The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[Phil21]

You know that funds transfer that I initiated from my broker account to my current account on Tuesday that is supposed to take 2-3 "working" days. Still showing as pending in my banking app and since this is Easter it won't complete until Tuesday. That's seven days.

FFS banks, mainframes run 24/7/365 there is no reason for this in the modern age.

"Mainframes" have always run 24hrs, though in the past there will have been a "batch" process that ran at some point on a work day after a manual sign-off. Now there is no reason for this kind of bollocks, if it's left one account it should be in the destination account within seconds. One or other bank is deliberately holding the cash for their own benefit.

Similarly pension companies: I was paid  last Weds with the cash to be available in my account on Thurs before the holiday weekend. At the same time they will have sent my pension to the pension company. But pensionCo. won't even register it until next Tue or Weds and it will then be "unallocated" until Fri at the earliest. From my company ALONE that's A Several of millions of _BRITISH Pounds for well over a week at the SONIA rate of 5.19% which sounds like a nice little earner.

Yeah I know mainframes usually run batches, usually based on picking up files left in certain directories. I have some experience in the financial IT world. Probably nobody dare touch the core machines which are lashed together COBOL and JCL and there's a layer of "Enterprisey" Java and .Net code around it feeding it files occasionally.

I think the main problem is that the BANKS are signed up to the Faster Payments System https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faster_Payments but other financially oriented companies such as stockbrokers and and pension companies aren't. At least, not when getting money out of them. Strangely, they seem much faster at getting money in.

[T42]

Probably nobody dare touch the core machines which are lashed together COBOL and JCL...

Gawd, COBOL.  Pre-Y2K I was inveigled into writing a COBOL converter. Had to put the syntax trees in separate editable files because I eventually had to cope with about 5 different dialects.  Piggy wasn't the word for it, it was fierce.  I had to take 3 weeks off due to burnout in Jan 2000.

[Mr Larrington]

Soft front tyre on Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle.  Wasn’t like that on Saturday.  I can haz patches?  Yes.  I can haz rubber solution that didn’t turn into a rock-hard lump a decade ago?  Almost certainly not.

Bah!

[ElyDave]

Probably nobody dare touch the core machines which are lashed together COBOL and JCL...

Gawd, COBOL.  Pre-Y2K I was inveigled into writing a COBOL converter. Had to put the syntax trees in separate editable files because I eventually had to cope with about 5 different dialects.  Piggy wasn't the word for it, it was fierce.  I had to take 3 weeks off due to burnout in Jan 2000.

As a relatively new engineer on plant, one of my projects was as the process eng representative on a project to replace a MaxiVis control system. It took a f@$king age, over ran cost and time, expanded like buggery as we found all sorts of additional systems and PLCs to trasnfer in as well.  To cap it all I know of at least one other example of the same system still in use on an oil terminal in the UK

[T42]

Probably nobody dare touch the core machines which are lashed together COBOL and JCL...

Gawd, COBOL.  Pre-Y2K I was inveigled into writing a COBOL converter. Had to put the syntax trees in separate editable files because I eventually had to cope with about 5 different dialects.  Piggy wasn't the word for it, it was fierce.  I had to take 3 weeks off due to burnout in Jan 2000.

As a relatively new engineer on plant, one of my projects was as the process eng representative on a project to replace a MaxiVis control system. It took a f@$king age, over ran cost and time, expanded like buggery as we found all sorts of additional systems and PLCs to trasnfer in as well.  To cap it all I know of at least one other example of the same system still in use on an oil terminal in the UK

If it ever goes down you've got them over a barrel.

[Tim Hall]

Out with friends on Exmoor yesterday,  we walked up through Horner Wood, an ancient woodland, up onto the moor to the top of Dunkerry Beacon. Lovely. Peaceful.  Or so you would think. Just about the whole time we could hear Bangin' Tunes blasting out from a small but fucking noisy gathering of mostly young people, accompanied by generators, amplifiers and accessories. Our route later took us through the car park/beauty spot where they were gathered. I was sorely tempted to switch their generator off.

(click to show/hide)

And piss in the petrol tank.

They are not my Favourite People.

Edit: BBC news reports thre were two such gatherings on Exmoor. Police  attended, equipment siezed. Good.

[Beardy]

Very soft mattresses do not a good match make with 125kg lumps of lard with bad backs. The feather pillows only compound the situation, especially when said lump of lard has a minor allergy to feathers. And that’s before you add in the diminutive size of said ‘double’ bed. Oh, and the duvet is a down jobbie that’s too warm as well.

It’s probably for the best if I don’t describe my condition this morning. 

[barakta]

That sounds miserable. I too loathe soft beds and feathers. Snotty Skeleton Crankmonster and I know your back was already playing up recently.

[CAMRAMan]

Amazon delivery driver: I used to be a postman, so I know how important house numbers are, which is why there are five, yes five, number elevens outside my house. The main one is a distinctive, brass pair of digits on my front door. You, in your haste, ignored these and delivered to number seven. So near, yet so incompetently far.

[hellymedic]

I can’t roll over in bed and fear pressure sores.
I am easily able to regulate my temperature by sticking limbs and extremities out of our goose down duvets and we have different duvets and mattress surfaces for different seasons.
I’m very happy with my duvet and medium + firm sprung double-sided double mattress.
I don’t get on with bigger and would have to reposition our built-in bedside cabinets if we were to get a larger mattress.
What suits one person won’t suit another!

[alfapete]

Amazon delivery driver: I used to be a postman, so I know how important house numbers are, which is why there are five, yes five, number elevens outside my house. The main one is a distinctive, brass pair of digits on my front door. You, in your haste, ignored these and delivered to number seven. So near, yet so incompetently far.

Your very helpful signs are no use if they only made it to No 7 now, are they?

[robgul]

Amazon delivery driver: I used to be a postman, so I know how important house numbers are, which is why there are five, yes five, number elevens outside my house. The main one is a distinctive, brass pair of digits on my front door. You, in your haste, ignored these and delivered to number seven. So near, yet so incompetently far.

Five elevens - perhaps he thought you lived at number 55??

IGMC

[CAMRAMan]

I'll grant you two of the elevens were added by the developer and are stylish, so therefore illegible. The others are very clear, as befits a former Royal Mail wallah.

[Pingu]

Amazon delivery driver: I used to be a postman, so I know how important house numbers are, which is why there are five, yes five, number elevens outside my house. The main one is a distinctive, brass pair of digits on my front door. You, in your haste, ignored these and delivered to number seven. So near, yet so incompetently far.

Five elevens - perhaps he thought you lived at number 55??

IGMC

Or 1111111111?

[Tim Hall]

Bah. A Nice Man is just finishing up fitting a new lock to my front door following a "getting locked out as the old lock b0rked" situation.

Drilling the old lock through the door at a Specific Location followed by poking , jiggling and mild swears got him into my flat. Clever stuff. I fear it will be a spendy exercise.

[Kim]

Bah. A Nice Man is just finishing up fitting a new lock to my front door following a "getting locked out as the old lock b0rked" situation.

Drilling the old lock through the door at a Specific Location followed by poking , jiggling and mild swears got him into my flat. Clever stuff. I fear it will be a spendy exercise.

That happened to me a several of years ago:  Hardest part was convincing the letting agents that I hadn't lost my key, but the lock had snibbed itself (presumably) as I closed the door on the way out.  By the time the Nice Man arrived, I'd spent a good half an hour almost but not quite managing to un-snib it using a pair of spokes taped together.  He had a token go with the aid of his mirror-onna-stick, and then declared that I wanted a new lock anyway, didn't I? and got the BFO drill for precision application of ultra-violence.

Anyway *greps* here's some light reading that hopefully won't prove useful one day:
 https://ia601307.us.archive.org/29/items/FDNYforcibleEntryReferenceGuide/FDNY_Forcible_entry_reference_guide.pdf

[robgul]

Bah. A Nice Man is just finishing up fitting a new lock to my front door following a "getting locked out as the old lock b0rked" situation.

Drilling the old lock through the door at a Specific Location followed by poking , jiggling and mild swears got him into my flat. Clever stuff. I fear it will be a spendy exercise.

That happened to me a several of years ago:  Hardest part was convincing the letting agents that I hadn't lost my key, but the lock had snibbed itself (presumably) as I closed the door on the way out.  By the time the Nice Man arrived, I'd spent a good half an hour almost but not quite managing to un-snib it using a pair of spokes taped together.  He had a token go with the aid of his mirror-onna-stick, and then declared that I wanted a new lock anyway, didn't I? and got the BFO drill for precision application of ultra-violence.

Anyway *greps* here's some light reading that hopefully won't prove useful one day:
 https://ia601307.us.archive.org/29/items/FDNYforcibleEntryReferenceGuide/FDNY_Forcible_entry_reference_guide.pdf

At our previous house I managed to lock myslef out at about 2200 when the door blew closed behind me as I was putting something in the car.  My wife was away for 2 days.  Fortunately the door had a small glass panel about 30 x 20cm - non-safety glass - I broke the glass, and having long arms was just able to reach the lock and get back in.  Then a bit of fettling with a piece of wood to replace the glass temporarily overnight and a visit to the glass merchant the following day. Phew!   Since then I always have my keys on me . . . although where we live now the front and back doors don't close and lock without further intervention.

[Polar Bear]

A couple of years ago my youngest son and his partner moved house.  Their old house had a uPVC door with a regulation euro cylinder which requires you to actually lock the door.  The new property has a wooden front door with a mortice lock and a Yale lock.

Yup, you've guessed it.  Second day there ...   

[chrisbainbridge]

when we built our house I had a keypad fitted to the garage roller door.  I reckoned that the chances of losing/leaving my keys and all the electricity going off was low enough to be acceptable.  Not having t take keys with me on a bike ride was an added bonus

[Jurek]

Bah. A Nice Man is just finishing up fitting a new lock to my front door following a "getting locked out as the old lock b0rked" situation.

Drilling the old lock through the door at a Specific Location followed by poking , jiggling and mild swears got him into my flat. Clever stuff. I fear it will be a spendy exercise.

That happened to me a several of years ago:  Hardest part was convincing the letting agents that I hadn't lost my key, but the lock had snibbed itself (presumably) as I closed the door on the way out.  By the time the Nice Man arrived, I'd spent a good half an hour almost but not quite managing to un-snib it using a pair of spokes taped together.  He had a token go with the aid of his mirror-onna-stick, and then declared that I wanted a new lock anyway, didn't I? and got the BFO drill for precision application of ultra-violence.

Anyway *greps* here's some light reading that hopefully won't prove useful one day:
 https://ia601307.us.archive.org/29/items/FDNYforcibleEntryReferenceGuide/FDNY_Forcible_entry_reference_guide.pdf

There isn't much in that FDNY PDF that isn't terminally destructive.

[MattH]

To be fair, if you need to get into a building because either it's on fire or someone is desperate for help, being gentle with the door is probably quite low priority.

[Jurek]

Some years ago LFB made axes 'Officer Issue only' on account of a large number of fire fighters entering buildings and demolishing doors which weren't locked.

[Paul]

Some years ago LFB made axes 'Officer Issue' only on account of a large number of fire fighters entering buildings and demolishing doors which weren't locked.

Hence (at page 26 of the guide): And finally, you should always TRY THE DOOR KNOB - “is the door open?”

 

[Beardy]

I thought that the fire brigades of the world used a key, universal 10lb or metric equivalent 

[Kim]

I thought that the fire brigades of the world used a key, universal 10lb or metric equivalent 

That's not always enough for security doors (at least, not in a timely manner).  Hence the guide.  A lot of it is about ways to gain leverage in the right spot before applying the ultra-violence.

You've got to appreciate the cleverness of the Halligan tool in that context.