more insane management speak phrases

[HTFB]

And every so often a cat kills one of the participants.

[Kim]

BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD

[perpetual dan]

We don't have quick daily meetings, we don't have stand-ups. This month we have bird tables. Or, as have just appeared in my diary, bird baths. No, I don't either.

In the current weather, I'd interpret that as a paddling pool. Which sounds admirable. Is it in the office, or do you get one each?

Sent from my SM-S911B using Tapatalk

[barakta]

My tiny charity trustees and I have a bi-weekly "standup" mostly cos they're both wheelchair users, therefore it's kinda funny that neither CAN standup (yes, we have a rubbish sense of humour, but at least neither speaks BusinessBullshit any better than I do).

[barakta]

When the hospital I worked in, opened a new building, management referred to patients would be admitted to a "treatment pavilion".
i.e. a ward.

Belated reply to this nonsense! As a patient I don't want shitty weird words for stuff, I'd like them to use the standard words we already have, like "ward" "gym" "physiotherapy department".

A friend's hospital now has "disablement therapies" to mean podiatry and orthotics despite the latter two words being more coherent and not more characters. Also, we could get fucking political about dis-ablement and who does it, cos surely support should be re-enablement or enablement....

And then we get into stupid wanky words for what my job is "disability support" but gets changed to enablement, access-ability (with different capitalisation) or the awful generic "student support" and just muddles everyone.

Today I couldn't work out if I'm in student services or academic services post-restructure cos I believe our division is Student and Academic Services...

[Cudzoziemiec]

New words can be useful to introduce new ideas. If a new treatment or a new attitude to treatment has been introduced, calling the place a treatment pavilion rather than a ward could help the new attitudes take root. However, the new word could also be disguising the same old treatments in the same old way.

Disablement therapies is arse about face though. The therapies should dis-dis-able you; enablement or re-enablement, indeed.

[ElyDave]

Or just be therapies

[jsabine]

Re-ablement is often used, I understand.

At least it's concise.

[Kim]

'Treatment pavillion' just makes me think of this classic BatLabel:



Pedants would point out that it's not a gauge, it's a valve.  Which rather misses the points, namely  a) Alliteration  and  b) What kind of emergency would require the gassing of a treatment cricket pavilion?

[barakta]

Looking up the definition of Pavillion, it's an open building such as in parks. I sincerely hope physio is not done in a building open to the elements for privacy and indeed accessibility reasons... So it's using the P word cos it sounds swanky but not realising it has an actual meaning. I bet some PR prat was paid £££ for that fuckwittery.

[Pickled Onion]

It appears to have another meaning in US-en, courtesy of the Cambridge Dictionary:

US
one of a group of related buildings:
the West Pavilion of Central General Hospital

With an example:

Rather than one # large building, it consisted of twenty-one smaller pavilions, with specialized services and laboratories housed in each.

Sometimes using American words is fine, eg "trash" which will be understood and not confused with something else. In this case it's neither.

[Mr Larrington]

So “pavilion” is the collective noun for pavilions.  It’s pavilions all the way down, yes?