Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances

[rogerzilla]

"Can you have a disco at a funeral if someone like David Cameron dies?"

"Yes dear, you certainly can!"

[Kim]

That sounds like a cue to sit them down and have the serious talk that every parent dreads - where you explain Margaret Thatcher.

[rogerzilla]

That sounds like a cue to sit them down and have the serious talk that every parent dreads - where you explain Margaret Thatcher.

They already know about that, mainly because Daddy was singing Ding Dong! for a whole week.

[Arch]

Not quite an utterance but,

It's nephew Oli's birthday this week, and we'd been asked to contribute to a new bike for him 

Anyway, the family up the road where selling off their boys' bikes, so my sister has picked up a bike for him now, and a bike for him when he's 10, all in one go!

This means our cash contribution is superfluous for the bike, but she rang to ask me if it was ok to use it to buy something he'd requested:

Knee and Elbow pads!

Bless him, he's never been as confident at balance as his younger brother, so I think it's a very sensible wish!

[Kim]

Saw a small kid losing the stabilisers in the park recently dressed like a proper downhill mountain biker.  Except for the gloves.  Guess which bit they landed on?

[Cudzoziemiec]

"That's not Uncle Ben!" said a little girl of no more than three, pointing at me.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Little Cudzo is discussing careers: writer, film star, politician, sailor, soldier, whaler (we ruled that one out - he's just been reading Moby Dick).
LC: What if I become a banker?
MrsC: You can be whatever you want.
LC: Bankers earn lots of money.
MrsC: Some of them do, I don't know why though.
LC: It's because they work in banks.

Nail, head.

[Cudzoziemiec]

This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines! 

[hellymedic]

This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines! 

I see no cuddle toy/teddy bear here; that's refreshing cos David can't sleep without one so it's a packing essential.

[Cudzoziemiec]

This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines! 

I see no cuddle toy/teddy bear here; that's refreshing cos David can't sleep without one so it's a packing essential.

Aren't you David's cuddly toy?

[hellymedic]

This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines! 

I see no cuddle toy/teddy bear here; that's refreshing cos David can't sleep without one so it's a packing essential.

Aren't you David's cuddly toy?

No. 
He always has a teddy bear (and sometimes crushes me with it).

He needs a cuddle toy whether I accompany him on his travels or not.

[Arch]

We all went to Mottisfont yesterday, to do the Winnie the Pooh trail. One activity in a clearing was to build a house for Eeyore, like Pooh and Piglet did, and a selection of long thing branch/poles were supplied for the purpose. Several previous trail followers had built various structures and left them intact.

We set to, and started a suitable house with the branches left lying around.

Max (3) decided to find a stick for himself. No matter that it was already forming part of a wigwam type construction, and about three times his height. A couple of good tugs and..

Perfect slow motion staggered collapse of wigwam with much clattering, a perfectly timed moment of silence as we all turned, fearing dreadful calamity, and a small confident voice said

"I got a stick!"

And he did have.

 

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

My mum's neighbour's grandson has started primary school. His teacher is called Mrs MacDonald "but she doesn't have a farm."

[arallsopp]

My mum's neighbour's grandson has started primary school. His teacher is called Mrs MacDonald "but she doesn't have a farm."

Slightly off topic here, but that song is a bloomin' minefield. I got caught out when Ted was at a singalong. The leader says "Come on parents! Join in!" and suddenly fingers are pointing and we're having to come up with answers. So, the parents that have done it before nab all the easy ones "chicken, cow, sheep, dog" and now they're at the "...and on that farm" and they're looking at me and I'm drawing a blank and they say "...he had a..." and now they're pointing and waiting and I can't think of anything that would be on a farm and I'm beginning to panic and the world slows down and Ted looks up at me with rare mute confusion and I know I'm failing him and then, from deep inside, an answer begins to surface and knowing that I will be saved, I (only slightly off pitch) chime in with "BARN!" and we're good for another 7 syllables, and then the horror.

[Kim]

So, what noise does a barn make?   

(Tell them about the rabbits, barakta...)

[Butterfly]

One of the children this morning suggested tractor, which seemed perfectly reasonable to me, but the leader wasn't having it 

[Cudzoziemiec]

I remember tractor being disallowed when someone suggested it in school. I also remember someone suggesting "a football". Well, why not?

[mrcharly-YHT]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/jofNR_WkoCE&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/jofNR_WkoCE&rel=1</a>

[DrMekon]

Son announced over breakfast that he can "...remember yesterday afternoon like it was today!"

I wonder if he had some memory issue, as he seemed amazed by it!

[Wowbagger]

We used to get frequent written gems from eldest g.d..
Being grandparents & thus knowing how quickly offspring get to an age where such things cease,I've saved them all.

When my sister and I were little, we had one of those clicky Dymo labelling machines. My Mum's kitchen scales were adorned for about 20 years with the tape my sister made which said "Mumm I love you".

Isn't that a reference to a bottle of champagne?

Sorry - don't visit this thread very often.

[Arch]

My mum's neighbour's grandson has started primary school. His teacher is called Mrs MacDonald "but she doesn't have a farm."

Slightly off topic here, but that song is a bloomin' minefield. I got caught out when Ted was at a singalong. The leader says "Come on parents! Join in!" and suddenly fingers are pointing and we're having to come up with answers. So, the parents that have done it before nab all the easy ones "chicken, cow, sheep, dog" and now they're at the "...and on that farm" and they're looking at me and I'm drawing a blank and they say "...he had a..." and now they're pointing and waiting and I can't think of anything that would be on a farm and I'm beginning to panic and the world slows down and Ted looks up at me with rare mute confusion and I know I'm failing him and then, from deep inside, an answer begins to surface and knowing that I will be saved, I (only slightly off pitch) chime in with "BARN!" and we're good for another 7 syllables, and then the horror.

LOL!

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

My friend's 5 year old daughter is visiting me this afternoon and we have been making jam tarts. During the lengthy process of rolling out what has proved to be the toughest pastry ever made, she asked me "Kirsten, do you think the pastry likes this?"

It's hard to fill pastry cases with jam when you're crying with laughter.

ETA:

me: let me just sprinkle some flour on that pastry to stop it sticking
her: I know that. I have been baking for quite a long time, you know

[menthel]

My boy (4) was playing Gran tourismo at his little friends house (basically driving in random directions but they had a full wheel and pedals controller which he rather enjoyed.). He sat down at the controls, worked out the pedals and wheels and then asked, "does this car have air conditioning?". I nearly died laughing.

[T42]

A colleague of mine told me this one years ago.  He had taken his 3-year-old daughter with him to a rugby match. One of the kickers was having a bad day and getting a lot of barracking for it, to which he occasionally responded in kind.

The following week he was in the back garden playing catch with her.  At one point she took the ball, carefully placed it, stared into the middle distance for an instant, then paced off a run-up. She then turned to an imaginary crowd, gave a double V-sign and bellowed "F**K OFF!"

[rogerzilla]

Miss Z the elder:  "Do you think Miley Cyrus shaves her front bottom?"