Our local is called the Red Cow. It was taken over a couple of years ago by a couple who'd never run a pub before and they've had a tough time, but they're happily paying someone to help them with marketing and promotion stuff and it's driving me absolutely mental.
As an example of the evidence I'll use in court after I've burnt the place to the ground, they're having a music festival this weekend - lovely - except it's not a music festival, it's a 'moosic' festival, with 'incredi-bull' bands under one 'hoof', for people feeling 'socia-bull' who want an 'udderly' special day. They dont have a weekly pub quiz, it's 'moo-niversity challenge', they dont do a newsletter it's a 'moosletter' and you can follow them heifery day on facebook or twitter.
Swear to god, I'm going to torch the place.