Author Topic: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)  (Read 3002731 times)

Regulator

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24325 on: 24 January, 2024, 09:57:08 am »
What do you call a person without a beard?

A woman.


Not if one is a dwarf*.


*[Oblig. Pratchett reference]
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

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Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24326 on: 24 January, 2024, 10:56:02 am »
What do you call a person without a beard?

A woman.


Not if one is a dwarf*.


*[Oblig. Pratchett reference]
I can’t disagree with that.
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Mrs Pingu

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24327 on: 24 January, 2024, 05:24:23 pm »
Oh. That's given me really unexpected ick. I was having breakfast when I read it. Now I can't finish it; I feel a bit sick.

To be honest, I find all pre-masticated food fairly disgusting, but the thought of it touching my face...

What about what comes out of a liquidizer?
masticate
verb
past tense: masticated; past participle: masticated
chew (food).

Not the same as whizzed.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24328 on: 24 January, 2024, 07:10:17 pm »
It's very specifically about chewed food. I can't watch people who chew with their mouths open.

Urgh, shudder. If I were Ian, I'd have shaved the beard and had several rounds with facial scrub. I'd also not be going swimming there ever again.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24329 on: 24 January, 2024, 07:12:06 pm »
Also, if I were on the jury for Ian's murder trial, he'd definitely be getting off.

citoyen

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24330 on: 24 January, 2024, 07:51:00 pm »
+1

Only need another 10 sensible people for an acquittal
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Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24331 on: 24 January, 2024, 08:38:32 pm »
Or just one sensible police officer to turn a blind eye to an obviously needed culling of the human race.
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

ian

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24332 on: 24 January, 2024, 09:32:34 pm »
It's a serious point though, is chewing gum ever justified? And if not, why don't laser-droids patrol the streets, programmed to vaporize public chumblers. All that slap-mouthed saliva boiled up into the sky in an efficient flash of excited coherent photons.


I'm blaming the pool, though there is an outside chance I was pranked by the bears when I stepped outside, but this would a sad turning point in our – to date – congenial relationship. Especially as we're into advanced planning for Operation Bearswipe*.


Honestly though, who (a) chews gum in the pool and (b) spits it out in the pool?


*it should be clear to everyone by now that Canadians are the most ill-suited people to live in Canada and frankly the bears are fed-up, so Operation Bearswipe will utilize the natural climate of Canada to freeze-dry all Canadians so they can efficiently relocated to a more benign environment on the outskirts of Basingstoke where they can be safely re-hydrated.

SoreTween

  • Most of me survived the Pennine Bridleway.
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24333 on: 24 January, 2024, 10:51:59 pm »
+1

Only need another 10 sensible people for an acquittal
9
2023 targets: Survive. Maybe.
There is only one infinite resource in this universe; human stupidity.

Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24334 on: 25 January, 2024, 11:35:59 am »
+1

Only need another 10 sensible people for an acquittal
9

Actually you're both wrong... In England and Wales you only need 3 people to go 'not guilty' to ensure that a majority 'guilty' verdict cannot be reached.
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Green Party Councillor

PaulF

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24335 on: 25 January, 2024, 11:43:24 am »
Is no-one else leaning towards delivering a guilty verdict in this case? Not on the basis of the evidence but solely on the anticipation of reading Ian's prison diaries.

Mr Larrington

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24336 on: 25 January, 2024, 11:53:45 am »
I'm sure he’s guilty of something.  Best send him to a Reëducation Camp just in case.
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TheLurker

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24337 on: 25 January, 2024, 04:05:52 pm »
Quote from: PaulF
Is no-one else leaning towards delivering a guilty verdict in this case? Not on the basis of the evidence but solely on the anticipation of reading Ian's prison diaries.
Well Erwin James has died so there's a slot going at the Grauniad.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2024/jan/23/erwin-james-former-guardian-prison-columnist-dies
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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24338 on: 26 January, 2024, 10:40:30 am »
You, lady of a certain age have reserved a seat on the quiet coach Do not continue a monolouge about nothing of consequence to your friend from Durham to Edinburgh.. I have just moved to the other end of the carriage and can still hear you.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24339 on: 26 January, 2024, 12:31:49 pm »



I'm blaming the pool, though there is an outside chance I was pranked by the bears when I stepped outside, but this would a sad turning point in our – to date – congenial relationship. Especially as we're into advanced planning for Operation Bearswipe*.
.[/size]

Sorry, late to this

Until we can body cavity search and DNA test everyone, this (and worse  :sick: :sick:) will continue to happen

Kim

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24340 on: 26 January, 2024, 12:49:23 pm »
You, lady of a certain age have reserved a seat on the quiet coach Do not continue a monolouge about nothing of consequence to your friend from Durham to Edinburgh.. I have just moved to the other end of the carriage and can still hear you.

Could this be one of those people who have a weirdly luddite interpretation of the quietness rules?  As in, you can make as much noise as you like as long as there isn't anything electronic involved, and anyone seen making silent use of an electronic device should be humphed and tutted at.

They sometimes escape into normal coaches.  I had one of them complain at me because the something loose in the coachwork was squeaking obnoxiously as the train vibrated, giving everyone nearby a headache as it was the very slow rattly train from Mid-Wales to somewhere.  Which was clearly my fault for having a fondleslab in standby on the table in front of me.

Mr Larrington

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24341 on: 26 January, 2024, 12:59:18 pm »
Got humphed and tutted at by the woman in the neighbouring seat on a cranky old grid of a Boeing a couple of years ago.  Apparently the shonky wiring that caused her reading light to come on at random and mine to not work at all was entirely my doing.
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Kim

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24342 on: 26 January, 2024, 01:02:45 pm »
Got humphed and tutted at by the woman in the neighbouring seat on a cranky old grid of a Boeing a couple of years ago.  Apparently the shonky wiring that caused her reading light to come on at random and mine to not work at all was entirely my doing.

Obviously you should have whipped out your Swiss Army Knife and Lightweight Racing Multimeter and sorted it out.

(I believe this is now official Boeing maintenance policy)

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24343 on: 26 January, 2024, 01:20:23 pm »
About a week ago I was on a London bus, with my wife of limited mobility which we had waited over 30 minutes for in the freezing cold despite it supposed to be every 6 minutes. At a bus stop a middle aged woman boarded and came straight for me and demanded I give her my seat, and started to give me a medical history. I suggested she asked someone younger, to which she retorted it was nothing to do with age. I refused to give up my seat. A little later the bus joined a long queue of very slow traffic, so she decided to get off and walk the best part of a mile to the destination carrying her shopping bags, and despite being quite short was able to press the emergency door open button above the door.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24344 on: 26 January, 2024, 01:24:37 pm »
Got humphed and tutted at by the woman in the neighbouring seat on a cranky old grid of a Boeing a couple of years ago.  Apparently the shonky wiring that caused her reading light to come on at random and mine to not work at all was entirely my doing.

Obviously you should have whipped out your Swiss Army Knife and Lightweight Racing Multimeter and sorted it out.

(I believe this is now official Boeing maintenance policy)

A recent U.S. op-ed pages cartoon springs to mind...

"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Mr Larrington

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24345 on: 26 January, 2024, 03:05:22 pm »
Got humphed and tutted at by the woman in the neighbouring seat on a cranky old grid of a Boeing a couple of years ago.  Apparently the shonky wiring that caused her reading light to come on at random and mine to not work at all was entirely my doing.

Obviously you should have whipped out your Swiss Army Knife and Lightweight Racing Multimeter and sorted it out.

(I believe this is now official Boeing maintenance policy)

Sadly the SAK was in The Luggage in the hold.  It has a “locking*” blade, y'see, and I dare say the Security Gnomes at SFO would’ve taken a dim view of this.  And the LRM is an instance of “which in my case I have not got”.

Said aircraft was a replacement for the originally-scheduled one and had clearly been hauled out of the back of a dusty hangar in a forgotten corner of Heathrow at short notice.  As was the food :sick:

* with “LOCK” written on it in small friendly letters, although it doesn’t lock securely enough to keep the blade open when stabbing oneself in the hand, never mind attempting to hijack a wide-bodied airliner.
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Cudzoziemiec

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24346 on: 27 January, 2024, 01:29:07 pm »
Is no-one else leaning towards delivering a guilty verdict in this case? Not on the basis of the evidence but solely on the anticipation of reading Ian's prison diaries.
Definitely. In fact I'm hoping that, due to a technicality arising from the 1856 Treaty of Paris that ended the Crimean War, the pool is found to be under Russian jurisdiction and Ian is sent to the Siberian Gulag. I can't wait to read One Day In The Life Of Ian Denisovich.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

rogerzilla

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24347 on: 10 February, 2024, 09:44:10 am »
Hive.  Stop spamming me with Heating Plus notifications.  I'm not buying anything else from you since you said you were bricking my outdoor camera.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24348 on: 10 February, 2024, 12:13:04 pm »
I do take some slight satisfaction in replying to the surveys the send out every so often asking if I'd recommend them to others etc. saying absolutely no, because I don't trust them to keep the service running. Not that it'll make any difference.

Luckily I'd only invested in the hub and a few bulbs and sockets, just before they announced turning other stuff off, so went down another route for all my automation.

robgul

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #24349 on: 10 February, 2024, 05:14:27 pm »
I do take some slight satisfaction in replying to the surveys the send out every so often asking if I'd recommend them to others etc. saying absolutely no, because I don't trust them to keep the service running. Not that it'll make any difference.

Luckily I'd only invested in the hub and a few bulbs and sockets, just before they announced turning other stuff off, so went down another route for all my automation.

Ditto - I was poised on the buy button for the CCTV stuff when they canned it, phew!   That said the CH/HW hub, plug sockets and light bulbs work . . . and I've even got some Hive TRVs cobbled to create separate "heating zones" (just using them as time switches for the radiators)

AND yes the "we'll save you £nnn with heatig plus" is very annoying