With apologies to Hunter S. Thompson

[Charlotte]

A download from the recesses of my mind during the BCM600...

We were somewhere around Barmouth on the edge of Snowdonia when the sugar began to take hold.  I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded, maybe you should lead out".  And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the road was full of what looked like huge midges, all swooping and screetching and diving round our peleton which was moving at about evens with no helmets to Menai.  "Holy Jesus!  What are these goddamn animals?"

Then it was quiet again. My companion had taken her shirt off and was pouring SisGo on her chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" she muttered, staring up at the setting sun with her eyes closed and covered with wraparound Wiggle sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to lead out." I hit the brakes and aimed the Thorn toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those insects, I thought. The poor woman will see them soon enough...

We had two bags of PSP, seventy-five pellets of dextrose, five sheets of high powered toilet paper, a salt shaker half full sherbert and a whole galaxy of multicolored ibuprofen, cocodamol, screamers and laughers.  Also a quart of Ribena, a quart of Lucozade, a case of gels, a pint of raw Sudocrem, and two dozen Powerbars... Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious ride, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.  The only thing that really worried me was the Sudocrem. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a woman in the depths of an Sudocrem binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

[rogerzilla]

My companion had taken her shirt off and was pouring SisGo on her chest, to facilitate the tanning process.

Want pics.

[Charlotte]

My companion she say this to you 

[mattc]

Top work, C!

( My only concern is that you may be able to recite the original from memory. Actually it's not a concern, more a form of jealousy ...)

It does emphasise the relationship between sleep-deprived distance riding and other, err, harmful recreations.

[iddu]

"I started with 100's, before I knew it the pushers were offering me 600's in the corner of the yard...but I can give it up anytime"

It's a damn good job I'm not drinking anything expensive a'the'mo', lass 

[Hot Flatus]

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "

... was what was going through my mind as I watched Maladict pull away from the peloton at the start of the BCM

[andygates]

Outstanding.

And nobody turned into a lizard?

[Maladict]

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "

... was what was going through my mind as I watched Maladict pull away from the peleton at the start of the BCM

Er, thank you.  I think.

  

[Hot Flatus]

Just put another 'sorry' on the bill. I'll settle up next time I see you 

[annie]

Superb

[valkyrie]

Post of the Day!

[Hummers]

We wanna wide weport!

[juliet]

Doop says he turned into a lizard.  But he is weird alien spacefreak anyway. 

[mattc]

p.s. if YOU don't send this to Arrivee, I will.

[Really Ancien]

If people want to do this sort of literary homage then I have photographs to illustrate an article. Perhaps a private board to provide an element of embargo, but with no guarantee of publication, a gem polishing area. I can understand peoples impatience to get their ideas out, but it can spoil the pleasure of reading Arrivee if the only novelty is the layout.

Damon.

[Hummers]

Not everyone reads the t'interweb though, do they?

H

[Really Ancien]

Agreed, but I look forward to reading Arrivee in bed, drinking coffee and eating croissants, ideally filled with cream cheese and smoked salmon. Charlotte's pastiche is just the sort of thing to brighten the experience.

Damon.

[Furious]

Agreed, but I look forward to reading Arrivee in bed, drinking coffee and eating croissants, ideally filled with cream cheese and smoked salmon. Charlotte's pastiche is just the sort of thing to brighten the experience.

Damon.

The bed, or the croissants? 
Kinky, the former. Yummy, the latter.

[Hummers]

Agreed, but I look forward to reading Arrivee in bed, drinking coffee and eating croissants, ideally filled with cream cheese and smoked salmon. Charlotte's pastiche is just the sort of thing to brighten the experience.

Damon.

You could always set your profile to ignore her posts. 

*Thinks* Actually, taking your point about keeping things fresh and exciting for Arrivee, there are somethings that deserve that sort of stapled glossy media.

I shall make submissions of prose and pictures to the erstwhile Mr Tim forthwith!

H

[Maladict]

The Arrivee Centrefold is born!

[Elleigh]

Doop says he turned into a lizard. 

I'm glad that it's not just me who has experiences like this.  On my only experience of a 600k, I was convinced that my companion poked me with a stick for about 300k.  I assumed she did this for the best of reasons, as it kept me cycling, but she denies doing this!  Hmmm I wonder which of us is right!

[Charlotte]

If people want to do this sort of literary homage then I have photographs to illustrate an article.

If it's THAT photo, then I think I just might hear the distant sounds of the sharpening of disemboweling knives 

p.s. if YOU don't send this to Arrivee, I will.

Hmmm - maybe I'll zip it off to them, then 

[Really Ancien]

If people want to do this sort of literary homage then I have photographs to illustrate an article.

If it's THAT photo, then I think I just might hear the distant sounds of the sharpening of disemboweling knives 

I think it's quite a good likeness, do look again.

Damon.