Grammar that makes you cringe

[Andrij]

And what's wrong with that?

Aargh!!!!

[iakobski]

So, do you start a sentence with "So"?

So you heard that too? (Note correct use of "so".  )

Did you notice the person they got on to complain about irritating idioms scattered the phrase "I mean" meaninglessly throughout his interview?

[eck]

And what's wrong with that?

Aargh!!!!

So you don't like it?

[Pingu]

IMG_5218 by The Pingus, on Flickr

[Gareth Rees]

Meanwhile a group of MPs called for a public consultation on how to reduce the harms from smoking in cars.

This doesn't make me cringe, but it does make me wonder how it came about. Is it a simple typo, a careless editing from "harmful effects" or is it a deliberate use of harm as a countable noun?

Harm as a countable noun goes back to Old English. From the Genesis of the 8th century:

Ealle synt uncre hearmas gewrecene [all our harms are avenged]

Harm has been used in this sense by many good authors over the centuries. For example, Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra:

Ten thousand harms, more than the ills I know,
My idleness doth hatch.

So I don't see how you can in good conscience object to this sense of the word.

[Gareth Rees]

So, do you start a sentence with "So"?

Initial so was good enough for Shakespeare:

Lafeu. So, my good window of lattice, fare thee well; thy casement I need not open, for I look through thee.

Thyreus. So, haply, are they friends to Antony.

First Senator. So, your opinion is, Aufidius, / That they of Rome are ent'red in our counsels / And know how we proceed.

[FatBloke]

Working with the unemployed, as I do (and soon to become one of them) I am not very optimistic when I see that they've written "looked in paper: nufink!"   

[Cudzoziemiec]

So I don't see how you can in good conscience object to this sense of the word.

I don't object, in fact I'm quite keen on counting uncountable nouns! But I'm still not convinced that's actually what was happening in my example.

[clarion]

Working with the unemployed, as I do (and soon to become one of them) I am not very optimistic when I see that they've written "looked in paper: nufink!"   

Correct use of a colon is encouraging.  Lack of capitalisation less so

[Wowbagger]

Ah, but was Fattersbequotingfromthestartofthesentence?

[pcolbeck]

The American use of  "fit" for the past and past perfect form of "fit" instead of "fitted" drives me bonkers. When reading American books it always trips me up and breaks my concentration as in my head it just doesn't scan properly.

[Gareth Rees]

When I comes across paragraphs that start with but or and it seems wrong to me. Has the language progressed while I haven't or it grammatically incorrect?

These constructions have long been used by the best writers in English. Some examples:

And with these words he hastily left the room, and Elizabeth heard him the next moment open the front door and quit the house.
...
But when the gentlemen entered, Jane was no longer the first object.

And how should Dorothea not marry?
...
But now Celia was really startled at the suspicion which had darted into her mind.

And yet my thoughts were idle; not intent on the calamity that weighed upon my heart, but idly loitering near it.
...
But my mother made no answer, except to thank her, and Peggotty went running on in her own fashion.

(I should add that I didn't have to cast around for examples: these were the first three books I looked at.)

[Bledlow]

Funny you should say that - oranges were originally noranges, doncha know (from the Spanish "naranja").

And adders were nadders, nicknames were eeknames, and doubtless many others.

Though I thought oranges were named after the town in the south of France. Maybe not.

Etymology of orange -

c.1300, from O.Fr. orenge (12c.), from M.L. pomum de orenge, from It. arancia, originally narancia (Venetian naranza), alteration of Arabic naranj, from Pers. narang, from Skt. naranga-s "orange tree," of uncertain origin. Loss of initial n- probably due to confusion with definite article (e.g. une narange, una narancia),

Spanish naranja, Portuguese laranja, Armenian narnji, Azeri narıncı, Hindi nāraṅgī (& similar in some other Indian languages). 

[jogler]

the phrase "should or would of" when "should or would have" is the correct grammar

[Gareth Rees]

When I comes across paragraphs that start with but or and it seems wrong to me. Has the language progressed while I haven't or it grammatically incorrect?

I forgot the biggest example of them all...

Genesis 1:2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
...
2:6 But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

In total, 9,511 verses in the AV start with And, and 1,150 start with But!

[Gareth Rees]

You are a mine of information, Gareth.

You're welcome! One of the many great things about the Internet is that it's easy to answer these kinds of questions. There are so many resources: the online Oxford English Dictionary for meaning, etymology and usage; Google ngram viewer for frequency of usage through time; Google advanced book search for finding phrases; Project Gutenberg for public domain literature; the British National Corpus for spoken language; and many others. For your question, Project Gutenberg made the most sense, since the other resources make it hard or impossible to search for words at the start of a paragraph.

[mattc]

...

Project Gutenberg for public domain literature; the British National Corpus for spoken language; and many others. For your question, Project Gutenberg made the most sense, since the other resources make it hard or impossible to search for words at the start of a paragraph.

OK, your chance to make me look stupid(er); how do you search for text on Proj Guten?!?

[Gareth Rees]

OK, your chance to make me look stupid(er); how do you search for text on Proj Guten?!?

I download copies of the books that I want to search and use Emacs to do the searching.

[mattc]

Oh I see! You were being far less lazy than me 

[Nuncio]

We are not alone according to the Telegraph.

Officials at the Department for Transport have produced a 1,500-word report which details ministers' pet grammatical hates in remarkable detail.

The guidance sent to civil servants and MPs lists the particular linguistic errors which infuriate Justine Greening, the Transport Secretary, and her fellow transport ministers.

[citoyen]

FFS. First, one of my colleagues actually wrote this crap. Second, another of my colleagues supposedly subbed it before it reached me...

From the brains behind Shameless, say hello to Mia (Chloë Sevigny) a contract killer who’s already weird life is about to get a whole lot weirder.

Looks like I'm going to have to get my red pen out. And stab someone in the eye with it.

d.

[Gareth Rees]

Never mind the who's/whose spelling error: the subject is missing! What exactly is it that is "from the brains behind Shameless"? A phrase like "the new television series Hit And Miss" is required somewhere.

[citoyen]

Hmm, either would work...

Not quite. The who's/whose cock-up is actually quite trivial and can be rectified easily. Not so bothered by that. What you've got to ask yourself is: who or what is the subject of the opening clause?

[edit: cross-posted with Gareth]

d.

[Ian H]

You could run as, "From the brains behind Shameless: [etc.]".
It's more of a poster blurb than a proper sentence..

[Andrew]

What you've got to ask yourself is: who or what is the subject of the opening clause?

Perhaps oddly, I don't find myself concerned by that at all.