Bicycle parts. Buying thereof. I want the thing that connects the handlebars to the bit that goes to the forks. Stem, I know that, I'm not an idiot. Looks kind of standard, I can just buy one and undo a few bolts and et voilà. As it's my wife's bike she'll be impressed. She'd better be, it's been broken* since she bought the bike, which means I've been fixing it for four years.
OK, how big. I don't know. Go to garage with tape measure. Measure it. Come back. Realise I need about eight different measurements. What does the 28.6 mm cryptically refer to? Is that 1 1/8th of an inch? What's the diameter of the handle bars? I don't fucking know, I thought handlebars were handlebars. Why does the world need different diameters. They don't, that's what.
Fuck it, easier just to Google the local bike shop and let them do it. And why is the fucking shop at the top of the bloody giant hill and not the bottom? Both of them, each up huge hills.
*it's always made a horrid creaking noise, which I assumed was just the way it was given the fearsome death grip my wife exerts on the bars when she rides, assuming as she does that every moment will be her last, and the crappiness of an adjustable stam. But last week she refused to ride it any more unless I fix it. So I took it apart (why, I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do, it's not like I've ever fixed anything, generally I can't even put them back together). I did however notice it was missing one of the washer/gripper things that I imagine is important and was never there. Another grumble in that.
