Grammar that makes you cringe

[citoyen]

So, do we go with strict grammar or everyday usage? To be honest, I think I prefer the latter, especially in this context.

My inner pedant got the better of me and I went with strict grammar in the end: it's a plural noun, end of.

And judging by subsequent responses here, I think I was right to do so.

d.

[Ian H]

For a confidential discussion about the role, please contact D—— C—— or I, at Green Park on 020 7000 0000.

[Pingu]

In fact the different colours reflect the different chemical elements in our atmosphere being effected and they then interact with the discharge from the sun.

BBC News - Aurora Borealis to light up the night sky

[Bledlow]

For a confidential discussion about the role, please contact D—— C—— or I, at Green Park on 020 7000 0000.

Classic. A prime example of the common false assumption that because "X & me" is sometimes wrong, it's always wrong.

[hellymedic]

From BBC report about visit to teddy bear factory.

"Once that is mastered, the limbs are sent over to Pauline Davies who puts the eyes on."

Strange bears!

[Biggsy]

I wouldn't mind having an eye on my paw.

[Zipperhead]

Reading through a school report last night, this from the English teacher (of all people) -

XXXX has a lively intellect and, when focussed, can articulate fluent an assured responses at the highest level.

[Si_Co]

My daughter's school report always reads as if it has been written by a gibbering idiot on LSD, I have ceased communicating with them on this ever since I asked for a context on their rating system and recieved a reply asking what I meant

[Wowbagger]

Reading through a school report last night, this from the English teacher (of all people) -

XXXX has a lively intellect and, when focussed, can articulate fluent an assured responses at the highest level.

But that surely is just a missing letter d, not a grammatical error as such.

When I was churning out school reports for lots of kids, most of whom I'd only seen twice a week and who didn't participate noticeably in my lessons (music), sometimes it would be very difficult to think of anything to say at all. School report writing really is one of the most mind-numbing of occupations.

Having said that, I believe that most schools these days try to keep stuff a lot more relevant and record-keeping is probably a lot more conspicuous than it was 30 years ago.

[Bledlow]

Some schools were using report-writing systems by the 1990s. I wouldn't be surprised if that's spread. I remember a former girlfriend ranting about having to select from a limited set of ghastly phrases & sentences, which were rarely, if ever, appropriate.

[Mr Larrington]

Stuffs in the formation $PERSON is a former $NATIONALITY $PROFESSION, such as "Niki Lauda is a former Austrian racing driver" or "Hendrix stayed with his girlfriend, former German figure skater Monika Dannemann".   Admittedly Monika Dannemann is now a former German, but only in the sense that she's also a former human being.  If you really can't be arsed to rearrange the sentence, try using the word "retired".

Bah!

[ravenbait]

Reading through a school report last night, this from the English teacher (of all people) -

XXXX has a lively intellect and, when focussed, can articulate fluent an assured responses at the highest level.

And focused is spelled with one s, not two. Drives me batty, that does.

Sam

[clarion]

Actually, either is acceptable, although the single s sets my teeth on edge.  Makes it fo-kyuzed

[ravenbait]

Actually, either is acceptable, although the single s sets my teeth on edge.  Makes it fo-kyuzed

What, the same way "snake" is pronounced "znake"?

Focus should only take a double s if one stresses the second syllable (c.f. begin, beginning; allot, allotted). That's not how I pronounce focus, don't know about you.

Sam

[clarion]

No, the same way refused or confused are pronounced.  But it matters not.

[eck]

I've never really understood that one either.
Fuse - fused
Fuss - fussed
Focus - focused. 

[clarion]

Actually, now I remember, I think it was 'focusing' that never felt right, not 'focused'.

[Andrij]

I've never really understood that one either.
Fuse - fused
Fuss - fussed
Focus - focused. 

mouse - mice
house - hice ?

goose - geese
moose - meese ?

Oh, the joy and simplicity of the English language! 
 

[clarion]

Slide - slid

Glide - glid?

Side - sided

Glide - glided?

Ride - rode

Glide - glode?

[Wowbagger]

If I were a bear
And big bear too
I shouldn't much care
If it froze or snew.
I shouldn't much mind
If it snowed or friz
I'd be all fur lined
With a coat like his.

A. A. LARRINGTON (retired)

[mattc]

house - hice ?

By jove I think he's got it!

Always nice to hear Johnny foreigner aiming for a correct English accent, what?!

[Ian H]

house - hice ?

By jove I think he's got it!

Always nice to hear Johnny foreigner aiming for a correct English accent, what?!

What?

Personally I'm much more in favour of vividly pithy imagery (now there's a phrase to avoid in speech) than pedantic correctness.

[Andrij]

house - hice ?

By jove I think he's got it!

Always nice to hear Johnny foreigner aiming for a correct English accent, what?!

Around 'ere, it's more like 'owss.

[Andrij]

If I were a bear
And big bear too
I shouldn't much care
If it froze or snew.
I shouldn't much mind
If it snowed or friz
I'd be all fur lined
With a coat like his.

A. A. LARRINGTON (retired)

POTD

[Nuncio]

Usage. 'Literally'.

This week I have heard it used twice, by people who should probably have known better, when  its antonym, or nothing at all, should have been used.  Margaret Hodge said something on Question Time about the MOD 'literally throwing money down the drain'.  And Sally Bercow on the 10 O'clock Show: "If we do switch to AV MPs are going to literally have a rocket shoved up their bottom".  Daily in work I hear the twenty-somethings in the team use it as an intensifier: "I was literally in at 7 o'clock". I sigh and bite my tongue.