The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[andrewc]

This is why I like email, as you can just use "Hi,"

"Ahoy!" works too

That's used by one of my xkcd://1279 doppelgangers (the poorly paid actor, not the one with the submarine allergy), so it would just muddy the waters if I were to use it.

I did a double take when I saw that name on Twitter earlier.   The I realised that _our_ Kim is not the type to get involved with mad inventors & crazy forms of transport...

[Kim]

The I realised that _our_ Kim is not the type to get involved with mad inventors & crazy forms of transport...

Of course not!



(Mike Burrows out of shot to the right...)

[Torslanda]

I've got Blepheritis in my right eye, so now have an eyelid full of antibiotic cream.  This is sub optimal for most stuff as everything is really blurred so I'm working one eyed.    I'm off touring at the weekend, the course should  finish by Sunday.  Hopefully this will clear the problem up.

You may have had this advice already so apologies if it's teaching granny etc...

Use diluted baby shampoo on cotton buds to clean the edge of your eyelids in addition to the a/b cream. The infection is caused by blocked lymph ducts between the eyelashes. Drink more water than normal and use an eye bath if you can. HTH

[Tim Hall]

When I Rule The World I shall:

1.   Introduce "how thermostats work" into stuff taught at school.

2.   And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to fuck about with the Aircon in the office.

[andrewc]

I've got Blepheritis in my right eye, so now have an eyelid full of antibiotic cream.  This is sub optimal for most stuff as everything is really blurred so I'm working one eyed.    I'm off touring at the weekend, the course should  finish by Sunday.  Hopefully this will clear the problem up.

You may have had this advice already so apologies if it's teaching granny etc...

Use diluted baby shampoo on cotton buds to clean the edge of your eyelids in addition to the a/b cream. The infection is caused by blocked lymph ducts between the eyelashes. Drink more water than normal and use an eye bath if you can. HTH

Thanks, Yes, I've been doing that & using hot compresses for a while, but it's not shifted, hence the tube of goop!

[T42]

Moles.   

[mcshroom]

When I Rule The World I shall:

1.   Introduce "how thermostats work" into stuff taught at school.

2.   And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to fuck about with the Aircon in the office.

Our building manager has given up with that, and has instead installed locked covers over the air-con controllers so no-one can change them.

[ian]

RIP sacrificial verge bollard (2014-2017). You survived the school kids and many attempts by motorists to maim and kill you. But you held your own, scratching bodywork and denting bumpers, and hopefully crushing a few school-age fingers. Plus I've made a not insignificant money from charging companies for fixing it, which I've then done myself. I'm surprisingly and reassuringly expensive.

Alas, some twunt managed to hit it so comprehensively this morning that it ripped out the concrete foundation. It seemed the driver tried to put it back. He didn't do a good job. I think I give up, there is indeed a certain pleasure from knowing that I've ruined a lot of bad drivers' days by them having to explain those dents and scratches, but equally, it's quite heavy to lug around and this time I'll have to pay a grown-up to repour a foundation re-seat it. I think it's reached the point where it's more trouble than it's worth.

I'm not holding my breath for Eurohaul to call back. That said, it might not be them, the woman who saw it thinks it was Eurohaul. Euro-something, anyway. Which isn't as helpful. I'll see if they fess up and whether I can be bothered dealing with another bunch of insurance adjusters.

[Mrs Pingu]

What you need is some cctv covering your bollard

[Kim]

When I Rule The World I shall:

1.   Introduce "how thermostats work" into stuff taught at school.

2.   And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to fuck about with the Aircon in the office.

Our building manager has given up with that, and has instead installed locked covers over the air-con controllers so no-one can change them.

Decoy thermostats.  It's the only way to be sure.

[Mrs Pingu]

When I Rule The World I shall:

1.   Introduce "how thermostats work" into stuff taught at school.

2.   And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to fuck about with the Aircon in the office.

Our building manager has given up with that, and has instead installed locked covers over the air-con controllers so no-one can change them.

Decoy thermostats.  It's the only way to be sure.

On that front, when they remodelled our office to cram more people in (who have yet to arrive a year later but should be soon) it was agreed that some sort of "air con" would be installed. We now have a box with an on/off switch and a knob that goes up to 11, but other than an increase in noise it appears to do nothing.
I have named it the homeopathic air con.

[ian]

What you need is some cctv covering your bollard

I'm not sure secretly filming local schoolchildren is quite the reputation I'm aiming for...

Actually I'm still umming and ahhing about CCTV in general, the smorgasbord of choice resulting in the usual outbreak of indecision. That said, the bollard is/was on the corner, hence its dicey fate, so not really in view as The Asbestos Palace has trees out the front. I have a couple out front to discourage drivers from churning up the verge in winter. The corner one always gets it, hence its sacrificial nature. I mostly despair about how shit some of the drivers are, there's room enough to get around the corner, all the bin lorries manage it fine.

[orienteer]

You need to register any CCTV which includes any land beyond your own property border.

https://ico.org.uk/registration/cctv

[ian]

What if I'm filming the sky? You know, in case any aliens are getting their kit off?

[Canardly]

Have you considered an RSJ being inserted into terra firma instead of a concrete bollard? Said RSJ could be covered in an environmentally acceptable but renewable disguise. They do make a nice banging/boinging sound when struck.

[ian]

I could (rolled steel joist?). That or a landmine or IED, which would give me more satisfaction.

Or I might give up, it's just a verge. I tried to make it look nice (I even netted a few compliments for my trouble) but I suspect it's a battle that will never end, and I have better things to do. Tbh, the road is unsuitable for lorries anyway, but I suspect any weight restriction would be disregarded and not being able to get deliveries wouldn't be popular with the fifty or so houses beyond mine. Plus I'd have to deal with Surrey CC and they're utterly, utterly, utterly fucking useless.

[mrcharly-YHT]

The answer has to be a rubber springy one, covered in sharp metal scratchy bits. So they can drive over it without ripping it out, but it will nicely scratch up their vehicle.

That or a bit of art made from a bundle of stainless cable sticking up vertically.

[ian]

If you are suggesting I cross Zebedee with a Terminator T1000 and program it to patrol my garden, that's quite possibly the best idea I've heard all morning. Give me your clothes, your boots, and your slinky.

[mrcharly-YHT]

If you are suggesting I cross Zebedee with a Terminator T1000 and program it to patrol my garden, that's quite possibly the best idea I've heard all morning. Give me your clothes, your boots, and your slinky.

Yebbut it might then start doing disgusting things with the slinky. Entirely unsuitable viewing for Form 5B on their way home.

[David Martin]

RSJ buried 2/3 into the ground with a scarecrow on top in the uniform of the local school.

[ian]

What about a leering Jimmy Savile? That would scare the absolute fuck out of me. Hmm.

I should maybe work on persuading the bear squadron to move out front. Admittedly they have grown fat and lazy on plentiful diet of local Daily Mail readers. That's the problem with an all-you-can-eat buffet. It's hard to motivate them. I couldn't eat another, they say. Plus DM readers are mostly rather chewy, all gristle and skin. The bears would probably like to eat real people. Nice plump ones, the sort that read the Guardian and eat healthily. And some raspberry jam. Bears love jam.

The yetis won't come down, the altitude out front is too low for practical yetiing.

I could raise Finestre, the Demon of Such Things, but she's a busy demon. You don't get the executive town house in Hell's most salubrious suburb, Dress Down Friday, without a full-on dedication to diabolicalism. Besides, all she natters on about is you'll never guess what Astaroth did today? Hell's office politics is much like our own, though admittedly with a lot more screaming.

Life is hard.

[Kim]

Hang on, you're all thinking about this the wrong way.  All you need to do is fuddishly park a motor vehicle on the corner.  That's the one thing motorists respect.

[TheLurker]

I still think anti-tank landmines are the way to go.  A few anti-personnel mines chucked in for good measure and you've sorted the irritating schoolchildren problem and possibly the inconsiderate dog-emptiers as well.

[ElyDave]

I'd go full Ed-209 on them

"you have 30 seconds to comply"

[andrewc]

I've got Blepheritis in my right eye, so now have an eyelid full of antibiotic cream.  This is sub optimal for most stuff as everything is really blurred so I'm working one eyed.    I'm off touring at the weekend, the course should  finish by Sunday.  Hopefully this will clear the problem up.

This stuff is leaching into the back of my throat via the tear duct.  It does not taste good