-ray, double-oh-three-and-a-half*, Blu-ray.

* licence to maim

A. It slow today obv. Though I did lead myself into a blind cul-de-sac when I started down the path of 2D Klous and 2D Mr L  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 20 December, 2021, 07:20:22 pm
Despite using the cooker for the last 8 years I still get the controls the wrong way round.

On normal gas hobs the two middle knobs are always for the burners furthest from the controls, otherwise the pipes would have to either cross or go the long way round the near burners. So if you can imagine the pipes fanning out from the knobs you don’t need to look at the symbols.

(I say always, I’m sure someone’s made such a cursed contrivance (https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/kitchen-stove-hob-set-vector-1433038))
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 20 December, 2021, 07:26:55 pm
Despite using the cooker for the last 8 years I still get the controls the wrong way round.

On normal gas hobs the two middle knobs are always for the burners furthest from the controls, otherwise the pipes would have to either cross or go the long way round the near burners. So if you can imagine the pipes fanning out from the knobs you don’t need to look at the symbols.

(I say always, I’m sure someone’s made such a cursed contrivance (https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/kitchen-stove-hob-set-vector-1433038))
I never thought of it like that. It may possibly help. Ta.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 December, 2021, 07:27:38 pm
That upper right image with the invisible red dots reminded me that barakta finds the usual dots-as-a-map-of-the-hob graphics completely unhelpful.  To the point where I've added labels to ours to the effect of "front right (big)" etc. so she doesn't keep getting the wrong one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: graculus on 20 December, 2021, 07:31:55 pm
M'Julie from Whitstable is the only person I know that has managed to get two VHS tapes into a machine that was only ever designed to accommodate one.
Our 5 year old son managed it. We had left him and younger brother in the front room of a friends' house while we sat in the kitchen chatting. We should have become suspicious when it all went quiet. Friend was fortunately able to remedy the situation, but it took about half an hour of dismantling and re-assembly.
'But I wanted to see what happened' was my son's excuse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 20 December, 2021, 07:42:48 pm
I once had a hire car that refused to swallow my CD, until I pushed it in there.  Apparently it already had 6 other CDs in the single player slot.  Yes I got mine back.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 20 December, 2021, 07:45:31 pm
A previous (thankfully) Mrs eck once asked me to show her how to rewind a DVD.  ???

There was a time when a "DVD rewinder" was actually a thing.  ;D :facepalm:

https://the-useless-wiki.fandom.com/wiki/DVD_rewinder
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 December, 2021, 07:47:24 pm
That upper right image with the invisible red dots reminded me that barakta finds the usual dots-as-a-map-of-the-hob graphics completely unhelpful.  To the point where I've added labels to ours to the effect of "front right (big)" etc. so she doesn't keep getting the wrong one.

I'm glad it's not just me that keeps cocking it up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 December, 2021, 08:21:42 pm
That upper right image with the invisible red dots reminded me that barakta finds the usual dots-as-a-map-of-the-hob graphics completely unhelpful.  To the point where I've added labels to ours to the effect of "front right (big)" etc. so she doesn't keep getting the wrong one.

I'm glad it's not just me that keeps cocking it up.

It's underpinned by the same eldritch physics as USB orientation, you always get it the wrong way around.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on 20 December, 2021, 10:22:09 pm
It's not turning the right burner on that I have a problem with, it's turning the right one off, up or down.

Occasionally resulting in bafflement as to why the chicken is charred and the rice dry.

At least with Halligen and gas there's a chance of knowing I've fucked up through visual checks.

Hm... Better go and check as I made pancakes a few mins ago.

Sent from my BKL-L09 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 21 December, 2021, 01:06:50 pm
M'Julie from Whitstable is the only person I know that has managed to get two VHS tapes into a machine that was only ever designed to accommodate one.
Our 5 year old son managed it. We had left him and younger brother in the front room of a friends' house while we sat in the kitchen chatting. We should have become suspicious when it all went quiet. Friend was fortunately able to remedy the situation, but it took about half an hour of dismantling and re-assembly.
'But I wanted to see what happened' was my son's excuse.

My similarly aged daughter got creative, and after the tape, in went the remote….
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 21 December, 2021, 02:19:26 pm
Sons managed to post a jam sandwich into ours.  There was also the cheese sandwich in the aquarium incident.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 December, 2021, 02:39:22 pm
We had an armchair in aquarium incident, but that was due to my brother being a stompy 15 year old with a poor sense of inertia.  You know that bit in The Martian where he's desperately applying duct tape to his space helmet to stop the leak?  It was the aquatic version of that.  The fish were saved, but not the carpet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 December, 2021, 03:27:00 pm
Staying in the  house in York, in the guest bedroom.
Room has been neatly set up fresh bedding, a bedside table bedside lamp. Lovely. Middle of the night rotten with cold. Cold. I roll over and reach my phone smack heading to the corner of the bedside table. Cue much swearing, waking up MRSC, who is asking what has happened whilst I clutch my forehead . Remove hand from forehead. Hand is covered in blood. Yes I hit my head hard enough on the wooden cabinet to split it open
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 December, 2021, 07:08:18 pm
You know how, like, you do a weekly shop, yeah, and you bung your bags on the kitchen table but then nip back out again to move your motor-car because it's, like, parked on a double-yellow and then you come back in, yeah, and like totally forget to put your nosh in the fridge until dinner-time the next day?

Yes, exactly like that…

Bonus points for leaving the bag of chilled Stuffs on the end of the table that's about six inches from the radiator :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 December, 2021, 07:17:05 pm
How do you manage to stay out of the kitchen for a whole day? <belly rumbles>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 December, 2021, 07:23:28 pm
I went into the kitchen a Several of times, including to fetch Fizzy Pop from the other fridge and make Brown Drink.  Without milk.  Had I not stuffed myself with vast quantities of leftover goose yesterday lunchtime I might have been hungry and/or in need of tea'n'biscuits last night, but I did so I wasn’t chiz.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 December, 2021, 06:37:48 pm
Meandering around an event in darkest Surrey, there's a booth selling meat pies and soup, emitting the odour of pure and meaty stew. Not an unpleasant odour in a winter eve, for sure, but I question its aphrodisiacal qualities for any partner of the young lady in the booth doing the serving. So, being me, I say to my wife next to me: 'if she goes home smelling like that every that, I wonder if her partner gets starts to get turned on by the smell of meat pies?'

'I really don't think that's likely to happen,' says the well-spoken young lady standing next to me, who most evidently isn't my wife.

To be fair, my wife had wandered off to take a picture of something and it was very dark. So anyway, Eau de Bisto isn't going to do it for you in the bedroom, the people of Surrey have spoken.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 December, 2021, 11:10:10 pm
What kind of a feckin' div would leave iTunes running on the Babbage-Engine downstairs while also running it all afternoon and evening upstairs, thereby preventing its database from updating?

<== That kind of a feckin' div
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: rr on 01 January, 2022, 01:23:00 am
I wonder if this lithium ion cell I have extracted from this battery pack is protected, I know I'll measure its length.
Reaches for digital calipers.
Brain engages, puts them back down and reaches for plastic ruler.

Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jaded on 01 January, 2022, 01:51:54 am
Staying in the  house in York, in the guest bedroom.
Room has been neatly set up fresh bedding, a bedside table bedside lamp. Lovely. Middle of the night rotten with cold. Cold. I roll over and reach my phone smack heading to the corner of the bedside table. Cue much swearing, waking up MRSC, who is asking what has happened whilst I clutch my forehead . Remove hand from forehead. Hand is covered in blood. Yes I hit my head hard enough on the wooden cabinet to split it open

Hope the cabinet is fixable.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 01 January, 2022, 11:04:51 am
First ride of the year this morning (obv) - planned to ride the Van Nic Ti road bike as I fitted the raceblades a couple of weeks ago . . .  got about 5 miles and realised I was on the Van Nic Ti tourer  ???    OK, they both have the same (lack of) paint job but I thought I'd notice  ???   

To cap it all, having left in dull-to-watery-sun it started to rain when I was 10 miles from home - and, of course, as it's so mild no waterproofs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 02 January, 2022, 11:01:58 am
Move aside, amateurs.

I was having issues with my ears in foreigns, and acquired for myself eardrops, for the use of. The bottle has a cap, with separate dropper, which I remove along with the destructions which I amuse myself with for a while, reading in French and German because I can, and Italian because I can't really. Time to put them in. Get the bottle and remove cap. What is this? A drippy plastic nozzle? Why then a dropper? I'll try the drippy plastic nozzle. It doesn't work very well, that must be why the dropper is provided as well.  Remove the plastic dripper, it is a struggle but possible, and the dropper fits. Ah yes! Proper drops! Squeeze them in! Yay! let it soak. Best do it again, a few hours later, after all, my ears aren't very good. I'll be tidy and put the bottle back on the shelf now. But what is this? A box with the name of the eardrops WITH a full, capped bottle in? Oh. So the bottle with the  plastic dripper was the baby's cough medicine, and marked as such? That explains much.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 02 January, 2022, 01:47:59 pm
But you probably haven't coughed out of your ears, and it's not as bad as feeding the baby your eardrops  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 02 January, 2022, 02:11:28 pm
Some years ago, my aged parents managed to mix up my dad's meds with the dog's ones.
Naturally, they were more concerned about the dog.

In a panic, mother dear said 'But who should we call; the doctor or the vet?'
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 January, 2022, 12:05:53 am
What kind of a divvy divster reinstalls Windows and a metric fuckton of drivers, programs and Stuffs without making a note of the Babbage-Engine's steering wheel settings?

<== That kind.  Now it’s all horrid and juddery and doesn’t do the powered self-centring like an old-skool Citroën with DIRAVI (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DIRAVI).  Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 January, 2022, 12:10:06 am
*vaguely wonders if a Babbage-engine thus equipped can be used to swerve around the shitverts as you attempt to read the Brizzle Post's webby SCIENCE*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 05 January, 2022, 01:15:04 am
Sounds like a project  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 January, 2022, 11:44:14 am
What kind of a divvy divster reinstalls Windows and a metric fuckton of drivers, programs and Stuffs without making a note of the Babbage-Engine's steering wheel settings?

<== That kind.  Now it’s all horrid and juddery and doesn’t do the powered self-centring like an old-skool Citroën with DIRAVI (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DIRAVI).  Bah!
This unit was confused by the above mishmash of Babbage-Engine and motorcar related WORDS until he rememberer that Mr Larrington likes to sit in his back bedroom making motorcar noises while pretending to race around the automobile racing tracks of the world as rendered on the screen of said Babbage-engine. I believe that to enrichen the experience the use of a pretend steering wheel has been added to the ensemble, no? Haz it pedals as well?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 January, 2022, 12:40:36 pm
Nononono! Mr Larrington likes to drive virtual lorries around the roads of Europe even unto the borders of Tartary and the Kingdom of Prester John, South America, USAnia and divers other odd places for e.g. bits of Transmuralia.  And yes, the said steering wheel does have pedals.  Anna gear stick.  An' lots of buttons.  Anna electro-thingtronic display that you can only read if you’re a midget or a contortionist.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 January, 2022, 01:35:50 am
What kind of a divvy divster reinstalls Windows and a metric fuckton of drivers, programs and Stuffs without making a note of the Babbage-Engine's steering wheel settings?

<== That kind.  Now it’s all horrid and juddery and doesn’t do the powered self-centring like an old-skool Citroën with DIRAVI (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DIRAVI).  Bah!

Hurrah!  Sorted it!

And stored the details inna file wot gets backed up proper-like on a regular basis.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 January, 2022, 08:49:09 am
Well, that was a mistake. I followed a link to a jobs website and only went and entered my email address in a box when asked to do so. I don’t think I’ve ever encounter such an aggressive spam response before. Ok, it all seems to be job related and all the proffered jobs appear to be relevant but come on, do you really think I’m going to read the 35 emails you’ve sent me in the past 10 hours or so!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 08 January, 2022, 10:21:41 am
What kind of a divvy divster reinstalls Windows and a metric fuckton of drivers, programs and Stuffs without making a note of the Babbage-Engine's steering wheel settings?

<== That kind.  Now it’s all horrid and juddery and doesn’t do the powered self-centring like an old-skool Citroën with DIRAVI (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DIRAVI).  Bah!

Hurrah!  Sorted it!

And stored the details inna file wot gets backed up proper-like on a regular basis.

I have had similar pain, a large spreadsheet with a lot of power pivot measures decided to just stop working. Didn't take me as long as I thought to recreate, but one tab now has a table of all the measures written out so I don't have to try and remember again. Plus bonus, I managed to get a function to work that had me scratching my head previously
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 January, 2022, 11:56:31 am
I had already noted the settings for the video card, as well as the in-game ones for the wheel and graphics (which are stored in easily accessible and heavily backed-up plain text files anyway), but not those from the wheel's settings in its own configuration wossname, because div.

I did have them for the decommissioned Logitech one now forming its own Teetering Pile of CrapTM on the landing :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 08 January, 2022, 11:56:44 am
Well, that was a mistake. I followed a link to a jobs website and only went and entered my email address in a box when asked to do so. I don’t think I’ve ever encounter such an aggressive spam response before. Ok, it all seems to be job related and all the proffered jobs appear to be relevant but come on, do you really think I’m going to read the 35 emails you’ve sent me in the past 10 hours or so!

There is a simple solution to control emails:  buy a cheapie domain and "seed" the email addresses that you give to subscribe/buy stuff etc.  Just use, for example, the company name@mydomain  (as examples I have johnlewis@mydomain and tesco@mydomain)   

Set up a catch-all email to deliver all mails to your email client - you can then control incoming mails and set filters . . . examples:

bloggoproducts@mydomain   - that's OK accept the messages and allow them through
possiblyproducts@mydomain  - accept them but set a direct on the client to file in a folder (I have one that redirects all the incoming circulars I receive from, e.g. PlanetX, Axminster Tools, ALDI etc)
crappoproducts@mydomain  - don't want those - set a filter to "delete at server" - or a redirect .... I usually use fuckoff@aol.com and the message fires off into the ether

The filters can also work on the sender and the subject line to redirect/destroy/allow through

I've been doing this for probably 15 years and for the modest annual cost of the domain it cuts the crap emails.   It works with the likes of Outlook and the client I use on my PC (Time & Chaos Intellect) as well as IONOS mail.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 09 January, 2022, 09:20:11 pm
First date with a very nice woman from work. We arrange to meet at the Aviary Cafe in Jephson Gardens in Leamington. The agreed time comes and I'm there a few minutes early outside a closed cafe. Only it's NOT the Aviary Cafe. This dawns on me after a few minutes and I hurry round to the correct place a couple of minutes walk away to find her waiting patiently. Eejit! She was obligingly forgiving and excellent company.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 09 January, 2022, 11:16:21 pm
First date with a very nice woman from work. We arrange to meet at the Aviary Cafe in Jephson Gardens in Leamington. The agreed time comes and I'm there a few minutes early outside a closed cafe. Only it's NOT the Aviary Cafe. This dawns on me after a few minutes and I hurry round to the correct place a couple of minutes walk away to find her waiting patiently. Eejit! She was obligingly forgiving and excellent company.
Feels like this story might slide into a good news thread…
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 January, 2022, 03:43:38 pm
Using C.A. glue in my office, which is a 3m x 2 side-room off our bedroom.

Opened window and hung head out when my eyes started smarting.  Looked at bottle: "do not inhale fumes".

Oh. Right.  I knew that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 January, 2022, 04:06:21 pm
Reminds me of Basingstoke in the early 80s!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 January, 2022, 04:16:50 pm
My school cycle route took me past a Belfast factory that would let fly a cloud of sulphur dioxide every so often. 100-yard anoxic sprint.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 14 January, 2022, 05:38:04 pm
Quite flammable too I think.  Defo best used outside.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2022, 08:50:32 pm
One of the things I really miss about the lab is the smell of organic solvents in the morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 14 January, 2022, 08:58:34 pm
I don't miss the headaches.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2022, 09:10:04 pm
If you drink them I'm reliably informed they go away.

I'm trying to remember my favourite. I went off toluene and it was omnipresent in scintillation fluid. Esters and ethers were always fun. I hated dimethylsulfoxide, but who can resist the finger test. Pyridine, yuk, as per any of the thiols, and polyamines (you can probably guess what spermine and putrescine smell like).

My PhD supervisor was a bit mad and we banned his favourite hobby of paper chromatography (which involves giant tanks of solvent), so he took those huge tanks into his tiny office where he could recreate the best experiments of 1948 in peace. He didn't get many visitors.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 14 January, 2022, 09:38:17 pm
...paper chromatography (which involves giant tanks of solvent)...

In basically a large cupboard at the top of the building with no ventilation  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2022, 09:57:17 pm
To be fair, I think he was having more fun than we were in the HPLC room with boring old TCA and acetonitrile.

MALDI-TOF MS had boring solvents too, but it did feature a big nitrogen laser and a button that said REFLECTRON mode (it turned on an ion mirror which sounds far more fun than the reality).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 January, 2022, 09:46:43 am
Decide to fit new freehub last night.

Decide to do this at a bench rather than on the floor, to save my knees.

Remove axle carefully.

Pickout bearings - they are a bit reluctant, being stuck with grease. Decide to be clever, and use a magnet, I have some strong round ones.

This works well, and I am congratulating myself. Right up until I catch the string of bearings against hub, 2 bearings fall off.

I find one of two dropped bearings. My packets of spares are in York.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: woollypigs on 24 January, 2022, 02:07:40 pm
I installed a program in terminal and was going bunkers to why the F!! I couldn't find the newly install program in the list of programs.

I just found out why ... I used the terminal that was connected to the remote raspberry pi ...

doh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 25 January, 2022, 01:09:38 pm
I need to change the ethernet cable to my WiFi AP, as it is likely suspect.

I quote from the Ubiquity manual

Quote
Locking Tab During installation, the Locking Tab on the Mounting Bracket moves from the Initial Position to the Final Position, where the Locking Tab fits securely into the Locking
Notch on the UniFi AP to help prevent theft.

Note: If you need to remove the UniFi AP from the Mounting Bracket, insert a paper clip in the Slot to release the Locking Tab and turn the UniFi AP counterclockwise.

That is, unless you have fitted the unit tight to the top  :facepalm:

I think I may just fit a new RJ45 to the cable end  and hope for the best.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 January, 2022, 08:05:17 pm
*vaguely wonders if a Babbage-engine thus equipped can be used to swerve around the shitverts as you attempt to read the Brizzle Post's webby SCIENCE*
Oh Kim Kim Kim, I can give you a daily digest of the best bits of the Brizzle Post. Here is today's: And tomorrow's: And next tomorrow and all the days hereafter: .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 25 January, 2022, 08:32:59 pm
NullPointerException
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 26 January, 2022, 08:23:58 am
NullPointerException

Luxurious system, that. The machines I worked on back in whenever would happily let you piss all over page zero then hang without even a dying peep.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 January, 2022, 03:22:48 pm
Hang on, has the Bristol Post sent an entry to the Eurovision Song Contest?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2022, 03:24:59 pm
That's NilPointerException, which is an important semantic difference usually illustrated with bogroll...

(https://i.stack.imgur.com/T9M2J.png)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 08 February, 2022, 07:47:05 am
Nearly me

Tuesday is our busy day with pre school maths club for eldest and wife working so I made a chilli for the slow cooker last night

This morning switched it on

Except I'd actually turned the electric tooth charger on and hadn't plugged the slow cooker in

Thankfully noticed before leaving for work

(Just to clarify we have a downstairs bathroom with no power sockets so charging the toothbrush in the kitchen is normal for us)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 February, 2022, 09:07:35 am
That's NilPointerException, which is an important semantic difference usually illustrated with bogroll...

I don't know much about computing and only just enough about words to bullshit semiconvincingly, but I am old enough to remember "Norvege nul points":
Quote
Norway has the dubious distinction of finishing last in the Eurovision final more than any other country, and along with Austria, has received "nul points" (zero points) in the contest on four occasions; in 1963, 1978, 1981 and 1997.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norway_in_the_Eurovision_Song_Contest
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 February, 2022, 11:40:17 am
See also: Nul Points by Tim Moore, in which the author tracks down the artistes awards that coveted score, with hilarious consequences.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 February, 2022, 10:08:20 am
Yesterday:  my second-best coffee halt is at a patisserie where they have a tall table right in the window where I can sit and keep an eye on my bike.  There are two bar-stools side by side at this table, swivelling with half-hoop footrests for you to hook your heels into. Only cycling shoes do not have heels.

So there am I ensconced with my right heel on the footrest of the neighbouring stool and the other foot dangling in the void.  I suppose the edge of my stool must have been restricting circulation in the dangling leg, because half a second after my right foot slipped right through the footrest of the other stool my left hamstring cramped like a bastard, so that I reflexively shot the leg out straight to counter it.

And slid off my stool.

Fortunately the table was solidly anchored, so I could grab onto it and untangle myself with nobody noticing. Coffee was unscathed; honour was saved.

I wish I had the video, though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 February, 2022, 05:21:22 pm
After an hour or so of faffage involving installing drivers, downloading and installing MOAR drivers, doing a system restore or two and swearing profusely I discovered that the reason I'm not getting any sound out of the squeakers in the Estate Office was because the bastard optical cable had come out at the amplifier end.  Optical cables were designed, by a bastard made of piss, to fall into the dark and unwelcoming cavity under the desk, where lurk the Dust Bunnies of Unusual Size >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 16 February, 2022, 06:42:47 pm

I ordered a load of batteries from an online battery shop. I mostly needed some Lithium AAA batteries. The rest were just to get better value out of the €4 shipping.

The package arrived today.

The €14 pack of batteries I thought were AAA? AA.

FFS.

Return shipping will be €4. Then I'd have to buy the right ones, and pay another €4 shipping.

fnnnnngh

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 February, 2022, 09:09:02 pm

I ordered a load of batteries from an online battery shop. I mostly needed some Lithium AAA batteries. The rest were just to get better value out of the €4 shipping.

The package arrived today.

The €14 pack of batteries I thought were AAA? AA.

FFS.

Return shipping will be €4. Then I'd have to buy the right ones, and pay another €4 shipping.

fnnnnngh

J
lothium batteries have a long shelf life, pop them on a shelf until you need them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 17 February, 2022, 12:47:36 am
lothium batteries have a long shelf life, pop them on a shelf until you need them.

Of course. I just don't own many things that uses AA batteries... My hope vision 1 light, but that uses rechargeables.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 February, 2022, 02:59:50 pm
Why did it took until I was interviewing a people (virtually, obv) and switched on my camera to realise that I had my shirt on inside out?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 18 February, 2022, 03:17:10 pm
Ah, the old 'Interviewer making an idiot of themselves' trick!

When I was being interviewed for my first job, as an electronics maintenance engineer for an oilfield-related company, I had made it into the 'second round', where they took you down to the lab and gave you some practical tests: can you solder? can you work a multimeter and scope? that kind of thing.

The lab supervisor handed me an open-frame module with lots of exposed parts, and asked me what I thought it might be.
It was clearly a simple linear power supply: A transformer, bridge rectifier, and some big caps.
I take hold of it *very* carefully.

"What voltage do you think it might produce?" he asks.
Looking at the voltage rating on the big caps, I see they are rated at something like 2000v.
So I guess "something between 1000 and 1500v or so".
Quite right.

I hand it back, and he grasps it carelessly.
Whomp! and is thrown back off his wheely chair into a snotty heap on the ground.
A suppressed grin and a raised eyebrow from me, and I have the job.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 18 February, 2022, 03:36:49 pm
Why did it took until I was interviewing a people (virtually, obv) and switched on my camera to realise that I had my shirt on inside out?

I think it's possible to reverse the image you send (in some programmes at least) the logo on your shirt will appear the right way round, albeit faded...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 18 February, 2022, 03:55:52 pm
Why did it took until I was interviewing a people (virtually, obv) and switched on my camera to realise that I had my shirt on inside out?
That's very Joanna Lumley.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 19 February, 2022, 06:05:13 am
I had an internal interview during a week I was on holiday, but at home. Wandering about in the house sans t-shaped shirt generally, but for some reason I decided that I would wear one that day.  luckily it turned out as my webcam came on automagically as I started the call, finding a panel of 4 at the other end
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 19 February, 2022, 08:36:05 am
Unpacking this morning's delivery of toothy comestibles, I dropped a heavy, hard thing on yhe end of my second toe, which is now going purple and throbbing in a very cartoonish manner  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 26 February, 2022, 12:52:39 pm
Today Igot my chainsaw out in earnest for the first time in a couple of years. Couldn’t get the damn thing started.  That’ll be because I’d put the choke in using the kill switch  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 26 February, 2022, 03:59:41 pm
Logging in here, 2 minutes ago.  Entered the first 2 characters of the password and was surprised when the computer couldn't read my mind for the rest of it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 26 February, 2022, 04:38:58 pm
T'other day at work looked at my watch and on stopwatch showing 0000. Scroll back to time and 1200 and about 15 seconds. Bugger thinks me I've whacked it hard enough to reset. Goes back to computer to check the time and......its about a minute past midday. I hadn't wacked it, it was just 1200 and some seconds
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 28 February, 2022, 01:11:27 pm
I bought one of those adhesive camera signs to attach to my pannier. I spent a while making sure it was in the right place and that it would not block the catches.

Yes, I put it on the wrong end! Totally invisible to all following traffic but glad to say it still seems to work as I had no close passes!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 02 March, 2022, 01:26:05 pm
Rushing to put new cables on bike. Struggling to cut the outers with my (small plier's size) snips, I decide to use angle grinder.

Cuts well - but a few seconds after the cut, the plastic outer melts, ends go spoing.

Fortunately, I've been generous with measurements, so I can cut off bad bit. Get aggressive with snips and do perfect clean cuts. Div.

Fit front. Fine

Go to fit rear.

The new innner is too short by about 15cm. For a bit I wonder if I was the world's greatest div, and I've fitted rear cable on front. Check pack, instructions. Nope. Both the same. Just wrong effing size for my perfectly normal road bike.

A bit of fighting and I put new outer on old cable. Not very free running, because the old inners are bigger than jagwire.

FFS YOU IDIOT WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BY THE SHIMANO REPLACEMENTS?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 March, 2022, 11:20:35 am
When you're making an orange and poppy seed cake it helps if you put the poppy seeds in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 04 March, 2022, 11:34:01 am
In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TimC on 04 March, 2022, 12:10:31 pm
In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

It really doesn't!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 March, 2022, 12:21:03 pm
In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

It really doesn't!

You could use kippers instead - much cheaper and just as tasty!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 March, 2022, 01:41:47 pm
Put the air fryer's outer basket in the left sink of our double, swivelled the tap over it then reached in with my left hand and ran the water, completely oblivious of the fact that this had brought my arm directly under the spout. Sweater's still soggy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 09 March, 2022, 09:33:23 pm

Been trying to find a small solar panel I got for a project. Have been looking on and off for a couple of weeks.

Today I found it.

In a plant pot.

I've no fucking clue...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 10 March, 2022, 08:44:08 am
In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

Or roast aubergine and shallots instead of the haddock, it's a river cottage vegereee recipe and bloody delicious
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 10 March, 2022, 09:10:04 am
In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

Or roast aubergine and shallots instead of the haddock, it's a river cottage vegereee recipe and bloody delicious
Oooooo. Yum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 March, 2022, 08:33:06 pm
Not really kedgeree in that case is it? More a case of rice with stuff in it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 11 March, 2022, 01:24:02 pm
You know that thing where the milk is on the turn and curdles as soon as you add it to your coffee? Unfortunately, I didn't notice it this morning until after I'd taken a mouthful...

Cheese-flavoured coffee. Yum.  :sick: :sick: :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 March, 2022, 01:47:23 pm
Not really kedgeree in that case is it? More a case of rice with stuff in it?

It will be if you chuck in an anchor.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 11 March, 2022, 02:34:35 pm
Not really kedgeree in that case is it? More a case of rice with stuff in it?

Maybe not true kedgeree but its more then just rice with stuff in as the veg is roasted in the curry powder. It's  bloody delicious and will be emailing the recipe to hatler and happy to do the same if you want
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 11 March, 2022, 06:59:28 pm
please do, i have no issue with veggie food, quite like it a lot of the time and have definitely cut back on meat in the last few years.

Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices (https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices) "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 11 March, 2022, 07:26:13 pm
Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices (https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices) "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't  >:(

Have you ever tried jackfruit? Vegans may imagine it tastes just the same as meat. It doesn't.

There are plenty of nicer (and cheaper) ingredients you can use to stand in for meat that aren't pretending to be meat and are all the better for it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Socks on 11 March, 2022, 07:41:10 pm
Slightly off topic.  We occasionally look after a charming little dog who is a cross between a Jack Russell and a Shitsue.  So a Jackshit (as opposed to a jackfruit).  Thoroughly recommended.  Although I can't speak for jackfruit, which I've never tried.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 March, 2022, 08:38:08 pm
Vacon? I'm sure we've done the story of Quorn, but it's a good one.

Jackfruit is, well, jackfruit. It's quite common as, well, jackfruit in Indonesia and thereabouts (as curries, but also candied in dessert, and in those weird drink-desserts of Indonesia). It's fine as, well, jackfruit. It's not chicken.

Anyway is vacon any good? I don't eat pig, but I do like a fry up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 11 March, 2022, 08:50:01 pm
I like jackfruit, but sell it to me as good vegetarian food, not fake meat, same with tempeh, great stuff, but its not chicken
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 March, 2022, 09:01:42 pm
I'm down with that. I've had some good jackfruit curries in Indonesia and the Philippines (though in the latter case my brain caught fire).

Es Teler was what I was thinking of (I had forgotten the avocado), they do some weird stuff out there. Cendol is odd too. Chewy drinks for the, erm, win.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 11 March, 2022, 09:10:44 pm
I like jackfruit, but sell it to me as good vegetarian food, not fake meat, same with tempeh, great stuff, but its not chicken

Exactly!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 11 March, 2022, 10:30:22 pm
You know that thing where the milk is on the turn and curdles as soon as you add it to your coffee? Unfortunately, I didn't notice it this morning until after I'd taken a mouthful...

Cheese-flavoured coffee. Yum.  :sick: :sick: :sick:

That's because you're doing it wrong - or so northern Scandinavian types would have it.  :demon:

https://coffeeaffection.com/cheese-in-coffee/

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 11 March, 2022, 11:50:18 pm
I dislike the various meat substitutes that Ms Beardy the younger eats; I’ll eat meat or I won’t. However, I’m not at all keen on any of the vegan meals I’ve ever eaten out in her company, there’s no real texture and the flavours just don’t work for me. I do eat the food she prepares (or when we’re vegan restauranting) but I’ve yet to actually enjoy any of it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 March, 2022, 12:18:00 am
You know that thing where the milk is on the turn and curdles as soon as you add it to your coffee? Unfortunately, I didn't notice it this morning until after I'd taken a mouthful...

Cheese-flavoured coffee. Yum.  :sick: :sick: :sick:

That's because you're doing it wrong - or so northern Scandinavian types would have it.  :demon:

https://coffeeaffection.com/cheese-in-coffee/

That has done nothing to dispel the notion that the Finns are A Bit Strange.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 March, 2022, 12:33:38 am
*Humans* are a bit strange...

Quote from: Becky Chambers
Roveg couldn’t suss out the sliver of tension that had entered the gathering, but he didn’t like it. Moreover, the way this round robin was going, the next question was going to focus on where he was headed, and that, he didn’t want. He swooped in, reaching for lighter fare. ‘You know, on the subject of Humans, there’s something I’ve long wanted to ask someone about.’ He paused in thought. ‘Cheese. Is that a real thing?’
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 March, 2022, 01:27:42 am
Those names… Ouloo and Tupo sound a bit, well, Finnish :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 March, 2022, 12:36:28 pm
Put bags in tea-mugs, boiled water, wet the tea, started timer.

Timer beeped, got milk out of fridge, went over to mugs, pulled out bags, put milk back in fridge.

Back to mugs... duh: didn't put any milk in.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 12 March, 2022, 01:38:43 pm
Put bags in tea-mugs, boiled water, wet the tea, started timer.

Timer beeped, got milk out of fridge, went over to mugs, pulled out bags, put milk back in fridge.

Back to mugs... duh: didn't put any milk in.

At least you didn’t “tidy” the washing up liquid into the fridge, like my wife did  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 March, 2022, 02:55:01 pm
Put bags in tea-mugs, boiled water, wet the tea, started timer.

Timer beeped, got milk out of fridge, went over to mugs, pulled out bags, put milk back in fridge.

Back to mugs... duh: didn't put any milk in.

At least you didn’t “tidy” the washing up liquid into the fridge, like my wife did  ::-)

That's for the next phase.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 23 March, 2022, 02:17:59 pm
Firstly for forgetting that I have an app on my phone that lets me into my router without a password because face recognition (i wanted to check the WiFi password).  Secondly, having uneccessarily reset the router because I couldn't remember the password, for forgetting the default password to get back in is "admin"  ::-) (ETA - no,it isn’t  :-\ ETAM - but it is “vodafone” I eventually discovered)

Fortunately I only use it as a modem and all the devices (bar 1 Garmin, the reason for wanting to check the password in the first place) connect via a Deco mesh, that being connected by ethernet to the router.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Blade on 29 March, 2022, 05:46:57 pm
I've been a cyclist for many decades, and have owned my Chorus equipped 'best' bike for 12 years.

I've often complained to myself that whenever I need to remove the front wheel I have to slacken off the adjuster on the front brake so that the tyre passes between the brake blocks.

Today I discovered that Campagnolo brake levers have a secret button which slackens off the brake cable to enable you to remove a wheel easily.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 March, 2022, 05:50:56 pm
I look forward to the day that Brompton discover such a feature...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 29 March, 2022, 07:25:17 pm
I've been a cyclist for many decades, and have owned my Chorus equipped 'best' bike for 12 years.

I've often complained to myself that whenever I need to remove the front wheel I have to slacken off the adjuster on the front brake so that the tyre passes between the brake blocks.

Today I discovered that Campagnolo brake levers have a secret button which slackens off the brake cable to enable you to remove a wheel easily.  :facepalm:

Yep, just like Shimano have a small lever on the caliper to accomplish the same thing.  Just remember to reverse the operation before riding….
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 March, 2022, 08:15:37 pm
I've been a cyclist for many decades, and have owned my Chorus equipped 'best' bike for 12 years.

I've often complained to myself that whenever I need to remove the front wheel I have to slacken off the adjuster on the front brake so that the tyre passes between the brake blocks.

Today I discovered that Campagnolo brake levers have a secret button which slackens off the brake cable to enable you to remove a wheel easily.  :facepalm:

Yep, just like Shimano have a small lever on the caliper to accomplish the same thing.  Just remember to reverse the operation before riding….

Yoiu've done it as well I assume :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 29 March, 2022, 08:27:10 pm
On both group sets  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 01 April, 2022, 11:22:22 pm


This is a Lipo charge controller circuit I designed and built myself. I'm rather pleased with it. It works really well.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FPQ7S7AXMAY51nD?format=jpg&name=large)

Except... today I discovered a small design flaw. On one side of the board there is a 2.54mm pin header. On the other side of the board there is a JST connector. The polarity of which each is the opposite of each other. When I designed it, I even labelled the pins.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FPQ_acVXsAo7ulf?format=jpg&name=large)

Notice, the labels on the one I haven't assembled yet...

Turns out with the JST in place, there is no label visible for the 2.54mm pin header...

Guess which idiot plugged a lipo in the wrong way round while holding the board?

Guess who now has a blister/burn on her thumb that is the exact size of and shape of the under voltage protection chip...

I think on the next revision of the board I'm gonna label on both sides of the board...

I'm also learning lots of things I didn't realise I use my thumb for...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 April, 2022, 11:25:00 pm
Notice, the labels on the one I haven't assembled yet...

Turns out with the JST in place, there is no label visible for the 2.54mm pin header...

This is the PCB design equivalent of not threading the cable through the cover / strain relief before making the connections.  Or emptying the u-bend into the sink you just removed it from.  We've all done it, and when the memory of the last time fades, will probably do it again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 02 April, 2022, 07:10:41 am
Need to remember that when I go out to ye shedde for a turbo trainer session, I still need to wear my cycling shoes, not my wellies as I did yesterday
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 02 April, 2022, 09:53:54 am
Rewrapping one side of the bars so as to shift some badly-positioned gel underlay, I discovered that the top layer was adhesive on both sides and that the trouble came from the gel pad underneath it.  While I removed this, I stuck the top layer by one end onto the frame of the mitre saw behind me.  Having repositioned the bottom layer, I turned round to find the horribly sticky top bit lying on the floor in a pile of sawdust.

I really ought to sweep the workshop floor at least once a year.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 April, 2022, 05:50:44 pm
“Well,” said Mr Larrington, “at least I shan’t need the TwatNav on the way home from exotic Colchester this arvo!”  Before sailing gaily past the exit off the A12 for the M25 and having to grind through the roundabouts and traffic lights of suburbia.

Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 02 April, 2022, 06:46:43 pm
The A12 betwixt the M25 and Hackney is a horrid road and I feel your pain. That said, the A12 betwixt Colchester and the M25 is also a horrid road, albeit without the added traffic light and roundabout pain.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 April, 2022, 06:58:55 pm
The A12 is less horrid once you get west of the Redbridge roundabout but to get to Larrington Towers requires baling at Gaaaants 'ill and taking the A1400 to Charlie Brown’s roundabout instead.  Both Mr Google and the TwatNav reckoned the sensible route was A406-M11-M25-A12 even if it’s longer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 06 April, 2022, 09:05:49 pm
Last week I bought some Superglue.  When I unpacked the shopping I couldn’t find it.
I’ve just found it. In the fridge…. Between the Gruyère & the Comte… :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 April, 2022, 09:45:03 pm
Good place to keep it, stays fresher that way
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 07 April, 2022, 11:41:01 am
Last week I bought some Superglue.  When I unpacked the shopping I couldn’t find it.
I’ve just found it. In the fridge…. Between the Gruyère & the Comte… :facepalm:
stuck?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 April, 2022, 11:56:39 am
I like jackfruit, but sell it to me as good vegetarian food, not fake meat, same with tempeh, great stuff, but its not chicken

Exactly!
A new falafel place opened up near us a few months back (falafel is the thing here, we're soooo over avocado) called Jack the Falafel. Like Jack the Lad, I assumed, ha ha, how funny. Or perhaps it's run by someone actually called Jack. No. It is of course a reference to jackfruit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 07 April, 2022, 07:36:37 pm
I'm making dinner, carbonara.
I bring the food waste caddy over to the worktop so I can deposit the egg shells in it without making a mess.
I break open the first egg shell and neatly put it straight into the food waste caddy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 14 April, 2022, 11:55:44 am
Coming back home on my beater yesterday (this is the one I am experimenting with buying a cheap bike and carrying out zero maintenance, beyond a quick GT40 squirt), dismount and wheel onto the forecourt. I always listen for birds to see if they have set up home the the eaves, they shouldn't in ours because I have all holes filled, but do in the neighbours with consequent birdshit issues.

I can hear them! Stop, let me see if I can see where they are flying in. Nope can't. Carry on - they they are again. Stop. So do they. Push the bike a bit more .... Oh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 April, 2022, 12:43:47 pm
I'm making dinner, carbonara.
I bring the food waste caddy over to the worktop so I can deposit the egg shells in it without making a mess.
I break open the first egg shell and neatly put it straight into the food waste caddy.

First cappuccino I ever made I ran the espresso straight into the drip tray while frothing the milk.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 April, 2022, 01:26:24 pm
Took the bike for the train commute on Friday last week, got a puncture on the way to the station. Didn't have my repair kit with me, having become accustomed to not needing it, so that meant a mad run to the station to make it in time for the train, then walking with the bike to the office.

Left it there over the weekend, and brought my repair kit with me on Monday so I could fix it. Only I forgot my pump. Tried to repair it anyway, then took the bike along to Evans during my lunch break so I could use their pump to reinflate the wheel. Which is when I discovered that the repair wasn't holding.

Ended up leaving it with them so they could sort it for me. Cost me £15!!! I thoroughly resent paying that much for a puncture repair, but can't really blame anyone except myself.

Riding home on Monday evening, the bike was fine until a couple of miles from home, when the handling started to feel very strange indeed. Oh, FFS... *both* tyres at the same time?

Luckily, the deflations were slow enough that I could just about complete the ride home without walking, though it felt very strange to ride.

Really need to fit better tyres.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: canny colin on 01 May, 2022, 05:13:06 pm
Popped up on the upright trike  to Stonehaugh in Geordieshire  for a little reconnaissance . On the way to Wark the rear offside tyre goes flat . Big hole in the side wall . No problem I will get The spare emergency tyre out the  carradice tardis bag . But some numpty has left the tyre on the bench at home , when the idiot reorganised their bag . 
Blooming heck my shoulders are knackered after riding over 20 odd kilometres  balanced on two wheels .     
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 May, 2022, 06:45:28 pm
Blooming heck my shoulders are knackered after riding over 20 odd kilometres  balanced on two wheels .   

Chapeau!  That's a bailout strategy that I'd never considered.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 01 May, 2022, 07:50:02 pm
That, mate, is impressive.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 01 May, 2022, 10:05:57 pm
On the club ride last week I stopped to take off my gilet but struggled.

“what’s the problem?” I was asked.

“I’m trying to take of my gilet but leave my jacket on”

“But you’re not wearing a gilet”

When I got home said gilet was still on the chair :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 03 May, 2022, 09:34:27 am
Turned up at work today at 8am for a 9.45am shift. It's going to be a long day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 04 May, 2022, 04:17:06 pm
Is it OK if I post here on behalf of my wife?

I got a parking charge notice from Euro Car Parks this morning. The time and date corresponds with when she went out to meet up with her friend at Shorne Woods. But I paid via the app! quoth she - and indeed, she has the receipt on her phone to prove it.

No worries, just give me a screen grab of it and I'll go through the rigmarole of submitting an appeal via the ECP website...

After I'd submitted it, I checked the details on the receipt out of idle curiosity... and it turns out she paid to park in a different car park 20 miles away.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 May, 2022, 08:58:15 pm
I managed to accidentally drive through the tag only lane of Humber Bridge, new since I last went there, paid online the princely sum of £1.50. The "admin charge" for late payment is £15  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 May, 2022, 09:13:06 pm
Is it OK if I post here on behalf of my wife?

I got a parking charge notice from Euro Car Parks this morning. The time and date corresponds with when she went out to meet up with her friend at Shorne Woods. But I paid via the app! quoth she - and indeed, she has the receipt on her phone to prove it.

No worries, just give me a screen grab of it and I'll go through the rigmarole of submitting an appeal via the ECP website...

After I'd submitted it, I checked the details on the receipt out of idle curiosity... and it turns out she paid to park in a different car park 20 miles away.  :facepalm:

I'm a technically competent person, but I come from a time when to pay for parking you put coins in a machine and it either:
a) gave you a ticket, with that special adhesive that was really hard to clean off your car window, but would cause the ticket to fall off 5 minutes before the traffic warden came round
b) let you out through a barrier

I drive so infrequently that whenever I encounter one of these 21st century ways of paying for parking I get extremely flustered.  Bonus points if it requires me to know the registration number of the car I've just been driving.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 04 May, 2022, 09:46:38 pm
I hate those machines that require registration number input.  The non qwerty keyboard is really difficult.  I don't think they exist round here anymore.
All the local parking machines are debit card tap, which is a good thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 04 May, 2022, 09:57:46 pm
Around here they use one of the fifty-two available parking apps, all different yet alike, that will require you to identify your car park from a list of 64 nearby or input a number that you can't find. Once you've done this and input your car's registration number you'll find that there's is almost a mobile signal. The result is that you'll spend another ten minutes in the car waving your phone around in the hope of attracting a confirmatory message from the ether.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 05 May, 2022, 05:19:15 am
I hate those machines that require registration number input.  The non qwerty keyboard is really difficult.  I don't think they exist round here anymore.
All the local parking machines are debit card tap, which is a good thing.
Had that issue when visiting an Ipswich car park in my husband’s car - the machine did not like the German registration number. No idea what we would do if we had a registration number with an Umlaut in, for example a Tübingen-registered car starts with Tü. Tu is something completely different.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 05 May, 2022, 07:18:03 am
I hate those machines that require registration number input.  The non qwerty keyboard is really difficult.  I don't think they exist round here anymore.
All the local parking machines are debit card tap, which is a good thing.
Had that issue when visiting an Ipswich car park in my husband’s car - the machine did not like the German registration number. No idea what we would do if we had a registration number with an Umlaut in, for example a Tübingen-registered car starts with Tü. Tu is something completely different.

I had a similar experience in Texas trying to buy "gas", to pay at pump needed a "zip" code, no recognition that my UK postcode starting EC3 was actually reall.  After much confusion the guy came out to help me, very friendly and turned out that in the middle of the West Texas desert I had stumbed across the one American who had heard of Ely and the village I live in, as he had been stationed here when in the USAF :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 May, 2022, 09:35:07 am
Most card payment machines in the US demand a ZIP code (I'm looking at you, MTA subway bot) – it's their basic card check algorithm. It's why I, to this day, remember my US zip codes. I even know the bit at the end that no American knows (this ZOG code). I'm not sure it's much of an algorithm though, since I've not lived at any of those addresses for a decade or two.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 05 May, 2022, 09:48:06 am
Isn't the Larrington Method, when hooning around the USA en route to Battle Mountain, to use the Zip code for the White House? Or is that a product of my fevered imagination?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: diapsaon0 on 05 May, 2022, 10:29:16 am
Back in the day when we had to write name and address on the back of a cheque, I often just wrote Maggie Thatcher, 10, Downing Street.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 May, 2022, 11:15:54 am
Isn't the Larrington Method, when hooning around the USA en route to Battle Mountain, to use the Zip code for the White House? Or is that a product of my fevered imagination?

I have tried that, also 90210 and whatever the ZIP code is for the Suoer 8 in Battle Mountain.  89something.  None of them work.  Canadians claim that the numeric part of your post code padded out with zeroes works.  It doesn’t.  A petril station cashier in Mesquite NV says you can get a Speshul Fake Code from your bank “which all the Canadian snowbirds use when they fly south for the winter”.  This may be true for Canuckistani banks but it ent for noble BRITISH ones.  They think you should have gone to Dorset instead, with its wonderful Bulbarrow Hills.  The Shell station on the main drag through Moab UT doesn’t ask for one, though, and nor does the one on US-395 in Bishop CA.  Very useful when you’re in North Dakota.

One day I shall not write a Scholarly Monograph on the subj. because there’s already an article on Wikinaccurate that tells you what data is stored in the magstrip on a credit/debit card.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 May, 2022, 11:41:52 am
You can have one of my old ones: CT06226. Never failed yet; though weirdly my VA one sometimes doesn't work. There can't be any connection between the cards and that ZIP, though, since I used different US-issued back then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 May, 2022, 12:19:41 pm
(Scribbles on Post-ItTM Note; sticks same in back of passport; watches passport disintegrate)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 05 May, 2022, 12:57:28 pm
I hate those machines that require registration number input.  The non qwerty keyboard is really difficult.  I don't think they exist round here anymore.
All the local parking machines are debit card tap, which is a good thing.

We have contactless (although it's choosy what cards it will accept) AND reg number entry. Bonus!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 05 May, 2022, 04:57:20 pm
(Scribbles on Post-ItTM Note; sticks same in back of passport; watches passport disintegrate)

You can find less combustible US zip codes here (https://www.unitedstateszipcodes.org/06226/).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 May, 2022, 05:11:14 pm
I'm a technically competent person, but I come from a time when to pay for parking you put coins in a machine and it either:
a) gave you a ticket, with that special adhesive that was really hard to clean off your car window, but would cause the ticket to fall off 5 minutes before the traffic warden came round
b) let you out through a barrier

I drive so infrequently that whenever I encounter one of these 21st century ways of paying for parking I get extremely flustered.  Bonus points if it requires me to know the registration number of the car I've just been driving.

My wife is a technically competent person too, and I feel a bit mean dobbing her in for this one - after all, there but for the grace etc.

Her mistake was to pay for the car park that the app presented to her, and not check that it corresponded with the car park she was in. The one she paid for was one she had visited about a year previously, so obviously that was the last one in her search history. Easy enough error to make.

Around here they use one of the fifty-two available parking apps, all different yet alike, that will require you to identify your car park from a list of 64 nearby or input a number that you can't find. Once you've done this and input your car's registration number you'll find that there's is almost a mobile signal. The result is that you'll spend another ten minutes in the car waving your phone around in the hope of attracting a confirmatory message from the ether.

There's a local car park that used to be free until fairly recently. Then suddenly signs appeared to say you had to pay, but no physical ticket machine, it all had to be done via Ringo or somesuch. Of course, this car park is in the middle of a remote woods with no residential area nearby, hence no mobile phone masts...  :facepalm:

On my most recent visit to this car park, it had reverted to being free.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 May, 2022, 08:14:33 pm
(Scribbles on Post-ItTM Note; sticks same in back of passport; watches passport disintegrate)

You can find less combustible US zip codes here (https://www.unitedstateszipcodes.org/06226/).

It occurs to me that in the unlikely event of finding myself  a) in USAnia  and  b) attempting to purchase motor-spirit, I could simply use the zip code from one of the utility bills that regularly arrive to my gmail address.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 05 May, 2022, 08:28:50 pm
Her mistake was to pay for the car park that the app presented to her, and not check that it corresponded with the car park she was in. The one she paid for was one she had visited about a year previously, so obviously that was the last one in her search history. Easy enough error to make.

Very similar and probably equally expensive failure was to forget that last time I used the app to pay for parking, it wasn’t for our car, not look at what the phone had auto filled and pay against totally the wrong registration number.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 May, 2022, 08:55:29 am
Our 2.3 guests left on the morning ferry, which meant a 5am start.

I remembered to get out my running gear and did a run after they left. However I forgot to get clean 'work clothes' out. MrsC is asleep in the bedroom.

So I'm sat at computer in a towel and hoody. Good thing I don't have any video calls this morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 06 May, 2022, 09:23:45 am
My wife just wanders into the bedroom, bangs around like Godzilla on a downtown walking tour for what feels like four days, before deciding what she wants to wear is in the bedroom next door anyway.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 May, 2022, 09:36:04 am
My wife just wanders into the bedroom, bangs around like Godzilla on a downtown walking tour for what feels like four days, before deciding what she wants to wear is in the bedroom next door anyway.

Wives are permitted to do that.

Partners of people with chronic insomnia are not.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 May, 2022, 11:56:50 am
This is one of those deaf gain things.  I can clatter about with impunity (indeed, I once hoovered just to prove I could), as long as I don't turn enough light on to see what I'm rummaging for...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 06 May, 2022, 12:02:41 pm
Her mistake was to pay for the car park that the app presented to her, and not check that it corresponded with the car park she was in. The one she paid for was one she had visited about a year previously, so obviously that was the last one in her search history. Easy enough error to make.

Very similar and probably equally expensive failure was to forget that last time I used the app to pay for parking, it wasn’t for our car, not look at what the phone had auto filled and pay against totally the wrong registration number.

My previous car was a blue i30, one digit different in the year was a blue i10. I mistyped when paying for Dartford crossing and scan read to check and basically saw i something blue and clicked OK. So got a fine and paid for a random car. Thankfully they accepted I'm an idiot and only had to pay the journey fee not any penalty charge. Have since set an account
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 May, 2022, 12:05:40 pm
This is one of those deaf gain things.  I can clatter about with impunity (indeed, I once hoovered just to prove I could), as long as I don't turn enough light on to see what I'm rummaging for...
Well there’s got to be some gains for those of you that have to live with us  ;D

Dr B on the other hand, just turns the lights on or opens the curtains sure in the knowledge that I’ll never retaliate becasue Even if I do manage to get up before her, she’s bound to already be awake.  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 May, 2022, 12:09:30 pm
Her mistake was to pay for the car park that the app presented to her, and not check that it corresponded with the car park she was in. The one she paid for was one she had visited about a year previously, so obviously that was the last one in her search history. Easy enough error to make.

Very similar and probably equally expensive failure was to forget that last time I used the app to pay for parking, it wasn’t for our car, not look at what the phone had auto filled and pay against totally the wrong registration number.

My previous car was a blue i30, one digit different in the year was a blue i10. I mistyped when paying for Dartford crossing and scan read to check and basically saw i something blue and clicked OK. So got a fine and paid for a random car. Thankfully they accepted I'm an idiot and only had to pay the journey fee not any penalty charge. Have since set an account
I got a fine after I’d set up an account because there were no funds in the account. I didn’t bother to check the account because I KNEW I’d set it up correctly.  :facepalm: I can’t remember if the Linked CC had expired or if I’d used it so infrequently that it had unlinked the auto pay feature, but the upshot was I had an account that didn’t pay the fee!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 06 May, 2022, 12:18:25 pm
Her mistake was to pay for the car park that the app presented to her, and not check that it corresponded with the car park she was in. The one she paid for was one she had visited about a year previously, so obviously that was the last one in her search history. Easy enough error to make.

Very similar and probably equally expensive failure was to forget that last time I used the app to pay for parking, it wasn’t for our car, not look at what the phone had auto filled and pay against totally the wrong registration number.

My previous car was a blue i30, one digit different in the year was a blue i10. I mistyped when paying for Dartford crossing and scan read to check and basically saw i something blue and clicked OK. So got a fine and paid for a random car. Thankfully they accepted I'm an idiot and only had to pay the journey fee not any penalty charge. Have since set an account

SiL has a number of trucks, and uses Dartford.  One truck he bought was left on the previous owner's account for a year, and they paid all the crossing dues. This might sound good, but unfortunately you can't just add to your account without removing from the old (which you don't know so can't contact), in contrast to the congestion charge. This means that the first you know that the old owner has removed the vehicles from their account is when you get a number of penalty charges (mebbe 12?). Ouch.

(currently under appeal)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 06 May, 2022, 08:06:13 pm
Our 2.3 guests left on the morning ferry, which meant a 5am start.

I remembered to get out my running gear and did a run after they left. However I forgot to get clean 'work clothes' out. MrsC is asleep in the bedroom.

So I'm sat at computer in a towel and hoody. Good thing I don't have any video calls this morning.

I've lost count of the times I've sat in my office in just a pair of shorts
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 08 May, 2022, 10:20:31 am
After 2 weeks of telling myself there's something wrong with my server yet through laziness convincing myself 58˚C is normal for the CPU I eventually was motivated enough to shift the other box out the way & check the inlet.  Totally blocked.  30 seconds with the vacuum was immediately rewarded by the fans slowing & getting significantly quieter.  Ten minutes later the CPU is a 36˚C.

Div.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: canny colin on 08 May, 2022, 06:04:36 pm
Friday night, I Borrowed a shinny  rear derailleur  off my daughters bike & fitted it to my upright trike . It seamed to work well on the stand . But on saturday going up steep hills . It would really struggle to engage with the 28 tooth sprocket & kept jumping out , 32 tooth  sprockets fat chance. Nearly blew a fuse going from Elsdon to Winter's Gibbet . I tried all the adjustments I could think of on route , to no avail . I have read today that  its max capacity is 27 teeth . Numpty !!!     
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 10 May, 2022, 05:19:29 pm
Joining some new scaffold boards together to make a garden table (BIG) - using biscuit joints . . .  all ready to assemble - ran the glue along the edge of the last board, glue in the slots, insert biscuits - would it go together - much bashing with the rubber mallet to no avail . . . one biscuit didn't have its opposing slot cut . . . took the biscuit out and clamped it all up (ther are 8 biscuits about 30cm apart so no problem.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 May, 2022, 11:04:42 am
Sounds familiar.

Meanwhile, I haz been striving with might, main and inappropriate words to get the motor wheel out of the eCow. Bugger won't shift.  Finally notice, after half an hour, that I haven't deflated the tyre and it's jammed up tight against the brake bridge.  <growl>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 16 May, 2022, 07:26:43 pm
Despite being tired instead of the wife driving one of the kids friends home then me hitching the old kiddie cycle trailer to my bike and going to the shop for our weekly shop I suggested I'll roll into one journey and do the shop

As we started in lockdown weeks meals planned and list made in order you get round the shop

Salmon on the list, couldn't remember what for and slightly shocked at price but must be for one of the wife's meals so got it

Get back home and realise she'd actually written salami which is for the pizzas I'm making on weekend
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 16 May, 2022, 07:53:01 pm
Pottering about in the garden, planting stuffs, my thoughts turned to inner tubes for my new build. Must not forget those, I thought, I don't have any other 650b wheels.

Ten mins later I remembered its a tubeless build, and I already have a tube in ye shedde
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 May, 2022, 11:06:51 pm
We, or rather Professor Larrington, has finally heard back from the Office of the Public Grauniad concerning Power of Attorney over Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.)'s affairs.  It would seem that some div entered his d.o.b. wrong on the form :facepalm:

Now someone has to find Something Official with his d.o.b. on it.  And his last, long-expired passport has artfully concealed itself in a SEEKRIT location.  And… arse >:(

Edit: Improbably, both his birth stiffticket and pisspot have been unearthed.  Yay! for Carina the Carer and her l33t f1nd1n9-th1n95 5k1llz :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 17 May, 2022, 06:54:11 pm
Grumbling because we're getting to the end of the loaf and I won't have time to start making bread tomorrow cos I'll be at the hairdresser. How did we get through 2 loaves already?
Makes another 2 batches of dough.

10 mins later Pingu appears with a loaf he found in the freezer.
We didn't get through 2 loaves already.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 18 May, 2022, 09:10:59 pm
Recabled the RD on the turbo bike, Microshift RD worked like a dream.  Released the clamp on the FD cable to replace that one as well, reacher under the down tube to snip the cable and pull out either end.

Well, that was the plan, only I didn't reach far enough - shiny new RD cable...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 19 May, 2022, 10:53:06 am
Recabled the RD on the turbo bike, Microshift RD worked like a dream.  Released the clamp on the FD cable to replace that one as well, reacher under the down tube to snip the cable and pull out either end.

Well, that was the plan, only I didn't reach far enough - shiny new RD cable...

BTDTGTTT

My usual trick is to carefully cut the cable outer for the rear, put cut bit aside. Then remove front outer, pick up new cable outer, cut to match front . . . and realise I've just chopped the carefully-measured rear.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 May, 2022, 10:24:44 am
Cleaning bike bits in workshop. MrsT halfway through ½ marathon.  Phone burbles "new SMS". Muggins pulls vinyl glove off hand, pulls phone out of shorts pocket, answers, goes to put phone back, sees smear of glove talc around pocket. Damn, brush it off reflexively, rub it further in.  New shorts, that was. Drat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 21 May, 2022, 12:45:35 pm
The wife (slightly under) cooked a delicious roast aubergine and tomatoe thing for dinner last night

Was rather spicy. I commented on this and everyone agreed. Confusing looks from the wife as she hadn't added anything spicy

Turns out lidl do tinned toms with chilli and garlic which muggins had picked up by mistake
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 May, 2022, 04:06:11 pm
The wife (slightly under) cooked a delicious roast aubergine and tomatoe thing for dinner last night

Was rather spicy. I commented on this and everyone agreed. Confusing looks from the wife as she hadn't added anything spicy

Turns out lidl do tinned toms with chilli and garlic which muggins had picked up by mistake

Recipe needed tabbies?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 21 May, 2022, 04:08:22 pm
Out for a ride on the summer soot bike, that had spent the winter on the turbo. Wouldn’t go into the 11 sprocket.  Hmmm, let’s see if it’ll go into the 34. Yep, now let’s try one more….  cue chain deposited twixt cassette and hub, chewing a bit off the OD of the hub  ::-). Now I’m home (I was able to extricate the chain with the aid of a plastic bag glove) I’ll adjust that mech again. And set the bloody stops properly.

ETA and when I checked the other bike, guess what, stops not set  :-\

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 21 May, 2022, 05:18:15 pm
Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 May, 2022, 06:22:46 pm
Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 :facepalm:

On the verge?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 May, 2022, 06:38:57 pm
My first clipless moment - T-Junction, white van, topple to the left into a verge full of nettles.  I was glad to be of some amusement to the hard working labourers of Cambs
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 May, 2022, 07:00:34 pm
Since I'm in Babbage-Engine-jibbling mode, I decided to swap my cruddy old Kensington trackball wot is attached to the laptop1 for the barely-run-in Logitech one I robbed off of Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) the other day month.  Oh.  The pointer moves like a snail on Mogadon.  Install pukka Logitech drivers, increase pointer speed and oh… wait!  No ring of scrolly goodness surrounding the ball.  Back in the cupboard you go.  Next to your albino twin, who has a PS2 connector so is even less useful.

Bah!

1: The trackpad on said machine being a Jbex of Stan.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 May, 2022, 07:33:26 pm
My first clipless moment - T-Junction, white van, topple to the left into a verge full of nettles.  I was glad to be of some amusement to the hard working labourers of Cambs

I did that.  Regent's Canal.  Opted for the nettles rather than the water.  Wasn't sure how to extricate myself without further stings, at which point a passer-by who'd seen me go down and fail to get up came running and helpfully untied my shoe.

I've managed to avoid nettle issues during hedge inspections, but I have had my legs give out and end up with an arse covered in grit.  Which sold me on the idea of the shewee.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 21 May, 2022, 07:39:50 pm
Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 May, 2022, 08:10:36 pm
Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 May, 2022, 10:02:26 pm
Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.
Thats something is boys learn at a very early age  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 21 May, 2022, 10:12:21 pm
Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.
Thats something is boys should learn at a very early age  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 21 May, 2022, 10:21:36 pm
Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.

This extension thingy.  Does it look realistic at all?
Asking for a friend.   ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 May, 2022, 11:43:09 pm
Today's act of divvery was a modern classic.  I was poking around inside the electric fan that lives in our bedroom.  A relatively posh model with an electronically controlled DC motor that goes down to almost-silent, IR remote control that's frustratingly directional, silly BLUE LEDs, etc.

I was so amazed discover the control board connected to the fan driver board by a 4-pin cable marked '0V' '5V' 'TX' and 'RX' that I momentarily forgot Oscilloscope 101.  A bang and a flash later, and I'm sitting in a dark room with the fire alarm beeping and barakta asking if that was supposed to happen.   :-[

With power restored, I resignedly work my way along the trail of blown fuses to the inevitable dead semiconductor.  Astoundingly, this turned out to be a pair of M7 diodes, and not some unobtanium MOSFET or microcontroller.  Even more astoundingly, I have a 50 of the things in a selection box of Chinesium diodes I purchased a couple of years ago, so was able to replace them.  Powering up the controller board with everything else unplugged did not result in further light-emitting fuses or the release of magic smoke.  For good measure I checked that the FULL BRIDGE RECTIFIER was functioning properly by sticking my sweaty finger across the reservoir capacitor.   :facepalm:

Once I'd regained sensation in my hand, I confirmed everything now worked, and spent some quality time reverse-engineering the comms (with the benefit of an isolated power supply).  The fan is now reassembled, with all screws accounted for, and programming an ESP to man-in-the-middle the communications is now left as a project for Future Kim, when normal karma and divvery levels have been restored.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 25 May, 2022, 12:03:58 am
Today's act of divvery was a modern classic.  I was poking around inside the electric fan that lives in our bedroom.  A relatively posh model with an electronically controlled DC motor that goes down to almost-silent, IR remote control that's frustratingly directional, silly BLUE LEDs, etc.

I was so amazed discover the control board connected to the fan driver board by a 4-pin cable marked '0V' '5V' 'TX' and 'RX' that I momentarily forgot Oscilloscope 101.  A bang and a flash later, and I'm sitting in a dark room with the fire alarm beeping and barakta asking if that was supposed to happen.   :-[

With power restored, I resignedly work my way along the trail of blown fuses to the inevitable dead semiconductor.  Astoundingly, this turned out to be a pair of M7 diodes, and not some unobtanium MOSFET or microcontroller.  Even more astoundingly, I have a 50 of the things in a selection box of Chinesium diodes I purchased a couple of years ago, so was able to replace them.  Powering up the controller board with everything else unplugged did not result in further light-emitting fuses or the release of magic smoke.  For good measure I checked that the FULL BRIDGE RECTIFIER was functioning properly by sticking my sweaty finger across the reservoir capacitor.   :facepalm:

Once I'd regained sensation in my hand, I confirmed everything now worked, and spent some quality time reverse-engineering the comms (with the benefit of an isolated power supply).  The fan is now reassembled, with all screws accounted for, and programming an ESP to man-in-the-middle the communications is now left as a project for Future Kim, when normal karma and divvery levels have been restored.

Shocking...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 May, 2022, 08:50:38 am
Today's act of divvery was a modern classic.  I was poking around inside...

Sympathies.  I once got 240v up one arm, down the other and through the headphones connected to the uninsulated probes I was poking round the volume control of a record player with in search of the audio signal. The machine-gun death-rattle of the phones was almost as shocking as the juice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 26 May, 2022, 07:52:13 pm
I bought myself a Fatbit 5.  I know the straps that come with it would fail after a short time.  So I bought a compatible leather strap.  I looked at the attachment and though like Fatbit 3 not the better Fatbit 4 connection. So I inserted a screwdriver in the hole as I did with Fatbit 3 and twisted.  A click and the  strap detached. Repeated the other side click.  Then I tried the new strap and it would not engage.  Then I noticed small pieces of plastic on my desk.  The click was the thin latches snapping off. Oops.

I attached the leather straps with Cyanoacrylate glue. So  it looks fine.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 29 May, 2022, 03:57:36 pm
Dropped my grease gun on to the back garden turf whilst cleaning my tourer and off snapped the plastic barrel. Dammit. >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 May, 2022, 03:58:45 pm
Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 :facepalm:

Did it again today, right up the back of one thigh this time  >:(
It didn't even look like a nettle!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: neilrj on 30 May, 2022, 09:55:41 pm
Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 :facepalm:

Did it again today, right up the back of one thigh this time  >:(
It didn't even look like a nettle!
Those stealth nettles hurt far more too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 May, 2022, 10:58:39 pm
See, at least when you fail to use a shewee correctly (there's a knack, and you will have the equivalent of a clipless moment at some point shortly after getting the hang of it), you just get piss down your leg.  If you're lucky, you'll be wearing sandals at the time, which will improve their smell.  If you're really lucky, it will also be raining.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 30 May, 2022, 11:05:56 pm
See, at least when you fail to use a shewee correctly (there's a knack, and you will have the equivalent of a clipless moment at some point shortly after getting the hang of it), you just get piss down your leg.  If you're lucky, you'll be wearing sandals at the time, which will improve their smell.  If you're really lucky, it will also be raining.

I stopped using a shewee after I had a misalignment problem when It was so cold all my skin was numb. Distinctly suboptimal.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 June, 2022, 08:39:30 am
Wiring in a light for the kiln room.

Thread cable all around the barn - this entails feeding it behind beams (dirty, covered in cobwebs). About 15m of cable.

Feed around, look at amount on ceiling of kiln room, congratulate myself on providing enough slack that it will reach light fitting with some to spare. Fasten in place with cable clips.

Wake up the next morning realising that the cable needs to reach the light switch, halfway down the wall.

Spend first part of the morning yanking cable out of cable clips and threading more around.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 03 June, 2022, 09:43:26 am
Wiring in a light for the kiln room.

Thread cable all around the barn - this entails feeding it behind beams (dirty, covered in cobwebs). About 15m of cable.

Feed around, look at amount on ceiling of kiln room, congratulate myself on providing enough slack that it will reach light fitting with some to spare. Fasten in place with cable clips.

Wake up the next morning realising that the cable needs to reach the light switch, halfway down the wall.

Spend first part of the morning yanking cable out of cable clips and threading more around.

You could have just left that feed cable at the fitting, and run a second cable from the fitting down to the switch...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 June, 2022, 10:20:46 am
Wiring in a light for the kiln room.

Thread cable all around the barn - this entails feeding it behind beams (dirty, covered in cobwebs). About 15m of cable.

Feed around, look at amount on ceiling of kiln room, congratulate myself on providing enough slack that it will reach light fitting with some to spare. Fasten in place with cable clips.

Wake up the next morning realising that the cable needs to reach the light switch, halfway down the wall.

Spend first part of the morning yanking cable out of cable clips and threading more around.

You could have just left that feed cable at the fitting, and run a second cable from the fitting down to the switch...

That would have resulted in some wires of the wrong colour, wouldn't it? (assuming you are suggesting I just run live to the switch and back)?

If I had some red sleeving I would have been tempted to do that, but I don't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 04 June, 2022, 05:27:22 pm
Yes, that's what I mean.

It's standard practice to bring the supply in to the ceiling rose (both L and N on brn and blue), and then on out to the next fitting.
Then a single drop-cable down to the switch (perm L going down on brn, sw. L coming back up on blue, sleeved with brown.)
There is no N at the switch.

Red/blk is depreciated and really should not be used in new work.
Having said that, I have a reel of 3+earth in old colours, and it was bloody expensive when I bought it, so I'm not over puritanical about using old colours! I used it in my recent smoke alarm installation, with red as L, blue as N, and yellow as Interlink.
I have it on good authority that electrons are colour-blind.

I've seen plenty of installations where the brown sleeving is missing. I'm not advising leaving it out, but I'd not be super upset over it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 04 June, 2022, 10:41:59 pm
Looking in my crystal ball... It's 15 years in the future... Feanor has sold up and is living in his pied-a-terre... A new forummer called furryboottoon_cyclist has posted on the OT Knowledge board about the weird looking electrics in their new house...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 June, 2022, 11:21:28 pm
It's standard practice to bring the supply in to the ceiling rose (both L and N on brn and blue), and then on out to the next fitting.
Then a single drop-cable down to the switch (perm L going down on brn, sw. L coming back up on blue, sleeved with brown.)
There is no N at the switch.

Which is a pretty strong argument for killing off this standard practice.  Neutral at the switch (and a nice deep backbox) is just sensible now that smart switches are a thing.  There's also a compelling argument for not having to do your electrical puzzles at the top of a ladder.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wombat on 05 June, 2022, 12:42:58 pm
I'm getting the impression that providing a neutral at the switch is becoming more common, for that very reason of catering for smart switches.  I soon will be fettling additional lighting in our dining room, but this will have a receiver mounted above the ceiling and a clever "look mum, no electrics" switch on the wall.  Therefore I'll just be filching the supply from the nearest fitting in the ceiling.  This has led me to investigate the positions of the "central" ceiling lights in several rooms in our house.  Why are most of them in bloody silly locations, way off centre?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 June, 2022, 01:28:50 pm
This has led me to investigate the positions of the "central" ceiling lights in several rooms in our house.  Why are most of them in bloody silly locations, way off centre?

In the 1930s, it was considered bad practice to risk projecting a silhouette of a woman dressing/undressing onto the curtains by mounting the ceiling light centrally.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 June, 2022, 01:44:16 pm
Popped up on the upright trike  to Stonehaugh in Geordieshire  for a little reconnaissance . On the way to Wark the rear offside tyre goes flat . Big hole in the side wall . No problem I will get The spare emergency tyre out the  carradice tardis bag . But some numpty has left the tyre on the bench at home , when the idiot reorganised their bag . 
Blooming heck my shoulders are knackered after riding over 20 odd kilometres  balanced on two wheels .   
That's not only a "fecking div" story, it's a "look what I carried on my bike" post – carrying a trike on a bike!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 June, 2022, 01:47:11 pm
My first clipless moment - T-Junction, white van, topple to the left into a verge full of nettles.  I was glad to be of some amusement to the hard working labourers of Cambs
I had my first such about 15 years before clipless pedals were even invented! I was about 3 and fell off my "big blue trike" into a patch of nettles that were taller than me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 June, 2022, 10:14:54 am
Went for a stroll through the fields to the next village this morning and forgot to change out of my yellow T-shirt first.  Spent most of the walk brushing flies off it. Shook out a good few once home.  MrsT hadn't a one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 June, 2022, 11:06:30 am
Don't want to switch wires without having some sleeving. That will end badly.

New divvery.
I'm in the office this week, which entails a long journey (plane, tram, train, train).

Halfway down, sat on the train, I wonder "where is my office badge?"

At home. First time in the office for 12months and I left it at home (I suspect either the cat nicked it out of my bag, or I put it in the new bag).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: canny colin on 06 June, 2022, 01:35:41 pm
Popped up on the upright trike  to Stonehaugh in Geordieshire  for a little reconnaissance . On the way to Wark the rear offside tyre goes flat . Big hole in the side wall . No problem I will get The spare emergency tyre out the  carradice tardis bag . But some numpty has left the tyre on the bench at home , when the idiot reorganised their bag . 
Blooming heck my shoulders are knackered after riding over 20 odd kilometres  balanced on two wheels .   
That's not only a "fecking div" story, it's a "look what I carried on my bike" post – carrying a trike on a bike!
       I think you have the wrong end of the stick no bikes were involved . Once I had travelled 3or 4 meters ,l got the offside puncture d  Wheel in the air. Then travelled back on the single driven rear wheel and front wheel .Balanced on two wheels of the trike . It's pushing on one side of the handle bars whilst pulling on the other that ,knacks your shoulders
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 June, 2022, 10:45:05 am
No, you useless cretinous moron, the reason iThings is not adding the contents of that folder to the library is not because it is b0rked, nor because the disk they both live on is b0rked.  It is because you neglected to convert the files therein from .flac to .mp3 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 07 June, 2022, 10:43:13 pm
Looking in my crystal ball... It's 15 years in the future... Feanor has sold up and is living in his pied-a-terre... A new forummer called furryboottoon_cyclist has posted on the OT Knowledge board about the weird looking electrics in their new house...

The old-colour 3+E would be the least of it...

The place is flood-filled with Cat6 and CT100, which terminate in a network cabinet and at the TV distribution head-end board, which contains a bloody great multiswitch!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 June, 2022, 12:01:12 am
15 years in the future and people will be regarding distascopic CT100 installations with the same sort of quaint nostalgia that we reserve for 10-base-2 Ethernet...

Unless the Brexit holds, and we have wide-ranging BRITISH electrical RULEZ mandating everything from waterlogged brown coax and Belling-Lee connectors (standard-definition video, for the distribution of) through looks-like-mini-USB-B-but-isn't[1] (fondleslabs, for the charging of), centre-negative DC barrel jacks in a range of fucking sizes (all other electronics, for the powering of), and 25-pin D connectors for general data communication (the one area where gender diversity is still tolerated).  Mains wiring will be restored to the much prettier pre-harmonisation colours, with VIR insulation and wire fuses in Bakelite holders.  WiFi will be permitted, in the longwave band.

The Brexit bonus will of course be the thorough and complete banning of SCART.


[1] Ie. the one that came with your circa 2004 digital camera, and has been haunting your cables box ever since.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 June, 2022, 01:46:36 am
I've got one o' they cables with my 2009 camera.  It's almost, but not quite, exactly the same as the ones Garmin used on similar vintage TwatNavs (which is also not mini USB-B).  Fortunately the new Garmin uses USB-C.  And at least the Olympus and Garmin cables were different colours.

15 years in the future all the BRITONS' cables will be red and white like old-skool barbers' poles, because the Scots will have declared UDI, Ireland will be united and run from Dublin and the Welsh will be ignored.  As usual.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 June, 2022, 10:52:21 am
And first story in the daily digest from El Reg was this:

EU to make USB-C common charging port for most electronic devices (https://www.theregister.com/2022/06/07/eu_usb_c_common_charger/?utm_source=daily&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_content=top-article).  wErE bEtEr OfF oUt Of It ImAjIN bEeN tOlD wHaT cOnEcToRs 2 uSe By A fAt BeLjUn BuRoCaRt!!!!!2!

Also it'll upset the FruitCo fanboiz :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 08 June, 2022, 11:09:59 am
My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 June, 2022, 11:16:42 am
My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.
indeed, only the phones now require lightening connectors, which is a bit of pain. Although I did note on the WWDC yesterday that the new MacBooks come with an Apple mag release power connector.

ETA:having read the report in el reg, I note that had they enforced the rule 10 years ago as they’d wanted, we’d be stuck with microUSB as the standard, which is shit. USB C is at least a reasonable connector, although this does mean that we will be stuck with it for quite a while.

I wonder if Apple will just do away with the port and go fully wireless charging.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 June, 2022, 11:21:33 am
15 years in the future all the BRITONS' cables will be red and white like old-skool barbers' poles, because the Scots will have declared UDI, Ireland will be united and run from Dublin and the Welsh will be ignored.  As usual.
Does this mean there will be a small band of Welsh nationalists running* round stamping little red dragons on all the cables? Not that they will have any electricity in Wales, because of all the leeks.**

*Nationalists never walk. It's a long-standing principle. Or a time distortion or something.
**Apology last seen running for the hills.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 08 June, 2022, 02:02:51 pm
15 years in the future and people will be regarding distascopic CT100 installations with the same sort of quaint nostalgia that we reserve for 10-base-2 Ethernet...

Unless the Brexit holds, and we have wide-ranging BRITISH electrical RULEZ mandating everything from waterlogged brown coax and Belling-Lee connectors (video, for the distribution of) through looks-like-mini-USB-B-but-isn't[1] (fondleslabs, for the charging of), centre-negative DC barrel jacks in a range of fucking sizes (all other electronics, for the powering of), and 25-pin D connectors for general data communication (the one area where gender diversity is still tolerated).  Mains wiring will be restored to the much prettier pre-harmonisation colours, with VIR insulation and wire fuses in Bakelite holders.  WiFi will be permitted, in the longwave band.

The Brexit bonus will of course be the thorough and complete banning of SCART.


[1] Ie. the one that came with your circa 2004 digital camera, and has been haunting your cables box ever since.

I read the majority of that inna opening credits of Trainspotting stylee. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 08 June, 2022, 05:40:46 pm
I have managed somehow to lose the inflation side inner valve flap on my Synmat UL. (Lord knows how) The mat therefore deflates as soon as I disconnect the Snozzle. It is usable just.  No apparent spares to be had in UK, so emailing Exped. Nil desperandum and all that. Pedal Castro highly recommends the Alpkit Cloud Base but of course they do not have any in stock atm.   ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 June, 2022, 05:54:56 pm
Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 08 June, 2022, 06:00:43 pm
Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall.  :facepalm:
Please tell me the make and model of the vacuum cleaner. I could do with one with that much suction power.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 June, 2022, 06:23:46 pm
My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

Mine is Lightning and it’s only about three months old ???
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Socks on 08 June, 2022, 06:25:49 pm
My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

Mine is Lightning and it’s only about three months old ???

Probably just a flash in the pan.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 June, 2022, 06:35:24 pm
Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall.  :facepalm:
Please tell me the make and model of the vacuum cleaner. I could do with one with that much suction power.
It's a Brexit bastard Dy3on. Actually it's quite a good hoover but I won't buy another on principle. (I think I managed to catch the cable in the wheel arch and yank it).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 08 June, 2022, 07:49:30 pm
My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

Mine is Lightning and it’s only about three months old ???

I think it's the iPad Air and Pros that have a USB-C or thunderbolt (in the latter).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 08 June, 2022, 07:57:01 pm
Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall.  :facepalm:

Aye, but you'll be an expert in these things by now...

I have a shaver sokkit in the bathroom which Mrs F. has used for her anbaric toothbrush.
So long as the thing is plugged in, the transformer is live.
And it hums. Loudly.
The backing-box is cut into the plasterboard in the normal way, but it acts as a sounding-board.

I need to find a way to dampen this.
Stiffening behind the PB would be best, with a dwang or two, but not easily accessible.
I might try some sorbothane or similar shim between the faceplate and the PB.

Hmm. mmmmmmm. mmmmmmm.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 08 June, 2022, 07:58:28 pm
Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall.  :facepalm:
Please tell me the make and model of the vacuum cleaner. I could do with one with that much suction power.
It's a Brexit bastard Dy3on. Actually it's quite a good hoover but I won't buy another on principle. (I think I managed to catch the cable in the wheel arch and yank it).
Nilfisk (https://www.onestopcleaningshop.co.uk/product/nilfisk-gm80p-commercial-vacuum-cleaner/?gclid=CjwKCAjwkYGVBhArEiwA4sZLuLxpbLzEpxqF5cRddASJ7o4ESokmiTu51QqPje1zug8oICxhHfFQMBoCiJwQAvD_BwE) is your friend.
It sucks my carpet  so hard (not a euphemism) that it takes a significant effort to push it along.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 08 June, 2022, 08:04:41 pm
Quote from: Mrs Pingu
It's a Brexit bastard Dy3on. Actually it's quite a good hoover but I won't buy another on principle...
MrsL & I decided we never having another D***n hoover after the last one because the build and material quality was awful.  Made of purest cheese whizz, never mind cheese.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 June, 2022, 08:14:15 pm
Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall.  :facepalm:

Aye, but you'll be an expert in these things by now...


It's a different sort of fitting to the one in the kitchen, and I've utterly borked it (I have a screw and a snapped plastic bit and a spring in my hand). Not confident in replacing such things so I shall be asking the kitchen sparky to pay another visit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 June, 2022, 09:13:19 pm
Could be.  Mine's only a plebeian standard model.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 09 June, 2022, 09:53:43 am
While I was taking my medications this morning, Dr Beardy was nattering at me and I was a)attempting to follow her natterings and b) trying to respond in the appropriate places so as to be engaged in the process. In attempting to to three things at once, there was obviously a branes overload because as I swallowed the biggest of the tablets on my list I suddenly realised I’d already taken that one.  :facepalm: so a double dose of the mind altering drug!

Today promises to be somewhat surreal. I’ve been excused any tasks for the rest of the day by Dr Beardy on account of my stupidity.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 09 June, 2022, 11:19:58 am
Once I'd regained sensation in my hand, I confirmed everything now worked, and spent some quality time reverse-engineering the comms (with the benefit of an isolated power supply).  The fan is now reassembled, with all screws accounted for, and programming an ESP to man-in-the-middle the communications is now left as a project for Future Kim, when normal karma and divvery levels have been restored.

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/random/2022_06_08_16_43_34.sized.jpg)

Project complete.  I can now control the fan from a web browser (or over MQTT) without needless beepery, BLUE LEDs[1] lighting up or line-of-sight duvet issues with the feeble IR remote control.  And I didn't blow anything else up.  Added bonus of enabling a new lower speed setting[2] in the process.

I also installed a sticker warning Future Kim of the non-isolatedness of the power supply.


[1] It's worse than just blinkenlights: It's little icons and a 7-segment display.  Which is impossible to focus on from across the room due to the BLUEness.
[2] The Fan's user interface provides 35 speed levels, which map in a not entirely consistent way to values between 0x03 and 0x3a in the serial communications.  Two are duplicates.  Sending other values seems to sometimes work, and sometimes result in hunting by the speed controller, so I assume these were chosen for a reason.  I've avoided sending values above 0x3a for magic smoke reasons.  0x01 seems to be okay though, so I've added that to my lookup table.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 June, 2022, 11:28:11 am
Changed the tag settings on about half the music library yesterday, meaning the regular Backup of Such Things was going to take a Several of hours.  It was still running when I stopped doing other PC faffage last night so I shut down everything else and left the machine to get on with it, thinking I would then shut the box down on my way upstairs to Bedfordshire.

Except I forgot.  Estate Office will be like a bastard sauna now chiz.

Edit: 27.4 degrees and rising :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 09 June, 2022, 12:35:46 pm
Do you not have a window you can open?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 June, 2022, 06:14:51 pm
Yes, but it involves:
Hit 31.2 just now before I put the virtual CAT out…
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 10 June, 2022, 07:29:47 am
Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall.  :facepalm:

Aye, but you'll be an expert in these things by now...

I have a shaver sokkit in the bathroom which Mrs F. has used for her anbaric toothbrush.
So long as the thing is plugged in, the transformer is live.
And it hums. Loudly.
The backing-box is cut into the plasterboard in the normal way, but it acts as a sounding-board.

I need to find a way to dampen this.
Stiffening behind the PB would be best, with a dwang or two, but not easily accessible.
I might try some sorbothane or similar shim between the faceplate and the PB.

Hmm. mmmmmmm. mmmmmmm.
Many, many years ago I fixed a noisy transformer by immersing it in molten candle wax for a few minutes, taking it out and letting it cool.

The wax filled all the little gaps between the laminations and stopped any buzzing.

In manufacture, many transformers are dipped in varnish to achieve the same thing.

As the assembly will have a switch operated by plugging something in, it wouldn't be a good idea to treat the whole socket as you would probably stop the switch from working.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 11 June, 2022, 11:36:22 am
Bollocks. Have had my finger hovering over the buy button on a set of Wera Joker ratchet combi spanners for months and months.

Finally succumbed last week.

Package arrived.

Contents extracted, packaging dismantled and dumped into the recycling.

Went to use them today. I didn't get the ratcheting version. Thought it was a good deal.

Verily bollocks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 11 June, 2022, 06:35:22 pm
I've owned a 2009 car for about 3 years. I'm about to sell it, so photographing everything. Built-in Sat Nav had never worked. I ejected the disk and tried again, and it works!

The car has had a Garmin on a Brodit mount for the last 2 1/2 years.

I really should have tried the disk a couple of times when I bought the car.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 June, 2022, 02:11:57 pm
My phone started misbehaving yesterday - started giving me messages warning that the battery was not a genuine item of fruit, showing 0% even though it was fully charged, and then resetting itself every couple of minutes.

Luckily, I'm working in Stratford today so was able to book an appointment at the Westfield fruit emporium during my lunch break.

The friendly, helpful Genius ran her diagnostics and found that the whole innards need replacing. "Of course, if you'd bought it from us, we could do that under warranty, but since you tell us you bought it from your phone service provider, it will cost you £275."

OK, maybe I'll go back to giffgaff and see if they'll sort it for me before spending that much money!

Just been rooting through my giffgaff account and they have no record of me buying the phone... Eh? You what?

A bit of further rooting through my emails shows that in fact I did buy it direct from the Cupertino greengrocers after all.  :facepalm:

In fact, I now remember that one of the reasons I bought it direct was precisely so that I would be ensured of better/cheaper service if/when something went wrong. Of course!

Oh well! Fortunately, I can go back there after work, so hopefully they will be able to sort it. They'd better - they tried a factory reset while I was in there and that has completely bricked the phone, so if they can't do anything with it, I'm totally scuppered. Not coming into the office again for nearly two weeks and don't have a local greengrocer...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 16 June, 2022, 02:23:05 pm
Bluewater or Bromley are your nearest, I guess.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 June, 2022, 02:47:28 pm
Bluewater or Bromley are your nearest, I guess.

Indeed. Neither of which are particularly easy for me to get to.

There is an approved fruit reseller in Canterbury though - I thought it had closed down but apparently it has just rebranded. That'll be why I couldn't find it before. If I can't get it done today in Stratford, I shall go there - I *presume* that being an official fruit outlet means they'll do warranty repairs...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 June, 2022, 04:16:24 pm
The Fruity people normally just know if you bought the phone from them (plus what you had breakfast and where you were last Tuesday etc.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 June, 2022, 04:37:59 pm
The Fruity people normally just know if you bought the phone from them (plus what you had breakfast and where you were last Tuesday etc.)

Yes, and on reflection, I was slightly surprised they didn't know that already (doubly so given that I made the appointment via my fruit account). But the Genius asked me and I told her...  :facepalm:

Surely they should know better than to rely on customers being armed with accurate information!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 16 June, 2022, 07:19:35 pm
I thought they just scanned the serial number – that's all they did with my iPad (that had a minor but annoying scratch) – and then fetched me a new one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 17 June, 2022, 08:48:08 am
Weekend here in Muscat. Not much to do. I decided to venture down to the tiny hotel beach for a look. Took my footwear off for a paddle in the sea, said 'hello fishies'.
Got out, the sand was like lava. My feets are a bit tender now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 17 June, 2022, 09:31:17 am
Weekend here in Muscat. Not much to do. I decided to venture down to the tiny hotel beach for a look. Took my footwear off for a paddle in the sea, said 'hello fishies'.
Got out, the sand was like lava. My feets are a bit tender now.
In the event that you get a chance to have a 'shoof', the mountains about 50km S of Muscat are geologically very unusual.  The rocks are greenish in colour and were once part of the earth's mantle.  They were thrust up above what is now sea level as part of an obduction process - the reverse of subduction, where the sea flor is pushed down below a land mass.  In Oman, the reverse happened, the sea floor was pushed up above the land mass.  V unusual.  You can see a section through the sea floor crust which is never normally seen.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 17 June, 2022, 10:20:26 am
Weekend here in Muscat. Not much to do.

That's an experience I remember. A full week in Muscat but it was the last week of Ramadan so everything was closed except the hotel breakfast and room service until sundown when the Iftar buffet diner was available in the hotel restaurant. Though when I went onto the beach at sunset I kept my shoes on.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 June, 2022, 10:43:22 am
This Unit endorses gypsum-based sand for all your “barefoot walking in high temperatures” needs:

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48761978491_8e957bf68f_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2hhVTn6)
P9190309 (https://flic.kr/p/2hhVTn6) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr.  Forty-odd degrees in the shade, which in my case I had not got.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 18 June, 2022, 06:16:50 am
My fast access bikes are (1) the hack bike, currently with a flat tyre (2) A perfectly sensible single speed folder with flat pedals so why oh why oh why, when it came to going out for a "bike ride" with mini Ham (3, who has lost the stabilisers but not yet got brakes) which consists of riding round in circles on the Wanstead Flats (an open space by my home), trying to avoid him and letting him win the "race" did I chose option (3) my titanium commuter with SPD, and THEN compound the issue by putting on those old shoes where I KNEW that there was a cleat/pedal interface issue. Other cleated shoes would have been fine, any other trainer would have been fine.

Two (count 'em, two) clipless moments, much to the hilarity of all (actually Mini Ham was quite concerned: "Grandad's fallen off his bike")
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 18 June, 2022, 07:36:09 am
"Grandad's fallen off his bike"

Sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh. But I did.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 18 June, 2022, 07:57:56 am
My fast access bikes are (1) the hack bike, currently with a flat tyre (2) A perfectly sensible single speed folder with flat pedals so why oh why oh why, when it came to going out for a "bike ride" with mini Ham (3, who has lost the stabilisers but not yet got brakes) which consists of riding round in circles on the Wanstead Flats (an open space by my home), trying to avoid him and letting him win the "race" did I chose option (3) my titanium commuter with SPD, and THEN compound the issue by putting on those old shoes where I KNEW that there was a cleat/pedal interface issue. Other cleated shoes would have been fine, any other trainer would have been fine.

Two (count 'em, two) clipless moments, much to the hilarity of all (actually Mini Ham was quite concerned: "Grandad's fallen off his bike")

I feel your pain, but at one generation less . . .  a few years ago I rode the London Sightseer Audax (Weds version) on my fixed accompanied by a couple of pals and one of my daughters . . .  all went well (even the hill at Greenwich) - BUT we were stopped by traffic lights outside Charing Cross Station, OK I though . . .  no need to unclip, I'll just hold onto this traffic bollard thing . . .  hmm, little did I know that they are on a flexible/bendy mounting and over I went  :facepalm:  - my other two daughters knew all about the hilarious incident from the riding daughter before I got home.  [At the next set of lights I just put my hand on the back of a car to remain clipped in  ;D]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 June, 2022, 10:23:24 am
This morning I looked on all 4 of the benches in my workshop, under stuff and in boxes, for the new chain I bought a month back.  Finally - brainwave! - found it where I'd put it neatly away in a cupboard.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 23 June, 2022, 02:16:14 pm
Dog food's here, quoth Mrs B as she came in, and gave me a rather odd look.
I went out of the side door and, OMG what have I done?  Fat fingered doubled up on everything, that's what.
Oh well, that's the dog sorted until Christmas.

Note to self.  Do not order stuffs on your phone.  Use the laptop.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 25 June, 2022, 05:23:38 pm
Do I know anyone locally with a set of heavy-duty bolt croppers?

A couple of weeks ago, I managed to lose the key for my Pinhead bike lock while it was locked up. Because of the way I'd locked it, I was able to free the bike by removing the front wheel. So being a div actually saved me a lot of grief on that occasion. But the lock is still left attached to the stand.

Luckily, I have another lock, a standard Abus D-lock.

Guess which idiot managed to lose his key while the bike was locked up this morning? And this time I'd locked it up properly.

In both cases, it's quite possible that I did make a note of the key number at some point, but I've had both locks for a looooong time (>10 years in the case of the Abus one) and I have no idea where I would have kept the record.

There might be a spare key for the Abus somewhere, but again, no idea where...

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 27 June, 2022, 09:07:51 am
Yesterday, I was making baba ghanoush.
This involves charring a couple of aubergines over an open flame on the bbq, and then scooping the soft flesh out of the charred skins.

So I scoop out the flesh, put it in the blender with the liquid ingredients and whiz it up.
Its much to runny. Hmm. The ratio of aubergene to liquid is a bit off.
So I decide to do another aubergene.
I am standing over the bbq, finishing off this additional aubergine when Mrs F. Walks out of the house with a plate containing a whole charred aubergine.

I'd only put one of the two aubergines into the mix, leaving one behind on the plate!  (It was quite messy in the kitchen!)
So now I have an extra aubergine. I just horse them both in and all is well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 27 June, 2022, 09:11:07 am
So now I have an extra aubergine. I just horse them both in and all is well.

More baba ghanoush = win

Love that stuff so much.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 27 June, 2022, 11:53:12 am
Absolute favourite.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 27 June, 2022, 01:08:58 pm
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals

Oh, sorry, wrong Baba
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 June, 2022, 12:34:52 pm
HMRC want to check my NI contributions. NP, I'll just dig out my P45 and P60 . . . Oh

Don't have my P45 from previous job. When I left, I thought I'd downloaded copies, but buggered if I can find them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 01 July, 2022, 03:29:42 pm
Had a lovely ride last night. Only a couple of us but stopped for refreshments at one of our group who couldn't get out

Picked up helmet to put on as we were leaving and was confused when it hit something on my head. Turns out was trying to put my riding buddies helmet which is nearly identical to mine which was already on my head

I'll blame the cycling cap I had under helmet but the cider may have been a contributing factor
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: HTFB on 01 July, 2022, 03:34:41 pm
Do I know anyone locally with a set of heavy-duty bolt croppers?
Where is local? I have a pair of bolt croppers after some anonymous scrote dumped them, and a bike, outside our block. The magic of Facebook got the bike back to its owner but I felt the previous possessor of the croppers would be better off without them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 July, 2022, 11:15:13 am
Read the wrong figure off my credit card statement.  Just paid Horseybank the thick end of £1700 rather than the £4.69 I actually owed them this month :facepalm:

Still, there’s more than £1800's worth of transactions to go on next month's bill so it ent worth making a song and dance over.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 July, 2022, 11:54:42 am
Read the wrong figure off my credit card statement.  Just paid Horseybank the thick end of £1700 rather than the £4.69 I actually owed them this month :facepalm:

Still, there’s more than £1800's worth of transactions to go on next month's bill so it ent worth making a song and dance over.

Be interesting to see if that "credit" stays on - they don't really like people paying in advance, and it guarantees no interest payment..
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 July, 2022, 07:06:11 am
Doing the washing up this morning and clearing up before the kitchen floor fitter comes, didn't really think about the fact the washer drain hose is not plumbed in, so I created a small flood under the sink when I ran the tap   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 July, 2022, 05:10:50 pm
I was dead heading one of the echinaceas today but then realised I was getting carried away and cutting off the developing flowers, not just the dead ones.
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 July, 2022, 08:04:37 pm
Must remember that the screw for the 6-bolt disc hubs are T25, not T20 which turns the heads to cheese.  Luckily I had a spare and managed to get the damaged one back out.  Time to note this on the label on the bag containing my 4 remaining spares I think.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 11 July, 2022, 09:30:30 am
Must remember that the screw for the 6-bolt disc hubs are T25, not T20 which turns the heads to cheese.  Luckily I had a spare and managed to get the damaged one back out.  Time to note this on the label on the bag containing my 4 remaining spares I think.
And order some more spares?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 July, 2022, 10:23:20 am
Div, twice over.

Sun, removing some old kitchen cupboards. All screws removed. Still not moving. Employ jemmy bar - bit of wood behind it, as wall is plasterboard. Nearly there, move bar - crunch, straight through plasterboard. Spend more time patching that than it took to remove cupboard.

Mon eve. Need to drill hole through wall for a gas pipe. Go to check measurements, ah, there is the chalk mark from where I measured it last week. Drill hole from outside. Bit not quite long enough to get through plasterboard part, so I get a bit of copper pipe and tap it through. Surprisingly difficult. Hard wack and through!
Go inside. Pipe punched through skirting board. The hole is about 10cm lower than it should be. Arse.
(Will still be useable, just very annoying to have damaged the skirting.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 13 July, 2022, 12:27:42 pm
Here's a non-diy one that made me laugh at myself.

I've got a mini habit of playing artists I quite like but don't fully know, using Apple music, on my headphones while doing other stuff. I was doing that with Christine and the Queens, and enjoying the experience. I like her sound, I like listening to her singing in French. One tune came up, in French, (Chaleur Humaine, since you ask), as in many of hers there's quite a bit of nudity, sex and flesh doing the rounds. I was listening and thinking to myself "Why doesn't she want to hunt for tea? Is there something significant about a cup of tea I have failed to realise?" What I failed to realise was that what I heard as "Chasse de thé" - which I translated in my stoopid head as "hunt for tea" was actually chastetés, which you will probably translate without issue.  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 July, 2022, 08:57:45 am
Getting on bike yesterday, swung my leg over and skinned my knee on the rack I'd forgotten was there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 16 July, 2022, 12:23:45 pm
Just sent my prescription sunglasses through the washing machine as they were in my back Jersey pocket. They are now cloudy. I am going on holiday tomorrow but fortunately found my old ones for the driving
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 16 July, 2022, 07:55:20 pm
Getting on bike yesterday, swung my leg over and skinned my knee on the rack I'd forgotten was there.

Ah.

On long events, I often get to the point where I loose the strength and flexibility to lift my leg over the rack and bag, and have some comedy moments.
I increasingly need to tip the bike over towards me to let me get on.

I've seen some riders get on by swinging a leg over the handlebars from the front, but I've not been brave enough to try that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 July, 2022, 10:21:28 pm
Dug a hole today. That was daft enough in this weather. But it was a hole for a post for our new house name sign, and I can't put it off any longer. 600mm doesn't sound like much, but it's a very deep hole to dig on a very hot day. But given the weight of the sign, I don't want to skimp, so was determined to go all the way down.

Unfortunately, I hit a brick wall. Literally. I think it was the foundations of an old outbuilding. Pah! Should have done the geophys.

By that time, I was already too deep for moving the hole to be a realistic option. 

Managed to dig out one brick, but there was another course below. I took a 10mm masonry drill to the bricks and promptly bent the drill bit. Hard to control a drill when you're leaning down into a confined space. Resorted to hacking it out with a lump hammer and bolster. That was hard work, but I managed to get rid of most of it. The rest I'll come back to tomorrow - planning to get up v.early before it gets hot.

Shouldn't have bothered trying to do it with domestic tools though - probably would have been quicker and easier to pop down to the local hire station for a jack hammer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 18 July, 2022, 05:43:46 pm
Because I'm not a fan of overenthusiastic hotel a/c, I turned it off and left the window ajar for some pleasing wafts of nocturnal air. This allowed in a mosquito, which I dispatched with a degree of satisfaction before adjusting the curtains to restrict any further ingress and going to sleep. Little did I know that she'd brought a friend, a nemesistic menace the size of a bus, who proceeded to enjoy the buffet my snoozing form was providing.

In an astounding feat of reflex, my half-asleep body caught the sound of an approaching buzz in the dark and I achieved a perfect and very decidedly fatal splat between my hands. Be gone, blood-sucking fiend.

Only at that point did I notice that my hands were very sticky, so I turned on the lights and it looked like someone had re-enacted Carrie's prom scene in my room. Blood splattered everywhere, across the sheets, up the wall. I suspect the hotel staff are still trying to find a body.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 18 July, 2022, 09:14:00 pm
I put on a clean Trespass top for my ride to work this morning, stopped off at Mum's as usual. "What you done to your shirt?" she asks. Said garment was oddly puckered on the front. I un-puckered it to find a horrid sticky circle on the fabric, and realised that I had washed it with one of those temporary badge stickers on it  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 July, 2022, 06:00:55 pm
Today I are learning that today is Saturday, not Sunday :facepalm: Though not until I examined the contents of the fridge and saw the makings of two dinners rather than one.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 23 July, 2022, 10:30:10 pm
Try putting your glasses on, you idiot, then you won’t need to spend 10 minutes wondering why a USB-C plug won’t fit in a Micro USB socket.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: ian on 23 July, 2022, 10:31:19 pm
Try putting your glasses on, you idiot, then you won’t need to spend 10 minutes wondering why a USB-C plug won’t fit in a Micro USB socket.

Quit bragging.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 24 July, 2022, 08:22:02 am
I put on a clean Trespass top for my ride to work this morning, stopped off at Mum's as usual. "What you done to your shirt?" she asks. Said garment was oddly puckered on the front. I un-puckered it to find a horrid sticky circle on the fabric, and realised that I had washed it with one of those temporary badge stickers on it  ::-)

Hoorah for Sticky Stuff Remover  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 July, 2022, 10:04:17 am
Getting on bike yesterday, swung my leg over and skinned my knee on the rack I'd forgotten was there.

Ah.

On long events, I often get to the point where I loose the strength and flexibility to lift my leg over the rack and bag, and have some comedy moments.
I increasingly need to tip the bike over towards me to let me get on.

I've seen some riders get on by swinging a leg over the handlebars from the front, but I've not been brave enough to try that.

When I tip the eBrute towards me with a spare battery in the saddlebag the front wheel wants to unstick, whereupon the entire bike tries hard to lie down and leave me holding the handlebars like a prat.

I used to do the leg-over-handlebars swing but I haven't tried it for a few years. Might have another go, in privacy of course.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 27 July, 2022, 04:08:52 pm
Could hear an electronic voice saying "snowberry" every 30 seconds or so, and assumed wife was using voice response on her iPhone. Eventually realised she wasn't, so had to track down the source. Gradually moved from lounge to hall, then into the kitchen  :-\

Turned out to be the smoke/fire alarm announcing "low battery"  :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 29 July, 2022, 11:05:25 am
Last night the kitchen sink was blocked. Littlest monkey was helping Daddy fix it and reminded her of two stupid mistakes I'd previously made when unblocking sinks

One was emptying the water that had drained out when the trap was removed back into the sink before I'd refitted the trap

The other in a similar vein was washing hands mid job with trap still unfitted
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 July, 2022, 02:34:24 pm
(a) Was perturbed on setting off on my ride this morning by a pronounced chattering sound emanating from the RD, as if I had suddenly acquired a hedgeful of sparrows.  Found that I had committed the beginner's mistake of routing the chain to the outside of that nasty little tab Shimano have provided just so that you can get it wrong.  First time I've done that in at least 20 years.

(b) tried to post this before writing anything.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 08 August, 2022, 12:31:50 am
...One was emptying the water that had drained out when the trap was removed back into the sink before I'd refitted the trap

The other in a similar vein was washing hands mid job with trap still unfitted

This is why the human race is doomed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 August, 2022, 09:10:57 am
Book boat trip for visiting family.

Triumphantly tell them trip is booked.

Response "That is the day we arrive"

Frantically trying to get hold of boat trip company to shift booking.

Idiot
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 09 August, 2022, 06:52:16 am
Unfortunately having to put the wife in here again

They've gone away on holiday, she decided to take manual toothbrushes so didn't have to worry about charging our leccy ones. The leccy brushes are in the bathroom.....Unfortunately she has packed the charger and taken it with her, and taken my manual toothbrush. Working my way through thr charge in all the brushes here by swapping my head onto them
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 August, 2022, 10:53:06 am
Popped into town for some needed shopping. Haven't used the utili-touring-adventure bike for a while, but everything seemed to be working. Put the pannier on and down the road I go. Lean the bike against the rack outside the stupormarket, open the pannier and... no lock. Okay, it's only five minutes back home. Or maybe six or seven cos it's uphill home.

Get home, find the lock, and then my neighbour comes past. Somehow we get into conversation about how he's turning his car into a mobile SW radio station. Then back down the hill to the stupormarket and... I have the lock but no keys! Got home and there they were in the front door. You don't have to go the market to be in a stupor but it works for me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 10 August, 2022, 12:08:13 pm
Unfortunately having to put the wife in here again

They've gone away on holiday, she decided to take manual toothbrushes so didn't have to worry about charging our leccy ones. The leccy brushes are in the bathroom.....Unfortunately she has packed the charger and taken it with her, and taken my manual toothbrush. Working my way through thr charge in all the brushes here by swapping my head onto them

Do you not have a multipack of spare manual toothbrushes kicking around for times of need?

We once had to try and buy a toothbrush at night and despite there being 3 mini supermarket style shops open late round here, NONE had actual toothbrushes of any kind.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 10 August, 2022, 12:24:45 pm
No she took the manual ones
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 August, 2022, 01:09:58 pm
I always have a couple of airline amenity toothbrushes hanging around, partly for guests who forget their own
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 10 August, 2022, 01:55:36 pm
Got to the station after work yesterday in time for the 17.32 train. Train arrives at the expected time and says it's going to Margate, so I get on board, then bury my head in the crossword to pass the journey.

It's only when we arrive in Ashford 20 minutes later that I realise I'm on the wrong train...

Yes, it's going to Margate, but it's going the other way round the loop, not via Whitstable. Turns out it was actually a late-running 17.27, not the 17.32.

Net result is I have to get off at Canterbury and get the bus home. The irony being that because the train via Ashford is so much faster, I got home earlier than if I'd got the correct train. Only real down side is that I had to go back out later to rescue my bike from the station. And be reminded why I don't habitually use the bus - teenagers vaping and blaring out tinny music from their phones being the main annoyances.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 12 August, 2022, 12:36:18 pm
Got home last week to find the outside lights stuck on.  Easy thinks I, it'll be a dead PIR and I haz spares because they never last.  Replace one - lights still on, can't put the original back as the cover screw had rusted so I had to get in destructively.  Replace 2nd as well - lights still on.  Bum.  Much head scratching & cable testing later I give up & leave the detectors disconnected.

Today I went back & found both had the time setting turned to max instead of min.  Reconnected & all is well.  Cover screws replaced with stainless.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 14 August, 2022, 12:10:46 am
Two doses of divness on the same project today.

I bought a water butt and added a stand, filling kit, and tap to my trolley. The nice lady at the checkout asked if everything was with the water butt, at which point I found that it contained a stand, filling kit and tap, all nicely packaged inside.:facepalm:  The nice lady was very understanding that I abandoned the extra bits that I would have otherwise bought.

At home, the butt had to go on one side of the downpipe, and I drilled a hole for the inlet on the wrong side.:facepalm:  I then had to patch it up by welding with a hot-air gun, using the old top from an oil container as the patch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 14 August, 2022, 05:29:39 pm
Unfortunately having to put the wife in here again

They've gone away on holiday, she decided to take manual toothbrushes so didn't have to worry about charging our leccy ones. The leccy brushes are in the bathroom.....Unfortunately she has packed the charger and taken it with her, and taken my manual toothbrush. Working my way through thr charge in all the brushes here by swapping my head onto them

Thr wife is here by removed and I am added, turns out she'd just tidied the charger into the cupboard
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 15 August, 2022, 11:07:15 am
Unfortunately having to put the wife in here again

They've gone away on holiday, she decided to take manual toothbrushes so didn't have to worry about charging our leccy ones. The leccy brushes are in the bathroom.....Unfortunately she has packed the charger and taken it with her, and taken my manual toothbrush. Working my way through thr charge in all the brushes here by swapping my head onto them

Thr wife is here by removed and I am added, turns out she'd just tidied the charger into the cupboard

 :facepalm: :D :D :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 15 August, 2022, 11:47:31 am
Is it time for this again?

(https://i0.wp.com/mylifesuckers.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/MyLifeSuckers-MalePatternBlindness-4.5.16.jpg?resize=768%2C1131&ssl=1)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 August, 2022, 08:59:06 pm
You could take the first half of that and re-caption it as "strange things that hearing people do".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 August, 2022, 09:09:15 pm
Talking of hearing people and given this is the Div thread I thought I might mention it hear1. I’m being hassled to wear my aids a quantity of MOAR at home because Dr Beardy is getting fed up of having to repeat everything three times.

I have pointed out that if she makes sure I’m aware she wishes to communicate with me and I am therefore,oooking at her I would hear2 a lot more of what it is she says. Apparently, she considers it only fair that I make a greater effort as well. Which I can’t exactly disagree with.

But wearing my aids MOAR means hearing MOAR of what is going on and other noises.  :'(

1. Did you see what I did there? Hmm? Did you?

2. FCVO hearing obv.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 August, 2022, 09:13:17 pm
I'm a bit hardline about this, but FFS, if you don't give a dead[1] person a preamble, then it's your own fault that you're having to repeat yourself.  We're all allowed our moments of divvery[2], but it really shouldn't be grudge material.



[1] TBAGO
[2] I irregularly find myself talking to barakta (usually about the state of her abutments, or giving a second opinion on the functioning of her hearing aid) while holding her hearing aid in my hand.  The correct response to finding yourself in this situation is <me><audiologist><stupid><sorry>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 16 August, 2022, 04:47:16 pm
Let me see, do I still have my platinum diamond encrusted membership card for this thread? Why, yes, I do. Step aside, amateurs.

I am at the tail end of works at Miss Ham's house; they have moved out of ours (huzzah! huzzah! it's only been six years months) and decoration and finish remains.

I have been putting up dado and picture rail (also, faux paneling), including to an external 90 bend. All was going well, I was, indeed quite pleased with the last bend I had to do (picture rail). All that remained was to fill the gaps with wood filler. I passed the tube of wood filler to someone who was helping strip the old paint to be opened with a chisel he had in his hand, which he did. I lovingly applied it to the bend, a fairly tedious  process. Here it is

(https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis5naKB3XThAgdL6obTQnnLCTXzbWx_VzQX4Jaayn8F8hn5ehc4OAxVn8PgqNpp67rd22ehzzcZfrcrqE1UdpPndbQi3aoue0WOAOUNQbrqO_bytwWObB-pSwp6ufoipa-vz1mvhdcjiJHcFZQIUgeOA5emYo0xD-qQybmJkYkYrMUJljwcSlpKOA4/s1024/IMG-20220816-WA0002.jpeg)

A couple of hours later and it was not yet sandable. I wondered why, and wondered. Then I saw that the surface was somewhat shiny. Then I picked up the tube of wood filler and nothing had been squeezed out. Then I realised I had filled the bend with grab adhesive. :facepalm:

Cue much fun hoiking the adhesive out, without snapping any of the wood, cleaning up as best I could and reapplying wood filler. How the holy **** had I managed that?

(https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxhJb5p6UEM9CAG2HG9_m-tmg4jpf_hg18zA2dF67-t3fqAKzMZYpsWPufX6cvJpgMIbR3M-kEeZdH55GEHwxxcZ0uiIlAH_xRFDHT2zEnZtGqvxjm3kpDN9gcI5UveYZlTdsMpPEKNGrSypmU3yl7qUyOEJlPFDyU1yYJ__gN-jePCHrT-o4KufSR/s1024/PXL_20220816_142645240.jpg)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 August, 2022, 05:16:31 pm
Really? I thought they moved in there ages ago? Or is this another new house?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 16 August, 2022, 05:58:28 pm
Let me see, do I still have my platinum diamond encrusted membership card for this thread? Why, yes, I do. Step aside, amateurs.

I am at the tail end of works at Miss Ham's house; they have moved out of ours (huzzah! huzzah! it's only been six years months) and decoration and finish remains.

I have been putting up dado and picture rail (also, faux paneling), including to an external 90 bend. All was going well, I was, indeed quite pleased with the last bend I had to do (picture rail). All that remained was to fill the gaps with wood filler. I passed the tube of wood filler to someone who was helping strip the old paint to be opened with a chisel he had in his hand, which he did. I lovingly applied it to the bend, a fairly tedious  process. Here it is

(https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis5naKB3XThAgdL6obTQnnLCTXzbWx_VzQX4Jaayn8F8hn5ehc4OAxVn8PgqNpp67rd22ehzzcZfrcrqE1UdpPndbQi3aoue0WOAOUNQbrqO_bytwWObB-pSwp6ufoipa-vz1mvhdcjiJHcFZQIUgeOA5emYo0xD-qQybmJkYkYrMUJljwcSlpKOA4/s1024/IMG-20220816-WA0002.jpeg)

A couple of hours later and it was not yet sandable. I wondered why, and wondered. Then I saw that the surface was somewhat shiny. Then I picked up the tube of wood filler and nothing had been squeezed out. Then I realised I had filled the bend with grab adhesive. :facepalm:

Cue much fun hoiking the adhesive out, without snapping any of the wood, cleaning up as best I could and reapplying wood filler. How the holy **** had I managed that?

(https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxhJb5p6UEM9CAG2HG9_m-tmg4jpf_hg18zA2dF67-t3fqAKzMZYpsWPufX6cvJpgMIbR3M-kEeZdH55GEHwxxcZ0uiIlAH_xRFDHT2zEnZtGqvxjm3kpDN9gcI5UveYZlTdsMpPEKNGrSypmU3yl7qUyOEJlPFDyU1yYJ__gN-jePCHrT-o4KufSR/s1024/PXL_20220816_142645240.jpg)


That's on a par with the KY Jelly/Deep Heat selection error  ;D ;D

. . .  on a serious note, the curve in picture rail looks brilliant.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 16 August, 2022, 06:01:09 pm
Really? I thought they moved in there ages ago? Or is this another new house?
I see you've been paying attention. They moved in, then out again to us while they have had the rear of the house demolished and an extension built.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 August, 2022, 06:10:58 pm
Ah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 16 August, 2022, 09:43:41 pm

. . .  on a serious note, the curve in picture rail looks brilliant.

Thanks, yes, I was quite happy with the result. Which makes it all the more annoying that I contrived to put Deep Heat on it. And of course, using Soudal adhesive might have been an excellent decision for the faux paneling, less so for bend filling and subsequent removal. Oh, and I was using a saw with a 1.4mm kerf which helped the original bend, less so gouging out goop.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 16 August, 2022, 11:01:56 pm
Mrs Tween is being entered here by her own request. And divvery obv.

A several of days ago Mrs Tween was sewing, her current obsession. At one point as she sewed and sang along to something on the radio she shoved a needle into her material with great vigor and pulled it through the other side with such a flourish the needle became deeply embedded in her chin. It's still bleeding each time she washes 4 days later.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 16 August, 2022, 11:05:22 pm
*wince*

That's worse than accidentally sewing your sewing to the clothes you're wearing...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 August, 2022, 08:30:03 am
A week ago, irritatedly ignore email reminder to change my work password.

Take a few days off while family visit.

Try to log into computer this morning. Try, try again.

What was the expiry date for my password? Oh, 2 days ago . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 17 August, 2022, 09:14:36 am
A week ago, irritatedly ignore email reminder to change my work password.

Take a few days off while family visit.

Try to log into computer this morning. Try, try again.

What was the expiry date for my password? Oh, 2 days ago . . .

You're lucky, we don't get reminders, they just expire. Usually about a minute before the presentation is due to begin
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 August, 2022, 09:23:50 am
A week ago, irritatedly ignore email reminder to change my work password.

Take a few days off while family visit.

Try to log into computer this morning. Try, try again.

What was the expiry date for my password? Oh, 2 days ago . . .

You're lucky, we don't get reminders, they just expire. Usually about a minute before the presentation is due to begin

90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: arabella on 17 August, 2022, 12:24:49 pm
This unit would love to know how you work out which bits of the wall are the right places to attach the picture rail to (nail it in), and thus avoid divvery and picture rail falling off said wall as soon as a picture is hung off it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 17 August, 2022, 12:36:24 pm
This unit would love to know how you work out which bits of the wall are the right places to attach the picture rail to (nail it in), and thus avoid divvery and picture rail falling off said wall as soon as a picture is hung off it.
I think I'd be screwing the picture rail to the wall using screws and rawl plugs of some sort rather than nails.
Ham OTP has recent experience, I believe.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 17 August, 2022, 01:34:43 pm
The simple answer is that grab adhesive provides sufficient strength, assuming a normal quality wall, this (https://www.screwfix.com/p/soudal-fix-all-high-tack-adhesive-sealant-white-290ml/64585) is what I was using. On a blank wall, pencil in the top line all the way, I use a masonry nail that goes about 25mm into the wall as a locator to ensure full alignment and adhesion, the nails will also help straighten any irregularities in the wood, I drill before nailing to avoid splitting and counter-punch and fill to hide the heads, I use about 1 per meter. Without restriction, I would start in the middle and work out, where you have a mitre to join to, start there with an assistant holding the long end if needed and work away. If you need to join lengths for a run, use a 45 bevel, do not try to butt a square joint, it will be ugly.

I use screws and plugs to pull in picture rail or dado only where you want to follow an uneven wall without gaps, it shouldn't be needed for strength, but obviously if you are concerned about the state of the surface, then plugs and screws can be used, countersink and fill over to hide the head.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 August, 2022, 01:01:53 pm
Mr Larrington is riding the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle to Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles when he rounds a corner in the depths of the maze that carries pedestrian and cycle traffic beneath the Crooked Billet roundabout and above the N. Circular and sees that the path ahead is flooded.  “Aha!” he thinks.  “The pedestrian side is a couple of inches higher than the bike path so the water will be less deep.  Therefore I shall ride on that bit instead!”

Mr Larrington fails to note the presence of the kerb 'twixt the two bits of the path.  He falls off.  Ankle, knee, elbow, dignity.  The latter due to having one shoe pull out of the pedal and the accompanying foot out of the shoe while the other remaining firmly attached to a burning bike.  The knee is going to be very hurty by tea-time :(

Ob-rant: it hasn’t rained today.  I'm pretty sure it didn’t rain yesterday.  So why has a man from the Cooncil/Highways Agency/Milk Marketing Board* not come round with a bilge pump, sucked the water into a lorry and dumped it in the canal where it belongs >:(

* I've no idea who’s responsible for its care and feeding but strongly suspect that whoever you ask it’s Someone Else.

Edit: reported to the Cooncil who aim to have it fixed within ten working days :jurek:

Edit 2: Not ours, say the Cooncil.  Forwarded to TfL :-\
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 19 August, 2022, 04:36:57 pm
90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 August, 2022, 04:56:50 pm
Mr Larrington fails to note the presence of the kerb 'twixt the two bits of the path.  He falls off.  Ankle, knee, elbow, dignity.  The latter due to having one shoe pull out of the pedal and the accompanying foot out of the shoe while the other remaining firmly attached to a burning bike.  The knee is going to be very hurty by tea-time :(

GWS, Mr. L, your country Mortagne-au-Perche needs you.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 19 August, 2022, 06:21:04 pm
90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 19 August, 2022, 07:31:28 pm
Quote from: mrcharly-YHT
...min 12 alpha with special char.
The rules for our passwords changed at some point in the last week or so.  Nooo, they didn't make them any more sensible, quite the reverse.   Now you'd think a change like this would be announced LOUDLY to all and sundry, wouldn't you?  Was it?  Of course it wasn't, leopards may come into it when discussing the visibility and accessibility of the announcement.  Cue much hilarity and gaiety as well as a great many guffaws to boot as people found they couldn't set valid passwords as their current ones expired.  Why I've never know so much joviality in one place.  Quite lifted one's spirits.

This post may contain traces of both irony & sarcasm.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cygnet on 19 August, 2022, 10:51:42 pm
90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 August, 2022, 11:30:37 pm
This.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 19 August, 2022, 11:35:31 pm
We have a ork database that requires a new password every 45 days and it can only be between X and Y chars long, needs 1 upper case, 1 lower case, 1 number and 1 special char but the instructions for what it can contain are incorrect. I have a 30 day reminder for reset cos I kept missing the 45. I hate it. I want to send articles showing repeated password changes like this is NOT secure but I'll only get a lecture from their manager again who I have already told that the system is hideous and I'm a techie. It takes 20 mins to load!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CrinklyLion on 20 August, 2022, 12:14:26 am
*wince*

That's worse than accidentally sewing your sewing to the clothes you're wearing...

I still remember cross-stitching my bit of binca to my skirt when I was in the infants....
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 20 August, 2022, 07:39:35 am


90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.

I have a regular rant with our IT department about this, that goes along the lines of

I don't need instructions as to how to delete emails which are larger than 1mb, I know how to do it, but I am not going to, because those emails are part of a conversation about customer artwork which I need to refer back to at some unknown date in the future. Just sort out more server space to store them. If we haven't got enough space, that's your problem not mine.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Jurek on 20 August, 2022, 08:38:36 am


90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.

I have a regular rant with our IT department about this, that goes along the lines of

I don't need instructions as to how to delete emails which are larger than 1mb, I know how to do it, but I am not going to, because those emails are part of a conversation about customer artwork which I need to refer back to at some unknown date in the future. Just sort out more server space to store them. If we haven't got enough space, that's your problem not mine.
Our IT wanted to claw back some space on the server, the upshot of which is that we now have no record whatsoever of what we did between 2014 and 2017.
Very helpful  ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 20 August, 2022, 09:11:34 am
I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.

A previous employer had a similar policy, and it was quoted as being for 'legal reasons', and was un-questionable.

It was worded to suggest that there was a legal requirement to delete old e-mail, which of course there's not.
What the 'legal reason' meant was "In order to protect ourselves from any potential future requirement to disclose potentially damaging e-mails, we're shredding everything as fast as we possibly can".
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 20 August, 2022, 06:36:00 pm
Is keeping old emails in your inbox really the best filing system for stuff that needs to be saved anyway?

If an email contains information I know I’ll want to refer to later, I create a pdf of the email and save it in the folder for the project it relates to, along with any attachments. As well as avoiding the issue of emails potentially being deleted, it makes things much easier to find at future unspecified date when you need them (as long as you have a good system with robust file naming protocols).

Probably contravenes GDPR, I expect.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: L CC on 20 August, 2022, 08:34:15 pm


Is keeping old emails in your inbox really the best filing system for stuff that needs to be saved anyway?

Best? No. Of course not. But it is the easiest.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 August, 2022, 10:17:28 pm
Talking of hearing people and given this is the Div thread I thought I might mention it hear1. I’m being hassled to wear my aids a quantity of MOAR at home because Dr Beardy is getting fed up of having to repeat everything three times.


Is this not a case for malicious compliance.

"Yes I am wearing them"

"Are they switched on?"

"um, no"

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 August, 2022, 10:21:03 pm
That's on a par with the KY Jelly/Deep Heat selection error  ;D ;D

. . .  on a serious note, the curve in picture rail looks brilliant.

At uni I learned the hardway. Do not leave lube and "all purpose adhesive" in the same draw of your bedside table... Esp when they are both mostly white tubes.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 21 August, 2022, 12:43:15 am
Half the problem with standard 'behind the ear' hearing aid is that ear moulds or even the more modern domes are not that comfortable to wear all day every day. Ears get sweaty and itchy when full of unexpected silicone or other materials.

So having the hearing aids in and off defeats half the point of wearing them AND makes you deafer as your ears are somewhat blocked.

At least when I have my BAHAs clipped in, I can't feel them, so only have to make sure I don't accidentally dunk em in the bath/shower. Kim knows seeing BAHAs in my head doesn't mean I can hear her. I might be in pseudo-mute or being turned off entirely.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 August, 2022, 08:50:18 am
Bing!  Just realized that by adding board after board to the barn door I'm going to end up working in the dark.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 August, 2022, 10:19:02 am
Three pieces of divvery from me yesterday, all bike related.

1. What happens if you leave water in your bottles for a fortnight? They go slimy and grow algae. Except that in umpty years of doing this, that has never happened. What happens if you leave water in your bottles for a fortnight in an exceptional heatwave? They go slimy and grow algae. Except that in practice, that did not happen. What happens if you leave water in your bottles for a fortnight in an exceptional heatwave and the bottle is transparent? They go slimy and grow algae. Yes, this one did happen.

2. Winding my way up this hill, just here:
https://goo.gl/maps/WK49y5dHxQEsD4yC6
my attention was distracted by a sign in the property on the right saying "Buy me". This started me singing, thinking of but not to the tune of, Blondie's "Call me". So enthusiastically was I singing that I forgot about gears altogether. See that hairpin bend? Imagine how the gradient must increase on that tight radius? Yes...

3. I got a puncture. This is not divvery in itself. Easily located the hole, a tear about 4mm long, bigger than normal but should be patchable. Extract things from tool case – no patches! Fortunately I had a spare tube and all the other necessaries. Equally fortunately I did not get a second puncture.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 21 August, 2022, 10:58:48 am
I took tw drinks bottles with me to Nottingham last week for my summer school. One has a screw top and is vacuum-lines so keeps the water cold. The other is a standard cycling bottle with a nipple I can grasp with my teeth whilst driving. (oo werr, I hear you say). I left the latter in the car for the duration of the week.

I came to fill it on Saturday last weekend for my journey back, and gave it a squeezde. My fingers went straight through the side of the bottle and launched loverly fresh water down my shirt.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 August, 2022, 11:35:58 am
Wow, Wow! Had it just softened in the heat – must have got pretty hot in a closed car – or do you think there was some UV degradation of the plastic?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 21 August, 2022, 11:51:39 am
Maybe cut your nails?  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 August, 2022, 12:15:05 pm
I find that plastic bottles cure and split after a few years' use. Might indeed be UV in my case - wouldn't expect it inside a car though.

In re bottledivvery, when mine split I replaced it with one of these new high-falutin' fancified efforts with a soft teat. First time I used it I held it horizontally, pulled the teat up with my teeth in the usual manner and squeezed at the same time. The teat popped up a wee bit then deformed and slipped out of my teeth, and I squirted myself in the face.

Nowadays I'm using Elite Corsa Classic 950 ml. None of your soft teatery there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 August, 2022, 01:13:16 pm
One of my YACF bottles (the one that's seen most use) has developed several hairline fractures over a short period.  I should really bin it, but I keep using it for local trips where I don't really need water[1] and as a convenient container for measuring the amount of water I fill my 4-litre bag with.

My recent act of bottledivvery involves a cheap freebie from a German bike parts supplier.  It has a dubious push-fit lid, rather than the usual screw on type.  I'd failed to push-fit it hard enough, and managed to squeeze half its contents all over myself and the front seat of the car.


[1] I'm of the opinion that it's always worth having some plain water on the bike, in case of grubby mechanicals or having to wash beasties out of your eye or whatever.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 August, 2022, 01:18:47 pm
Agreed on the usefulness of having water with you. I'm also coming to the conclusion opinion that bigger bottles are better, as long as you've got room for them, and that it might be better to have one bike bottle (with teat, soft or not – I wasn't aware there was a difference) and one bottle with a screw top, as not only do they tend to be bigger, they also tend not to impart any taste (once you've rinsed out the juice or coke or whatever came in it) and it's harder to spill them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 21 August, 2022, 02:03:19 pm
Plasticizers can migrate. Imperfectly-stabilised plastics change their properties over time. Increased temperatures increase the rate of chemical reactions (usually double for every 10 degrees higher). Some chemical processes have an energy/ temperature threshold. All of this sort of polymer knowledge is well beyond my understanding, so I could be very wrong.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 August, 2022, 02:16:33 pm
Plasticizers can migrate. Imperfectly-stabilised plastics change their properties over time. Increased temperatures increase the rate of chemical reactions (usually double for every 10 degrees higher). Some chemical processes have an energy/ temperature threshold. All of this sort of polymer knowledge is well beyond my understanding, so I could be very wrong.

Presumably into the water and thence into us, where they imitate hormones and cause us to end up in the Guardian's Environment pages.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 25 August, 2022, 07:48:56 pm
Grrr children taking selfies with my phone was the jist of my grumble yesterday

Er no love the wife pointed out, I told you to take pictures of kids incase they got separated on ferry so could show what they are wearing

Both divvy on my part and smart thinking on wife's
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 27 August, 2022, 07:29:30 pm
A couple of days after Mrs n poured a cup of chamomile tea over the computer keyboard I wasted most of a glass of LaChouffe on the very same keyboard. It is now in the yard drying off after being rinsed under the tap. With a bit of luck it'll still function.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 28 August, 2022, 12:19:54 pm
I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 28 August, 2022, 01:20:32 pm


Can bikes breed?

I've not been down in the basement in months. It's basically home to some old computers, a load of empty moving boxes belonging to my housemate, a very old "project" bike that I brought from the UK, my housemates old racing bike. And today I discovered. A Dutch city bike. My housemates deny knowledge of it's existence. So I'm guessing either I picked it up from a friend who was getting rid of it, thinking it'd make a nice winter project...

Or my bikes are breeding...

Either way I'm a bloody idiot for not knowing how many bikes I own...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 August, 2022, 07:19:55 am
I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 29 August, 2022, 09:33:36 pm


Making a coffee and walnut cake. Stuck the tins with cake mix in the oven. Turned round, found the tub with the raising agent in sat in the counter. Oh bollocks.

Take tins out. Dump contents. Rinse. Repeat. Made another batch. Remembered the raising agent this time.

Now I wait with it in the oven.

J
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 30 August, 2022, 07:00:37 am



Now I wait with it in the oven.

J

I read that as if you were sitting beside it, also in the oven. In which case i'm hoping you forgot to switch it on.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 August, 2022, 07:25:30 am
Coffee & walnut sounds good. Wonder what happens to the caffeine - does it break down at baking temperatures?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 August, 2022, 12:01:43 pm
No, div, that song is not called “Cinnamon Girl & Crazy Horse” :facepalm:  Pay attention to your pasting…
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 01 September, 2022, 08:33:09 am
I went swimming before work and forgot to take a bra.


Yes I know bras aren't compulsory and women shouldn't feel they have to wear them but I'm a big woman and I'm not comfortable in a work environment without
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 01 September, 2022, 11:54:44 am
I went swimming before work and forgot to take a bra.


Yes I know bras aren't compulsory and women shouldn't feel they have to wear them but I'm a big woman and I'm not comfortable in a work environment without

Duct tape is your friend  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 03 September, 2022, 07:24:58 am
Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 03 September, 2022, 09:12:09 am
Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?
Age! It’s a sign. You’re getting old.  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 03 September, 2022, 09:43:10 am
Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?
Age! It’s a sign. You’re getting old.  :demon:

No, you don't have to be old.  My son once made macaroni cheese, but forgot the macaroni.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 03 September, 2022, 10:53:11 am
Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?
Age! It’s a sign. You’re getting old.  :demon:

No, you don't have to be old.  My son once made macaroni cheese, but forgot the macaroni.

Not so forgettable afterwards thobut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 September, 2022, 09:38:42 am
Yes well.  Absolutely beautiful cycling day, 15°C with a max of 28° forecast and light wind.  But no, must get on with the barn door.  Went out after breakfast, got set up and drove screws for a solid hour, inside to out. Then MrsT comes home from shopping, looks at what I've done and says "but you already did those from the other side".

Closed everything up, came in, had an espresso. Have to go get some more screws now mañana. Nah, Wednesday. Or next week. Fuck it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 05 September, 2022, 01:12:05 pm
I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.

Hadn't appeared before it was time to leave on Monday afternoon so I suspect that it was being used by someone till the end of the festival. Unfortunately we left before they handed it in.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 September, 2022, 10:23:17 am
Took the top plate off the diesel stove last night; this involves jamming a screwdriver down a hole, wedging it, and lifting enough to get a hand under.

Slipped with the screwdriver and dropped it on my finger, didn't I?

Thought I'd broken it at first - the top is about 10kg.  Seems to just be bruised. Thank goodness I'd had the sense to put some gloves on first.

Div.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 08 September, 2022, 10:57:36 am
A full tube of tomato paste dropped out of the fridge as I opened the door. Instinctive reaction was to stop it hitting the deck with my (bare) foot. Ouch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 09 September, 2022, 09:58:04 am
A full tube of tomato paste dropped out of the fridge as I opened the door. Instinctive reaction was to stop it hitting the deck with my (bare) foot. Ouch.

At least it wasn't salad cream (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Beasant#:~:text=During%20the%201993%E2%80%9394%20season%20Beasant%20sustained%20an%20unusual,result%2C%20he%20missed%20eight%20weeks%20of%20the%20season.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 September, 2022, 10:03:41 am
I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.
Oh dear, ED, please tell us you had forgotten it at a wayside coffee stop, not that you were danglemugging.  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 09 September, 2022, 10:16:28 am
A full tube of tomato paste dropped out of the fridge as I opened the door. Instinctive reaction was to stop it hitting the deck with my (bare) foot. Ouch.

At least it wasn't salad cream (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Beasant#:~:text=During%20the%201993%E2%80%9394%20season%20Beasant%20sustained%20an%20unusual,result%2C%20he%20missed%20eight%20weeks%20of%20the%20season.)
Owwwwww!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 11 September, 2022, 06:34:45 pm
I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.
Oh dear, ED, please tell us you had forgotten it at a wayside coffee stop, not that you were danglemugging.  :D

I was on tour, of course I was danglemugging  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 September, 2022, 05:03:53 pm
Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 September, 2022, 05:11:58 pm
I placed my tilly hat into the straps on the outside of my backpack but didn't tighten the elastic. On backtracking there was no sight of it so now I have to hope it is handed in to lost property.

Hopefully it will appear, I had a stroke of luck last week when the trio following me on the KAW picked up my errant coffee mug and handed it back to me at the pub we were all staying at.
Oh dear, ED, please tell us you had forgotten it at a wayside coffee stop, not that you were danglemugging.  :D

I was on tour, of course I was danglemugging  :D
Okay, totally serious question: Don't you find the mug gets muddy or dusty, depending on weather and terrain? Also, doesn't it "clink" as it dangles and comes into contact with luggage. bits of bike frame, or whatever?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 13 September, 2022, 05:22:32 pm
Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.
Is there a right bit ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 September, 2022, 06:24:27 pm
Okay, totally serious question: Don't you find the mug gets muddy or dusty, depending on weather and terrain? Also, doesn't it "clink" as it dangles and comes into contact with luggage. bits of bike frame, or whatever?

On the few occasions that I've been mugpacking[1], I've found that dust accumulation was a minor issue, though that was on-road in dry weather.  Really needs a little draw-string bag that isn't the mesh one that Alpkit provided.


[1] Mug strapped to a random bit of bike frame, with brew-up kit inside.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 13 September, 2022, 07:33:14 pm
Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 13 September, 2022, 07:45:27 pm
Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?
Normally only the ‘right’ bit of his shorts apparently
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 13 September, 2022, 08:26:08 pm
Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?
Normally only the ‘right’ bit of his shorts apparently
Laquer on the knackers is best avoided.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 September, 2022, 08:44:02 pm
Just did that thing again where my spidey sense belatedly alerted me to a crime in progress ("Hang on - is that the sound of a power drill punctuating that car alarm?"), and proceeded to watch like an idiot without the aid of  a) my glasses  or  b) a camera.

From the conversation I overheard afterwards, it sounds like a passerby got a registration number, which is a lot more useful than the "They went thattaway" that I could contribute.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 13 September, 2022, 08:44:30 pm
Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.

You varnish your shorts?
Normally only the ‘right’ bit of his shorts apparently
Laquer on the knackers is best avoided.

Ah - but it does add lustre to the cluster  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 September, 2022, 09:09:16 pm
Just did that thing again where my spidey sense belatedly alerted me to a crime in progress ("Hang on - is that the sound of a power drill punctuating that car alarm?"), and proceeded to watch like an idiot without the aid of  a) my glasses  or  b) a camera.

From the conversation I overheard afterwards, it sounds like a passerby got a registration number, which is a lot more useful than the "They went thattaway" that I could contribute.

Owner of the car has returned, started it, noted the horrendous noise, stopped it, dawdled about on their phone for a few minutes, then started it again and driven off.  Given the state of the exhaust, I belatedly realise that I didn't mishear someone exclaiming "He's got the cat!", and all becomes clear.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 September, 2022, 07:57:27 am
Got varnish onto exactly the wrong bit of my shorts.
Is there a right bit ?

No, but some are worse than others.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 16 September, 2022, 07:14:27 am
Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?
I forgot the egg in a bara brith once, couldn't figure out why it was taking so long for the skewer to come out clean. By the time I gave up it was roughly the same shade on top as good Welsh coal and could have been given as a prize at Paris Roubaix.
It got eaten, took some effort thobut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 16 September, 2022, 08:28:54 am
Almost too mundane for here, but exactly HOW many years have I been baking bread ? (ans: very lots). I bake 2 x 750g of flour big loaves at least once a week. How in the name of the sainted Delia did I manage to leave out the salt?

I've done that.  Once.  A mistake never to be repeated!

Because I start with an autolyse it is easier than you might imagine to forget the salt.  I changed my routine to leaving a ramekin with the salt in it beside the autolyse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 16 September, 2022, 09:11:05 am
This could go in so many places and not really divvery but anyway

Yesterday morning littlest monkey decided she wanted to use the apple corer/peeler but wouldn't work and I didnt have time to deal with. Last night looked at and realised she was trying to use the spiraliser not the apple corer
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 September, 2022, 05:32:08 pm
Yesterday I met some cousins. One of my cousins told this tale in which her husband committed arguably three instances of divvery culminating in an instance of great misfortunate coincidence.

He went for a long bike ride. This is the last good bit. Getting back home, he was too tired to put his bike away, so left it in the car. This was his first and arguably greatest mistake. He also left his wallet in the car. Mistake number two. Mistake number three was not paying attention to the texts from his bank that subsequently arrived in the middle of the night.

Waking up next morning, he tries to remember where he left the bike. Oh, it was in the car. Goes out to car. It is missing a window and the bike, and his wallet. Checks his phone. Looks like the thief has maxed out his bank card on cigarettes and scratch cards (it is not know whether he won anything). So he drives to the police station to report the thefts and...

...while he's in the police station, a random motorist crashes into his parked car, writing it off. The driver, who hadn't been wearing a seat belt, was found staggering around with blood pouring down his face and only wearing one shoe. "We'll call an ambulance. Sit down here and get your injuries seen to till it arrives." "I don't need an ambulance!" Jumps into car and drives off. Leaving my cousin's husband without bike, wallet or functional car, all in the space of 12 hours.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 September, 2022, 09:46:33 am
Measured the diameter of a thistle in our garden (110 cm), then let the tape roll back into its case. Realized with 40 cm to go that the thistle was dripping from last night's rain and I'd run a healthy dose back in with it. Now have to dry the thing out.  :(

Or ignore it. It's not a tape I'm fond of (Stanley Powerlock) and if it rusts I can get a new one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 28 September, 2022, 02:11:46 pm
Measured the diameter of a thistle in our garden

That demands an explanation!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 28 September, 2022, 02:16:56 pm
110cm?  Blimey.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 28 September, 2022, 02:48:07 pm
Measured the diameter of a thistle in our garden

That demands an explanation!

It was a little tasty patch he was keeping for his birthday, but, after all, what ARE birthdays? Here today and gone tomorrow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 September, 2022, 04:46:15 pm
I needed to fit a kayak hoist to get MrsC's kayak out of the way.

Lots of faff, including discovering that the supplied rope is too short.

Brackets up, more rope arrives, I get up ladders and thread 30m of rope around pulleys. Did I mention I don't like going up ladders and this is at the very top of a long double extension ladder?

Pat on back, job done. Try hoisting. Nope, won't work. Because the pulleys are designed to work when horizontal, and I've screwed them to sloping rafters.

Going to have to make some wooden wedges, fasten those VERY securely, then move the brackets.

I kind of knew this might happen, but didn't want to have to make and fasten the wedges.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 28 September, 2022, 04:50:02 pm
That is good to know as I've been pondering whether it would be possible to put one of those pully clothes drying things in the understair cupboard. Possibly not then...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 September, 2022, 05:04:35 pm
Measured the diameter of a thistle in our garden

That demands an explanation!

This one here:

(https://pbase.com/johnewing/image/173004175.jpg)

MrsT has a wild-flower plot and this appeared in it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 September, 2022, 05:38:17 pm
That is good to know as I've been pondering whether it would be possible to put one of those pully clothes drying things in the understair cupboard. Possibly not then...

They are considerably more tolerant of odd angles.

the kayak thing has sheet metal sides around the pulleys, hence rope exiting at an angle rubs on the side.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 28 September, 2022, 06:37:35 pm
There’s generally two ways to source components for a pulley system, cheaply or right. Cheap blocks are usually constructed with fixed sheaves and need to be installed perpendicular to the floor, better blocks can be suspended by a single point, but these are generally sold as sailing accessories and are thus very much more expensive.

I’ve found the best ones to get for lighter loads (cycles, kayaks and the like) are those that are copy’s of old fashioned ones used for creels (clothes racks), becasue these have a single (longish) screw attached to the sheaves and frame and can thus be screwed in at an angle to the ceiling.

(Search for Pulley Maid if you’re looking)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 28 September, 2022, 07:13:47 pm
Anything with 'boat' in the product description automatically qualifies the seller to double the price (at least).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 September, 2022, 08:46:00 am
Anything with 'boat' in the product description automatically qualifies the seller to double the price (at least).

I once read that a boat was a wooden shape in the water, into which one poured money.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 29 September, 2022, 09:04:06 am
Anything with 'boat' in the product description automatically qualifies the seller to double the price (at least).

I once read that a boat was a wooden shape in the water, into which one poured money.

Bung
On
Another
Thousand
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 01 October, 2022, 09:22:19 am
Having completed a more important than usual (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=71021.msg2755625#msg2755625) backup of my NAS did I put it in the fire safe in a separate building?  No I did not, I left it sat next to the NAS just backed up.  Pillock 'tween.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 01 October, 2022, 07:45:07 pm
Lawnmower blade needs sharpening. I take it off, look at it; loads of dings and blunt bits. Using the bench grinder will be quick.

Run extension cord over, where are my safety glasses? Not on shelves, not in the endless piles of crap.

Bugger.

Well, I'll be really careful, don't want to damage my (very expensive) glasses.

Start grinding. Something in the way, that's annoying. What is it?

Oh. The strap of the safety glasses. Sensibly hung on the grinder for use.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 02 October, 2022, 05:27:12 pm
Went for a ride this morning, got about 5km down the road and wondered why I was feeling the cutout of the Brooks. Then I remembered, I was going to go out on the recumbent, but took the Fairlight instead to try it with a bar bag.

I don't wear padded shorts for the recumbent, forgot that I was wearing compression shorts under the MTB shorts
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 08 October, 2022, 03:22:42 pm
Two in close succession

Firstly wandered to lidl for some pizza toppings and beer to go with pizza I'm making for dinner, get through till, open wallet. Bollocks cards are in pocket of work jacket which is at home. Thankfully it's only five minutes walk to shoot home and get card

Decide to do some gardening and plant out some kale my mum gave me, my youngest loves an ice cream so we put the sticks in a jar to use for plant labels. I'm merrily potting out and think why is there a jar lid in my raised bed and chuck the lid down the garden towards bin. Thankfully found it once I'd realised
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 October, 2022, 03:29:01 pm
Spent a half-hour this morning hunting through chest, boxes & bags for my Paclite rain jacket, the red one that sticks out like a sore thumb. Finally MrsT goes "ooh, what's that?" and picks up a black zipped pouch. Me: but that's black, mine's re-... mine bundles down into the back pocket which is, er, black.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 13 October, 2022, 11:10:20 am
Realised about halfway to the station that I'd left my glasses at home this morning. Aaarrrrgghh!!

To compound the annoyance, the train was delayed so I probably would have had time to go home and pick them up.  >:(

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Goldcrank on 13 October, 2022, 12:09:03 pm
Realised about halfway to the station that I'd left my glasses at home this morning. Aaarrrrgghh!!

To compound the annoyance, the train was delayed so I probably would have had time to go home and pick them up.  >:(

I have a collection of pound shop ones in my bag as I would not be able to work without some glasses. - They're not very good, but they will do in pinch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 13 October, 2022, 12:24:11 pm
Realised about halfway to the station that I'd left my glasses at home this morning. Aaarrrrgghh!!

To compound the annoyance, the train was delayed so I probably would have had time to go home and pick them up.  >:(

I have a collection of pound shop ones in my bag as I would not be able to work without some glasses. - They're not very good, but they will do in pinch.
I have a pair that live at work permanently. Which was all very well until the first lockdown, when I broke the ones I  have at home. At that time work was a six train return ride from home to work and back again. Or an £80.00 mini cab ride  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 13 October, 2022, 12:54:41 pm
I would keep a pair at work but I don't have anywhere to store them (the joy of hotdesking).

I only need glasses for reading, fortunately. I might see if there's a meeting room free - I'll be fine if I can sit at one end of the room and use the big screen at the opposite end...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 14 October, 2022, 08:20:55 am
My daily 'breakfast' is a protein shake comprising milk, protein powder and bananas.

We're out of bananas. I thought I'd use some frozen mango chunks we have in the freezer.


It tastes rank. It was butternut squash.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 14 October, 2022, 08:25:14 am
My daily 'breakfast' is a protein shake comprising milk, protein powder and bananas.

We're out of bananas. I thought I'd use some frozen mango chunks we have in the freezer.


It tastes rank. It was butternut squash.

While I realise one shouldn't laugh at another's misfortune that just made me laugh out loud
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 October, 2022, 09:21:40 am
Once I'd cleaned my breakfast off my keyboard (thanks, fboab), I want to nominate Every Single Person (all highly paid and 'presumably' intelligent engineers) who replied All to an email to the entire company.

FFS
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 14 October, 2022, 09:54:30 am
Once I'd cleaned my breakfast off my keyboard (thanks, fboab), I want to nominate Every Single Person (all highly paid and 'presumably' intelligent engineers) who replied All to an email to the entire company.

FFS

Presumably followed by a flurry of emails to everyone saying please don't use reply all? A similar cascade actually brought the email system to a grinding halt at a place I used to work. And for once I wasn't involved
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 October, 2022, 11:51:36 am
My daily 'breakfast' is a protein shake comprising milk, protein powder and bananas.

We're out of bananas. I thought I'd use some frozen mango chunks we have in the freezer.


It tastes rank. It was butternut squash.

While I realise one shouldn't laugh at another's misfortune that just made me laugh out loud

+1

Didn't see the punchline coming at all.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 October, 2022, 12:36:32 pm
Once I'd cleaned my breakfast off my keyboard (thanks, fboab), I want to nominate Every Single Person (all highly paid and 'presumably' intelligent engineers) who replied All to an email to the entire company.

FFS

Presumably followed by a flurry of emails to everyone saying please don't use reply all? A similar cascade actually brought the email system to a grinding halt at a place I used to work. And for once I wasn't involved

Immoralized aboard my last mothership as #reutersreplyallgate
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 14 October, 2022, 01:13:19 pm
Once I'd cleaned my breakfast off my keyboard (thanks, fboab), I want to nominate Every Single Person (all highly paid and 'presumably' intelligent engineers) who replied All to an email to the entire company.

FFS

Presumably followed by a flurry of emails to everyone saying please don't use reply all? A similar cascade actually brought the email system to a grinding halt at a place I used to work. And for once I wasn't involved

Immoralized aboard my last mothership as #reutersreplyallgate

The same incident I believe. I mean it could only happen once couldn’t it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 14 October, 2022, 01:17:28 pm
Wasn't half the problem when the NHS computers got taken out a few years back by the I love you virus everyone replying saying remove me from this
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 October, 2022, 02:21:28 pm
I expect any mail system inhabited by more than a few users who lack either common sense, an ability to read or an understanding of exponential growth has suffered this problem at some point.

When I was a PSO, the entire Brizzle Uni mail system ground to a halt after someone worked out how to CC all the course mailing lists into a message advertising their event, and people kept reply-alling to the reply-allers telling them not to reply-all.  Those of us whose email was stored on the better-resourced engineering faculty server got to watch the fall-out in slow motion...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 October, 2022, 02:34:50 pm
Once I'd cleaned my breakfast off my keyboard (thanks, fboab), I want to nominate Every Single Person (all highly paid and 'presumably' intelligent engineers) who replied All to an email to the entire company.

FFS

Presumably followed by a flurry of emails to everyone saying please don't use reply all? A similar cascade actually brought the email system to a grinding halt at a place I used to work. And for once I wasn't involved

Immoralized aboard my last mothership as #reutersreplyallgate

The same incident I believe. I mean it could only happen once couldn’t it?

I pretty sure it probably did, but that one was epic, especially when 'more senior' people piled on telling everyone to stop. I got popcorn to watch it unfold. I believe they had to ban people talking about it on social media.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 14 October, 2022, 03:04:51 pm
Once I'd cleaned my breakfast off my keyboard (thanks, fboab), I want to nominate Every Single Person (all highly paid and 'presumably' intelligent engineers) who replied All to an email to the entire company.

FFS

Presumably followed by a flurry of emails to everyone saying please don't use reply all? A similar cascade actually brought the email system to a grinding halt at a place I used to work. And for once I wasn't involved

Immoralized aboard my last mothership as #reutersreplyallgate

The same incident I believe. I mean it could only happen once couldn’t it?

I pretty sure it probably did, but that one was epic, especially when 'more senior' people piled on telling everyone to stop. I got popcorn to watch it unfold. I believe they had to ban people talking about it on social media.

Yes it was fun to watch, seem to rember someone running round our floor telling us not to respond because the system was so clogged up that the official instruction couldn’t get through. It was shortly afterwards that they limited access to the global address lists
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 October, 2022, 03:06:04 pm
Once I'd cleaned my breakfast off my keyboard (thanks, fboab), I want to nominate Every Single Person (all highly paid and 'presumably' intelligent engineers) who replied All to an email to the entire company.

FFS

Presumably followed by a flurry of emails to everyone saying please don't use reply all? A similar cascade actually brought the email system to a grinding halt at a place I used to work. And for once I wasn't involved

Immoralized aboard my last mothership as #reutersreplyallgate

The same incident I believe. I mean it could only happen once couldn’t it?

I pretty sure it probably did, but that one was epic, especially when 'more senior' people piled on telling everyone to stop. I got popcorn to watch it unfold. I believe they had to ban people talking about it on social media.

The cascade begins . . .

There are now more "stop replying to all" emails than people saying "Why did I get this email".

One light in the darkness; it is only going to 4300 people, not the entire company.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 14 October, 2022, 03:06:48 pm
Here it is https://www.cbsnews.com/news/reply-all-email-catastrophe-hits-thomson-reuters/ (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/reply-all-email-catastrophe-hits-thomson-reuters/)

I’m not Vince and neither is my wife
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 October, 2022, 03:19:34 pm
Here it is https://www.cbsnews.com/news/reply-all-email-catastrophe-hits-thomson-reuters/ (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/reply-all-email-catastrophe-hits-thomson-reuters/)

I’m not Vince and neither is my wife

For the record, neither am I.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 October, 2022, 03:35:16 pm
ISTR another one of those back in the late 90's or early naughties.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 October, 2022, 04:47:18 pm
Also, I don't work there anymore, so if it happens again, it's still not me either.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 October, 2022, 06:33:25 pm
Serves 'em right for sending my job to India :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 14 October, 2022, 07:07:03 pm
I haven't seen a 'don't reply all' email for years.

Also +1 to fboab thanks for the chortle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 October, 2022, 09:09:14 pm
Did half this group work for Thomson Reuters? If so I might have been literally your Tidy Haired Thought Leader™.

It is possible I made them do it. I can't remember what I was doing there in 2015, but you probably say that of any year.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 October, 2022, 01:01:16 am
They were still plain Thomson when they sent my job to India in June 2006.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 15 October, 2022, 01:47:25 am
I joined Thomson in, erm, summer 2006. Involuntarily mind.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 October, 2022, 02:09:56 am
I started working for MAID in 1997 and ended up (not) working for Thomson, having also worked for Dialog in the middle.  All without changing jobs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 15 October, 2022, 03:14:08 am
Neither my arrival at Thomson, nor my departure from Thomson Reuters were entirely voluntary either.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 15 October, 2022, 06:07:33 am
Wasn't employed directly, but my job  went to Thailand in 2003 when it was decided that the software we wrote for Reuters could be better handled by cheaper people. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 15 October, 2022, 09:27:51 am
I started working for MAID in 1997 and ended up (not) working for Thomson, having also worked for Dialog in the middle.  All without changing jobs.

Ah - with Dan Wagner . . .  I recollect meeting him sometime in the MAID or Dialog days when he turned up wearing a bizarre waistcoat printed with a cartoon picture of a penguin.  WTF?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 15 October, 2022, 11:28:26 am
Worked for a start-up that got acquired by Thomson, which became Thomson Reuters, then I ended up in the healthcare and science division that was hived off and bought up by the usual bunch of bankers and given a name that sounded like a spot cream (branding goal unlocked!)

Not without some irony, that bit of ex-Thomson has now re-acquired Dialog.

Thomson had the best parties in Florida every January though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 October, 2022, 11:43:30 am
I started working for MAID in 1997 and ended up (not) working for Thomson, having also worked for Dialog in the middle.  All without changing jobs.

Ah - with Dan Wagner . . .  I recollect meeting him sometime in the MAID or Dialog days when he turned up wearing a bizarre waistcoat printed with a cartoon picture of a penguin.  WTF?

He could be a bit of an oddball with regard to his weskits, but otoh he used to buy everybody ice cream when the office got too warm and the sound of his V8 Vantage with the RS Williams big-bore engine conversion in the underground car park will stay with me to the grave.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 17 October, 2022, 06:02:48 pm
Fitting new tyres to the staff transport (a.k.a. our cleaning lady's bike) I let down the tube by removing the Schraeder valve core . . . . fitted new tyre and refitted tube, applied pump to seat tyre etc - remove pump head with large gust of air . . .  WTF - ah, replacing the valve core would have been a good idea  ::-)

It got worse, second tyre fitted but the tube must have been trapped by the tyre bead resulting in a bit of a bang . . . .  I didn't have any 6" long patches to repair the split in the tube  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 19 October, 2022, 09:55:34 am
Forgot to put the paddle in the breadmaker when I set it up last night.  No nice warm loaf for breakfast then .   :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 19 October, 2022, 10:43:46 am
Bah !  I've done that too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 19 October, 2022, 12:52:46 pm
I think everyone who owns a bread machine has done it. At least once.

DAMHIKT
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 19 October, 2022, 01:00:24 pm
Fitting new tyres to the staff transport (a.k.a. our cleaning lady's bike) I let down the tube by removing the Schraeder valve core . . . . fitted new tyre and refitted tube, applied pump to seat tyre etc - remove pump head with large gust of air . . .  WTF - ah, replacing the valve core would have been a good idea  ::-)

It got worse, second tyre fitted but the tube must have been trapped by the tyre bead resulting in a bit of a bang . . . .  I didn't have any 6" long patches to repair the split in the tube  :(

You any good at cleaning?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 19 October, 2022, 03:01:56 pm
Fitting new tyres to the staff transport (a.k.a. our cleaning lady's bike) I let down the tube by removing the Schraeder valve core . . . . fitted new tyre and refitted tube, applied pump to seat tyre etc - remove pump head with large gust of air . . .  WTF - ah, replacing the valve core would have been a good idea  ::-)

It got worse, second tyre fitted but the tube must have been trapped by the tyre bead resulting in a bit of a bang . . . .  I didn't have any 6" long patches to repair the split in the tube  :(

You any good at cleaning?

All was not lost I had a spare tube in stock (albeit a 27.5/650 that I put in a 700 wheel - only one I had with the right valve - it worked)   Maria picked up the bike, pleased as punch . . .  and asked if she could bring her "spare bike" for some attention ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 October, 2022, 03:06:28 pm
Forgot to put the paddle in the breadmaker when I set it up last night.  No nice warm loaf for breakfast then .   :(
But did you put the yeast in?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 October, 2022, 10:12:33 am
Yesterday I phoned for a taxi to take me to the station. "Which station?" asked the voice on the line. "New Street station?" This should have rung alarm bells as I was in fact in Shipley, which is near Bradford and not at all near Mordor Central or any of Brum's other stations. But at this point I FD'ed. In my slight defence, Shipley station is on a triangle, with not only platforms but distinct buildings on two separate lines (one stub into Bradford, the other from Leeds on to Skipton and over the Pennines) and the platforms on the latter line are much newer than the others. So perhaps it was referred to locally as New Station? But no, I had of course dialled the wrong code, misreading a 7 as a 1. It was just chance that the same number in a different area was also allocated to a taxi.

Except, it got me thinking, it wasn't really chance, was it? A repetitive series of easily remembered numbers is likely to be a taxi or similar business. Probably you could try the same number preceded by almost any area code and get a taxi...

AA Carz (sic), Shipley: 01274 584444 if you want to play along on your own bill!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 26 October, 2022, 10:24:32 am
A repetitive series of easily remembered numbers is likely to be a taxi or similar business. Probably you could try the same number preceded by almost any area code and get a taxi...

True that. Some of the local cab firm numbers for Canterbury:
01227 444444
01227 555555
01227 498888
01227 722222

I recommend none of them (honestly, the local taxis are so awful that I have on occasion chosen to walk the five miles home in the rain rather than use any of them).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 October, 2022, 10:57:00 am
This lot did turned up promptly, made appropriate communications ('Your taxi has been dispatched...' 'Your taxi has arrived at your address. Red Toyota Prius registration...') and charged a reasonable fare. None of which negates the fact that 99 times out of 100, it's better to walk anyway.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 October, 2022, 12:36:13 pm
On a related note, having just been jibbling VoIP things, I recently learned that AAISP classify the memorability (and therefore price) of phone numbers according to elements in the periodic table (https://www.aa.net.uk/voice-and-mobile/numbers/), on a range from Tin to that well-known transition metal, Taxi.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 October, 2022, 12:48:13 pm
I recommend none of them (honestly, the local taxis are so awful that I have on occasion chosen to walk the five miles home in the rain rather than use any of them).

When I was a PSO, Aristocars was the preferred option, on the somewhat tragic basis that:

a) They could tell the difference between Cambridge Road and Cambridge Way
b) The drivers weren't impatient with my ex's physical impairments
c) They tended to use moderately posh saloon cars and not drive like nutters, which matters when you have vertigo

They were, however, more expensive than most of the others, and no quicker at turning up.

I note they didn't have a memorable phone number.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 October, 2022, 01:02:39 pm
Two other elements of my FDery were that on my initial misdialling, they didn't answer "AA Carz" but "Castle Cars". I didn't pay any attention to this because I assumed they'd just changed hands or maybe I'd been redirected from the local branch to some national taxi monopoly they had been subsumed into. Or something. And secondly, they answered in an accent that even my southern ears could detect were not broad Yorkshire vowels but squashed Brummie muddy ones. But hey, people move around. However, it turns out that Castle Cars of Birmingham have numerous numbers listed, but none match what I must have dialled: http://castle-cars.co.uk/contact-us/

So, even more redirections!

Unless, of course, I made more dialling mistakes than I thought. I mean, who even makes phone calls nowadays?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 October, 2022, 01:28:25 pm
Two other elements of my FDery were that on my initial misdialling, they didn't answer "AA Carz" but "Castle Cars".

Castle Cars are responsible for altogether too much standing in the cold muttering darkly about not having a Brompton handy.  Obviously I should have got someone in Yorkshire to call them.

They also do a good line in reflexively dispatching taxis to their *other* Typetalk Textrelay Relay UK user.


Further rants about Birmingham taxi firms can be provided by barakta, who has to deal with the worst of them [That'll be TOA then - Ed] in her professional capacity.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 26 October, 2022, 01:32:02 pm
These days I use Uber... Quicker, reliably come to the right place 95% of the time or will move if I say I couldn't walk to RoundTheCorner and no more phonecalls.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 October, 2022, 02:33:28 pm
Two other elements of my FDery were that on my initial misdialling, they didn't answer "AA Carz" but "Castle Cars".

Castle Cars are responsible for altogether too much standing in the cold muttering darkly about not having a Brompton handy.  Obviously I should have got someone in Yorkshire to call them.

They also do a good line in reflexively dispatching taxis to their *other* Typetalk Textrelay Relay UK user.


Further rants about Birmingham taxi firms can be provided by barakta, who has to deal with the worst of them [That'll be TOA then - Ed] in her professional capacity.
Good job Birmingham doesn't have a Wellington Crescent (if google maps is to be believed) or the could have turned up there wanting to take someone to a train station in Yorkshire!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 28 October, 2022, 12:20:26 am
TOA aren't bad. I know the email address for their competent human!  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 October, 2022, 04:55:37 pm
Managed to bring a finger into contact with a Very Extremely Hot Bit of my coffee roaster. It still stings an hour later.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 October, 2022, 08:12:33 pm
No, you div, no matter how long and hard you press the “Mute” button on that remote control* the amplifier will still not switch on :facepalm:

* Yes, it IS the right remote.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 October, 2022, 09:14:10 am
No, you div, no matter how long and hard you press the “Mute” button on that remote control* the amplifier will still not switch on :facepalm:

* Yes, it IS the right remote.

Despair not, fair sir.  A couple of days ago I went half-bonkers trying to use the IR remote release on my camera only to find, after fumbling through menus & half-forgotten external controls, that it was back to front and I was zapping the palm of my hand.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 30 October, 2022, 05:16:31 pm
Posting on behalf of my stepson. About 6 years ago he decided to get his PhD from St Mary’s. And on the back of that went job hunting for his first “proper” job at the age of 42, his prior (and still concurrent) occupation being musician. He landed a job in Berlin, with a multi-cultural company where the common language is English, so he’s never learnt much German, his Hungarian wife being sufficiently proficient. And meantime, because Brexit, he’s become an Irish citizen.

Anyway the company is generous enough to allow its employees (who mostly work from home anyway these days) to spend 3 months of the year working from abroad. So he decides to spend November - January in Air BnB’s in Tenerife, out in the sticks. He’ll just hire a car occasionally. Oh.

His UK photo licence, that he could have exchanged for a German one within his first 6 months in Germany, for the princely sum of €40 (plus attending a first aid course) has expired. And guess what, you can’t renew it unless you’re a resident in the UK. And have to provide the addresses you’ve lived at for t the last 3 years.  ::-)  So now he’s stuck x hoping to be able to use his paper licence to hire a car.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 31 October, 2022, 06:22:23 am
I exchanged my photo licence without having to do the first aid course, but that was before Brexit. Not that this helps your stepson!

Could he use your address to renew the Uk licence - that’s what most expats used to do.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 October, 2022, 08:00:37 am
I exchanged my photo licence without having to do the first aid course, but that was before Brexit. Not that this helps your stepson!

Penny dropped. I've been reading the last two posts thinking they were written by licensed photojournalists. Then: first aid course to take photographs..? Gotcha.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 October, 2022, 08:17:05 am
I exchanged my photo licence without having to do the first aid course, but that was before Brexit. Not that this helps your stepson!

Could he use your address to renew the Uk licence - that’s what most expats used to do.

Yeah, I think his mother will suggest that - but it's too late for this trip as he's flying out on Wednesday!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 31 October, 2022, 07:59:38 pm

His UK photo licence, that he could have exchanged for a German one within his first 6 months in Germany, for the princely sum of €40 (plus attending a first aid course) has expired. And guess what, you can’t renew it unless you’re a resident in the UK. And have to provide the addresses you’ve lived at for t the last 3 years.  ::-)  So now he’s stuck x hoping to be able to use his paper licence to hire a car.

Swapping a UK license for a Dutch one was free. No first aid course required.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 November, 2022, 07:59:02 am
When I did it the first-aid course was only one day. It'd probably be easier to do it and have everything in Ordnung than faff about with other people's addresses etc.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 01 November, 2022, 08:23:16 am
When I did it the first-aid course was only one day. It'd probably be easier to do it and have everything in Ordnung than faff about with other people's addresses etc.

The issue being, if you're not UK resident, you can't renew your UK licence - hence the need for a UK address for the last 3 years.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 November, 2022, 09:20:31 am
When I did it the first-aid course was only one day. It'd probably be easier to do it and have everything in Ordnung than faff about with other people's addresses etc.

The issue being, if you're not UK resident, you can't renew your UK licence - hence the need for a UK address for the last 3 years.

Ah. UK licences expire, then. Ours are for life.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 01 November, 2022, 09:23:07 am
When I did it the first-aid course was only one day. It'd probably be easier to do it and have everything in Ordnung than faff about with other people's addresses etc.

The issue being, if you're not UK resident, you can't renew your UK licence - hence the need for a UK address for the last 3 years.


Ah. UK licences expire, then. Ours are for life.

Yep, Photocard ones expire every 10 years until you pass 70, then I think it's every 3.  From what I googled it seems German ones are valid for 15 years.  Does France not have renewable photocard licences then?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 01 November, 2022, 12:27:15 pm
France does have Carte d'identité, I'm curious to know if they are now plastic, so depriving hordes of traders of the plastification that was a common feature of any market
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 November, 2022, 12:58:48 pm
When I did it the first-aid course was only one day. It'd probably be easier to do it and have everything in Ordnung than faff about with other people's addresses etc.

The issue being, if you're not UK resident, you can't renew your UK licence - hence the need for a UK address for the last 3 years.

Ah. UK licences expire, then. Ours are for life.

Yep, Photocard ones expire every 10 years until you pass 70, then I think it's every 3.  From what I googled it seems German ones are valid for 15 years.  Does France not have renewable photocard licences then?

Unless they've been changing things behind my back they still don't expire.  But we've always had photos on our licences. According to Google they've been plastic, chipped & MRZed since 2013.

France does have Carte d'identité, I'm curious to know if they are now plastic, so depriving hordes of traders of the plastification that was a common feature of any market

Yes, they're plastic, as have been Cartes de Séjour for the past 30 or 40 years.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 01 November, 2022, 06:19:33 pm
Well that was embarrassing.
I just collapsed in a heap in the pub.  :-[
Nothing to do the pint I was consuming, honest.
I'd been sitting with my legs crossed and a wallet full of coins in my back pocket. Jumped up look at something someone wanted to show me on their phone and only realised my leg had gone completely dead as I toppled over.
Much hilarity ensued, along with all the expected comments.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 01 November, 2022, 07:07:33 pm
Be careful! A friend managed to break her arm doing something very similar (only she wasn't in the pub).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 04 November, 2022, 09:39:40 pm
In a rush earlier on in the week, I failed to heed the saying “measure twice, cut once”.   I also must have been half asleep.  Result, the spare spokes that I bought to allow me to replace the two broken ones on my gravel bike are exactly 10mm short!   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 07 November, 2022, 08:16:32 pm
Well that was embarrassing.
I just collapsed in a heap in the pub.  :-[
Nothing to do the pint I was consuming, honest.
I'd been sitting with my legs crossed and a wallet full of coins in my back pocket. Jumped up look at something someone wanted to show me on their phone and only realised my leg had gone completely dead as I toppled over.
Much hilarity ensued, along with all the expected comments.

Was once in a pub with a group most of whom smoked. Several went for a smoke, some went to bar and maybe someone went for a piss leaving me at the table alone. I reclined in my chair forgetting I was in a stool.

Fell backwards but feet hit the table so I'm laid flat with legs under table and arse still on the stool. Sat myself up and looked round crowded pub and somehow no one had noticed
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 07 November, 2022, 10:07:26 pm
Perhaps people falling over in pubs is not totally unknown.  :-D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 November, 2022, 10:12:42 am
In a rush earlier on in the week, I failed to heed the saying “measure twice, cut once”.   I also must have been half asleep.  Result, the spare spokes that I bought to allow me to replace the two broken ones on my gravel bike are exactly 10mm short!   :facepalm:
so in fact, you measured once and cut twice?  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 November, 2022, 10:17:22 am
Perhaps people falling over in pubs is not totally unknown.  :-D
I once demonstrated a parachute landing roll while in a pub, without bothering to get up from the stool I was sitting on. The lady I was performing this demonstration for, was not it turned out, at all impressed with my manly manness. women still remain a mystery to me :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 November, 2022, 11:44:38 am
Back is cramping.
Sitting in the way on my office floor is one of those back roller things - a polystyrene cylinder you are supposed to use under your back.

I give it a go, position it below shoulder blades, roll one way, then the other - OW

I've just rolled it over my hair.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 09 November, 2022, 01:41:19 pm
I remember hair.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 11 November, 2022, 01:16:34 am
please do, i have no issue with veggie food, quite like it a lot of the time and have definitely cut back on meat in the last few years.

Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices (https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices) "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't  >:(

What's your stance on peanut butter?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 11 November, 2022, 01:42:42 am
Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices (https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices) "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't  >:(

What's your stance on peanut butter?

Well, at least it's made from peanuts. If vegetarian bacon was made from vegetarians that would be an entirely different matter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 11 November, 2022, 07:31:14 am
Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices (https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices) "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't  >:(

What's your stance on peanut butter?

Well, at least it's made from peanuts. If vegetarian bacon was made from vegetarians that would be an entirely different matter.

Have to be vegetarian pigs. Otherwise it would be as daft as "turkey bacon".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 11 November, 2022, 09:32:06 am
Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices (https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices) "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't  >:(

What's your stance on peanut butter?

Well, at least it's made from peanuts. If vegetarian bacon was made from vegetarians that would be an entirely different matter.

Have to be vegetarian pigs. Otherwise it would be as daft as "turkey bacon".

Or 'breakfast beef' as I used to see in the Middle East......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 November, 2022, 10:46:29 am
Infidel bacon, as my not-very-observant Muslim colleague used to call porcine bacon.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 11 November, 2022, 05:27:51 pm
All this said, I honestly don't mind the idea that facon is known as vegetarian bacon. Bacon has its literal, cured-pork type definition, but it also has cultural, culinary identity related to the role it plays in a meal.

So if it's there purely to play the role traditionally taken by cured pork, but is suitable for vegetarian, why not call it vegetarian bacon? Everyone knows and understands what it is, and can eat it or leave it as they choose. It just seems a lot simpler and easier than having to call it a non-meat savoury breakfast strip.

If it starts to just be called bacon, and you run the risk of getting it when you want something that tastes like meat, then fair enough - pain in the arse. Like getting a sickly pink alcopop when you've ordered cider. But as long as it badges itself as "strawberry cider" or what the chuff ever, I'll know to avoid it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 11 November, 2022, 06:49:36 pm
Infidel bacon, as my not-very-observant Muslim colleague used to call porcine bacon.

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 12 November, 2022, 12:08:50 am
I don’t care what people call vegan or vegetarian bacon substitute as long as they don’t try and feed it to me!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 November, 2022, 08:30:29 am
I tried some veggie charcuterie the other day and it was OK. Veggie merguez, though, are vile.

As was the real bacon I tried to fry two nights back. Instead of providing its own fat it provided lots of water and boiled itself. :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 12 November, 2022, 02:30:39 pm
So I am part of a group visiting the holy land, we are based this week in Bethlehem. Inevitably our itinerary involves crossing between Israel and the Palestinian occupied territories. These crossings are at checkpoints manned by 18 year old national service troops armed with rifles.

So who managed to drop his metal drinks bottle out the door of the mini bus when it was opened for them to check one of our passports.  :facepalm:

What a nice ringing clang that made, and gave the guard and the rest of our group a nice heart attack.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 12 November, 2022, 02:42:12 pm
An entry on behalf of Dr Beardy…

I’m currently in the process of putting a new bathroom floor down, and have spent the morning cleaning the concrete subfloor. I mixed the PVA with water to make the sealant and had finished brushing that onto the floor. Given that I’m doing a floor, all the associated parifinalia is in the hall.

Dr Beardy, wanting access to the shoe cupboard starts upbraiding me about the stuff being in the hall, and clambering over said tools etc, starts grumpily moving stuffs into an adjacent room. All the while muttering at me about not being able to do anything without causing chaos. She then attempts to step over the bucket of dilute PVA, catches it and upends 3+ litres of sticky stuff all over the floor.

I didn’t laugh, but I might have smiled inwardly as she apologised and cleaned up.   ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 12 November, 2022, 03:38:01 pm
I tried some veggie charcuterie the other day and it was OK. Veggie merguez, though, are vile.

As was the real bacon I tried to fry two nights back. Instead of providing its own fat it provided lots of water and boiled itself. :sick:

I have some not-especially-meaty immediate family (and I numbered among them for a while), so veggie ersatz meat things are pretty commonplace, chez nous. Sausages of various types easy enough to make palatable, I find, and - oddly enough - I've found spicy lamb-esque stuff really pretty good (but then I suppose it tastes of cumin and chilli and whatnot), so I could see merguez being something that could be made to work pretty well.

The bacon...well, it tastes OK, if you try to think of it as not trying to be like actual bacon - like Frazzles don't tast "of bacon": they're a sort of a baconish flavour. I always find though, when cooking it, that it smells like a plastic panhandle has been left overhanging the flame.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 12 November, 2022, 04:42:18 pm
I don't eat pig, so the veggie bacon is actually OK on a sandwich. I don't kid myself it's actual bacon. It's basically a smoke-flavoured slab of plant protein.

Of course, no use if you're cooking with it, since it won't render out fat and stuff. Not being able to throw some pancetta in a ragu still pains me greatly and I've found nothing to substitute.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 12 November, 2022, 04:52:44 pm
Today I was swapping to the winter wheels on my car. I started well, with the front offside. Then I went to do the rear offside and realised that, unlike my summer tyres that just have an “outside” marking, the winter tyres are directional, and I’d not go the right one. No problem, it’ll go on the front nearside. Move all my paraphernalia around and jack up the car. Shit! Where’s the bloody puzzle nut! Now my parking area is basically rough ground with some hogget and patches of grass. Cue 10 minutes of frantic searching, grubbing about in the grass, liberally laced with bramble from the adjacent hedge, untilI find it. Nestled neatly on the end of the matching bolt on the front nearside wheel   ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 November, 2022, 10:50:44 pm
Settles down to watch the F1 highlights. (@&(§, you stupid machine!  Why have you not recorded it?

Because it doesn’t start until 22:55, you div!  Try checking rather than relying on your faulty memory of what you thought TV's Steve Jones said at stupid o’clock this morning  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 November, 2022, 02:13:53 pm
Well, what an interesting morning! I'm usually pretty good at meeting deadlines (apart from anything else, I tend not to take on jobs if I don't think I have enough time) and on the occasions when I know I'm going to be late, I like to keep people informed. They always forgive an overrun, I find, whereas if you don't say in advance, they don't. But I've never before had to write an email saying, "Sorry this job will be late, but my flat's on fire"!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 15 November, 2022, 02:53:50 pm
Yikes! All safe I hope.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 November, 2022, 03:32:11 pm
Well, what an interesting morning! I'm usually pretty good at meeting deadlines (apart from anything else, I tend not to take on jobs if I don't think I have enough time) and on the occasions when I know I'm going to be late, I like to keep people informed. They always forgive an overrun, I find, whereas if you don't say in advance, they don't. But I've never before had to write an email saying, "Sorry this job will be late, but my flat's on fire"!

Ouch.  Hope it's out & flat OK.  If work was on computer be careful, at a place I worked years ago smoke destroyed every functioning disc unit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 November, 2022, 03:46:06 pm
Well you'll notice that I'm still here and my computer's still working. The reason this is in the Fecking Div thread is that the fire was started by me trying to cook lunch, on the hob in the kitchen, while simultaneously sitting at my desk. As such the only casualties were a saucepan, some rice and probably a few more decibels of high-end hearing. Oh, and my stomach!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 November, 2022, 04:29:38 pm
Glad of that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 15 November, 2022, 04:43:55 pm
I think I may've posted before that this:
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51979470480_5756447f5d_4k.jpg) (http://[url=https://flic.kr/p/2ncfnCU) (https://flic.kr/p/2ncfnCU)  (https://www.flickr.com/photos/jurekb/)
is what happens when you put a pizza in the oven, forget about it and go to bed.
Ham and mushroom, seeing as you are asking.
Crusty edge, anyone?  ::-)
ETA Delighted to hear that your drum isn't toast, Cudzo.
A FOREIGN would probably never understand the last sentence
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 November, 2022, 05:18:27 pm
Suitable for framing
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 15 November, 2022, 06:11:46 pm
That looks like the output from a London archaeological dig aimed at investigating the causes of the Great Fire.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 November, 2022, 06:54:38 pm
ETA Delighted to hear that your drum isn't toast, Cudzo.
A FOREIGN would probably never understand the last sentence
I don't think I understand it myself.  :-[

T42 has a good point about your pizza.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 15 November, 2022, 07:02:36 pm
Drum and bass - place.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 15 November, 2022, 07:12:46 pm
Drum and bass - place.

Ooh, that has the ring of a neo-wotsit formation about it.  I'm sure drum got used as a house/dwelling long before bangin' choons were a thing.

(goes off to do web based research)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 November, 2022, 07:16:07 pm
I'm sure it was in use at least as far back as The Sweeney  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 15 November, 2022, 07:29:12 pm
Both Tim and Larrers are correct.
In this instance.
ETA: Screw someone's drum = Burgle their house...
I've no idea of the origin of the phrase....
S'interesting... I've done some delving and, in keeping with Hatler's suggestion, it does go back to drum n' bass. However, my knowledge of it goes back way beyond that. I used to work with Grant Roffey in the 80's. Grant was ex-MET, and he used the expression all the time. Grant is currently married to Julie Walters (Yes, that Julie Walters) and busy being an organic farmer somewhere in Kent.
Claim to fame thread>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 15 November, 2022, 08:06:38 pm
All is revealed - https://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/drum_and_bass#:~:text=Drum%20and%20Bass%20is%20Cockney%20slang%20for%20Place.&text=The%20word%20drum%20was%20originally,to%20only%20mean%20the%20home.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 15 November, 2022, 08:09:41 pm
All is revealed - https://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/drum_and_bass#:~:text=Drum%20and%20Bass%20is%20Cockney%20slang%20for%20Place.&text=The%20word%20drum%20was%20originally,to%20only%20mean%20the%20home.
Every day is a school day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 November, 2022, 11:40:46 pm
Moreover, another source claims it originated with the Romani word “drom”, meaning “road”.  This Unit cannot vouch for the accuracy of this statement but en-gb has form for pinching and lightly modifying Romani words for e.g “posh” and “[“Poisonous term” – Ed.]”.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 November, 2022, 12:47:43 pm
Every day is indeed a school day. It's almost – but really not – worth starting a kitchen fire to learn this.

I'm now wondering if 'drom' for 'road' could have given rise to 'drum up' for making tea on the road?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 16 November, 2022, 02:32:40 pm
Every day is indeed a school day. It's almost – but really not – worth starting a kitchen fire to learn this.

I'm now wondering if 'drom' for 'road' could have given rise to 'drum up' for making tea on the road?

Ooh, good call. Bonus points for a bit of Ob. cycling too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 November, 2022, 03:31:47 pm
Every day is indeed a school day. It's almost – but really not – worth starting a kitchen fire to learn this.

I'm now wondering if 'drom' for 'road' could have given rise to 'drum up' for making tea on the road?

Chambers sez "achieve something by persuasion" so if you're riding alone you've had it. Unless you're given to autoexhoration.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 16 November, 2022, 07:44:01 pm
Quote from: Mr Larrington
Moreover, another source claims it originated with the Romani word “drom”, meaning “road”...

One wonders if drom was borrowed from, ο δρόμος
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 November, 2022, 08:36:18 am
Quote from: Mr Larrington
Moreover, another source claims it originated with the Romani word “drom”, meaning “road”...

One wonders if drom was borrowed from, ο δρόμος

And thence to the dromedary.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2022, 06:13:18 pm
As I was saying I was fettling the folder, replacing two spokes on a wheel with a Marathon tyre. I said to myself, I said, "go easy, take your time, you don't want to hole the tube now, do you?"

I took my time. I went easy. Or, as easy as you feckin' well can.

So how many holes do you think I had to patch?

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 21 November, 2022, 01:46:58 pm
Whilst going up some stairs this morning I kicked the riser (stubbed my toes), now my big toe has a bruise across the top and I am struggling to walk on it (holding it in an odd position and not placing any weight on it).

I suspect I may spend some time this evening at minor injuries.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 November, 2022, 02:34:20 pm
GWS
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 22 November, 2022, 09:06:03 am
I suspect I may spend some time this evening at minor injuries.
Unless you have reduced blood flow or any nerve damage the treatment is "take care with it". You can self diagnose.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 22 November, 2022, 09:33:17 am
I suspect I may spend some time this evening at minor injuries.
Unless you have reduced blood flow or any nerve damage the treatment is "take care with it". You can self diagnose.

When I looked at the website for the local Minor Injuries unit they expressed a preference to attending via a 111 appointment so I went online to the 111 website and followed their questions through.  Answer self care on the basis I can hobble more than 4 steps. The bruise is round most of the toe and is going to be very colourful but no reason to attend.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 22 November, 2022, 09:39:25 am
A colleague broke his big toe recently. Advise from his GP friend was "if it's still swollen after 3 days get thee to a hospital". It was, he did, and now has a lightweight walking boot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 November, 2022, 06:20:49 pm
Quote from: Mr Larrington
Moreover, another source claims it originated with the Romani word “drom”, meaning “road”...

One wonders if drom was borrowed from, ο δρόμος
Or if both derived from a common root.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 November, 2022, 07:58:07 pm
Either I slept through an entire day this week or I did eight days' shopping last Monday :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: canny colin on 27 November, 2022, 09:43:40 am
On Friday morning .Fell off a five bar fence , whilst erecting a garden shed .  Finished it one armed  . Bruise the size of an egg on the back of my head , think I have cracked a rib and my right shoulder is aching . No Ceilidh last night , and no trike-ing  today . If the thick numptey ,I was working for had rang me the night before . I would have loaded up the pick up with equipment to erect a shed , ie steps . No he rings me at 8.30 am that morning  , to tell me he has a shed about to be delivered to the allotment . When I am at the Quarry loading Gravel for a patio .                                   
    Can we please go back to the time, only trades men were involved in construction.     
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 28 November, 2022, 02:29:40 pm
So I decide I need a waterproof cover for a rucksack, and while I'm at it it might as well be hi-vis/reflective. Turns out everywhere is sold out of such things. Anyway I'm looking on the Decathlon website and spot that they do hi-vis and reflective strips to go round your rucksack. So I have bought one of those, but that of course is not waterproof and I still need something to keep the rain out...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bhoot on 28 November, 2022, 06:42:07 pm
Me today, cycled over a cattle grid on the Brompton forgetting I had the pump on the frame. The back wheel locked up as it leapt from its mounting, and got wedged between wheel and frame - but fortunately I was clear enough of the grid to stay on the bike. Cue a few hours later a search for a petrol station with an airline just outside Glasgow airport having had to let the tyres down to fly. We succeeded...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 November, 2022, 12:35:39 pm
Shortly after I got my Brompton, a forumite advised me to stick a velcro strap around the pump to discourage it from escaping.  This seems to stand up to cattle grids slightly better than the headset does.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 30 November, 2022, 08:25:03 pm
See what have I fettled thread for background but needed dishwasher salt from the shed which is a mess and the salt wad in corner on top of a cabinet but behind my bike on turbo. I stretches and lift. Only about 8kg but at full-stretch it didn't half twang my shoulder as it slid off the cabinet
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 30 November, 2022, 11:55:28 pm
So I decide I need a waterproof cover for a rucksack, and while I'm at it it might as well be hi-vis/reflective. Turns out everywhere is sold out of such things. Anyway I'm looking on the Decathlon website and spot that they do hi-vis and reflective strips to go round your rucksack. So I have bought one of those, but that of course is not waterproof and I still need something to keep the rain out...  :facepalm:

Unless you care particularly about the fabric of your rucksack itself becoming waterlogged, line it. Waterproof covers can be quite effective, but rain can trickle and seep round the edges. What it can't do is penetrate a rolled-down poly bag inside a fastened rucksack.

If you're feeling fancy, get a lightweight drybag, maybe even one labelled "waterproof rucksack liner". But lining is key. Unless the sogginess of a saturated rucksack really matters, line it. And even then, you can get some hefty DWR onto it to keep the worst of the waterlogging at bay.

Motorcycle-commutes to an outdoor-shop-managing job through Snowdonia winters have thought me a thing or two about how waterproof anything really is.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 December, 2022, 12:10:19 am
Waterproof rucksack covers are, on the other hand, just the thing to keep rain and bird shit off your recumbent seat while it's parked outdoors...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 01 December, 2022, 01:06:36 am
Waterproof rucksack covers are, on the other hand, just the thing to keep rain and bird shit off your recumbent seat while it's parked outdoors...

I've spent a remarkable amount of time wishing I owned - but never quite getting round to buying - such a vehicle. At such time as I eventually do - duly noted.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 01 December, 2022, 07:35:18 am
So I decide I need a waterproof cover for a rucksack, and while I'm at it it might as well be hi-vis/reflective. Turns out everywhere is sold out of such things. Anyway I'm looking on the Decathlon website and spot that they do hi-vis and reflective strips to go round your rucksack. So I have bought one of those, but that of course is not waterproof and I still need something to keep the rain out...  :facepalm:

Unless you care particularly about the fabric of your rucksack itself becoming waterlogged, line it. Waterproof covers can be quite effective, but rain can trickle and seep round the edges. What it can't do is penetrate a rolled-down poly bag inside a fastened rucksack.

If you're feeling fancy, get a lightweight drybag, maybe even one labelled "waterproof rucksack liner". But lining is key. Unless the sogginess of a saturated rucksack really matters, line it. And even then, you can get some hefty DWR onto it to keep the worst of the waterlogging at bay.

Motorcycle-commutes to an outdoor-shop-managing job through Snowdonia winters have thought me a thing or two about how waterproof anything really is.

My solution (for panniers too) is to use "rubble bags" from Screwfix - heavy-duty polythene bags - as liners, rolled over to seal the open end.   I even use them in my spangly Ortleib panniers as belt and braces waterproofing security.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 01 December, 2022, 02:24:21 pm
So I decide I need a waterproof cover for a rucksack, and while I'm at it it might as well be hi-vis/reflective. Turns out everywhere is sold out of such things. Anyway I'm looking on the Decathlon website and spot that they do hi-vis and reflective strips to go round your rucksack. So I have bought one of those, but that of course is not waterproof and I still need something to keep the rain out...  :facepalm:

Unless you care particularly about the fabric of your rucksack itself becoming waterlogged, line it. Waterproof covers can be quite effective, but rain can trickle and seep round the edges. What it can't do is penetrate a rolled-down poly bag inside a fastened rucksack.

If you're feeling fancy, get a lightweight drybag, maybe even one labelled "waterproof rucksack liner". But lining is key. Unless the sogginess of a saturated rucksack really matters, line it. And even then, you can get some hefty DWR onto it to keep the worst of the waterlogging at bay.

Motorcycle-commutes to an outdoor-shop-managing job through Snowdonia winters have thought me a thing or two about how waterproof anything really is.
As a hardened hillwalker, mostly in Scotland, I have plenty of drybags, but think that putting everything into drybags for a 15 minutes train to office hop is overkill, while putting a waterproof cover over the rucksack will be enough for the times it does rain heavily - especially if it can do double duty by being hivis and reflective (the thread for discussing the efficacy of that kind of thing is over there ==>).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 01 December, 2022, 07:00:53 pm
Achievement unlocked.
For the first time (I think), I managed to do that comedy thing where you fill the washing machine drum with foam and it comes out the drawer and you come back to find a big foamy lake all over the floor.  :facepalm:

Dunno how that happened because I was doing a maintenance wash so there wasn't any detergent in there (just some laundry bleach and some soda crystals).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 01 December, 2022, 11:41:19 pm
So I decide I need a waterproof cover for a rucksack, and while I'm at it it might as well be hi-vis/reflective. Turns out everywhere is sold out of such things. Anyway I'm looking on the Decathlon website and spot that they do hi-vis and reflective strips to go round your rucksack. So I have bought one of those, but that of course is not waterproof and I still need something to keep the rain out...  :facepalm:

Unless you care particularly about the fabric of your rucksack itself becoming waterlogged, line it. Waterproof covers can be quite effective, but rain can trickle and seep round the edges. What it can't do is penetrate a rolled-down poly bag inside a fastened rucksack.

If you're feeling fancy, get a lightweight drybag, maybe even one labelled "waterproof rucksack liner". But lining is key. Unless the sogginess of a saturated rucksack really matters, line it. And even then, you can get some hefty DWR onto it to keep the worst of the waterlogging at bay.

Motorcycle-commutes to an outdoor-shop-managing job through Snowdonia winters have thought me a thing or two about how waterproof anything really is.
As a hardened hillwalker, mostly in Scotland, I have plenty of drybags, but think that putting everything into drybags for a 15 minutes train to office hop is overkill, while putting a waterproof cover over the rucksack will be enough for the times it does rain heavily - especially if it can do double duty by being hivis and reflective (the thread for discussing the efficacy of that kind of thing is over there ==>).

Fair enough...though in that sort of context I just don't really bother with any such measures, and allow a combination of brolly and slightly waxy canvas rucksack to deal with the rain.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 December, 2022, 09:44:02 pm
Ajusting the pressure in a tyre I repaired earlier from Pmax (patch, for the testing and bedding in of) to something reasonable to ride on...

"Hm, it's a bit late to run the compressor, so I'll take the quick chuck off the Prestaflator™ and screw it on to the valve so it doesn't leak, so I don't have to top it up by much..."

*successfully adjusts pressure to 55 pissys without leakage*

*carefully begins unscrewing chuck*

*pssssss*

"Uhoh"

*unscrews faster*

*pssSSSSSSSSSSSSsssphutcrinkle*

*peers at  a) deflated tyre and  2) chuck with valve core still attached*

<ob-Basil> "Bugger."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 06 December, 2022, 07:56:55 pm
Just checking on some credit card transactions from the weekend. Two rounds of drinks in a very busy pub. First one £15-70. Second (identical) one £45-70  :o
I assume the barman hit the wrong key on the contactless pad and I didn't check closely enough before tapping.
I am not popular!
Title: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 06 December, 2022, 09:21:44 pm
I managed to buy a round of drinks last week that cost around the same and it wasn’t a mistake.

London prices. That’s all. Ugh.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that the barperson knows you won’t be checking the amount too closely at the time of paying and deliberately rounds it up a bit. I’m sure this has happened to me before - meal in a pub a year or so ago, only realised when I got home that the waiter had added a few quid to the bill.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 06 December, 2022, 10:01:31 pm
The two rounds I bought last Friday came to £140ish, people taking liberties with cocktails.

Generally, if you think you've been over-charged, a chat with the bar manager usually nets a refund, especially if it's clearly an errant transaction.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 07 December, 2022, 12:50:55 am
I always check the amount before presenting my card, even in my local where I run a tab1. I’ve only twice queried the amount because I thought it too much, once in my local and (that one was by a magnitude on that occasion) and the poor bar person was very embarrassed and once in that London, but by the time the bartender cottoned on to my query, I’d completed my mental arithmetic and realised it was right  :facepalm:

My usual queries are in my local when I think they’ve missed a round or two, but I think they’ve only ever added anything to our bill on one occasion. It is my local mind, and I am somewhat loved in there (no, I don’t know why either  ???)


1. If I’m in with any of my mates we run a single tab and just divide it between us at the end of the evening. For some reason I’m the only regular that is allowed this privilege.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 07 December, 2022, 07:43:49 am
Generally, if you think you've been over-charged, a chat with the bar manager usually nets a refund, especially if it's clearly an errant transaction.
Shame the bar is in Sheffield and I'm now back in Somerset.  :-\

I'm sure they would have corrected it and I'm also sure it wasn't deliberate. The place was heaving. At least one member of staff said it was the busiest shift they'd ever worked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 December, 2022, 08:36:49 am
Posting on behalf of my telephone:

"Battery usage data is approximate and can change based on usage."

Nuff said.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 December, 2022, 04:22:45 pm
Picked up my rucksack/ laptop bag off the spare chair to come home.
What's that brown mark on the chair? Why is it wet?
Looks at bottom of rucksack. It looks like it's shat itself.
Opens rucksack, pulls out liquid banana.
Dunno when I put that in there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 08 December, 2022, 05:39:49 pm
Picked up my rucksack/ laptop bag off the spare chair to come home.
What's that brown mark on the chair? Why is it wet?
Looks at bottom of rucksack. It looks like it's shat itself.
Opens rucksack, pulls out liquid banana.
Dunno when I put that in there.

Barakta tried to do that once.  Fortunately I can smell a bananananana at 20 paces, even in the solid phase.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 December, 2022, 06:30:12 pm
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 09 December, 2022, 06:33:20 pm
Picked up my rucksack/ laptop bag off the spare chair to come home.
What's that brown mark on the chair? Why is it wet?
Looks at bottom of rucksack. It looks like it's shat itself.
Opens rucksack, pulls out liquid banana.
Dunno when I put that in there.

Barakta tried to do that once.  Fortunately I can smell a bananananana at 20 paces, even in the solid phase.
She was plantain a trap!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 09 December, 2022, 06:41:45 pm
Sent out a Change of Address slip inside some Christmas Cards with the wrong address on it...  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 December, 2022, 10:35:23 am
Picked up my rucksack/ laptop bag off the spare chair to come home.
What's that brown mark on the chair? Why is it wet?
Looks at bottom of rucksack. It looks like it's shat itself.
Opens rucksack, pulls out liquid banana.
Dunno when I put that in there.

That reminds me of something...

Banana energy caramel (tested recipe)

Simple & delicious, this delightful confection will galvanize your long-distance escapades.

Ingredients:

1 banana
4 measures of energy-drink powder (maltodextrin, fructose, what-have-you)

Utensils:

1 saddlebag
1 bike lock with key sticking out (important)
1 well-aged freezer bag

Décor

1 box tyre patches
1 baseball cap
1 CO2 pump
1 roll of black tape


Procedure:

1. Put the drink powder in the well-aged freezer bag. Put this with the other ingredients, utensils & décor in the saddlebag.
2. Put the bag on the bike.
3. Ride.
4. Every 50k, leave the bike standing in the sun for 15 minutes
5. Every 100k, ditto for one hour.
6. Go home. Take bag off bike & toss in cupboard.

If this works as well for you as it did for me, the next time you open the bag you will find that:

1. The well-aged freezer bag has ruptured;
2. The key has penetrated the banana
3. The banana has been macerated by vibration & bumps
4. The resulting mousse has mixed intimately with the energy-drink powder
5. Heat and evaporation have hardened the mixture into caramel, but not before it covered every other article in proximity (the décor)
6. The well-aged freezer bag is stuck firmly to the bottom of the bag, and in wrenching it loose it tears wide open and powders everything else.

If you're lucky, you'll discover all this before your next ride. If not, at 100k from home.

Bon appétit!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 10 December, 2022, 11:22:08 am
You are Nigella Lawson AICMFP.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 10 December, 2022, 03:09:24 pm
Picked up my rucksack/ laptop bag off the spare chair to come home.
What's that brown mark on the chair? Why is it wet?
Looks at bottom of rucksack. It looks like it's shat itself.
Opens rucksack, pulls out liquid banana.
Dunno when I put that in there.

That reminds me of something...

Banana energy caramel (tested recipe)

Simple & delicious, this delightful confection will galvanize your long-distance escapades.

Ingredients:

1 banana
4 measures of energy-drink powder (maltodextrin, fructose, what-have-you)

Utensils:

1 saddlebag
1 bike lock with key sticking out (important)
1 well-aged freezer bag

Décor

1 box tyre patches
1 baseball cap
1 CO2 pump
1 roll of black tape


Procedure:

1. Put the drink powder in the well-aged freezer bag. Put this with the other ingredients, utensils & décor in the saddlebag.
2. Put the bag on the bike.
3. Ride.
4. Every 50k, leave the bike standing in the sun for 15 minutes
5. Every 100k, ditto for one hour.
6. Go home. Take bag off bike & toss in cupboard.

If this works as well for you as it did for me, the next time you open the bag you will find that:

1. The well-aged freezer bag has ruptured;
2. The key has penetrated the banana
3. The banana has been macerated by vibration & bumps
4. The resulting mousse has mixed intimately with the energy-drink powder
5. Heat and evaporation have hardened the mixture into caramel, but not before it covered every other article in proximity (the décor)
6. The well-aged freezer bag is stuck firmly to the bottom of the bag, and in wrenching it loose it tears wide open and powders everything else.

If you're lucky, you'll discover all this before your next ride. If not, at 100k from home.

Bon appétit!

That made Oi larf in a rofflesome manner  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 10 December, 2022, 04:16:35 pm
You are Nigella Lawson AICMFP.
Can’t be Nigella as there’s no creeping downstairs in one’s negligee in the middle of the night.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 December, 2022, 07:12:09 pm
You are Nigella Lawson AICMFP.
Can’t be Nigella as there’s no creeping downstairs in one’s negligee in the middle of the night.

What? You live in a bungalow, like I do?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 10 December, 2022, 11:46:37 pm
Damn. Rumbled.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 11 December, 2022, 09:27:25 am
Woke up with a bit of a cold sore. Remembered I had a tube of Blistex in my bedside cabinet. Found it, rubbed it in liberally.

Hmm, that's strange - I don't remember it tingling this much...

*Checks packet* - ah - it's Bazooka. :facepalm: (No idea how why I had it, or how long it had been there - it's many years since I had a verucca.)

Have now washed it off as much as I possibly can. Can't find the Blistex. ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 13 December, 2022, 11:05:51 am
Bird feeder remaining remarkably full despite the weather. Found out that the storage tube had been replaced upside down therefore no slots to release food to the feeding tray. Doh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 December, 2022, 11:30:25 am
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/2d/Angry_Birds_promo_art.png)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 14 December, 2022, 01:18:42 pm
Oh the diverry and misfortune today

Day off work to get through chores and some Christmas shopping. What with it being bloody freezing and icy didn't fancy a cycle to shops...well I did but had a list of stuff to do so worked route with car to get list of things dropped of or collected. Got in car....wouldn't start.....bugger. wouldn't have been too much of a problem if I hadn't lent a mate my jump leads yesterday.

Battery on charge and get on with some jobs including putting Christmas decorations empty boxes back in attic. Which was hampered as couldn't find my best headtorch...which sitting down to write this have seen I'd put on charge after doing chickens this morning

Car starts and off to friends to collect leads. His lovely wife opens boot off car. I pop head in to look and she sees them on seat of car and shuts boot on my head which bloody hurt

Then I went and put some fuel in car which was running very low. Car restarts fine after filling which was expected as had 20 minutes drive. Pull across carpark to use bottle bank thinking don't turn off the......too late. Thankfully it restarted

Have since managed to do some shopping and get home without any further incident

Oh knew there was something else . Grabbed a couple of tub trugs from the garden for bottles and jars. Obviously full of snow etc so inverted and dropped...cheap one just shattered with being so cold and brittle
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 15 December, 2022, 09:14:35 pm
About 5 weeks ago  I was doing some work in my parents house.  Afterwards , as a precaution I popped into their loft to see if there was any sign or smell of rats, after a visitation a while back.  I was happy to find nothing.   


Apparently though, I left the lights on.....   They are probably working out a bill for me...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 December, 2022, 09:58:35 am
About 5 weeks ago  I was doing some work in my parents house.  Afterwards , as a precaution I popped into their loft to see if there was any sign or smell of rats, after a visitation a while back.  I was happy to find nothing.   


Apparently though, I left the lights on.....   They are probably working out a bill for me...  :facepalm:
In our family, any comment of bill would be reciprocated with comment that you’d knock it off the labour charges.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 16 December, 2022, 10:30:57 am
About 5 weeks ago  I was doing some work in my parents house.  Afterwards , as a precaution I popped into their loft to see if there was any sign or smell of rats, after a visitation a while back.  I was happy to find nothing.   


Apparently though, I left the lights on.....   They are probably working out a bill for me...  :facepalm:

That's my trick - leaving the loft lights on when I've pushed the ladder back into the hatch . . .  it's a string pull switch and I can ALMOST reach from the landing, but not quite.  At our previous house I drilled a holed from the loft into the top of a stud wall and then installed an indicator light rocker switch up near the ceiling - result - lights on before ascent, off after descent.  That's a job on my list for this house when it's not so cold up there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 17 December, 2022, 08:27:43 am
Running low on coffee yesterday so I put in an order with my online supplier.  Was pleasantly to have it arrive a couple of hours later.

Only problem was I’d forgotten to ask them to grind it. Will have to dig out the spice grinder :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 December, 2022, 09:08:18 am
Maybe you'll discover some new flavour combos for Starbucks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 17 December, 2022, 09:59:28 am
Maybe you'll discover some new flavour combos for Starbucks.

Well as the grinder is too small for a pumpkin I could try a courgette?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 December, 2022, 12:50:24 am
Not sure if this counts as divvery or a senior moment...

Yesterday I cooked two portions of curry.  I clingfilmed one, to put in the fridge for low-effort cooking today, and ate the other.

Come teatime, it wasn't in the fridge.  I realised it wasn't in the fridge when I'd jibbled the thermostat earlier this afternoon, either.  I wondered if my sense of time was faulty, and I'd somehow lost a day, but counting the plates in the plate cupboard suggested that one was missing.  Eventually I found it.  In the microwave.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Clare on 20 December, 2022, 04:33:43 am
The microwave is my mum's favourite place to put frozen mince to defrost, not by using the defrost option, just by leaving it to defrost. Somebody usually realises what she has done a few days later when trying to find the cause of the stink.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 December, 2022, 04:02:46 pm
Brought my laptop down to Fort Larrington.   Touchpad needs to be turned back on manually.  App does not respond to usual combination of tabs and arrow keys.  Discovered I left the trackball at Larrington Towers.

Arse!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 December, 2022, 07:24:52 pm
Just wrapping some gifts. It's been so many months since I bought one in particular that I'd completely forgotten that I'd treated myself to something at the same time. So that was a nice surprise  ;D
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 23 December, 2022, 10:35:32 pm
I see someone has started a thread on how to avoid getting locked out of your home.

Here’s a good tip: leave your back door wide open and you’ll never have any trouble getting back in.

:facepalm:
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Jurek on 23 December, 2022, 10:37:46 pm
I see someone has started a thread on how to avoid getting locked out of your home.

Here’s a good tip: leave your back door wide open and you’ll never have any trouble getting back in.

:facepalm:
Choice  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 December, 2022, 10:44:29 pm
I see someone has started a thread on how to avoid getting locked out of your home.

Here’s a good tip: leave your back door wide open and you’ll never have any trouble getting back in.

:facepalm:

I have a friend who hardly ever locks her back door. I'm not even sure that she has a key. She did have, because she gave me a spare, but she recently had the lock changed because the handle became loose. But even before that, I think she left it unlocked pretty well all the time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bhoot on 23 December, 2022, 10:47:24 pm
One of the things I love about visiting a friend in the Hebrides is that no-one ever seems to lock their door (or their car)! So any deliveries get delivered right into the house if she is out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 24 December, 2022, 06:25:43 am
First House i had, coming home after honeymoon my parents had dropped some presents off on their way home, and we had ended up with a set of spare keys that did not fit.  After spending the night in my car, I broke in with a Swiss army knife.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 December, 2022, 07:05:25 am
I should add, our “back” door is the main one we use for coming in and out of the house, and is actually front facing, ie you can see it from the driveway.

It always gets a bit sticky at this time of year, hence I obviously failed to shut it properly when we were on our way out, though I could have sworn I locked it.

Luckily, we don’t appear to have had any visitors.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 December, 2022, 07:37:10 am
Our front door has to be locked with a key rather than latching automatically. We've occasionally returned from shopping to find the key still in the lock, on the outside.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 24 December, 2022, 09:45:06 am
I found Pingu's keys in the door when I got back from work a few times, pre pandemic.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 December, 2022, 10:24:38 am
There are fewer evil buggers about than you'd think.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 24 December, 2022, 10:32:41 am
We've occasionally returned from shopping to find the key still in the lock, on the outside.

Oh yes, BTDT etc
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: slope on 24 December, 2022, 06:09:39 pm
Been doing my head in with a recent new bad development on a few years old iMac and its 'Magic Mouse'

Random problem, if one clicked on an app icon in the Dock, instead of it bouncing up and down and immediately loading the selected app - a sub menu window would appear ::-)

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52583808944_d55318fb66_b.jpg)

Duh! There's a fine line between left click and right click on the smooth 'no joins' Magic Mouse. Even though I've been using this mouse for years, my right hand index finger must be leaning more to the right in advancing years? Or perhaps my wrist action has deteriorated?

What a relief though to know :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 24 December, 2022, 06:14:19 pm
I wish I could remember where I put my brothers Christmas present.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: De Sisti on 26 December, 2022, 06:19:21 pm
During the recent cold-snap I have been using my dehumidifier quite a lot and came to the
conclusion that it was faulty, as the plastic container didn't seem to collect much water. I even
went as far as following a thread on this forum about recommendations for new units and actually
pressed the button to purchase a Meacodry ABC 10 from John Lewis*, only to realise that
the most probable and likely reason that the Ebac 2650e I have wasn't collecting much water was
because I had new double-glazed windows installed in July this year, so no cold draughts in the house.


* I was able to cancel the order a few minutes after placing it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 26 December, 2022, 07:22:27 pm
Don't think having new DG units has much bearing on humidity. You could always buy a cheap RH meter (Shelly H&T), or some even cheaper Chinese tat off Amazon).
We have had issues in the past where our desiccant dehumidifier stopped working (the air coming out the front of it was no longer warm), same observations.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: De Sisti on 26 December, 2022, 08:22:24 pm

Don't think having new DG units has much bearing on humidity. You could always buy a cheap RH meter (Shelly H&T), or some even cheaper Chinese tat off Amazon).
We have had issues in the past where our desiccant dehumidifier stopped working (the air coming out the front of it was no longer warm), same observations.
Well I know my house, and the dehumidifier's plastic tank used to fill up regularly when house
was cold and draughty. Not so much since the new windows were installed. What would you put
it down to?

Not sure what I'd use a RH meter for (as I don't know what it is).

The dehumidifier is working.
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 December, 2022, 08:56:54 pm
When I borrowed nikki's dehumidifier, it did an excellent job of filling the tank with water, but made no appreciable difference to the humidity in the room as measured by the Relative Humidity meter.  Presumably on account of there being a constant flow of fresh damp air coming through the draughty old windows (since replaced with less draughty double glazing).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 26 December, 2022, 09:21:41 pm
...Not sure what I'd use a RH meter for (as I don't know what it is)...

I think it's supposed to tell you what your left hand's doing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 26 December, 2022, 10:15:43 pm
In the cold snap the humidity dropped quite a lot - I have a monitor for my guitars - could it be that because the air was drier there was less moisture to extract?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 26 December, 2022, 10:36:06 pm
Eexactly.  Cold air holds less moisture than warm air (hence relative humidity).  When the weather gets cold, the outdoor air is heated more to reach the same indoor temperature, but the total amount of moisture remains the same, so the relative humidity drops.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 26 December, 2022, 10:43:16 pm
I was told by my piano salesman that I needed to keep the humidity level in the piano room at at least 50% for the purposes of the 5 year guarantee. During the recent, and other, cold snaps it's been as low as 40%, but I have a humidifier in there for such eventualities. It's not a big device in a room about 3.5 * 3.5 * 2.5, so a fair bit of volume. It seems to bring the level up by 3 or 4% overnight.

Fortunately, the piano is a Blüthner, which I understand to be one of the more stable makes when it comes to tuning etc. It's still in tune despite the dry, cold spell.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 December, 2022, 08:51:31 am
Eexactly.  Cold air holds less moisture than warm air (hence relative humidity).  When the weather gets cold, the outdoor air is heated more to reach the same indoor temperature, but the total amount of moisture remains the same, so the relative humidity drops.

And we get static shocks when we put the blanket over the parrot's cage at night.

A chum told me years ago that since the shock you feel is really your muscles contracting, if you clench your fist tightly and earth yourself through a knuckle a static shock won't jolt you. It works.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 27 December, 2022, 11:26:18 am
I was told by my piano salesman that I needed to keep the humidity level in the piano room at at least 50% for the purposes of the 5 year guarantee. During the recent, and other, cold snaps it's been as low as 40%, but I have a humidifier in there for such eventualities. It's not a big device in a room about 3.5 * 3.5 * 2.5, so a fair bit of volume. It seems to bring the level up by 3 or 4% overnight.

Fortunately, the piano is a Blüthner, which I understand to be one of the more stable makes when it comes to tuning etc. It's still in tune despite the dry, cold spell.

With my guitars I notice the change in tuning more when humidity and/or temperature change so I imagine it’s more acute with a piano not least because I can retune in a minute or so whereas as it’s non-trivial for a piano.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 December, 2022, 02:49:15 pm
Eexactly.  Cold air holds less moisture than warm air (hence relative humidity).  When the weather gets cold, the outdoor air is heated more to reach the same indoor temperature, but the total amount of moisture remains the same, so the relative humidity drops.

And we get static shocks when we put the blanket over the parrot's cage at night.

A chum told me years ago that since the shock you feel is really your muscles contracting, if you clench your fist tightly and earth yourself through a knuckle a static shock won't jolt you. It works.

Not sure about the importance of muscles in that process, but knuckles (and for that matter, elbows) have a lot fewer nerve endings than the usual fingertips.

The other way to avoid a painful zap is to earth yourself through a sufficiently high resistance, to keep the current down.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 December, 2022, 05:12:45 pm
Eexactly.  Cold air holds less moisture than warm air (hence relative humidity).  When the weather gets cold, the outdoor air is heated more to reach the same indoor temperature, but the total amount of moisture remains the same, so the relative humidity drops.

And we get static shocks when we put the blanket over the parrot's cage at night.

A chum told me years ago that since the shock you feel is really your muscles contracting, if you clench your fist tightly and earth yourself through a knuckle a static shock won't jolt you. It works.

Not sure about the importance of muscles in that process, but knuckles (and for that matter, elbows) have a lot fewer nerve endings than the usual fingertips.

The other way to avoid a painful zap is to earth yourself through a sufficiently high resistance, to keep the current down.

Think Galvani & frogs' legs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 December, 2022, 11:09:13 pm
Oh, electricity certainly makes muscles contract, but (ov-divvery) having had various flavours of electric shocks over the years I'd argue that it's perfectly capable of hurting without muscle involvement.  Stick your thumb across the terminals of a charged capacitor if you don't believe me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 December, 2022, 04:48:28 pm
“Bollocksbollocksbollocks!” cried Mr Larrington.  “The Great Hall PC has BSOD'd just after starting its backup, which means I have to reboot the target NAS in order to delete the lock file wot stops it trying to run two backsup at once!”

Mr Larrington logs into MyCloud.com and reboots said NAS, before realising that the PC backups go, in fact, to a completely different NAS.  MOAR swearing ensues.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 December, 2022, 04:23:24 pm
Oh, electricity certainly makes muscles contract, but (ov-divvery) having had various flavours of electric shocks over the years I'd argue that it's perfectly capable of hurting without muscle involvement.  Stick your thumb across the terminals of a charged capacitor if you don't believe me.

Certainly, but the kind of charge you usually build up in whisking clothing etc. about is far below microwave capacitor levels, so that discharging it through a clenched fist works very well.

My dad was on the QC line at Ferranti's during the war, and he used to gleefully recount how a favourite joke was to charge up a capacitor and leave it on the belt for the packing johnnies to find.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 21 January, 2023, 03:38:41 pm
Servicing a customer's bike today (horrible Mongoose "MTB" . .  but hey, it's money) - new cables required all round ..... fitted brakes, fine .... fitted gears and managed to run the RH shifter to the front mech and vice versa  ???   - fortunately managed to salavage the cables and swap them over.

I must have done hundreds and hundreds of cable swaps - this was a first!    My excuse is the way that three cables are weirdly routed along the top of the top-tube.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 27 January, 2023, 08:12:44 am
I've been ignoring those warnings about always washing lettuce, etc. for years - "that's why there's acid in our guts".  Wednesday evening I had a ham & lettuce sandwich, and around 2am I decorated our landing floor in a manner reminiscent of Jackson Pollock.  Couldn't look a lettuce in the eye last night.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 27 January, 2023, 01:48:49 pm
I created a garden drip-watering system  ;D   - achieved by driving a screw into the MDPE pipe that runs from the house to the tap by the greenhouse :(     

I was in the process of building some fencing . . .  quick trip to Toolstation to buy a pipe coupling and fixed with the join concealed behind the new fencing.   At least it wasn't the adjacent power cable (steel-wire armoured) !
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 28 January, 2023, 03:41:26 pm
Guess who forgot to replace the cap on the coolant reservoir?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 29 January, 2023, 07:08:17 pm
I have a saddle pack thing that flits between the Pretty Bike and the Bloo bike. It has sufficient gubbins in it to get me home. CO2 wotsit, spare cartridges for same, spare tubes, spanner, fixer for tbe use of, nitrile gloves,  three cable ties, tyre levers, multitool, bit of colgate tube to use as a tyre boot.

I had reason to delve in it today, where I discovered the CO2 wotsit in my case I did not have. Goodness knows how many rides I've done with it missing, fortunately without need to use it.

Durano plus FTW
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 January, 2023, 07:59:17 am
...bit of colgate tube to use as a tyre boot.

Haven't heard that one before.  Will give it a go. Ta!

Quote
I had reason to delve in it today, where I discovered the CO2 wotsit in my case I did not have. Goodness knows how many rides I've done with it missing, fortunately without need to use it.

First time I had a flat after my broken collar-bone healed I had to flag down another cyclist and ask him to pump up my tyre for me.  That's when I discovered CO2 wotsits.

Next flat around I discovered why they said not to use them with bare hands. Wow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 30 January, 2023, 01:09:13 pm
While we're on the subject, in case this lesson is of benefit to someone in similar circumstances, I was half way through limping home from the Forest of Dean with a full camping load and collapsed suspension[1] (onna Sunday, past several MTB shops that were all closed), when I finally realised that the CO2 wotsit that I'd been diligently carrying around in case of emergencies would be able to deliver the requisite number of pissys in a way that my trusty Road Morph couldn't.


[1] Probably due to excessive Comedy Off-Roading the previous day with a leaky air shock.  Later fixed by the replacement of seals and fresh schmoo.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 31 January, 2023, 06:50:41 am
I was aiming to get into work early today. Arrived at the station in plenty of time for 6.48 train.

In fact, I got here just in time to see it pulling away from the platform at its scheduled time of 6.38.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 02 February, 2023, 03:12:46 pm


I ordered an audio book on CD.

I then realised I don't own a CD player... Or a CD-ROM drive. Or dvd drive... Or any means to read it...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 03 February, 2023, 01:32:36 pm
Me and the hospital yesterday

Booked in for a check up on my leg. Nurse says it's going fairly well but you'll need to take the meds for another couple of weeks. She sends an electronic note to the pharmacy and gives me a collection number. I trudge off to the pharmacy and wait. After some numbers after mine had been announced I went over to the serving hatch to check I was in the system. Oh says the lady it's just arrived and hands me a brown paper bag with a few boxes of the expected size in it.

Got home and looked at the bag - shit it's got the wrong name on it, ring the hospital up and they send round a taxi to collect the wrong stuff and deliver mine. Pharmacy manager rings up and is very apologetic.

I know they shouldn't have given me the wrong medicine but I'm a div for not checking the name on the label when I was handed the bag.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 February, 2023, 02:22:30 pm
Me and the hospital yesterday

Booked in for a check up on my leg. Nurse says it's going fairly well but you'll need to take the meds for another couple of weeks. She sends an electronic note to the pharmacy and gives me a collection number. I trudge off to the pharmacy and wait. After some numbers after mine had been announced I went over to the serving hatch to check I was in the system. Oh says the lady it's just arrived and hands me a brown paper bag with a few boxes of the expected size in it.

Got home and looked at the bag - shit it's got the wrong name on it, ring the hospital up and they send round a taxi to collect the wrong stuff and deliver mine. Pharmacy manager rings up and is very apologetic.

I know they shouldn't have given me the wrong medicine but I'm a div for not checking the name on the label when I was handed the bag.

That's a shockingly bad screw up by the pharmacy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 03 February, 2023, 03:32:40 pm
Me and the hospital yesterday

Booked in for a check up on my leg. Nurse says it's going fairly well but you'll need to take the meds for another couple of weeks. She sends an electronic note to the pharmacy and gives me a collection number. I trudge off to the pharmacy and wait. After some numbers after mine had been announced I went over to the serving hatch to check I was in the system. Oh says the lady it's just arrived and hands me a brown paper bag with a few boxes of the expected size in it.

Got home and looked at the bag - shit it's got the wrong name on it, ring the hospital up and they send round a taxi to collect the wrong stuff and deliver mine. Pharmacy manager rings up and is very apologetic.

I know they shouldn't have given me the wrong medicine but I'm a div for not checking the name on the label when I was handed the bag.

That's a shockingly bad screw up by the pharmacy.

Indeed it was - the pharmacy I use ALWAYS asks for my address despite the fact that I'm first name terms with most of the staff
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 03 February, 2023, 03:41:55 pm
This was the hospital pharmacy not the local high street one so it didn't have my address on it. The name on the bag was similar to mine but they should have checked it (and so should I)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 04 February, 2023, 02:06:49 pm
That should have generated an IR1 as a never event but the pharmacy is probably outsourced.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 February, 2023, 07:44:46 pm
I collected my new-to-me car today. First job on getting home was to change the key fob batteries, just in case. This is a palaver. Slide tiny knob to release one side cover. Then push tab to release other side cover. Then open battery compartment, and swap battery. Reassemble. Test. Oh, neither is working. Return old battery. Now working. Hmmm. Examine new battery. Remove insulating paper from the negative side  ::-) ::-). Reinstall new battery.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 February, 2023, 11:19:56 am
As per ushul I turned the thermostat down last night before retiring to my pit…

…except I didn’t and the boiler spent many hours and much wonga vainly trying to raise the temperature of the hall to 17 degrees :facepalm:

Note to self: get wireless replacement gadget while you can still afford it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 February, 2023, 12:09:26 pm
I've been working on gettings legs back to a state where I could start jogging again.

Yesterday I moved a bulky, heavy cabinet to the upstairs. Got it on foot of stair, realised I'd have to flip it end for end to get it round the turn.

So, backed up and started to turn it - left hand couldn't take the strain, sudden lunge and flip before I dropped it. Strained my hamstrings.

As my wife reminded me, I'm too old for that sort of thing. If I'd just put it down and tipped it one end up, I wouldn't have hurt myself.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 February, 2023, 10:31:10 am
Put a new blade-guide & blade on the chainsaw. Bit of a fiddly PITA but managed it.  Job well done, patted self on back.

Glanced at old guide & blade. Er...

Took blade off again, put it back the right way round.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 10 February, 2023, 10:35:54 am
Put a new blade-guide & blade on the chainsaw. Bit of a fiddly PITA but managed it.  Job well done, patted self on back.

Glanced at old guide & blade. Er...

Took blade off again, put it back the right way round.

Having done a lot they do get easier with a knack, I've also seen too many with the chain back to front when bought from DIY places and generally refused to touch them when brought into the place I worked where we sold decent ones which went out assembled and tested

Also and excuse me if telling to suck eggs but the guide bar can usually be flipped for more life/even wear
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 February, 2023, 01:11:25 pm
Put a new blade-guide & blade on the chainsaw. Bit of a fiddly PITA but managed it.  Job well done, patted self on back.

Glanced at old guide & blade. Er...

Took blade off again, put it back the right way round.

Having done a lot they do get easier with a knack, I've also seen too many with the chain back to front when bought from DIY places and generally refused to touch them when brought into the place I worked where we sold decent ones which went out assembled and tested

Also and excuse me if telling to suck eggs but the guide bar can usually be flipped for more life/even wear

Aha! Cheers.

The old guide bar wasn't so much worn as totally gunged up with sap since I put it away after heavy use a couple of years ago.  I'd done my back in and didn't want to see the wretched thing again.  Need it to clear much ivy/saplings etc so suspect my back to suffer again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 10 February, 2023, 07:12:51 pm
"You MUST NOT get it wet." stated and reiterated the nurse...

First day I wore the hearing aid on a ride, congratulated myself on coping with it (the sudden ability to hear in my left lughole was quite disorientating) then after the ride, jumped in the shower.

YOU DIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 10 February, 2023, 07:35:42 pm
Every deaf hearing aid user has done this.

Chuck it in some rice in a warm place? It may well recover!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 10 February, 2023, 08:46:50 pm
The rice trick might have worked with the old analogue aids but I’d be highly surprised if it would work with the new digital ones.

I’ve been wearing my aids almost full time on my visit to Yorkshire earlier this week. The world is such a noisy place, especially when the teenage grandson of my s-in-l visited. I’m so glad to be back home and be none compliant again. Sarah really is a star for putting up with me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 February, 2023, 09:14:07 am
Went to pump up my tyres for this pm's ride and found that not only did I leave the cap off before my last ride, I didn't even screw down the locknut. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 February, 2023, 01:21:50 pm
On behalf of Mr von Brandenburg: having taken possession of their new home he decided to get his driving licence updated.  “Cut your old one up and send it back to us” said the Great Welsh Computer.  So he did.  Before realising that they need to hire a van to move all their TPsOC from the storage unit.  And the van hire place won’t accept Miss von Brandenburg's licence on account of it being FOREIGN.

Guess who’s going to the seaside next week  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 11 February, 2023, 02:35:14 pm
I needed to lift the manhole cover that is in the block paving. The access plugs for the lifting holes broke, so I phoned the suppliers who kindly sent me four replacements for free, which I fitted yesterday.

Today I noticed that the other manhole cover in the block paving is missing three of its four plugs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 11 February, 2023, 04:02:49 pm
On behalf of Mr von Brandenburg: having taken possession of their new home he decided to get his driving licence updated.  “Cut your old one up and send it back to us” said the Great Welsh Computer.  So he did.  Before realising that they need to hire a van to move all their TPsOC from the storage unit.  And the van hire place won’t accept Miss von Brandenburg's licence on account of it being FOREIGN.

Guess who’s going to the seaside next week  ;D
Fish n' Chips is very good in Hastings IME.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 February, 2023, 09:21:03 pm
So I'm told.  There is also a burger joint yclept “Half Man Half Burger”.  NB10 should sue.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 13 February, 2023, 06:49:15 am
Me, yesterday.

Sawing branches off small tree/very large shrub (it is about 4m tall and 5m wide) in strong winds.
Branch cut through very suddenly on forward stroke, hand shot forward and I punched the newly-cut stump. Very very ouch, one of those things where you just hold the injured bit and don't speak for a while.

I don't *think* anything is broken. Just very sore, and finger twice normal size this morning.

I have a 600mile drive on Thurs, can't afford to be injured.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 February, 2023, 12:29:33 pm
Very very ouch, one of those things where you just hold the injured bit and don't speak for a while.

I've always found that instinct fascinating.  I managed to do something nasty a couple of years ago where I found myself perfectly coherent, but singularly incapable of not being curled into a ball around my bleeding hand for a couple of minutes.

It's a bit like trying not to cry when you're a child (something I assume most adults have conveniently forgotten what it feels like) - sometimes willpower just isn't enough to override the lizard brain.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 13 February, 2023, 01:58:59 pm
It's a bit like that bit where you don't look because you know it is going to be messy and perhaps if you don't look hard enough, it won't have happened?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 February, 2023, 06:12:18 pm
On behalf of Mr von Brandenburg: having taken possession of their new home he decided to get his driving licence updated.  “Cut your old one up and send it back to us” said the Great Welsh Computer.  So he did.  Before realising that they need to hire a van to move all their TPsOC from the storage unit.  And the van hire place won’t accept Miss von Brandenburg's licence on account of it being FOREIGN.

Guess who’s going to the seaside next week  ;D

I shall go to the seaside.  Hurrah!

Now watch the weather go all manky.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 February, 2023, 08:39:16 am
Go?  Gone.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 February, 2023, 09:28:10 am
(Check the App For That, that they have now)

13 degrees and cloudy in Hastings on Saturday.  Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 14 February, 2023, 03:59:34 pm
Advanced Divvery occurs when you really think you know what you're doing, and what's more you really should. Observe and learn.

Fixing up MiL house pre-sale we discover we were suffering from an excess of SiL's predilection: "Chuck it out, it's a load of rubbish" which in one particular case included the keys for the patio doors.

As it would have been mean not to, and replacing a euro lock is a cheap thing, I decide to carry out this operation. Even drilling the lock out, it should only take about 30 minutes. Using FiL's cheap drill that shattered in the lock added a few minutes. But, once the lock was unlocked, how long do you suppose it was before I remembered that there's a single locating screw in the middle of the cylinder, without removing which you will get nowhere? Yes that's right. Quite A While.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 February, 2023, 12:32:13 pm
Just lost one of my favourite earrings on the tarmac at the airport. Sob.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 February, 2023, 08:16:32 am
Advanced Divvery occurs when you really think you know what you're doing, and what's more you really should. Observe and learn.

As far as Divvery qualifications go I dunno whether I've got a BD, an MD or a DD.  The Panel may judge:

Three weeks ago I bought a new coffee machine.  It has a 2-litre water tank but goes through it like a thirsty horse so I must have filled it a dozen times.

Yesterday I noticed that the bright area down the back, that I had taken for total internal reflection, had printing on it.  First reaction was that Sage had printed some guff on the plastic about always using their brand of whatever and thinking upright thoughts.

Then I noticed that it was a bit wrinkled.

Ever tried fishing a soggy A5 card out of a tank of water through an opening about the size of a letter-box with a couple of table knives?  Not easy.

And it was an advert for Sage's gubbins.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 18 February, 2023, 06:12:13 pm
I'm off to the RLPO later this evening, some friends will be there as well.     One of them has just phoned me up,  apparently we'd all arranged to meet in a local restaurant for a bite to eat before the concert.   I'd completely forgotten about it and was cooking my dinner when he rang  :facepalm:      That's going to cost me an apologetic round later on!



Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 February, 2023, 07:44:10 pm
Went shopping on the way back from Fort Larrington.

Forgot to buy milk*.

Fucknuckles >:(

* Or a house.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 February, 2023, 06:50:33 pm
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 24 February, 2023, 12:25:31 am
"You MUST NOT get it wet." stated and reiterated the nurse...

First day I wore the hearing aid on a ride, congratulated myself on coping with it (the sudden ability to hear in my left lughole was quite disorientating) then after the ride, jumped in the shower.

YOU DIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just done it again.

Experience is recognising the mistakes as you make them again
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 24 February, 2023, 01:07:30 am
OhDear!

I hope this one dries out too!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 27 February, 2023, 01:16:13 pm
Wondered why emptying junk email folder took so long  assumed was due to crap Internets at work and listening to radio through computer

Nope had deleted everything in my sent folder, thankfully restored
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 28 February, 2023, 09:50:08 am
I was making some new bracketry for my motorcycle trailer a few weeks ago, chopping and welding 40mm square section steel. I realised I couldn't find the bag of plastic end caps I'd bought last time, so bought some more. They arrived before I'd painted it, so I put them away. Over the weekend I wanted to finish the job, as I'll be using it in a couple of weeks. Could I find the new end caps, or the old ones?

So I ordered some more. They are due to arrive later today.

Can you guess what I found inside my drill case when I opened it at work today?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 February, 2023, 10:09:14 am
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre?

[“Unlikely!” – Ed.]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 01 March, 2023, 09:28:37 pm
I am wearing my hearing aid, scrolling through this and building the enthusiasm to go for a post ride shower.

:) What could possibly go wrong between sitting here and soaking the litlle electronic device for the 3rd time.

Fingers crossed!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 03 March, 2023, 10:06:18 am
We have a lovely chalk board meal planner by our back door. It says something like the heart of the home is the kitchen and has a heart cut out. We hang our back door key in the heart cut out. Yesterday went to lock back door. Caught key in the hole and pulled the whole thing off wall. A fumbled catch and wife had to help as I'd got it but was hanging over the dog bowls. We now have no Friday on the board and scared the life out the hound
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 03 March, 2023, 02:26:50 pm
I think, on balance, that this belongs here rather than, "Weird Dreams".

This morning I dreamt my alarm clock was going off and I woke up because of it.  My alarm was set for one whole, desperately needed, hour later.  Gahhh!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 March, 2023, 10:35:38 am
Heavy traffic on Billet Road last night.  “Aha!” says Mr Larrington.  “I will sneak down these side streets thereby circumventing the queueueueueue!”

Then clobbers the left front wheel of the Fast-Appreciating Future Classic against a kerb.  Bye-bye tyre with 3 months and fewer than a thousand miles use >:(  Pit stop inna-F1-stylee only took 20 minutes.  Even Haas can do better than that :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 04 March, 2023, 03:27:37 pm
Replacing rear brake cable & housing with a view to riding after lunch. Snipped cable, pulled it through, heard stuff going pock-pock-pock on floor as the wee rubber rings landed and pingfuckitted away out of sight.

"Oh well" and opened cable box to find half a dozen gear cables and none for brakes.  :facepalm:

Off to Decathlon after lunch.

Only not: replaced outer after lunch, finagling a bit to make the total run ~1 cm shorter, had enough of the inner left to make it through the caliper.  Cable runs freely, alles paletti.

Only it's still going to bloody snow tomorrow and I didn't get a ride.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 March, 2023, 04:21:29 pm
Mum wanted something hung on the kitchen wall.  I said it would be better on the opposite wall, where there are no services.  She insisted it went on the wall with the (few) sockets.  Turns out the water pipes for the utility room are, inexplicably, run down the kitchen side of a solid wall.  The masonry drill has grazed a water pipe, which is mercifully copper and hasn't sprung a leak.

Not sure whether to just leave it (masonry drills aren't sharp and it is quite likely to have merely burnished the copper pipe a bit) or cut a bigger hole in the wall and look.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 March, 2023, 05:39:40 pm
If you cut a bigger hole too,check, it’ll be fine but if you leave it, then the leak will start gushing water at 11pm tonight.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 06 March, 2023, 06:44:53 pm
If you cut a bigger hole to check, you'll find the original bit was just burnishing. But you'll cut through a hidden mains cable and a different water pipe whilst doing so.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 March, 2023, 08:28:36 pm
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52731006228_6e3670330e_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2okEc2N)20230306_193704 (https://flic.kr/p/2okEc2N) by rogerzilla (https://www.flickr.com/photos/41286375@N07/), on Flickr

Untouched, by about 2mm.  The drill was snagging on the felt wrapping, not the pipe.

The weighing scales are now on the opposite wall and these holes have been filled.

I have some photos of the house at first fix stage, which are bloody useful for identifying safe bits of wall.  The stud/pipe/cable detectors are woefully random.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 March, 2023, 10:01:41 am
Hope that's just condensation...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 March, 2023, 11:00:26 am
It's dust!  It was a very hard photo to take.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 March, 2023, 12:56:31 pm
Gotcha.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 20 March, 2023, 09:17:49 pm
I'm putting this down to tiredness and just being too busy

This morning our Cockerell was loud, i deliberately dont let the chickens out as early as did before one of the poults we were given turned out to be a boy. When went to let them out they were wandering round the run waiting for their food and water. Id not shut the door properly,  ill offer the possibility of a disclaimer that i cleaned the door which opens to become exit ramp so the encrusted mud probably ment the door latch was tighter

I am also Chicken sitting for  friend. Got home from work and wandered into their garden to give the chickens some grain and get eggs, it's still closed, strange wondered if the wife and youngest had been over and closed up. Nope I just forgotten to open it. They shot out for food and water but seemed ok
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 24 March, 2023, 08:48:00 pm
Fitted a new bottle cage on the MTB before going for a ride.

Old one had broken, and was mounted with the pump bracket on the seat tube.

Fitting new one, the cage would not fit nicely with the pump on the left side. So fitted it with the pump on the right side.

Rode the entire ride wondering why the smallest chainring was no longer an option. (It did improve my speed up hills though.)  The pump was actually stopping the front derailleur from going any further left. I lifted the pump in the bracket half an inch, and all 3 front rings are selectable again.

What a div
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 24 March, 2023, 11:22:53 pm
Good effort  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 28 March, 2023, 11:23:14 am
Part 1:
Yesterday I dropped my hoover mini hand-held vac.  It no longer worked.  Not an expensive item and quite old so I make that about 4/10 on the divvery scale.

Part 2:
Today I picked up said vac switched it on & shook it & tapped it gently to see if there was a dodgy contact perhaps.  No dice so placed it on the counter while making a cup of tea & did a few other chores.  After a while I noticed a smell.  An electrical smell. Opened the back door to see if it was coming from outside - nope.  Penny dropped, I'd left the vac switched on.   It was, ahem, quite warm and after about 5 minutes still quite warm, possibly getting warmer.  9/10 on the divvery scale.  Only avoids the full 10 because I had caught it before thermal runaway set in.  After 30 mins outside on a hard surface far from anything flammable it had cooled.

Now dismantled & with the motor shifted back to the correct place it works again.  I will be monitoring it very carefully indeed for the next few charges!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 28 March, 2023, 11:48:30 am
Rolled over in bed last night and went straight onto the floor.

It's a double bed and I was on my own so no reason to have migrated to the edge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 28 March, 2023, 12:14:06 pm
Rolled over in bed last night and went straight onto the floor.

It's a double bed and I was on my own so no reason to have migrated to the edge.
That is spectacular.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 March, 2023, 01:14:38 pm
Rolled over in bed last night and went straight onto the floor.

It's a double bed and I was on my own so no reason to have migrated to the edge.
That is spectacular.

Rolling out of bed can be a symptom.  Balance problems, or something (usually illness, medication or old age) interfering with the brain's mechanism for keeping us still during REM sleep.  Something to be aware of if you find you're making a habit of it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 March, 2023, 01:28:21 pm
Rolled over in bed last night and went straight onto the floor.

It's a double bed and I was on my own so no reason to have migrated to the edge.
That is spectacular.

Rolling out of bed can be a symptom.  Balance problems, or something (usually illness, medication or old age) interfering with the brain's mechanism for keeping us still during REM sleep.  Something to be aware of if you find you're making a habit of it.
I think it is a symptom of gravity.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 March, 2023, 01:49:56 pm
As I frequently observe, the sooner someone works out how to turn the gravity down in bed the better.  It would be a lot more convenient than detachable arms, which would also help.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 28 March, 2023, 02:05:27 pm
I leapt out of a double bed, but unfortunately leapt the wrong way. Consequently, I was still in bed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 March, 2023, 02:08:00 pm
Seriously though, our ability to (normally) stay put when asleep is impressive.  Legacy of tree-dwelling apes, presumably.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 28 March, 2023, 02:12:23 pm
Rolled over in bed last night and went straight onto the floor.

It's a double bed and I was on my own so no reason to have migrated to the edge.
That is spectacular.

Rolling out of bed can be a symptom.  Balance problems, or something (usually illness, medication or old age) interfering with the brain's mechanism for keeping us still during REM sleep.  Something to be aware of if you find you're making a habit of it.

First time for me (ignore the Uni days when the beds were 2'6 wide and 5' 10 long and your partner could easily push you out of it)

I think the problem is more mundane - I have a memory foam mattress topper which can migrate round a little and ruck up. I must have moved away from the ridge and ended up at the edge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 March, 2023, 02:14:50 pm
Seriously though, our ability to (normally) stay put when asleep is impressive.  Legacy of tree-dwelling apes, presumably.

Our parrot's even better. Trees are obviously a factor.

<BING!!!>  The answer: forget beds, climb trees.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 28 March, 2023, 03:17:03 pm
As I frequently observe, the sooner someone works out how to turn the gravity down in bed the better.  It would be a lot more convenient than detachable arms, which would also help.

Detachable arms would improve my sleep comfort no end.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 28 March, 2023, 03:24:15 pm
Having too many arms in bed is a bit like tinnitus, neither are a problem until you notice, then all of a sudden you can’t think about anything else.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 28 March, 2023, 05:47:34 pm
As I frequently observe, the sooner someone works out how to turn the gravity down in bed the better.  It would be a lot more convenient than detachable arms, which would also help.

Detachable arms would improve my sleep comfort no end.
Mine too, I find them such a nuisance!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 28 March, 2023, 06:14:54 pm
Not just me that wakes with a hand full of numb sausages then?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 March, 2023, 06:18:13 pm
Usually after a nightmare about being bitten by dogs or similar.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 March, 2023, 07:02:00 pm
Forgot to change the time on the clock in the Estate Office :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 28 March, 2023, 08:51:49 pm
I haven't changed the time on the oven because I think you have to turn it off and back on again, which is stupid.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 28 March, 2023, 08:55:37 pm
I slowly rotate like I'm in some kind of somnambulistic rotisserie.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 28 March, 2023, 09:00:05 pm
Unlikely. Wot is the oven?

Ovens with six-button timer modules seem to be one of two types:

1: Hold down the two left-most buttons whilst using the two right-most as time +/-;
2: Hold down the button immediately to the left of the right-most two (usually has a hand symbol), whilst using the two right-most as time +/-.

If it has a proprietary touch-button thing, then yea, all bets are off.
Probably needs the app.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 28 March, 2023, 09:58:44 pm
6 buttons would be an extravagance, ours has 3. I'm pretty sure that was the only option in the manual, but I CBA looking right now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 29 March, 2023, 02:02:04 am
As I frequently observe, the sooner someone works out how to turn the gravity down in bed the better.  It would be a lot more convenient than detachable arms, which would also help.


Agreed. Having to go through the four stages of grief most mornings at the prospect of having to contend with gravity is most irksome.

Yesterday I rolled over in bed and smashed my face into the bed side table. Seems I had taken a diagonal orientation across the bed and hadn't realised it.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 29 March, 2023, 07:11:12 am
6 buttons would be an extravagance, ours has 3. I'm pretty sure that was the only option in the manual, but I CBA looking right now.

Ours likewise.  I am relatively proficient at operating ours because I regularly use the inbuilt countdown timer when baking.  Changing the time usually takes me three or four attempts though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 March, 2023, 09:22:00 am
I actually managed to change my watch to BST without resorting to reading TFM this year, which is likely a first.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 29 March, 2023, 09:24:23 am
BST is the only good use of the internet for appliances.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 March, 2023, 10:46:51 am
Just checked my router’s BST setup.

Which was Wrong.  At both ends.

Grrr >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 29 March, 2023, 01:34:46 pm
6 buttons would be an extravagance, ours has 3. I'm pretty sure that was the only option in the manual, but I CBA looking right now.

Ours likewise.  I am relatively proficient at operating ours because I regularly use the inbuilt countdown timer when baking.  Changing the time usually takes me three or four attempts though.
Three buttons here. Icons are plus sign, clock thing, minus.

Press the clock thing and watch the display, cycle through duration, end time, (arrow icons with vertical lines), countdown timer (bell icon) to reach (flashing) clock (clock icon). Adjust time with plus and minus buttons. Leave it for a few seconds, clock icon goes solid, showing the right time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 March, 2023, 01:38:11 pm
I've found that setting the clock on the oven has become easier over the years, as I waste less brainpower remembering the arcane button combinations to set other clocks.

Since I put the microwave on a smart plug that power-cycles it at 13:01 every day to keep the atrociously inaccurate clock in sync, I think it's literally just the oven and the bike computers, and 5 of the bike computers are the same model.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 March, 2023, 01:42:51 pm
Our old oven, a posh kiwi Fisher & Paykel, which the landlord removed as part of a general refurb, had an arcane button sequence to reset the clock. The new one, a cheapo Beko, has reset automatically, so I guess it's got some internet connection somewhere. Probably it's sending a record of all our cooking back to Beijing and/or Cupertino. But the new oven is a bit crap at cooking. It also claims that if the clock is not set, it will not do any oven duties, which is pointless and stupid and crap, if true.

Meanwhile the microwave (which, in contrast to the oven, is a Bosch) does not auto-reset but is easy to reset via a clock-icon situated between "start" and "stop" (which are written as words, so FOREIGNS just have to learn ENGLISH or, erm, use the oven) and a friendly round twiddly knob.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 March, 2023, 01:57:48 pm
The algorithm for DST (at least in places like the EU and USAnia where we haven't meddled with it for decades, and naive engineers might assume that will continue for the lifetime of their product) isn't particularly complicated, all the device needs is to know the date as well as the time.  Our fire alarm adjusts itself for DST automagically, and its only connection to the outside world is via a couple of relays[1].

The other way to do it would be to use a radio clock receiver.  MSF broadcasts a DST-is-about-to-happen flag for the benefit of clocks with little BRANEZ.

Unintuitively, while NTP and GPS are excellent ways to obtain accurate time, neither of them know anything about timezones or DST.  They just give you UTC or GPS time accordingly.  Of course, devices that use those as time source tend to be a bit more computationally capable, and can hold something like tzdata in their firmware to look up the appropriate conversion factor.  Bonus points for keeping that lookup table up to date over the internet.  Negative points for relying on an internet-of-shit company's server as the only way to set the clock, or for hard-coding the IP address of an innocent public NTP server, so some university or ISP is inadvertently DOSed by thousands of toasters.


[1] One for "Something's on fire!" and one for "STFU!"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 March, 2023, 02:03:04 pm
Why does your fire alarm know the time?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 March, 2023, 02:08:36 pm
Why does your fire alarm know the time?

So it can:

A) Change its behaviour according to time of day.  For example, a combined thermal/optical sensor in a workshop might have its optical part enabled outside of business hours, or staged evacuation would be skipped if the building is ostensibly empty.

B) Timestamp the activation/fault log.


Slightly disappointingly, given that its power supply is relatively advanced (it provides the application processor with battery charging diagnostic parameters and reports the presence of a mains supply), it doesn't appear to synchronise its clock to mains frequency.  I suppose these things are supposed to have annual inspections by someone who knows how to set the clock, thobut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 March, 2023, 04:52:17 pm
Ate a rather suspect slice of Serrano last night and duly heaved my dinner into the jarrie back of midnight.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 29 March, 2023, 07:27:14 pm
I haven't changed the time on the oven because I think you have to turn it off and back on again, which is stupid.

That was a feature of our old oven. Fortunately the new one (well, four years old now) allows you to adjust the time without turning the power off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 March, 2023, 08:29:51 pm
Our old oven, a posh kiwi Fisher & Paykel, which the landlord removed as part of a general refurb, had an arcane button sequence to reset the clock. The new one, a cheapo Beko, has reset automatically, so I guess it's got some internet connection somewhere. Probably it's sending a record of all our cooking back to Beijing and/or Cupertino. But the new oven is a bit crap at cooking. It also claims that if the clock is not set, it will not do any oven duties, which is pointless and stupid and crap, if true.

Meanwhile the microwave (which, in contrast to the oven, is a Bosch) does not auto-reset but is easy to reset via a clock-icon situated between "start" and "stop" (which are written as words, so FOREIGNS just have to learn ENGLISH or, erm, use the oven) and a friendly round twiddly knob.
No! Mrs Cudzo now tells me she did it. I had misunderstood her the other day. Probably she told me before breakfast...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 March, 2023, 08:42:11 pm
I haven't changed the time on the oven because I think you have to turn it off and back on again, which is stupid.

That was a feature of our old oven. Fortunately the new one (well, four years old now) allows you to adjust the time without turning the power off.

I RTFM this morning and there was indeed another way, but it seemed I needed to press the button each time I wanted single minutes, and as it was 0615 and it beeped every time I have not completed this task yet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 29 March, 2023, 10:03:42 pm
I thought our oven had done itself, but that was also my wife who had unaccountably learned to set it (seems we had a power cut last week and she had to do it, because the oven doesn't work until the clock is set, and I wasn't home to fix it).

We do have automagic clock under the tv that is supposed to set itself, but rarely does, as it's saying 9.17 pm at the moment. We should bin it, as it often results in chronological chaos, but we feel it introduces a frisson of randomness into our evenings.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 March, 2023, 11:49:20 pm
because the oven doesn't work until the clock is set

I've just realised that this is deliberate: In the event of the oven being set to switch on on a timer, you don't want it randomly switching on (potentially far too early and starting a fire) because there's been a power cut.

Presumably this is why they do 12-o-clock-flashing rather than the lazy programmer option of starting from 0 (or 1:01 like our microwave does).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 31 March, 2023, 04:38:57 pm
Sound bar for TV arrived today (q.v. another thread with a question) . . .  get it out of the box, look at connection instructions  . . .  look for the TV's instruction sheet to check connections . . . said doument bears no relation to the actual ports and connections on the TV . . .  much head scratching . . .  TV leaflet was for the TV that we used to own (same make and very similar model number).   Aaargh!

GN is that the sound bar thing seems to be emitting rather better sound than the TV itself.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 March, 2023, 05:18:35 pm
At least yours works. I've had the relevant cable to connect our TV's audio output to our 5+1-speaker home cinema set-up for the last 5 years, but the cabinet the TV sits on and that the amp sits in  is such a horrible design that every time I think about doing it I find something else to do instead.

Guess who built the cabinet?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 31 March, 2023, 08:38:50 pm
Quite by coincidence to the previous two posts, I have a story regarding Audio connections, but for once I exonerated myself from div premier league status.

Bought a pair of bluetooth transmitter/receivers. (£11 each from a smiley river.)

Read the instructions (wtf for?) and found out the units are designed to be individually paired to bluetooth audio devices such as phones, laptop, car etc. (ie not to each other) but I wanted to pair them together to then connect two non blue tooth devices wirelessly.

I charged them up, powered them up and pressed the buttons haphazardly until....  Yep! They paired.

By using an audio extension lead between the 44 year old Hifi headphone socket and the brand new BT6 Tx I can position it near the centre of the property and hear the music in wonderful stereo everywhere in the house, and all the way to the shed!

Now able to play my vinyl upstairs on the hifi, while listening to it properly via headphones and
i) preparing the veg for dinner,
ii) sitting next to 'er indoors as she watches Eastenders, or
iii) doing some between-the-downpours gardening.

Will probably wake up (having just dreamt all of this), to find the div status fully restored.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 01 April, 2023, 09:44:23 am
Just fell in the bath/shower and bruised all my ribs (assume I'd be moaning a lot more if they were broken). I'm not even old FFS.  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 April, 2023, 10:04:15 am
Keep at it, you soon will be. ;D

Sympathies allasame.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 01 April, 2023, 10:08:07 am
Just fell in the bath/shower and bruised all my ribs (assume I'd be moaning a lot more if they were broken). I'm not even old FFS.  >:(

Oh dear.  Bad luck.
I've now reached the age where I no longer 'fall over'.
Seems I now 'have a fall'.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 01 April, 2023, 08:17:56 pm
That's one of the ways you know you are old, isn't it? Watching how people react to you falling over.

If they point and laugh, you are young.
If they rush over all concerned, you are old.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 01 April, 2023, 09:44:51 pm
My wife is still stay there while I get a photo. As I marinate in Sussex’s finest mud.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 03 April, 2023, 09:56:05 am
Just fell in the bath/shower and bruised all my ribs (assume I'd be moaning a lot more if they were broken). I'm not even old FFS.  >:(

Oh dear.  Bad luck.
I've now reached the age where I no longer 'fall over'.
Seems I now 'have a fall'.

Mr Smith's letter from the consultant described him as a 63yr old chap who had a fall.
This may have been more painful than the actual injury.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pumpkin on 03 April, 2023, 10:03:35 am
traffic lights in Chester yesterday and I clip in but yet I dont and somehow topple over a la Mrs Doyle (Father Ted) into the road. luckily no traffic about.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 April, 2023, 10:06:05 am
Mr Smith's letter from the consultant described him as a 63yr old chap who had a fall.
This may have been more painful than the actual injury.
He has my sympathy.

When a dear young friend was visiting, we were chatting while walking about finances and planning. She dropped this gem into the conversation "You'll only be a couple of years off retiring."

Thank you, dear. I was 55 at that time. Suddenly felt considerably older.

Mr Smith's letter from the consultant described him as a 63yr old chap who had a fall.
This may have been more painful than the actual injury.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 03 April, 2023, 12:41:12 pm
To allow for boom length adjustment and long chain management, the Pino has a chain tensioner that is more or less the bottom part of a derailleur - two wheels and a spring loaded plastic cage.

Three weeks ago I cleaned the long chain by removing it and giving it the Sheldon Shake.
Yesterday I was sitting outside a cafe and happened to notice the chain was threaded wrongly, in the classic "wrong side of the tab" way. Three weeks it's been like that. Three weeks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 03 April, 2023, 12:57:58 pm
I have a roll of 'sticks-like-shit-to-a-blanket' double sided tape at home.
The tape is ~15mm wide and the roll is ~250mm Ø.
It has a jelly-like substrate.
Because of the substrate, the rolls tend to stick to one another.
To prevent this from happening, the rolls have paper between them that looks like tracing/greaseproof paper.
Somewhere between my place of work and my home, this critical piece of paper had gone astray and now, all manner of claggyness was attaching itself to the edges of the tape.
No matter, I thought, I've got a roll of greaseproof paper in the kitchen, I'll deploy that.
I cut out a couple of circles of greaseproof paper, but they wouldn't quite stay in place.
No matter, I thought, I'll use a couple of bits of masking tape to keep the greaseproof paper in place.
Only. Nothing. Will. Adhere. To. Greaseproof. Paper.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 03 April, 2023, 01:06:33 pm
Just fell in the bath/shower and bruised all my ribs (assume I'd be moaning a lot more if they were broken). I'm not even old FFS.  >:(

Oh dear.  Bad luck.
I've now reached the age where I no longer 'fall over'.
Seems I now 'have a fall'.

Mr Smith's letter from the consultant described him as a 63yr old chap who had a fall.
This may have been more painful than the actual injury.

Christ, I got that at 55 when I crashed and broke my collar-bone. The intern in the Urgences made that sort of judgemental "ugh" sound that means "silly bloody old twat should know better instead of fucking up our Saturday".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 03 April, 2023, 04:27:45 pm
Only. Nothing. Will. Adhere. To. Greaseproof. Paper.
Except. Everything. I. Bake.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 03 April, 2023, 05:51:54 pm
Only. Nothing. Will. Adhere. To. Greaseproof. Paper.
Except. Everything. I. Bake.

It's the inverse of PVA glue, which sticks to everything except whatever you're trying to glue.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 April, 2023, 10:35:29 pm
T+3 days since the bath incident and it hurts more, not less.
Prolly not helped by the fact I cleaned the bathroom prior to various plumber visitations tomorrow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 April, 2023, 01:24:52 pm
Posting on behalf of rock’n’roll's Martin Turner: said bassman left his passport in Wednesday night’s hotel in Saarbrücken.  This is awkward as tonight’s gig is in Switzerland…  Courier being arranged to bring missing document to border.  Oopsie.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: psd on 11 April, 2023, 08:43:34 pm
Only. Nothing. Will. Adhere. To. Greaseproof. Paper.
Except. Everything. I. Bake.

It's the inverse of PVA glue, which sticks to everything except whatever you're trying to glue.
This is similar to "the strength of any tack weld is inversely proportional to the probability of the piece being welded being in the right place."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 April, 2023, 01:52:06 am
I got involved in timing cycle races, in spite of knowing 0% of bugger all about cycle racing, and now I appear to have screwed the pooh (TBAGO).

Appologies to those who are affected.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 12 April, 2023, 06:49:11 am
I'm putting myself and the wife in

Me yesterday, one of the guys at work who is technically junior to me but has a lot of experience and knowledge so often goto him for advice. Rang him to ask something and he pointed out I'd rang him about the same Thursday, I'd completely forgotten

The wife. Get home yesterday and she is trying to order Chinese takeaway for our dinner, Chinese restaurant not answering. I Google to check we have correct number and says closed till 5pm Wednesday,  well its gone 5 she replies. I had to point out it had, but was Tuesday.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 12 April, 2023, 11:10:04 am
... I appear to have screwed the pooh (TBAGO).
Um, what?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 12 April, 2023, 11:43:27 am
... I appear to have screwed the pooh (TBAGO).
Um, what?
Typo, But A Good One
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 April, 2023, 12:45:12 pm
... I appear to have screwed the pooh (TBAGO).
Um, what?
Typo, But A Good One

And if you've never seen The Right Stuff:  a) you should watch The Right Stuff (with a pinch of sodium chloride)  and  b) it was supposed to be "screw the pooch"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 12 April, 2023, 03:53:47 pm
Last night; hunting high & low for my reading specs which I'd been using not quarter of an hour before. Ask MrsL if she's seen them and came the reply, "Yes.  They're tucked into the neck of your jumper. The one you are wearing."   There may have been laughter at my expense.  Oh well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 13 April, 2023, 10:48:31 am
... I appear to have screwed the pooh (TBAGO).
Um, what?
Typo, But A Good One

And if you've never seen The Right Stuff:  a) you should watch The Right Stuff (with a pinch of sodium chloride)  and  b) it was supposed to be "screw the pooch"
The film? I don't think I have, but will consider.

And TBAGO? I've tried googling, without much luck.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 April, 2023, 10:58:05 am
Screwing the Pooh is something else

(https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/1ed0c5458775104595817e76f36b2c0bd967ea72/0_185_5557_3335/master/5557.jpg?width=620&quality=85&dpr=1&s=none)

FSVO screw, natch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 April, 2023, 12:18:53 pm
TBAGO (optionally ToBAGO) = Typo But A Good One, from uk.rec.sheds
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 13 April, 2023, 12:23:28 pm
TBAGO (optionally ToBAGO) = Typo But A Good One, from uk.rec.sheds
As mentioned in the very post the Paul quoted where he said he'd googled to no avail.  Possibly the right thread for such stuff...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 April, 2023, 12:26:17 pm
TBAGO (optionally ToBAGO) = Typo But A Good One, from uk.rec.sheds
As mentioned in the very post the Paul quoted where he said he'd googled to no avail.  Possibly the right thread for such stuff...

I'm such a feckin' div :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 13 April, 2023, 11:36:49 pm
TBAGO (optionally ToBAGO) = Typo But A Good One, from uk.rec.sheds
As mentioned in the very post the Paul quoted where he said he'd googled to no avail.  Possibly the right thread for such stuff...

I'm such a feckin' div :facepalm:
Nope, I’m the div from not realising that Beardy was answering my question, not commenting on the poo/pooch thing.
I should come with a warning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 April, 2023, 10:52:56 am
To be fair, I could have been more verbose with my reply.  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 14 April, 2023, 05:29:27 pm
I have reached new heights (depths) of Divary.

I cycled 18miles to my mate's house. Thought my Cadbury's Creme Eggs were getting more squished than usual during the ride.

When I got to his, I realised I was wearing my Speedo swimming trunks... not my cycling shorts.

64 years old and scrap heap worthy
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 16 April, 2023, 06:36:02 am
lol  :-D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 16 April, 2023, 07:44:17 am
So, I go to a lot of trouble to secure a spare set of wheels for my ebike and sojournmike, OTP, helps immensely with a lovely set. Off I go to Suffolk to my mate's house with said ebike in tow and spare set of wheels. I'd removed the other set of wheels to fit it in the car. Had I also removed the vital magnet from a spoke on the other set? Had I heck as like!

With the Haibike rendered a large paperweight, I ended up using a Pompino a size too small with one gear (of 3) short.

Suffolk is not flat!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 April, 2023, 07:10:57 pm
Just as my rib is better and I can now pull my socks without pain, I wake up this morning with a really painful joint at the base of my thumb, so now I have to use other digits to get my socks on again. No idea what I've done, maybe it was something to do with me stabbing holes in the lawn for plants yesterday.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 16 April, 2023, 07:47:44 pm
Have you considered sandals?  Might be safer...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 16 April, 2023, 07:58:03 pm
I've posted this before but can't find it but have done it again

Washed and ironed all girls school uniforms and forgot the youngest goes into summer uniform so her shirts won't be required till later in year by which point they probably won't fit
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 April, 2023, 09:24:55 pm
Have you considered sandals?  Might be safer...
You want me to stab myself in the foot with a fork?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 16 April, 2023, 09:28:24 pm
Have you considered sandals?  Might be safer...
You want me to stab myself in the foot with a fork?

Good point, that's not going to make the sock wearing any easier.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 16 April, 2023, 10:08:44 pm
Have you considered sandals?  Might be safer...

She can't afford the scandle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 April, 2023, 10:21:07 pm
Have you considered sandals?  Might be safer...

She can't afford the scandle.

Coz the vandles took the handals?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 16 April, 2023, 10:26:00 pm
Have you considered sandals?  Might be safer...

She can't afford the scandle.

Coz the vandles took the handals?

She probably shouldn't wear pumps either, then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 April, 2023, 08:12:57 am
Have you considered sandals?  Might be safer...

She can't afford the scandle.

Coz the vandles took the handals?

And the fings wot eld the candles?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 April, 2023, 11:38:26 am
Nominating my son-in-law.

Visited for a week and sensibly brought his bike.

Leaving Sat on the ferry, he packs car, carefully taking wheels off bike and putting frame in first. All other luggage (lots when you have a toddler) added.

We leave them at ferry port and drive home. 5 min after driving home, phone call. Wheels left behind.

Cue dash to ferry port, arriving just in time (daughter is waiting in the port car park, SiL has driven onto ferry). Daughter then runs after car, one wheel in each hand.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Phil21 on 17 April, 2023, 04:02:29 pm
Bought a new casing for the wing mirror on the car. Arrived today....I ordered the wrong side (got drivers, need passenger side).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 April, 2023, 04:55:13 pm
"Need the light on in here," said I to the parrot just now, and proved it by walking into the corner of a table while heading for the switch.  Lovely bang on the outside of the thigh, and funny pins'n'needles feelings radiating from it every so often.  Hope there's a bruise.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 17 April, 2023, 06:41:27 pm


Ordered some electronics from Germany. Didn't notice the bit where it mentions power supply sold separately.

Now need to place a second order...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 April, 2023, 07:11:27 pm
“Aha!” said Mr Larrington.  “My route from Schloß von Brandenburg to Larrington Towers takes me right past the Happy Swedish Halls Of Joy in Greenwich.  I shall buy some picture frames, that I might frame the poster from last year’s Battle Mountain event and have a couple of others in reserve!”  And then checked with the knowledgeable the size of the said poster, and wrote down the size of frame required.

Whether I wrote down the frame size correctly I wot not, and the Post-It is now in a bin saarrff of the river.  But I am now the proud owner of three Ribba frames which are too small for the posters.  And the receipt is in the same bin as the Post-It :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 23 April, 2023, 11:34:42 am
Message to self, for future occasions. When fettling a bike on a stand and, having prepared to remove said bike on completion but noting something further to be done, please to remember to do up the stand jaws one more time, to avoid significant movement of the bike and potential pain.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 April, 2023, 01:05:49 pm
Put some linen pillow cases in the washing machine.  Run a half load cycle then hear a clunking sound.  There is something in there with them.


Cycle finishes & I take the stuff out.  The "Something" was a tub of Renapur Leather Balsam  https://renapur.com....... 


How the hell am I going to get my pillow cases and more importantly my washing machine clean....... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 April, 2023, 01:40:42 pm
Having looked up the melting points it looks like it's going to need to be a boil wash (for your washer). Soda crystals may help too. Put soda crystals in your washer when you do a boil wash and you could try soaking your linen in a separate solution of the same to see if it will break down the fat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 April, 2023, 01:47:37 pm
I'm running an empty 95C "Whites" wash at the moment.  If that doesn't get the inside of the machine clean I'll have to investigate chemical warfare!     
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 23 April, 2023, 01:48:58 pm
Nominating my son-in-law.

Visited for a week and sensibly brought his bike.

Leaving Sat on the ferry, he packs car, carefully taking wheels off bike and putting frame in first. All other luggage (lots when you have a toddler) added.

We leave them at ferry port and drive home. 5 min after driving home, phone call. Wheels left behind.

Cue dash to ferry port, arriving just in time (daughter is waiting in the port car park, SiL has driven onto ferry). Daughter then runs after car, one wheel in each hand.
Ah, that brings back a moment of extreme divness from many years ago. Do we allow historic events in this thread ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 23 April, 2023, 02:22:21 pm
Nominating my son-in-law.

Visited for a week and sensibly brought his bike.

Leaving Sat on the ferry, he packs car, carefully taking wheels off bike and putting frame in first. All other luggage (lots when you have a toddler) added.

We leave them at ferry port and drive home. 5 min after driving home, phone call. Wheels left behind.

Cue dash to ferry port, arriving just in time (daughter is waiting in the port car park, SiL has driven onto ferry). Daughter then runs after car, one wheel in each hand.
Ah, that brings back a moment of extreme divness from many years ago. Do we allow historic events in this thread ?

Across the road from where I used to live is a car park for the Stratford Greenway (NCN Rte 5, if you must) - over the years I must have taken at least half a dozen front wheels to the Police station lost property where people have, presumably, taken the wheel out and put the frame in their car and forgotten the wheel.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 April, 2023, 06:09:36 pm
Put some linen pillow cases in the washing machine.  Run a half load cycle then hear a clunking sound.  There is something in there with them.


Cycle finishes & I take the stuff out.  The "Something" was a tub of Renapur Leather Balsam  https://renapur.com....... 


How the hell am I going to get my pillow cases and more importantly my washing machine clean....... :facepalm:
Some years ago a friend gathered her duvet cover off the bed, where it had been placed after removing from the duvet,  and slung it in the washing machine.
The next two things occurred more or less simultaneously:
1. Wondering where her phone was.
2. Wondering what the clunking noise coming from the washing machine was.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 April, 2023, 12:10:17 am
Filling my not-my-car with motor-spirit after a long day of silly bike racing and slow going in atrocious weather on the M5, I returned from the till (not-my-fuelcard doesn't allow pay at pump) and got within arm's reach of opening the wrong car.  The adjacent pump was occupied by one that looked broadly similar:  Reasonably car-shaped, white, with colourful vinyl wrap logos, etc. so it was an easy mistake to make.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 24 April, 2023, 12:58:49 am
A fine effort  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 24 April, 2023, 07:46:52 am
I was making up a new radio box for my P2W yesterday (putting a PMR vehicle radio into a Peli case with antenna that'll go on my top box rack, to remove battery limitations and give better comms range compared to a handheld on my belt) as I couldn't fit one under the seat as I did on my last bike. Got to the point of being ready to solder the Peltor/Nexus headset jack on the cable (having remembered to slide the cable shell onto the cable first, not going to catch me out again with that rookie error), when I realised I couldn't find the crimp ring that acts as strain relief and holds the cable to the jack. So a look around, including moving the radio box and a few minutes later found the crimp ring on one side of the coffee table I was working on - carefully put to the side so I wouldn't knock it off and lose it.

So I went back to the radio box, and now couldn't find the shell I'd just put on. A good fifteen minutes of looking inside the box, inside my tool boxes, under the sofa, everywhere - including getting MrsH to help. Disappeared. So eventually I gave up for the afternoon and checked what availability was for a replacement (they'd been out of stock for ages at Mouser, but there they are "only" £19 each, compared to almost double anywhere else). When MrsH went to bed I thought I'd have another look, and found it in 5 seconds under the sofa where we'd both looked multiple times  ??? The other slightly odd thing was that I found it before, not immediately after, ordering a replacement.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 24 April, 2023, 08:19:40 am
Filling my not-my-car with motor-spirit after a long day of silly bike racing and slow going in atrocious weather on the M5, I returned from the till (not-my-fuelcard doesn't allow pay at pump) and got within arm's reach of opening the wrong car.  The adjacent pump was occupied by one that looked broadly similar:  Reasonably car-shaped, white, with colourful vinyl wrap logos, etc. so it was an easy mistake to make.

(click to show/hide)

At least you didn't get shot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 24 April, 2023, 12:23:51 pm
That thought did occur...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 27 April, 2023, 08:30:05 am
Gather round amateurs, see how it's done.

Little bit of scene setting, from my employment. We use some repository software that, in this instance will cost >£100k for a one time license, we need to use it in a way we have not done before, although we have teams of people in India trained in it. So clearly sending a mail to the directors of the supplying company, copying to all and sundry is a sensible way to go. The circle will get wider as various out of office are received. Eventually it ends up with their tech support team.

When their tech support team reply saying "We have no experience with <product> but call us and see what we can do" It is appropriate to get up a head of steam and compose a really sarky mail, after all who else would know what to do with it? In this instance, I just saved myself from even worse embarrassment from hitting send by realising I had been talking to entirely the wrong supplier.........
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 27 April, 2023, 07:30:23 pm
Not me but a bike servicing customer . . .  just brought the frame and forks for the bike to be serviced . .  didn't think I'd need the wheels    - I've emailed his mother asking her to bring the wheels.

As an aside it's a bit of an oddball being a Halfords Carrera "entry level road bike" that's been (I assume retro) fitted with an Ultegra chainset, BB & derailleurs!  [original machine retailed at £449 but was always discounted to £299]
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 27 April, 2023, 08:32:18 pm
In this instance, I just saved myself from even worse embarrassment from hitting send by realising I had been talking to entirely the wrong supplier.........

Good save!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 29 April, 2023, 03:34:50 pm
As an aside it's a bit of an oddball being a Halfords Carrera "entry level road bike" that's been (I assume retro) fitted with an Ultegra chainset, BB & derailleurs!  [original machine retailed at £449 but was always discounted to £299]

My hardtail MTB that I bought about 20 years ago to potter about with the kids on is a Claud Butler that cost me £199 new. Within three years it was on a mainly LX groupset (including hubs for the handbuilt Mavic Pro wheels) but with XTR shifters (those where you flick the brake lever up or down to change gear). The rear LX mech was one of the reverse type specifically for use with those shifters so both levers work in the same direction. The shifters alone were worth far more than the base bike cost, but worked really well for me with a hand injury I had at the time that meant I couldn't use trigger shifters and I couldn't get along with twist ones. I still use that bike, though it's had no component updates in the last decade.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 01 May, 2023, 08:23:59 pm
I buy olive oil in 5l containers, which I then decant into an old wine bottle with a pouring spout jammed into the top.


I've just used this to top up my glass of red wine......  it doesn't improve the flavour.    :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 01 May, 2023, 10:05:35 pm
Managed to trap a fox in my shed last night. Bit of a mess (a lot of stuff no longer in the roof space/ rafters), when I went to get the pump out at 5.30am, and had to leave the door ajar all day while I was cycling. Couldn't do any more than that, as I was meeting my mate at 06.00!



Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 May, 2023, 10:39:08 am
Last night when I got home from work I made myself a cup of tea. I carefully dumped out all the day before's tea leaves and washed the little receptacle.
Only when I was drinking my 2nd cup from the flask did I notice that I was drinking homeopathic tea.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 May, 2023, 10:58:13 am
[Placeholder for barakta's lost phone]
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 06 May, 2023, 01:23:29 pm
[Placeholder for barakta's lost phone]

Ah, was that what Andrew C was referring to as being found in her bra. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 07 May, 2023, 07:45:25 pm
Today I was coming down our steep and narrow stairs, which have a 90 degree turn at the bottom. Distracted, I got to the bottom step, and took the last step - except I was still 1 step up from the bottom. Cue a full length pitch, fortunately missing table and chairs, though collecting a significant bruise on mt forearm and shoulder from being arrested by the back of the sofa.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 May, 2023, 08:23:45 am
Today I was coming down our steep and narrow stairs, which have a 90 degree turn at the bottom. Distracted, I got to the bottom step, and took the last step - except I was still 1 step up from the bottom. Cue a full length pitch, fortunately missing table and chairs, though collecting a significant bruise on mt forearm and shoulder from being arrested by the back of the sofa.

Lucky. I did exactly that in July 2018, coming down on my bent right leg and putting a tear into the quad.  Needed an elastic bandage for 2 weeks, couldn't lift foot high enough to put trousers on, had to do it lying down.  Nearly a month before I could ride pain-free.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 08 May, 2023, 09:04:32 am


Stairs are dangerous. If we invented them today they'd never pass a health and safety risk assessment...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: pumpkin on 08 May, 2023, 10:34:16 am
Parked up. Bike set up to with a rack pack. Swung my right leg over, then a comedy fall in the road and it hurt. Elbow /hip. Sore today.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 08 May, 2023, 02:03:20 pm
Lunchtime cooking:  spread hot oil round the wok with a piece of kitchen paper folded in four, set it aside on plate, slapped in some ramen then water and put the lid on.  Picked up kitchen paper and wiped my hands on it. Ouch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 11 May, 2023, 07:49:36 am
Work has installed a Lavazza bean-to-cup machine (we havea new - Italian - facilities manager). This morning I had a cup of Mocha. Hmm, that's a bit splashy. Oh, wait, what's this silver lever to the side? Ah, it raises a lowers the filling head so as to be not-splashy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 11 May, 2023, 07:32:41 pm
Got a bit of egg yolk on my sweater. I know, a dab of washing machine detergent and a damp cloth, no biggie. And it wasn't, until the large plastic bottle of Ariel leapt out of slippy hands midway between sink and cupboard and fell to hit the tiled floor cracking completely open and bleeding thick blue goo everywhere. It's really difficult to clean up. It's like ectoplasm after a full-on exorcism.

House smells nice though and the yolk stain is gone.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 11 May, 2023, 10:44:18 pm
[Placeholder for barakta's lost phone]

Do we get the full story?

J
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: barakta on 11 May, 2023, 10:59:21 pm
[Placeholder for barakta's lost phone]

Do we get the full story?

J

I thought I'd lost my phone between car and tent... Couldn't find it. Signal dubious so wasn't ringing reliably.

I'd shoved it in my bra.

Various male people found this far more enticing and entertaining than it merited other than ObDivvery.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 11 May, 2023, 11:01:24 pm

I thought I'd lost my phone between car and tent... Couldn't find it. Signal dubious so wasn't ringing reliably.

I'd shoved it in my bra.

Various male people found this far more enticing and entertaining than it merited other than ObDivvery.

Bras make an excellent place to store phones. Esp as most modern phones are too big for the pockets women are allowed to have on trousers...

J

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 12 May, 2023, 01:54:02 pm
Exactly... I knew you'd get it.

Annoyingly Kim has AlpKit jeans with great pockets which even fit me but the waist isn't high enough for me (and Kim is relieved I won't steal her clothes)...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 12 May, 2023, 02:06:59 pm
Exactly... I knew you'd get it.

Annoyingly Kim has AlpKit jeans with great pockets which even fit me but the waist isn't high enough for me (and Kim is relieved I won't steal her clothes)...

I once crossed London with 3500 quid in unmarked consequential ten pound notes stuffed down my bra ...

If you sit in the restaurant on a ferry fixing punctures and pull the tools out of your bra, you get really strange looks. Can't think why...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 May, 2023, 07:48:17 pm
Annoyingly Kim has AlpKit jeans with great pockets which even fit me but the waist isn't high enough for me (and Kim is relieved I won't steal her clothes)...

The waist's not high enough for me either, but a couple of years ago I was in dire need of trousers about three sizes smaller, they were easy to order online from a company I like and, well, have pockets.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Clare on 13 May, 2023, 01:03:34 pm
Ah yes, left tit pocket and right tit pocket, useful places to store random shite and phones.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: arabella on 13 May, 2023, 09:06:59 pm
I think I should point out I've given up on "women's" trousers on account of lack of pockets.
"Men's" trousers fit me no worse and actually have pockets.  Alas the pockets are often made out of the flimsiest of flimsy cloth and so need mending/reinforcing on a regular basis.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 May, 2023, 09:05:47 am
Hmm, wonder why my dough isn’t rising…

Oh, hang on, what’s this little silver sachet sitting in the counter unopened?

:facepalm:
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 May, 2023, 03:49:43 pm
Baking related divvery part two:

Made my wife a batch of her gluten-free buckwheat crackers - mixed the dough this morning, left it to rest in the fridge. When I came to roll it out just now, it seemed strangely tough, as well as being much darker than usual…

And this is when I realised I’d used spelt flour instead of buckwheat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 15 May, 2023, 09:27:42 pm
Bollocks

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52900738096_b1f07fa771_b.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2oAE7pj)2023-05-15_09-26-07 (https://flic.kr/p/2oAE7pj) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 16 May, 2023, 08:34:30 am
Is Pingu OK? Still got both???
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 16 May, 2023, 09:06:08 am
SQUEEK


Non Temetis Messor
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 May, 2023, 09:27:43 am
Mrs P reported on Farcebok that she ate'nt dead :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 16 May, 2023, 09:43:47 am
Bollocks

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52900738096_b1f07fa771_b.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2oAE7pj)2023-05-15_09-26-07 (https://flic.kr/p/2oAE7pj) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Ouch!
Sorry to see that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 May, 2023, 09:46:56 am
Hope you didn't dull the edge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 16 May, 2023, 10:29:01 am
Bollocks

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52900738096_b1f07fa771_b.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2oAE7pj)2023-05-15_09-26-07 (https://flic.kr/p/2oAE7pj) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr

Again, my colour-blindness meant that I couldn't see what had caused the exclamation. It was only the context (subsequent replies) that led me to conclude there is blood somewhere in this pic.

I'm hoping it's the little blob, and not the large stain!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 16 May, 2023, 12:00:38 pm
^ This.

Reasonably sure the dried-on stuff is brown, which doesn't preclude it being blood.  The dark liquid could be anything on the blood/poo/oil spectrum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 May, 2023, 12:30:19 pm
I think the brown dried on crud on the blade is mud and the large damp patch under the blade I think is oil. The singular splat in front of the blade is red and I thus deduce that it is blood.

A honing accident?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 May, 2023, 05:15:50 pm
Beardy is correct, except what is on the blade is the remains of some sort of coating I think. I honed it fine but then got too much oil on the blade and slipped when trying to smear it about a bit. Teach me not to wear gloves.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 16 May, 2023, 05:26:52 pm
I surmise from that, you are using an oilstone, as opposed to a waterstone.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 May, 2023, 05:45:07 pm
Looks much more like claret on a Proper Computer than it does on a fondleslab too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 May, 2023, 08:53:09 pm
I surmise from that, you are using an oilstone, as opposed to a waterstone.

No. I used a whetstone to sharpen it, dried it off and then popped a bit of oil on it to stop it getting rusty.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 17 May, 2023, 12:48:35 am
I surmise from that, you are using an oilstone, as opposed to a waterstone.

No. I used a whetstone to sharpen it, dried it off and then popped a bit of oil on it to stop it getting rusty.

Note. A Whetstone is used to whet the blade. A Whetstone can be used wet, dry, or with oil. Or rather the stone used to whet a blade may be an oil stone, a Waterstone, a diamond plate, or ceramic.

It's a lovely quirk if English that we have whet and wet as homonyms. Especially as you can whet a blade while wet. But you can also whet it while dry...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 17 May, 2023, 01:09:48 am
What happens if you build a bridge out of them?  :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 17 May, 2023, 01:16:53 am
What happens if you build a bridge out of them?  :D

That would be a Wheatstone bridge...

A's are important...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 17 May, 2023, 07:24:11 am
That would be a Wheatstone bridge...

A's are important...

I think you'll find that in that case it's the Rs that are important.
Anyway, I'm that sure that any damage to the blade in that incident will polish out, so all's good.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 17 May, 2023, 09:44:03 pm
I surmise from that, you are using an oilstone, as opposed to a waterstone.

No. I used a whetstone to sharpen it, dried it off and then popped a bit of oil on it to stop it getting rusty.

Note. A Whetstone is used to whet the blade. A Whetstone can be used wet, dry, or with oil. Or rather the stone used to whet a blade may be an oil stone, a Waterstone, a diamond plate, or ceramic.

It's a lovely quirk if English that we have whet and wet as homonyms. Especially as you can whet a blade while wet. But you can also whet it while dry...

J

Alright, I meant what Jurek said, a water stone.
That's a lie. I meant I used a boat shaped stone soaked in water, whatever on earth that is called.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 21 May, 2023, 08:40:28 am
I spent last night cat-sitting while The Aussie did her Moonwalk.
Fed kitty this morning and let him out.
Locked the front door behind me and popped the keys through the letterbox, only to realise that I've left my phone indoors  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 May, 2023, 09:13:03 am
In July last year I met a chap who had done the Audaxes I used to organize >10 years ago.  He was interested in my bike motor, but since it needs 135 mm dropout spacing it wouldn't fit his bike.

Yesterday I phoned my motor's supplier and learned that they're bringing out a 131mm version.  This morning FB told me it was his birthday, so I dropped him a line to say happy birthday and give him the glad tidings.  His reply: last August he came off the bike and his hip prosthesis burst his left femur. He can scarcely walk and he'll never ride again.

I feel like a right arsehole now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 23 May, 2023, 10:18:21 am
In July last year I met a chap who had done the Audaxes I used to organize >10 years ago.  He was interested in my bike motor, but since it needs 135 mm dropout spacing it wouldn't fit his bike.

Yesterday I phoned my motor's supplier and learned that they're bringing out a 131mm version.  This morning FB told me it was his birthday, so I dropped him a line to say happy birthday and give him the glad tidings.  His reply: last August he came off the bike and his hip prosthesis burst his left femur. He can scarcely walk and he'll never ride again.

I feel like a right arsehole now.

Can't see how you were the div here.

I think the only response to this chap is "Well, that is absolutely crap".

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 May, 2023, 10:32:23 am
Ouch! What's that thing that's just stabbed the sole of my bare foot? I pull out from underneath the knuckle of my fourth toe a, mercifully short and straight, strand of the gear cable I installed a few weeks ago.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 May, 2023, 10:38:13 am
In July last year I met a chap who had done the Audaxes I used to organize >10 years ago.  He was interested in my bike motor, but since it needs 135 mm dropout spacing it wouldn't fit his bike.

Yesterday I phoned my motor's supplier and learned that they're bringing out a 131mm version.  This morning FB told me it was his birthday, so I dropped him a line to say happy birthday and give him the glad tidings.  His reply: last August he came off the bike and his hip prosthesis burst his left femur. He can scarcely walk and he'll never ride again.

I feel like a right arsehole now.

Can't see how you were the div here.

I think the only response to this chap is "Well, that is absolutely crap".

More or less what I told him.  No, I realise it's not divvery, it just feels that way.  To paraphrase Mr. Bennet, I daresay I'll get over it, and a lot sooner than I should.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 27 May, 2023, 07:45:57 pm
I failed to recognise the fusebox on a Mercedes Sprinter van in spite of the face that the word "Fusebox" was written on it in large, friendly letters:-
(https://mtrak.co.uk/pictures/tools.JPG)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 May, 2023, 07:56:58 pm
I assume by the presence of a wheel nut spanner and removable towing eye, to say nothing of fuses, that it's somewhere inaccessible when the van is fully loaded?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 27 May, 2023, 08:03:00 pm
You were subconsciously expecting it to be in Deutsch?  Like Mercedes, of course ...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 27 May, 2023, 08:06:07 pm


I am making a Thing. For this I need some M4 bolts. I measures carefully for length. And then ordered some M4 x 40 bolts from AliExpress as I was ordering other stuff anyway.

The bolts arrive. I test fit. I check again. Oh arse. Right. Let's try that again, bit remember to leave enough bolt sticking out for the nut... Not just the thickness of the Things...

So as it's a sunny day I cycle to the hardware store and buy 4 M5x50 bolts.

Anyone spot the error on this one ?

Argh.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 27 May, 2023, 08:11:26 pm
Motorway travel is so confusing!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 27 May, 2023, 08:18:02 pm
I assume by the presence of a wheel nut spanner and removable towing eye, to say nothing of fuses, that it's somewhere inaccessible when the van is fully loaded?
Not really. Passenger footwell, so once I had move the normal pile of teetering crap that accumulates there in work vans, it wasn't too difficult to find.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 27 May, 2023, 08:18:10 pm
Anyone spot the error on this one ?

Argh.

J
;D Thanks, needed that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 27 May, 2023, 08:51:54 pm
I assume by the presence of a wheel nut spanner and removable towing eye, to say nothing of fuses, that it's somewhere inaccessible when the van is fully loaded?
Not really. Passenger footwell, so once I had move the normal pile of teetering crap that accumulates there in work vans, it wasn't too difficult to find.

How refreshingly sensible.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 May, 2023, 08:08:56 am
Anyone spot the error on this one ?

Argh.

J
;D Thanks, needed that.

Me too also as well. I haven't done the same but I have failed to notice the word Torx on the pack back before I had Torx drivers.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 28 May, 2023, 10:30:10 am
A recent one and an old one.

1. I was making chocolate mousse for the first time last weekend. Even though I was repeating the recipe instructions, mantra-like, to avoid divvery, I still found myself putting the separated yolks into the mixing bowl while chanting "whisk three egg whites with a pinch of salt, whisk three egg whites with a pinch of salt..."

2. While building up a bike yesterday I definitely didn't cut the long (rear) mech cable to use on the front mech, thus leaving myself with a front mech cable for the rear mech. I'm not being sarcastic - I really didn't do that. But it's only because I've done it so often in the past (well, maybe twice) that I will never do it again.

Probably.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 30 May, 2023, 11:14:51 pm
After a mere 48 years, my better half has me pretty well domesticated.

When getting home from long rides now, instead of chucking my sportswear on the floor, I put it in the washing machine and start it, before having a shower.

Contact lens wearers are told to remove contact lenses before showering.

Removing contact lenses with concentrated washing liquid on one's fingers is the height of divvitude.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 May, 2023, 07:55:43 am

Contact lens wearers are told to remove contact lenses before showering.


Not sure where you got that pearl of wisdom from. In 35 years of wearing them I've never removed them for showering, nor been told to.  You can even swim in them, but that may mean a custom fit pair that grip to the eyeball better/cover a larger area and so are less apt to float off.

But yes, divvery putting soapy fingers onto lenses.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 31 May, 2023, 08:25:52 am
When getting home from long rides now, instead of chucking my sportswear on the floor, I put it in the washing machine and start it, before having a shower.

Crikey, we save it up until we have a load, normally 3 rides for me and several walk/run outings for MrsT.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 31 May, 2023, 08:30:42 am

Contact lens wearers are told to remove contact lenses before showering.


Not sure where you got that pearl of wisdom from. In 35 years of wearing them I've never removed them for showering, nor been told to.  You can even swim in them, but that may mean a custom fit pair that grip to the eyeball better/cover a larger area and so are less apt to float off.

But yes, divvery putting soapy fingers onto lenses.

It is current advice, and likewise, the previous decades of showering with them in didn't give me the problems in the eye that they warn about now. Apparently, there are waterborne gremlins that can live / fester / breed behind them. I only wear daily lenses so perhaps it is different for hard lens wearers, but I can't see (??) how.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 31 May, 2023, 08:37:13 am

Contact lens wearers are told to remove contact lenses before showering.


Not sure where you got that pearl of wisdom from. In 35 years of wearing them I've never removed them for showering, nor been told to.  You can even swim in them, but that may mean a custom fit pair that grip to the eyeball better/cover a larger area and so are less apt to float off.

But yes, divvery putting soapy fingers onto lenses.

It is current advice, and likewise, the previous decades of showering with them in didn't give me the problems in the eye that they warn about now. Apparently, there are waterborne gremlins that can live / fester / breed behind them. I only wear daily lenses so perhaps it is different for hard lens wearers, but I can't see (??) how.

Yep… absolutely!  It was what I was told - not just by my optometrist but by an ophthalmologist colleague.  No lenses when showering and only when swimming/diving if wearing tight fit goggles/mask or a diving helmet.

https://www.visiondirect.co.uk/wearing-lenses/can-i-shower-while-wearing-contact-lenses
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 31 May, 2023, 10:56:03 am
Anyone spot the error on this one ?

BTDTGTTS many times over...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 May, 2023, 06:49:07 pm

Contact lens wearers are told to remove contact lenses before showering.


Not sure where you got that pearl of wisdom from. In 35 years of wearing them I've never removed them for showering, nor been told to.  You can even swim in them, but that may mean a custom fit pair that grip to the eyeball better/cover a larger area and so are less apt to float off.

But yes, divvery putting soapy fingers onto lenses.

It is current advice, and likewise, the previous decades of showering with them in didn't give me the problems in the eye that they warn about now. Apparently, there are waterborne gremlins that can live / fester / breed behind them. I only wear daily lenses so perhaps it is different for hard lens wearers, but I can't see (??) how.

To be fair I only ever wore either daily disposables, or monthly (soft) lenses that I disinfected every day. There are those who wear lenses for days or weeks on end, and then you can get infections and ulceration. If you manage to wear gas permeable hard lenses for 8 hours a day you’re doing well - my first ones were because affordable soft torics didn’t exist then.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 31 May, 2023, 07:09:47 pm
Anyone spot the error on this one ?

BTDTGTTS many times over...

This is one I have yet to commit. It is only a matter of time before I too buy bolts of the wrong nominal diameter.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 01 June, 2023, 07:44:35 am
I too over/under estimate how long a bolt needs to be. However, I did get around to buying a big compartmented storage box, so rather than random bags of a few bolts stashed all over the place they are now together and sorted by diameter and length. That's been a massive time saver as I can see at a glance what I'm running short of, and usually have something pretty close to, if not exactly right, for the job at hand.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 01 June, 2023, 02:17:55 pm

Contact lens wearers are told to remove contact lenses before showering.


Not sure where you got that pearl of wisdom from. In 35 years of wearing them I've never removed them for showering, nor been told to.  You can even swim in them, but that may mean a custom fit pair that grip to the eyeball better/cover a larger area and so are less apt to float off.

But yes, divvery putting soapy fingers onto lenses.

It is current advice, and likewise, the previous decades of showering with them in didn't give me the problems in the eye that they warn about now. Apparently, there are waterborne gremlins that can live / fester / breed behind them. I only wear daily lenses so perhaps it is different for hard lens wearers, but I can't see (??) how.

To be fair I only ever wore either daily disposables, or monthly (soft) lenses that I disinfected every day. There are those who wear lenses for days or weeks on end, and then you can get infections and ulceration. If you manage to wear gas permeable hard lenses for 8 hours a day you’re doing well - my first ones were because affordable soft torics didn’t exist then.
I've been wearing gas permeables and before that old skool hard lenses from 1st thing in the morning till last thing at night for over 35 years...
They do tell you not to shower in them. My usual process is to have my morning shower before I put my lenses in, but if I shower at another time of day I don't take them out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: bhoot on 01 June, 2023, 02:31:11 pm
As Fimm but for 45 years! I don't remember being told about showering, and wasn't given any warning at my recent new lens fitting a month or so ago. Maybe the optician assumed I knew that? I would also tend to shower first in the morning, but definitely haven't removed them if showering later. I also wear for swimming in some situations (and used to wear when sailing so often in a wet environment)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 01 June, 2023, 07:18:49 pm
I don't often wear them in the shower because I've just got up, but I do specifically wear lenses for the pool since I can't be arsed with the faff of prescription goggles. I figure there's a small chance of amoeboid brain liquefaction but I wear goggles and not much water gets in, plus as a council pool, it's 95% bleach to sterilize the kiddies. Any amoeba that could survive that would probably be off stomping a town centre somewhere.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 02 June, 2023, 08:23:24 am
I used to wear mine all the time, swimming (without goggles), showering and sleeping on audax. I wore them for 104 hours of LEL and 84 hours of PBP...

I now nearly never wear them. I'd started getting the things they warn you about. Prescription goggles were £20 from Amazon- I don't need to cure the astigmatisms, just see the clock from in the water.

:shrug: we're all going to die of something. Losing your eyesight from showering in contacts= very low risk.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 02 June, 2023, 06:14:37 pm
Ahhh but have you ever managed to get a tiny spot of concentrated washing liquid (which you had no idea was on your finger) in your eye?

Since my wake up divverism, I will always shower between doing domesticated tasks and taking out my lenses!

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 02 June, 2023, 09:55:59 pm
I wear them less now because multifocal lenses at the mega diopters I need aren't very good compared to multifocal spectacles. I do need lenses in the pool so I can harshly judge people's tattoos.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 June, 2023, 09:32:03 pm
Did some jibbling of the roofrack and Pino today, on account of the new Pino being a different size to the old one. This included releasing the front seat QR, flipping it forward, scratching head and flipping it back.

Jibbling complete we set off for a pootle. My, I think, this steering is heavy. Pause to add a bar to the front tyre. Not much improvement.  Off we go.  There's a New! Slightly Worrying! squeak from the front seat, or is from the handlebars? (Pino handlebars run close to and beneath the front seat). I put it down to have loosened and then retightened the webbing straps that are part of the front seat.  It goes away. We do more miles, steering as heavy as ever.

Then lightbulb moment. Had I refastened the front seat QR? We stop. No. No I had not. What is more, the part that should be held by the QR skewer was just resting on the frame, with a nice wear mark where the steering was rubbing on it. Reattached it properly and tightened the QR. Steering back as how it should be. We celebrate by hitting 64km/h down the hill into town and buy ice creams.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 June, 2023, 06:14:35 pm
Note to self: if you have a Windows .bat file to:
then it is wise to ensure you specify the name of the source directory correctly.  Otherwise you will belatedly discover that you've been using an outdated version for the past couple of months :facepalm:

Fortunately they ent mods for public consumption.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 June, 2023, 09:24:03 pm
.bat files? How quaint.  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 06 June, 2023, 09:50:09 pm
I have always pictured Señor Larrer's computer ensemble to be some kind of steaming jam-lubricated babbage engine of Brobdingnagian proportion that must be regularly encouraged in its functions with the vehement application of a large hammer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 06 June, 2023, 11:36:50 pm
I now have in mind something akin to Hex, the Discworld's first computer. ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 June, 2023, 12:12:55 am
.bat files? How quaint.  ;D

All it needs to do is:
and given the lack of complexity of the mods in question – i.e. no huge graphics files – double-click it and it's finished before you can blink.  Much easier than faffing around in File Mangler or Windholes Exploder or whatever it’s called this week.

I have always pictured Señor Larrer's computer ensemble to be some kind of steaming jam-lubricated babbage engine of Brobdingnagian proportion that must be regularly encouraged in its functions with the vehement application of a large hammer.

I now have in mind something akin to Hex, the Discworld's first computer. ;D

That box is a chunky i7-propelled sub-desk wossname with 32GB of RAM, Nvidia 2070 picture card, two 4k minotaurs and four (4) SSDs, because I could.  Wired network.  And a twenty-five y/o IBM Model M keyboard.  Hasn’t needed percussive maintenance yet but then I've only had it just over a year…  There are various other Things around the place too, ranging from a tolerably sprightly Quiet PC to a 14 y/o Asus Eee PC which conked out trying to do a Windows update last year and needs to be replaced with the less ancient Asus that’s currently idling under the coffee table in a state of not-plugged-in-ness, that I might channel tunes to the amp and squeakers in the Grand Bedchamber.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 June, 2023, 12:56:55 pm
Note to self: after kicking off* the weekly backup of Bruiser McHuge the thick end of two hours ago it is probably better if, on returning to said Babbage-Engine post Brown Drink, you press the button to switch on the amplifier rather than the power switch on the PC :facepalm:  Fortunately able to poke "Cancel" before it started killing Stuff utterly to DETH.

* Because Macrium Reflect won't play nicely with a WD MyCloud drive I have to delete the oldest backup set manually before kicking off the next one, otherwise it runs for a couple of hours, deletes the old one and crashes chiz.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 12 June, 2023, 06:18:07 pm
GN:  I went to the Liverpool University Sports Centre and collected my Shiny New £388 annual membership card.


MGN: I can remember how to swim !   25M pool, 10 lengths of freestyle & 10 lengths of breast stroke had me tired out,  it's been 6-7 years since I last swam.


BN:  On exiting the shower & changing area I cannot find my Shiny New membership card despite checking the locker & cubical I'd used.    The girl on the desk laughed & giggled when I reported this, but promised to email me if it is handed in.   If not I'll have to arrange a replacement  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 13 June, 2023, 05:51:49 pm
Who left the lid of the freezer open last night, then?


Fortunately, the biggest issue seems to be that we will need to defrost it rather sooner than otherwise. Everything was pretty well solid when we checked this morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 13 June, 2023, 07:45:24 pm
Who left the lid of the freezer open last night, then?


Fortunately, the biggest issue seems to be that we will need to defrost it rather sooner than otherwise. Everything was pretty well solid when we checked this morning.
You would have had a worse result on a freezer with a door. Convection, or the lack of it in an open-topped freezer, was your friend.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 June, 2023, 06:45:30 pm
“Bumskins!” shouted Mr Larrington, as he discovered that while he bought sossidges on Monday he neglected to purchase bready product to accompany them.  Thereby necessitating an unscheduled trip to Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles.  Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 14 June, 2023, 07:15:15 pm
Not sure this goes in this thread or the Good News Bad News one.
MrsC and I have taken to drinking 0% Tanqueray gin and tonic on our non-drinking nights.
Enjoying a glass on the lawn last night, MrsC asked how much of the 0% stuff we had left. I'll check when I get the next one, says I.
So, I pour out two more gins, then check in the cupboard for any more bottles. Good, there is a full one here. Except that the label doesn't look quite the same as the one I have been using.
You can work the rest out.


We did have a 0% one later. The difference was noticeable, but not in a bad way, just different. I think I'd be hard pressed to work out which one had the alcohol and which one didn't.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 14 June, 2023, 09:13:56 pm
Hmm, interesting
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 June, 2023, 09:26:22 pm
If you took my approach and used gin to dilute the tonic to homoeopathic proportions you'd notice the abv. No one wants to risk a quinine overdose.

In other news, I spy a big box labelled 'Silent Pool' in the hallway.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 15 June, 2023, 07:14:46 pm
Divery, but I got away with it.
Today I was priming (70% emulsion  - 30% water) the plasterboards in our refurbished side entrance hall way. 
Phone in breast pocket of overalls, which I'd neglected to fasten.  Bent down to reload the paint roller and out slid the phone.
Made a fantastic save by kicking it aside at the last moment just before disaster.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 15 June, 2023, 07:22:12 pm
Talent.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 15 June, 2023, 07:24:18 pm
Spatterdash specialist.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 15 June, 2023, 07:25:16 pm
Talent.

Thank you  :smug:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 June, 2023, 11:13:32 pm
Divery, but I got away with it.
Today I was priming (70% emulsion  - 30% water) the plasterboards in our refurbished side entrance hall way. 
Phone in breast pocket of overalls, which I'd neglected to fasten.  Bent down to reload the paint roller and out slid the phone.
Made a fantastic save by kicking it aside at the last moment just before disaster.
Best laugh of the day!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 16 June, 2023, 08:33:53 am
Solid phone, good footwork. My old Motorola bounced off the ground a few times before Google decided it was out of date
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 16 June, 2023, 01:33:06 pm
For a second I though you mean you'd kicked the paint wossname aside, which would earn full div points.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 June, 2023, 01:53:10 pm
Just because your single pannier contains naught but six bread rolls, a bag of sugar and a multi-pack of Fizzy Pop does not mean you can ride flat-out like hell maximum attack back from the shops, because it is hot out there.

(Collapses in steaming puddle)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 16 June, 2023, 03:13:56 pm
Just because your single pannier contains naught but six bread rolls, a bag of sugar and a multi-pack of Fizzy Pop does not mean you can ride flat-out like hell maximum attack back from the shops, because it is hot out there.

(Collapses in steaming puddle)

At least you had plenty of carbs on hand to replenish your energy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 June, 2023, 03:28:45 pm
That large round thing on the front of my shiny new shorts surely signifies a press-stud fastener at the waist, no?

(Pulls vigorously)

Oh.  No, it is not.  It is a hook and loop contraption.  Or rather a hook and no loop contraption.  Time to break out the needle and thread :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 June, 2023, 09:43:06 am
Got bearing grease onto one of my woodwork benches.  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 22 June, 2023, 05:11:34 pm
Spent quite a few minutes hunting for the magic link in the chain of a bike I have in for service . . .  there MUST be one, I thought.   

Then remembered the bike was one I built about 4 years ago, customer insisting on using a Shimano chain with a pressed-in link ( I hate them!) as it came as part of a special offer groupset from Madison.   Bike has only done about 1,000 miles and loads of life left so it'll get cleaned in situ.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 23 June, 2023, 09:26:23 am
Not me, but MrsC

She had a kiln-full of pottery to fire. We get much cheaper electricity overnight, so she usually stays up (napping on sofa) to supervise kiln, and alter the power settings through the firing.

So, about midnight, she turns the kiln on - power on low, turn on the timer, set the kiln-sitter (cutout that works on wax cones). Goes to sleep on sofa.

About 3 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power.

About 6 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power . . . thinks, hang on, why is the kiln only warm?

She'd turn the timer dial the wrong way so it only stayed on for an hour or so.

Divvery will cost her another night on the sofa.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 23 June, 2023, 05:13:27 pm
Not me, but MrsC

She had a kiln-full of pottery to fire. We get much cheaper electricity overnight, so she usually stays up (napping on sofa) to supervise kiln, and alter the power settings through the firing.

So, about midnight, she turns the kiln on - power on low, turn on the timer, set the kiln-sitter (cutout that works on wax cones). Goes to sleep on sofa.

About 3 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power.

About 6 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power . . . thinks, hang on, why is the kiln only warm?

She'd turn the timer dial the wrong way so it only stayed on for an hour or so.

Divvery will cost her another night on the sofa.

I would have thought that programmable temperature controllers are now cheap enough to make for a good night's sleep.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048 (https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048) or you could have two or three very cheap ones and some time to change between them
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: hatler on 26 June, 2023, 10:04:50 am
Thought I'd get myself a spare wheel rim for the boat trailer and two new tyres. One of the existing tyres was looking pretty dodgy (probably the one facing south where the trailer was usually parked) so rather than face being stranded on some motorway somewhere I thought I'd invest in a spare, using the better of the two existing tyres.

Ordered the bits having brought one of the trailer wheels home and ever so carefully thrice measured the PCD.

Rim and tyres arrive. Tyres are good, the rim's PCD is 115mm, I need 4".

Gah !   How did I get that so wrong ?   The best I can hope to claim is that I clicked the wrong button on the website.

Bloody hell.

An £18 rim and I've had to spend 2 x £6 on postage to get it sorted out.

Pillock.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 June, 2023, 10:30:33 am
Not me, but MrsC

She had a kiln-full of pottery to fire. We get much cheaper electricity overnight, so she usually stays up (napping on sofa) to supervise kiln, and alter the power settings through the firing.

So, about midnight, she turns the kiln on - power on low, turn on the timer, set the kiln-sitter (cutout that works on wax cones). Goes to sleep on sofa.

About 3 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power.

About 6 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power . . . thinks, hang on, why is the kiln only warm?

She'd turn the timer dial the wrong way so it only stayed on for an hour or so.

Divvery will cost her another night on the sofa.

I would have thought that programmable temperature controllers are now cheap enough to make for a good night's sleep.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048 (https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048) or you could have two or three very cheap ones and some time to change between them

They are a bit non-trivial to wire into a kiln that wasn't built for them.

Incompatible wiring harness, plus you need to add a temperature probe (which means cutting a hole in the kiln).

The kiln saga got a bit worse - she tried again on Fri. 3am, turned power up to full, a bit of a bang and everything went off.

I was woken at 7 and informed. Things went bang when she turned the middle element up, that element is the only one using the original power switch, so I thought 'old switch blown'.

Tested it and checked - no fault. No issue with turning on full power.

The only thing I could find was that the connector was a bit close to the bent end of the element, so possibly it arced. That would trigger the circuit breakers. So, gingerly adjusted that (everything is in very fragile ceramic insulators).

Refired on Sat. Waiting for kiln to cool to see if it worked . . .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 26 June, 2023, 10:40:47 am
Not me, but MrsC

She had a kiln-full of pottery to fire. We get much cheaper electricity overnight, so she usually stays up (napping on sofa) to supervise kiln, and alter the power settings through the firing.

So, about midnight, she turns the kiln on - power on low, turn on the timer, set the kiln-sitter (cutout that works on wax cones). Goes to sleep on sofa.

About 3 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power.

About 6 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power . . . thinks, hang on, why is the kiln only warm?

She'd turn the timer dial the wrong way so it only stayed on for an hour or so.

Divvery will cost her another night on the sofa.

I would have thought that programmable temperature controllers are now cheap enough to make for a good night's sleep.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048 (https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048) or you could have two or three very cheap ones and some time to change between them

They are a bit non-trivial to wire into a kiln that wasn't built for them.

Incompatible wiring harness, plus you need to add a temperature probe (which means cutting a hole in the kiln).

The kiln saga got a bit worse - she tried again on Fri. 3am, turned power up to full, a bit of a bang and everything went off.

I was woken at 7 and informed. Things went bang when she turned the middle element up, that element is the only one using the original power switch, so I thought 'old switch blown'.

Tested it and checked - no fault. No issue with turning on full power.

The only thing I could find was that the connector was a bit close to the bent end of the element, so possibly it arced. That would trigger the circuit breakers. So, gingerly adjusted that (everything is in very fragile ceramic insulators).

Refired on Sat. Waiting for kiln to cool to see if it worked . . .
How is the temperature measured at the moment?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 26 June, 2023, 10:54:12 am
Kilns are horrible things. MrsH has one for glass work, that lived in the garage. I spent ages trying to sort out a thermocouple error. It intermittently complained that the thermocouple was reversed.

Eventually, it turned out that if it was below freezing, the controllers's programming couldn't cope with the initial negative temperature (as in, it was putting heat in, but the temperature absolute value in Celsius is decreasing as it approaches zero from the negative side). So after a few minutes it would decide there was a fault and shut down. The short term solution was to go back outside after a few minutes to see if it had errored, and restart it. In that case, the heater had put enough heat into it that it was now above zero so didn't error again.
The slightly better solution was to find space for the kiln in the house so waste heat went into raising our dining room temperature rather than losing it in the garage.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 June, 2023, 11:14:44 am
Not me, but MrsC

She had a kiln-full of pottery to fire. We get much cheaper electricity overnight, so she usually stays up (napping on sofa) to supervise kiln, and alter the power settings through the firing.

So, about midnight, she turns the kiln on - power on low, turn on the timer, set the kiln-sitter (cutout that works on wax cones). Goes to sleep on sofa.

About 3 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power.

About 6 am, wanders out to pottery, turns up the power . . . thinks, hang on, why is the kiln only warm?

She'd turn the timer dial the wrong way so it only stayed on for an hour or so.

Divvery will cost her another night on the sofa.

I would have thought that programmable temperature controllers are now cheap enough to make for a good night's sleep.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048 (https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/185781621048) or you could have two or three very cheap ones and some time to change between them

They are a bit non-trivial to wire into a kiln that wasn't built for them.

Incompatible wiring harness, plus you need to add a temperature probe (which means cutting a hole in the kiln).

The kiln saga got a bit worse - she tried again on Fri. 3am, turned power up to full, a bit of a bang and everything went off.

I was woken at 7 and informed. Things went bang when she turned the middle element up, that element is the only one using the original power switch, so I thought 'old switch blown'.

Tested it and checked - no fault. No issue with turning on full power.

The only thing I could find was that the connector was a bit close to the bent end of the element, so possibly it arced. That would trigger the circuit breakers. So, gingerly adjusted that (everything is in very fragile ceramic insulators).

Refired on Sat. Waiting for kiln to cool to see if it worked . . .
How is the temperature measured at the moment?

On the older system, you don't measure temperature, you measure 'heat work' (basically the amount of heat energy put into the kiln).

This is done by using some special wax cones that droop at specified heat-work amounts. A little rod has one end resting on a cone, when the cone 'droops', a physical cut-off actuates and cuts the power to the elements.

So, in a way, it is fool-proof. The painful bit is that temperatures need altering throughout the firing process; you start low, take it up to a setting and hold, then up again etc. There are peepholes so you can check the cone state (a rack holds a set of them, picked for different firing points).

The modern controllers are programmable for temperature settings, so they take the kiln up to a temp, hold it, up etc (and a controlled cooldown process).  They rely on the potter knowing exactly the heat work they want for specific glaze effects (the same glazes will have different colours and finishes depending on how long they were held at specific temperatures).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 26 June, 2023, 11:37:24 am
Kilns are horrible things. MrsH has one for glass work, that lived in the garage. I spent ages trying to sort out a thermocouple error. It intermittently complained that the thermocouple was reversed.

Eventually, it turned out that if it was below freezing, the controllers's programming couldn't cope with the initial negative temperature (as in, it was putting heat in, but the temperature absolute value in Celsius is decreasing as it approaches zero from the negative side). So after a few minutes it would decide there was a fault and shut down. The short term solution was to go back outside after a few minutes to see if it had errored, and restart it. In that case, the heater had put enough heat into it that it was now above zero so didn't error again.
The slightly better solution was to find space for the kiln in the house so waste heat went into raising our dining room temperature rather than losing it in the garage.
That is some truly terrible programming.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 26 June, 2023, 11:45:46 am
Indeed. That's a Sentry Xpress controller. Probably doesn't matter in the majority of installations, but I did find some online discussions about this so it wasn't only me having the issue.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 June, 2023, 12:51:30 pm
Kilns are horrible things. MrsH has one for glass work, that lived in the garage. I spent ages trying to sort out a thermocouple error. It intermittently complained that the thermocouple was reversed.

Eventually, it turned out that if it was below freezing, the controllers's programming couldn't cope with the initial negative temperature (as in, it was putting heat in, but the temperature absolute value in Celsius is decreasing as it approaches zero from the negative side). So after a few minutes it would decide there was a fault and shut down. The short term solution was to go back outside after a few minutes to see if it had errored, and restart it. In that case, the heater had put enough heat into it that it was now above zero so didn't error again.
The slightly better solution was to find space for the kiln in the house so waste heat went into raising our dining room temperature rather than losing it in the garage.
That is some truly terrible programming.

They should have configured it to work in Kelvin.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rower40 on 26 June, 2023, 01:32:33 pm
Kilns are horrible things. MrsH has one for glass work, that lived in the garage. I spent ages trying to sort out a thermocouple error. It intermittently complained that the thermocouple was reversed.

Eventually, it turned out that if it was below freezing, the controllers's programming couldn't cope with the initial negative temperature (as in, it was putting heat in, but the temperature absolute value in Celsius is decreasing as it approaches zero from the negative side). So after a few minutes it would decide there was a fault and shut down. The short term solution was to go back outside after a few minutes to see if it had errored, and restart it. In that case, the heater had put enough heat into it that it was now above zero so didn't error again.
The slightly better solution was to find space for the kiln in the house so waste heat went into raising our dining room temperature rather than losing it in the garage.
That is some truly terrible programming.
Is there demand for a "Programming that makes you cringe" thread?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 26 June, 2023, 02:42:22 pm
Kilns are horrible things. MrsH has one for glass work, that lived in the garage. I spent ages trying to sort out a thermocouple error. It intermittently complained that the thermocouple was reversed.

Eventually, it turned out that if it was below freezing, the controllers's programming couldn't cope with the initial negative temperature (as in, it was putting heat in, but the temperature absolute value in Celsius is decreasing as it approaches zero from the negative side). So after a few minutes it would decide there was a fault and shut down. The short term solution was to go back outside after a few minutes to see if it had errored, and restart it. In that case, the heater had put enough heat into it that it was now above zero so didn't error again.
The slightly better solution was to find space for the kiln in the house so waste heat went into raising our dining room temperature rather than losing it in the garage.
That is some truly terrible programming.
Is there demand for a "Programming that makes you cringe" thread?
I would have lots of material for that.
Quite a lot of that material would have been written by someone who wasn't me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 26 June, 2023, 05:22:12 pm
Quote from: rower40
Is there demand for a "Programming that makes you cringe" thread?

There's a whole web site ... https://thedailywtf.com

And the reason I dropped by.  Don't dope tissue in v. v. hot weather.  The solvent evaporates so quickly it turns to porridge on the wing/fuselage/whatever leaving horrid brush marks.  Bum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 26 June, 2023, 10:48:04 pm

A friend gave me a skirt. It's long, and light, and made of linen and it's really comfy in this heat. It also has pockets! Pockets!!!

I'm not used to having skirts with pockets and didn't check them befor I put it in the washing machine.

My wallet is now very clean... Fortunately the only casualty is my Lego VIP card.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 27 June, 2023, 12:45:56 pm

Minor divery.

The bar tape on my bike got damaged by a moron of an NS train guard. So It needed to come off, and go back on.

Turns out when I put this tape on I put the two sides of rape on in different directions (or the same direction depending on how you look at it). So one side is wrapped outside to in, and one is wrapped inside to out. Not sure wtf I was thinking when I did this.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 27 June, 2023, 12:58:26 pm
Not me, but my 86 year old mother.   She put a wheat bag in the microwave to heat up.  By the sound of things she didn't put it in the middle of the platter & it got jammed against the inner wall of the el cheapo microwave & melted a hole in it...  luckily my sister smelt the smoke...... :jurek:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 27 June, 2023, 05:34:01 pm
The stainless drainer by my sink builds up a layer of limescale quite quickly.
The water round here is harder than Don Logan.
The preferred method of removal is to cover it with a couple of layers of kitchen paper, douse well with limescale remover, leave for a couple of hours and then simply wipe the entire gritty gunk away.
I did this earlier today.
I then decided to up the dose of limescale remover.
Only using......... Vanish.
WTAF?
That's for taking stains out of my clothing.
Which may suffer, but not usually from limescale.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: jsabine on 29 June, 2023, 12:52:26 am
I then decided to up the dose of limescale remover.
Only using......... Vanish.

IRTA Varnish. That *would* have been divvery.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 29 June, 2023, 09:43:30 am
Went to the Co-op on Myrtle St, bought some shopping, put my debit card in a trouser pocket with my phone.  On the way back at the junction of Myrtle St & Grove St I took the phone out of my pocket to take a pic of some flats being demolished.  When I got home I couldn't find the card.   Retraced my route & asked in the shop but no sign of it.   Luckily the phone app makes it simple to cancel & order a new one.    :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 June, 2023, 11:35:28 am
Someone who shall remain nameless, but we'll refer to as 'barakta', has bogwashed her hearing aid...

It's had the battery removed, poo washed off, been given a thorough squirting of IPA[1] and is now getting the warm dry air treatment in the back of the server rack.  I'm not hopeful.


[1] Not BEER.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 29 June, 2023, 12:56:09 pm
Someone who shall remain nameless, but we'll refer to as 'barakta', has bogwashed her hearing aid...

It's had the battery removed, poo washed off, been given a thorough squirting of IPA[1] and is now getting the warm dry air treatment in the back of the server rack.  I'm not hopeful.


[1] Not BEER.
Hopefully the hearing aid clinic will also carry a stock of CI HAs as it does regular HAs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 June, 2023, 01:02:45 pm
Hopefully the hearing aid clinic will also carry a stock of CI HAs as it does regular HAs.

It's a BAHA not a CI processor, but it seems to suffer from the same problem where they're expensive enough to be purchased on a case-by-case basis, which means that if you need one in a hurry, they're scrabbling around for whatever old ones (likely with undocumented minor faults) they have in a drawer.

Fortunately, barakta has two.  And only uses one the vast majority of the time (two are occasionally useful for filling in the other side, but mostly it's just more noise).

And she's already got an appointment in a couple of weeks time to be upgraded to the New! Shiny! thinks-it's-even-more-cleverer-than-you latest model, which she will inevitably hate because of some combination of: AGC, inability to give her a sharp response peak at 1kHz, stateful beep-based UI, over-reliance on The Devil's Other Radio, general fiddliness and a lack of physical buttons.  (Seriously, the only thing worse than barakta swearing at Microsoft/Adobe products, is barakta with a new hearing aid.  She's also not wrong.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 June, 2023, 01:12:59 pm
Someone who shall remain nameless, but we'll refer to as 'barakta', has bogwashed her hearing aid...

It's had the battery removed, poo washed off, been given a thorough squirting of IPA[1] and is now getting the warm dry air treatment in the back of the server rack.  I'm not hopeful.


[1] Not BEER.
More appropriate for a hearing aid would be the other, other IPA; International Phonetic Alphabet.

And I don't know barakta's opinions on spiders:
(https://www.arachnology.cz/pic/20151204/1449261079-obr-b-ipa-keyserlingi-80720.jpg)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ipa_(spider)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 29 June, 2023, 04:48:21 pm
To be fair, this was me using TWO hearing aids for the first time in ages... Hence knocking it off into said flushing bog. Seems to be too heavy to flush tho, but took me a while to find it.

Not sure it'll recover either, but we can but try.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Steph on 29 June, 2023, 07:24:21 pm
Waiting for the end of July for a Pride event I am speaking at, on the 28th, in Bootle,

Sitting at home at  1600 hrs on Tuesday (June 27th) and phone goes.

"You joining us tomorrow?"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 30 June, 2023, 02:42:33 am
Back when I was travelling to the US regularly I was forced to perfect the art of opening beer bottles on a table top while simultaneously not knowing what the strange thing in the bathroom was for. It was on my final trip I twigged it was a bottle opener.
Fast forward a several of years and tonight I decide to celebrate having survived 2 weeks with other people with a couple of bottles in the comfort of my hotel room.
Of course this one doesn't have a bottle opener, despite having a wee shoppe in the lobby selling bottled beer.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 June, 2023, 07:35:15 am
And of course everyone knows that bottle-openers are kept in the bathroom.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 30 June, 2023, 09:00:06 am
Back when I was travelling to the US regularly I was forced to perfect the art of opening beer bottles on a table top while simultaneously not knowing what the strange thing in the bathroom was for. It was on my final trip I twigged it was a bottle opener.
Fast forward a several of years and tonight I decide to celebrate having survived 2 weeks with other people with a couple of bottles in the comfort of my hotel room.
Of course this one doesn't have a bottle opener, despite having a wee shoppe in the lobby selling bottled beer.  :facepalm:

Ah bid do the bottles have twist off crown caps?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 June, 2023, 09:24:28 am
Too active, the beer in twist-offs: uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 30 June, 2023, 09:53:45 am
Back when I was travelling to the US regularly I was forced to perfect the art of opening beer bottles on a table top while simultaneously not knowing what the strange thing in the bathroom was for. It was on my final trip I twigged it was a bottle opener.
Fast forward a several of years and tonight I decide to celebrate having survived 2 weeks with other people with a couple of bottles in the comfort of my hotel room.
Of course this one doesn't have a bottle opener, despite having a wee shoppe in the lobby selling bottled beer.  :facepalm:

Ah bid do the bottles have twist off crown caps?

Which reminds me of when I used to live in the US and got accustomed to twist off crown caps. All was going well until the day I bought a pack of non-twist beers and tried to twist the cap off.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 June, 2023, 11:37:50 am
There was one o' these

(https://live.staticflickr.com/5560/14946621060_cfe25dae91_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/oLMkH7)

in my room in Lone Pine CA back in 2014.  Prior to that I hadn’t seen one since the pre-ringpull era, when one was included in every 24-can slab of Tiger sold by the NAAFI in Hong Kong.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 30 June, 2023, 03:47:00 pm
There was one o' these

(https://live.staticflickr.com/5560/14946621060_cfe25dae91_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/oLMkH7)

in my room in Lone Pine CA back in 2014.  Prior to that I hadn’t seen one since the pre-ringpull era, when one was included in every 24-can slab of Tiger sold by the NAAFI in Hong Kong.

I remember when people kept one of those on a bunch of keys - played havoc with the pocket linings in your trousers.    I still use an opener like that for the odd thing, mainly industrial - it's branded from "the beer that made Milwaukee famous"
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 June, 2023, 08:16:27 pm
I used to have one of the tin openers from military rat-packs as a key-ring, again, played havoc with trousers
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 30 June, 2023, 08:18:41 pm
I do have a Brewdog bottle opener in one of my bags, just not the one I am travelling with now. Pingu also has a belt with a bottle opener in the buckle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 June, 2023, 08:20:51 pm
Don't forget certain train roofs as well
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 30 June, 2023, 08:22:47 pm
?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 30 June, 2023, 08:24:26 pm
I has a several of pairs of Reef slides, the sole of the rh of which features a bottle opener.
I think it is a surfer ting.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 June, 2023, 08:26:25 pm
I used to have one of the tin openers from military rat-packs as a key-ring, again, played havoc with trousers

I've got one in the kitchen drawer, or did have the last time I looked.  It's probably responsible for eating the tongs, coz I can’t find them anywhere.

As for bottle openers, I have a shark-shaped aluminium one on my big set of keys and one that’s part of a Jethro Tule.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 June, 2023, 08:27:07 pm
?

There are species of train carriages that have an arrangement of air vents that make a very good bottle opener, almost as good as a shimano cleat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 30 June, 2023, 08:52:59 pm
At the York Rally last weekend I was using the bottle opener on my Topeak Alien multitool to open a few bottles.   It was closer to hand than the SAK.


Travelsplodges usually have a bottle opener fixed to the underside of a desk or table, but provide nothing for those of us that enjoy the grape...  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 June, 2023, 09:03:42 pm
My boy scout belt was a good bottle opener.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 30 June, 2023, 09:49:42 pm
My man always has a selection of devices to open any bottle I might desire. One never knows if the grape or the grain will tickle one’s fancy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 30 June, 2023, 10:53:34 pm
I used to have one of the tin openers from military rat-packs as a key-ring, again, played havoc with trousers

Just a shame they were less effective on the tins that accompanied them in the rat-racks
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 30 June, 2023, 11:05:47 pm
At the previous igloo I had a suitably arranged SPD pedal in the shid.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 June, 2023, 11:23:54 pm
As a Penniless Student Oafette, Professor Larrington's party piece was opening BEER bottles with her teeth.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 01 July, 2023, 01:08:05 am

On holiday in Germany this week I bought a couple of bottles of localish beer to enjoy back at my cabin.

Hmm, how to open? Fortunately I remembered that the tailfin cargo cages have a bottle opener built into the bottom. Only other time I've used them was at munchen Hbf last year, some youths were failing to open bottles by banging them in a bench, and just damaging the bench. So I opened them for them. Much to their amazement.

Not really a tail of divery. More an addition to the bottle opener discussion.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 01 July, 2023, 10:36:04 am
Enough of this bottle opening - I am trying to remain / get sober for this evening's ride.  ;D

My tale of divery today concerns the discovery that ordinary disinfectant (that cheap thin brown stuff, just a capfull of which is great for stopping the smell that occasionally wafts up from the overflow in our bathroom's hand basin) - just a splash of it - does a great job of drying out the skin on your foot, to the point that 12 hours later it starts to sting like a bast...., and it might even wake you up thinking that you have just been stung by an 'orrible insect.

It took me another 12 hours to realise/remember the most probable cause of the dried skin and the stinging sensation, which was not improving with the age of the unwashed drip of disinfectant. It felt like the sting of an insect was still in the skin, but 'er indoors couldn't see anything amiss other than unusually dry scaly skin (even with a magnifying glass and reading glasses), where the splash had landed on the socked foot 24hrs earlier.

Now sitting with both feet in a bowl of warm salty water, hoping that the sting will stop, and sooner rather than later, if you don't mind.

What a div!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 01 July, 2023, 11:53:22 am
It's had the battery removed, poo washed off, been given a thorough squirting of IPA[1] and is now getting the warm dry air treatment in the back of the server rack.  I'm not hopeful.

Predictably, it boots up and sounds terrible.  I'm guessing the IPA has saved the electronics, and de-lubricated the transducer (which is the usual weak point of these things).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 July, 2023, 07:29:18 pm
Thought I'd save time and electron consumption for the Monthly Great Big Backup of All Things by copying those files from this disk to that ^^^^ one manually.  Instead copied folder containing said files to the same disk.  About 15 GB of video.

<== Div
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 July, 2023, 02:19:39 pm
Me

Event at work office next week

MrsC agrees I should go, and take opportunity to visit children on the way.

I make the complicated bookings (2 plane, 4 train, one Abnb)

MrsC looks at my travel dates "You will be missing the music festival"

Effing blocoks

Try to undo bookings. AbnB refund a bit of money. loganair let me rebook, no charge.
Bloody LNER require me to book a new ticket, then pay an 'admin fee', for something I'm doing on their website.

FFS, if only I'd looked at the calendar.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 July, 2023, 03:54:31 pm
And of course everyone knows that bottle-openers are kept in the bathroom.
Perhaps there is or was a species of USanian cosmetics that needed to be opened with a bottle opener? Or could it be that, in a hangover from prohibition, American hotels assume their guests will be ashamed of drinking beer and therefore want to hide in the bathroom to do so?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 July, 2023, 04:24:01 pm
The bathroom seems like a sensible place to have it to avoid issues with frisky beer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 July, 2023, 05:22:25 pm
And of course everyone knows that bottle-openers are kept in the bathroom.
Perhaps there is or was a species of USanian cosmetics that needed to be opened with a bottle opener? Or could it be that, in a hangover from prohibition, American hotels assume their guests will be ashamed of drinking beer and therefore want to hide in the bathroom to do so?

Not the pikey ones this Unit stays in ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: geraldc on 06 July, 2023, 05:35:53 pm
Americans have twist off caps, something you don't really see much of here. Once you learn as a student that a 3 pin plug or cheap lighter can be used to open bottles, you discover that people are lazy, and that "give a man a fish/teach a man to fish" is bollocks. Once you learn to open a bottle, no one else wants to learn, they just want you to open their bottle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 06 July, 2023, 06:22:23 pm
Don't any of you do the "lever off the cap with the cap of another bottle" trick? Involves holding one bottle upside down with the cap wedged under that of the bottle you wish to open plus an index finger as a fulcrum. Opening the last bottle is left as an exercise for the reader drinker.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 July, 2023, 06:50:24 pm
Don't any of you do the "lever off the cap with the cap of another bottle" trick? Involves holding one bottle upside down with the cap wedged under that of the bottle you wish to open plus an index finger as a fulcrum. Opening the last bottle is left as an exercise for the reader drinker.

I was Seriously Impressed the first time I saw someone do this, and if I were a drinker of BEER would make an effort to learn it, off-by-one errors be damned.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 08 July, 2023, 09:09:37 am
This headline appears on my phone, Robert Jenrick has cartoon murals painted over at children’s asylum centre (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/jul/07/robert-jenrick-has-cartoon-murals-painted-over-at-childrens-asylum-centre) and I read it as "Robert Jenrick has cartoon murals painted, over at children’s asylum centre" and I thought, that's nice but why is it a headline?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 July, 2023, 07:22:12 pm
And she's already got an appointment in a couple of weeks time to be upgraded to the New! Shiny! thinks-it's-even-more-cleverer-than-you latest model, which she will inevitably hate because of some combination of: AGC, inability to give her a sharp response peak at 1kHz, stateful beep-based UI, over-reliance on The Devil's Other Radio, general fiddliness and a lack of physical buttons.  (Seriously, the only thing worse than barakta swearing at Microsoft/Adobe products, is barakta with a new hearing aid.  She's also not wrong.)

The deed is done.  Barakta has been upgraded to a New! Shiny! thinks-it's-even-more-cleverer-than-you not-quite-latest model (because the latest one is a work of Stan for people more interested in pretending they're not a hearing aid user than hearing properly).  So far she's struggled to attach them to her head; found the undocumented mute feature that means it's not unfit-for-purpose; arsed about with The Devil's Other Radio, and had it spontaneously start playing Queen.  I expect there will be further updates in the rant thread, unless she manages to bogwash it first.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 12 July, 2023, 08:49:53 pm
The reason I don’t get the latest New. Shiny. from the ENT department is, I’ve always assumed, because the major manufactures won’t sell them in bulk to the NHS at a reduced rate because they want to continue to be able to gouge folk the rough the private clinics first. When they introduce the latest tech to the private clinics, they then move the current gouge worthy products onto the NHS to ask room for the new. 

I suspect that given the fewer numbers of BAHA users there’s less of an incentive to keep the old tech in production when they introduce new stuffs.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 12 July, 2023, 08:56:46 pm
We've got with the future Beardy. BAHAs are made by Cochlear (who're mainly famous for cochlea implants) and Oticon who are a credible general hearing aid manufacturer.

Both types of BAHA use the standard Gadget-Wot-Works-With-All-Aids/CIs thankfully so there's less 1 aid + a different gadget for each fuckery than they used to have.

I've jumped ship from Cochlear back to Oticon which I did always prefer but had had to ditch due to obnoxious AGC. So far newOticonBAHA seems not to be doing obnoxious AGC but we shall see. Audi(ologist) also felt the new-Cochlear one was 1) not good at feedback suppression (a vital characteristic for a bone conduction aid which is physically vibrating to transmit sound) and 2) has no onboard volume control which was a dealbreaker for me.

So far, it sounds weird and I'm exhausted, but I don't hate it...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 12 July, 2023, 10:37:31 pm
Please don't call audiologists Audis.  It gives the wrong impression.  Especially on a cycling forum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 July, 2023, 07:53:10 am
Ah, that explains that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 13 July, 2023, 10:07:27 am
Please don't call audiologists Audis.  It gives the wrong impression.  Especially on a cycling forum.

Audi et odi?

I must confess to being a bit fed up with ours: there's no way to tie the back hatch down when you've got the last metre of a 2m40 length of wood sticking out the back.

As a German colleague of mine once said, that shouldst thou not to do want.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 13 July, 2023, 01:13:28 pm
Please don't call audiologists Audis.  It gives the wrong impression.  Especially on a cycling forum.

Have amended my post for clarity. Audi(ologist)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 14 July, 2023, 01:22:27 pm


I ordered €40 of gas for my blow torch.

It arrives for me to discover it has the wrong fitting on the bottle... *Facepalm*

I had also added some Boric acid to the order. Well I thought I had.

What I got was 800g of borax. Which is not the same thing...

Doing well here...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 July, 2023, 07:07:10 am
'tis the heat, m'dear, the heat.

Meanwhile, the other day my BP gadget gave me two good readings in a row then told me I had moved when I tried for n° 3, and kept on doing it. Well, thought I, it's managed since 2008 so no harm to it, and I ordered a new one.  When this arrived I transferred the batteries from the old one (Mum was Scottish) put on the cuff and hit the button.  Got a reading consistent with the old gadget but noticed at the same time that the batteries were a bit, er, low...

So this morning I put fresh batteries in the old meter, put on the cuff and hit the button. Lo and be holed below the waterline, it puffed the cuff up merrily then started counting down and... stop moving, it said.

No a fecking div then?  Yes too a fecking div: I should have tried that to make sure the old one was kaput before ordering a new one.

Both units are from a bunch called Hartmann, BTW.  Can't guarantee you'll get 16 years of life out of one but 15's a pretty good bet.

Hell, I'm not sure I want another 16 years of life.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 July, 2023, 08:04:17 am
In 2021 a friend was organising a boat trip to a remote island, North Rona.

It sounded exciting, so MrsC and I signed up. Weather and other things put the trip off, until yesterday.

60-odd miles at sea in a small boat, at speed. Sizeable atlantic swell.

I'm prone to sea sickness. Guess what happened?

I lost 2kg in weight in one day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 July, 2023, 04:56:28 pm
After spending all that money getting a secure garage door, I didn't lock it properly when we went out this morning. I know this because there was a parcel in there when we got home. Fortunately everything appears to be present, including the several grand of bathroom suite.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 July, 2023, 01:05:59 am
int64_t != unsigned long.  Wasted bloody hours chasing all sorts of gremlins before I spotted that.  FFS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 July, 2023, 07:23:41 am
int64_t != unsigned long.  Wasted bloody hours chasing all sorts of gremlins before I spotted that.  FFS.

It's a bit poor that nowadays when memory is measured by the gigabyte we still have to bother about the length of a variable. Unless you're bit-masking, of course.

Huh. I say "we" but the last time I programmed anything was over a year ago.  Don't even know if my development machine will still start.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 23 July, 2023, 07:48:49 am
Well worth a discussion on variable lengths. I work in HPC where the Top500 performance in measured only in double precision floats.
However as you know the AI community make great proegress using less precision variables.

This means  (a) packing more compute cycles into these GPUs
And  importantly (b) saving energy per compute operation.

I am a Julia fanboy, and the type system in very rich in Julia.
Lets look t Posits then - in Julia you cn easily swap to different types for running computational models.
OK, no hardware implements Posits yet but have a look at

https://twitter.com/milankloewer/status/1068475294368100352



Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 23 July, 2023, 08:54:48 am
We had a bug in our  code where it was crashing with one particular data set.

It was a divide by zero error calculating a Free Fluid / Bound Fluid ratio.
There is protecctive code to check the BF is non zero before doing this.

But... this code has been built over many years, and is a mixture of modules written in different langages and variable lengths.
The calling code was working with 64 bit floats.
This passed the non zero check, just. The BF was ver ver small.
Upon calling the calculation module, this was cast to 32 bit, where it became zero and crashed!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 July, 2023, 11:46:51 am
int64_t != unsigned long.  Wasted bloody hours chasing all sorts of gremlins before I spotted that.  FFS.

It's a bit poor that nowadays when memory is measured by the gigabyte we still have to bother about the length of a variable. Unless you're bit-masking, of course.

Embedded systems are still pleasingly old-school in that respect.  I think the ESP32 has something like 512kB of RAM, which still feels like loads.

Anyway, it's basically a lesson in why you shouldn't copy & paste things that some other idiot[1] wrote, simply on the basis that they work.


[1] In this case me, about 2 years ago.  Twas ever thus.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 July, 2023, 03:57:03 pm
No, poking that bit of the screen will not open the link no matter how hard or how often you do it, nor how prodigiously you swear at your fondleslab.

Because that’s a screenshot, not the actual page :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 23 July, 2023, 04:04:52 pm
No, poking that bit of the screen will not open the link no matter how hard or how often you do it, nor how prodigiously you swear at your fondleslab.

Because that’s a screenshot, not the actual page :facepalm:
Ah!
I have, on occasion, touched the screen of my MacBook Air.
It doesn't feature a touch screen  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 23 July, 2023, 05:47:05 pm
No, poking that bit of the screen will not open the link no matter how hard or how often you do it, nor how prodigiously you swear at your fondleslab.

Because that’s a screenshot, not the actual page :facepalm:
Ah!
I have, on occasion, touched the screen of my MacBook Air.
It doesn't feature a touch screen  :facepalm:
You know you’ve been assimilated when you do a pinch zoom on a printed magazine  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 23 July, 2023, 10:03:26 pm
In the course of a few days I managed to blow two of the 440 mA fuses in my Fluke multimeter. £6.20 each from CPC is the cheapest that I've found.

The first time I was confirming that the smoke alarm battery was dead, even though it was over 9 V. I didn't think that a PP3, especially one that the smoke alarm thought was dead, would have a short-circuit current over half an amp, and I was wrong.

The second time I had set my power supply to limit the current to less than 200 mA, but I was working at 48 V and it turns out that the output capacitor of the power supply stores enough energy at 48 V to kill the fuse.

Down to no spares again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 25 July, 2023, 04:25:44 pm
Cappuccino prep this morning: pulled the espresso then fitted the panarello, put a bit of kitchen roll underneath and blasted steam through to get rid of any residue from washing it; only I had neglected to hit the STEAM button first so immediately a jet of hot water soaked the kitchen roll and splashed about the worktop. <language>  Turned off water & hit the steam button, fetched another bit of kitchen roll and wiped up then turned on the steam tap to clear the panarello; only the machine had got fed up waiting and cancelled the STEAM order so immediately a jet of hot water dot dot dot. < more language>

Third time worked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 July, 2023, 09:59:00 pm
If you are creating the “keep for all time” backup of American Truck Simulator v1.47 it’s best to let it finish before you run the procedure that wipes all the old files (~34 GB) and replaces them with those from v1.48.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 July, 2023, 02:12:30 pm
Just now heard a delivery van outside, was having a gander out window when bell went. Turned swiftly, hooked banjo with toe and knocked it over on top of Fender, twang bang crash. No harm done - both instruments are sturdy beasts you could happily use for want of a bludgeon - but it scared the whatsit out of MrsT, who was still gasping when I came back upstairs with the loot.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 July, 2023, 02:17:27 pm
Measure twice, drill once.  Still, they’re only small holes…
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: sam on 28 July, 2023, 02:35:06 pm
I once put the cranks back on at 6 & 6 (or noon & noon, if you prefer). At least it didn't make it off the workstand.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 28 July, 2023, 04:32:19 pm
I once put the cranks back on at 6 & 6 (or noon & noon, if you prefer). At least it didn't make it off the workstand.
Garage 54 did that deliberately on a car:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTWUcpHQfGo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTWUcpHQfGo)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 28 July, 2023, 04:45:05 pm
Measure twice, drill once.

Hammer/shim to fit as required.  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 July, 2023, 06:10:55 pm
Fortunately it’s wood.  A lot easier to fill.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 July, 2023, 08:58:32 am
Damn. Just gave my waxed chain a wipe after coming home wet yesterday. A few rust flecks this morning.  Should've doused it in boiling water and stuck it in the wax pot. I'll maybe do that anyway - the rust is on the rollers and should grind off PDQ.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 29 July, 2023, 01:49:32 pm
Nomination for the good lady wife

Our kids are off to summer camps, she noticed the summer camp had paid us a chunk of money, firstly worried that one of our kids haven't got in as over subscribed and then wondered if paid too much
She emailed them and they said they hadn't

I finally got a chance to look at myself, noticed the reference for transaction was name of camp. Asked the wife if she had transferred money from another account. The penny dropped. She had been putting some money aside for the camp and had the  transferred it into our account to pay from
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 29 July, 2023, 11:55:17 pm
...Turned swiftly, hooked banjo with toe and knocked it over on top of Fender, twang bang crash...

And so another music genre was born.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 July, 2023, 12:57:26 am
...Turned swiftly, hooked banjo with toe and knocked it over on top of Fender, twang bang crash...

And so another music genre was born.

Post-folk?

(Googles)

Bah!  It already exists.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 July, 2023, 07:57:49 am
...Turned swiftly, hooked banjo with toe and knocked it over on top of Fender, twang bang crash...

And so another music genre was born.

Post-folk?

(Googles)

Bah!  It already exists.

Nah, just a Stockhausen cover.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 05 August, 2023, 04:18:10 pm
When charging my iPad, the watching of motorsport during my lunch break for (my employer frowns on us streaming content so I tether to my ‘phone), using the folding plug, it’s helpful if I make sure I’ve properly unfolded all the pins, otherwise it may look like it’s doing it’s job, but only have the earth pin inserted in the socket  ::-).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 05 August, 2023, 05:21:47 pm
When making bread, it is advisable to add yeast at the start of the process.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 August, 2023, 06:44:58 pm
Do not move that Heavy Thing into a position such that it blocks access to the back door until after you have got all the Stuffs required to do things to said Heavy Thing out of the Sheds.  Ooohmeback.

Bonus points if you only then discover the Heavy Thing is thicker than the jigsaw blades are long.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 05 August, 2023, 07:44:21 pm
During Brexit I had a stock of tinned food. I also bought a six pack of UHT milk from Sainsburys. Sell by date in 2021
It has been taking up space on my kitchen floor since then. Decided to sample some last week - after all UHT. Right?
Wrong - standard semi-skimmed, now somewhat resembling cheese. Duuuh...   should have actually read the labels.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 August, 2023, 06:50:10 pm
I just bought some suede protector and renovator and used it on my brown suede shoes.

It was black suede protector.  Since when has dyed protector been a thing?  They are now ex-shoes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 August, 2023, 06:53:55 pm
Brown shoes don’t make it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 August, 2023, 12:58:33 pm
“Hmmm!” thought Mr Larrington.  “I reckon I might need to unclip before negotiating that gate.”

Mr Larrington then utterly fails to disconnect himself from the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle, collides with the kerb and executes a perfect three-point landing on his knee, hip, and elbow.  If only I'd been wearing a h*lm*t; I could have thrown it at the sillybollocks who put the gate there in the first place >:(

Edit: this one https://maps.app.goo.gl/RPQgDVt8uiMiwDTQ9
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 10 August, 2023, 10:18:55 pm
As you were clipped in to the perfectly good gentleman’s mountain bicycle would not bunny hopping over the kerb to the left have been de rigueur?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 10 August, 2023, 10:28:08 pm
“Hmmm!” thought Mr Larrington.  “I reckon I might need to unclip before negotiating that gate.”

Mr Larrington then utterly fails to disconnect himself from the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle, collides with the kerb and executes a perfect three-point landing on his knee, hip, and elbow.  If only I'd been wearing a h*lm*t; I could have thrown it at the sillybollocks who put the gate there in the first place >:(

Edit: this one https://maps.app.goo.gl/RPQgDVt8uiMiwDTQ9

Looks like somebody managed to negotiate it  :P
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 10 August, 2023, 10:40:44 pm
“Hmmm!” thought Mr Larrington.  “I reckon I might need to unclip before negotiating that gate.”

Mr Larrington then utterly fails to disconnect himself from the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle, collides with the kerb and executes a perfect three-point landing on his knee, hip, and elbow.  If only I'd been wearing a h*lm*t; I could have thrown it at the sillybollocks who put the gate there in the first place >:(

Edit: this one https://maps.app.goo.gl/RPQgDVt8uiMiwDTQ9

Ha, that looks like luxury compared to this bastarding pedal and ankle breaker
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Barrier_on_Formartine_and_Buchan_cycle_route_at_Auchnagatt.jpg
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 August, 2023, 10:49:41 pm
“Hmmm!” thought Mr Larrington.  “I reckon I might need to unclip before negotiating that gate.”

Mr Larrington then utterly fails to disconnect himself from the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle, collides with the kerb and executes a perfect three-point landing on his knee, hip, and elbow.  If only I'd been wearing a h*lm*t; I could have thrown it at the sillybollocks who put the gate there in the first place >:(

Edit: this one https://maps.app.goo.gl/RPQgDVt8uiMiwDTQ9

Looks like somebody managed to negotiate it  :P

I managed it OK going in that direction; it was coming back up the hill which did for me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 10 August, 2023, 11:14:16 pm
But is the perfectly good gentleman's mountain bicycle OK? ;).
(Hoping that your OK too.) :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 August, 2023, 11:28:59 pm
“Hmmm!” thought Mr Larrington.  “I reckon I might need to unclip before negotiating that gate.”

Mr Larrington then utterly fails to disconnect himself from the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle, collides with the kerb and executes a perfect three-point landing on his knee, hip, and elbow.  If only I'd been wearing a h*lm*t; I could have thrown it at the sillybollocks who put the gate there in the first place >:(

Edit: this one https://maps.app.goo.gl/RPQgDVt8uiMiwDTQ9
That's in need of improvement via angle grinder.

Ha, that looks like luxury compared to this bastarding pedal and ankle breaker
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Barrier_on_Formartine_and_Buchan_cycle_route_at_Auchnagatt.jpg
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 August, 2023, 11:54:33 pm
But is the perfectly good gentleman's mountain bicycle OK? ;).
(Hoping that your OK too.) :)

Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle appears none the worse for the experience; damage to Mr Larrington is a grazed knee and elbow which are a bit sore and would respond well to whisky were such a thing still permitted chiz.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 11 August, 2023, 12:09:16 am
But is the perfectly good gentleman's mountain bicycle OK? ;).
(Hoping that your OK too.) :)

Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle appears none the worse for the experience; damage to Mr Larrington is a grazed knee and elbow which are a bit sore and would respond well to whisky were such a thing still permitted chiz.
I am prepared to drink a small whisky on your behalf if you think that may help.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 12 August, 2023, 11:42:39 pm
But is the perfectly good gentleman's mountain bicycle OK? ;).
(Hoping that your OK too.) :)
in

Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle appears none the worse for the experience; damage to Mr Larrington is a grazed knee and elbow which are a bit sore and would respond well to whisky were such a thing still permitted chiz.
I am prepared to drink a small whisky on your behalf if you think that may help.
Would it work faster if more people did it? Cos I am too  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 August, 2023, 09:44:36 pm
Ordered something from the internet website thing, all good, then I remembered I'm not at home. We're not at home. Ha, I remember the Yodel site has options to delay etc. Except, of course, they're all greyed out as unavailable for this delivery. Now, if the courier could read and obey the sign on the door that clearly says PLEASE LEAVE ANY DELIVERIES IN THE BOX BEHIND THE PORCH, this wouldn't be an issue, but they read the sign, ponder for a moment, and then leave it on the step always (the wonders of the porch cam). Do I want a parcel sitting on the doorstep till Saturday evening when we get back, announcing the house is empty and soaking up the rain, probably not. Probably shouldn't have ordered it till you got back then, div.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 August, 2023, 12:42:16 am
Edit: this one https://maps.app.goo.gl/RPQgDVt8uiMiwDTQ9

*knocks the scrollwheel*

*notes google maps going into SimCity2000 mode*

That's new...

*plays with that for a minute*

*attempts to date streetviews of Silly Oak by the fridges*

*remembers the capture date is up there in the corner*

*forgets why we were here*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 15 August, 2023, 11:43:55 am
“Hmmm!” thought Mr Larrington.  “I reckon I might need to unclip before negotiating that gate.”

Mr Larrington then utterly fails to disconnect himself from the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle, collides with the kerb and executes a perfect three-point landing on his knee, hip, and elbow.  If only I'd been wearing a h*lm*t; I could have thrown it at the sillybollocks who put the gate there in the first place >:(

Edit: this one https://maps.app.goo.gl/RPQgDVt8uiMiwDTQ9

That is the design of gate I rode FULL TILT into a few years ago. It was painted green. In the countryside. Only the black eye and broken fingers for that one.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 15 August, 2023, 01:55:18 pm
This morning I rummaged in the box of assorted cable in the forlorn hope of finding an HDMI to dvi cable, much to my surprise I found one. So I placed it on the spare chair in my office and began a serious clear up required to make space in order be able to get stuffs in the right place to utilise said cable. Tools long finished with returned to garage, papers sorted & filed or shredded, huge volume of usb cables put into same box, books returned to the library etc etc.
Then, with the clear up nearly done I notice the cable is no longer on the spare chair. I have searched the house end to end, revisited everywhere I went during the clear up and in desperation everywhere else I don't recall going too. I've been through the box of cables twice in case I unthinkingly cleared it away. Can I find it? Can I arse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 August, 2023, 04:35:14 pm
In similar vein, there was a hammer out there ==> in the porch.  And now there isn’t.  And it'd be quite a useful thing to have to hand, because the inner flap thingy of the letterbox needs a spot of panel beating.

Edit: Found it, hiding amid the neatly coiled power lead of the chainsaw :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 16 August, 2023, 04:09:07 pm
Cut a very heavy pallet into three portions to take to the tip Recycling Centre.
Dropped one of em onto my car's rear bumper.
Now have chipped bumper.
Bugger!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 August, 2023, 11:02:42 pm
Decided to wash the covers of the kitchen chairs.  Whipped 'em off, read the instructions.  60 degrees.  Bung 'em in the machine, push dials, twiddle buttons, do other Stuffs for an hour or three.

Open machine, extract covers.  Plus a T-shaped shirt.  It'd better not have shrunk or there'll be trouble.  And Bad Swears.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 August, 2023, 09:31:00 am
Went for a bike ride last night (I scarcely manage 1 ride a week, so not fit).

Lovely weather, no wind, sun shining across the purple heather. I was really enjoying pushing myself.

Got to last little slope before home, stood out of the saddle and CRAMP, in both legs just above the knee.

Dropped to small ring and just managed to ride the last 50m to home. Got off bike and stood leant on it like I was dying for about 5min. Cramp would not stop.
Managed to walk sideways, very very slowly.

Legs are a bit sore this morn.

According to Wahoo, I rode 61% of the the time in 'hard' (139-155) and 24% in peak (over 156).

Maybe I was pushing it a bit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Steph on 18 August, 2023, 12:50:06 pm
At the weekend, I decided to do some cooking, and stopped in the slightly posh oriental grocery to pick up a stir-fry sauce.

So I whizzed through my preparations, and had a nice mix of chicken breast, cashews, red pepper, mushrooms, onion, with beansprouts blanched and ready to add, so I turned the heat down, uncapped the szechuan sauce and turned it upside down over the wok. About half immediately fell into the pan...

It wasn't stir-fry sauce but concentrated paste. There is now a bowl of inedible but well-prepared food ready to tip into the composting bin.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 18 August, 2023, 12:55:22 pm
Could you wash off the paste with wine vinegar or the like and then refry to heat it up for consumption? Perhaps add some coconut milk to tame any excessive residual chilli
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: davelodwig on 18 August, 2023, 12:59:46 pm
Forgot to pack my lunch into the pannier this morning.

Oh says I, I'll pop to the shop / canteen and buy something.

Forgot to pack my wallet into said same pannier.

Bugger.

Managed to find a quid in loose change in the bottom of my bag and bought a pot noodle thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 18 August, 2023, 01:57:17 pm
Could you wash off the paste with wine vinegar or the like and then refry to heat it up for consumption? Perhaps add some coconut milk to tame any excessive residual chilli

Or just rinse with cold water and add some cream.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Steph on 18 August, 2023, 05:44:53 pm
Could you wash off the paste with wine vinegar or the like and then refry to heat it up for consumption? Perhaps add some coconut milk to tame any excessive residual chilli

Or just rinse with cold water and add some cream.

I am going to tip it into a colander and rinse for a while, but so much of the veg base is likely to turn to slush... and I made it on Monday

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 18 August, 2023, 06:16:10 pm
Bought a spiffing new Wifi router cabinet from a major river related vendor.
Bought a nice shelf for it to sit upon. Drilled hole to affix shelf to wall.
Spitz und Sparken. Circuit breaker pops open.
Do I have a stud/cable finder gadget? Yes.    Did I use it? No....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 August, 2023, 06:19:21 pm
I was drinking coffee when I read this Fesshole tweet.  Now I have to clean half the lounge.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Steph on 19 August, 2023, 08:20:27 pm
Years ago,  while at uni, several of us pooled our money to put a song on the jukebox  a large number of times. This was in the Students' Union, which we then left for a place where we could get a decent pint.

The song, which IIRC was set to play 23 times in a row, was Dean Friedman's 'Lucky Stars'. Years later, at the Wickham festival, I saw another singer of the time, backed by an Irish folk band: Hazel O'Connor. She was just as great as I remembered. Friedman was on the bill as well, and he sounded just as shite as he always did.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 August, 2023, 09:40:35 pm
Though he did once join Half Man Half Biscuit on stage for a rendition of “The Bastard Son Od Dean Friedman” :D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 19 August, 2023, 09:44:16 pm
I used to work with Dean Friedman when I was at the Science Museum. He'd knocked Lucky Stars on the head and turned his hand to programming.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 August, 2023, 09:46:41 pm
I have previous for putting tracks that incorporate a SEEKRIT hidden track via the devious method of umpty minutes of silence at the end of the album on repeat on pub jukeboxen.  Being able to hear your converstion, for the purposes of.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 August, 2023, 12:42:49 am
Whereas I have previous for using Audacity to remove the extended periods of silence from tracks in ye Musick Library :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 August, 2023, 01:23:44 pm
Whereas I have previous for using Audacity to remove the extended periods of silence from tracks in ye Musick Library :demon:

Oh, that too.

It's like beer batter:  Much like how if I wanted BEER with my fish&chips, I'd have ordered a pint, if I want to listen to loud music in my drinking establishment, I'd have gone to a gig.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 23 August, 2023, 07:36:04 am
Run out of bread for lunch so last night boiled some eggs, grilled some romaine lettuces and chopped some cucumber. All from the garden or the chickens

Made an absolutely lovely salad with a few extra bits from the cupboard

Laying in bed last night remembered I'm on a half day so no need to bring lunch to work
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 25 August, 2023, 09:15:01 am
I just pressed "Buy It Now" on an item in my Ebay watch list.   Then I noticed the seller had offered me a 10% discount  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JefO on 27 August, 2023, 08:44:31 pm
Left my lovely Elite Cycling Project gloves on my mate's drive somehow.  (Disadvantage of car assist to start of ride.) They were new enough to be good and just old enough to be comfortable. Father's Day present  ::-)

One of these has been found. The other - missing, presumed a fox's plaything.

Bought two new pairs on a large river site.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 August, 2023, 12:34:08 pm
When it was Stupid Hot at the tail end of last week I applied sun-schlog to my pale and lifeless arms.  Yesterday it was just nicely warm, so I didn’t.  And now they’re all red.  Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 August, 2023, 01:23:19 pm
A hat trick of divvery from me last night. Firstly I forgot that I was meant to be locking a friend's property while they're away in Croatia for a week. Secondly, my key ring exploded at the front door, scattering keys to the floor and losing the crucial spring that holds it all together (it's a sort of sliding carabiner type device, wot I got with a locker key when doing a seasonal job in Saino's many decades ago) in the door mat. Thirdly, I'd forgotten that it was a bank holiday weekend. This made Sunday an extra Saturday, ie the Gloucester Road, up which I had to ride to get to said property, was full of people drinking etc. Though TBF it is most nights, skoolnites too. Anyway, this meant broken glass, some of which I evidently failed to see. Rear wheel. Bah! Spotted it when coming out of the now-locked building, really couldn't be arsed to fix it then and there, so pushed home – it's about 20-30 mins walk.

On the plus side, the building got locked, the key-biner got reassembled, and I've mended the puncture, using the new! shiny! not-a-garden-anymore decking wot the landlord installed (reasons unknown) as a workspace.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 28 August, 2023, 02:35:35 pm
You'll probably get a note telling you not to get oil on the timber.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 August, 2023, 09:59:23 pm
No, I left the bike in the house and just took the wheel out.  Brake lever scratches on the walls but they'll paint out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 August, 2023, 11:00:02 pm
When it was Stupid Hot at the tail end of last week I applied sun-schlog to my pale and lifeless arms.  Yesterday it was just nicely warm, so I didn’t.  And now they’re all red.  Bah!

On a related note, barakta seems to have acquired a Darley Moor sunburn.  I'm not entirely sure how, as there was little sun in evidence.  Something to do with being part morlock, or at least Scottish.

I have something ostensibly similar, but which subsequent sleuthing has determined to be irritation due to runkled foam in my h*lm*t (the major clue being that it's limited to a patch on my forehead).  Ob-divvery for not sorting this out in a timely manner before the rushing-about.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 August, 2023, 03:03:24 am
Applied two coats during the course of today, which achieved this: 0.  Backs of my hands are now actually glowing in the dark.  Need to find a bike shop and buy some track mitts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 August, 2023, 08:47:21 am
Applied two coats during the course of today, which achieved this: 0.  Backs of my hands are now actually glowing in the dark.  Need to find a bike shop and buy some track mitts.

Biafine was originally developed to treat superficial burns.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 August, 2023, 11:33:43 am
That'd be my esteemed colleague.  He went on holiday to Spain for 2 weeks with his family, taking his new company car to the airport.  On arrival at the destination airport, his suitcase was missing. Complaints made to the Jet2 desk, but a transfer bus had to be boarded. As they were on the bus, his wife enquired if he'd taken his case out of the front boot.....   He has a Tesla company car. And yes, his case was indeed still in the front luggage area of that car, parked in the Luton airport long term car park.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 September, 2023, 01:43:29 am
Put way too much water in the coffee machine.  Taste barely registers.  Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 September, 2023, 03:47:12 am
“Shitty bollocks!” exclaimed Mr Larrington after knocking his nearly full mug of tea off the bedside table and onto the floor. “Now I have to wait another age for the kettle to boil with these feeble USAnian voles!”
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 September, 2023, 10:28:11 am
Double divvery

Trying to repair SiL's shoes, I cut out repair patch, smear it with glue and shove it in the shoe. Because I'm rushing, I don't bother to go get a glove. Hand is now covered in glue.

I set pan of split fava beans to cook on stove and sit down to read a book. Think "must stir beans". Too late, they are burnt black onto pan. Didn't even smell it.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 04 September, 2023, 12:24:06 pm
Yesterday.
In Sainos.
Having had to summon the Till Wizard for the third time and pointed out to her that 'These scales are defective'.

TW - You're older than you look, aren't you?
Me - What?
TW - Are you retired?
Me - WTF???
TW - What you should do is put your basket on this side, scan your shopping, and then put the shopping onto this side.
Not the other way around.
Me -  :facepalm: :facepalm:  :facepalm:  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 04 September, 2023, 08:53:46 pm
The cooker had a three faults and I could no longer ignore it, so today I took on the task of removing the back panel, the side Panama, the instrument facia and the top. Having taken all these parts off it I realised that I might have managed without taking the side panels,off, but they weren’t really that much extra work. I fiddled and produled about with a multimeter disconnected a few wires and even dismantled one of the rotary switches. I couldn’t find anything definitively wrong, but there was a HR through some switch contacts who I seemed to clear when I rebuilt the rotary switch. I put all the wires back in place and gingerly plugged it back in. No bangs or pops. The grill now partially worked, as it has done for a long time until recently, and the ignition works again. I _think there might be another HR in the second element circuit of the grill, but without a circuit diagram, I can’t be sure and I am NOT going to start taking the wiring loom apart.

So why an entry here, I here you ask.

It still had to be put back together. I put the side panels back on, and put the top on., I hooked the facia panel on and looked for the pot of screws to fasten on the bits now in place. I looked on the kitchen work tops where all the tools,I was using were. I looked over by the sink. I even went out and looked  it the shed.

I took the facia off and removed the top, and there nestled in amongst the insulation was my little pot of screws  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 04 September, 2023, 11:36:21 pm
Yesterday.
In Sainos.
Having had to summon the Till Wizard for the third time and pointed out to her that 'These scales are defective'.

TW - You're older than you look, aren't you?
Me - What?
TW - Are you retired?
Me - WTF???
TW - What you should do is put your basket on this side, scan your shopping, and then put the shopping onto this side.
Not the other way around.
Me -  :facepalm: :facepalm:  :facepalm:  :-[

To be fair, a lot of those tills are NOT clear which side is which. They could make it a LOT clearer, with pic of basket where that goes and a pile of shopping for the shopping rather than 2 identikit silver surfaces and the unintuitive one being for the basket.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 September, 2023, 11:46:24 pm
No doubt the person who designed the thing knew which one had the scales in it, so never considered that to be a point of confusion.  To be fair, it's usually fairly obvious.  That is, until there aren't any scales, at which point the user might stand there like an idiot crippled by indecision... (DAHIKT).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cygnet on 05 September, 2023, 12:09:26 am
Intuitively I place the shopping "shop-side" and scan/pack toward the exit. Who does it backwards?
When they don't set the tills up this way I've been caught out a several of times.
Sainos and tescos are the worst for this ime.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 05 September, 2023, 11:19:59 am
Every damn shop uses a different design. They are never ergonomically designed for ease of use, but to suit the positioning of the internal components. And as for the continual nagging......
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 05 September, 2023, 11:46:42 am
Ah, the "which side does what" question.

I was at a large construction site in London's Famous London last week. I've done the  induction course, been fingerprinted*, shown my passport, so got issued with a magnetic card to work the turn stile.

Go in fine. Meet sub contractor, do things, time to go. Get to row of turnstiles, get card out, slap it on the reader, push turnstile. Beep. No movement.  Try again. Same result. Arse.  Finally realise that the layout is for right handed people, while I'm left handed, so I'd been tapping my card on the reader for the adjacent turnstile.

*more accurately had my index finger read by their biometric wotsit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 September, 2023, 11:57:31 am
Every damn shop uses a different design. They are never ergonomically designed for ease of use, but to suit the positioning of the internal components. And as for the continual nagging......

Sainsbury's seem to have removed the volume control, so you can't turn off the nagging.  Bastards.

To be fair, I'd forgive nearly all their flaws if they'd only set the timeout on the barcode scanner to something half-reasonable.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 September, 2023, 02:48:42 pm
Used on in Safeway yesterday evening.  It even shouted out the price of each item when it had successfully read the barcode  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 September, 2023, 03:50:07 pm
I've always wanted, but never dared, to put a sign on a cash dispenser reading "This device now uses voice recognition. Please state your PIN loudly and clearly".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 05 September, 2023, 03:56:06 pm
Wheelchair using friends have unfun with self humilation checkouts, especially where there's no staff to go to instead. One friend has an ongoing row with M&S about the lack of space and changing of perfectly good machines with new ones which are much less accessible. The local staff agree with her, but head office just spouts bullshit, so we may end up getting legally nasty at them, cos they had a working system and crammed in more machines and broke it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 September, 2023, 06:50:06 pm
Using a soldering iron to prise the component legs through the hole in the PCB was never going to end well as the rather fetching linear blister across the pad of my index finger will attest. Extra divary gained becasue i had a roll of desoldring braid in the box of electronic bits in the garage.

Mind ewe, removal of the capacitors would have been simpler had they not also been glued to the PCB  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 05 September, 2023, 06:57:14 pm
Using a soldering iron to prise the component legs through the hole in the PCB was never going to end well as the rather fetching linear blister across the pad of my index finger will attest. Extra divary gained becasue i had a roll of desoldring braid in the box of electronic bits in the garage.

Mind ewe, removal of the capacitors would have been simpler had they not also been glued to the PCB  >:(

Yep. That's all normal.

Initially, add a little bit of fresh solder to the joint to help transfer the heat to it.
Once it's flowing, use a sooker or braid to remove as much as possible.
Then with heat applied, wiggle the legs to break them free, often the soldering iron is enough for this. Otherwise, some needle-nose pliers.
Then rock the component firmly, applying further heat as required to break any remaining residual bits of solder.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 September, 2023, 07:15:02 pm
I couldn’t find my solder sucker and had forgotten I’d got the braid, so proceeded without either. The solder I was using to flux the existing 40 year old, but it was Pb free and thus a bit crap. I think I’ll be investing in a new solder sucker, so,if you’ve any recommendations for New. Shiny. Devices of this functionality please shout out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 05 September, 2023, 07:40:39 pm
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Trudged down to Brizzle to pick a new laptop (don't get me started on -effing pointless- bean counter driven hardware refreshes) and am sitting there trying to get the festering coprolith that is the Wondoze 10 UI to look something like Win XP and as part of this exercise in despair failing miserably to find the "use small icons" option for the task bar, which I *know* used to be there.  Eventually give up and ask collegue, who points at the "use small buttons" option and looks at me pityingly.

<mutter>
They're not effing buttons.  Buttons have borders, bezels, drop shadows and "move" up and down when you click them. Those bloody things are icons.
</mutter>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 05 September, 2023, 08:04:20 pm
I couldn’t find my solder sucker and had forgotten I’d got the braid, so proceeded without either. The solder I was using to flux the existing 40 year old, but it was Pb free and thus a bit crap. I think I’ll be investing in a new solder sucker, so,if you’ve any recommendations for New. Shiny. Devices of this functionality please shout out.

My solder suckers are as old as the hills, so I have no current advice!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 05 September, 2023, 08:05:01 pm
I couldn’t find my solder sucker and had forgotten I’d got the braid, so proceeded without either. The solder I was using to flux the existing 40 year old, but it was Pb free and thus a bit crap. I think I’ll be investing in a new solder sucker, so,if you’ve any recommendations for New. Shiny. Devices of this functionality please shout out.

In which case adding leaded solder would also help, by bringing the melting point down to something sensible.  (You can also get special super-low-melting-point solder specifically for de-soldering complicated SMD parts, but I've not tried it.)

With solder suckers the key seems to be not persisting with one where you've melted the crap out of the tip to the detriment of suction (DAHIKT).  And they don't really work on plated through-holes, which makes them a lot less useful than they used to be.  I frequently end up resorting to hot air to de-solder multi-pin through-hole connectors, and then tidying up with braid.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 05 September, 2023, 08:53:26 pm
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Trudged down to Brizzle to pick a new laptop (don't get me started on -effing pointless- bean counter driven hardware refreshes) and am sitting there trying to get the festering coprolith that is the Wondoze 10 UI to look something like Win XP and as part of this exercise in despair failing miserably to find the "use small icons" option for the task bar, which I *know* used to be there.  Eventually give up and ask collegue, who points at the "use small buttons" option and looks at me pityingly.

<mutter>
They're not effing buttons.  Buttons have borders, bezels, drop shadows and "move" up and down when you click them. Those bloody things are icons.
</mutter>

I have to Google everything in Windoze (and indeed MacOS when on tech support duty) now. It's infuckingfuriating.

Why can't things be named consistently and in logical findable places.

UI has gone to shit even more than usual in recent years. Lots of Mastodon threads of accessibility bods talking about how flummoxed elderly parents (with and without dementia/cognitive impairment) find it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2023, 03:20:35 am
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Trudged down to Brizzle to pick a new laptop (don't get me started on -effing pointless- bean counter driven hardware refreshes) and am sitting there trying to get the festering coprolith that is the Wondoze 10 UI to look something like Win XP and as part of this exercise in despair failing miserably to find the "use small icons" option for the task bar, which I *know* used to be there.  Eventually give up and ask collegue, who points at the "use small buttons" option and looks at me pityingly.

<mutter>
They're not effing buttons.  Buttons have borders, bezels, drop shadows and "move" up and down when you click them. Those bloody things are icons.
</mutter>

Open-Shell (formerly Classic Shell) is your friend: https://github.com/Open-Shell/Open-Shell-Menu
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 06 September, 2023, 07:54:09 am
Quote from: Mr Larrington
Open-Shell (formerly Classic Shell) is your friend: https://github.com/Open-Shell/Open-Shell-Menu
See PM. 
Lurk.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2023, 08:02:32 am
Note to self: it is no good storing the locations of those places as links to Google Maps if, when you get close to them, you are unable to connect your fondleslab to teh Intarwebs.  And no, I'm not going to use my phone as a hotspot because GiffGaff.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 September, 2023, 08:02:57 am
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Trudged down to Brizzle to pick a new laptop (don't get me started on -effing pointless- bean counter driven hardware refreshes) and am sitting there trying to get the festering coprolith that is the Wondoze 10 UI to look something like Win XP and as part of this exercise in despair failing miserably to find the "use small icons" option for the task bar, which I *know* used to be there.  Eventually give up and ask collegue, who points at the "use small buttons" option and looks at me pityingly.

<mutter>
They're not effing buttons.  Buttons have borders, bezels, drop shadows and "move" up and down when you click them. Those bloody things are icons.
</mutter>

I have to Google everything in Windoze (and indeed MacOS when on tech support duty) now. It's infuckingfuriating.

Why can't things be named consistently and in logical findable places.

UI has gone to shit even more than usual in recent years. Lots of Mastodon threads of accessibility bods talking about how flummoxed elderly parents (with and without dementia/cognitive impairment) find it.
What is doubly infuriating is that Windows USED to be a beacon of design and inclusivity. The research into the window colour palette alone was brilliant.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 September, 2023, 12:35:49 pm
Meanwhile OSX is slowly turning into a sort of grey IOSified version of its former self.  I expect it's only a matter of time before it gets unified with IOS, and the only way to perform basic computing tasks like moving files around will be via the command line.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 September, 2023, 07:39:44 pm
Note to self: it is no good storing the locations of those places as links to Google Maps if, when you get close to them, you are unable to connect your fondleslab to teh Intarwebs.  And no, I'm not going to use my phone as a hotspot because GiffGaff.
Download the Maps app, download the map for being offline and save the location in Maps? (When back online, obv)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 September, 2023, 01:45:44 am
Note to self: it is no good storing the locations of those places as links to Google Maps if, when you get close to them, you are unable to connect your fondleslab to teh Intarwebs.  And no, I'm not going to use my phone as a hotspot because GiffGaff.
Download the Maps app, download the map for being offline and save the location in Maps? (When back online, obv)

Or write them down on a piece of paper  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 September, 2023, 07:36:58 am
Note to self: it is no good storing the locations of those places as links to Google Maps if, when you get close to them, you are unable to connect your fondleslab to teh Intarwebs.  And no, I'm not going to use my phone as a hotspot because GiffGaff.
Download the Maps app, download the map for being offline and save the location in Maps? (When back online, obv)

Or write them down on a piece of paper  ;D
What time is it Where am I, Eccles?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 September, 2023, 07:51:10 am
Note to self: it is no good storing the locations of those places as links to Google Maps if, when you get close to them, you are unable to connect your fondleslab to teh Intarwebs.  And no, I'm not going to use my phone as a hotspot because GiffGaff.
Download the Maps app, download the map for being offline and save the location in Maps? (When back online, obv)

Or write them down on a piece of paper  ;D
What time is it Where am I, Eccles?

Hold on a second!  I got it writted down on a piece of paper…

https://youtu.be/ctM_Rvgjfpo
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 07 September, 2023, 09:24:57 am
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 September, 2023, 03:37:08 pm
I need new cleats for my new shoes. Go onto the 'bay, search, select some Shimano-branded ones. Buy.

Two days later, wonder why they haven't turned up. Royal mail is very quick to here.

Go back and look again. I've only bought them from somewhere in bloody China, haven't I?

Could have added them to my wiggle order if I had brain switched on. I blame the heat.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 08 September, 2023, 07:55:27 pm
Driving through Colchester and trying to follow a set of directions I had been given, I got lost, took a wrong exit off of a roundabout and ended up in a bus lane.  Penalty charge notice arrived this morning.  £70 reduced to £35 if paid promptly.  Welcome to England’s oldest city!  Total divery on my part, nobody else to blame, the signs were big enough in the evidential photo they sent with the letter giving me the good news.  Not sure how I could possibly have missed them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 11 September, 2023, 07:40:15 am
Early morning camping befuddlement. I just poured water for tea into the Trangia burner instead of the kettle .
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 September, 2023, 08:42:03 am
Driving through Colchester and trying to follow a set of directions I had been given, I got lost, took a wrong exit off of a roundabout and ended up in a bus lane.  Penalty charge notice arrived this morning.  £70 reduced to £35 if paid promptly.  Welcome to England’s oldest city!  Total divery on my part, nobody else to blame, the signs were big enough in the evidential photo they sent with the letter giving me the good news.  Not sure how I could possibly have missed them.

I once found myself driving in a kerbed-off contraflow bus lane the wrong way. Managed to get out before the Law noticed. <need emoticon for sweating brow>

'Twas in Metz, m'lud, and that fair city I know not well.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 13 September, 2023, 07:25:30 pm
It may have been a mistake to visit the barber's and have myself shorn the day before coming to Iceland, I now have a nice new warm hat. Down to about 5C ambient tomorrow.

Feck, its expensive here, like Norway on steroids
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 14 September, 2023, 12:37:37 pm
Note to self. After draining the pasta into the sink, do not almost immediately reach for the fork that you earlier discarded in said sink. Ouch!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 September, 2023, 05:05:42 pm
I expect it's only a matter of time before it gets unified with IOS

I think this has explicitly been the plan for some time - it's already possible to run iOS apps on newer MacBooks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 September, 2023, 05:10:53 pm
Went for a run at lunchtime. Intention was to do a lap of Victoria Park, which makes a nice 8km loop.

At the far end of the park, I switched from the path through the park to the path along the canal, which runs alongside the park.

After a while, I was starting to wonder why I hadn't got back to the Olympic Park yet. Also realised that the buildings on the other side of the canal didn't look very familiar.

Turns out I had followed the wrong bit of canal. The park I was running alongside had turned from Victoria Park into Mile End Park without me noticing, and by the time I realised, I was down at the far end of it.

By the time I got back to the office, my 8km route had turned into a 12km route. And my current fitness level and the unseasonal hot conditions make that not a good thing.

Never mind. At least we have decent showers in the office.

Of course, it was only when I stepped out of the shower that I discovered my towel wasn't in my kit bag...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 September, 2023, 07:00:29 pm
I expect it's only a matter of time before it gets unified with IOS

I think this has explicitly been the plan for some time - it's already possible to run iOS apps on newer MacBooks.

To be fair, iOS is also starting to look more like MacOS - now has a dock, etc. I personally like it, I use an iPad and Macbook side-by-side, which is either standalone, or additional desktop space.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 September, 2023, 07:26:08 pm
Went for a run at lunchtime. Intention was to do a lap of Victoria Park, which makes a nice 8km loop.

At the far end of the park, I switched from the path through the park to the path along the canal, which runs alongside the park.

After a while, I was starting to wonder why I hadn't got back to the Olympic Park yet. Also realised that the buildings on the other side of the canal didn't look very familiar.

Turns out I had followed the wrong bit of canal. The park I was running alongside had turned from Victoria Park into Mile End Park without me noticing, and by the time I realised, I was down at the far end of it.

By the time I got back to the office, my 8km route had turned into a 12km route. And my current fitness level and the unseasonal hot conditions make that not a good thing.

Never mind. At least we have decent showers in the office.

Of course, it was only when I stepped out of the shower that I discovered my towel wasn't in my kit bag...
Sounds like you broke the first rule of HHGTTG.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 September, 2023, 07:47:50 pm
I expect it's only a matter of time before it gets unified with IOS

I think this has explicitly been the plan for some time - it's already possible to run iOS apps on newer MacBooks.

To be fair, iOS is also starting to look more like MacOS - now has a dock, etc. I personally like it, I use an iPad and Macbook side-by-side, which is either standalone, or additional desktop space.

It's all good, up until the point where you can no longer get proper desktop applications (or websites), or when the UI changes break the almost magic ability of IOS to make sense to non-technical users.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 14 September, 2023, 07:54:53 pm
Given the power of an iPad is rapidly converging with that of a desktop, I don't think that much of a problem, it just comes down to preferred ergonomics and screen space.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 September, 2023, 08:02:09 pm
TBH, I think the real rot is going to come from Windows running Android apps, which I can't imagine not being a usability shitshow.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 September, 2023, 09:26:46 pm
Given the power of an iPad is rapidly converging with that of a desktop, I don't think that much of a problem, it just comes down to preferred ergonomics and screen space.

My fear is that online businesses will stop developing fully functioning web presences and instead force us to use dumbed down fisher price apps on all platforms.

But that will probably happen even without the convergence. Sigh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 14 September, 2023, 09:39:00 pm
Instead of having to develop and maintain their own in-house apps, and having to have customers install Yet Another App, perhaps they could develop a Universal App to Rule then All?

There could be an entire Web of compatible apps which plug into it....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 September, 2023, 10:15:49 pm
After the recent Silverdale camping trip I thought I'd better belatedly air my tent out.   I put the inner on a clothes rack & put it out on the balcony earlier. 


I've just heard the rain outside.....  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 September, 2023, 09:03:15 am
Fed up with 3-minute power cuts that scrub my espresso machine's settings, I bought an el cheapo SLA battery and put it in one of our old UPSes. Set it all up - it fits nicely in behind the machine - and turned it on.  No smoke, jolly good.  Turned on coffee machine: UPS goes eek and turns on a red light.

Well natch, dumbo.  UPS is 350W max and machine draws 1850. :facepalm:

Looks like our TV (253W) is about to acquire a UPS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 19 September, 2023, 11:37:00 am
Fed up with 3-minute power cuts that scrub my espresso machine's settings, I bought an el cheapo SLA battery and put it in one of our old UPSes. Set it all up - it fits nicely in behind the machine - and turned it on.  No smoke, jolly good.  Turned on coffee machine: UPS goes eek and turns on a red light.

Well natch, dumbo.  UPS is 350W max and machine draws 1850. :facepalm:

Looks like our TV (253W) is about to acquire a UPS.

Couldn't you just install a two way switch (make before break) to switch power from UPS to mains when you want to use it? That opens up years of tripping the UPS when you forget to throw the switch
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 19 September, 2023, 12:01:16 pm
Couldn't you just install a two way switch (make before break) to switch power from UPS to mains when you want to use it?

Woah! Hold on right there!

That would have the UPS output connected to the mains during the changeover.
That sounds like a spectacularly bad idea.

If the machine's settings are volatile and get lost on power cycling, that sounds like Very Poor Design.
The solution would be to open it up and add battery back-up to the memory on control PCB, rather than to try to UPS the whole thing with heating elements / pumps etc.
That's not going to be feasible for most folks, tho.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 19 September, 2023, 12:10:48 pm
The alternative way of doing it is using a changeover relay with a mains coil. That way, when it has mains power it is energised and the machine is driven from the mains. When the mains fails, it runs off the UPS. That isn't too unusual in campers with big inverters on board.
However,
1) If your machine is sensitive to even minor blips in the mains, it'll still lose settings - hopefully it can cope with fractions of a second.
and
2) If you are running the machine when the mains goes out, it'll overload the UPS.

The "right" way of doing it is a big chunky UPS - that way you can run the machine when the power is out, and not suffer caffeine withdrawal during an outage.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 19 September, 2023, 12:12:40 pm
Couldn't you just install a two way switch (make before break) to switch power from UPS to mains when you want to use it?

Woah! Hold on right there!

That would have the UPS output connected to the mains during the changeover.
That sounds like a spectacularly bad idea.

If the machine's settings are volatile and get lost on power cycling, that sounds like Very Poor Design.
The solution would be to open it up and add battery back-up to the memory on control PCB, rather than to try to UPS the whole thing with heating elements / pumps etc.
That's not going to be feasible for most folks, tho.

Possibly simpler, depending on how they're controlled, would to be to modify it so that the coffee-making bits are fed through a separate power lead.  No mains, no coffee, but the magic smoke and settings remain intact.

That said, a break-before-make changeover might work fine, on the basis that most DC power supplies can ride out a second or two of supply interruption on the charge in the reservoir capacitor.

ETA: Crosspost with MattH
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 19 September, 2023, 01:56:37 pm
I would separate out the heater and give it a separate mains lead, as Kim has suggested.

Take the existing wires from the heater and use them to feed the coil of a 240 V relay. The contacts of that relay go in series with the heater.

https://cpc.farnell.com/relpol/rm85-2011-35-5230/8-pin-low-profile-relay-16a-spco/dp/SW05461 (https://cpc.farnell.com/relpol/rm85-2011-35-5230/8-pin-low-profile-relay-16a-spco/dp/SW05461) is a possibility.

For safety / earth leakage reasons, you need to make sure that the live and neutral of the heater are separate from the live and neutral of everything else.

The remaining power rating without the heater will probably be less than 10 W.

Alternatively, the electronics in the coffee machine will run from a low voltage dc. If you can find that voltage and support that directly from an SLA battery, it might be simpler.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 September, 2023, 02:57:12 pm
Thank you all, but the machine is still under guarantee - can't open it.  I dunno why the daft buggers at Sage didn't build in a BIOS battery. They're very good at building in other doo-hickeys you could do without.

MrsT suggests pencil & paper.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 19 September, 2023, 03:39:45 pm
Is it possible it has one but not working? Still under warranty you say...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 19 September, 2023, 05:04:04 pm
Is it possible it has one but not working? Still under warranty you say...

That was my thinking - seems poor design if it relies on mains juice to retain settings . . .  but what sort of settings are they?  - our machine is a plumbed-in Fracino thing that just works with a switch for espresso shots and knobs for steam and hot water.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 September, 2023, 03:05:37 pm
Is it possible it has one but not working? Still under warranty you say...

That was my thinking - seems poor design if it relies on mains juice to retain settings . . .  but what sort of settings are they?  - our machine is a plumbed-in Fracino thing that just works with a switch for espresso shots and knobs for steam and hot water.

Extraction temperature, infusion and extraction time.  Pukka procedure is to dial in again every day because of changes in atmospheric humidity and temperature, so I suppose they think I shouldn't simply assume the current settings will be OK from one day to the next. In my experience they usually are OK as far as I can tell, so it's a nuisance to have to re-calibrate.

I suppose that's Sage's rationale for leaving out a backup system.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 21 September, 2023, 05:46:04 pm
Jeez, what doesn't have a bit of flash memory these days.  Pure laziness, I reckon.  Even if you're tweaking every day, starting from the previous value ought to save a few keypresses.

I suppose you can be thankful it doesn't use internet-of-shit technology to obtain atmospheric data for the wrong location and muck up your coffee...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 21 September, 2023, 05:57:58 pm
Is it possible it has one but not working? Still under warranty you say...

That was my thinking - seems poor design if it relies on mains juice to retain settings . . .  but what sort of settings are they?  - our machine is a plumbed-in Fracino thing that just works with a switch for espresso shots and knobs for steam and hot water.

Extraction temperature, infusion and extraction time.  Pukka procedure is to dial in again every day because of changes in atmospheric humidity and temperature, so I suppose they think I shouldn't simply assume the current settings will be OK from one day to the next. In my experience they usually are OK as far as I can tell, so it's a nuisance to have to re-calibrate.

I suppose that's Sage's rationale for leaving out a backup system.

All that temperature, atmospheric pressure stuff seems to be total cobblers - if the water temperature is within 3 or 4 degrees of the standard, then the biggest variable in making coffee is the beans and their grind.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 September, 2023, 08:24:02 pm
Is it possible it has one but not working? Still under warranty you say...

That was my thinking - seems poor design if it relies on mains juice to retain settings . . .  but what sort of settings are they?  - our machine is a plumbed-in Fracino thing that just works with a switch for espresso shots and knobs for steam and hot water.

Extraction temperature, infusion and extraction time.  Pukka procedure is to dial in again every day because of changes in atmospheric humidity and temperature, so I suppose they think I shouldn't simply assume the current settings will be OK from one day to the next. In my experience they usually are OK as far as I can tell, so it's a nuisance to have to re-calibrate.

I suppose that's Sage's rationale for leaving out a backup system.

All that temperature, atmospheric pressure stuff seems to be total cobblers - if the water temperature is within 3 or 4 degrees of the standard, then the biggest variable in making coffee is the beans and their grind.

I has a different sage machine, and separate grinder, very much this^^^^

I make tweaks for beans
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 September, 2023, 09:00:08 pm
I’ve got a single gaggia machine. You put beans and water in the top, press a button and coffee (eventually) comes out of the spout.

Ok, you can adjust the grind, the amount of beans it grinds, the volume and temp of water it puts through the grounds and the volume of water it tops up an americano with. It has 4 presets you can programme which it allows you to tweak every time you select a programme. But I played around with these when we first got so the various volumes it gives us fit in the cups we’ve and I’ve not needed to alter it again. Well apart from when Dr B wants a coffee later in the day without caffeine, in which case I have to tell it no coffee because I’ve put the decaf in via the bypass shoot.

Lots of,possibilities that doesn’t need messing with day to day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 21 September, 2023, 11:00:51 pm
Coffee, without caffeine? 

I don't understand, you seem to be speaking in riddles
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 September, 2023, 01:29:09 pm
All that temperature, atmospheric pressure stuff seems to be total cobblers - if the water temperature is within 3 or 4 degrees of the standard, then the biggest variable in making coffee is the beans and their grind.

Agree re beans & grind, but I find that a couple of degrees make a noticeable difference in acidity vs bitterness.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 September, 2023, 01:34:20 pm
Coffee, without caffeine? 

I don't understand, you seem to be speaking in riddles

Decaf. An excellent opportunity to recycle the puck from the previous shot.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: davelodwig on 22 September, 2023, 01:43:48 pm
Coffee, without caffeine? 

I don't understand, you seem to be speaking in riddles

I used to think the same way, then In the weeks following the boys arrival I poisoned myself and ended up in hospital.

As it turns out there is a limit to the amount of caffeine you can consume before the palpitations and acid reflex get too much.

Decaf all the way now, I've no desire to repeat that, and I've never slept so well before.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 September, 2023, 04:47:36 pm
Coffee, without caffeine? 

I don't understand, you seem to be speaking in riddles

I used to think the same way, then In the weeks following the boys arrival I poisoned myself and ended up in hospital.

As it turns out there is a limit to the amount of caffeine you can consume before the palpitations and acid reflex get too much.

Decaf all the way now, I've no desire to repeat that, and I've never slept so well before.

I tried decaf a while back. Tasted like shit and the reflux was worse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 22 September, 2023, 09:43:41 pm
Coffee, without caffeine? 

I don't understand, you seem to be speaking in riddles

I used to think the same way, then In the weeks following the boys arrival I poisoned myself and ended up in hospital.

As it turns out there is a limit to the amount of caffeine you can consume before the palpitations and acid reflex get too much.

Decaf all the way now, I've no desire to repeat that, and I've never slept so well before.

My record as a PSO is a jar of instant in under a week
During summer vac, a jug of filter coffee before lunch
As a "grown up" I may have reached double figures

These days, 2 cups with breakfast, another at lunch. If I hit 5 cups that's a long and stressful day
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 22 September, 2023, 11:04:12 pm
My sister’s husband was reputed to live of coffee, cigarettes and finger nails when he was off-shore in the eighties. Looking at his physique during that time I can quite believe it.

Mind ewe, having them shut off a production well (at a cost of $millions an hour) so that you can drop a several hundred of dollars worth of sensitive measurement and analysis kit down their very expensively drilled hole on the end of a very long piece of flimsy wire would make me a bit nervous as well. Add to that the knowledge that if the wire broke you’d have to spend even more time ‘fishing’ for the instrument string becuase they can’t re-start their operations till you get your crap out of their hole. It’s not surprising at all that his diet evolved to include chasers of gaviscon.

He said exploration rigs were even more nerve wrecking becuase they were relying on you telling them that they’d struck paydirt on top of all of the above.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 23 September, 2023, 03:27:40 am
That is the same job wot I did do, for a company that was called Dresser Atlas when I started.
'Wireline engineer' it is called.
I went on to be a training instructor on the subject.

Dont miss it one bit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 23 September, 2023, 07:39:49 am
That is the same job wot I did do, for a company that was called Dresser Atlas when I started.
'Wireline engineer' it is called.
I went on to be a training instructor on the subject.

Dont miss it one bit.

I've always been a topsides person,  what goes on subsurface is witchcraft as far as I'm concerned.

Dresser Atlas, did that eventually become part of Atlas Copco, or get subsumed elsewhere?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 23 September, 2023, 09:21:43 am
From what I understand they all became one company. I certainly remember him working for the firm when it was called Baker-Atlas, although what it was called at the end of his career I can’t remember.  He worked for them from leaving uni to retierment through a number of mergers and name changes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 September, 2023, 04:15:41 pm
Every year about this time, as the seasons change and bring that nip in the air, I always misplace some cold weather accessory or other. One year it was that Jelly Belly buff that was found down the back of a radiator some months later, there's always gloves going astray, last year it was a purple woolly hat missing all winter that D found in his luggage this summer. Now it's the turn of my cycle cap with the little ear flaps. WTF have I done with it?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 23 September, 2023, 04:33:17 pm
From what I understand they all became one company. I certainly remember him working for the firm when it was called Baker-Atlas, although what it was called at the end of his career I can’t remember.  He worked for them from leaving uni to retierment through a number of mergers and name changes.

It was Baker Atlas when I was canned about 6 years ago. There is a fair chance I know him if he passed through Montrose Training Centre in the 10 years prior to that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 23 September, 2023, 05:03:19 pm
That is the same job wot I did do, for a company that was called Dresser Atlas when I started.
'Wireline engineer' it is called.
I went on to be a training instructor on the subject.

Dont miss it one bit.

I've always been a topsides person,  what goes on subsurface is witchcraft as far as I'm concerned.

Dresser Atlas, did that eventually become part of Atlas Copco, or get subsumed elsewhere?

Nothing to do with Atlas Copco, although they do have a huge portfolio of companies. Useless facts, the business started out making steam locomotives, and a bright spark designed tools to speed things up, so Atlas evolved into a tooling supplier. Major breakthrough was a rock drill that could be operated by 1 man instead of 3, using (I kid you not) “the Swedish method”. Later bought a compressor company in Belgium so they had both the tooling (now huge stuff for rock breaking) and power source (compressed air) in house.

I used to work for Seaco, part of Baker Production Services (until that was closed down due to some senior management malfeasance and I was transferred to Baker Oil Tools) and we made wireline winches, wireline tooling and mechanical downhole pressure and temperature recorders. The winches were hydraulically driven, and had air turbine powered cab lights. The Hydraulics, though, were powered by Ford diesels, and we had one back that had gassed up. Quite novel taking off the head and seeing all 6 pistons at TDC.

My neighbour was a wireline operator. He aged about 10 years every 2 week shift he had offshore!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 23 September, 2023, 05:25:15 pm
From what I understand they all became one company. I certainly remember him working for the firm when it was called Baker-Atlas, although what it was called at the end of his career I can’t remember.  He worked for them from leaving uni to retierment through a number of mergers and name changes.

It was Baker Atlas when I was canned about 6 years ago. There is a fair chance I know him if he passed through Montrose Training Centre in the 10 years prior to that.
Didn't Atlas Copco make air compressors?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 23 September, 2023, 05:44:12 pm
From what I understand they all became one company. I certainly remember him working for the firm when it was called Baker-Atlas, although what it was called at the end of his career I can’t remember.  He worked for them from leaving uni to retierment through a number of mergers and name changes.

It was Baker Atlas when I was canned about 6 years ago. There is a fair chance I know him if he passed through Montrose Training Centre in the 10 years prior to that.
He was off-shore in the early eighties when he met my sister. He’s often stated that with a degree in geology he wouldn’t even get an interview these days (from about 95 on I suppose) becuase there’s some much specialisation in degrees now.

He was at Aberdeen from when they were married in 87 (they were planning for a Middle East posting when the company changed its plans and 2 weeks before the wedding they told him he was going to,Aberdeen instead!). I think it was Baker Wireline at that point. They were in Kuwait when the first Gulf War kicked off and then spend a good portion of time in Abu Dhabi, by which time he was doing log analysis and sales. He was the Middle East and Eastern manager before they finally transferred him back to Aberdeen before he was eventually laid off/retired.

They've had a good life, but regret that they never got a Stateside posting which I know my sister in particular would have liked.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 23 September, 2023, 09:32:13 pm
From what I understand they all became one company. I certainly remember him working for the firm when it was called Baker-Atlas, although what it was called at the end of his career I can’t remember.  He worked for them from leaving uni to retierment through a number of mergers and name changes.

It was Baker Atlas when I was canned about 6 years ago. There is a fair chance I know him if he passed through Montrose Training Centre in the 10 years prior to that.
Didn't Atlas Copco make air compressors?

Amongst other things, that's what I know them for, but have a major bid underway for atlas copco vacuum techniques . They seem to have fingers in multiple pies
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 23 September, 2023, 11:15:07 pm
The Hydraulics, though, were powered by Ford diesels, and we had one back that had gassed up. Quite novel taking off the head and seeing all 6 pistons at TDC.
What had happened there? Had it over-revved and broken all the connecting rods?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 September, 2023, 03:26:04 pm
Just went to 'stow Central on the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle.  Forgot gloves.  Grubby little paws now even grubbier thanks to ancient grip shifters slowly turning back into black sticky primordial ooze.

Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 26 September, 2023, 03:50:59 pm
Just went to 'stow Central on the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle.  Forgot gloves.  Grubby little paws now even grubbier thanks to ancient grip shifters slowly turning back into black sticky primordial ooze.

Bah!

We have a set of saucepans that have all gone that way over the course of the summer.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 26 September, 2023, 03:55:54 pm
The Hydraulics, though, were powered by Ford diesels, and we had one back that had gassed up. Quite novel taking off the head and seeing all 6 pistons at TDC.
What had happened there? Had it over-revved and broken all the connecting rods?

Basically yes. When the engine gassed up it started to run away. That caused the governor on the inlet to shut the air intake abruptly, so descending pistons pull a vacuum, or try to.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 26 September, 2023, 06:15:29 pm
The Hydraulics, though, were powered by Ford diesels, and we had one back that had gassed up. Quite novel taking off the head and seeing all 6 pistons at TDC.
What had happened there? Had it over-revved and broken all the connecting rods?

Basically yes. When the engine gassed up it started to run away. That caused the governor on the inlet to shut the air intake abruptly, so descending pistons pull a vacuum, or try to.
The force from atmospheric pressure (or even crankcase pressure) is 1/2 of 1% of FA compared to the acceleration force on a piston at TDC. I suspect that damage came simply from over-reving.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 27 September, 2023, 09:11:14 am
Champion.

I'm assembling a ukulele kit for littleun's fifth birthday having decided that putting most of the kit together to a point where we can finish assembly on the day is the best idea. I'm at the bit where I need to fix the plastic fretboard and nut using my industrial strength superglue. So I put on plastic gloves, don't I? Coz I'm not a div, am I? I actually make a fair fist of fixing them, coz I'm not a div, am I? there may be some excess glue floating around but that's not a problem is it, since I have those gloves on. Yep. Job well done, I think I'll drink my coffee now, in celebration. Before taking off the gloves  :facepalm:

Not the biggest one ever, and it is solveable, but it did make me laugh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rower40 on 27 September, 2023, 11:55:04 am
Don’t laugh too hard if your coffee mug is superglued to your mouth…
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: GdS on 27 September, 2023, 05:45:04 pm
For the last couple of years I've heard a distant bell from the local school at about 0820; sounded a bit like an electric rather than a hand ringing type. I presumed it was a signal to open the several gates in.

Turns out it's a Nissan Leaf across the road which chimes when the Mum puts it into reverse to take her kids to (another) school  :facepalm:

I don't think it ever gets driven otherwise....
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 September, 2023, 06:43:49 pm
Stanley knife vs thumb.   :facepalm:

Deep enough to be serious, but not serious enough to seek medical attention.  Superglue has stopped most of the bleeding.  Mostly.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 29 September, 2023, 06:57:44 pm
Stanley knife vs thumb.   :facepalm:

Deep enough to be serious, but not serious enough to seek medical attention.  Superglue has stopped most of the bleeding.  Mostly.

SG is good for stuff like that.
It means you can carry on working with the pernickety stuff without half a ton of Elastoplast impeding progress.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 29 September, 2023, 07:37:45 pm
Aaaand it's Sandie Shaw on the turntables! We're gonna spin Something Always There To Remind Me, remember that, rockers.


(in my case, a thumb scar from 53 years ago)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 September, 2023, 08:04:31 pm
Stanley knife vs thumb.   :facepalm:

Deep enough to be serious, but not serious enough to seek medical attention.  Superglue has stopped most of the bleeding.  Mostly.

SG is good for stuff like that.
It means you can carry on working with the pernickety stuff without half a ton of Elastoplast impeding progress.

Except every time I forget to not use it it starts bleeding again.  Turns out that small spanners can be operated barakta-style, and holding things creatively while soldering is normal, but I'm incapable of stripping wire properly, tearing bread or undoing the belt on the trousers I'm currently wearing without left thumb involvement.

I expect tomorrow's pedal car racing might be interesting.  Will bring plenty of micropore, and full-finger gloves.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 September, 2023, 08:23:33 pm
Stanley knife vs thumb.   :facepalm:

Deep enough to be serious, but not serious enough to seek medical attention.  Superglue has stopped most of the bleeding.  Mostly.

SG is good for stuff like that.
It means you can carry on working with the pernickety stuff without half a ton of Elastoplast impeding progress.

Except every time I forget to not use it it starts bleeding again.  Turns out that small spanners can be operated barakta-style, and holding things creatively while soldering is normal, but I'm incapable of stripping wire properly, tearing bread or undoing the belt on the trousers I'm currently wearing without left thumb involvement.

I expect tomorrow's pedal car racing might be interesting.  Will bring plenty of micropore, and full-finger gloves.

Durapore is more bettererr in my experience.

Or not chopping your thumb in half, but hey ho.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 September, 2023, 08:27:24 pm
Just went to 'stow Central on the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle.  Forgot gloves.  Grubby little paws now even grubbier thanks to ancient grip shifters slowly turning back into black sticky primordial ooze.

Bah!

We have a set of saucepans that have all gone that way over the course of the summer.

In my case it was my cycling glasses, the rubberising of the arms went a s gooey as a blackjack in the heat
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 29 September, 2023, 08:30:55 pm
Just went to 'stow Central on the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle.  Forgot gloves.  Grubby little paws now even grubbier thanks to ancient grip shifters slowly turning back into black sticky primordial ooze.

Bah!

We have a set of saucepans that have all gone that way over the course of the summer.

In my case it was my cycling glasses, the rubberising of the arms went a s gooey as a blackjack in the heat

I note that our perfectly good Alpkit camping lantern is starting to go that way.

The Psion5-style flaking off in little bits that get everywhere failure mode is marginally less annoying.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 29 September, 2023, 08:49:28 pm
That happens to lots of otherwise useful bits of kit & I've never found a way to stop it.  In time the sticky black residue gets all over other stuff as well.


Stanley knife,  ouch.   Invest in a pair of those automatic wire strippers ?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 29 September, 2023, 08:53:38 pm
Using the handheld mode of my steam mop to steam curtains (they were *very* creased, having been sitting in a pile on the floor, and steaming them in situ seemed marginally more appealing than ironing them before hanging). Wondered how hot the steam was, so put my hand behind the curtain while steaming it to find out.

Reader, it was hot. :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 September, 2023, 09:14:09 pm
@kim I used a Compeed to good effect last time I had superfuckingsharpthing Vs finger interface.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 29 September, 2023, 09:17:11 pm
Operating a potato peeler yesterday I peeled the end of my little finger.

To be fair, a medical issue has given me clumsy hands, so I really had a very good excuse not to be peeling potatoes, but I fancied a fish pie.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Peter on 29 September, 2023, 09:28:41 pm
"Fish and finger pie" instead?  (Penny Lane)

Hope you aren't too sore.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 30 September, 2023, 01:47:57 am
Slicing jalapeños earlier didn’t aid matters.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 30 September, 2023, 10:06:40 am
Like eating salt & pepper pistachios then rubbing one's eye, only worse.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 30 September, 2023, 03:20:27 pm
or making spicy pickled cucumbers then rubbing your eye

I wonder how many of these we can come up with between us?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 30 September, 2023, 03:36:47 pm
Slicing chillies and going for a pee.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 01 October, 2023, 07:23:42 am
I hope you put the knife down first
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SteveC on 01 October, 2023, 11:36:35 am
I have lost an envelope of seeds. A selection of hardy annuals for sowing now and overwintering. I did this last year and it was a real success.
I was going to sow them last weekend, but we're on holiday shortly and I didn't want them sprouting before I got back, so I postponed until today. And now I cannot find them anywhere. It's not as if this is a particularly big house with loads of hiding places. My best guess is that, as they were in brown paper envelopes they were put out with the recycling midweek. Sigh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 01 October, 2023, 01:48:28 pm
I have lost an envelope of seeds. A selection of hardy annuals for sowing now and overwintering. I did this last year and it was a real success.
I was going to sow them last weekend, but we're on holiday shortly and I didn't want them sprouting before I got back, so I postponed until today. And now I cannot find them anywhere. It's not as if this is a particularly big house with loads of hiding places. My best guess is that, as they were in brown paper envelopes they were put out with the recycling midweek. Sigh.

I did that with my PBP 2015 results + medal.  I haven't dared clear my desk up since.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 01 October, 2023, 07:25:25 pm
That reminds me, I need to empty the pocket of my fleece of wild lupin seeds picked while walking in iceland
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 01 October, 2023, 08:50:19 pm
That reminds me, I need to empty the pocket of my fleece of wild lupin seeds picked while walking in iceland
Hand over yer lupins!

Sent from my POT-LX1 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 02 October, 2023, 11:29:14 am
That reminds me, I need to empty the pocket of my fleece of wild lupin seeds picked while walking in iceland

Arsène about?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 October, 2023, 04:48:32 pm
Forgot to buy milk in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles.  Again.  Bollocks.

Fortunately no houses for sale between Larrington Towers and the corner sklep.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 03 October, 2023, 12:54:23 pm
Forgot to buy milk in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles.  Again.  Bollocks.

Fortunately no houses for sale between Larrington Towers and the corner sklep.
I bought milk when in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles, only to find that I had half of what I’d bough on the previous visit still sitting in the fridgirator. You’re quite welcome to the extra bottle at no cost if you’d like. Collection or you pay postage obv. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 October, 2023, 01:01:21 pm
Forgot to buy milk in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles.  Again.  Bollocks.

Fortunately no houses for sale between Larrington Towers and the corner sklep.
I bought milk when in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles, only to find that I had half of what I’d bough on the previous visit still sitting in the fridgirator. You’re quite welcome to the extra bottle at no cost if you’d like. Collection or you pay postage obv.

I still had half a pint left but it was purchased long enough ago that it would undoubtedly have made my tea taste foul.  Which is not on.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 03 October, 2023, 02:45:54 pm
I bought a six pack of UHT milk in  Mr Sainsburys at the time of Brexit panic buying in 2019...
Onlybto sample it in 2023 and find it was normal milk all along... Now cheese..

Sent from my POT-LX1 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 06 October, 2023, 05:50:21 pm
It's a warm & sticky day in Liverpoolshire.   I've just walked all the way to Screwfix to collect some MR16 LED bulbs for my Mum's bathroom.  I ordered 2 packs of 5 & a couple of other items I'm going to need in the near future.    In the delirious happiness caused by the banter of the chaps on the counter I've walked out with only 1 pack of bulbs.  That means a walk or ride back tomorrow, and a possible discussion..... :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 October, 2023, 04:41:28 pm
I cleaned one of the chains on the Pino today. This involved separating it at the quick link, dunking it in white spirit in an old soup container and giving in the Sheldon Shake.

On reassembly, in an exciting! new! variant of "threading the chain the wrong side of the tab on the derailleur" I managed to thread it round the leg of the kickstand.  Oops.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 09 October, 2023, 10:30:27 am
Turned up at the surgery for one of those fabled GP appointments at 10 am this morning. The receptionist says 'I can't find it.' Scroll back through the texts for the confirmation. Monday 16th.

A good start to my week off. Fortunately, we were in the car, I'd have been more narked if I'd walked there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 October, 2023, 12:48:32 pm
Posting on behalf of Cafés Ximun, who sent me 4 kg of coffee instead of the 4 x 250g that I ordered (and paid for).  The carriage fees to send it back would probably eat their profit margin, but I don't really want to drink the same coffee for 4 solid months, even if they don't want payment for the extra.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 October, 2023, 01:57:58 pm
Bung it in the freezer and bring some out on alternate Thursdays?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 11 October, 2023, 02:52:15 pm
More or less what they said. They phoned me up a while ago.

Trouble is, freezer's full.  Have to eat a few tartes flambées first.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 13 October, 2023, 05:13:01 pm
I'm about due an entry here.
I put the lawnmower cable in through the open kitchen window, to plug in via a safety circuit breaker and a kitchen socket as usual, walked back out round the house, ear defenders and sunglasses on, connected mower and  - mower not spooling up on command.
Switchy - switchy, inspect and wiggle the connector again. Still no go. Did I switch the mains on? Yes, I remember doing that. Goes back to have another look. Yup, it,s on, and I tested and reset the breaker. Gave the breaker a firm push in case everything wasn't quite in. Still no mowage. At this point I mentally located my test meter, unplugged the mower cable end and planned a cable / fuse test. to check what fuse access was like on the 13 amp end I pulled it from the socket, and inspected......
The toaster plug. Whereas the mower plug was still dangling by the window.
Grass is now cut.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 October, 2023, 06:37:36 pm
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 October, 2023, 07:00:36 pm
A couple of years ago, in a fit of Shiny! New! label printer excitement, I went round labelling all the mains plugs on things.  This has prevented a couple of counts of related divvery, and failed to prevent one (in which barakta misheard me, and unplugged the plug with the bright yellow "DO NOT UNPLUG" label on it, with hilarious consequences).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 13 October, 2023, 09:19:58 pm
Still, well done on mowing the lawn with a toaster, thobut  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 October, 2023, 06:43:51 pm
The fact of this week’s grocery shopping costing a welcome amount less than last week’s has little to do with Prices of Toothy Comestibles and everything to do with only buying enough scran for six days :facepalm:  You imbecile cow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 October, 2023, 08:19:54 am
Moo?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 October, 2023, 12:37:28 pm
Hmm. It appears I may have Freegled the stick blender in the great house move purge. Which would not have been that big an issue had I not discovered this after I started making soup in a cast iron pan.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 20 October, 2023, 12:41:06 pm
Hmm. It appears I may have Freegled the stick blended in the great house move purge. Which would not have been that big an issue had I not discovered this after I started making CHUNKY WHOLESOME soup in a cast iron pan.

What's the problem?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 October, 2023, 12:52:21 pm
Whole Brussels sprouts are the problem
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 October, 2023, 02:57:28 pm
Potato masher ftw.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 20 October, 2023, 06:02:30 pm
Earlier today a lot of stuff on my window ledge got a bit moist due to a leak.     This included several rechargeable AA batteries.    Looking for somewhere to dry them off I dumped them into my favourite Le Creuset frying pan & left them. 


I'm just heating something up to eat before going out.....  what's that funny smell, and the hissing noise.... oh crap,  I turned the wrong ring on !    To compound my divvery, I pulled the pan off the hob & put it down on the worktop, scorching the laminate..  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 October, 2023, 06:07:24 pm
That's not how the Explosion Containment Pie Dish™ is supposed to work.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 20 October, 2023, 06:19:47 pm
Earlier today a lot of stuff on my window ledge got a bit moist due to a leak.     This included several rechargeable AA batteries.    Looking for somewhere to dry them off I dumped them into my favourite Le Creuset frying pan & left them. 


I'm just heating something up to eat before going out.....  what's that funny smell, and the hissing noise.... oh crap,  I turned the wrong ring on !    To compound my divvery, I pulled the pan off the hob & put it down on the worktop, scorching the laminate..  :facepalm:

An excellent effort  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 20 October, 2023, 08:56:37 pm
Whole Brussels sprouts are the problem

Get the garden strimmer in there.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 October, 2023, 10:15:14 pm
That's not how the Explosion Containment Pie Dish™ is supposed to work.
He’s not used that much of last. I think I might have to email him to up his game!!!!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 20 October, 2023, 10:43:11 pm
That's not how the Explosion Containment Pie Dish™ is supposed to work.
He’s not used that much of last. I think I might have to email him to up his game!!!!

To be fair, he did get an actual fire extinguisher out after destruction-testing an appropriately Chinesium[1] mains lead the other day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwwiCftM4Qg).



[1] Copper-coated steel!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 22 October, 2023, 01:51:21 pm
Today I wrestled a jar of Old El Paso guacamole for 5 minutes, using the strap wrench Kim suggested a few years ago, before it finally ceded with a gratifying pop. (Taste and texture were vile; no more than deserved for not making it myself, but that's beside the point.)

As I'm pushing my knuckles back into the right places MrsT says "here, have another go" and passes me a jar of OEP salsa roja (which tastes OK because we don't know any better).  I get the lid lassoed with the strap wrench, dampen my left hand to give it a grip, and wrench away. Jar rotates in age-enfeebled grip.  I set it on its side on the chopping-board, grip again and lean on it into the bargain.

Wrench.

Pop.

Rattle.

Ever had to scrape up half a jar of salsa roja from your chopping-board?

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 22 October, 2023, 04:09:10 pm
Perhaps two strap wrenches would help? One for the bottle, one for the lid.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 22 October, 2023, 04:15:21 pm
Kids had a sleepover in front room so instead of my usual getting back from dog walk and letting hound in front door I kept him on lead and took through to kitchen so he didnt disturb kids, made a brew and got on with chores and some work. About an hour later my brother appears in my kitchen. I'd completely forgotten to shut the front door
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 October, 2023, 04:36:24 pm
Perhaps two strap wrenches would help? One for the bottle, one for the lid.

I was going to say that, or a rubber band/piece of old inner tube.
I have also had success with the sharp tap on the lid (I think I did it upside down) to break the vacuum before now.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 October, 2023, 04:38:04 pm
Speaking of jar opening devices, I used mine last week to finally loosen the telescopic mop handle that I'd got stuck in one position.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 22 October, 2023, 04:40:22 pm
I just wedge a flat screwdriver between lid and jar and give it a little twist till the pressure equalizes and the lid comes off easily. Job done. Never failed.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: nicknack on 22 October, 2023, 05:24:51 pm
I just wedge a flat screwdriver between lid and jar and give it a little twist till the pressure equalizes and the lid comes off easily. Job done. Never failed.
I have a small plastic device called JarKey that my Australian friend sent me. It does the same thing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PhilO on 23 October, 2023, 09:21:54 am
I just wedge a flat screwdriver between lid and jar and give it a little twist till the pressure equalizes and the lid comes off easily. Job done. Never failed.
I have a small plastic device called JarKey that my Australian friend sent me. It does the same thing.

If you don't plan on re-using the jar, anything that pierces the lid will do. My habit is to tap the lid with the rear (ie handle-) end of my Nakiri. Getting stabby with a pointy knife would also work but obviously requires a bit more care.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 23 October, 2023, 09:42:57 am
I just wedge a flat screwdriver between lid and jar and give it a little twist till the pressure equalizes and the lid comes off easily. Job done. Never failed.
I have a small plastic device called JarKey that my Australian friend sent me. It does the same thing.

If you don't plan on re-using the jar, anything that pierces the lid will do. My habit is to tap the lid with the rear (ie handle-) end of my Nakiri. Getting stabby with a pointy knife would also work but obviously requires a bit more care.

I wedge an ordinary (eating) knife under the rim. Occasionally a teaspoon will do.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 23 October, 2023, 09:45:40 am
With stubborn lids I invert the far and give the base a sharp smack - probably dislodges the seal enough to equalise. And occasionally pour boiling water on the lid to force an expansion.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 October, 2023, 01:27:04 pm
I just wedge a flat screwdriver between lid and jar and give it a little twist till the pressure equalizes and the lid comes off easily. Job done. Never failed.
I have a small plastic device called JarKey that my Australian friend sent me. It does the same thing.

If you don't plan on re-using the jar, anything that pierces the lid will do. My habit is to tap the lid with the rear (ie handle-) end of my Nakiri. Getting stabby with a pointy knife would also work but obviously requires a bit more care.

I wedge an ordinary (eating) knife under the rim. Occasionally a teaspoon will do.
The LCC way works. At least with a knife, never tried a teaspoon.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CarlF on 23 October, 2023, 01:39:41 pm
We've got the metal version of the Jarkey (search results on Google seem to all be plastic but I imagine they work just the same). Not only is it totally effective, far easier than any of the other devices I've come across (strap wrench, sheet of thin textured rubber, things with teeth that grab the lid as you twist, etc.), and doesn't damage the lid or the jar, it can be used one handed with the jar sitting on the worktop.

Which could be useful if one of your hands is bandaged up due to prior jar-related divvery

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 October, 2023, 01:47:08 pm
As barakta has about 1/3 of normal grip strength in her good hand, this comes up a lot in our house.  We have an assortment of gadgets, but the one that we tend to reach for first is a set of those rubbery builder gloves designed for lugging paving slabs and similar around.  The improvement in grip on a typical jar lid is astonishing.

After doing some sink trap related plumbing work for a friend with similar issues, I left a manky pair of them behind, with the suggestion that once washed they might be useful for grippy tasks.  Their occupational therapist was really impressed, but needed a bit of explaining that they were more likely to be found at a builders' merchant than an adaptive gadget supplier.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 23 October, 2023, 02:55:00 pm
Is this a business opportunity to buy a load in, repackage with a catchy name and sell as an adaptive aid at 5x cost price?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 23 October, 2023, 03:07:22 pm
This is real issue in our household. My wife, at 79, has very little general strength, never mind grip. So she can't, for instance, open a bottle of water - if she buys one when out she has to ask the shop to open it for her. And although we have an aid - looks a bit like a bottle opener but has a ring lined with soft rubber to grip the cap - she can't press down firmly enough to get it to grip before turning. Sometimes even the milk bottle caps are screwed on too tightly for her.

We do have some of the "builders" gloves - I use the Showa ones for gardening - so I might see if that helps her.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 October, 2023, 03:14:32 pm
Perhaps two strap wrenches would help? One for the bottle, one for the lid.

Yup: the second one arrived this morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 October, 2023, 03:17:00 pm
I wedge an ordinary (eating) knife under the rim.

We have a bent one in the drawer. Either someone did that with it or we have a heavy-handed butterer in the family.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Clare on 23 October, 2023, 04:42:02 pm
Plain rubber gloves work for me, the sort you'd use when doing the washing up.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 October, 2023, 04:46:51 pm
I find gloves are ok, but if you get a really big jar (say pickles) the size becomes an issue if you have small hands, which is where the strap wrench comes in handy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 23 October, 2023, 05:48:46 pm
My Global kitchen scissors (https://www.johnlewis.com/global-stainless-steel-kitchen-shears/p3201726?s_ppc=2dx_mixed_home_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CjwKCAjws9ipBhB1EiwAccEi1HvCVqbRnT7QvWnh0u1huiXoIDvKOVb5RRO-l7SEGBJyYlUSfBef0hoC3fMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) have pointy bits on both of the finger loops which are optimal for levering the edges of jar lids thus destroying the vacuum.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 23 October, 2023, 07:20:36 pm
As barakta has about 1/3 of normal grip strength in her good hand, this comes up a lot in our house.  We have an assortment of gadgets, but the one that we tend to reach for first is a set of those rubbery builder gloves designed for lugging paving slabs and similar around.  The improvement in grip on a typical jar lid is astonishing.

After doing some sink trap related plumbing work for a friend with similar issues, I left a manky pair of them behind, with the suggestion that once washed they might be useful for grippy tasks.  Their occupational therapist was really impressed, but needed a bit of explaining that they were more likely to be found at a builders' merchant than an adaptive gadget supplier.

On the subject of gloves from a builders merchant, can I recommend welding gauntlets as oven gloves. They work better than anything I've ever found that's was actually intended as an oven glove.

When doing BBQ they are sufficient that you can literally pick up flaming coals to move them around to where you need the heat. I have a pair for the Kitchen, and a pair for the BBQ.

Under 20 quid, and they last really well.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 October, 2023, 09:33:52 pm
I wedge an ordinary (eating) knife under the rim.

We have a bent one in the drawer. Either someone did that with it or we have a heavy-handed butterer in the family.
The knife is for breaking the seal, not levering off the lid. If you need to actually prise it open (unlikely), you need something tougher than a table knife.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 October, 2023, 12:51:05 pm
“Shittles!” exclaimed Mr Larrington as his bedside clock informed him that it was already quarter past eleven.  Before stumbling bleary-eyed up to the kettle and noticing the wall clock said it was but 10:15.

Note to self: reset bedside clock :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 01 November, 2023, 12:21:22 pm
I was going to post this in the rant thread, but I think I have to own up to this situation being the result of poor planning on my part...

For reasons I won't bore you with, I had to drive part of the way to work this morning and left the car in Rochester. The long-stay car park was full by the time I got there so I had to park in the short-stay car park - didn't have time to look for somewhere else to park as I had a train to catch - which is likely to result in having to pay £26 rather than £6.50 by the time I get back tonight.

Ouch!

I've done this a few times before and the long-stay is always busy but there have always been at least a few spaces. Need to come up with a contingency plan before the next time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 November, 2023, 08:06:46 pm
When hitting <ALT-F4> to close i Tunes it is wise to ensure iTunes is in the foreground.  That way you won’t kill the GBFO Monthly Backup of Many Things instead :facepalm:

Fortunately the GBFO Monthly Backup of Many Things can be restarted where it left off, but it can take an age to get there because Many Things.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 November, 2023, 07:43:34 pm
Forgot that I'd left Henry the vacuum cleaner on the landing.  Walked into him in the dark.  He fought back.  Toe, elbow, finger.

I'll get even for that, you plastic bastard.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 November, 2023, 01:39:57 pm
Forgot that I'd left Henry the vacuum cleaner on the landing.  Walked into him in the dark.  He fought back.  Toe, elbow, finger.

I'll get even for that, you plastic bastard.
Well that sucks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 06 November, 2023, 01:41:49 pm
Surprised that Henries haven't cropped up as a Dr OHO villain.  They've got all the main attributes: Iconically BRITISH, slightly naff, not very good at stairs...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 12 November, 2023, 05:09:14 pm
Reached home after ride to find ~4" of label hanging over the side of my overshoe.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 16 November, 2023, 06:07:35 pm
This could cross-refer to tool junkie and fettled today threads -

I've been refinishing some furniture (a bit of sideline business) to do up and sell . . . got the random orbital sander out to deal with some very bad stains on a G-plan coffee table . . . machine on, moving around on the surface but no discernible effect - ah, no abrasive sheet on the machine (fortunately the Velcro grip stuff that holds the abrasive didn't do any more damage the finish)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 17 November, 2023, 09:08:29 pm
Very smooth, Rob  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 17 November, 2023, 11:16:43 pm
It's generally a good idea to ensure that the mug is under the spout when turning on the coffee machine
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: yorkie on 18 November, 2023, 11:13:09 am
It's generally a good idea to ensure that the mug is under the spout when turning on the coffee machine
Been there, done that, had to empty out the overflowing drip tray!
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 November, 2023, 01:31:56 pm
It's generally a good idea to ensure that the mug is under the spout when turning on the coffee machine
Been there, done that, had to empty out the overflowing drip tray!

Ditto.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 18 November, 2023, 01:34:58 pm
Is it possible to own a coffee machine and not do this at least once? I might have done it twice.  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 18 November, 2023, 01:36:53 pm

Was gonna say, isn't this one of those "There's two kinds of coffee machine owners, those who have done this, and those who will do this?"

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 18 November, 2023, 08:47:27 pm
still fecking divvery thobut
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 19 November, 2023, 08:21:14 am
And this morning's variation on the theme... when you can't hear the coffee draining from the filter (old tech FTW!) into the jug, the jug is full.  Do not add more water to the filter cone. Dolt.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 19 November, 2023, 02:19:29 pm

It really sounds like a lot of you need to have your morning coffee before you can make your morning coffee!

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 November, 2023, 02:43:34 pm
First thing in the morning, B2C machines rock.

A bit later on, when I was reducing the sauce on my braised duck*, MrsT slid the serving dish into my field of view without saying anything.  I turned reflexively, which laid the scalding stirring-spoon against the lower joint of my thumb.  However, licking the spot allowed me to soothe the hurt and sample the sauce at the same time: it's an ill wind.

* with ginger, leeks and dark miso. Nom.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 November, 2023, 07:04:32 pm
Give the tin of tomatoes a gentle shake *before* you crack the ring pull, you tool.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 November, 2023, 07:55:41 pm
When putting out cat fud:
:facepalm:

Fortunately for both me and the cats other cat fud was available so they didn’t get starved enough to try to eat me.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 November, 2023, 05:59:10 pm
Me, again.
Thought I would try and eliminate one of the chinks of light from the bedroom curtains by getting a 'curtain overlap' kit for the track.
Except I assumed that the bedroom curtain track was a Swish, like the living room one is.

Reader, it isn't, as I discovered when said overlap kit was delivered today.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 November, 2023, 09:22:26 am
When putting out cat fud:
  • Put the cat fud bowl on the floor rather than leaving it on a worktop
  • Don't put the cat fud bowl in a cat-free room and then close the door
:facepalm:

Fortunately for both me and the cats other cat fud was available so they didn’t get starved enough to try to eat me.

#2 may actually have been Charlie the Builder closing the door coz he's working on the landing outside that room at the moment.  Actually, he's outside chatting with the brickies ATM but I'm not the one paying him.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: cycleman on 22 November, 2023, 07:30:13 pm
Repairing a puncture for a friend I replaced the tyre before refitting the repaired inner tube  :-[ ::-)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 22 November, 2023, 07:44:30 pm
Repairing a puncture for a friend I replaced the tyre before refitting the repaired inner tube  :-[ ::-)

Tubeless conversion, innit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 November, 2023, 12:37:00 am
I've somehow managed to stab myself in the thumb with my other thumb - and draw blood - while opening a jar.   ???

The injury is in the profile of my thumbnail, and is now itching like a cat scratch.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 November, 2023, 09:07:45 am
Me, again.
Thought I would try and eliminate one of the chinks of light from the bedroom curtains by getting a 'curtain overlap' kit for the track.
Except I assumed that the bedroom curtain track was a Swish, like the living room one is.

Reader, it isn't, as I discovered when said overlap kit was delivered today.

Chap I once knew used to carry a stapler for niggardly hotel curtains. One sharp jerk in the morning and they were open again.  Had to be careful in bare feet, though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 November, 2023, 09:39:05 am
Posted for and on behalf of Charlie the Builder:

Yesterday: CtB mislays phone.  Not in his car or anywhere in the Schloß.  Try ringing it but hear nothing.  CtB revisits three shops wot he went to in the morning.  No phone.  Buys new phone.

Today: CtB finds missing phone tangled up in tarp covering his wood pile :facepalm:

This, he says, is why his phone of choice is the £7 Tesco Special.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 November, 2023, 12:25:15 pm
Me, again.
Thought I would try and eliminate one of the chinks of light from the bedroom curtains by getting a 'curtain overlap' kit for the track.
Except I assumed that the bedroom curtain track was a Swish, like the living room one is.

Reader, it isn't, as I discovered when said overlap kit was delivered today.

Chap I once knew used to carry a stapler for niggardly hotel curtains. One sharp jerk in the morning and they were open again.  Had to be careful in bare feet, though.

I guess women with enough hair (not me) could use one of those sprung hair clip thingies.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 23 November, 2023, 12:54:29 pm
I guess women with enough hair (not me) could use one of those sprung hair clip thingies.

I think we may in fact have one of those clipped to the curtain.

I've also used bulldog clips and 25A crocogator clips to the same effect.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 23 November, 2023, 02:47:52 pm
Divery 1: I left my hotel keycard in my room.

Divery 2: I then proceeded to the 13th floor and cursed when the new card didn't work. My room is on the 8th floor.

I have form on this, many years ago in a desert far away (well actually just across the King Fahad causeway) I spent 10 minutes trying to check out of room 846. Reception insisted they had no such room and in fact only had 6 floors. In fairness I had stayed in a room 846 in a different city, 2 nights previously. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 23 November, 2023, 05:45:05 pm
When I used to travel all the time and could be on the road for weeks at a time and a different hotel every night or so I had resort to taking a photo of my room number each time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 23 November, 2023, 10:13:20 pm
When I used to travel all the time and could be on the road for weeks at a time and a different hotel every night or so I had resort to taking a photo of my room number each time.
We now do that in large car parks especially at the airport.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 November, 2023, 11:50:29 am


Got as far as the second train, and second ticket check of the day only to discover the ferry ticket, and thus my train ticket to any greater Anglia station that I had printed off is from March...

Oops

Fortunately I had the PDF on my phone.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 24 November, 2023, 01:25:18 pm
Spent yesterday evening making a gluten free picnic for the flight today. They are still in the fridge in the flat and hipster we are at the airport!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 25 November, 2023, 07:51:31 pm


Travelling for the weekend I made sure I have multiple inhalers with me (one in each bag, one in coat).

Of the 3 I brought with me. 2 are empty...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 26 November, 2023, 09:29:09 pm
I have taught myself the ability to make basic pastry.  I have an apple tree that produced a lot this year.  The inevitable happened and the freezer filled up with apple tarts.

So today I retrieved last but one tart and put in the oven. When it was cooked I took it out.  Then I noticed I had not removed the cling film from the pie dish. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Paul on 26 November, 2023, 09:59:35 pm
I have taught myself the ability to make basic pastry.  I have an apple tree that produced a lot this year.  The inevitable happened and the freezer filled up with apple tarts.

So today I retrieved last but one tart and put in the oven. When it was cooked I took it out.  Then I noticed I had not removed the cling film from the pie dish.
A worthy effort!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 28 November, 2023, 10:45:01 pm
An errand on Saturday necessitated the use of my bar bag, which in my case I could not find, neither in the Right Cupboard, the Other Cupboards nor the SEECRIT Buknker.

Replay when I last had it. Ooh, the weekend before. What did I do that weekend? Think some more. Scout thing Sunday afternoon by car. Not that.  Coffee in town. Possibly. Ring cafe. No sign. What else did I do? Ah yes, visit to a  microbrewery , tasting of wares for the use of. On bike. I only had three pints, but I nearly forgot my coat as I left, having to go back after 20metres. I suspect I left it there. Maybe. Ring the brewery , but they aintent seen it. Arse.   
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 29 November, 2023, 11:33:03 am
Elevenses:

(https://pbase.com/image/174167218.jpg)

But two minutes later I knocked the plate against the edge of the door and bathed my croissant in coffee. There's no fool like an old fool.

OTOH my sweater now has a cuff that smells nice.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 November, 2023, 01:04:39 pm
Divery 1: I left my hotel keycard in my room.

Divery 2: I then proceeded to the 13th floor and cursed when the new card didn't work. My room is on the 8th floor.

I have form on this, many years ago in a desert far away (well actually just across the King Fahad causeway) I spent 10 minutes trying to check out of room 846. Reception insisted they had no such room and in fact only had 6 floors. In fairness I had stayed in a room 846 in a different city, 2 nights previously.

my version of this was staying in a mirror image room of the previous week, and waking up one morning utterly disoriented. Took me a good 5 mins to work through day-week-client-location, not necesarily in that order.

I've also had the excitement of being given an already occupied room, in Jakarta, inhabited by a very confused chinese couple.  My slight inebriation probably didn't help, waved my hands vaguely and went back down to reception to get a new room.  And then promptly forgot the number of it between breakfast and getting back up to the floor again the next morning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 29 November, 2023, 03:58:31 pm
There’s a lot to be said for big clunky keyrings with the room number heavily engraved I large friendly fonts.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 November, 2023, 04:04:16 pm
There’s a lot to be said for big clunky keyrings with the room number heavily engraved I large friendly fonts.
The problem with that is, people lose keys. Keys and keycards.

If the room number is on the key, then a thief can just stroll in, wave the keys at the desk, and then let themselves into your room.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 29 November, 2023, 07:18:07 pm
There’s a lot to be said for big clunky keyrings with the room number heavily engraved I large friendly fonts.

I used to stay quite frequently in one of the big hotels in Bloomsbury, London, where the room keys were attached to metal rod about 40cm long - making it rather difficult to leave the building with the key.

To my shame I have a heavy brass key fob for my house keys - purloined from a hotel in the Loire Valley in 1978!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 29 November, 2023, 07:21:02 pm


Key cards aren't always a better option. I've stayed in one hotel where we discovered that the key cards opened every door. Not just your room.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 November, 2023, 09:40:15 pm
There’s a lot to be said for big clunky keyrings with the room number heavily engraved I large friendly fonts.

I used to stay quite frequently in one of the big hotels in Bloomsbury, London, where the room keys were attached to metal rod about 40cm long - making it rather difficult to leave the building with the key.

To my shame I have a heavy brass key fob for my house keys - purloined from a hotel in the Loire Valley in 1978!

Stayed in one in Falkirk like that, OK until you want to go for a run and decide whether better to carry it with you or leave it at the reception and then present yourself in a post run dishevelment to ask for it back
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 29 November, 2023, 09:56:18 pm
There’s a lot to be said for big clunky keyrings with the room number heavily engraved I large friendly fonts.

I used to stay quite frequently in one of the big hotels in Bloomsbury, London, where the room keys were attached to metal rod about 40cm long - making it rather difficult to leave the building with the key.

To my shame I have a heavy brass key fob for my house keys - purloined from a hotel in the Loire Valley in 1978!

Stayed in one in Falkirk like that, OK until you want to go for a run and decide whether better to carry it with you or leave it at the reception and then present yourself in a post run dishevelment to ask for it back
You deserve all the ridicule you kno doubt received if you went running at such northerly latitudes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 29 November, 2023, 11:13:51 pm
I've run much further north than that, Hammerfest in late November

Furthest south, probably Christchurch (the one in NZ, not Sussex)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 30 November, 2023, 03:49:47 pm
I've run much further north than that, Hammerfest in late November

Furthest south, probably Christchurch (the one in NZ, not Sussex)

Dorset for the non-divs amongst us.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 December, 2023, 01:23:15 pm
Got most of the way to Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles just now before realising I'd left my wallet at home.

Currently thawing out fingers before trying again, with both wallet and long-sleeved gloves.

Edit: and now it’s bastard raining  >:(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Steph on 04 December, 2023, 03:44:51 pm
In 1985 I bought a sound system: twin cassette decks, radio, turntable and the then-new CD player. I normally have R3 on all day when at home, and two days ago it stopped working.

'Arse', I thought. 'Well, had a good life!'

This morning, while twiddling the dial trying to find a working station, I realised I had accidentally switched it from FM to LW.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 04 December, 2023, 06:39:07 pm
I did similar. We have 2 led uplighters in our lounge. One of them suddenly stopped being properly bright. The hat was a few weeks ago and I was getting hassle about replacing it. Last night I suddenly thought “what happens if I hold the on/off button?” 
Lo and behold, full light is restored!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 December, 2023, 07:43:35 pm
We were set to replace the hi-fi amplifier at Fort Larrington until it was discovered that Janet the Cleaner had dusted it so vigorously that the input selector was now pointed at “Phono” so natch it wouldn’t channel R3 to the squeakers.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: orienteer on 04 December, 2023, 09:26:54 pm
Got most of the way to Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles just now before realising I'd left my wallet at home.

Currently thawing out fingers before trying again, with both wallet and long-sleeved gloves.

Edit: and now it’s bastard raining  >:(

No smartphone with a wallet?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 December, 2023, 12:53:31 am
Got most of the way to Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles just now before realising I'd left my wallet at home.

Currently thawing out fingers before trying again, with both wallet and long-sleeved gloves.

Edit: and now it’s bastard raining  >:(

No smartphone with a wallet?

(Roffles)

No.  And while the wallet with payment cards in was on the kitchen table, the phone without payment wossnames was on, er, the coffee table in the Great Hall.  Because I'm one of the vanishingly few people who doesn’t feel the need to have a phone with them at all times.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 December, 2023, 08:48:55 am
Both MrsC and I.

Neither of us thought to check when dog's topup vaccinations were due (I really blame MrsC, since she took him for his original shots).

We need to put him in kennels for xmas. One teeny tiny problem; vaccinations have run out and the vets are so busy they can't fit him in until Jan 15th!

Going to have to take the bloody animal with us.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 December, 2023, 06:15:17 pm
Both MrsC and I.

Neither of us thought to check when dog's topup vaccinations were due (I really blame MrsC, since she took him for his original shots).

We need to put him in kennels for xmas. One teeny tiny problem; vaccinations have run out and the vets are so busy they can't fit him in until Jan 15th!

Going to have to take the bloody animal with us.

Last year we were told by our vet there was a shortage of (feline) vaccines and ours weren't getting done in 12m  but as long as it was by 15 it would be fine (which I checked with our cattery owner and she was fine with) so you might want to check with your kennels if they can be flexible.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 06 December, 2023, 08:04:00 pm
For cats, there's a month or so leeway on the vaccinations, ours were exempted as we didn't get around to getting them jabbed before our last holiday (mostly because we booked it two days before we left).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 December, 2023, 08:26:01 am
Both MrsC and I.

Neither of us thought to check when dog's topup vaccinations were due (I really blame MrsC, since she took him for his original shots).

We need to put him in kennels for xmas. One teeny tiny problem; vaccinations have run out and the vets are so busy they can't fit him in until Jan 15th!

Going to have to take the bloody animal with us.

Last year we were told by our vet there was a shortage of (feline) vaccines and ours weren't getting done in 12m  but as long as it was by 15 it would be fine (which I checked with our cattery owner and she was fine with) so you might want to check with your kennels if they can be flexible.
Sadly, we are outside the 15months.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 07 December, 2023, 10:18:43 am
Both MrsC and I.

Neither of us thought to check when dog's topup vaccinations were due (I really blame MrsC, since she took him for his original shots).

We need to put him in kennels for xmas. One teeny tiny problem; vaccinations have run out and the vets are so busy they can't fit him in until Jan 15th!

Going to have to take the bloody animal with us.

Last year we were told by our vet there was a shortage of (feline) vaccines and ours weren't getting done in 12m  but as long as it was by 15 it would be fine (which I checked with our cattery owner and she was fine with) so you might want to check with your kennels if they can be flexible.
Sadly, we are outside the 15months.

You know that rant about writing things on calendars.....

IGMC.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 December, 2023, 11:41:10 am
Both MrsC and I.

Neither of us thought to check when dog's topup vaccinations were due (I really blame MrsC, since she took him for his original shots).

We need to put him in kennels for xmas. One teeny tiny problem; vaccinations have run out and the vets are so busy they can't fit him in until Jan 15th!

Going to have to take the bloody animal with us.

Last year we were told by our vet there was a shortage of (feline) vaccines and ours weren't getting done in 12m  but as long as it was by 15 it would be fine (which I checked with our cattery owner and she was fine with) so you might want to check with your kennels if they can be flexible.
Sadly, we are outside the 15months.

You know that rant about writing things on calendars.....

IGMC.
yes, well, maybe it isn't a coincidence that the person responsible for the vaccinations (and forgetting about the topup) is also the same person who was going to just spout a list of dates at me (without writing them down).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 13 December, 2023, 11:11:14 am
I buy my ticket for the commute using the Southeastern trains phone app. It's really easy and convenient - I can leave the buying until the last minute and use Apple pay so it's just a quick double-click at the checkout to make the payment, no faffing with entering card details.

This morning, I accidentally selected a single ticket rather than a return but fortunately noticed before paying so went back and started again.

It was only once I'd clicked to pay that I noticed the price was about double what I was expecting to pay, but it was already too late to stop the payment going through.

What I'd done was forget to remove the erroneous single ticket from my basket. (The price of a single is only about a pound less than the return, which is nuts but that's a rant for another thread.)

Argh! I can claim a refund on the erroneous ticket but there's a £10 admin fee.

Note to self: buy your ticket the day before in future, don't leave it until you're just about to set off, when you're a) in a tizz because you overslept this morning and thus rushing to get out of the house in time, and b) still bleary-eyed because the morning coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 13 December, 2023, 03:34:10 pm
Me, yesterday.  Why did I wait until after school chuck out to pick up my prescription? Roads - full. Patience on display - nil.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 13 December, 2023, 04:05:26 pm
Me, yesterday.  Why did I wait until after school chuck out to pick up my prescription? Roads - full. Patience on display - nil.

I did exactly the same a couple of weeks ago. Absolute bloody nightmare. I would have cycled into town but my I'd forgotten to charge up the battery and CBA to ride a non-assisted bike so drove. Stupid mistake.

Having not been a parent of a school-age child for many years and usually being at my desk at that time, I tend to forget what the roads can be like.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 December, 2023, 11:12:05 am
I would have cycled into town but my I'd forgotten to charge up the battery and CBA to ride a non-assisted bike so drove.
What is this? The audaxing legend, former cycling journo of great renown and time triallist of minor anecdote, Citoyen, sometime known as Smudge (or was it Splodge?), reduced to riding an electrically assisted pedal cycle? Lo! How the mighty are fallen! Hark! At the lamentations of F.T. Bidlake, Henri Desgranges and Vecchio Joe! The end of times and the end of time itself is upon us, and the Great Gods of the Big Ring and the Fixed Cog shall rain down upon us a plague of thorns!

(I'm in no position to criticise as it's months since I've ridden more than about two miles.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 14 December, 2023, 11:31:14 am
I don't recognise this person you're describing! (I could hardly be considered an audaxing legend with barely a couple of SRs to my name - more of an audaxing myth.)

Anyway, the e-bike is so convenient for those short errands and the commute. It's about using a bike as transport rather than for leisure/fitness/sport purposes. Plus ICBA to get one of the other bikes out of the garage.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 December, 2023, 08:02:28 pm
Bike as transport is something I'm very much in favour of. And I'll admit to sometimes wishing I could justify an e-cargo bike (or cargo e-bike, I suppose, as the bike is electric not the cargo) but I really don't need one, don't have anywhere to store one and can't afford one.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 15 December, 2023, 02:41:50 pm
a cargo bike is on my wish list when we move back to our own home and I am retired as it will enable me to get to a really good supermarket without using the car.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 15 December, 2023, 04:19:14 pm
Did a bunch of fiddling with SQR blocks etc. then looked in my records from last year and that I'd already tried it and it didn't work.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 15 December, 2023, 06:12:49 pm
a cargo bike is on my wish list when we move back to our own home and I am retired as it will enable me to get to a really good supermarket without using the car.

+1

My e-bike was a c2w purchase (and actually used for commuting!) but finances preclude a cargo bike at the moment.

(I would trade in the car for a cargo bike except for the hurdle of convincing my wife it would be a good idea.)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 18 December, 2023, 07:03:53 pm
An errand on Saturday necessitated the use of my bar bag, which in my case I could not find, neither in the Right Cupboard, the Other Cupboards nor the SEECRIT Buknker.

Replay when I last had it. Ooh, the weekend before. What did I do that weekend? Think some more. Scout thing Sunday afternoon by car. Not that.  Coffee in town. Possibly. Ring cafe. No sign. What else did I do? Ah yes, visit to a  microbrewery , tasting of wares for the use of. On bike. I only had three pints, but I nearly forgot my coat as I left, having to go back after 20metres. I suspect I left it there. Maybe. Ring the brewery , but they aintent seen it. Arse.
This evening I looked in the Right Cupboard for a small rucsac, as I'd lost my barbag,  noted above.  But what is this under the rucsac? It is the barbag, that once was lost but now is found.

Five minutes later a lost glove miraculously appeared in the Bike Clothing Cupboard.

Boy Looking FTW.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 18 December, 2023, 07:09:07 pm
An errand on Saturday necessitated the use of my bar bag, which in my case I could not find, neither in the Right Cupboard, the Other Cupboards nor the SEECRIT Buknker.

Replay when I last had it. Ooh, the weekend before. What did I do that weekend? Think some more. Scout thing Sunday afternoon by car. Not that.  Coffee in town. Possibly. Ring cafe. No sign. What else did I do? Ah yes, visit to a  microbrewery , tasting of wares for the use of. On bike. I only had three pints, but I nearly forgot my coat as I left, having to go back after 20metres. I suspect I left it there. Maybe. Ring the brewery , but they aintent seen it. Arse.
This evening I looked in the Right Cupboard for a small rucsac, as I'd lost my barbag,  noted above.  But what is this under the rucsac? It is the barbag, that once was lost but now is found.

Five minutes later a lost glove miraculously appeared in the Bike Clothing Cupboard.

Boy Looking FTW.
Is it your adult guardian's day off?  :P
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 18 December, 2023, 07:41:15 pm


Note to self. Kettle works better if you plug it in...

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 21 December, 2023, 11:13:14 am
I bought a nice wall map to go on the wall behind my desk.   I didn't pay too much attention to the measurements.  The monitor will block out the bottom half.   I'll need a hanging kit as well,  I doubt blu tack will be up to the job.


https://www.stanfords.co.uk/British-Isles-Physical-Panoramic-Wall-Map_4260030058242
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 December, 2023, 06:16:59 pm
Finestre, the Demon of Such Things, managed to delete every .sii file from an entire directory tree.  These are pretty fundamental to Making Shit Work.  Backups will only go so far, because I've done quite a lot of Stuffs since this morning’s finished.

Bah!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 21 December, 2023, 06:57:06 pm
She merely believes a tidy drive is a nice drive.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 23 December, 2023, 05:22:41 pm
Put a brand-new pair of merino socks into the ordinary wash. Eejit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 24 December, 2023, 12:40:06 pm
Divery part 1):
Started the de-calcing process on our coffee filter machine while there was still coffee in it. Grabbed the jug out and poured its contents into a mug. Tasted the mug, tasted weird, almost sweet.
Poured all the coffee away.
Drank a lot of water and hoped that I hadn't ingested enough of whatever-it-was to make me ill.

Divery part 2)
I read the blurb on the bottle of de-calcing stuff, and there wasn't anything about what you should do if you swallow some, just about not getting it on your skin or breathing in the fumes.* After a bit my husband spotted that the blurb said it had citric acid in it, which didn't sound too bad. After a bit I plucked up the courage to google citric acid.
...
Citric acid is edible. It's the stuff you get in citrus fruits, obviously.
Panic over.

* this should have been a clue. Also I guess they wouldn't let you put anything really poisonous into a machine that makes something you are going to ingest...

Divery part 3)
I made my husband get chestnuts for the stuffing. I have now finished making the stuffing and have not used the chestnuts. I must have been looking at a different recipe at some point.
[EDIT] to add part 3.5: the chestnuts were in the recipe, just when I copied them from the web page to a piece of paper for ease of use, I missed them off the copy...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Canardly on 02 January, 2024, 11:03:53 pm
Ordered a Fosi mini amp via Ali on Boxing day. It is now in the UK and has been for a few days (impressed) but has not been delivered as the address is 'incorrect'. Somehow I have managed not to include the street and house No. Doh! Now edited, so hoping.....Why the delivery agent has not contacted me by phone/message, I do not know.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 03 January, 2024, 09:01:13 am
Packed for my commute to this underheated office.
Thought I'd put in a black thermal baselayer, turns out it's a (grubby) T shirt.

I'm bloomin freezing.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 03 January, 2024, 06:59:38 pm
I dropped the biggest of my nesting lidded non slip mixing bowls (wot I use for dough) and broke the thing didn't I?

Oh well, I'll buy a new one. Ha. You wouldn't think it would be so difficult to get all 3 out of plastic, non slip and lidded.
Pretty much identical to this which is now discontinued, bah. https://www.lakeland.co.uk/12869/3-lakeland-plastic-nesting-mixing-bowls-1l-2l-and-4l-set-with-lids
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 03 January, 2024, 07:13:54 pm
I dropped the biggest of my nesting lidded non slip mixing bowls (wot I use for dough) and broke the thing didn't I?

Oh well, I'll buy a new one. Ha. You wouldn't think it would be so difficult to get all 3 out of plastic, non slip and lidded.
Pretty much identical to this which is now discontinued, bah. https://www.lakeland.co.uk/12869/3-lakeland-plastic-nesting-mixing-bowls-1l-2l-and-4l-set-with-lids
http://tinyurl.com/mwebms4f
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 03 January, 2024, 08:56:13 pm
Thanks Jurek, I'd seen them but they're too small, it was the 4L bowl I borked. I found some Danish design job (Rosti Mepal) on sale for a tenner so hopefully that'll do the job, even though it won't match.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 January, 2024, 08:20:06 am
We have a set of SS mixing bowls, all with lids and non-slip silicone base.

Absolutely love them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 January, 2024, 12:58:00 pm
Too noisy.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 04 January, 2024, 01:34:00 pm
What do you use the lids for? I can't think of any occasion I've needed a lid on a mixing bowl. If I'm keeping something in it I usually need to cover the surface of whatever it is, to avoid skin/drying out.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 January, 2024, 01:39:29 pm
How about this?

https://www.google.com/search?q=tupperware+4l+lidded+bowl&rlz=1C1GCEU_enGB984GB984&oq=tupperware+4l+lidded+&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgEECEYoAEyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQIRigATIHCAIQIRigATIHCAMQIRigATIHCAQQIRigATIHCAUQIRigAdIBCTEyNjk2ajBqN6gCALACAA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 January, 2024, 01:40:52 pm
What do you use the lids for? I can't think of any occasion I've needed a lid on a mixing bowl. If I'm keeping something in it I usually need to cover the surface of whatever it is, to avoid skin/drying out.
Same here. For proving my Tragic Hipster sour dough, I give a light spray of water and cover the bowl with a bit of muslin-ish material*

Cling film has been used for covering other things in the past, butnow I'm the proud owner of some beeswax covering stuffs.

*Cheaper IME in the baby department of your favourite supermarket than in www.Tragic_Hipster_SourDough.com
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 January, 2024, 01:53:22 pm
Mum used a lidded tupperware for the making of steak and kidney puddings.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 January, 2024, 01:57:33 pm
Mum used a lidded tupperware for the making of steak and kidney puddings.

Ooh. Steak & kidney pud. There's a good idea.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 04 January, 2024, 02:08:25 pm
Foil greaseproof paper and string for that here.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 January, 2024, 03:23:04 pm
Foil greaseproof paper and string for that here.
For authenticity, I  use the same bit of special string, which lives in the kitchen drawer,every time.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 January, 2024, 03:31:09 pm
Foil greaseproof paper and string for that here.

She was a child of the '20's. Tupperware was a la mode in the '70's. String amd muslin were reserved for spotted dick.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 04 January, 2024, 03:38:18 pm
Foil greaseproof paper and string for that here.
For authenticity, I  use the same bit of special string, which lives in the kitchen drawer,every time.
I used to carry a piece of string in my wallet.
It was 22cm in length.
If ever anyone asked the question 'How long is a piece of string?' I was able to tell them, in addition to showing them the evidence.
I'm here all week.
Do try the veal.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 January, 2024, 04:34:39 pm
What do you use the lids for? I can't think of any occasion I've needed a lid on a mixing bowl. If I'm keeping something in it I usually need to cover the surface of whatever it is, to avoid skin/drying out.
They are just all-round useful.
Prepping a load of veg for cooking later? Lid on, in the fridge.
Etc
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Bluebottle on 04 January, 2024, 06:21:39 pm
Was meant to be working from home. Could not focus. Popped into work last thing to check for any leaks (it is coming down like an oppressive government at the moment). Promptly left work with my keys dangling in the lab door (I think/hope).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 January, 2024, 08:31:52 pm
I use the lids for overnight proving in the fridge.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 January, 2024, 07:55:21 am
I use the lids for overnight proving in the fridge.

A floater in my eye converted the L into a K.  :o
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: L CC on 05 January, 2024, 01:43:45 pm
What do you use the lids for? I can't think of any occasion I've needed a lid on a mixing bowl. If I'm keeping something in it I usually need to cover the surface of whatever it is, to avoid skin/drying out.
They are just all-round useful.
Prepping a load of veg for cooking later? Lid on, in the fridge.
Etc
In those circs, bowl in fridge. No lid required.

I use the lids for overnight proving in the fridge.
I would use a teatowel on a bowl. If I made bread. Which I don't. Doesn't it need to breathe?

I think they'd end up a grubby pile in the very back of a cupboard. Like a lot of my stuff.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 05 January, 2024, 02:49:27 pm
I use the lids for overnight proving in the fridge.
I would use a teatowel on a bowl. If I made bread. Which I don't. Doesn't it need to breathe?

I find keeping stuff in the fridge uncovered is a good way to make it dry out very quickly, so I would also use an airtight cover for proving dough overnight in the fridge.

I don't know how much practical difference it actually makes, tbh.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 January, 2024, 04:28:06 pm
What do you use the lids for? I can't think of any occasion I've needed a lid on a mixing bowl. If I'm keeping something in it I usually need to cover the surface of whatever it is, to avoid skin/drying out.
They are just all-round useful.
Prepping a load of veg for cooking later? Lid on, in the fridge.
Etc

Tossing prawns in potato starch prior to deep frying.  Much tidier with a lid on.

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 05 January, 2024, 05:32:35 pm
I have a bad back. I find Deep Heat is very soothing, and have some in a roll on bottle which is easy to rub on.
Senior moment - I mistook it for a roll on deodorant. Cue toasty armpits all day.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 07 January, 2024, 08:43:45 am
Two weeks ago I put the trap camera out.  Took it again & put the flatteries batteries on charge.  Strange - no blinken lights (meaning charging)
Put the SD card in the 'puter - hmmm no files dated Dec or Jan.  Did I forget to set the date?

<fx>Clang!</fx> as the penny drops.

Oh I didn't did I?  Checks power switch.  Yep, I didn't switch it on.

Muppet.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 January, 2024, 04:39:43 pm
So after an elderly NAS drive got killed utterly to DETH by a one-second power hiccup the other day Mr Larrington has been busy rebuilding divers archives of Useful Stuffs.  But soft!  Why is this 'ere archive replete with files from completely the wrong directory tree?

Bollocksbollocksbollocks!  Roll back two versions, rebuild archive from scratch, roll forward.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 January, 2024, 07:20:58 pm
If you frob the wrong buttons on your combination microwave/grill/oven you get some interesting noises and pretty fireworks if your dinner is in a foil wossname and you start nuking it.

DAMHIKT.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 January, 2024, 01:43:31 pm
I could say that putting my jumper on back to front was a deliberate ploy to keep the chilly winter winds of E17 out of the chestal area while running errands on the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle.

The more mundane fact of the matter is…
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: HTFB on 13 January, 2024, 05:03:43 pm
Oxfam in the village recently sold a very nice pair of grey trousers which just match my office suit. My wardrobe contains a very nice pair of barely-worn grey trousers which no longer fit me.

Oops.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 January, 2024, 03:33:30 pm
Frying duck breast for lunch, skin down in the pan to melt out the fat and turn marinade + skin into delicious crispiness.  This takes a few minutes so went back to chopping veg.  Only instead of pan being on medium-hot electric plate as the recipe required it was on the gas burner I usually use for the wok.

...Can this be smoke???

Ever had blackened duck à la Paul Prudhomme?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: rafletcher on 14 January, 2024, 03:45:55 pm
I hear carbon is good for the digestion. Not to tempt fate, as we’re having duck breast tomorrow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: spesh on 14 January, 2024, 04:45:48 pm
I hear carbon is good for the digestion. Not to tempt fate, as we’re having duck breast tomorrow.

Indeed.

Quote
Charcoal biscuits were first made in England in the early 19th century as an antidote to flatulence and stomach trouble. The Retrospect of Practical Medicine and Surgery, a medical text published in 1856, recommends charcoal biscuits for gastric problems, saying each biscuit contained ten grains (648 mg) of charcoal. Vegetable Charcoal: Its Medicinal and Economic Properties with Practical Remarks on Its Use in Chronic Affections of the Stomach and Bowels, published in 1857, recommends charcoal biscuits as an excellent method of administering charcoal to children.

Contemporary forms
In modern times charcoal biscuits are made in the form of crackers to accompany cheeses. The biscuits have a slight hint of charcoal taste that is described by some as pleasing. The biscuits have also been marketed as a pet care product to control flatulence in pets, and as aids to digestion or stomach problems in humans
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charcoal_biscuit

<ObligDiscworld>

Bear in mind that their consumption after any repast involving Wow-Wow Sauce (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow-Wow_sauce) is strongly deprecated. ;)

Quote from: Reaper Man
Wow-Wow Sauce, a mixture of mature scumble, pickled cucumbers, capers, mustard, mangoes, figs, grated wahooni, anchovy essence, asafoetida and, significantly, sulphur and saltpetre for added potency. Ridcully inherited the formula from his uncle who, after half a pint of sauce on a big meal one evening, had a charcoal biscuit to settle his stomach, lit his pipe and disappeared in mysterious circumstances, although his shoes were found on the roof the following summer.

</ObligDiscworld>
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 14 January, 2024, 04:46:36 pm
I hear carbon is good for the digestion. Not to tempt fate, as we’re having duck breast tomorrow.

This is what I was aiming at:

https://youtu.be/8vQj4Bnodk4?si=dJxcdFR8zO7Pstoh
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 January, 2024, 04:38:24 pm
Note to self: when you switch the boiler off at the mains in order to avoid being fused to the National Grid when furtling with the innards of the thermostat it is a Good Idea to switch the bloody thing back on when you’ve put it all back together again.  That way the Great Hall of Larrington Towers will not have a temperature akin to a a walk-in freezer or the airside smoking room at Hartsfield-Jackson airport  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 19 January, 2024, 11:10:36 am
I've just emptied the tumble dryer and wondered what on earth the crumpled piece of cardboard like thing was.
Bugger. You're not supposed to tumble dry Damart thermal vests.  :-[
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 20 January, 2024, 03:27:59 pm
I've just emptied the tumble dryer and wondered what on earth the crumpled piece of cardboard like thing was.
Bugger. You're not supposed to tumble dry Damart thermal vests.  :-[

Nor Double Force longs  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jayjay on 20 January, 2024, 03:32:56 pm
Which reminds me, we hardy cyclists at work take turns to change togs in the small shower room. Conscious of the next bod waiting outside, I hurried into the winter longs - and found them to be inside out - duh. I struggled out of them (not wanting to displace the socks) and re-donned them. Inside-out once more.
Yes, third time was satisfactory.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 20 January, 2024, 07:35:33 pm
USB longs?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 20 January, 2024, 09:13:26 pm
Which reminds me, we hardy cyclists at work take turns to change togs in the small shower room. Conscious of the next bod waiting outside, I hurried into the winter longs - and found them to be inside out - duh. I struggled out of them (not wanting to displace the socks) and re-donned them. Inside-out once more.
Yes, third time was satisfactory.
Clearly not a product of school changing rooms and communal showers post rugby. I turn face to wall but otherwise it is a case all boys together
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 January, 2024, 08:48:01 am
Which reminds me, we hardy cyclists at work take turns to change togs in the small shower room. Conscious of the next bod waiting outside, I hurried into the winter longs - and found them to be inside out - duh. I struggled out of them (not wanting to displace the socks) and re-donned them. Inside-out once more.
Yes, third time was satisfactory.
Clearly not a product of school changing rooms and communal showers post rugby. I turn face to wall but otherwise it is a case all boys together

After a cold, wet ride years ago I needed to change into dry togs for the pasta & meatballs laid on by the organizer.  The downstairs loos being beset I did so behind the open door of my car, then realized that anyone looking out of the front windows of the house across the road could have seen every detail through the car windows.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 21 January, 2024, 02:40:14 pm
For the love of God, will someone tell me where I put the car key down when I got home on Tuesday evening?

And while we’re at it, where are my other pair of glasses (the ones that don’t have a broken nose piece)?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 January, 2024, 02:53:46 pm
For the love of God, will someone tell me where I put the car key down when I got home on Tuesday evening?

And while we’re at it, where are my other pair of glasses (the ones that don’t have a broken nose piece)?

Your glasses are next to the car keys

HTH
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2024, 03:29:05 pm
USB longs?
Someone needs to invent Type C longs to avoid this problem.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 21 January, 2024, 03:46:57 pm
For the love of God, will someone tell me where I put the car key down when I got home on Tuesday evening?

And while we’re at it, where are my other pair of glasses (the ones that don’t have a broken nose piece)?

Your glasses are next to the car keys

HTH

You’re probably right although I the glasses several days before I lost the car key.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: Ham on 21 January, 2024, 07:08:52 pm
For the love of God, will someone tell me where I put the car key down when I got home on Tuesday evening?

And while we’re at it, where are my other pair of glasses (the ones that don’t have a broken nose piece)?

This is where Goggles4u (with 75% discount) or selectspecs come into their own. With pairs of prescription glasses at around £5 you increase the number of pairs, training yourself and your family to accept the style, in an (it has to be said, vain) attempt to get the probability of finding a pair at any given time to approximate 1.0.
Title: Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
Post by: citoyen on 21 January, 2024, 09:57:00 pm
Indeed, I’d already independently come to the realisation that I should consider glasses as consumables and not spend lots of money on fancy varifocals.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ian on 22 January, 2024, 08:33:12 pm
One benefit of a -7 prescription is that it's hard to misplace one's glasses. The smack as you walk into the wall is a good reminder of your myopic ineptitude.


Of course, when you inadvertently put the glasses on when you've got contact lenses in, the result is terrifying, you can see beyond space and time and into the 11th dimension.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: SoreTween on 24 January, 2024, 07:58:39 pm
Two of these steps were executed perfectly....

Can you see the flaw?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 January, 2024, 02:40:02 pm
Last week we had lovely snow. I went for a walk on the headland. Thigh deep down one slope. Couldn't slide down it, so I settled for rolling. About 10ft down and I realised that was a seriously bad idea, world was spinning madly. Stopped and laid on snow for a bit.

Yup, I've retriggered my migraine problem again. Only one nasty bought so far (had to lie in dark room all yesterday afternoon).

Hopefully this will gradually go as long as I'm careful.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 28 January, 2024, 05:55:45 pm
Bugger! Vertigo/migraines are rubbish, hope you can keep yours from escalating again and back to behaving.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 28 January, 2024, 07:35:40 pm
Made an off-by-one error in a config file and accidentally deleted all our off-site backups.  It'll take about 3 days to rebuild.

If everyone could refrain from nuking Birmingham until the end of the week, that would be helpful, thanks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Basil on 28 January, 2024, 07:56:06 pm

If everyone could refrain from nuking Birmingham until the end of the week, that would be helpful, thanks.

Oh. Damn.

*Looks at Sheffield*
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 28 January, 2024, 11:13:17 pm
Made an off-by-one error in a config file and accidentally deleted all our off-site backups.  It'll take about 3 days to rebuild.

If everyone could refrain from nuking Birmingham until the end of the week, that would be helpful, thanks.
Would anyone notice if they didn’t ? I mean other than you of course.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: fimm on 02 February, 2024, 10:17:10 am
I should know by now not to take to the cyclepaths in Livingston without careful advanced planning.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Diver300 on 02 February, 2024, 02:20:42 pm
The lack of signal on the oscilloscope was due to the signal lead being plugged into the other oscilloscope.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 02 February, 2024, 02:52:20 pm
<splort!>

POTD there ^^^^.

Anyway: I came home the other day and MrsT says "your tights are inside out".
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 04 February, 2024, 04:11:02 pm
Just put a keto-snack in my pocket while carrying things up the stairs, forgetting that these jeans have a hole that I keep failing to fix.  So now I can confirm that ferret-legging a Mini Babybel is unpleasantly cold.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 04 February, 2024, 05:01:11 pm
Around Christmas time I moved the Home Assistant controller onto a VM on my home server, rather than being a Pi 4. There was some odd instances of not being able to connect to it, usually from our mobiles, that I couldn't quite put my finger on.
And sometimes the mobiles wouldn't hop on to the home wifi, but sit on mobile data complaining about a bad password. I didn't think these were related.

Anyway, I started looking at the living room access point (a Mikrotik thing, so very powerful but relatively easy to mess up), to check the configuration and passwords to figure out what was going on with the mobiles. Turns out when I put that in, I'd made a typo in the IP address and put it into a range I use for server stuff, rather than the networking stuff. Which was fine, until I'd put the new instance of Home Assistant on to the server, and gave it the next "free" IP, which happened to be the same as the one being used by the access point. Hence weird issues, depending upon which of the three access points in the house the mobile device connected to.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 05 February, 2024, 10:28:02 pm
A couple of weeks ago I removed my front and rear lights from the Bloo Bike, which lives in the unheated, slightly damp, splendour of the SEECRIT BUNKER, to save them from a premature corroded death.
I put them in a Safe Place for future use.

A couple of days ago I spotted one of them in An Unusual Location. At the time I thought, Ooh, that's an Unusual Location and got on with what I was doing.

Last night, in preparation for today's commute I looked for them.  Could I recall the Safe Place or the Unusual Location? Could I bollocks.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 06 February, 2024, 07:08:19 am
Tell me if you spot my varus insole when you're looking for them.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Regulator on 06 February, 2024, 11:48:55 am
A couple of weeks ago I removed my front and rear lights from the Bloo Bike, which lives in the unheated, slightly damp, splendour of the SEECRIT BUNKER, to save them from a premature corroded death.
I put them in a Safe Place for future use.

A couple of days ago I spotted one of them in An Unusual Location. At the time I thought, Ooh, that's an Unusual Location and got on with what I was doing.

Last night, in preparation for today's commute I looked for them.  Could I recall the Safe Place or the Unusual Location? Could I bollocks.


They're next to the whatchamacallit, on top of the whojamaflip, just below the thingemybob...

HTH!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 February, 2024, 09:08:31 pm
A couple of weeks ago I removed my front and rear lights from the Bloo Bike, which lives in the unheated, slightly damp, splendour of the SEECRIT BUNKER, to save them from a premature corroded death.
I put them in a Safe Place for future use.

A couple of days ago I spotted one of them in An Unusual Location. At the time I thought, Ooh, that's an Unusual Location and got on with what I was doing.

Last night, in preparation for today's commute I looked for them.  Could I recall the Safe Place or the Unusual Location? Could I bollocks.
Update: Visiting a client office today to give a presentation, I rummaged in my work back pack to dig out some stuffs. I encounter the rear light. Further rummaging reveals the front light. I think I must have put them in there to free up my hands when moving assorted crap from the car.

They once were lost, but now are found.
Let joy be unconfined.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 07 February, 2024, 09:22:55 pm
I spent some quality time looking for some DIN connectors[1] that I'd put aside for next time barakta had hip surgery.  Unfortunately, I've since had a tidy-up of my electronics component storage and therefore couldn't find them in a) the "Audio connectors" box, 2) the "Misc connectors" box  or  iii) any of the boxes for small components that don't warrant their own box.

In the process, I took the opportunity to move some spare reed switches from the "Stuff pertaining to the alerting system" box to the "Switches" box, where I came across the collection of tactile switches in assorted (invariably wrong) sizes.  This functioned as a Clue, so I went to check the little component drawer where the tacticle switches used to live, and discovered a rich vein of Germany's worst a few rows down.    :thumbsup:


[1] To extend the cable of the titling bed controls, which is one of those curly cables that's got almost no elasticity to speak of, and therefore springs itself to the floor as soon as you fail to maintain a grip on it.  It's a standard 5-pin DIN, but the bastards used the shell of the connector for one of the conductors, so the off-the-shelf MIDI extension cable I bought for the purpose spectacularly failed to work.  I'd ordered some appropriately metal plugs last time, but with barakta discharging herself from hospital with two hours notice, I'd bodged it up with a Stanley knife and lashings of insulation tape and forgotten about it.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 07 February, 2024, 09:23:34 pm
A couple of weeks ago I removed my front and rear lights from the Bloo Bike, which lives in the unheated, slightly damp, splendour of the SEECRIT BUNKER, to save them from a premature corroded death.
I put them in a Safe Place for future use.

A couple of days ago I spotted one of them in An Unusual Location. At the time I thought, Ooh, that's an Unusual Location and got on with what I was doing.

Last night, in preparation for today's commute I looked for them.  Could I recall the Safe Place or the Unusual Location? Could I bollocks.
Update: Visiting a client office today to give a presentation, I rummaged in my work back pack to dig out some stuffs. I encounter the rear light. Further rummaging reveals the front light. I think I must have put them in there to free up my hands when moving assorted crap from the car.

They once were lost, but now are found.
Let joy be unconfined.
I feel I can breathe again.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 08 February, 2024, 10:36:20 am
Ah, reed switches. I honed my soldering iron skills as a ‘prentice some mumble mumble years ago whilst spending most of my 4 week placement in a TXE2 exchange replacing hundreds of reed switches. Those that had been used were causing a disproportionate number of faults in such exchanges because the contacts had developed a ‘stickiness’ and many of them were remaining closed when the current was removed from the windings of the actuation coil.

What fun I had.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 09 February, 2024, 09:36:33 pm


Sharp things are sharp...

Having sharpened my new block plane, I managed to cut my finger with it the first time I use it.

And of course it's so sharp I don't even notice. And I got blood all over my wood box I was making.

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 10 February, 2024, 09:47:43 am
Aye well... I managed to put the same battery on charge twice yesterday, and set out this morning on the half-empty one. Still, at least I've had a decent coffee while the damned thing has been charging.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 February, 2024, 12:51:58 pm
I inherited a bench disc sander from my late FiL. When I saw it, I thought "Why the heck would I use that?"

So, so wrong. It is brilliant.

Yesterday I wanted to sand back a butterknife handle I was making. Paper on disc was worn and clogged, so I changed it for a new pad of 40grit.

Then proceeded to treat it like the worn 240 grit.

Now have reduced thumbnail and very sore thumb.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 February, 2024, 02:26:43 am
The von Brandenburgs came round for lunch to Fort Larrington on Sunday.  Thus stocks of assorted alcohol-free BEER were laid in.  And there was still a fair bit left over afterwards.

Guess which fecking div only remembered that it was still in the fridge at Fort Larrington when he was somewhere near Potters Bar on the way back to Larrington Towers :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: sam on 13 February, 2024, 04:43:17 am
A couple of weeks ago I removed my front and rear lights from the Bloo Bike, which lives in the unheated, slightly damp, splendour of the SEECRIT BUNKER, to save them from a premature corroded death.
I put them in a Safe Place for future use.

A couple of days ago I spotted one of them in An Unusual Location. At the time I thought, Ooh, that's an Unusual Location and got on with what I was doing.

Last night, in preparation for today's commute I looked for them.  Could I recall the Safe Place or the Unusual Location? Could I bollocks.

What you need is a treasure map.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: sam on 13 February, 2024, 04:55:15 am
Ordered pricey power bank on which to run Macbook Air with failing battery (itself a dud replacement).

Arrived y'day. Looks great. Only problem is, the supplied cable (USB-C) doesn't plug into my older Air.

Ordered Apple USB-C to Magsafe cable. £49. For a cable. Behold the Apple tax. After a period of hyperventilation, bite the bullet.

About 15 minutes ago, discover this won't fit my computer either. Attempt to cancel. Too late, as it is arriving most swiftly thanks to 99p Prime trial purchased for the express purpose of ordering power bank (and possibly later of use for shipping a few other items with price too low for free delivery).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 February, 2024, 06:38:44 pm
When you leave a knife with a black plastic handle in a black cast-iron oven dish, bung it in the oven and crank it up to 200 C the result is hot, sticky and no longer much use as a knife.

Bollocksbollocksbollocks >:(

Edit:

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53533425919_791d1a3887_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2pyyNs4)
Here is a knife… (https://flic.kr/p/2pyyNs4) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Feanor on 16 February, 2024, 06:59:20 pm
The Treachery of Ovens

This is not a knife
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 16 February, 2024, 10:09:12 pm
A good effort there, Mr L  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 February, 2024, 11:27:00 pm
At least it wasn’t a nice knife Mr L  :demon:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 17 February, 2024, 07:40:25 am
You can always shove the blade into a cleft stick and go hunt mammoths in Kew Gardens.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 17 February, 2024, 09:20:31 am
You can always shove the blade into a cleft stick and go hunt mammoths in Kew Gardens.
I (almost) did that once. My Mora Clipper tumbled into a camp fire, resulting in a melted handle. One of the Scout parents is a wood-botherer of some kind (made his daughter's violin, many, many extremely sharp chisels in his sheds, that kind of thing) so kindly rehandled it with some can't-remember-what-wood. Nice looking job.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 18 February, 2024, 01:40:15 pm
You can always shove the blade into a cleft stick and go hunt mammoths in Kew Gardens.
I (almost) did that once. My Mora Clipper tumbled into a camp fire, resulting in a melted handle. One of the Scout parents is a wood-botherer of some kind (made his daughter's violin, many, many extremely sharp chisels in his sheds, that kind of thing) so kindly rehandled it with some can't-remember-what-wood. Nice looking job.

We have a number of dog-bothered knives I've been meaning to do that to for years.  Still dunno how a dog could chew the handle of a sharp cook knife all to hell without cutting itself.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 19 February, 2024, 09:40:12 am
Weather was nice on Sunday. I haven't been out on my bike since before Christmas.

Headed out for a pootle and chose a new route.

Two mistakes:
One, tailwind on way out.
Two, far far too far on unused legs. Only 60km round trip, but the last 20km I had terrible cramp in both legs and had to spin along in very low gears.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 February, 2024, 10:26:49 am
I used to make a practice of setting out with the wind behind just so that I'd have to fight to get home.  Ah, callow youth!

Meanwhile, in changing my stem just now I managed to adorn my second favourite Arran sweater with a delightfully black mix of aluminium powder and old grease.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 29 February, 2024, 05:28:21 pm
Switched off the CH last night just before I went to bed.
13.5 togs of duvet determine that I don't need it running overnight.
I don't run the heating when I get up in the morning as less than half an hour passes between the alarm going off and me leaving the house.
I get home this afternoon to find the place like a tropical greenhouse, with the first palm starting to sprout from behind the skirting board.

Turns out that I hadn't switched off last night. Only pushed the slider switch to the next detent yclept 'PROG'.
It transpires the PROG 4 was running (I don't even know what PROG 4 is as I never programme the heating) when I came home this afternoon.
 :facepalm:

Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 February, 2024, 07:30:56 pm
I believe you'll find PROG 4 is surpassed in its horror only by PROG 666 and PROG ROCK.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 March, 2024, 01:30:46 am
When taking the tablets it is important not to drop one, or more, of them in your tea :sick:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: ElyDave on 04 March, 2024, 10:42:09 pm
When they slip, veg peelers are also very adept at skinning knuckles
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 05 March, 2024, 08:32:46 am
When taking the tablets it is important not to drop one, or more, of them in your tea :sick:

Old chum of mine once found a stink bug in the bottom of her cuppa.  "Thought it was a bit acrid."
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 13 March, 2024, 05:45:48 pm
My mother’s iMac was on its last legs, so I ordered a new one for her.  I went over to set it up today. 
No Bloody Ethernet Port .  I’d forgotten they’d removed those from the base model.  Their router is so old that a wifi connection only gets 10M.  Looks like I’m going shopping for a Thunderbolt to Ethernet adapter tomorrow.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 13 March, 2024, 06:29:19 pm
Would prob be cheaper to get a new router.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 13 March, 2024, 06:40:17 pm
They also don't have thunderbolt 2, and Apple never sold a Thunderbolt 3 ethernet dongle, so your options are a USB ethernet dongle or the Thunderbolt 3 to Thunderbolt 2 adapter and the old Apple Thunderbolt 2 ethernet dongle.
 
(and pedantically none of the new iMacs come with an onboard ethernet port, but some of them come with a power brick that has one)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 13 March, 2024, 07:48:48 pm
 ???   Apple’s site says this should be compatible.


https://www.apple.com/uk/shop/product/HJKF2ZM/A/belkin-usb-c-to-gigabit-ethernet-adapter (https://www.apple.com/uk/shop/product/HJKF2ZM/A/belkin-usb-c-to-gigabit-ethernet-adapter)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 13 March, 2024, 09:30:32 pm
That's compatible, just not specifically Thunderbolt.

(which is a superfast protocol that uses the same ports as USB C. I'm overcomplicating things)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 13 March, 2024, 10:23:21 pm
No Bloody Ethernet Port

I'm anticipating an increasing amount of Bad Swears over this particular problem as it applies to ever more computing devices as the years go on.  The Devil's Radio is not a substitute!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 March, 2024, 09:19:36 am
No Bloody Ethernet Port

I'm anticipating an increasing amount of Bad Swears over this particular problem as it applies to ever more computing devices as the years go on.  The Devil's Radio is not a substitute!
I thought bluetooth was the Devil's Radio.

Remember PCMIA slots? You could plug an adapter into those. I had one that was a modem, 56Kb modem. Thought it was so flash and all. Those were the days.
(started with a 300baud modem, then a 2400. An internal 28kB one in my desktop was amazing!)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 March, 2024, 10:01:38 am
No Bloody Ethernet Port

I'm anticipating an increasing amount of Bad Swears over this particular problem as it applies to ever more computing devices as the years go on.  The Devil's Radio is not a substitute!
I thought bluetooth was the Devil's Radio.

WiFi is the Devil's Radio; Bluetooth is but the spawn of one of his imps or possibly Finistre, the Demon of Such Things.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 March, 2024, 10:14:51 am
(and pedantically none of the new iMacs come with an onboard ethernet port, but some of them come with a power brick that has one)


Yes, my own M1 machine & the one I ordered for my sister have an ethernet port in the offboard power brick.   Picture me rotating the new one around yesterday with a sense of growing realisation.....  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: MattH on 14 March, 2024, 12:52:56 pm
Remember PCMIA slots? You could plug an adapter into those. I had one that was a modem, 56Kb modem. Thought it was so flash and all. Those were the days.
(started with a 300baud modem, then a 2400. An internal 28kB one in my desktop was amazing!)


Ah yes, PCMCIA. Personal Computer Manufacturers Can't Invent Acronyms. Or Pretty Complicated, May Cause Intense Anxiety. In one job in the mid-90s, on day one I was given a copy of the standard, and asked to implement it in an FPGA and write the software to put a memory card connector onto an embedded system. I took to using the second acronym. Especially as at that point I knew almost nothing about PCMCIA, and had never used an FPGA.

But I did also have a pair of lovely 3Com PCMCIA cards - one was ethernet, the other a 56k modem. Rather than a weird connector on a short lead for connecting the RJ45 and RJ11, they had full size connectors that took up half of the card width. You could plug both cards together into a double card slot, with either one upside down, so the two connectors filled the space but sat totally within the footprint of the laptop. Brilliant piece of engineering.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: grams on 14 March, 2024, 01:47:30 pm
But I did also have a pair of lovely 3Com PCMCIA cards - one was ethernet, the other a 56k modem. Rather than a weird connector on a short lead for connecting the RJ45 and RJ11, they had full size connectors that took up half of the card width. You could plug both cards together into a double card slot, with either one upside down, so the two connectors filled the space but sat totally within the footprint of the laptop. Brilliant piece of engineering.

* nerd curiosity piqued *

Xircom RealPort2:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/173390642670
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 14 March, 2024, 02:02:55 pm
But I did also have a pair of lovely 3Com PCMCIA cards - one was ethernet, the other a 56k modem. Rather than a weird connector on a short lead for connecting the RJ45 and RJ11, they had full size connectors that took up half of the card width. You could plug both cards together into a double card slot, with either one upside down, so the two connectors filled the space but sat totally within the footprint of the laptop. Brilliant piece of engineering.

I think I've got an earlier one of those somewhere.  Ethernet and 28k8 modem on the same single-height card, with donkey-knobblers with slimline connectors.  Which was a bit like being a modern Apple user, but still better than having to remove the card (inevitably crashing Windows) to fit the laptop in a bag, which is what would happen with tedious regularity on whatever minimum-viable-Ethernet-card I had when I was a PSO.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 14 March, 2024, 04:09:20 pm
...started with a 300baud modem, then a 2400. An internal 28kB one in my desktop was amazing!

Ah, luxury. Acoustic coupler was where it was at.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 March, 2024, 04:51:06 pm
...started with a 300baud modem, then a 2400. An internal 28kB one in my desktop was amazing!

Ah, luxury. Acoustic coupler was where it was at.
Acoustic coupler? Pah, I had to use a whole different machine. A telex machine was where text messages were at and a teletype terminal was my input device to he computer. 

You tell that to the youth of today…
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Lightning Phil on 14 March, 2024, 04:55:15 pm
No Bloody Ethernet Port

I'm anticipating an increasing amount of Bad Swears over this particular problem as it applies to ever more computing devices as the years go on.  The Devil's Radio is not a substitute!
I thought bluetooth was the Devil's Radio.

Remember PCMIA slots? You could plug an adapter into those. I had one that was a modem, 56Kb modem. Thought it was so flash and all. Those were the days.
(started with a 300baud modem, then a 2400. An internal 28kB one in my desktop was amazing!)

Think our Internet school computer was 1200 baud in 1979.  Hacking into University gateways at the speed of treacle.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 March, 2024, 05:43:21 pm
No Bloody Ethernet Port

I'm anticipating an increasing amount of Bad Swears over this particular problem as it applies to ever more computing devices as the years go on.  The Devil's Radio is not a substitute!
I thought bluetooth was the Devil's Radio.

Remember PCMIA slots? You could plug an adapter into those. I had one that was a modem, 56Kb modem. Thought it was so flash and all. Those were the days.
(started with a 300baud modem, then a 2400. An internal 28kB one in my desktop was amazing!)

Think our Internet school computer was 1200 baud in 1979.  Hacking into University gateways at the speed of treacle.

1200 baud in 1979 sounds very fast.

I hated teletype machines because the op manager could see my typoes.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Jurek on 14 March, 2024, 05:48:58 pm
No Bloody Ethernet Port

I'm anticipating an increasing amount of Bad Swears over this particular problem as it applies to ever more computing devices as the years go on.  The Devil's Radio is not a substitute!
I thought bluetooth was the Devil's Radio.

Remember PCMIA slots? You could plug an adapter into those. I had one that was a modem, 56Kb modem. Thought it was so flash and all. Those were the days.
(started with a 300baud modem, then a 2400. An internal 28kB one in my desktop was amazing!)

Think our Internet school computer was 1200 baud in 1979.  Hacking into University gateways at the speed of treacle.

1200 baud in 1979 sounds very fast.

I hated teletype machines because the op manager could see my typoes.
I see what you did there  ;)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 March, 2024, 01:15:54 am
As it was bedtime and I'm able-legged, I offered to unplug the audio streamer device from the crap laptop that barakta's currently using and plug it in to charge on the shelf on the other side of the room.  Step 1 was to unplug the 3.5mm jack connecting it to the laptop.  At which point - unknown to me as I'm not conversant in its cryptic coloured-blinkenlights status display - it falls back to using its microphone as an audio source.  Just in time for me to fail to invoke the correct sequence of button-presses to turn it off and loudly complain "YOU'RE OFF; ACT LIKE IT!" (as I find myself doing to modern electronics with tedious regularity) at point blank range into the microphone that's now streaming directly into barakta's head.

She was  a) startled  and  b)  not impressed.

I blame Finistre, the Demon of Such Things.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 15 March, 2024, 01:10:06 pm
I hate the streamer's UI too, too many colours and flashing options which aren't even intuitive (green doesn't mean something good, orange doesn't means something intermediate). And the colours are different to the OtherStreamer cos they couldn't possibly have a 3.5mm jack and Devil's Other Radio (BlueTooth) in the SAME streamer, it has to be two (audiologist gave me two cos I hate wireless nonsense but it is occasionally handy).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 March, 2024, 01:58:26 pm
What are these streamers? What is their function and purpose?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 March, 2024, 02:09:21 pm
What are these streamers? What is their function and purpose?

Combination of:

a) Functional equivalent of headphones, wirelessly streaming audio from a line input or Devil's Lesser Radio device to the hearing aid.
b) Radio aid, providing a microphone that's closer to the person(s) you want to hear than the one on the hearing aid itself, which improves the SNR.

In ye olde days, (a) would take the form of a cable with a 3.5mm headphone jack on one end and a fiddly little plug on the other.  Obviously this Just Worked, so was ripe for replacement with complicated wireless solutions as soon as technology allowed it.

(b) Would take the from of a dedicated receiver unit, connected to the hearing aids either via the above cable, or an induction loop worn around the neck.  An FM (or latterly, digital) radio transmitter similar to those normally used for wireless microphones for public address or filming would provide the signal.  You may have seen barakta using one to hear me on bike rides.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 March, 2024, 02:43:21 pm
What are these streamers? What is their function and purpose?

Combination of:

a) Functional equivalent of headphones, wirelessly streaming audio from a line input or Devil's Lesser Radio device to the hearing aid.
b) Radio aid, providing a microphone that's closer to the person(s) you want to hear than the one on the hearing aid itself, which improves the SNR.

In ye olde days, (a) would take the form of a cable with a 3.5mm headphone jack on one end and a fiddly little plug on the other.  Obviously this Just Worked, so was ripe for replacement with complicated wireless solutions as soon as technology allowed it.

(b) Would take the from of a dedicated receiver unit, connected to the hearing aids either via the above cable, or an induction loop worn around the neck.  An FM (or latterly, digital) radio transmitter similar to those normally used for wireless microphones for public address or filming would provide the signal.  You may have seen barakta using one to hear me on bike rides.
So this is basically a microphone attached to you, streaming via some form or other of devil's radio to barakta's baha? Got it!
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 March, 2024, 03:42:27 pm
So this is basically a microphone attached to you, streaming via some form or other of devil's radio to barakta's baha? Got it!

Yep, though she mainly uses it to hear audio from computers and such.  Headphones not being an option.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 March, 2024, 07:41:15 pm
Tea: a lot MOAR flavoursome if you pour boiling water onto the teabags instead of into an empty mug :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 March, 2024, 09:02:29 pm
Tea: a lot MOAR flavoursome if you pour boiling water onto the teabags instead of into an empty mug :facepalm:

I can also recommend not pouring it onto the surface in front of the mug (it's been one of those days).
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: andrewc on 15 March, 2024, 09:25:32 pm
Tea: a lot MOAR flavoursome if you pour boiling water onto the teabags instead of into an empty mug :facepalm:

I can also recommend not pouring it onto the surface in front of the mug (it's been one of those days).


As long as it wasn't on your toes....... :jurek:


I can remember putting teabags in the pot,  unplugging the kettle & carefully pouring water into the sugar bowl ..  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 15 March, 2024, 09:47:23 pm
Tea: a lot MOAR flavoursome if you pour boiling water onto the teabags instead of into an empty mug :facepalm:

Ah, yes, the good old homeopathic tea  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Kim on 15 March, 2024, 09:50:48 pm
Tea: a lot MOAR flavoursome if you pour boiling water onto the teabags instead of into an empty mug :facepalm:

I can also recommend not pouring it onto the surface in front of the mug (it's been one of those days).


As long as it wasn't on your toes....... :jurek:

No, that's the bucket-emptying...
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 March, 2024, 10:57:57 pm
I’ve stopped,using streamers since I got blufang HAs. Although I had to source the streamers myself, either via access to work funding or my own pocket since retirement, I’m not entirely convinced that direct to HA via blufang is an improvement. This could be because they rely on a phone app to control them, which is mostly crap. 
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 16 March, 2024, 02:12:26 am
My view of hearing aid apps is unprintable. POS.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: TheLurker on 16 March, 2024, 09:45:35 am
The more I read this thread, the more I'm convinced that the Human Race is merely some sort of divine "Truman Show" cooked up to amuse the many & various deities.

My contribution to the ongoing farce.

Yesterday; scanning the paper templates I'd used while covering my latest toy aeroplane. First set, all as expected. Second set, a "ghost" of one from the first scan shows up.  Shut down printer, close the scanner application, try again.  Nope, still there.  Shrug and move on, other more important stuff to do and it'll probably be OK after a reboot.

Today; go to scan a couple of pages and what do I see?  The "ghost" template stuck to the lid of the photocopy/scanner. Twit.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 16 March, 2024, 09:59:34 am
Posting as a proxy for Dr Beardy who has travelled by train into Ipswich for a day of collaboration with her co author on their latest tome.

We use the same account on the app for of the local rail operators and it is my email inbox that gets all the confirmations which may have some bearing on the following.

Yesterday evening, being an organised soul, Dr B bought a return ticket for today’s travel. We’d been to the pub, and so she was a little drunk which may also have a bearing on the following.

This morning, at stupid o’clock for a Saturday, Dr B bought return ticket for today’s travel.  :facepalm:

Dr Beardy will hve discovered her error when (if) she is asked to present a ticket to get off the station  ;D
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Pingu on 16 March, 2024, 11:05:37 pm
Thank you Lurker and Beardy - both fine efforts worthy of inclusion in this thread  :)
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 18 March, 2024, 11:29:09 am
Posting as a proxy for Dr Beardy who has travelled by train into Ipswich for a day of collaboration with her co author on their latest tome.

For clarity, are you contributing for being crazy enough to go to Ipswich, willingly, or for some sort of ticket purchasing blunder?

J
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Beardy on 18 March, 2024, 09:03:48 pm
Ipswich isn’t THAT bad. Well, not everywhere it isn’t. And these days I’d rather be in Ipswich than a lot of utter towns and city’s including my former home city of Bradford which I had a soft spot for many years ago.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Auntie Helen on 19 March, 2024, 06:11:59 am
Having done a lot of visiting of Ipswich over the last few years (my mother lived in one of the outlying villages) I find it OK.

Ipswich hospital were absolutely excellent during my Mum’s final illness, too.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 March, 2024, 08:22:04 am
Committed myself to a club outing tomorrow without really looking at the circuit. It turns out to include a bunch of useless climbs including a 14% that we reach via a gravel track, and the descent takes us back 5k further along the road we deviated from to take it.  Brainless shite.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 19 March, 2024, 10:14:55 am
Committed myself to a club outing tomorrow without really looking at the circuit. It turns out to include a bunch of useless climbs including a 14% that we reach via a gravel track, and the descent takes us back 5k further along the road we deviated from to take it.  Brainless shite.
Flat route designed by Deano?
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 19 March, 2024, 11:29:17 am
Never ridden one of his. The arsehole in this instance is El Prez.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: neilrj on 19 March, 2024, 06:03:55 pm
Never ridden one of his. The arsehole in this instance is El Prez.

You don't have to go, and of course you could plan and perhaps even lead a (much better) ride.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 March, 2024, 06:08:00 pm
If you have two versions of that file, viz. one to be used in conjunction with a third-party sound mod and one not, it is wise to ensure that “spawn_ratio” is the same in both.  Thereby avoiding strange Spaignish lorries from showing up in Belgium, man! :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 20 March, 2024, 09:38:56 am
Never ridden one of his. The arsehole in this instance is El Prez.

You don't have to go, and of course you could plan and perhaps even lead a (much better) ride.

Yeah but we're good chums and anyway my days of leading rides are long past.  Not many of my age want to do 150k anyway.

And as it happens, neither can I, now.  Lifting the bike onto the workstand yesterday, I realized halfway up that I was doing it with a bent back rather than bent legs. I said to myself "got this far OK, might as well finish" so I did, and thought I'd got away with it. Nope. This morning as I got into the shower the sacroiliac that I popped out 11 years ago woke up and sent agonizing darts out all over my lower back.  Last time it took 2 months & many phizzy visits to fix.

Yrs trly,
Fecking Div  :(
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: robgul on 20 March, 2024, 04:26:06 pm
We went away on holiday on 15 Feb . . .  as we were going to be away for over a month I thought I'd implement the cables and padlocks that are fitted to the racking that stores my bikes to secure them in the garage [4 bikes on the wall on wheel hangers, top-to-tail to reduce the space they take up] - interlocked all the cables, and 4 padlocks. Sorted and secure, put keys in a safe place . . . .

Today having returned a couple of days ago I thought I'd take a bike out . . . err, keys?   An hour later after much searching - success, in the shelving that holds all my small woodworking tools.  It then started to rain. 

Oh, and I went to renew my road fund licence online to be rejected as the MOT runs out tomorrow . . great difficulty getting an appointment . . . and I even had a note in my diary to make an appointment for this week before we went away - didn't so that.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Ham on 20 March, 2024, 09:52:25 pm
Took a lesser used summer weight bike out today. Nothing that odd about that. The left of one pair and the right of another of my normal SPD shoes have apparently eloped together so I grabbed another more stifferer pair, what I knew between pedal and shoe was a combo that makes de-clipping a little more difficult than it ought to be. So, what the hell has this got to do with divvery, eh? I hear you ask? Well, experimenting, I found that it declipped easier twisting my heel in, rather than out, what a jolly wheeze! A short while later I then found out just why that method is NOT the approved way of declipping. If you can't work it out, it involves heel. ankle and spokes mixing together in a sub-optimal manner  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 March, 2024, 10:07:59 pm
I also unclip in that manner, after b0rking my left ankle falling down the stairs at a conference in Barcelona (no booze was involved), and this was the same week Michael Jackson died, so a very long time ago. I have the cleat on that side set quite weakly and mind to turn just a little to unclip.
I do have a little baldy bit on the inside heel of my bike shoes now though.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: PaulF on 20 March, 2024, 11:26:58 pm
Got to the station early so took a connecting train with a change at Reading with the hope of getting to Paddington a little earlier.

First train at reading was so full I didn’t even try. Next train I managed to cram onto, but turned out to be the one I would have originally caught but with the benefit of having a seat had I waited at my home station.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: matthew on 21 March, 2024, 12:24:46 pm
That may have had something to do with the Reading - Waterloo line being disrupted, getting turfed off the train at an earlier stop because they decided to cancel the train rather than queue to get a platform at Waterloo was not fun.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: T42 on 21 March, 2024, 12:52:57 pm
Nice new FD cable installed & adjusted, runs perfectly so chopped off the excess length and crimped on a nice little end cap.  Then realized that I'd led it over the bars instead of under. :facepalm: #redofromstart
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: citoyen on 28 March, 2024, 06:58:18 pm
Today I have been working with a client called Solape. I noticed a little too late that in one of my emails to her, I accidentally transposed the first two vowels in her name... You'll understand why this is a particular problem if you speak French. :facepalm:

I'm sure I'm not the first to do it but it is mortifying.
Title: Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
Post by: barakta on 28 March, 2024, 09:45:16 pm
Ooops.